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TRAM CAR EPISODE SWANK." They were evidently part of a party who had been playing in a Chess match with Colwyn Bay, and were returning by tram. This fact, was gleaned' from their conver- sation when they first boarded the car. One of the party who up to this time had been seen and not, heard, suddenly joined in the conversation and referred to one of the absent, players as a "Swanker" and this opened a most interesting debate as to the real meaning of the word. One more conversant with the term than the rest, said it came from the word "Swankie"; which according to Webster, meant "An active and clever young fel- low." He, who had introduced the subject, admitted that it, meant all that and more, ,and further said there were the verbs, "Swank" and "Swanker/' the noun "Swankie" and the adjective "Swanking." At this point all the seven Chessites who composed the party startedto, argue at the same time, and a, deal of useful informa- tion was lost. One declateid the intro- ducer's grammar was at fault. Another said he had no objection to being called a "Swankie," if it was not said sarcastic, but he should strongly object to it being said he either was a swank, or went, in for swanking. He understood the term, "a swank," was one who was addicted to showing off, and swanking was the act of showing off." The introducer said H was permissabl0 for a ranker, a cyclist, or the past-master of any similar pastime to swank; indeed it was impossible to indulge in any par- ticular favourite pastime without doing so, but he added, "A footballer say OD the wing, full back or custodian in the goal, had no right to swank during a cup-tie or league game, and for this reason football was not a game that depended upon one player only; success was only obtained by a team being united, each helping the other to lower their opponents' citadel, not by in- dulging in anything like swanking; such players were looked upon as "playing to the gallery," and only such players were the equals of Meredith, Crompton or Ash- croft could afford to run the risk of rous- ing the public's displeasure, and whatever they may have done in their earlier days, these players mentioned rarely indulge nowadays." "Go on," said one of the listeners, "I am enjoying this." 0, I have little more to add; but take the case, of the cyclist who can ride with- out using the handle bars; by all means let him do it if he wantis, to, in an open space on a country road, but to show off in a crowded street is swank of the most objectionable kind, because, should any accident occur through his swanking, to anybody besides himself, he should be made amenable to the law." "Then am I to understand," said one seeker for further information "that we are all more or less liable to swank 1" "Yes, that is so. I don't know what your particulairl line would be; it cer- tainly is not, at chess, judging by to-night's failure, but you may be musical and play the piano, mouth organ or any other classical instrument, and if you play vy/er so little, you are bound to swank some time or other, and no one has a right to blame you for doing so. Anyone who has an accomplishment, whatever it may be, or had handed down to him a gift, has a, perfect right to use it, and to swank to his heart's content; or, should he be a vocalist, public speaker, or amateur musician, until such time as he or she, as the case may be, have had ocular proof that their reign in pablic favour is over." "Thanks! old man; I quite admit I am not a Lasker at chess, and further I am not, a rinker, cyclist, fothaller, vocalist, musician, or public speaker, and. as I said before, if I am guilty of swanking I cer- tainly don't know it." "Well, I will think about it and let you," was the reply. He had not long to wait, for by thi,s time Ctraigydon had been reached, and the non-swanker rose to leave the car. The conductor pulled at, the cord to draw the attention of the driver to pull up at the "Request Corner," but, the passenger essayed to leave the car whilst in motion, a feat he ha,d previously carried out with any untoward acci- 1, dent; but on this occasion he came a cropper, and fell down on his knees, badly damaging his nether garments. His fare was a study, when the conductor ,came up and inquired if he was hurt, and! asked why he did not wait, as the, notice requested until the car stopped. He was not hurt he said; but he looked very dis- hevelled. By this time one or two of his chess friends had left the car, also to make inquiries. The conductor seeing no harm was done moved towards the car, saying as he did so, "Are you going on with is gentlemen?" To which they replied by returning to the car. As they boarded the tram the conductor looked back at the cause of the prolonged stoppage, and said, "That's the result of swanking." No doubt he wondered at the roars of laughter which greeted his remark, and when next the unfortunate swanker meets his friend he will be able to tell him of one particular; in which he has been known to swank.