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ORIGINAL and SELECT.

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ORIGINAL and SELECT. ANN OF THE VALE. A fair ow ning flower was Ann of the Vale, But a Hower with dew overspread For when faithless love did 1..r bosom assail, Honour spread his. bright pinions, and fled. Rejected and scorn'd by the gay village throng, No soothing companion she knew, Save a poor little red-breast that with his sweet song Ever strove to alleviate her woe! Peace again had began to make cheerful her cot, Recall'd by her Robin's soft breath, When the fell hand of cruelty leveli'd a shot, That laid the lov'd minstrel in death. Her poor feather'd friend to her bosom she press'd, For the world unrelenting she sigh'd And, robb'd of each solace on earth she possess'd, Ask'd heaven forgiveness, -,ind-d ied O peace to his shade, in the church-yard that plac'd Her humble memento—a Rail! Thereon, with rode sculpture, a red-breast that trac'd Ar;.r1 WtIVVJ 1* A .itror V.I. joiiu^w.i o ^reJc;irin=>y to for the etymology my eve. found that Junius derives it from a areeic woTX which signifies foolish. I must own the derivation startled me for being in my own opinion a of profound wisdom, though a bachelor, I felt a Jit tie hart that the fraternity, of which I have the ho- nor to be a member, should thus be wounded by the arrows of a fanciful etymologist. From disliking the derivation, I proceeded to quarrel with the position, and to inquire whether the cap and bells may not be added to other decorations of the married head. The man who,, misled by the cunning of another, suffers himself to be drawn into a contract by which he is ruined, and the author of the calamity unhurt, is gene- rally spoken of with more ridicule than compassion nor do I think the ridicula, would be lessened, if the knavish party should happentobea woman. In other words, by marriage a man runs a greater risk of being made a fool of, than by remaining sin gIe; a fact which the annals of Westminster Hall and Doctors' Commons zre by no means backward in authenticating. But there are other consequences of marriage, ■fchich, though not so ruinous to happiness as infide- lity, are equally calculated to promote vexation and excite ridicule. Some of these consequences will ap- pear in the following account. 0 Frank Homely and myself were in early youth as inseparable companions as good-humour and port wine could make us, till love, who, as the poet sings, At sight of human ties, Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies," threatened in an evil hour to set us at variance. Alike in studies and alike in pleasures, the same arrow smote us both, and both became victims to the bright eyes of Miss Rachel Barnaby, daughter of Mr. Giles Barnaby, an inconsiderable farmer in the neighbour- hood. For myself, being a man of an invincible mo- desty, I never told my love content that my pa- tient assiduities should tell it for me. But, alas pa- tient assiduities could effect little, when placed in com- petition with the more substantial qualifications of my friend, namely, assurance and three per cents. By means of these, Frank increased so rapidly in the dam- sel's good graces, that in the space of two months he led her to the altar. I had, during the progress of my passion, with a prudence rarely attainable by persons A in that situation, concealed it from my friend nor do I think Rachel herself, with all her sex's penetration, ever once dreamt of it. Being soon cured of all re- mains of fondness, -I set out on my travels, and, year after year, received from the English newspapers the important intelligence, that the wife (I beg her par- don, the lady) of Francis Homely, Esq. was delivered of a child. This brings to my mind an odd observa- tion, made to me by a lady of eminence at Venice, that the English, wisely knowing that the true wealth t of a country consists in its populatioh, never fail to record the birth of a child in all their public prints. But to proceed in my story. Fourteen years had elapsed since the period of my quitting England, and every year had witnessed an in- crease in the noble family of the Homelys. In that prolific house, the human figure might be seen in all its shapes and gradations-" ab ovo usque ad mala"— from the infart 11 muling and puking in the norse's arms," up to the tall coquettish girl aping the airs of womanhood. I had not been long landed when I re- ceived a letter from Mr. Homely, acquainting me, among other things, that he had been long married to old Barnaby's daughter, Rachel, a woman possessed of every accomplishment to make the married state happy that she had already blessed him with seven sons and seven daughters, as fine a set as ever I saw in my life, and that nothing was wanting to complete his felicity, but to find his friend a witness to it, &c. &c. I Eager to enioy the sight of so much connubial hap- piness, I fixed an early day to dine with him, and busied myself in the anticipation of the elegant delights which my poetic imagination figured my friend to possess- When the hour arrived, I repaired to Mr Homely's house, and was shewn into his study, which, instead of being furnished with books and maps, was X strewed about with go-carts, dolls, whistles, penny trumpets, and cheap publications." I thought-this rather strange furniture for ? library, simf imagined vhat nothing"short of the ingemntyof the Sage of La- puta could extract food for study from such a jumble of materials. Scarce had I made this reflection, when n'y ears were alarmed with a -tremendous sound, ,A, which, ascending the staircase, and bursting open the study door, exhibited four of my friend's sons, and six of his daughters, shouting like wild Americans, with their arms strongly fastened with cords, and urged forward by another of the hopeful race, who brandish- ed a whip over his head, and sent forth sounds from it which might have silenced the thong of a French pos- tillion: this gentle pastime, it seems, they called playing at horses. The infant banditti had paced lound the room, and thrown down three chairs in their pro- gress, when the second horse in the team fell down, and was dragged by his playful associates along the floor, in spite of his angry cries and remonstrances. It required all the authority of their father to quell this hideous din, who shortly made his appearance and, notwithstanding the increased wrinkles on his brow, welcomed me by a cordial shake by the hand, and led me up stairs to the drawing-room, to introduce me to his wife. The drawing-room had discarded all super- fluous ornaments, and boasted a negligence and plain- ness that Diogenes might not have been ashamed of. In one corner two mischievous urchins had torn open a new pack of cards, and were building houses with them. In another stood a cradle and caudle-cup; while rush-bottomed chairs, back-boards, steel-collars, and stocks, usurped the place of candelabrums, silk hangings, and mirrors. On my entrance, Mrs. Homely shook two children from her lap, and one from her shoulder, and arose to welcome me exhibit- ing to my astonished view the once slender Rachel converted into a broad clumsy dame, with all the of premature old age. After the usual ceremo- ook my seat: and now my torments commen )ne child fastened my button with pack-thread J"lck of the chair; another pierced the calf of with a black pin while a third insisted upon ng behind me, and swinging by my pig-tail. these tortures with the firmness of an American hoping that the call to dinner would put an ny sufferings. But my expectations were vain, uestion whether Sancho suffered half the vex- at I did during the mockery of a banquet, I confess my sufferings were alleviated by ob- that the rest of the company came in for their Mrs. Homely sat at the head of the table with y child on her knee, and insisted, like an in- mother as she was, that nine of her numerous hould seat themselves at the board, which cau- he din and disturbance that I expected. Two boats were overset on the satin breeches of Maroon; the immaculate muslin of Miss was fated to receive the contents of a wine- md, to complete the calamity, a fine leg of pork irely flayed, that the children might devour 1, under the significant name of crackling. My not quite reconciled to matrimonial trammels, rather disturbed at this scene of folly and con- but his helpmate, who had long buried po- and even decency, in the vortex of one lvt: passion, love for her offspring, was delight- the bustle, and mould not have the poor things for the world. She looked round upon her u.^Lw^d brood with exultation, even priding herself upon their defects, and appeared to think that she had obtained a dispensation from rule and reason, from the sole circumstance of having favoured the world with fourteen children. Now, Mr. Editor, is it not a shame that a parcel of idle fellows should sit down and write poetical pane gyrics upon 11 wedded love," when it is notorious that nine times out of ten the married state is as I have described it? We collegians, who take our ideas of life from books, are apt to imagine that marriage is attend- ed by all that elegant felicity which your Thomsons and your Shenstones describe. I confess, that at the age of nineteen such was my opinion but the case of my friend Homely, and twenty other cases which I might produce, have since tended to diminish my cre- dulity. Tell me, Sir, I entreat you, why should Hymen's torch and Cupid's bow be thus eternally at variance? Shew me the policy of this conduct, that one woman, elegant and silly, should, after marriage, suffer her elegance to evaporate, and her silliness to remain i while another, who in her virgin state has charmed her admiring acquaintance with beauty, accomplishments, and taste, should be content, when a wife, to absorb all other qualifications in the duties of housemaid and nurse. I am, See. SOLUS.

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