Welsh Newspapers

Search 15 million Welsh newspaper articles

Hide Articles List

8 articles on this Page

Jaxte an ndC5. .".........,....--..-.

News
Cite
Share

Jaxte an ndC5. Domestic pets-Matrimonial sulks. What is the national fishery question?" pompously exclaimed an orator and a squeaking voice in the audience responded It is, Have you got a bite. The clergyman in a certain town, as the custom is, having published the banns of matrimony between two persons, was followed by the clerk's reading the hymn beginning with these woids "Mistaken souls, who dream of heaven." "SPRING HANDICAPS."—Mrs Ramsbotham, on hear- ing these mentioned, immediately asked where they could be purchased, as they sounded like a most use- ful invention. -Piiiich. A rich contractor was holding forth upon the in- stability of the world. Can you account for it, sir ?" he asked turning to Foote. Well, not very clearly, he responded, "unless we suppose it was built by contract." A Duke of Richmond, it is said, had occasion to write to an American lady with regard to some paint- ing which that person had to dispose of. The Duke signed himself with the title of his double dukedom. The lady misunderstood his grace, and in reply ad- dressed her envelope to Messrs Richmond and Gor- don," commencing her epistle with" Gents." A FOLLOW."—Some years ago, at a public dinner, a Dutchman, just from Holland, was one of the com- pany and during the banquet he paid so much atten- tion to a roasted sucking-pig immediately in front of his plate that he devoured the entire animal. As he finished the last morsel, unctuous and savoury, a bustling waiter asked him what he would like to be helped to next. "Oh," replied the feeder, I'll dank you for von more of dem leetle hoks." THE IMPOSSIBLE.—A well-known German florist related, in a high state of irritation, his troubles in this way. He said -"I have so much drouble mit de ladies veu dey come to buy mine Rose dey vant him hardy, dey vants him doubles, dey vants him moontly, dey vants him fragrand, dey vants him nice gooler, dey vants him ebery dings in one Rose. I hopes I am not vat you calls von uncallant man, but I have somedimes to say to dat ladies, Madame, I never often sees dat ladies dat vas rich, dat vas good temper, dat vas youngs, dat vas clever, dat vas perfection in one ladies. I see her much not!" TEN Porous SAVED.—Mr Holmes, hurrying along the road to catch a train, hails farmer Jones, who passes him in a gig, and asked him to give him a lift. Farmer Jones readily consents, and for a time all goes on well. But the horse is frisky, and after shying at several objects in the road, it at last sets off at a gallop, which looks rather like running away. Mr Holmes is nervous and delicate, and does not care about horses under any circumstances. "I say, Jones,' he says at last, "I'd give ten pounds to be out of this!" "Hold yer tongue, man," replies Jones. Ye'll be out for nothing in less than a minute." A prediction which proved true. THE WIFE AND THE WIFE'S SI",TFR.- A story appears in the papers that a wife who lay on her death- bed, in one of the Western States, was very anxious, on account of her children, that her husband should marry her sister. Having obtained the consent of the parties to this arrangement, she next entreated that, in order to satisfy her mind, they would go through the ceremony at once. To soothe her dying moments, the prospective widower and his about-to-be-deceased wife's sister were married in her presence. The gratification of her wishes had so favourable an influ- ence on the condition of the wife as to arrest the course of her malady. She began rapidly to get well, and the first use she made of her recovered strength was to turn the sister out of the home, bag and baggage.

LONDON GOSSIP.

Jfront the papers. j ^ s i

voctrl). <

SMsti Jitttiqititics.

NOTES.

lEitcrittttvc. -----

Advertising