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A Voice from the Fountain.

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A Voice from the Fountain. MR L. GORDON LENOX, J.P., AND HIS CANDID FRIENDS. INTERVIEWS WITH EMINENT PEOPLE. STRONG EXPRESSIONS OF OPINION. In consequence of the extraordinary at- titude adopted by the "Glamorgan Times" towards gentlemen who are members of the Pontypridd School Board, but who are not Welsh speaking Welsh Nationalists, we have felt it to be our duty to interview the most eminent people we could think of in order to ascertain their opinions as to the position of Mr Lenox and Mr McClune in regard to the question of the longevity of iheCambnnn /tongue. The first gentleman who was waited upon by our special correspondent was the Sultan of Turkey, who declared that Mr Lenox and Mr McClune could not possibly discharge their duties towards the ratepayers of Pon. typridd unless, or until, they had mastered the intricacies of the Welsh language. In proof of this assertion he pointed out that while Mr Samuel Evans, of Carnarvon, was, owing to his knowledge of the Welsh lan- guage, an exceedingly successful Pasha at Cairo, his other friend, Mr John Littlejohns, of Ferndale, was, owing to is being an En- glishman, fired by a consuming ambition to wrijte books of Tory fiction rather than be content to remain a Tory club manager and lecturer in the Principality of Wales. Asked if lie had read Mr Littlejohns' des- cription of the Tylorstown Congregational minister, the Sultan evasively replied that his librarian had neglected to turn the leaves down at that point, but that his attention had been called to the statesmanlike sugges- tipn made in the book that a law should be passed to prevent French onion men going to Ferndale. In reply to .further questions, the Sultan said he had not read the con- text, because he had had enough after read- ing that one sentence. He would have asked his friend Lord Salisbury what his opinion was about the book, had it not been for the fact that owing to the Armenian difficulty they had not been very friendly of late. The only thing he was certain of was that, in the words of the "Glamorgan Times," we have Englishmen on our Boards who, although capable and honest men, are not, and cannot be, as earnest in the retention of the old language as those who breathe their native air in wild Wales." Breathing was essential to success in any branch of life, and to enable a man to blow hot and cold with one mouth there was no air like that of Wild Wales, and there was no mutton like Welsh mutton. The Sultan then profoundly salaamed and retired. The next eminent man whom our ubi- quitous" reporter button-holed was Presi- dent Kruger, who was in the act of scanning the rough proof of our report of the St. David's Day dinner in Johannesberg. The President had a long clay pipe in his hand, one end of which—the pipe, not his hand-- was in his mouth. On being approached, the President spat on the ground by way of preparation for the. interview. When asked his opinion about the startling ar- ticle in the "Glamorgan Times," the Presi- dent again spat upon the ground and, after a moment's pause, truthfully declared, like an honest Boer, that he had not seen it. "Mr Lenox I know, and Mr McClune I have heard of," said the great man, but who in the editor of the 'Glamorgan Times' you speak of?" Our reporter replied that the editor of that wonderful paper was a dis- tinguished linguist who knew at least four languages, viz., those of Leeds, Bradford,1 Huddersfield, and Sheffield; who in his last week's issue "enclosed" a "fair sample of .• £ ,'HWr- ■»'. ■ ■ •' the style in which so-called Irish leaders address audiences in England," and who proved his capacity for criticising people who were ignorant of the Welsh language by giving in the same issue the following brand new quotation of an evergreen Welsh motto-" Rhyddid i bob barn, ac i bob barn ei lafar." The President promptly replied that he would draw the attention of the Boer Parliament to the absolute nece3s\y of securing the services of such an authority on languages for the purpose of acting as interpreter between him (President Kruge:) and Mr Chamberlain on his forthcoming visit to England. He was of the opinion that a man who could, in a Tory pape-, so lucidly prove that the coal trade was getting worse under a Tory Government, would be a most valuable assistant in rege- lating mining matters in the Transvaal. But first of all he would respectfully ask the great man to reform the London daily papers, and especially the "Times," a-g, ow- ing to the absence of a Welsh editor of un- doubted Tory proclivities, that paper was lamentably deficient in its local news and re- ports of smoking concerts in Buluwayo. "Then," continued the reporter, "what is your opinion about the qualifications of Mr Lenox and Mr McClune for seats on the Pontypridd School Board?" "Bother Mr Lenox and Mr McClune," replied the Presi- dent. Mr Joseph Chamberlain wa3 the next great man wnom our representative hunted up. The moment Mr Chambeiiain under- stood that he was about to be asked to ex- press an opinion upon the policy of the Pontypridd Tory paper, he declt red that ho was already sufficiently burdened with the cares of State, and hurriedly left his resi- dence by the back door in orde. to present himself in the House of Commons. What cared he for the fate of the Unionist mem- bers on the Pontypridd School Board, so long as he had two or three little wars in hand? Dr. Jameson did not care to express an opinion about anybody else's affairs, as hh own case was now sub judice."

TALK IN THE TRAIN.

CAERPHILLY CHEESE-BITS.

CREDITORS' MEETING AT PONTYPRIDD.

t PONTYPRIDD SCHOOL BOARD.…

THE HEAD MASTERSHIPS OF GRAIG…

THE ACCIDENT AT PWLLGWAUN.

THE TREASURER'S SALARY.

ANOTHER PRECEPT ISSUED.

PANIC AT FERNDALE.

MR TENNfSON SMITH AND HIS…

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