The Montgomery County Times and Shropshire and Mid-Wales Advertiser

SOCIETY NOTES AND PERSONAL PALLS. FROM THE SKKTCH." Much lias been written of ladies' pockets. They have often been abused for being placed in such positions that they offer the strongest temptation to a purloiner. On the other hand, what married man has not been puzzled to obey his wife's behests when she has asked him to get something or other from the pocket of her dress? Even tiie actual owners of these mysteries are hard put to it sometimes to find scent-bottle or purse. 1 heard a lady who, arrayed in a new frock, took a hansom the other day, and, on alighting, hunted vainly lor the entrance to the pocket, where she had confidingly placed her purse. The quest was so unduly prolonged that at last ner charioteer, who, 1 am afraid, was not a man of refinement, remarked from his perch, "Now, then, Mann, when yuun; quite done a-scratchin' of your back, will you pay me my fare?" It is hard when the wife of one's bosom objects to one's upper lip—indeed, the objection seems to savour of caprice, for surely when a fiancee the lady, unless a veritable Ice Maiden," must have had an opportunity of becoming intimately ac- quainted with it. Yet, in a recent divorce suit, not only was it stated bv the husband that thus was the case, but the poor genthnean s better half seems to have been distressed at the h's which were dropped by the lip in question. She also disliked the way in which her husband's hair was cut by the barber he patronised, and objected to the shape of his feet, though there was no evidelle that he imprinted their shape upon her person as a sort of stamp duty. Then there stem to have been disagreements on theology and divergences of opinion on the merits of the Sunday sermon. If Mr. Frederick Townsliend s objectionable feet carried him to the house of some other lady, by whom his lip, his curls, and his theology were more appre- ciated than they were at home, it seems hardly to be wondered at. A feminine "tiger" is a novelty. By-the-way, [ don't mean the great striped cat of India—they have several lady tigers there. I mean the smart and tiny servant whose duty it is to stand behind the once fashionable cabriolet, drawn by a high- stepping horse. The other day a cab drawn by a real "Park-pacing" horse, and driven by a well- dressed man, was seen in the Park, and behind the vehicle stood a neatly-dressed handmaiden. "VN hether it was an eccentricity on the part of the owner, and the result of a wager, I cannot say, for I have been unable to discover. A feminine coachman has elso been on.? of the sights of the Park several times this season. This workmanlike charioteer is Lady James Douglas who haudles the ribbons and keeps her team as well in hand as she feathers an oar, rides a horse, or shoots a pheasant, and to say this is to say that she does so uncommonly well. The Rev. Thomas Mozlev had attained his seventy-sixth year before he was brought prouiineiitly before the public by his entertaining work, Remi- niscences of Oriel." His sireat talents, however, had then been known to a limited circle for nearly haif a century, lie was a most brilliant writer, and his versatility was something wonderful. Mr. Mozley was as great a master of the ^English language as his brother-in-law, Cardinal Newman. He had a. very terse and epigrammatic style, with a graphic power and faculty of conveying much matter in a few words. His table-talk was excellent. Mr. Mozley was for many years one of the principal leader-writers of the Times," under Delane, in the really great days of that journal. His colleague was the late Alexander Knox, and, at that period, these three men really were the "Times." Delane directed the policy of the paper, and selected the subjects for the leaders, the most imP°rt:illJ of which were nearly always vyritten either by 1,nox or by Mozley. Mr. Mozlev was the intÍInate fnpnd and 'constant associate of the leaders of the Oxford movement, and some of his best literary work 13 to lie found in the volumes of their organ, tiie "British Critic," of which he was editor about fifty years ago. Mr. Mozley gave a general support to the movement, but he was bv no means in full sympathy with it. At one time he would ia-\ e gone over to the Church of Rome if Newman aad liffpd his finger, and there, is a profoundly interesting account of this critical perl0d, career in liis "Reminiscences." His younger tuo.m 1, the Rev. J. B. Mozley, who was appointed Gladstone to the Regius Chair of Divinity at miorc: will be remembered as one of the greatest «■ of the Anglican Church, and his ^wwks Sermons and other publications are standa Mr. Mozlev passed the last twelve years or n_ at Cheltenham, where lie was always »l0re U1 engaged in literary work. The experience of the unfortunates whojxwked the other day for a Norwegian cruise by tne yacht La Plata" should be studied by all those w ho propose to go down to the sea in ships managed on tV jo^t.Av :nn'h1:Y' rw.;ri„ The T.n 11)ta. was advertised to sail for a fortnight s cruise on the Norwegian coast, and upwards of fifty passengers booked and paid their fares. On arriving at Southampton, the passengers found that she had been stopped by the Board of Trade that they had to pass the night at hotels, minus their luggage. They were subsequently informed that their passage- money would be refunded on application at No. 2, Fenchurch-st., but those who applied there were simply laughed at. Judging by the particulars obtainable at Somerset House concerning the Clubs Yachting Association. Limited," there is very little chance of their seeing their money again. There are, doubtless, plenty of desirable yachting excursions being conducted at the present time, but there are also some which are quite the reverse, and I advise the public before paying their money to ascertain carefully to whom they are paying it. Canon Fleming is Vicar of St. Michael's, Chester- sq., Canon Residentiary of York Minster, Chaplain in Ordinary to the Queen Domestic Chaplain to the Duke of Westminster, and editor of a theological magazine. He, however, cloes not find these duties sufficiently engrossing, so he has become a director of a limited liability company, which is being oromoted to take over the business of the vendor of a certain patent medicine. The present is certainly a most unseasonable period for a dignitary of the Church to accept any such position, and Canon Fleming cannot allege the excuse of inadequate means, for his various preferments bring him in quite £ 2,000 a year. j; advise this enterprising divine to withdraw at once from the position which he has been so foolish as to assume. There are repinings over the small number of Firthday Honours distributed this year. As a matter of fact, her Majesty herself cut down the list submitted to her by about one-third. All those Radicals, therefore, who aspired to be Peers, Baronets, or Knights, may lav the flattering unction to their souls that they "werè on the list. Anyone wishing for an ornamental prefix to his name would do well to adopt the Torv persuasion, for probably Lorcl Salisbury's list has' a far greater chance of passing in full than that of a Liberal leader. In too many places, I fear, the Royal Wedding is proving a source of discord and strife, and being made an occasion for jobbery and favouritism. All sorts of squabbles have arisen in hitherto peaceful communities. There is a lack of harmony even in the Royal Borough of Windsor. One of the mem- iers of the Wedding Committee there is Mr. Councillor Dyson. the head of a firm of jewellers. Considering the very active part which this gentle- !an has taken in the arrangements, his fellow tradesmen thought that he would not tender for the o-'ft \t t!le plate which is to form the town's gi t. Mr. Dyson did tender, however, and, what is more, the Committee accepted his tender. The ier local silversmiths assert that not only did Mr. \son possess an unfair advantage over them owing 11'formation which he obtained as a Committee- out that his estimate was higher in amount tW* +TV('r;11 °* rejected tenders. It seems to me r have good cause to complain of the action le Committee, if not of that of Mr. Dyson. To those unconnected with the Admiralty, and nlw-a ^le mysteries of naval science, it has ys seemed a very foolish thing to build ps, abounding in complicated machinery that at -+foment might go wrong, and. to the nn- u ,e.ve °f the landsman, obviously top-heavy. with armament, nearly a million sfiii-11 1' aild,m a naval encounter would all probably J either ramming each other or by being nmed by smaller and swifter vessels. This common-sense view has been proved to be correct the disaster that has liefallen the Victoria. .other monster struck this ship accidentally, and, .vnig turned bottom upwards, she sank. At manoeuvres ships are not intended to eollide-in a tattle they are. If, then, they collide during noeuvreg, what is to be expected at a battle? wil? + least I trust this terrible disaster teach us: to give up building these monsters, nch are really nothing but death-traps. It seems pretty clear that if one of them is rammed it will § the bottom: and can any sane human being ou t that it would be rammed if engaged in a naval battle? seldom happens that plaintiff and defendant re both of opinion that a verdict is a proper one. f m*rr' !lowever, assume that this is the view o r>ir dliam Cayley Worsley in his action for libel against Truth," this remarkable consensus of opinion exists between him and me. I do not exactly know where Hovingham is. But after reading a letter in the "Yorkshire Chronicle, written by the Rev. J. Charles Fox, detailing the persecutions the Vicar of Hovingham was endur- ing on account of die soundness of his political views, and after having, as I thought, made cer- ^ln that the Reverend Cox was right, I took up the cudgels for my brother Radical, and protested against Sir William Woraley, the squire of the parish, driving this good man into exile. When, however, Sir William went into the box, it be- canfe clear that facts had been very much exagger- ated, and that Sir William had not driven Mr. 1^2- m th* parish. This being so. my coun- sel, Mr. I*»ckwood, accepted Sir William's evi- dence. and the Chief Justice Laving decided that 1:150 would be a wooer solatium for the troubla to which the squire had been put. a verdict for that amount was given. It seems to me that the parties who have best reason to congratulate thpm- selves 011 the whole affair are our respective lawyers. A Kentish newspaper reports a case respecting Which there seems to be some little mystery. A man, "said to be a gentleman." was charged in the Ramsgate magistrates' private room with being drunk and disorderly, and although he was sentenced to a month's imprisonment, his name was not allowed to transpire. Why this secrecy? The defendant, it is true, had torn up his clothes in the cells, but surely he did not lose his identity in becoming undressed At the funeral of a soldier at a Punjaub station last month, the officiating chaplain, after keeping the mourners waiting some time in the cemetery, drove on to the seene arrayed in flannels and brown sandals, as though lie had come to a tennis match. He then veiled these garments with a surplice, aud the ceremony proceeded. I suppose it is of no con- sequence what garments a clergyman wears under his surplice or cassock, or. indeed, whether lie wears any at all. Do any of the decisions of the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council Oil the vestments question deal with this "delicate point of ritual? If rot, I certainly think that, in India, given a surplice and cassock, a priest might be allowed to dispense with further clothing. There can be no excuse, however, for admitting his flock into these secrets of his wardrobe: and I can quite understand that in the above case the flock regarded the pastor's conduct as indecent.

ROYAL HOSTS, The Prince and Princess of Wales, says a writer in "Woman," while being the cause of much liospitalitv. are themselves hospitable, the Inncess being a most accomplished and assiduous hostess consulting in the smallest detail the comfort of her guests, and making it her constant endeavour that the wremoiial shall be as little irk^me as possible, and that no one for a moment shall fee dull or bored. Hospitable, indeed, are the Royal host and hostess. Four substantial meals a day are always provided, five o clock tea, lnsteau of consisting of tea and bread and butter only, form- ing a good square meal,' including ham and sandwiches, pates de foie gras, hot c-Akes, and many other dainties Few, certainly, are the -Tuest.s invited to stay at Marlborough House tins form of entertaining being reserved for Sandnng- ham; but even to this rule there are exceptions, a notable one being the Hon" Julie Stonor now Marquise d'Hautepoule, who, 111 the days of lier Girlhood," lias been known to spend days and even weeks as a welcome guest in the London home of the Princess of Wales. Needless to say., tin re are many excellent persons whose one ambition is to secure an invitation to Marlborough House, and with this view they plot- and plan with much ingenuity and patience., often making the life of Si; Francis Knollys a burden to him. AX AMERICAN ON "THE BRITISH CAD." The British Cad Abroad" is the subject of a plain-spoken article in the "New York Tribune." Generally speaking (says our critic) the travelling cad belongs to the middle classes, although 1 am forced to admit that I have met quite a number of his kind who tore names that figure in the pages of Burke. The manifestations of his caddishness are prompted in a great measure by patriotism of an acmrosivn; and offensive type, which involves con- tempt for everything that does not happen to be Encrlish. The result of all this is that no people are "more justly abhorred abroad than the ordinary Briton on his travels; and even the well-bred Englishman seeks by every means in his power to g-et out of the way of this greatest of all abomina- tions—tlie tourist cad. From the very ni'-nu-iit that he leaves Endaml and sets foot on a foreign she're, the cad apparently casts to. the winds all sense of decency and consideration for the feelings of those with whom lie is brought in contact. I11. London, for instance, no man who respects himself would venture to appear, even in the minor London theatres, otherwise than in evening dress. Indeed, in most of such places of entertainment, evening dress is de rigueur; and yet one will find these very same people seated in the orchestra stalls of the Paris or Vienna Grand Opera, where every man around them is in evening dress, they alone being garbed in some hideous mustard-coloured morning coat or tweed Norfolk jacket—sometimes, too, in flannel shirts, knickerbockers, and hob-nailed boots. Englishmen, and I may add Englishwomen, of the cad species do not seem to have the slightest con- sideration for thpir surroundings when abroad in the matter of dress. Another form of caddislmess on the part- of the travelling Briton is the brutality and unvarnished character of his criticism of every- thing and everybody that he sees after leaving home. He ridicules the language, he ridicules the accent, the appearance, the manners, and the dress of all those whom he encounters abroad—not quietly and unobtrusively, but in the most offensive and public wav,without the slightest idea of concealment. If he meets an American he is quite as ready as not to inform him that he speaks English with a nasal twang, totallv oblivious of his own vulgar cockney accent: while to the German lie will expatiate on the alleged lack of cleanliness of the Teutonic race. To llii; Frenchman he will address lie considers to be delicate banter on the traditional fondness of the Gallic race for frogs and snails; while if he is fortu- nate enough to find himself in the company of some Catholic clergyman or Sisters of Mercy, he will, out of sheer" cussedness," begin to bellow forth in an exceedingly false key Charles Lever's well-known dittv, beginning: "The Pope. he leads a merry life." I have met the British cad travelling in India, where lie distinguishes himself by refusing to con- form with the local prejudices and customs of the highly civilised natives, whom lie amiably refers to even in their faces as "niggers;" and in Japan, where he does not hesitate to tramp with his muddy boots over the dainty mats on which the natives both sleep and eat. I have known one of them to (heerfully volunteer to a high-bred and courteous Japanese nobleman who, in an ill-advised moment, had been induced to entertain him, the informa- tion that he was "astounded by the lack of morality nnd propriety of the women of the Land of the Rising Sun. A STARTLING PASSION PLAY. In his work, Where Three Empires Meet (Longmans and Co.), Mr. E. F. Knight tells how at the Buddhist monastery of llimis in Eastern Lidakh lie witnessed a most extraordinary kind of passion-play, in which the ceaseless conflict hs- twien the good and evil principles in nature :s ex- hibited by living actors dressed so as to resemble the denizens of another world. He mentions various phrases of the ceremony, and proceeds— The soltmn chanting ceased, and then rushed on the scene a crowd of wan shapes, almost naked, w ith but a few dark rags about them, which they sometimes held up by the corners, veiling their faces, and sometimes gathered together around them, as if the- were shivering with cold. They wrung their hands despairingly, and rushed about in a confused way, as if lost, starting from each other as if in terror when they met, sometimes feeling about them with their outstretched hands like blind men, and all the while whistling in long-drawn notes, which rose and fell like a strong wind on the. hills, producing an indescribably dreary effect. These, I was told, represented the unfortunate souls of dead men which had been lost in space, and were vainly seeking their proper sphere, through the darkness. On seeing these poor shadows some lines I had read were vividly re- called to my mind. They run, so far as I remem- ber. thus— Somewhere, in desolate, wind-swept space, In Shadow-land, in N o-Man's-land, Two hurrying forms met face to face, And bade each other stand. '"And who art thou?" asked one, agape, Shuddering in the faded light. "I know not." cried the other shape; "I only died last night. The sudden onrushing of these wildly-whistling shapes occurred at frequent intervals during the ceremony. The change from one phase of this curious mummery to another was always startlinglv abrupt. One never knew when some peaceful anthem and stately dance of holy figures would lie suddenly interrupted by the dashing discord of cymbals and trumpets and the whirling torrent of shrieking fiends. For a time the Spirits of Evil ruled supreme in the arena. The variously masked figures flocked in, troop after troop—oxen- headed and serpent-headed devils; three-eyed monsters with projecting fangs, their heads crowned with tiaras of human skulls; lamas painted and masked, to represent skeletons; dragon-faced fiends, naked save for tiger-skins about their loins; and many others. Sometimes they ap- peared to be taunting and terrifying the stray souls of men—grim shajies who fled hither and thither among th-ir tomentors. waving their arms and wailing miserably, souls who had not obtained Nirvana, and yet who had no incarnation. demons went through complicated evolutions—their dancing occasionally being like what a Eurojiean ballet step would be if performed to extremely slow time and very clumsily—accompanied 0; mys- tical rhythmical motions of hands and lingers. There were solo dances, too, while the other demons stood round beating gongs, clashing cym- bals. and clapping hands. Then the demons were repelled again by holy men; but no sooner did these last exorcise one hideous band than other crowds came shrieking on. It was a. hopeless con- flict. At one period of the ceremony, a holy man with an Archbishop's mitre on his head advanced, to the beautiful chanting of men and boys, the basses trebles, and tenors taking sucx-essive parts in solo and chorus. On listening with shut eyes one could well imagine oneself to be in a Christian cathedral. This holy man blessed a goblet of water bv laying his hands on it and intoning gome prayer or charm. Then he sprinkled the water in all directions, and the defeated demons stayed their shrieking, dancing, and infernal music, and gradually crept out of the arena, and no sound was heard for a time but the swpet singing of the holy choir. But the power of the exorcism was evanescent, for the routed soon returned in howling ahoali, and then lamas and spirits ap- peared to be contending with rival majnr.^ chief charm r II His wite." One hears people talking of baTinfl changed their minds, and yet few are able to mind their Take away woman" say# a writer, what would follow t" We would," Mid the reader* promptly,

THE CHILDREN'S HOUR AND ORDER OF THE ROUND TABLE. VING APPRECIATION.—HONKSTLT EARNED. A SCHOOL FOR LITTLE AUTHORS.—Story LESSONS. ■ AN IMPRESSION LEFT—A WEK BIT HOCSIK IN THE MOUNTAIN'S SHADOW.—BOKROWF.d^COL<U iung DAMB NATURE and HI-11 CHILDBKN.—WHY ^Sthaw- BKKKIKS ARE RED—A Frkk Bueakfast IN CAT'S CLAWS.—LITTLE ^jk NMHTINOALH. PEBFOKMANCE—A SI'LENDID DINNKU— MEMORABLE WINDOWS—UNLIMITRD PIUZK>. A GOOD OFPOKTLNITY—Vows IN HHYME.—A DAMSELS PHOPOSAL. A PAT ON THE BACK. Do you know how very nice it is to have some kind older person put his hand on your head and sav, "Well done, little maid:" or "Well clone, my boy!" as the case may be, after you have ,ieen working very hard to do something iou ^«a\v needed to be done? That sentence hardly needs to be written and printed interrogatively, because L know the answer to it before any of you open lips to reply. We all. big as well as little people, like to have a pat on the (jack, and a few v.uri.s of loving appreciation, even although we have been trving to work from a higher motive, so of course I know just how you all feel about it. Such words warm up one's heart, and send one along rejoicing, I know vou find it so. This feeling is only wrong when wè work from 110 higher motive than to be patted on the back. It will never do for us to work for this reason alone. 1 hope you have all had. not one onlv, but many nice pats on tne back, and honestlv earned them. too. If go. you will be able to sympathise with mo. for 1 have uist had a pat from Grannie, who sits in the oh mine»- corner, and keeps a Schoo! v -r Hti* 8uch as many a maga/.ine 1'ditur r:rep* ';ll? Authors. Some of my littie rr.11.ers »o 'at school, and learn some plea.-ant >'1' "')'J" Grannie's pat on my back i- a htti*\ apuveemtne liot-.ee of what I tried to do ior aa v --u >n"" = folks when I wrote the nook of story "(,1,1.- ■IX THE WORLD'S GARDEN She says:—"Not manv writers have tiie uJilnv to teach loftv truths in beautiful du-.Ae language. Yti* it s conspicuous of the books written bv Aunt t:r\ rruinaiy authors may succeed in preparing tood ior up- grown men and women but it takes somet-iing more than short paragraphs and pictures to satisly the stomachs of children. And this something more is to be foimd in -Storv-Iessons for Little Folks. We often hear cooks say how much it takes them to prepare such and such a dish and we all know that it is not strength of body tney mean, uit vital energy. It is just the same with amliois wiio put their soul into their words. Tieart sympony is the key-note all must tnk"-a1)fl in the very first sentence, too—who wish to lead captive the affec- tions of the little ones and Aunt Maggie ila certainly struck this key-note, carried it forward also into a beautiful song, full 01 tenderness and instruction. There is the peculiar majesty of simplicity in everv chapter. The type is ciear and large; and. though there are no engravings, the Iwok throughout is a chain of brignt thoughts and word-pictures, drawn with the pen and 1;\k 01 an artist. Those who are habitual readers will understand me when I say that most books leave behind them a stamped impression peculiarly Lieu- own; and the impression left on m, mind alter a perusal of 'In the Worlds Garden was that of a calm and hallowed Sabbah with a loved friend among fields and gardens fibed with dowers. Those who wish t > direct the thon-.ts dieir children gentlv and lovingly to tout alace ot Wonders, to which the worlds garden become an p.nsrcl-guarded pathway, can place 111 tiieir hands no better book than this. THE AULD WIFE AND THE ALer this, I think I must give you one of the story lessons, and Itt you for yoursel\ es There was once a wee bit housie that stood CIORE by a 'oisv little bum whose shallow stream pin aionrr bv the foot of a high mountain. Hey. but it was tine to see the sides of that mountain when the heather was in bloom, and it stood like a giant clothed in royal purple. The mountain reared its head to the clouds, and saw only the serene glop- of the high heaven; but its reflection fell :1", •■illy little bum. which fancied itself as royal as the mountain tecause its waters took all the same purple hue. The foolish little stream babbleu oi its own 'rreatnes- to the pebbles that formed its own oed; it tossed its ripples to the moon, it prattled to the stars: but moon, stars, and pebbles held their peace, for they knew jusi how much, or how little, the burnio had to boast of in reality. An auld wife lived in the wee bit housie. She was a wise woman that is, her neighbours believed her to be wiser than We may not think so much of her wisdom when we hear what she did. It was her custom to listen to nature's many voices until their meaning formed itself in her heart. She knew what the birds said to each other: what the wind told the blossom- when it mad" them bend thei; heads: the loaves nuiruiv.rod as tlioy xusde5 on the trees; so. of cninsp ,111> heard the prattle of the burn, and understood, its boastful language. "You think yourself royal, do you. just because you happen to lie at the foot of a mountain, so that the shadow of its beauty can fall upon you? I'll show you how much ltorrowed colouring is worth." She took a brand from her fire and set light to the beautiful, ldt,omj1! heather which cloth:.o the T11011ntai side, and ill :1 short tinw the burnie reflected nothing hl1t black charred stumps mid ashes. The burnie knew 110 difference, hut clattered over its pebbles as noisily a.s ever. But the royal mantle that had covered the mountain was ruined. The auld wife saw her mistake when it was too late, and wished she had considered the shallownpss of th0 burn before robbing the moun- tain. DAME NATURE AND THE STIiAWBEERY. Such a careful, wise: old lady is Dame Nature. No mother ever takes mo-e care of her children than she loes. I could chat and chat for hours, and then never tell you half of the skilful arrangements she makes for the wellbeing of her nurselings. You might fall asleep, however, if I told you too much at once, so just now J. will confine myself to one litt- wonder story, and tell you why she made strawberries so red, and juicy, and luscious. It was not that you might have pleasure in fating it, so do not flatter yourselves that it was. When [he. trawberry blossom fades and dies. Dame Nature likes to make sure that it will come back again, ■in L this it can only do through the seed left, behind For fear of accidents each blossom 'leaves many seeds. I daresay you have noticed the little green bodies embedded in the succulent mass of the fruit, "nd have called them seeds. They are not see,.]s, properly speaking, but only the vessels that hold the teeds. Now Dame Nature means these to be scattered far and wide, and no one can do tiiis so well as the birds. Her way of calling the birds to do what she wants them to do, is to offer ihein something so very tempting that thev will be attracted to do her bidding. So she caused the juicy red mass, which you call a strawberry, to RTOW at the top of the flower stalk. She onPers the birds a free breakfast on condition that they scatter the strawberry-seeds to make sure of some of them growing. And this is the whole secret of the matter. IN PUSSY'S CLAWS. A cat- once caught a nightingale, and as she held him 111 her claws she nurred into his ear some such words as these:—"Dear Sir Nightingale, I have heard so much about vour wonderful "gift" of song that I should like PTe.atly to hear a specimen of it. My friend, the fox. tells me your voice cannot be surpassed for melocb". and that' everybody who hears it is entranced. Just pipe up a little and 1 vow by my ears and whiskers, if what people say is true, you shall go scot free. I am uncom- moniy fond of music, and often purr myself to sleep. Poor Sir Nightingale, ouivering from crown to claw, scarce dared to breathe, much less sing. Lome. come, cried the cat. "let me have a song, or else —. The blank was expressive, and the nightingale, in mortal terror, did his best to oblige Mrs. Pussy, but could only utter a verv unmusical note. GW gracious!" exclaimed the cat. "is tha,t all you can do? I'll back anv one of mv own kittens against you. As I have proved vou such a dunce at singing. I'll try how you taste." She ate up the singer, and does not think much of nightin- gales to this day. Silly cat' Yes, and silly people who expect to get a song, even from a nightingale, when cat s claws are upon it. ANECDOTES BY MEMBERS, I have rollie nog called Lion. If a piece of meat be laid on the trround, and I say it is in trust, 1.1011 will not touch it until I say it is paid NI 1S°i ? place some meat on his nose, he will only drop it and eat it when I have counted UN to ten. If I tell him to lie down drunk, he will roll over on his side in imitation of being drunk, a.nd no matter what I say to him he will not get up till I say the policeman is coming.—Frank Ratoliffe, Esq. R.T. Charles XI., attended by his court, had been hunting in the neighbourhood of Carcassone. After the stag had been taken, a gentleman invited the Kmg to a splendid dinner which he had prepared for him. At the conclusion of the banquet the ceiling of the hsfll suddenly opened, a thick cloud descended and burst over their heads like a thunder- storm, pouring forth a shower of sugar-plums instead oh had. which was succeeded by a gentle rain of rose water.—Tom Miller. Esn R.T. I have been to Gloucester. Our friends there took us to the service in the grand old Cathedral. Afterwards we went to see the place where Bishop Hooper waa burnt. It is all railed in, and inside, on A pedestal, is a stone statute of the Bishop with his mitre AN his head and a book V.nder his arm. Just opposite, over an ancient gate way, is a queer little house with old-fashioned lattice windows. It is said th. from these windows QuHlft Marr looked out to see him burn.—Fanny Ellis, D.C. HOW TO WIN A PRIZE. I want to be quite sure that every child who ever looks at the Col. knows all about the Round Table. So I offer to sead a Book of the Order to each One who will send me hia or her name, •M, and address, also name of the newspaper im winch he or she reads the Col., on a poet card. Thie offer will remaia open for OH forfcl ■Mil fian. tke date of the enemt Col. books will 00 sent on w, tne post-* cards come i: but, at the end of the fortnight, a handsomely liound story-book will be given to the competitor whose post-card is written in the best style. Especial regard will be paid to the age of competitor in making this award. This is a good opportunity for all Thimblemaids and Esquires to supply themselves with Books of the Order free, and I lieg all Damsels and Knights to make this offer well-known among them. I nust exclude all previous winners of prizes from this competition. A DAMSEL'S PROPOSAL. Deir Aunt Maggie.—I think lines con- taining the Yows of the Hound Table for Damsels and Thimblemaids which appeared in the Col. la.-t week, are so verv nice. 1 am writing to a.sk vou if vou could have them printed in full, s"ii.arate!v. for us. on a slip of paver. Perhaps, as Tavjor Sifter* are members of the they would 11, ll.em chcaplv. 11: is co easy to learn and remember -nvihing that is in rhyme, and wouid it not le well for all Damsels and Thimblemaids to stct, them bv I enele.se 6d and hope many more Damsels will do the i-ame. If you receive enough money to get them printed, please send me as lIun dozen ( op'es -is you can that. Your affect onat damsel.—Nancy Starr. I Miould I ke to know how many other members mipr'-ve. and will aid in carrying out Damsel Nancy Starr's projxjsal AT THE ROUND TABLE. New Honorary Members Rev. 11. J. Longsdon, Mrs. Caldwell, per Aunt Maggie; Mrs. G. Robert- -or.. per Damsel Cathie Robertson; Mr. C. J. Tdh'tt. Mrs. Taliett. Mrs. Towsou. per Damsel ICathleeii Blunson Miss Ada A. Gayton. New Little Memliers: Margaret Alice Edge, Charles Hobbs. W111. Aneurin David Morris. Lists of Ten new memlJPrs have been sent in bv Damsels Beatrice Jenkins. Kathleen Blunson, Marion E. Wliitaker, Jane Tyldesley. j-.th-l Booth, Ruth Southern. Edith E. Simeoe. Emily G. Smith. Florence Lloyd. Alice Butler. Bertha Yearnshaw. and Hon. Dl. H. M. Marriott, and by Knights Norman .Tone-. Clement G. Shu'cer, Edgar Harm-ton, Charlie Jones, and Hon. JÙ, F. S. Peei. Medals Won for Fifty new members gained by Ilucli S-vithem and Emily G. Smith. Renewed Subscr-'pti^ns: for thoe. thanks to Hon _Yit-moers 10,04-2—10.054-—j.0,0oS-—19—J.O.Q06— The Or loOT" ',1 ihQ Round Table is a Big Society n; little folks ill connection witli the bovt: column. It has now 19,500 members. Watchwords; Conscientiousness, Kindness, Cour- tesy. Motto; "We must do the thing we ought before the thing we TUllY, VoV-: _1 \) }1") r>' T •••••• Knights and Esquires must pledge themselves to strive to bp brave, true, ana lioness. 1 U) IH:" eouneoj.s and obliging: defenders of all w-ak children and dumb animals, and helpers of tllO:C who need; to refrain from tad language and to say a few irind words, or do a kind deed, every day of their lives. Damsel* :1 nd Thimbjeniaids must try to lJ2 true, sweet, l11,1 h]pfll1. modest and gentle; to be good and to do good; never listen to a wrong thing, ur reppat one to be kind to dumb animals; ana to say a few kind words, or do a kind deed, every da'" of rheir lives. The Big Book of the Order lies always open for the reception of he names of new members. Every 't- ei- re ]. "¡, <ireared to join the Order. A penny p0,;tg-e stamp should be en- closed in a letter of application, for transmission the beautiful blue and gold certificate of member- ship. If six stamps be enclosed, then a Book of the Order, a copy of the Song of the Round Table (full music size, with tonic sol-fa in addition to the ordinary notation), and illuminated Card of Vovvg will be sent with certificate. Older People are particularly invited to join aa Hon. lfms, Rules, &c., sent free on receipt of a']rll'P.1 halfpenny wrapper. Address— AUNT MAGGIE SYMINGTON, • Hunstanton,

Norfolk. l.xfvirsrie "L never Knew anyone to naye SUell: atrocious taste as Ethel Pierce. She sent me thaii 11idpous vase for a birthday present. Look at it, Nellie; "Goodness gracious. I sent it to her last year." Teac'-or: "Yon say the tendency of heat is to expand and increase, and of cold to contract ¡ml lessen. Can vou give some familiar illustration of these effects?" Bright pupil: "The population of a 8n"?'\n1\-r re-ort." "Win-. like to know." said a lady once to a distinguished judge, "cannot a woman become a successful lawver?' "It simply arises from her invariable habit of giving her opinion without any pay." answered the judge. Ella: "How could you tell that your husband lost money at the races to-day. when he said nothing about it?" Stella: "I know he did. because when he came hon1P he becran to talk about the advan- tage, of saving money." Little Mabel "If you don't stop. I'll tell mamma, and she'll tell pain, and then papa will whip you." Little Johnny: "Then T'll cry. and then grandma will give me some chocolates, and I won't give YOl anv." An American girl was once shown some cannon at Woohvich Arsenal, the sergeant in charge re- mnrking. "You know, we took them from you at Bunker's Hill." "Yes." she replied. "I see you've got the cannon, but T guess we've got the hill," "What was that De Jones story vou told the other day. Smith?" I pleased Mrs. Jones very much by a-king her if she was herself or her daughter—couldn't tell apart. "Well, it's strange: hut I worked the same scheme on the daughter, and she didn't like it a bit." The editor of the "Times" once inquired of Hood what he thought of his paper. I should like it well enough." said the punster, "if it wasn't for its broken English." The editor stared, and asked for an explanation. "Why, the list of bankrupts.- to lie sure." A professor has made the calculation that, if men were really a." big aR they sometimes feel,. there would be room in this island for only two professors, tl1rpp lawyers, hYO doctors, and a rpporter on a. paper, Thp rest of U8 would be croweled into the sea and have to swim for it. Jack (to his fiancee): "I think of getting à musical instrument. Maud. Say. perhaps, a cornet." Maud (in dismay): "Oh. no. not that horrid thing." Jack (in surprise) "And why not. dearest?" Maud (blushing violently) "It makes the lips so hard. A Scotchman had two sons, rme of whom was a doctor and the other a clergyman, of whom he wa.s very proud. "If 1 had kent." said he, "that 0I1e of my sons wa to be a medical man and the other a meenister. I would never hae had ould Jennv M'Cosh for their mither.' M Tnrveytop was informed that there was a Tiossib lity of America's taking possession of "the Sandwiches." "Disgraceful!" she said; "they're stale enough at the refreshment rooms as it is. When they have to be imported from the United States he simply uneatable.' A schoolmaster in a Board school was endea- vouring to make clear to his young pupil's minds the meaning of the word "slowly." He walked across the room in thp manner thè word indicated* "Now. children, tell me how I walked." One little fellow who "at near the front of the room almost paralysed him by blurting out. "bow-legged." Mrs. Lansington "1 hear your daughter was married recently." Irs. t, Clair: "Yes. two months ago." Mrs. L. "What sort of a match did she make?" Mrs. St. C. "Oh, a safety match. Her husband is worth a quarter of a million, and gave her one hundred thousand as a marriage portion." A student had been bragging at a party of his various accomplishments, until one of the com- pany. losing his patience, said; we have heard quite enough of what you can do, now tell us what you can't do. and I'll undertake to do it myself." "Indeed; well. I cannot pay my bill. and: ani very lad to find that you can do it," replied the student. Amid the hilarity of the company; thp guest redeemed his promise. Here is an extract from a recent novel: "Husband and wife ate 011 together in silence. There was manifestly an ill-feeling between them. The hus- band devoured a plate of ROUp. half a fish, piece of roast beef, and a slice of plum-pudding without ever once opening hi" mouth." Mrs. Hull: "Wlio is the little sad-faced woman across the room" :\1 r. Lawrence: "It is Airs. Honeydew. She ha," never recovered from the shock of her husband's death, two years ago." Mrs. Hull: "Poor darling! I know how to sympathise. I was :1 Indow myself for three months." Scottish minister was away from his pulpit one Sunday morning, and when he returned he asked the people what sort of a sermon there had been, and one of the people replied: "Well. air. it was ower plain and simple for me. I like the sermons that jumble the judgment and confound the sense," and then lie paid his pastor the compliment of saying that he did not know any man who could equal him for that, Tomkins is engaged, and, as usual, shows him- self a man of caution. "My dear Mrs. B. he said one day to the maternal relative of his prospective partner for life. "Can't we change the dav to Thursday? You know originally decided on ^Wednesday." "And why, pray, my dear Mr. Tom- I.; 11 IS t "Because. Mrs. n., I've been figuring it out. and find that if we're married on Wednesday our silver w edding WIll fall on the first of April!" A retired farmer, after returning from a con- tinental tour, on which he had long set his heart and mind, was narrating one evening to his friend the doctor how he had visited "the majestic lake of i7-|j."eva' an trodden the banks of Blue Leiman." Exijuse nie, interrupted the doctor, "Lake Genera an<I Eake Lenian are synonymous." "That, my dea.r sir, replied the farmer. "I know rery well; but are you aware that Lake Leman is the more synony- mous of the two?" One of the borea at card-playing." says Caven- dish. "is ttie partner who constantly greets you with. 'If you had done so-and-so, we should hara done so-and-so.' My favourite retort is to ask if he had ever heard of the story of 'your Uncle and aunt/ If he has, he does net want to hear it .m. and is silent. If he hu not, and innocently falls into the trap by expressing a desire to hear it. I ■ay, in a solemn voice, 'If your aunt had been aaan she would hare keen your uncJe."