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YSTRAD MEURIG. FC-T IWAN'S COLLEGE.—An evening concert, was i at t e av>ov« place on St Davi '8 Day, when the following programme was L'one throngh Pianoforte *? r. th > Misse* Jone->; I ra Henlven Haf," 1' e Y-:ril! Me irio- Gie« Party; D. io Bach." Mis- J. E'».!lS, -.ryatwyth Ond," Kr Pric-. Werafe". i- Sr'i, Mr D. Divies, Pontrhvdfeodi- The Missing Boat." Misa M. Jones, Llanil tr • •• Kil'aloo in costume, M- Ch tries Davids, Ys rai Adlais y _dvddi>»n gynt," Miss' Evans, LIP LU-i r: Oaru r Lleuad," Mr J. Davie*, L an- t •' on a load of May," Miss M. Jores • ^-ch 'ri-ed," Mr Price; « Go?onia-t 1 Gvturu Mr D. D-uigs; "arby and Juan Miflfl M r^an How Stre'; "Little Brown Jng," Mr Cs D-vi s Come bir ie, com- Miss HI van* H: M J. Da vies; ''Gyda'r Wawr," Miss J f Ml go!lH's y tren," Mr Price Y fam a'i 1 > Miss Morgan T«idy Jones," Mr Claries Davies Y Gwlithyn," The Fsmu! ST ung Gi, Ptrty I. Pa le mae'r Arnfn Mi-s kvaits "Or. pro Nobis," Miss Morgan; t. The A'lT.-ar- Market Cry," in custome, by Mewi-rs Cb.t" >• D-iviea, J. D. Jo ,e-, S. A. Jones, aud D. Aiaid vj ii Davi«s. Aft r the usnal vote of thanks the me«-ti.o{ "'a'l broil !t to 'l cl 'se hy singing tne National Anthem, Hen WW fy Nhadau." The piiiiofo tf d(j(-<t was w Is pl .yed by the Misses Jones, and 'he Ysfra i Mearig Glee Pirty did justice in rt-n- rni./ th two MIss J. Evans, Mis- M. Jones, n-i Miss £ van« deserve praise for the way in ■wni-t. .h y Sing. And Miss Morgan- iu her nsnal good stvl.. well maintviiit-d ih-, high renutation which sn- -o d-sfi vedly won. It is her first appearance at -1 as M'-nrij b t we sincerely hope it is not her h", hfr invaluable services have secured her i- v-m iecef>u at any time. Mr D. D tvies and Mr Price did i h»tr i-»«rt well, «nd Mr Charles Davife in ')!" c ""IC and interesting style well merited thi- ap:> An -e he r«>-eive-i, ms w-it Mr J. Davies, whose nsiuie is t > well kiiown iu th- district to require any P' us«from Uic present writers neu. The accompani- ments were p'ayt.r! hy Miss M. Lloyd, Pontrhydy groes. kin iy a-s st d by Miss M. Davi-s, Pensjarreg, and we bng t. 'rt ly .-on-zratnlate both on the able aid satisfactory tB f). r in whil'h they performed their lot; a. he ch.ir was credilably fiiled by onr r.-spected Vicar and the E^v John Jones, VI. A. Tue schoolroom wis well filled and all seetned ;o be satsne) w tr> the proceedings. The procee a e to be d«voted to the heading Room alren, .y i trined, and :.h- aiditiooal library which is intended to be formed t an early date, and not to the football c ub as some have erroneously auppos d. ABE^ A.YR0N". BRITISH SCPOOL.—The adjourned meeting of managers of the British School was held at the school- room >n I uesday evening, March 1st. present Rev W. Evans in the chair, Rev E. Morris, Messrs D Lewis, D. Lloyd J. YVdliams, T. H. Jones, D. Harries J. Rees, J. Jones. J. Evans and J. T Evans. The sui'committee appointed at the last meeting of m m igers havinar selecte five names of the applicants for the he 'dmastcr^hip of the school submitted the same for the consideration of the meeting. The names beiriej Messrs \V. Davids, Newfoundland, E. J. tiriffitas, Saui dersfort, W. Jenkins, Pontrhydy- groes, J. Eml/n Jones, Penuwch, and J. Williams, Penlone.—-After readintr the appiicacions and the testimonials of the said five sersons, the meeting divided on them, with the result that Mr J. Williams, Penlone, had a elenr majority the fiivt time of voting, eonseqnently he was appointed to the head mastership of the school. -=-=- [%>- THE W-v v •' LiLL>. ;V u SE U | HT I/ I" -• « Z'/ W/7 0 i.' x TTAA-M: v •• VV XAJTX. HOGHES'S BLOOD PILLS, j..i Du t;, v." TIfr: ).]: INC HKKKDV OK Or u Km MKASS 00-03) JBLOOL). ]¡ J: ,I. L T!! AND STLLKSCTXI. I VIGOROUS LIFE J .NI'DLNOC V WHWL I.) lie C.TS V-1 v ,TR an,L WEALIHV c NS «. The fc.rmer.th* the «• ,rW >i.. n,i:I. !he jriri mi he „J R.'<" IIIOIH.rr in ii! hrim.' in IR h ive IR .•»H«.I«.vlef,roiw.H™ t v. I„R -u- 'if*. BAD BLOOD K2ANS SICK1TESS & POVERTY. HUGHES'S BLOOD PILLS J). JC.I-OV the evil jr-MN ilnt lire.D (lis. ::se. HI-N T::E ZA :I MIJ r.fy and PTRCKIFTHML ii. «!OREL. -h.-I-. by piviiiL' Henlrh ANIL MEW iL,t('to the Body. s.urinp PITRE BLO0D. HEALTHY SKIf STRONG NERVES, ACTIVE LIVER, VIC-OROTJ? i DIGESTION SOUND KIDNEYS. Iwr<wvn"pm«T i:,° f,,d Bbt HITGHES' ILLOOD PIJJLS t orn tiw Chemist or Patent Medicine Lieni.-R FEO^D lit Is. li-L., SS. 94.. and 44. Cel.: or send direct to the Maker, JACOB HUGHES, Manufacturing Chemist, Penarth,! J 2avK A aavai SUVK A iiavai; who will stmd 'ffijAiioif*in Aemby iiGvWnftm reiurn, THE MARKETS. ABERYSTWY V FT, MONDAY. Wheat, 5s 9d to 6s 3d per 65 lbs barley, 4s Od to Am 6d per bushel: white oats, new, 38 Od to 3s 6d per bushel black, old, 3s Od to 3s 3d per bushel, egga 9 for 1B; butter, salt, Is 2d to Is 3d per lb butter, fresh. Is 3d to Is 4d per Ib; fowls, 4s Od to 5s Od a couple chickens, Os Od to Os Od ducks. 5s Od to 6s Od geese, Os Od to Os Od turkeys, 7s Od to 9s Od potatoes, 2s 9d to 3s 6d a cwt. HOLLOWAY'S PILLS.-Good lpiri .-Every one has f i equently experienced sudden personal changes from gaiety to gloom. The wind and weather often- time. receive the blame when a faulty digestion is alone the cause of the depression. Holloway's Pills can be honestly recommended for regulating a disordered stomach and improming digestion. They entirely remove the sense of fulness and oppression after eating. They clear the furred tongue, and act as a whole,ome stimulant to the liver, and as a gentle aperient to the bowels They healthfully rouse both body and mind. Holloway's Pills are the best known antidotes for want of appetite, nausea, flatulency, heartburn, langour, de^re^sion, and that apathy so characteristic of chronic derangement of the diges- tion. Failing Mu cular Power.—Quinine and Iron sustains incre BEG, ti,velopes strength. Pepper's Quit.ine and lion hebext. A Rare Appetite.—When depressed, unable to eat with relish, try i'epper's Quinine and Iron Tonic. A Fair, Beautiful Skin.—Supholiue Soap gives the natural tint and peach-like Bloom of a perfect complexion. makes the Skin smooth, supple, healthy, comfortable, gd. Talets. Everywhere. The Editor of the Medical Annual" speaks in the highest terms of CADBUI%Y'S COCOA as a bever a.ge and a food for invalids on account of its absolute purity, high quality, and good solubility and counsels the Medical Profession to remember, in recommending Cocoa, that the name CADBURY on any packer is a guarantee of purity. To Darken Grey Hair.—Lockyer's Sulphur Hair Restorer ii the quickest, best, safest, and cheapest. Lockyer'n Weeps rivals or tirm*. Causes Hair to grow. Large iiottles Is 6d. Everywhere. Cadbury's Cocoa has, in a remarkable degree those natural elements of sustenance which give the system endurance and hardihood, building up muscle and bodily vigour, with a sturdy action that render it a most acceptable and reliable beverage.-Health. 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"PACTS AND FANCIES.
"PACTS AND FANCIES. THE JUDGE DECIDED. A Hindoo, having been summoned to give evidence before the Court of Judicature at Cal- eutta, deposed that such a circumstance happened in her presence. The judge naked where it; happened; she ro- plied in the verandah of such a houso. "Pray, my good woman," saidthejudga, "how maasr oiliir? are there in the verandah?" The womarv not perceiving the trap that was laid before her, without much considera- tion said that the verandah was supported by four pillars. The counsel from too opposite party im- mediately offered to prove that the verandah contained five pillars, and that, consequently, no credit could be given to her evidence. The woman, perceiving ht;r error, addressed the judge. "My lord," she said, "your lordship has for many years presided in this court, and every day that you como here ascond a flight of stairs; may I beg to know how many steps these stairs Consist ot' The judge confessed that he did not know. "Then,"repHed she, "if your lordship can- not Cell the number of s'. -;w you ascend daily to the «ea!< of justice, it cannot bo astonishing that 1 should forget the numbur of pillars in a balcony whiciti never tutored ittilf times in my life." The judge dccided that point in her favour. i SHE \VAS 7,1 OTHER. SICK. Not, Ioog ago Daisy was induced by a Imly who Wtt8 (In terms of intimate relationship to go and visit her for a day or two. Daisy st ent, the time allotted and then was brought back by her hostess, who remarked with a smile "I am afraid that ¡ ',Ii, d:dJ)'t have the best time in the world. She wept slightly once or twice. After the lady had gone, Daisy's mother asked her Where you home-sick, Daisy?" "No, not home sick, you know, but I guess I was a little mothnr-sirkf mamma After the demonstration that followed, Daisy asked Where you happy while I was away, mamma?" Not very happy, Daisy." "Then I s'pect you must. have been child- sick, weren't you, mamma?- THE BASHFUL MAIDEN. He had never told his love, their acquaint- ance had been a very short one and when suddenly he had placed his arms about her neck, and imprinted a kiss upon her rosebud mouth, she was natnraliy startled. "Sir," she said, this is illsufrerable." "Forgive me!" he cried. "I was mad to act thus. I beseech you, pardon me iNo, I can never forgive you—never You have forfeited my friendship. You must leave me at once and forever." Vainly lie pleaded she was obdurate. So glaring an offence could not be condoned. And so he said he would go. His whole life would be embittered, for he felt that her image could never be effaced from his heait. I will go," he said sadly, "but before I leave there is one boon that I would ask. I feuI that. I am not unreasonable in desiring and ex- pecting that you will grant this one little final favour." "What is it?" she asked gently, touched by his emotion. Won't you please take your arm from around my"neck ? DI? E N Ml ANTED. An Englishman (hill" in a Chinese village was greatly etroyii-g a savoury dish, and would have expressed his plea-tire to the waiter, who, however, understood nothing of English, nor couid our friend utfur a word of Chinese. The smacking of lips indicated satisfaction; nil. 1 thell came Lhe question, ingeniously put: I'ointing at a portion o; mc.it in the. dish, and which he supposed to be duck, the English- man, wiLh nil enquiring look, said: "Cuack! qua ok quack 1" The waiter gravely shuking his head, ao much as to say .\o, replied: Bow wow wow. SHE WANTED TO TTURRY UP. She had been riding on Ihe'enr for five streets tvhen the conductor came in, and held out his hand for her fare. How much V she innoccntly asked, as sho began to search her pocket. Twopence halfpenny, p'easo." "Mercy on me! Have things gone up?" Yes'm.' "Just, my luck I'm going down town afterd a quart of v inegar and a head of cabbage, ane I suppose they'll want to double the pric. Lemmc!geto!and])nrryup." TTTE PRETTY WAITRESS. She was ex trcmely pretty, and as she moved gracefully about the table T fancied that there was a look in her eyes which betrayed a long- ing forahigher and nobler life. So, as siie placed the stewed steak down and looked at me, I said Maiden, doesn't your soul call out for glnd- ness and the sunlight of a glorious life, far from the odour offriett onions? Isn't there a burning in your bosom for the solace of music?" Teaorco.'i'ee ?" Don't you sometimes yearn to wander in the Eden of Art amI cull tho choicest flowers, where Irish stew Can never enter? Say, do you dream of moonlight on Venetian wafers, or do you hear in your slumbers the soft notes of the shepherd's lut.e ?" Teaorcoffee ?" Or do you pine for the grand—the im- posing? Do you wander in thought through Roman arches ? Do you look down on the struggling gladiators of the ancient arena, and mingle with ladies who never dish up cold cab- bage or hash ?" Teaorcoffee ?" Or have you uncontrollable longings for poetry? Do your fingers stray now and then as though wandering over the strings of a beautiful harp? And doesn't it chill your young heart when you awaken from such a dream to find that your fingers are twining about plates of sausages and mashed, instead of harp strings ?" Teaorcoffee ?" "Girl, there are realms higher than this, where the affinity of souls is wondrous, and where angels' voices chime melodious lays. There are1 realms where the busts of storied Greeks seem to smile down on the-" TenoreofTee ? "Coffee." And when the girl went away to geb the coffee, I heard her say to another low-born drudge that it was a shnme to let a maniac run at large. THE WAY SHE WILLED IT. "And so you are going to be married ?" "Yes; and I am so happy! I love Charles with my whole heart." Has lie any property I believe so. And as he ien't¡ very well, I have permitted him to make a will in my favour." Very good in him, I'm sure. But you have some property of your own. Have you willed that to Charles?" What a ridiculous idea Of course not but I've arranged it eo that he can't get held of it." BAD DRAINS. He was a butler of Irish descent, and much given to the study of alcohol. At last his mis- tress, Mrs. Gilbert, could stand it no longer. "Dennis," she said, as he brought; in the tea- urn, you've been at the whiskey again." "Indeed, ma'am, sorra a dhrap has passed my lips this blissedday." How dare you tell me such a flllsehood: I can smell your breath." "Is it me bhrith, ma'am? Sure it's not the whisky at all, at all, but the bad dhrains."
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A Highland Fling—ToMinc the Caber.
YOUNG FOLKS' COLUMN.
YOUNG FOLKS' COLUMN. THE PETRIFIED MAN. A SPANISH LKGEND. "Now, what have you got, to say for yourself, I you rogue?" inquired the proprietor with much wrath. I have caught you myself in the very act, and you cannot; escape with any more of your lies. What have you to say for yourself, you rascal ? Say for myself?" replied Mateo, with an innocent expression on his face. "NVitat slioiii(I I have to say for myself, but that I am gather- > ing grapes for your interest ami profit?" "But you are eating more than you pick, yon scoundrel said the master indignantly. "Do I you mean to tell me that I, who have been watching you for the last twenty minllteóÕl, am blind or drunk, or tlaat lam accusing you falsely of eating my most, valuable grapes?" "Eating your grapes!" said Mateo fiercely. "Dol not know—J, a vine-grower myself (and A not unsuccessful one)—that; these are a rare And choice killd of grllpe, especially grown for a very rare and choice kind of wine? VA—seuor, you could not think so ill of me as that May | the blessed saints turn me into a stone image if I have committed such a fraud upon you, or robbed you in the smallest way Here lie stopped and placet! his basket on his arm, preparatory to leaving, and in a moment; a curious change camo over Mateo. The pro- prietor and overseer were almost frozen with fear. The Saints, whom Mateottai invoked, had taken him at. his word. His f< ct seemed gtucdtothespob. He tried in vain to MOVE. And gradually his t,lillio(I to white stone. Mateo's face was full of horror. What is the matter with me. Icannob move Here ho looked dOWII al. his feel, allll uttered a shriek WHEN lie saw that, they were turned to Stone. Oh, senores dear senores lie cried in his agony, "cannot; you hulp me ? Pull me out of this don't, stand looking at me, but pull me out, If 1 could ONLY get, my feet out, I should be till right. See my body is quite as usual. I have lied hoyun, oh my master and 1 did oat the crapes; lJlII, I did IIllt nloall to steal from yon—tttidm.tindcfd. And I will never do it again, if you will only forgive me, and help me out, of thiw!" His eyes were almost starting out of his bead as he held out, his arms appealing to his employer. Both men did what; they could for him. They tried to move him by main force, but it; was of no use. Tiley pulled and thoy tugged. Then Lhey called all the workmen, and together they tried to pull him from the ground. They rubbed him with i vinegar an I oil to take the stiffness out,. Some of the strongest men fainted with fear when they saw their comrade's, plight. But. it. was all of no use. The stone seemed to creep further along his body. They then teuton their knoes and implored the Saints to stay their vengenco J upon a penitent! man. "He appealed to you because he believed himself innocent." they cried, "and because he was so poor. Who knows better than you, oh blessed and merciful SaiIlL, that perhaps grapes were HI* only food alld sustenance in his poverty ? We have j been too hard upou him." But they appealed j in vain. \hen they turned towards the ob ect; of their prayers, lie I)CYoll(i the reach of human aid. lie wa., l-1I1'I¡"d to 8tolle, jll,L as ho stood, his bat-kotonitidurmanfihiseyoa sbaring illto vacancy In the cor- nor of an old garden in Daroea, travellers are to this day shown with great awe l-Ile "Mall of Stone."
A CURIOUS TRUTH.-I
A CURIOUS TRUTH.- Here is A curious old story that is something like a puzzle. A ei-ocoiiie stole a baby iii Life days when animals could talk, and was aboub to devour it. The poor mother begged pitoou-dy for her child. "Tell me one truth," said t.he crocodile, "and you shall have your baby again." The mother thought, it, over, and at last said: "You will not give him back." "Is that the truth you mean to toll?" asked the crocodile. "Yes," replied the mother. "Then by our agreement I keep him," said the crocodile for if you told the truth, I am roc going to give him back and if it is a falsehood, then I have also won." Said she "No, you are wrong. If I told the truth yon are bound by your promise and if a falsehood, it is not, a falsehood until after you have given me my child." Now who won ?
~ WITHOUT FAITIT.
WITHOUT FAITIT. Many years ago, when the great Prairie State was a new country, a meet,ing was held ati a grove near a schoolhouse on one of its broad ptairies to pray for rain. For weeks the skies had seemed to be brass. The grass had withered, the corn was yellow and sickly, ga>- dens had been abandoned, 'streams had dri d up, live stock was suffering, and farmers w»re indireditbress. For many miles around tliey camo pouring to that grove. Their needs were desperate, and no help was to be expected from human sources. Why should they not look heavenward ? The hot, sun poured down its rays on the parched earth, as they perspired and prayed. Not a cloud could be seen in all the broad sky, but they remained until late in the afternoon, despairingly urging their cause. Then a change came over the heavens. A cloud no bigger than a man's hand appeared low down on the horizon. IT spread with great rapidity, lightning Hashed across the sky, thunder crashed alld echoed ill deafening peal op peal, and before the people load recovered from their surprise, the rain was falling in tor- rents. For feu long hours it poured down with- out intermission on the thirsty, eai th. The farmers who had come with their families drove home through the storm wet to the skin and grumbling at the unexpected answer to their prayers. For of all the thousands who went, to that njieetiiig not one had taken an umbrella except a little girl, ill answer to whose prayer of faiLI. Llml; rain came.
SHE KNEW TOO MUCH.I
SHE KNEW TOO MUCH. NY, liat tire you doing there, Jane ? Why, pa, I'm going to dye my doll's pina- fore red." But what have you to dye it with ?" Beer, pa!" "Beer! Who on earth told you that beei would dye red. "Why, ma said yesterday that it was beer that made your nose so red, and I thought that Here, SLIEiaii, titlie this child to bed.
"THE SHOEMAKER" TO HIS LAST."!
"THE SHOEMAKER" TO HIS LAST." A specimen of Katie's faith in Lite prayer shows that; she believes in faith w¡: ] works. Site and a little companion had got locked into tho bathroom, and after long AND fruitless efforts to unlock the door, Katie pro- posed a prayer for deliverance, which SHE immediately began, but after lirst directing hot little fellow captive to make, while the praycl, was under way, a vigorous and industrious use J of a screw driver, which they had got hold of. "The door como wite open," said Katie. "But I why didn't you use the screw driver and let Mary do the praying?" "Cos she can't pray'g Ni-ell 'a I can—and she can use screw drivers."—
\ SCOTCH WIT.
SCOTCH WIT. A Scotch lad was on ono occasion accused of stealing some articles from a doctor's shop. The judge was much struck with his respectable appearance, and asked him why he was guilty of such a contemptible act. Weel, ye see," replied the prisoner, "I had a bit of pain in my side, and my mither tauld me tae gang tae the doctor's and tak' something." "Oh yes," said the judge, but surely she didn't tell you to go and take an eiglit-day clock The prisoner was evidently nonplussed, bub it was only for a moment. Turning to the judge, a bright smile of humour stealing over his countenance, he replied quietly 11 an auld proverb that says, Time an' the doctor cure a' diseases,' all' sae I thocht But the remainder of the reply was losb in the laughter of the court).
PITMAN'S CHICKENS.
PITMAN'S CHICKENS. A novel method of getting rid of troublesome chickens is given by Max Adeler. He describes ib as follows We had a good deal of trouble last summer with Pitman's chickens as fast as we planted anything in our little garden, those chickens of Pitman's would creep through the fence, scratch up the seed, fill up, and go home. When the raddish-bed had been ravaged in this manner for the fifth time, wo complained to Pitman. He was not disposed to interfere. 'Adeler,' he said, I tell you it does 'em good; and it does them beds good to be raked over by chickens. If I have radishes, give me chickens to scratch around thorn and cat up the worms. Radishes that haven't been scratched ain't worbh a. CCII L,' "Tllen we climbed over the fence, with deter- mination to take the law in our own hands. Wo procured half a peck of corn and two dozen small fish-hooks. Fastening the hooks each to a grain of corn, we tied wire Lo each hook. Then we scattered the whole of the corn on the radish-bed, and fixed the end of the wire to the biggest skyrocket we could got. The rocket stood in a frame about ten yards away from the hooks. That very morning Pitman's chickens came over, and instantly began to devour the corn. Wo were ready, and, as soon as it; was evident that the hooks were all swallowed, wo applied a match to that rocket. It is regarded as probable that 110 barn-yard fowls that have existed since the days of Noah ever proceeded towards the azure vault of heaven with such rapidity as those did. A fizz, a few ejaoulatory cackles, a puff of smoke, and Pitman's rooster* and chickens were swishing around among the celestial constellations without their feathers, and in some doubt respecting the stabiHby of earthly things. Pitman never knew what became of his fowls but when we read in the paper next day that twenty-four underdone chickens, with fish-hooks in their craws, had been rained down by a hurricane in New Jersey, we felt certain that the skyrocket had done its duLy."
" TOO MANY COOKS."|
TOO MANY COOKS." A capital story was told the other day of what; recently happened to a pair of trousers. Tile young man to whom they belonged had purchased them for his wedding, but on the eve Of that auspicious event he discovered that, they were Lwo inches too long. So 110 went, dowll:3lairs to his mother and two sisters and informed them of the calamiLy. They were busy—JUST) sympathised with him vaguely, as people occupied are apt to dll, butsaid no more. To all outward impression the affair had not .), .rurhcd them great ly. On the, first, spare moment, however, that, the mot HER had she went; npstairs, cut, LlVn inches off 1.10" trousers, hemmed them, and returned down- stairs nithon), being mi.-sed. •Just AS thoy were sitting down to supper the el lor »isi tir sirh Ion I y remembered John's request;, SLIPPED away quietly, and went; and removed AUI.IL her two inches, hemmed as her mother had dOIl", and returned to the party without; mention- ing what, she had done. The party broke liP, bedtime arrived, and now 111" younger How impatiently t.o remove the ditli- culty in her In ot her's at,I,ire, and again the trousers were diminished by two inches. SO the story ends. What became of the bride- groom on clae morrow, and whether he bolt ed in his shortened garment,S, or stayed and wore an older pair; is all left, to the imagination.
AN APRTL FOOL TRICK.
AN APRTL FOOL TRICK. It was on the evening of Llle last day of March, that, two voung men were seated in a comfortable apartment, it, the ——— Hotel, Manchester, with a bottle of champagne before them, and cigars in their mouths. "To-morrow is the first of April," spoke out Bob 1:> at, tength. "Yes," was the reply of his companion, whose name was Bill H-. "You know Old Kingley, that old wag of a den- tist on street; continued Bob. "Certainly," was the reply. Well, one year ago, to-morrow, he played a of a game on me." I Did he ? "Yes, and to-morrow I mean to be up to him for that same trick." J "How?" You see Lhis tooth?" lie replied, as lie stretched open his mouth to Lhe view of the other. Well, it is a false one, and to-morrow I'll go to him with my face bundled up, and tell him I have got a de- cayed tooth which I want extracted, and have him pull out this false one." "Ha, ha, ha burst out Bill, that will indeed be a good joke," So it was arranged that Bill should happen into the office at Kingley's the next morning at nine o'clock, that; he might see the sport, and that Bob should arrive in a shorb time, ready for the opera- tion. They then .took their departure from the hotel, each taking the nearest course for his lodg- ings. "Good morning, Mr. Kingley," was the saluta- tion of Bill H- the next morning after the con- versation alluded to above, as he entered thab individual's office. "Good morning take a seat," was the response. "I was passing by," continued Bill, "and thought I would give you a short call." Thus the conversation proceeded for a short time, when the door opened, and Bob made his appearance. His neck and face were done up in sundry neckcloths, &c., and, he gave a groan nt, every step. He hastily closed the door, and quiek iy diverting himself of the neckcloths, he threw himself into a chair, and exclaimed—" Dear doctor, for hea ven's sake pull this tooth as quickly as possible, for I I slept half an hour throughout the night, in conse- quence of its aching." b The doctor immediately took 11P his instrument —took up his position behind the chair and en- quired—" Which toot h ? Bob pointed to the false ono. The doctor who was fifty years old, and wore Spccbacies, gave a look at the tooth, and SEEING iti was sound, could not ab first conceive what .-h add cause it, to ache, and was about to speak, v, bona thought, struck hitn. IT was the first, of A pril I [0 gave another look at the tooth, and immediately perceived it, was a false one, and that; a trick wag being practised upon him. Now hold still, and be perfectly quiet," said the doctor. "I wid," was the reply, "but be as quick as possible. The doctor took his instrument, and clapping il; upon lile tooth next, the falso one, which UN* a. large double tooth, perfectly sound, he ga\EC,no tremendous jerk and it was out. With a yell of agony, Bob sprang to his feel, and screamed out— ".Murder! Doctor, you've pulled the wrong tooth!" "Oh, no," quietly replied the doctor, wiping his instruments, "the one you told 1110 to oMr.iol, I pulled out, some ben mouths ago, and I thought you wouldn't' want, one (.ool.h to go through sucji an ex- ceedingly painful operation twice." Bob seized his hat, and from that day he has had A natural horror of Dr. Kingley.
HE MET HIS MATCH.
HE MET HIS MATCH. A certain well-known railway contractor has the ( reputation of looking after the minor details of his great business with a keen eye. One morning, while out; inspecting Lhe work that was being done I on a railway, he picked up a stray bolt lying by the side of the line. Then he walked to where tho men were working on the road. "Look here," ho catted OUT TO ONE of THE work- MEN HOW IS IT THAT I FIND BOLTS LYING ABOUT WASTED ? I have to pay for these things, yon know." J Why, where did you get Chat, sirt E I foulld it a little way up the lille here," ( "Oh, did you?" cried the workman. "I'm much obliged to you, sir, I've been hunting for ] that bolt all the forenoon. I knew there was one missing The augusb contractor concluded that he could s give that workman no points on economy, and left in silence.
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THE SHOEMAKER AND THE SAINT.
THE SHOEMAKER AND THE SAINT. There lived in San Antonio, Texas, in the days when ib was more of a Mexican than an American city, an old shoemaker named Pedro Gomez. He was nob quite righb in his head. He was quite harmless, bub decidedly a little off. Ho was particularly peculiar on the subject of re- ligion, and spent hours on his knees in tho old cathedral of San Fernando, praying to a largo picture of [St. John tho Baptist, whom he per- sisted in addrossing as "colonel," poor Pedro Gomez havillg once been in the Mexican army, where lie received a wound in the head, which was the real cause of his dementia. His religious mania grew on him until ho almost became a fixture in front of that picture. Moreover, ho prayed in a loud voice, and mado such whimsical requests of his patron saint, who only woro a leathern girdle about his loins, that the other worshippers, who were really in earnest, were very much scandalised ab tho levity caused by such petitions as— "Oh, saint, colonel, Juan Bautisto, why do yon rput off getting me a fresh pair of pants to replace these shabby ones, which are almost] Worn out by me performing my orisons? Have you, too, gone back Oil me ? In a word, the old Mexican became a nuis- ance in tho church, which the sexton soughb to repress by telling him to go home and gob his dinner. "No, I will nob go!" exclaimed the old Mexican crank. "Cod is my faLher, and this is my father's house. I shall not leave it ab your suggestion. As for my dinner, my old friend and chum, Colonel John the Baptist, may share his locusts and wild honey with me." The sexton did not; care to use violence, 80 lie resorted to strategy. lIe concealed himself behind tho sacred pieturo, and when the sup- pliant; raised his voice, and requested thab Colonel St. John the Baptist should shower down on him a few tamales and chile con came for dinner, the sexton replied in a loud voice Scat go home, you old fraud, and stay there until you are sent for." Tho old Mexican was surprised and insulted, believing that the words really issued from the mouth of St. John. He arose to his feet;, threw llis tattered serape over his shoulders, bowed with Lruo Casfilian stateliiVess to the picture of the saint, and said with cutting sarcasm "So, Mr. Sb. John, thab is the way you breab a hidalgo and a faithful old friend like myself. No wonder you have no shoes to you feet, no clothes to your back, and call'b geb on ill the world, if you have no better manners than thab. Hereafter I'll worship ab some mora worthy shrine." And he strode oub of the church, into which he never afterwards could bo induced to poke his nose.
-----------,-------ROTHSCHILD'S^REVENGE.
ROTHSCHILD'S^REVENGE. An amusing adven-ture is related as having happened to the Bank of England, which had (committed tho unpardonable sin of refusing to discount a large bill drawn by Anselm Roths- child, of Frankfort, on Nathan Rothschild, of London. The bank had haughtily replied thab they discounted jjtheir own bills, and nob those of private persons. But they had to do with one stronger than the bank. "Private persons?" exclaimed Nathan when the fact was reported to him. I will mako these gentlemen see whab kind of private per- sons we are." Three weeks later Nathan Rothschild—who had employed the interval in gathering all the £ 5 notes he could procure in England and on tho Continent —presented himself ab the bank. He drew from his pocket-book a JM note, and they naturally counted out five sovereigns, ab siiiio time looking quite astonished that the Baron Rothschild should have personally troubled himself for such a triiie. The baron examined ono by one the coins and pub them into, a little canvas bag; then drawing oub another note—a third —a tenth—a hundredth ho never put the pieces of gold into the bag without scrupulously examining them and in souio instances trying thorn in the balance, as the law gave him the righl. to do. Tho first pocket-book being emptied and the first; bag full, lie passed them to his clerk, and received a second, aid thus continued till the bank closed. Tho baron had employed seven hours to change L:!I,OOO, but as he had also nine employe's of his house engaged in the same manner, it resulted that the house of Roths- child had drawn £ 21.0,000 in gold from tho Bank of England, and he had so occupied the tellers thab no other person could change a singIo note. Everything which bears the stamp of eccen- tricity has always pleased the English. They were, therefore, the first day very much amused aL the litLI" pique of Baron Rothschild. They laughed less when they saw him return the next day, at the opening of the bank, Hanked, by his nine clerks, and followed this time by drays to carry away the specie. They laughed not ab all whon tho king of bankers said with ironic simplicity "These gent,lemon have refused to pay my bills. ] have sworn not, to keep theirs. At their lei-uro — only I notify (hem that. I have enough to omploy [hem for two months — —" For two months "Eleven millions in gold drawn from tho Bank of England, which they had never possessed." The bank, so the story runs, took alarm. There was something to be done. Nexb morn- ing notice appeared in the journals thab hence- forth the bank would pay Rothschild's bills the same as their own.
NO SMOKING !~
NO SMOKING The Czar Nicholas was returning one morning from a visib to his daughter, when he observed i a young man smoking a cigar at the door of a hotel. Nicholas could not bear tho smell of tobacco, and he paused in his walk to address the smoker. You are a stranger, I suppose ? Yes, General," replied the traveller; "I arrived from Paris this morning." Then, perhaps, you are nob aware that it is forbidden to smoke in the streets of Sb. Peters- burg. I thought I had better warn you to pre- vent any unpleasantness." Thanks, General;" and the Parisian threw away his cigar. But if it was forbidden to smoke, it was also forbidden to talk to the Emperor. As soon as the latter was oub of sighb, a couple of police- men pounced upon our traveller and dragged him off to the station, where he remained in durance vile up to ten o'clock at night in the company of thieves and drunkards. When hia turn came to be examined, he gave a faithful II accounb of his adventure; how a General who was passing had advised him to throw away hia cigar, and that he had at once complied. "And didn'b you know who the General was?" "Certainty not The inspector at once ordered the French. man's release, and, fearing what; the conse- quences might bo if the Frenchman were to lodge a complaint at the embassy, Lhoughb ib advisable to explain to the Emperor whab had been dono. The Czar seemed annoyed. "Fetch mo the traveller," lie said I will express my regret in person for the annoyance I have been the means of causing him." When an officer in uniform presented himself at the hotel, the young man had visions of Siberia, and regretted that lie had ever wanted to visit tho empire of the north. His fears vanished when Nicholas explained the whole matter. Try to forget this liLtle unpleasantness," the C/ar added, and if you are spending some time in Russia, I shall be happy to prove to you liiat wo are not as savage as we look." "As your Majesty is eo kind," replied the Frenchman, I venture to make one requesb." What is it? "Next time you meeb me in the abreeb. don't speak to me."
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