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UP AND DOWN THE COAST. ..r""""""'"-""-...r...J'V'

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UP AND DOWN THE COAST. ..r" -r.J'V' THE TEAPOT. £ The most expansive teapot ever erected is perhaps the g one at the end of Plascrug, Aberystwyth. That it is the ( noisiest will be admitted by those who doubt its un- i paralleled expense. As long as the teapot remains in use ( at Aberystwyth paragraphs like the one subjoined will be t interesting to the inhabitants who drink the poisonous compound pumped up from day to day Watering- places round the coast are especially exposed to danger 5 from bad water, as the inhabitants there seem to think that, because the sea washes against the cliffs or banks. which form the boundary of their town, they have nothing to do but to run the sewage into the sea, and it will cer- tainly be carried away, and then with equal recklessness they dig wells close to the shore because they find that they obtain water more readily there, owing to the infil- tration of the sea; or, as in one case which has come to our knowledge, they run an adit from the bottom of the well under a cemetery because the ground is more porous there, and therefore they get a better supply of water. Cases are not unknown in which the Governing Board of a town, be it Town Council or whatever other name it works under, has sunk a so-called well, and, without mak- ing any inquiry as to the character of the water, has doled it out to the inhabitants who, finding for themselves that it was quite unfit for drinking, have been compelled to resort to the purchase of a purer supply for domestic use." The engine is driven by steam, and steam is got up with coal, which lies temptingly outside the shed, ready for any one to steal who wants coal and is not averse to a little thieving from the Corporation. Very well-to-do people do not think it wrong to cheat a railway company, and poor people;niay therefore not be harshly judged if they steal coal from a Corporation. Could not the advo- cates of Llanbadarn water open a soup kitchen at the tea- pot as soon as winter sets in? All the extra expense will be in boiling the water HARD ON THE STONES. A visitor wandered up and down the beach and picked up many pebbles. Some were taken by him to the lapi- daries and cut into ornaments. He was pleased with his luck, but what delighted him most was his judgment in precious stones. Unce or twice it struck him that he might find as many valuable pebbles as would cover his expenses at the sea side. He offered to sell some of the stones to the lapidaries themselves, but the lapidaries laughed, and declined. Of course they could find pebbles for themselves. They would not even cut him a small pin or ring or stud out of a large stone, and keep the remainder in payment. The visitor always had to pay for cutting the pebbles and, what is very odd, the lapidaries did not return any pieces to him. At last his visit drew to a close, and he bought a strong box, into which he packed about a hundred weight and a half of the best pebbles—regular beauties. The rail- way people excessed him to the tune of 13s. Dd., a sum he paid with cheerfulness. What was a paltry 13s. 9d. in ,companson with the sum he would realize? The box was taken to a friend of his, a Birmingham lapidary, and the stones were submitted to his judgment. He threw them upon the floor, looked at their owner, and laughed, quietly at first, then louder. At last he roared the tears fell down his cheeks, and he seemed in great danger of suffo- cation. Several times he began to speak, but, on looking at his customer, was unable to control himself, and laughed again and again. At last he stammered out "They are worth about half-a-crown a cart load. They are' precious stones."—So say 1. MACHYNLLETH BRIDGE. In words of truth and soberness, allow me to plead with the Chairman of the Cambrian Railways Company. He is a brave man, but he ought not to be called upon to risk his life daily when he resides at the Plas by having to cross the rails, and to thread his way between trains, and to dodge screaming engines. It is sometimes said that highway surveyors carefully mend the roads near country gentlemen's residences and leave other parts neglected. This wicked imputation, of course, does not contain an atom of truth. It has struck me that perhaps the Chairman does not like to urge the erection of a foot bridge at Machynlleth until bridges have been built else- where, lest somebody should say, See that. Chairman builds a bridge at Machynlleth. We poor devils don't live at Machynlleth, but Chairman does.' It is very good of the Chairman to risk his life and, what is of more importance to me, my life, in his reluctance to bring upon the Directors the pressure necessary to induce them to build a bridge. If I really cannot get a bridge built at Mach- ynlleth, the officials will please in future, when I come up from the Coast, bring the carriage in which I travel to the platform, so that I can get out without crossing the line. This arrangement will take time, but I know the Company would not like to kill nte. The loss would be great. You see I should not be able to write the stinging paragraph I intend to compose if ever one of the poor wretches who now have to cross the rails gets killed in the process. DOG POISONERS. The following is purely imaginary Gamekeeper (insolently, to powerful man with gun under his arm)--tiave you a licence to carry a gun ? Is that your dog? Gentleman (eyeing the gamekeeper all over curiously)- Tkat is my dog. I have a licence to carry a gun. If I were you I would stand on one side, as the gun is loaded, and might go off. „ Gentleman's dog (smelling at a piece of flesh) is called up by the owner. Gentleman (walking towards the flesh)-l want a piece of this stuff. (Calls gamekeeper's dog towards him.) Gamekeeper (to his df)g)-Come here. Gentleman (to his dog, and pointing to the gamekeeper)- Watch him. Gentleman's dog (growling) watches the gamekeeper. Gentleman (in kind tones, and he tosses the gamekeeper's dog pieces of flesh)—Good dog. Gamekeeper (to gentleman)—Don't give my dog that stuff. Gentleman (to gameke'yper)—Why not ? Dogs like meat. Gamekeeper attempts to move, and is seized by gentleman s dog. Gentleman (gamekeeper's dog running to and fro, and foaming at the mouth)- What is the matter with your dog? He is going mad. Gamekeeper-He is poisoned. (Dog dies.) Gentleman (very much in earnest)—Do you know, if that dog were mine, and I knew who laid the poison, I -would not be answerable for the consequences. (After a pause)—What a large number of rabbits there are on this land Gamekeeper—Yes. Gentleman-Rabbits can be poisoned. Gamekeeper- I dare say they can be but who would do it? Gentleman-Time will show. SOME RECENT WEATHER. Whether they like this weather or not, said I, the other day, is of very little importance to the present inhabitants of this and other parts of the as yet habitable globe, but posterity-if posterity survives-will like to know exactly how we lived during the few days immediately preceding the solution and final disappearance of the last atom of solid earth. For the sole benefit of posterity I kept the following record of the weather for ten days, beginning on Wednesday, the 22nd :— WEATHER RECORD. Wednesday, August 22nd.-Rain, glass going down. Thursday, August 23rd.—Heavy rain—glass rising. Friday, August 24th.—Steady rain. Clouds like a sheet —glass continues to rise- Saturday August 2oth.—Very heavy ram. High winds. Faint appearance of a break in the clouds—glass rising ^Sund^y,1^August 2Gth-Fine weather for three minutes just before six a.m. Rain began to fall at 6-1, and fell without intermission all day-glass falling Previous risings evidently indicative of three minutes fine weather this morning. Monday, August 27th.—Appearance of break m clouds disappeared. Rain coming down like one o'clock. Visi- tors dull. Glass rising again. Spirits ditto. Tuesday August 2t!J.-The rain now comes in great showers with a steady downpour in the intervals. The change is quite refreshing—glassi rising. Wednesday, August 29th.—It is now agreed on all hands that heavy rain set in this morning, and lasted until five o'clock in the evening. The London daily papers have published second editions announcing that a man in the West of England saw a glint of sunshine about nine- teen minutes past three in the afternoon. This break in the weather accounts for the glass rising so steadily. Thought it meant something. Glass beginning to fall. Thursday, August 30th.-Five hundred correspondents have written to the London papers to say there was no sunshine in the West of England yesterday nor on any day for three waeks before. The rain to-day has been a sort of drizzle. Anybody might walk about in it for five minutes without getting wet through. Glass rising ^Friday, August 31st.—Glass believed to be still rising. Everybody will be able to say for himself what sort of weather there is to-day. The Coast. PERRY WINKLE.

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ABERYSTWYTH

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