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The great secret in life is not to open your letters for a month. At the end of that time you 11 find they've answered themselves. Cadburt's Cocoa.—" Of fsM strength of a bigaiy economical nature, J we from added starch and sugar.' -Health. [78 "Men call us cruel, the tomcat sang, as he perched cn the garden gatf, because we not only kill our piey, but frequently mew-till.late." Druggist—"There you are, sir. Two shillings/' Customer—"Excuse me, but I'm in the trade." Druggist-" On, i beg pardon. Sixpence." A little fellow, on going for the first time to church where the pews were very high, was asked on coining out what he did in churcn. when he replied, "I went iuto a cupboard, and took a seat on a, shtlf," Mrs Darley—"I really must have a new gown, Frank." Mr. Darley—What,: Why you got a new one ouly two weeks ago." Mrs. D,¡rleY-"YEs, I know but the cook has taken a fancy to that one." A licensed victualler having started business in a place where trunks had been wade, asked a friend what be hall better <10 with the old sign, "Trunk Factory," Oh, said the friend, "jnst change the T to D, and it will suit you exactly." "Did you find what you wanted, dear?" one lady was overheard to ask another. Yes," was the reply; "they bad it in seven different shops." Let me see it," said the first lady, Oh. I didn't bay it was the reply. Mr. Goodman-"I want to buy a nice toy pistol for "my little boy. Something handsome but not dangerous you know." Mr. Binks—" Here's the exac^ thing you're after, sir. A French duelling pistol—-very pretty aDd perfectly harmless." Two friends meeting, one remarked, "I have just met a man who told me I looked like you." Tell me who it was. that I may knock him down," replied his friend. ''Don't trouble yourself, said he, "I did th-it myself immediately." Anarcharsis having been informed by Solon that he was employed in drawing up a code of laws for the government of the Athenians, deiided his occupation, s'\ying-" Law3 are spider webs, which catch the liltle flies, but cannot hold the big ones." There are two periods of my life which I look upon as epochs,' said an old gentleman "one was when I began to examine my upper lip to see the hair coming, and the other was when I began to examine the lop of my head to see the hair goiu^ A beautiful woman who wore on her bosom a miuature likeness of her husband, who was the reverse of handsome, asked the poet Moore "whom he thought the portrait resembled?""—"I think," said the poet, "it iJ like the Saracen's head on Snow hilI." Pimples, Blotches, Eczema.—Sulpholiue Lotion drives away Eruptions, Spots, Blotches, Redness, Eczema, Acne, Disfigurements, RouÜmess and Scurf, leaving a ciear, spotless Skin. Shilling Bottles of Sulphulice. £ very where. [ Louis XIV, joking the Duke of Vivonne on his excessive stoutness, in the presence of the Duke d'Anmont who was equally fat, remonstrated with hiw on bis not taking sufficient exercise-" \Vhc- ever has told your Majesty that I do not," he replied, has not w1d the trath; for there is not a day that I do not go at least three times round my Cosrsin d' Aumont." This story is told of a seven year old cynic at a juvenile party. He kept aloof from the fest of the company, and the lady ot the house called to him, saying, "Came and play and dance, my dear. Choose one of those pretty girls for your wife." "Not likely," cried the young cynic. No wife for me, Do you think I want to be worried out of my life like poor papi ? The dramatic editor of a French paper had occasion to criticise severely the performance of a somewhat popular actress. Shortly afterwards the lover of the young lady met the journalist in the theatre, and presented him with a packet of goose quills. "This, sir," said he, "is a present from Miss X." "What I" exclaimed the critic, "did she tear all these out of you herself ? How you must have suffered A Gascon having been challenged to fight a duel, purposely went to the appointed spot, which was frequently used for such encounters, long before th., hour of meeting, and finding the bodies of a couple of duellists who had killed each other, sat down upon them, and so quietly awa.ted his antagonist. The latter on, coming up, saw the G.iscoii sitting on the two dead bodies, and asked him what it mea'it. "It is only," replied the G,lSCOIi "that whilst I was waitIng fUf you I amused myself with running through the two gentlemen you see here." The other thought it as well to make terms with so formidable a fighter, and the due! did not come eff, much to the satis- facr.ion of the Gascnn. Have yuc tried "Montsebkat" Pcke Lime-Fruit Juice with aerated waters, or water, as a cooling and refreshing beverage at all seasons ? If not, try it. Obtainable from Druggists and Grocers. Cheaper than lemons and much more convenient. Order Moxtserrat, and do not take any inferior brands. Moxts'-Kkkat is nlaJe from cultivated limes. [2023 Agent of Concert Company-" I see you have a new janitor for your concert hall. What has become of the old one?" Manager of Concert Hall-" We thought his mind was giving way and we suspended him." Asent of C. C. —" Developed evidences of insanity:" M. of C. H.—" We thought so. He had to open the windows one night during a concert, the temperature of the hall being a liitie too high. Instead of opening them dunng the tenderest and softest part of the violin- ist's solo, when every sound but the delicious strain was hushed, he waited until the number was finished and the ncise made in opening them disturbed iu body. We at once suspected that his mmd was going, and thinking he was a. dangerous man to have around we gut rid of him." Phovehbs.—Badaga, one of the Indian tongues —"It' anyone offers you a buffalo, do not ask if she gives milk." May lay H, A burnt child dreads the fire Hindi version, "He whose father was killed by a bear is afraid of a black stump." Tamil, "You may decorate an ass, but that will not make it a horse;" "A donkey may grow, but be will never be an elephant: The temple cat does not fear the idol." Malayli, "Running up and down the boat does not bring one sooner to land." What is the use of reading the edas to a wild buffalo r" The tears of the oppn.:s3ed are sharp swords," and The flower out of reach is dedicated to God." The ant, measured by its own hand, is eight i-panslong," and "A black cow may give white milk." Servian, "Speak the truth, but come away quickly after," and '• When an old dog barks, then see what the matter is," and" The sun goes over unclean pi cesbut it is not defiled." Measure your cloth ten times, for you can only cut it once. "A fool can cast a srone into the sea, but a hundred wise men cannot get it out." If you knew where yon would fall, YOll could put down stp w." With God go over the sea without God cross not the threshold." A lllorhe1:¡ prayer saves from the depths of the sea. "Fear not the rich man's frown; fear the beggar's tears." "Love me when I m hlack; when lain white everyone will love me." We cannct go to the church for mud, but we may get to the tavern.' No need to phmt fools; they grow of themselves." "Ask a p;g to dinner, and she will put her feet on the ttble," General complaint is made of the indiaestibility of the ordinary cocoas uf commerce, it having bet"1l lately shown by the medical profession that the alkalies too often used by the foreign manufacturers, combined with tile fatty matters, form a soapy result whieh is most deleterious to health. In the case of cocoas made with care, such as Messrs Cadbury's, these objections do not exist.— Whitehall Review. [72

THE DISSOLUTION. f——————

THE POLITICAL CAMPAIGN! IX…

WHAT THE CONSERVATIVES ARE…

THE CONSERVATIVES AT THE ALBERT…

SIR JOHN LLEWELYN AT PORT…

-A SLEEP SONG.I ----.--,------

---A DEBUT.

ANOTHEK ENTHUSIASTIC LIBERAL…

GOWER.

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