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GREAT TRIALS. I I forgotten Tales of Crime and Mystery He-told. No. 2.- THE LAMSON MURDER. George Henry Lamson was a young medi- cal man of decided ability. He had pursued his profession with success, and rapidly obtained the much coveted degree of Doctor of Medicine. Belonging himself to a family of some position, he had married a Miss John, a lady of means, so that the opening of his career was of a promising charac- ter, and appeared likely to develop into a social and professional success. Lamson had a brother-in-law, named Percy Malcolm, and a sister, who had married a Mr. Chapman. Percy Malcolm John had the mis- fortune to sutler from paralysis of his lower timbs, bat, with this terrible exception, he enjoyed excellent health. Mr. Chapman placed Percy in a school at Wimbledon, known as Blenheim House School, and at this place he continued to live up to the time of kisaeath. i i;(- poor fellow, being paralysed in his lower limbs, was unable to walk, and there were kept for hi j u*e two wheel-chairs, one of which was placed on the second floor, where he slept, and the other on the basement, where he usually passed the day. Percy was a great favourite with his schoolfellows. He was generally cheerful, but at times his cruel privation made him despondent, parti- cularly when be saw the other boys enjoying y 11 their games, in which he could not join. Afier Dr. Lamson's mariiage he resiled at Bournemouth, and he appears in January, lfc81, to have been involved in great pecu- niary diilicul ties. The local bank closed his account, and later, in April, he had two exe- cutions in his house, and his furniture was eventually sold. In addition, he was deeply in debt to people in the place. At about this difficult time 1 r. Lamson, doubtless for the purpose of escaping from his cr-ditors, went to America. lie remained there o,ilv a few weeks, returning to England in July. AN'hilst I)r. I.,tiiison was in Aii,.erica he wiote a letter to Mr. Bedbrook, the prin- cipal of Blenheim House School, saying that while it, the United States be had met some- one suffering from a similar complaint to that of Percy Malcolm John, and that he had derived great benefit from taking certain pills, of which he forwarded a box, and begged Mr. Bedbrook to see that bis pupil took them. Mr. Bedbrook had no possible reason to doubt Dr. Lamson's sincere, not to say affectionate, interest in the boy, and had, therefore, no reason to hesitate in complying with his request. He went at once, on receipt cf the letter and pills, to the boy, who was then in bed, and gave him one of them, telling him of his brother-in-law's affectionate interest. The next day Percy complained of ,feeling very unwell, and, attributing it to the effect of the pills, said that he would not take I any more of them. There is no doubt that the affairs of Dr. Lamson were in as bad a condition as before, and that the short visit to America had not improved them in fact, on his return voyage he ingratiated himself with the ship's doctor and borrowed £ o of him, a sum he soon re-paid. The next link in the .chain of crime and treachery is in August, 1881. At the end of that time Percy Malcolm John went with his sister, Mrs. Chapman, to .Shanklin for a holiday. On the evening of the *28th of August Dr. Lamson went to the! shop of a chemist at Ventnor, and Du r- chased, amongst other things, one grain of acomtiiiQ. Aa it will be neces.. I sary to mention aconitine several times in the course of this sketch, it may be advi- sable to explain that it is a poison of the most deadly character, extracted from the roots of a plant vulgarly known as monkshood or wolfsbane. On about the 30ih of August Dr. Lamson sailed to see Mrs. Chapman and Percy Malcolm,- and, with his usual pretence of iffectionate solicitude for the poor fellow, induced him to swallow a quinine pill. After the doctor's departure Percy became very ill, the symptoms being the same that followed his taking the pill sent from America. The attack was so serious that his sister became geriously alarmed; but after a time he rallied. Now, up to this time Percy harboured no suspicion of Dr. Lamson's foul play, but the incident made an undefined impression on his mind, which future events developed. After a time the youth returned to Mr. Bedbrook's school at Wimbledon, and nothing of any moment occurred during the next few months. There is little doubt, however, that Lamsoii was, as usual. at his wits' end for want of money, because on November 24 he pawned a surgical instrument aId a gold hunting watch for k5. On a day, the date of which cannot be fixed, except that it was some time between the 20th and 24th of November, Lamson went to the well-known shop of Messrs. Bell and Co., chemists, 225, Oxford-street, and endeavoured to pur- chase some more aconitinp, but the assistant, being perfectly aware of the dangerous nature of the article, declined to sell it, suggesting that Dr. Lamson should go to some chemist who knew him. Apparently acting on this suggestion, 1 amson, who was doggedly determined to obtain the poison, his fell purpose being now fixed, went to the warehouse of Messrs. Allen and Han- bury, Plough-court, Lombard-street, and there purchased two grains of aconitine, for which he paid balf-a-crown, giving his correct name and address to the assistant G. B. Lamson, M.D., Bournemouth, Hants. On the 1st of December, 1881, Dr. Lamson was in London, and was staying at Nelson's Hotel, Great Portland-street, where he on that day wrote Percy Malcolm John the following Jetter NeIsol.'d Hold, Ureat Portlanil-s'reet, London, Decemb. r 1, 1881. My dear Percy,—1 had intended running down to Wimbledon to see you to-day; but I have been lelayed by various matters until it is now neatly fix o'clo,k. -itid by the time I sliculti re,iel) Blenheim House you would, probably, he preparing Tor bed. I leave for Paris and Florence to-morrow, tnd wish 10 see you before going. So I propose to ;un down io ynur place as enr'y as I can fer a few ninutes, even if I C'ln accomplish no more. .BelieVd me, dear boy, Your loving brolher, G. H. LAMsun. i/ it was thns that Dr. Lamson prepared his victim for a visit which had such a terrible ending for them both. But, curiously enough, Dr. Lamson did not keep his appoint- ment. Percy watched all day for his c; loving brother," but he did not arrive. The boy had mentioned to Mr. Bedbrook that he expected someone to call, but did not say whom. The day passed, and the boy went to bed disap- pointed. On Saturday, December 3, he was carried by one of his affectionate boy friends in the usual way from the second floor to the base- ment, and, with the exception of the paralysed condition of his lower limbs, he was in good health and spirits. The day passed, and Dr. Lamson again disappointed the eagerly expec- tant boy, but at five minutes to seven Dr. Lamson arrived. He was cordially welcomed by Mr. Bedbrook, and was taken by him through the drawing-room to the dining- room, that being the place where the boys saw their friends. Mr. Bedbrook sent for Percy to come to the drawing-room to see his brother-in-law. Mr. Banbury, one of the pupils, carried him up from the basement, and plaeedjbiru on a chair, Pr, Lamson, who had been to the school on several previous ¡ occasions, knew Banbury, who was pi-eparitig for the Army, and when he entered the room < with Percy exclaimed, with assumed good- natured astonishment: I thought you would have been in India by this time," and as Banbury was leaving the room he said to Percy Why, how fat you are looking, Percy, old boy "I wish I could say the same of you, George," replied Percy, laughingly. At this point Mr. Bedbi-ook broke into the conversation by asking the doctor if he would take a glass of wine, which question was answered in the affiunative. Mr. Bedbrook had previously noticed Lamson's partiality for sherry, and on this occasion he gave him the stimulant not in an ordi- nary-sized wineglass, but in a claret glass. The conversation continued briskly on various topics between Dr. Lamson, Mr. Bedbrook, and i'ercy presently a sudden thought ap- peared to strike Dr. Lamson, and he said:- Can you let me have a little sugar, Mr. Bedbrook ? This wine is heavily brandied, and a little sugar will diminish its alcoholic strength." "I I htve always understood that, just to the contrary was the case," said Mr. Bedbrook. But, as he was only a schoolmaster, he did not consider himself justified in arguing with an M.D., and, walk- ing to the side of the fireplace, he rang the bel!, and, on the appearance of a servant, ordered some sugar to be brought. What could have appeared more innocent than a demand for a little sugar, and little did either Mr. Bedbrook or Percy divine that there was anything amiss, yet the fact that a basin con- taining sugar was placed on the table was another link in the chain of circumstances leading to the cruel, treacherous murder which Lamson had planned. When the servant brought the sngar Dr. Lamson put a little in his glass, stirred it with his penknife, and then drank a JiLtle of the wine. He then opened a small black leather bag which he had brought with him, and took from it some Dundee cake and some sweets. He cut the calie with his penknife, and offered a piece to Mr. Bedbrook and another piece to Percy, at the same time handing both some sweets. Percy ate the cake and some of the sweets, but did not take any wine. Between talking and eating the time passed rapidly, and at a quarter past seven Lamson, turning to Mr. Bedbrook, said:— I- Ob, by the way, Mr. Bedbrook, when 1 was in America I thought of you and your boys, and it struck me what excellent things capsules would be for them to take nauseous medicine in"; and, as he said this, he again opened the black leather bag and produced two boxes of capsules, of which he took the tops and pushed one of them across the table towards the place occupied by Mr. Bedbrook, adding: 1 should like you to try one in ordt'r to see how easily they can be swallowed." Mr. Bedbrook picked up the box, and after looliing at the capsules took one out, the heat of his hand making it very soft. put it in his mouth, and swallowed it without difficulty. The second box of capsules was open and in front of Dr. Lamson, who, whilst Mr. Bed- brook's attention was taken up in examining the box of capsules handed him, was busily employed in filling one of the cap3ules which he had taken from the box before him with sugar from the basin. Holding the filled capsule between his linger and thumb, he said If you shake it in this way you will bring the medioine to the bottom. Suiting the action to the word, he shook the capsule, by which means he was mixing the aconitine, which was already in the capsule selected from the box, with the sugar. Percy was sitting on his right hand at about a yard distant, when Dr. Lamsoo, with an explosion of loud merri- ment, and in a louder tone of voice than usual, exclaimed Here, Percy, you are a swell pill swallower, take this and show Mr. Bedbrook how easily it can be done! Percy at once stretched out his hand, took the proffered capsule, put it in his mouth as far as he could to the root of the tongue, gave one gulp, and it was gone, and Percy Malcolm John was practically a dead man. Dr. Lamson's abominable purpose was at last accomplished. That's soon gone, my boy," said Mr. Bed- brook, laughing. At this moment Dr. Lam- son jumped up and exclaimed I must be off now!" The deadly deed was done, and the polite and cultured Dr. Lamson had no desire to be a witness of the writhing agonies of his inno- cent and confiding victim. The good-natured and unsuspecting schoolmaster was surprised at the doctor's hurry, and urged him to stay until the ten minutes to eight train from Wimbledon. Lamson said he could not do that, as it was necessary for him to catoh the eight o'clock train at London Bridge en loute for the Con- tinent. He added that he intended to go from Paris to Florence, where he purposed staying for a few months for the benefit of his health. After that he intended settling down for good in old England. He shook Percy cordially by the hand and cheerily wished him bl good- bye." Mr. Bedbrook accompanied him to the street door, and as the doctor was leaving said that he feared the curvature of Percy's spine wai getting worse, to which I.amson replied, as he stepped out of the house I don't think the boy will Inst long," No one could possibly know that better than fit-. Lamson. The poisoner left his victim at 22 minutes past seven. His visit, therefore, lasted 27 i- minutes. Mr. Bedbrook returned* to the dming- room, where he found Percy still sitting, the two boxes of capsules and the remainder of the cake and sweets being still on the table. He removed the two 1 oxes of capsules, and placed them on the dinner wagon, arid, later on, the c ike, sweets, and sugar basin were atao put away. That evening Mr. Bedbrook had a party. The guests began to arrive and two young ladies went into the dining-room, where there was a piano, and sang. After staying there about fifteen minutes they left the room accompanied by Mr. Bedbrook. Soon after this, Mr. Bedbrook bad occasion to enter the dining-room, and found Percy still the e The latter said that he felt as if be bad an attack of heartburn. It was now between eight and nine o'c'ock. Mr. Bedbrook was genially entertaining his guests but like a kind-hearted man, he did not forget Percy j. I the dining-room. After some time he Ie turned there to see how bis pupil was gettii. on. The boy was getting worse, and the cruel agonies he had endured at Shanklin returning 11 to his recollection, he said I feel as I felt after my brother-in-law bad given me a quinine pill at Shariklin's." He said that be should like to get to bed, and Mr. Bedbrook directed that he should be taken upstairs to his room. Mr. Bell, a fellow pupil, carried him there, Mr. Bedbrook re-joined his friends; but in half an hour's time he was called from the room and informed that Percy John was seriously ill. He at once hurried to the boy's room, where he found Percy lying on his bed, half undressed, apparently in great pain, and vomiting violently a dark-coloured fluid. The poor lad was throwing himself about, and it took several persons to hold him down and prevent him doing himself an injury. lie complained that his throat was closing, that he was unable to swallow, and had great pain in the stomach. Amongst the guests of Mr. Bedbrook were two medical men, Drs. Boll and Little, both residing at Wimbledon. Mr. Bedbrook in- formed these gentlemen of the condition of his I pupil. They at once attended the lad, who sontinued to proceed from bad to worse. At last they decided to inject morphia, and did so, to the relief of Percy and the satisfaction of those present. But the favourable change was of very short duration. He was a little better at half-past ten, but at that time the agonies of pain returned with greater violence. At a little before eleven he implored the doc- tors to again inject morphia, They complied with his earnest request, but on this occasion the remedy, powerful as it was, had no effect. He became slightly deli- rious, and soon after unconscious, his breathing became slower and more difficult, and was accompanied by long-drawn sighs the heart's action grew weaker and weaker, and at twenty minutes past eleven he expired. The poor lad's death occurred exactly four hours after he had swallowed the capsule. The circumstances attending Percy Malcolm John's death were so extraordinary that it was impossible it could be passed over in silence. The pills sent by the loving brother from America, the quinine pill taken at Shanklin, and its cruel consequences and then, as a climax, the awful suddenness of the death following the last capsule given at Blenheim House, were one and all matters which im- peratively demanded the strictest investi- gation. The morning after Percy's death, Mr. Bedbrook went to the Wimbledon Police- station and gave information there of what had happened. Communications were made to Scotland Yard, and Monday's papers contained an account of the mys- terious death of Percy Malcolm John, at Blenheim House School, Wimbledon. One of the assistants of Messrs. Allen and J Hanbury was reading an evening paper on Monday, when he saw an account of a young gentleman having died at a school at Wim- bledon shortly after having swallowed a cap- sule filled with sugar, which was given him by his brother-iii-laiv, Dr. Lamson. It occurred to the assistant that he had nine days previously sold two grains of a deadly poison to a gentleman, who had at the time written down his name and address as G. H. Lamson, M.D., Bournemouth, Hants. He mentioned his suspicions to his employers, and was speedily m touch with the police, and the information he was able to impart to them went a long way towards forming the chain of evidence which was to bring the poisoner to punishment. On the 8th of December, Inspector Butcher was in his office in the detective department at Scotland Yard when he was informed that a lady and gentleman wished to see him. They were shown into his room. When the door was closed, the gentleman said Mr, Butcher ?" Yes," replied the inspector, eyeing his visitor keenly and curiously. "My name is Lamson,' said the gentleman. "I am the Dr. Lamson whose name has been mentioned in connection with the death at Wimbledon." The lady was his wife. This naturally interested Inspector Butcher, who, with his most cordial smile, invited his visitor to he seated. I have called to see what is to be done about this matter," continued Lamson. "I considered it best to do so. I read the account in the public papers in Paris and came over this morning, I hav6 only just now arrived in London 1 am very unwell and much upset about this matter, and was not in a fit state to undertake the journey." Inspector Butcher at once personally com- municated to his chief, Superintendent Williamson, the fact that Dr. Damson, whom the detectives had been seeking in all direc- tions, was now actually in his room. The inspector, on returning to bis office, beckoned Lamson to follow him, and they both entered an adjoining room. Mr Batcher, on closing the door, told Dr. Lamson that it was his painful duty to take him into custody on the charge of wilfully murdering his brother-in- law. Percy Malcolm John. Dr. Lamson had played his last card, and from that time until the end, the more carefully circumstances were investigated the more cer- tainly the guilt of murder was fixed on his head. Dr. Lamson was tried before Mr. Justice Hawkins at the Central Criminal Court, Old Bailey, on the 8th of March, 1882, and the five following days- He was ably defended by the prince of criminal advocates, the late Mr. Montagu Williams, who did all that could be done to save his client. The proof, fortunately, was overwhelmingly strong. It was clearly proved that the boy died of poisoning by aoontine, and when that fact is linked with what has already been stated here no one can be surprised that after a patient hearing the jury found a verdict of guilty, and Dr. Lamson was sentenced to death and in due course executed for his atrocious murder. At the time of his execution he was only 29 years of age. Dr. Lamson was, to all intents and purposes, a fiend his crime was without any possible palliation. He, a man of culture and refine- ment, murdered the young, the innocent, and the confiding brother of his own wife, know- ing fully, by his professional knowledge, the deadly effects of the poison he, with a loud assumption of geniality, administered. He had even been callous enough to put upon paper an account of what he considered his victim's sufferings would be, and one cannot peruse the document, which was found by the police amongst his papers, with- out a feeling of shuddering loathing for the wretch who wrote it. There is but one other subject to which allusion is requisite; that is the motive which induced Dr. Lamson to commit such a dastardly murder. The pecuniary straits of Dr. Lamson have already been referred to; therefore, the fact that if Percy Malcolm John died his property would be divided amongst his relatives, and that Lamson's wife would have her share, thus placing money in the doctor's hands the need and greed of money was Dr. Lamson's sole motive to commit the crime. NEXT WEEK: TIUAL OF EAIL FERRERS.

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DEATH OF A MISSIONARY BISHOP, 're Chftrct) Missionary Society have received a tnte»rapliic. announcement of the suddt-.n death on January 12 "f the Right. Rev. John Horden, D.D., of Monsorce, which presumably took place "olse Factory, whence the intelligence must ivri been convoyed by post messenger to Oitawa, I-etiearest, telegraph s'ation. Mr. Horden went ut in 1851 to Moos" Fort, on Hudson's Bray, na a pioneer missionary, and was consecrated first bishop of JVloosonee on December 15, 1872. It is believed that the bishop had just completed the re- vision of his translation of the whole Bible into Greece, into wh ch language lie had also translated the prayer book and several work".

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A Dalziel telegram from Euda-Festh §a7g;_A girl, twelve yens of age. on Thursday night opened a piano which her parents had recently bought in Vieritia, and which had ntiver since its itriival been played upon. Immediately she touched the keys a formidable explosion occurred, and the girl waa severely injured. It was ascer- tained, on examination of the instrument, that a bomb had been placed inside it. The police have instituted an inquiry into the affair. EVRRY MAN interested in the subject of Debility, Decay, &c., should read the New Medical 11 ot k by all .Eminent Surgeun. which gives full particu- lars how to successlully treat the most obscure cases of Nervous Derangements and Organic Diseases WITHOUT TRY,, AID OF QUACJCS. One hundred pages of valuable information, with special remarks on the moans adopted by advertising CHAKLATANS.— Pent on receipt of address by THE SURGEON, MIA-ICAI, txrri- 7:VT8 ftVNSWICX SOAR, LIVBITPOOI^ 1395;

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Billingsgate at Home. I o BY JEREMY STUART. The Cardiff Arms-park was belching forth its crowds of football spectators when I waded through the mud of St. Mary-street and passed up Wharton-street. As I went I was pursued by an Express boy who shouted as he went, Spress here Newport and Cardiff! final score I I asked him to tell me the result of the match, but he doubled me up with a withering look from his left eye, and passed on towaids Hoath like a whirlwind, while J followed my course to the fish market on the Hayes. I was going there for several reasons; not because f waiited ifsh-- certainly not. Let no one imagine, however, from this last sentence that [ wish to cast any imputation upon the quality of the fish which is sold there. The remark referred to represents only the pre- judiced state of my mind when I determined I to view the market. On my arrival any doubt as to the odour of the fish was dispelled. The flake-white banks of decapitated cod spoke eloquently of )1 a very recent death, and I was tempted to purchase. It is, however, my practice to leave transactions of this kind to my wife, who, with all her charnig, possesses an un- flinching face and a somewhat aggressive manner, so that when she completes a bargain it is generally at the vendor's expense. I can never even ask the price of an article of diet without exhibiting great distress of mind and being painfully conscious of the glances of the passers-by. Tn this particular instance, though, 1 think I should have purchased had it not hren for one circumstance. "He who hesitates is lost." I hesitated, and as I did so I caught the eye of a rosy and fur-trimmed damsel, who I thought was eyeing me curiously. She seemed to me to be wondering whether I was a landlord or a lodger, and my youthful appearance puzzled her. Assuming the look of an interested sightseer from foreign parts, as distinguished from that of a careworn family man, I there- upon turned away unconcernedly and hid myself behind the pedestal of the Batchelor monument. Here I gradually regained my composure by a careful study of the inscription and by allowing the kind western wind to blow the rising blush from my temples. As my embarrassment slowly disappeared I became aware of the resonant ring of earthen- ware pans and of a rapid and confused clatter similar to the music produced by striking the back of one plate against another, and all forming a running accompaniment to a some- what piercing, though attractive, voice. The latter I found upon inspection to pro- ceed from a female who stood on a cask, and accompanying herself upon the plates, seemed from the direction of her glance, to be invit- ing, with feminine anxiety, the pedestrians at the top of Bute-street to buy crockery at any risk. The cask on which this woman stood served all the purposes of a rostrum, chair, and dining table, and was placed behind a long stall. Upon the latter was a group of china dogs, shining and expectant, waiting always for bones that never came, and undaunted by the sight of empty plates that lay all around. There were also fierce china warriors and little shepherdesses with swollen cheeks and swollen eyebrows, all surrounded by a confu- sion of glass and culinary utensils. I was about to make a few cautious in- quiries of the noisy occupant of the cask when, with appalling suddenness, I noticed, hoisted with painful prominence on one of the posts of the stall, a couple of articles of ware which so disconcerted me that I beat an abrupt retreat. It was now getting dark and the flames of the nachtha lamps were leaping and splutter- ing all over the market, now disappearing unexpectedly and again shooting up excitedlf and spitting drops of fire. A Cheap Jack near by was expatiating on the merits of his hard ware. A razor he held in his hand was, he declared, one of the identical make used by Mr. Gladstone, and possessed a far keener edge than even that of some of the utterances which escape froIU the lips of that statesman. "I Ere,' said he to a melancholy young fel- low in front of him, at the same time offering him the razor. 'Ere you are, sonny Just the thing for young sprouts, and all for six- pence—'ere, force 'em up for a tanner But the youngster addressed collapsed witb a shy smile and hurriedly took his smooth chin to the next stall, where he became absorbed in the contemplation of some very fiery and fierce-looking gurnets. To my immediate right there was a dis- play of toys with rows of rigid dolls, blushing as if with a keen sense of the scantiness of their attire; and, further on, ramparts of ggiiatlye" oysters, and boxes of emaciated bloaters, all covered in by striped awningso suggestive of Penarth Beach on Bank Holiday. Passing these stalls, I arrived at the free jihrarv wall just in time to witness the final tableau of the Punch and Judy drama, and the burial of the executioner. A flood of wonderful harmony suddenly swept around the corner from the Salvation Army Band, and I gave a violent start, and communicated it to a policeman who had fallen into deep meditation, and who, thus suddenly roused, asked me, from an over- powering sense of duty, to 11 pass along." I satisfied the constable by getting into motion, and flung myself wildly upon the step of » Roath tram, from the top of which I took a final view of "Billingsgate at home."

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"I insist," remarked the professor, f-tha. knowledge is power." "Not always," con- tended the business man. Hut, my dear SIT, won'o you admit that education is one of the strongest powers we have ?" Not in every oase," 1 can't understand how you can maintain such a position." "Easy enough. For instsnce, a chap, whom I knew to be as well educated as I am not, asked me in six foreign languages to lend him £ 20, and as I did not understand what he said, he didn't get it, and I am just £ 2 ah-,ad- see ?" His GUESS. You can't guess how many jokes I write," said the humourist. "Just try. Guess how many a week." How many are weak P" queried the cynic. We!l—ninety-seven per cent. ]-h P" WHAT WE WILL COME To. Book Agent (at the door): I should like to- see the head of the house. Servant: Please, sir, there ain't any. Tbix house is run on Bellamy principles. SOME MISTAKE. Cabbage Did you say Snooper could play the French horn ? liubbage: Yes. Cabbage: It's all a mistake. lIe doesn't know a word of French. His KIND. Ob, dear me," laughed Chappie, when bt> was asked if he could dauce, 1 have all the accomplishments of my kind. "I'd like to see some of your knitting." saId Cynicus. HER liEItCKE. Larkin (at telephone) Hello New Girl (at Central) Is that the way to address a lady who is a perfect stranger to you, sir ? A FAR-FETCHED STORY. Willie Wilt: What do you think of ont fi-iend Spyiin's writing? Don't you think be carries realism too far P Maid Marion: Decidedly. He told me the other day that he had had to walk 3G miles to find a publisher. SAM JONES'S EPIGRAMS. QUAINT AND QUEER EXPRESSIONS FROM TB# FAMOUS PREACHKR. Get There!" was the title of a lecture delivered by the Rev. Sam Jones, at Metzerot Hall, the other night, for the benefit of the Young Men's Christian Association. The tiev, Sam "got there" in his own peculiar way, to the delight of a largo audience, says the Washington Neivs. Among his bright, original utterances were the following: "I'd a heap rather be a rascal than a fool j you kin reform a rascal, but what hope is there for the fool ?" Slang is good, clear English boiled down to concentrated form." "A dude is nothing more or less than society gone to Beed." "1 was walkin' down the street with my little boy the other day, and we passed dude. My little boy says to me,' Papa, what is that ?' I says, My son, that's a dude. Then God loves to have fun as well as the rest of us,' says he." If I was to see my wife riding down street with one of these yere poodle dogs in her lap I'd strike out for Dakota, where you kin git divorce in six minutes." Every time the Democrats or Republioans act the rascal the Populists act the fool, and the fool always gets left.' "Hell is nothing but selfishness on fire, and it's a wonder to me some of these old cusses don't go up with spontaneous combus- tion." The church is the only thing in this country that's dearer than a cemetery," Did you ever notice that the more dignity a preacher's got the deader he is ?" Whatever else may be said of the mem- bers of the United States Congress, there ate men within its folds and ubulldozable as the God who made them." I do believe old Grover Cleveland has got more backbone to the square inch than any- body I know. He's got a backbone like circus pole."

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PARRY Al-ID Rocius'a Welsh Yarns are tltl best,