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The Omnibus

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The Omnibus [Things Heard and Seen oy ihe Conductor.] Last Monday week's Police Court at Ystrad was almost a record. There were not more than 26 cases all told. -+--+- The falling of a tree in the neighbour- hood of Mabon's committee room at Pentre during the storm on Friday was regarded by good Liberals as a sinister omen for the Hause of Lords. -+--+- The Times refers to the member for the Rhondda as Hie" ltight Hon. I'm. Abraham." Is this a prophetic error? » » Mr. D. S. Thomas., Tonypandy, ha& been elected vice-chairman of the South Wales Federated Chambers of Trade. This cannot be said to be a boot-less ,honour -+-+- A gentleman travelled all the way Ifom Fishguard last Friday to vote for Mabon. It is not recorded what he said when he was told he had no vote! Mr. Harold Lloyd is a great advocate of the Referendtim. Well, a majority of over 5,000 sounds like a Vox populi." -+--+- Now that the District Council has put a ban on the opening of theatres on Sun- days for ail purposes, it is to be hoped that they will next put a stop to theatrical entertainments in the pulpit i on the same day. » ■» Mabon described his opponents on Saturday as the "forces of Vanity and Vengeance." And someone wrote in a toontemporarv the other day that the veteran, miners' leader had no fluency in the Sassenach tongue! -+- The Mid-Rhondda Central Distress Fund I received a ton of fish the other day from a Grimsby dealer. But it waS adding insult to injury to publish a photograph showing two reverend gentlemen cutting up that huge quantity. Some of us are very particular as to who shall see us carving. Once upon a time, and not so very long ago as to make it a, fairy tale, a certain teacher of Welsh not a. hundred miles from Tandy, in setting homework for his pupils, wrote the following ques- tion on the blackboard: How many things belong to nouns?" We wonder if any of our readers can answer the question. j or no strike-, some people are ¡ •deternsijied to have a good Christmas I dinner. Several fowls have been stolen lately from coops in the Mid-Rhondda district during the small hours of the morning. -+--+- A novel competition—and, we believe, the first of its kind—is being held at the Abergorchy Collieries. Treorchy. A num- lJer of geese and turkeys (one for each ,district) is to be awarded to the colliers who fill the cleanest and best coal during the fortnight. We now understand why so many of the workmen have been so enthusiastic about their work lately. "'+--+- An Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman, and Welshman were talking about their respective national emblem. "Give me, the leek," said the Welshman. And me the shamrock of Old Ireland," said Paddy. "And me the rose," said the •Englishman. "Well," said the Scot, slowly, "the leek often gets into a stew, and you can sit on the rose and the J shamrock, but who can sit on the thistle?" I A zealous Liberal, speaking at a meet- ing in support of Mabon's candidature last week, referred to his visit to Bath. Mabon, he said, had to remain in hot water up to his chin for fifteen minutes, and this was followed by another fifteen minutes swathed in hot towels. These 'operations caused him to perspire freely, and he was then taken to another room to cool down. In this room was a long table covered with Conservative papers, and" to while away his time Mabon scanned these, but perspired far more, than when in the bath and hot towels! -+--+- A local schoolmaster, relaxing his vigour a little at Christmastime, asked his class to design a Christmas card. Some of the cards were well finished and the work creditable in every sense. One iboy, however, drew a gin bottle, and inscribed round it the alluring and pathetic words, "Have a drop of gin, ,old dear." He had it—piping hot—after- wards. -+--+- A Rhondda Pressman tells the following good story. He had sent an important telephonic message to his paper, and was considerably annoyed not to see it in the next day's issue. He rang up the office and inquired for the "sub" who had taken down the "copy." "What has become of that message I sent you over the telephone yesterday? he demanded angrily. Quoth the voice in dulcet tones at the other end of the wire, I don't remember seeing your message; at any rate, it wasn't in your own handwriting." A schoolmaster, well known as a strict disciplinarian, is the possessor of a crop of curly hair that is of the colour gene- rally called by those who have no sense of what is proper, "carrots." One day he called a boy to task for not doing his work properly. The boy pleaded that his eyesight was bad. "Can't see!" saad the master; why. what's the colour of my hair? The boy looked up and gave no answer. Come," said the master, t, tell me or I'll cane you." Please, sir, I don't like to say," said the boy. Answer me at once," demanded the rufus-headed master. Please sir," said the boy, with all the diplomatic skill he could command, it's a little bit ginger." The following notice, affixed to a doll, is to be seen in a toy-shop window at Porth: "Within my dress there is A secret number to any purchaser of any Article to the value of 6l will be given a ticket with a number on And the person that recives the save number that is on the Doll Will be given the magnificent Doll Sale of good oomence on the 19th and continue untill Dec. 31 number will be ekown on the last day of Sale." lfot at all ambiguous if one puts the coixtoas and full-stops in the, right places. A journalist friend of The Conductor possesses a fund of dry humour. At a certain dinner not so very long ago, he was put down on the programme to re- spond on behalf of the Press to the toast of The Forces, Spiritual and Temporal." His response was a model of condensed philosophy. 44 Gentlemen," he said" I attended a meeting of the strikers this morning; this afternoon I spent at the Education Committee's meeting; after Jdxat I put in an appearance at a foot- hill supporters' club meeting, and now I fWIl here at this dinner. I suppose I must represent the "force of circumstances. I:'

,Pontypridd Under Arms.

Veno's Lightning Cough Cure.

- Penygraig.

Palace, Cardiff.

Havoc at Tonypandy.

,Skating Rink Partially Unroofed.

River Overflows Bank at Pentre.

Shop Windows Collapse at Treherbert.

Overtaken by Trams.

\ Correspondence,I

———, Cardiff Empire.'

jConference Again Adjourned.

Rhondda County School.

Musical Successes.

; Penygraig and District Chamber…

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