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Jacts aitb Jjmiocs. .r- There is an editor ninety-one years old. He attri- butes his long life and excellent health to the fact that he never expected to please everybody, and never tried to. He may be alive. but where is he L; IT POS,,IIPLE ?-Fli:st City Man But yo< don t mean to tell me you're the secretary of all these com- panies ?" Second ditto: ''Indeed I do, wiy dear bellow,' and they are genuine companies, too Why, bless jcur roul, sir, some of 'em pay dividends "Good morning said Mrs Gilligaa how is Patrick this morning?" Sure he's no better, tiir. 'I NVI) don't you send him to the hospital to be treated ?' To be treated, is it? Faith an' it's the delarium triinmins he has already," The Irishman explained that he was smiling because he had seen his cousin from Cark that day. On being asked if there was good news from home, he replied, I only saw him across the street: and when I ran up to him I found he was somebody else." At a restaurant a gentleman, who unmistakably doea not belong to the light-lingered tribe, is openly-not fnrtinly-pntting the spoons and lorks into hia pocket. The waiter says Allow me to observe that yon are putting the silver articles into your pocket." "Well, are they not comprised in the dinner-bill ? I thoucht by the charge it included everything on the table. "J There is a story told of a contemporary novelist who became so ill that his wife was obliged to engago 3 night nurse to attend him. At one p.m. his wife went into his bedroom and found the uuroe reading. gave that woman a hook ?" she asked in a vhisper. «' I, my dear." 'What book?" "My last vyork.^ How imprudent!" cried madam, with alarm. ^Dou 1 you know it is necessary for her to keep aw ake ? BILL NYE'S EXPERIENCE AS A .JC'TICE, -I was OTH" a Justice of the Peace, and good many funny little incidents occurred while I held that olfice. I do not allude to my official life here in order to call attention to my glowing career, for thousands of others no doubt could have administered the affairs of the office as w el: as I did, bat rather to speak of one incident which took place while I was a J.P. One umht, after I had retired and gone to sleep, a milkman called Bib Dunning rang the bell and got me out of bed. Tlwr he told me that a man who owed hun a milk bill oi thirty-five dollars was all loaded up and prepared tl slip across the line over land into Colorado, there tc grow up with the country and incur other indebtedness no doubt. Bill desired an attachment for the entin Watson-load of goods, and said he had an officer at hand to serve the writ. But," said I, as I wrappe1, a 'welcome' husk door-mat around my glorious pr" portions, how do you know while we converse tJ- gether he is not winging his way down the valley if Par(le.e. Nevei- mind that, jedge."saysWiIhan. you just fix the dockymentR aud I'll tend to tie defendant." In aa hour Bill returned with thirty-fi-e dollars in cash for himself and the entire costs of tie court, and as we settled up and fixed the docket I asked Bill Dunning how he detained t. e (lefeiidait while we made out the affidavit bond and writ of attachment. "You rekoilect, jcdge, says Wilinm, that the" aggiug wheel is held onto the exle wih a big nut. No waggin kin go any length of time wth- out that there nut onto the exle. Well, when I lis- kivered that what's his name was packed up andthe wagging loaded, I took the liberty to borrow oe o' them there nuts for a kind of memento, as it were,and I kept that in my pocket till we served the wriland he p^iu my bill and came to his milk, if you'll How me that expression, and then I says to him, Parker, says T, you are going far, far away, where I may never see you again. Take this here nut. says I, and put it onto the exle of the oft hind wheel of youi waggin, and whenever you look at it hereafter tbuk of poor old Lill Dunning the niiiktnau.Vew York ■if'Tawy.

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,THE IRISH QUESTION.

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rORDINATIONS.

"THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY."

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