Evening Express

COMPLETED STORY. Misadventures of Melville Jones—No. 4. BY J. LOUGHMORE. Author of The Bells of Castle Grange," "Mickey Morgan," &a., Ae MB. JONES F ALLS IN LOVE A THIRD TIME, AND IS SUED FOR BREACH OF PROMISE. Mr. Jones had always understood that it was the invariable custom of policemen to have sweethearts amongst the servants or cooks to be met with on their beats. Of this part of a policeman's life he had hitherto no experience, and when he noticed that pretty Jenny Jen- kins, the parlourmaid at Mr. Bradshaw's house, was throwing sheep's eyes at him. he began to consider that it was due to his position to fall in lo-ve. Not seriously, of course, for Jones was firmly convinced that his two previous love affairs had exhausted all his affections. No, he would simply have a flirtation with Jenny, and, maybe, write her some verses. Very likely some of those he had written in honour of Hetty Henstone could be made to serve also for Jenny. One evening, as Jones was going off his beat, he met the fair Jenny face to face. He had spoken to her once before about a window which he found open one night. This now served as a pretext for entering on a con- versation. "Good evening, Miss Jenny," he said. I hope you are more careful with the windows." "Indeed, Mr. Jones, I am just the same. It was never my duty to close the windows, and they may stay open for ever as far as I am concerned." "But, Jenny, supposing burglars were to enter and steal those two brilliant diamonds I see shining above your nose?" "Indeed, Mr. Jones, but you are a great flatterer; I'm sure my eyes are not in the least like diamonds." "Oh, but they are, Jenny, except that they Ve far brighter. Tell me the truth, have you yer seen such sweet eyes as your own? But #ou need not answer the question; I know you '•"sent. Neither have you ever seen such .ratty pouting lips." "To how many girls have you said the same, Mr. Jones?" "Only to one, Jenny, and I afterwards found out that she painted; you've never painted, ha.ve you, Jenny?" "What questions you do ask, Mr. Jones—of course I haven't." "But, I say-call me John; you see, I have called you Jenny at least a dozen times." "Well, then, John, you must not keep on lattering me so. Was that other girl nice?" "Yes, she was very pretty indeed, but not aalf so nice as you, Jenny. Do you know, I ion't think there is another girl in the world to pretty as you." "Well now. John. if you keep on like -hat I shall leave you." "No, indeed, you will not, Jenny. You'll rust go with me as far as my lodgings, and is soon as I've changed my clothes we shall ;o for a nice walk." Jenny, after a good deal of persuasion, agreed to wait for Jones in Taff-street, after which the two went in the direction of the BockingtStione. After this they took a walk at least once a week, whilst Jones often went to take a cup of tea with Jenny in Mrs. Brad- ehaw's kitchen. He was now known to the other servants as Jenny's young man, and, being very good looking, Jenny was quite proud of him. But I am sorry to say that Jenny was a great -rogue. She had another sweetheart rhom she loved more than Jones, and whose ealousy she wished to arouse. He had not been wy attentive lately. True, he lived twenty miles away, but, then, he might, all the same, nave come to see her oftener. In answer to ner mistress's question on the point, Jenny acknowledged to having one follower, but he had only come twice to see her at Ponty- pridd. What was the use of having the pri- vilege of a follower if he seldom or never came to see her? So she cast her eyes on Jones, Intending to use him for a double pur- pose. He would serve to pass the time and help her to keep up her reputation a-s an attractive young woman, whilst he would also serve as a subject about which she could write to her sweetheart, and perhaps be the means of letting that young man under- stand that if he wished to retain his sweet- heart he should have to pay more attention o her. The absent young man's name was Willie Morgan, and, as be received letter after Btter from Jenny, all in praise of Jones, his ealousy became at last aroused, and he letermined to have an interview with his rival. He found him one evening sitting not too close to Jenny in the kitchen. The whole ;ho looked confused, but Jones not so much so, as he had not heard of Morgan, but when he saw the latter go up to Jenny and deli- berately kiss her he became angry in a moment. To tell the truth, he was now, in spite lumseJf, getting to love the girl seriously, though he had not the least notion just then of marrying her. But, all the same, he did not like the idea, of a rival, and if the new comer were such he should at once set himself to the task of "putting his nose out of joint." "This is my friend, Willie Morgan, Mr. Jones. You have heard me speak of him." "No, Jenny, you've never mentioned his name to me; but I'm glad to know Mr. Morgan -how are you, sir. Jenny's cousin, eh? Though you don't look like her." hNo. rm not Jenny's cousin, sir—I'm her sweetheart-and if you have not heard of me I've heard plenty about you from Jenny." "Have you, indeed? I hope she spoke well of me—did she say I was good-looking?" "No, sir-she said you were a fool." "Strange, and over and over again she has told me I .m th". best-looking and the kindest chap she ever walked out with." "It's a he, sir. She never walked out with ycu." "Upon my word, Mr. Morgan, you speak badly for the place you come from in the matter of politeness—doesn't he. Jenny?" "What I want to know," said Mr. Morgan, who was a big, robust fellow, "is why you tell such lies. Jenny has never walked out with you. "Who sa.id she had? I would be the last man in the world to incriminate a young lady." "Gan-mon! You've just said it, and I must get to the bottom of it. Have you ever walked out with him, Jenny?" "My dear Mr. Morgan, can you not see that the young lady is serious and ready to faint? Upon my word, you're as bad as a cross- examining lawyer. Jonny would never walk out with anyone she did not love, I'm sure— would you, Jenny?" "I can't follow all your gab, sir. I want an answer from Jenny herself." "Don't worry her. Morgan—she'll write you— leave her your address. I give you my word that I'll get her to write to you." Jones was doing all in his power to make his rival look smail in the eyes of the girl. and he was succeeding admirably. Morgan's wrath was increasing at every word, and were it not for the uniform he would have attacked Jones at once. As it was. he came near him. and in a threatening tone ordered him to hold his tongue and give the girl a chance to speak. "I really don't know what to say, Willie. You see, Mr. Jones comes here to see that the windows are shut, and is a protection to all of us. Indeed, I don't knew what we should do without him." "111 tell you what to do without him. Como and marry me, and I'll look after shutting the windows." Jenny was delighted at this turn of the conversation. Morgan had never gone so far before. "Really, Mr. Morgan, you are too impetuous; give the young lady time to decide. You would not have the lady commit bigamy, would you? I know a certain member of our force who hopes to be a sergeant soon, and is quite prepared when that happy day arrives to ask Jenny to be his wife." "You've too muca old chat, my man, and. upon my soul, I have a good mind to leave her to you, and make you marry her, too." "How can you leave her to me? She is not yours—are you, Jenny? Don't be looking shy there—remember what some one told you at the Rocking Stone," and then Jones broke out into a song:- "My pretty Jane, my darling Jane, Ah, do not look so shy, But meet me, meet me at the Rocking Stone When the sun has left the sky." "Do you know that song, Mr. Morgan? I feel certain these are not the original words, and the third line seems too long—eh?" "Oh, go to the devil," said Mr. Morgan, seizing his hat and rushing from the room. Jenny shouted to him to come back, but he took no notice. Then, with an injured look, she turned to Jones. "You've done it now, Mr. Jones; he'll never speak to me again!" And then, bursting into tears, real or pre- ended. she rushed towards him. exclaiming: "Oh, John! John! I've only you now!" V auite enough, too. Who the deuce is he? And why have you not mentioned his name to me before?" "Oh, John, forgive me, we've known each other since we were babies." "I daresay. That accounts for the kiss, eh? Now, come here, Jenny, and when you've wiped your lip3 give me ten, and I'll try to forgive you." Jenny stepped forward to earn his forgive- ness; but at that moment Mrs. Bradshaw, the mistress of the house, came in. Jones was confused, and rose to go. "What's this, Jenny, and where are the other servants?" "Oh, they're out, ma'am, and Mr. Jones came here to tell me the best way to fasten the windows. You know, ma'am, the place is full of burglars." "I daresay. Was that one of them who rushed out just now slamming the gate behind him? I gave you permission to have one follower, Jenny—some young man from a distance to whom you said you were engaged. I don't want the kitchen turned into a police-station." "I beg you will excuse her, ma'am," said Jones, "it is certainly my fault. I promise you never to come here again." With a bow he went towards the door, but Jenny placed herself before him. "You must not go like that, John. Don't mind her; I can get another place." But John brushed quickly past the girl, and went out. Once in the street he began to com- mune with himself. "Jones, you're a fool," he said. "and are always getting into trouble. You must stop this kitchen courtship at once. But how pretty the hussy is—and she will have lost her sweetheart- through me. Never mind, she deserves no better. Fancy never having men- tioned his name to me!" The evening after he received a note from Jenny telling him that she had got a month's notice, but hoped to get another place some- where on his beat. Would he meet her on Wed- nesday night at the usual place, and they could talk over the future? "No. Jenny," thought Jones, "I will not meet you at the usual place, and as for the future you may improvise a soliloquy on the subject." Three or four days went past, and Jones received another letter from Jenny. She reproached him for his failure to keep the appointment she had made, and said her heart was broken. Would he not call again? The mistress would be away on Saturday even- ing. and cook, who was a good-natured old thing, would leave the. kitchen to them- selves. But Jones kept silent, rnd managed to exchange beats with another police man. A month went past, during which time the letters kept quickly pouring in from Jenny, and Jones's love was quickly ev?„potating. She had now become an intolerable nuisance to him. and he regretted very much tie had ever spoken to her. There was a girl on his new beat with whom ho felt it wjtiII have been much pleasanter to carry on his studies of this part of a. policeman's life. Jones had got a- formal introduction to this new girl, and often met, her in the street. One day thi two were walking alOIg side by side, when they came face to face with Jenny. That young lady flushed indignantly at the sight, and, holding up her little fist in Jones's face, hissed out: "You vile thing, I'll make you suffer for this." Jones was now possessed of considerable sangfroid, and when Jenny had passed on he turned to his companion, and. with an air of curiosity, asked: "Do you know thar. young woman? She must be mad-was she speaking to me or to you?" The following morning Jonea was the recipient of another indignant letter from Jenny, in which she reproached him with being unfaithful, and threatened pains and penalties. "This correspondence must end." thought Jones. "I shall write to her and extinguish her with big words." An hour later the following extraordinary epistle was put into the post: "My dear Jenny,—The extraordinary persis- tency of your epistolary inundation has dried up what I thought to be the perennial spring of my great affection, turning a positive quantity into a negative. But such is life, my dear Jenny. No sooner does man embark on Cupid'3 frail boat than a mermaid attracts him from his beat, a syren sings into his ears (que voules vous?), and between the two he escapes, leaving the fair one to mourn over her knitting like the lady of Shallott, or to lift up her head and fall in love with a knight who sings tirra lirra, which reminds me, my dear Jenny, that a smart modern writer has written a very learned and curious disquisition on this sul)ejct. According to the poet, Mr. Tennyson, the lady dies, and the gentleman. Sir Something, sings tirra lirra. The commentator alluded to adds to the story the very touching words that follow:—'It is satisfactory to know that she died tolerably happy, for she sang right up to the last.' Whether she also sang tirra lirra is not known. Perhaps, for a change, she chanted falla liila, which, probably, is to whack-fol- aditty what tirra lirra is to tooralooral." You see the moral, my dear Jenny, so adieu, John." "If that does not shut her up," said Jones, when he had finished, "I don't know what will." But it didn't. The very next communication that my friend Melville received was a writ claiming £500 for breach of promise of marriage. As usual when in any difficulty he sent for me. and explained the whole situation. I advised him to try to settle the matter out of court, as I felt convinced that for a matter of thirty or forty pounds Jenny would be glad to -^ithdraw the case. But Jones would not List em to me. "Ctyisider the insight into human nature the case will give me," he said. "Have you ever written her any poetry?" I asked. "Yes—some of the Henstone ballads adapted to the altered circumstances." "Then you are done for, Jones. However bad the poetry, it always has a grand effect on the jury, and they invariably give damages against it. Have you ever written her a promise of marriage?" "Yes; but a rather dubious kind of promise. I said I should marry her when I became a sergeant, and, as I never shall become a ser- geant, the promise cannot count." Well, the great day of trial came on, and Jenny went into the witness-box. "How did you first make the acquaintance of the plaintiff?" asked the examining counsel. "He came to tell us that one of the windows were open, and I spoke to him from the top window." "What did he say to you on that occasion?" "He said I looked Juliet in the balcony, and he felt very much like Romeo." "What did you understand by that?" "I had seen the play, and knew it was his way of telling me he loved me." "Had h'1 ever seen you before?" "Yes, many a time. He always stared at the house when going past." "And had cast sheep's eyes at you—eh?" "Yes: he seemed to be very much in love with me, but I thought him shy at the time." "You had afterwards reason to alter your opinion of him in that respect?" "Oh, yes; he became quite forward." "And when did you speak to him next?" "About a week after. He met me in the street and said a lot of soft things to me." "Such as--?" "That my eyes were like diamonds and my lips like rubies. Then we went out for a A'alk to the Rocking Stone." "You always understood that inviting a young lady to the Rocking Stone was equiva- lent to asking her to marry him?" "Yes." "And when you reached there, what did he say?" "I cannot remember all. He spoke a lot about the Druids of old and their loves pnd their lives, and told me his own affection for me was as enduring as the rock." "You afterwards found it to be as snaky— eh?" "Yes; I wish I had never seen him." "Did the plaintiff send you the following verses?" "I'd marry my Jenny, though not worth a penny, I'd love her from morning to e'en, And with all my might I would each day indite A ballad in praise of my queen; I'd work, and I'd borrow, do perjury for her, Or anything else for the argent- I'd fight with the rabies and nurse all her babies— If I only were once made a sergeant." "Yes; he nrote me these verses, and used sometimes to sing them to me." "You also received from Mr. Jones the follow- ing very amorous letter: I (Continued on the next column.)

COMICALITIES—ORIGINAL AND OTHERWISE. C Family Physician: Well, I congratulate you. Patient (excitedly): Then you think I will recover? Family Physician: Not exactly; but, after consultation, we find your disease is entirely consultation, we find your disease is entirely novel, and if the autopsy should demonstrate that fact we have decided to name it after you. He (wondering if that Williams has been accepted): Are both your rings heirlooms? She (concealing her hand): Oh, dear, yes! One has been in the family since the time of Alfred, but the other is newer, and (blushing) only dates from the conquest. Dingley was contemplating the purchase of a country place, and had driven his wife out to look at it. "How do you like it?" he asked. "Oh, I'm delighted; its beauty fairly renders me speechless," she replied. "That settles it," replied Dingley. "I'll buy it this afternoon, and we'll move out to-morrow." Some Spanish proverbs regarding women are not very complimentary. Thus:—"Three j daughters and a mother are four devils for a father." "The mother-in-law forgets sheJ was once a daughter-in-law." Diego's wife first ate the omelette, then beat him with the frying pan." "Let an idle man buy a ship or marry a wife." J The two archaeologists gazed at the heap of bones which they had exhuiCied. "This must have been an ancient burying-ground," said one. "More like a bicycle riding academy," replied the other. Mistress of the house, who is engaging a new parlourmaid: "Can you clean bicycles?" Parlourmaid: "No, mum, but I can gi'e ye th' address where I get mine cleaned." Scene—London restaurant. Hungry customer: "And—er—waiter, two eggs, please! Boil them four minutes." Waiter: "Yes, sir; be ready in half a second, sir!" "You had better not go boating with Ada," said Tommy to his sister's fiance. "Why not. Tommy?" 'Cause I heard her say she intended to throw you overboard soon." Landlady (of tea-gardens at Hampstead, on the eve of a Bank Ho- iday, to her daughter, who is kneading the dough for a cake): "Maria, you'd better put a couple of eggs and a bit of butter into the cake. It looks as if we were going to have a wet holiday, and may have to eat it ourselves." Beggar: "Please, sir, will you lend me a penny ter get something to eat?" Gentleman: "You've got sixpence in your hand now. What's that for?" Beggar: "That's to tip the waiter." Minnie: "What frauds these beggars are. I met a 'blind' man, who said, 'Please give me a penny, beautiful lady?" Mamie: "Yes, he said that to make you think he really was blind." Man (hurriedly): "Are you Mrs. Lawson, mum?" "Yes." "Well, I've been sent to tell you that your husband's head has been broken, mum, and I'm to break it to you gently, mum." A Scottish minister who was indefatigable in looking up his folk one day waited upon a parishoner and said to him, "Richard, I hae na seen ye at the kirk for some time, and wad like to know the reason." "Weel, sir," answered Richard, "I hae three decided objec- tions to goin'. Firstly, I dinna believe in being whaur yin daes a' the talkin'; secondly, I dinna believe in sae muckle singing; and thirdly, an' in conclusion, 'twas there I got my wife." The minister asked no more questions. Not to be Wondered At.-A gentleman once paid a visit with some friends to the house of one of the greatest of French painters. After looking at his pictures, the guests spoke of them admiringly to the artist's wife. She shrugged her shoulders, and replied coolly, "Oh, but he has nothing else to do!" A tailor once vainly tried to make clear his identity to the Duke of Wellington. "Wny," said he, "General, don't you know me? I made yer breeches." The duke cordially grasped his interlocuter's hand, and exclaimed, "Why, Major Britches, how are you?" An Irishman was asked by a friend to go to a concert with him. Pat consented, inquiring how much the seats were. His friend replied that the front seats were a shilling each, the back seats sixpence each, while the programmes were a penny each. "All right," said Pat, "I will sit in the programmes." Here is a droll little story of W. S. Gilbert. He put up his horse one day at a small country inn, on the signboard of which was painted conspicuously the notice, "Enter- tainment for man and beast." When his lunch was brought he looked dissatisfied and surprised the waiter by saying with characteristic humour, "This is all very well so far, but where is the entertainment for the man?"

TEE LOVERS. It was five p.m., and George Montgomery had been spending the afternoon with sweet Lilian Luray. "Good-bye, darling," he said fondly as they stood at the door. "Good-bye, George," she murmured, nestling her head in the time-honoured place. "Good-bye." "Good-bye." "In every parting, dearest, there is the image of death," he whispered, holding her close and kissing her passionately, "and we may never meet again." "Oh, George, darling," she said, clinging to him almost fiercely. "Who knows, my own. what may happen between this hour and when we meet again?" "Oh, George, my love, say that you will come back to me—to your own little, loving Lilian. George—the same beautiful and brave George you have always been." "Trust me, Lilian, darling; trust your George." "Oh, George," she said, strong in the faith which women have, "I do trust you. How could I love you so if I did not?" And she kissed him fondly. "Then I shall come again. Lilian, my own." "But when, George? When?" she asked anxiously. "At eight this evening, darling." "Oh, George," she wailed, "will it be so long as that? So long, so long?" He took her in his arms tenderly. "Darling," he whispered. "I will make it 7.30." And it came to pass as he had spoken.

CADBURY'S COCOA is absolutely pure, being entirely free from kola, malt, hops, alkali, or .any foreign admixture. Caution! The public should insist on having CADBURY'S—sold only in Packets and Tins—as other Cocoas are often substituted for the sake of extra profit. e3435-4

| OUR DAILY CARTOON. I I Sunday at Rumney. FRIEND: How's business, landlord? PUBLICAN: Well, I suppose I ought to be satisfied. God has been very good. It « true the strike has kept a lot o' money away, but, then, the police are raiding the clubs in Cardiff, so I ought not to grumble. —

DAILY RACING COMPETITION. Entrance Fee One Penny. In response to numerous requests, we have decided to make the following alterations in our racing competition:- (1) We have reduced the entrance fee from Twopence to One Penny per Coupon. (2) We shall have a daily competition when- ever the racing permits. (3 Each day we shad publish a Coupon con- taining Three Race3 (instead of five, as heretofore), to be run on the following day. (4) Coupons, accompanied by a fee of One Penny for each Coupon, must reach this Office by Twelve o'clock cf the day on which the races are run. (5) The whole of the entrance fees, subject to a small deduction for expenses, will be awarded to the competitor whose predic- tions are adjudged by the Editor to be nearest to the correct result, or, in the event of a tie, the money will be divided. (6) We shall publish each day the result of the previous day's competition, together with the Coupon for the succeeding day's competition. I CONDITIONS. Opposite the name of each Race in the Coupon write the name of the horse you select. Place the Coupon in an envelope, bearing the words, "Racing Competition," and addressed to the "Evening Express" Office, Cardiff. Send as many Coupons as you like, but every Coupon must be accompanied by an Entrance Fee of ONE PENNY in stamps. Sums of One Shilling and upwards may be in postal orders. Write your name and address clearly in the space provided for that purpose on each Cou. pon. The decision of the Editor must be accepted as absolutely final. No member of the "Evening Express" or "Western Mail" staff is allowed to compete. RACING COUPON. TO BE SENT IN BY NOON ON THURSDAY. RACFi. WINNING HORSE. Stockton Stewards' Handicap Plate Middleshorugh Welter Handicap Plate. The Zetland Plate. Name Address TO BE RUN AT STOCKTON ON THURSDAY. The STOCKTON STEWARDS' HANDICAP PLATE of 200 sovs. One mile. a st lb Mr Rose's Athel a 9 0 Mr J G Baird Hay's Gyp 3 8 5' Mr J G Baird Hay's Gyp 3 8 5' Mr J Monro Walker's Yards 5 8 0' Mr Oake-ey's Peace and Plenty 3 7 13 Mr T Holmes's Queen's Park 3 7 11 Lord W Beresford's Maori Queen II. 3 7 10 Lord Crewe's Nah'ma'Wusk 4 7 9 Lord Decies's Blyth and Tyne 5 7 7 Mr Fairie's Chubb 3 7 7 Mr John Scott's Monte Carlo 5 7 6 Mr R W Armstrong's Portebella 4 7 5 Mr W E Elsev's Slice of Luck 3 7 5 Mr W E Elsey's Paul Kendal 3 7 4 Mr G Davey's Romany Jack 3 7 4 Mr R Browne's Craig Lee 4 7 3 Mr T Leader's Sir Hew 3 7 2 The remaining entries are continued in the next column. Mr A C Richardson's Shandon 4 7 0 Mr Jame3 Hope's Lord Hope 3 6 12 Mr T W Hornby's The Artful Dodger 3 6 7 I IThe MIDDLESBOROUGH WELTER HANDICAP I PLATE of-150 sovs. Five furlongs. I agestlb Lord Durham's Hellebore 4 10 0 Lord Durham's Dubuque 3 9 8 Mr A Eccles's Mincio 4 9 8 Lord Crewe's Bend Sinister 3 9 0 Mr P S Cadman's Chapeltown 5 8 13 Mr G Maclachlan's Lo Ben 5 8 12 Mr W Sanderson's Reaper 3 8 10 Mr W Taylor Sharpe's Auto-car 3 8 10 Mr D Seymour's Rosey O'More 3 8 9 Mr R F Fosdick's Topar 5 8 8 Mr H Sandgate's King Tartar 5 8 8 Mr L Brassey's Sylvestris 3 8 7 Mr F Brough's Xenie a 8 5 Mr W Ridley's Markham 6 8 4 Mr T Leader's Seaport 5 8 4 Mr G W Smith's Bob Gould 6 8 4 Mr W E Elsey's Slice of Luck 3 8 2 Mr Corners Schuster's Black Poplar 3 8 1 Mr John Scott's Morpeth 4 8 0 Mr Geo Edwardes's Planisphere 3 7 12 Mr H F Clayton's J Moerder 3 7 11 Mr M Morrison's HazTfebun 3 7 8 M- John Richclale's Pass the Pickles 3 7 7 Mr W I'Anson's Survey 3 7 7 Mr John Law's The Lamb 3 7 7 The ZETLAND PLATE of 103 sovs. One mile. a st id Mr A Eccles's Loyal Favourite 3 9 7 Mr L Brassey's Poldo 3 8 7 Mr E Carlton's Flavus 3 8 7 Mr M Gurry's Waterhead 3 8 7 Mr J Hope's Lord Hope. 3 8 7 Mr H W Langley's Primero 3 8 7 Mr W F Lee's Reredos 3 8 7 Mr J Lowther's Royal Warden 3 8 7 Captain Machell's Dunamase 3 8 7 Mr H B Pagat's Newark 3 8 7 Mr A Bailey's Easton Agnes 3 8 4 Mr Francis Lambton's Her Ring 3 8 4

OUR FREE GIFT OF BOOKS I TO EVERY READER OF THE "EVENING EXPRESS." We are presenting gratis to every regular reader of the "Evening Express" one of the following high-class, cloth-bound, and gold- lettered standard works of English literature:- Shakspeare's Complete Plays and Sonnets; "Vanity Fair," by Thackeray; "The Caxtons," by Lord Lytton; "Ernest Maltravers," by Lord Lytton; "Alice, or the Mysteries," by Lord Lytton; "Ivanhoe," by Sir Walter Scott; "The Scarlet Letter," by Hawthorne; "Mary Bar- ton," by Mrs, Gaskell; "Lays of the Scottish Cavaliers," by Aytoun; "Jane Eyre," by Char- lotte Bronte. The books will be given away at the rate of 24 every day until every reader ha3 received one. Upon the top of the Second Page of the "Evening Express" each day will be found a number, printed in violet ink, which number will be different in every paper that is printed. Keep this number till the following day, and see if it is given in the list printed below. If your number is given, take it to either of our offices at Swansea, Newport, Merthyr, or Cardiff, and you will receive either of the above books. If you cannot con- veniently call, tear off the purple number and send it to the "Evening Express" Office, Cardiff, with your name and address and twopence towards the cost of postage, and the book chosen by you will be forwarded to your address. No person is entitled to a second book, even though he be the holder of a selected number, until every reader has received a book. Purchasers of TUESDAY'S Evening Exuress" Bearing the Following Numbers Printed in Violet Ink on the Top Left-hand Corner of Page 2 are Entitled to a Book — 5220.52 522176 525121 525248 528476 528844 529376 529911 533335 533935 534345 534872 535355 538611 539110 539542 539999 540102 542999 543660 544444 544932 545551 545932

PHILLIPS'S is. 6d. TEA is a Triumph of the Tea Blending Art. It's distinctly superior to the so-called ".finest teas. Have you tried it ? el636 lIVER COMPLAINTS.-Dr King's Dandelion nnd Quinine Liver Pills, without Mercury, are a patent remedy; removes all Liver and Stomach Complaints, Biliousness, Headacheit Sickness, Shoulder Pains, Heartburn. Indiges tion. Constipation. e—3 Wonderful Medicino. Kernick's Vegetable Pills; cure headache, indigestion, nervous debility. Ac.; 7Jd., Is. lid.. aild 2s. 9d. per box.- Sold everywhere. m.w.s. It is said there are no two things alike in the world, and certainly there is no such Strength- reviver as Gwilym EvjBMr Quinine Bitters. In Bottles 23. 9d. and 4s. € £ > Avoid Imitations. -3

CRICKET COMPETITION. ENTRANCE FEE TWOPENCE. All the Money for the Best Coupon. To the reader of the "Evening Express" who predicts, or most nearly predicts, the result of the following cricket matches, to be played during next week, we will award all the Entrance Fees of the Competition. With each Coupon must be enclosed twopence in stamps, and the amount thus obtained will be given to the competitor who sends in the best coupon. CONDITIONS. If the competitor predicts a draw, he must not erase either name. If the competitor predicts a win, he must strike out the name of the losing team. If for any cause a match be abandoned it will be considered a "draw.' Coupons must reach this office by first post on Monday morning, and the winner or winners will be announced in our issue on the following Monday. Competitors must' write upon the envelope3 ccntaining tlieu- coupons, "Cricket Competi- tion." Competitors may send as many coupons as they like, but each coupon must be accom- panied by twopence in stamps. Other conditions as in racing competition. CRICKET SKILL COUPON. (TO BE SENT IN BY MONDAY, AUGUST 22). (TO BE SENT IN BY MONDAY, AUGUST 22). MIDDLESEX V. LANCASHIRE. Commencing August 22. GLOUCESTER V. SURREY. Commencing August 22. KENT V. ESSEX. Commencing August 22. SOMERSET V. SURREY. Commencing August 25. MIDDLESEX V. KENT. Commencing August 25. LANCASHIRE V. DERBYSHIRE Commencing August 25. ——— Name Address N.B. -In consequence or complaints as to the difficulty of predicting the exact scores of various cricket, matche,i. we have decided to simplify the competition, and in future com- petitors wiil only be reqnired to predict the name of the winnins team or a draw.

"LONG EXPERIENCE MAKES LARGE WIT," says a Japanese proverb, the truth of which is well illustrated by the attempts to discover a perfect food for children who are reared arti- ficially. This has been a matter of much expe- rience, experiment, and mental ingenuity. There have been many failures, some partial successes, but the crown of victory has been reserved for Horlick's Malted Milk. Try it cnce and you will say that it has been awarded rightly. Children who take it improve daily. It is also the best diet for adults in chronic dyspepsia. It relieves the severe and obstinate flat-ulcnce which is the most troublesome symptom of this complaint. Of all chemists. Price Is. 6d., 2s. 6d.. and 11s. A free sample will be sent, on application, by Horlick and Co., 34, Farrinedon-road, London, E.C. Send for "Freddv's Diary," post free. 1.15225 I The Best Remedy of The Age. Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters. In Bottles 2s. 9d. and 4s. 6d. Beware of Imitations. See the name of "Gwilym Evans" on Label, Stamp, and Bottle. e4919-5 TO DARKEN GREY HAIR-Lockyer's Sul- phur Hair Re3torer is the quickest, best, safest, costs less, effects more than any other. Thb colour produced is the most natural. Lockyer's Sulphur is the only English Hair Restorer. Universally Relied on. e-2 Have You Tried Phillips's is. 6d. Tea? It is a Triumph of the TeaBiending Art,and is distinctly superior t.o the so-called finest teas." el636

r FOR BOYS AND GIRLS ONLY. I The "Evening Express" Boys' and Girls' Club (established March 21, 1893) is formed for the purpose of promoting principles of kmdtioss amangst your. people, and for the mutual interest and instruction of its members. Boys and Girls, wherever resident, aro eligible for membership, provided their age does not exceed sixteen years. The club has now 2,341 members. Intending Memoers must fill up the sub- joined Coupon, and forward i\ to Uncle Joe, "Evening Express," Cardiff. Their names and addresses will be published, and each new Member is entitled to a beautifully designed Certificate. Cardiff Members must call for their Certificates at the "Express" Offices, St. Mary-street. Other members must forw-irl one penny stamp for postage. Uncle Joe is always pleased to hear from his Club Members on any matter of interest, whether relating to school or recreation, and he invitee questions and answers. Only Club Members are eligible to compete for the Prizes given in this column Children writing to Uncle Joe must always add to their names their official numbsr as Members of the Club. I desire to be enrolled a member of the "Evening Express" Boys' and Girls' Club, and I hereby promise That I will always be obedient to my parents, and kind to the aged and infirm. Tiiat I will try and help less fortu- nate children. That I will be kind to animals. 'mat I will try and do something every day to make things happy for those round me. Full na.me. Age Address Proposed by [Write very plainly in ink.]

CORRESPONDENCE. CAN STAMINA BE IMPARTED IN SUMMER? To the Editor of the "Evening Express." Sir -The answer to the above important ques- tion is decidedly "Yes." No matter whether rhysical or mental labour is meant, or even if, as is too often the case in the summer, an ex- cels of either has to be accomplished, Dr. Tibbies' Vi-Cocoa will prove of inestimable ser- vice. The summer jadedness and tiredness which characterises thousands of young iven and women of the present day too often re- solvesitself into a question of diet. Ck.'oren and young persons do not require so much f< cd as nourishment, and a partially digested ) cod- beverage, such as Dr. Tibbies' Vi-Cocxa, e.vves strength, stamina, and builds up and strengthens the tissues. The disinclination for lull her effort and exertion so often experienced will become a thing of the past; and, heat in sum- mer and all the uncertainties of our trying climate can be faced with Dr. Tibbies' Vi- Cocoa, which has concentrated powers of nutri- ment, and imparts stamina and staying powers, adds to powers of endurance, and enables those who use- it to undergo greater physical exer- tion and fatigue. Such great medical authorities as the "I.aniet" and "British Medical Journal" co-nmonl Dr. Tibbies' Vi-Cocoa for its sustaining prope.-ties, and the claim of the proprietors of "Merit, and merit alone," is certainly a just one. If Dr. Tibbies' Vi-Cocoa was universally used during the summer months, as its merits des -rvi\ it would do much towards relieving tne distress caused by carelessness in choice of food. (,urs t»"y. SPECIALIST. London, >T.V.r.

A CONVICT S CAREER. The identification of a remarkable criminal, which has just taken place at Wormwood Scrubbs Prison under unusual circumstances isays the "Westminster Gazette") has added another chapter of crime to the career of the mysterious and dangerous individual who a few weeks ago was sentenced to penal servi- tude for life for attempting to murder by shooting Inspector Hooper, of Northampton, and Police-constable Brooks and Detective Powell, of the Metropolitan Police, in a cab at Euston, when resisting arrest for burglary at Upton Hall, Northamptonshire. It was a remarkable element in the case that the police, even up to the time of the man's con- viction, could not ascertain who he actually was, although they discovered him to be a most expert burglar. He had victimised, it has transpired since, the Bishop of Peter- borough, the Vica.r of Banbury, and numerous country houses in the home and Midland counties; and the Bedford Grammar School was included in the objects of his attack and source of income. He had, however, police officers and warders alike declared, never been under arrest. Like the notorious Charles Peace, his only companion was a female, and for purposes of oommunicaition he used a cipher, the cryptic completeness, of which puzzled even the Foreign and other Govern- ment Office experts to read. For the first time it is mentioned that his burglarious career might have been still uninterrupted had he not, at the scene of one of his nefarious and nocturnal exploits in Bucks, left hidden in the garden of the mansion his bag containing his "tools" and a soiled shirt. The name of the maker on the latter, and the laundry mark on the same, gave the clue to his residence in Leicester, where he lived alone in some style, and from which-when the police sur- prised him, and recovered an immense amount of stolen property-he escaped by throwing a lighted lamp at Inspector Hooper, and jump- ing barefooted a great distance from the upper windows. He Ead assumed several aliases, and one of these was fastened upon him for the purpose of his trial, but ho defied the police to discover his real identity. The unexpected^ however, invariably happens. While at Wormwood Scrubbs undergoing the preliminary term of his life sentence he un- consciously came in contact with, to him, an undesirable friend of years ago, who knocked the bottom out of his boast to the police. One of the warders of the prison had served in the Scottish Borderers in India, and, much to his chagrin, the convict had to recognise in the warder an old comrade, and admit that his name was Hely. It then transpired that whilst a drummer in the Borderers, at Cal. cutta, he was imprisoned for felony. He broke out of prison, however; but he alone knows the secret of how he successfully escaped from Calcutta and returned to England, where his successful exploits in burglary all but ended in a triple murder. This incident has enabled the authorities to establish the convict's ante- cedents, which, as shown, are of a remarkable character.

PEPPER'S QUININE AND IRON TONIC embracing, vivifying, sustaining, dispels depression, cures indigestion, neuralgia, and all aches or pains. Pepper's, the only real tonic. Shilling bottles- e—5 How is it after eating Stevens's bread you want to continue with it? 3d. per loaf, delivered. IMPORTANT TO MARRIED LADIES.—Send Stamped Addressed Envelope for most valuable Particulars and Testimonials (which are guaranteed genuine under a penalty of £ 1,000).— Beware of imitators. DASMAIL, Box 387, Langdale, Walthamstow, London. Established hall a. century. e6966

-3l, LETTER-BOX. 28, David-street, Bute-terrace, Cardiff. Deep in the cave is a coral grove, Where the purple millet and gold-fish rove; That never are wet with falling dew. But in bright and changeful beauty brine. Dear Uncle JQe.-I had a good time of it Monday. I went to Penarth by boat, and when I came back I had a good tea, with cake and bread and butter. Good-bye, dear Uncle Joe. I have no more to say to you at present. Wanders where the dreamy palm Murmurs above the sleeping wave, And through the water, clear and calm. Looks down into the coral cave, Whose echoes never had been stirred By breath of man or song of bird. -From your truly-loving Niece, MARY M'CARTHY. [Uncle gives this letter just as received. Penarth and the tea and cake, &c., appear to have had a most poetical effect on Mary.] Dear Uncle Joe,—I got "Peter's Paradise," and I like it very much, and the pictures are most interesting. I got my certificate, and I am going to have it framed. I am thinking to get a few members for the Club. No more to say.-From your loving Niece, MARY SULLIVAN. Hoping you are well, Uncle Joe. 13. Little Frederick-street, Cardiff. Dear Uncle Joe,-I write these few lines to tell you that I had my certificate on Wed- nesday last. I am very glad. My father and mother said it is to be framed. When it is framed I wifl hang it on the wall near my bed. So good-bye, dear Uncle Joe.-From your truly- loving Niece, ROSA COLES.

IIOLIDAY PRIZES. Nephews and Nieces are invited to compete for the following prizes. All competitions to be sent in by SUNDAY. AUGUST 21, AT LATEST. Prizes for our Photographers. Uncle Joe happens to know that some of his Nephews and Nieces take an interest in photo- graphy. He has seen one or two pictures taken by them, and been very pleased. Uncle will give a prize of 2s. 6d. for the best photograph sent in; and a book for the second best. The photograph in each instance must be accom- panied by a statement signed by the sendert parents that the same is his unaided work. Prizes for our Artists. Many of Uncle's Nephews and Nieces drts if they don't photograph. Well, make a draw* ing of the house in which you are staying and send it in. along with a statement signed by your parents that the drawing is your own unaided work. First prize, 2s. 6d.; second, a book. Prizes for Essayists. Two-and-six to the Nephew or Niece over nine who writes the nicest essay on "My Summef Holiday"; a book for the second best essay. Two-and-six to the Nephew or Niece, aged ninl or under, who writes the nicest essay on "M1 Summer Holiday"; a book for the second best essay.

"PETER'S PARADISE." A Lovely Book for Next to Nothing Uncle Joe wants to call the attention ti those members of the Club who have no( bought "Peter's Paradise" to what those wW have bought say about it. Everybody who had purchased tne book is delighted, and no won* der. Uncle Joe has never seen so beautiful a book for twopence, nor has any one else. YoO '■ get it, and judge for yourself. j "Peter's Paradise" is a charming coloured pie* ture-book, published at Is. 6d., but which the proprietors of the "Evening Express" are offer- ing to Uncle Joe's Boys and Girls at the ridi- culously small eum of 2d. per copy. "Peter" Paradise" is a description in picture and verse of the Crystal Palace, and Uncle Joe assures his Nephews and Nieces that they are never likely to pick up a prettier book at so small a price. If you are a Cardiff member, and want "Peter's Paradise." you must bring to the "Evening Express" Office twopence and yont Club certificate. The certificate is to let the clerk at the counter know you are a. bona-fide member of the Club. Don't be afraid. He will not keep the certificate. You will be able to take it home again, and with it this beauti- ful book, "Peter's Paradise." Distant members must send threepence extra for postage of the book. Non-members must pay threepence if they want the book, and sixpence if they want it by post. No member of the Club can have "Peter's Paradise" for twopence without pro- ducing his or her certificate.

IRISH LAWYERS IN ENGLISH COURTS. HOW NUMBERS ARE REAPING FAME AND FORTUNE. During the progress of the "hypnotic" will cr.33 *he other day a witness made a statement amounting to something very like a "bull." "'I hat is an Irish way of describing it, I sup- pose?" queried Mr. Carson, Q.C., who was cu ss examining, sarcastically. "I dare say," retorted the witness coolly, "you and I are both Irish. Mr. Carson." And the court smiled. Mr. Edward Carson, Q.C., M.P., is the latest Ir.sh acquisition to the bar of England. Not so very many years ago Mr Carson was one of the crowd of briefless juniors who adorn the corridors of the Four Courts, Dublin, and whese methods of earning a livelihood are as mysterious as those of the traditional Scilly Islanders. Mr. Carson may be described as a fortunate man. He owed his first brief (as do many juniors) to a lucky chance, and, more luckily still, he attracted the attention of Mr. A. J. Balfour when the latter was Chief Se< retary for Ireland. Under Mr. Balfour's patronage young Carson flourished exceedingly, prosecuting for the Crown in cases under the Coercion Act. He rose quickly to the front rank of the Irish bar. He then turned his at tent i to politics, and was elected M.P. lor Dublin University. Tiring of the narrow sphere in Ireland Mr. Carson came to the English bar. and has, in a remarkably short spar I) of time, risen to the very top of the tree. Juniors speak in bated breath of his ;ncome. and prophesy future honours and dignities. Mr. Carson, though a comparative failure in 'politics, thinks he is strong enough to "round on" Mr. Arthur Balfour, his former friend and patron. Perhaps he is, but Arthur doesn't like it. Mr. Carson is, with the possible exception of Sir Edward Clarke, the most scathing cross-examiner at present practising in the courts. Dr. Rentoul, Q.C., M.P., is another burly Irish member of the English bar. Dr. Rentoul is a native of Ulster, and comes of a very taler.ted family. Mrs. Rentoul Esler, author of "The Way They Loved at Grimpat," is his sister. As an after-dinner speaker Dr. Rentoul had very few equals in London. He enjoys a fair practice on the Home Circuit, and rumour has it that he will obtain the judgeship of the City of Londpn Court when Mr. Commissioner Kerr retires, a post worth £3,500 a year. Dr. Rentoul is M.P. for East Down, and is a great favourite with the tenant farmers of that flourishing constituency. He is much in request as a political speaker, his ready Irish wit standing him in good stead when there is any fighting to be done. No man is better known on the Common Law side than Mr. R. A. j' McCall. Mr. McCall is a native of Lisburn, that thriving little linen centre in County Antrim. He enjoys a very lucrative practice as a "silk" in the Common Law division, and may frequently be seen argu- ing before Mr. Justice Kennedy. Mr. McCall has all the qualities which go to the making of a successful barrister, a good voice and presence, and the capacity to grasp dry and intricate details. Then, of course, there is Mr. C. F Gill the great criminal lawyer. He has a more exten- sive criminal practice than any other junior. No figure is better known at the Old Bailey than "C. F.'s." Common Law and Chancery men are apt to sneer at mere "criminal" work, as being at once the least technical and worst- paid branch of the profession. But opinions may well differ on this point. Suffice it to say I that Mr. C. F. Gill is easily first in his own particular line. Our list must also include that Ulster l Triumvirate, Mr. Edmund Macrory, Q C Mr James Mulligan. Q.C., and Mr. William R. McConnell, Q.C. Mr. Edmund Macrory i P°pular treasurer of the Middle Temple. He is a native of Belfast, Being a gentleman of private means he does not need to practise his profession, and devotes much of his leisure time to the Barristers' Benevo- lent Association and other charities. Mr James Mulligan. Q.O., another Belfast man, is a-i ex-treasurer of Gray's-inn. Mr W R. McConnell, the third of the Belfast trio, is the well-known chairman of the Middlesex Quarter Sessions. Three Irish judges adorn the bench. They are the Lord Chief Justice (Lord Russel of Killowen), Lord Justice Henn Collins, and Mr Justice Mathew. The well-known law lord and chairman of the Council of Legal Education, Lord Macnaghten, is also of Irish birth.

EPPS'S COCOA.—GRATEFUL AND COM. FORTING.—" By a thorough knowledge of the natural laws which govern the operations of digestion and nutrition, and by a careful appli- cation of the fine properties of well-selected COCOA. Mr. Epps has provided for our break. fa3t and supper a delicately flavoured beverage which may save us many heavy doctors' bills. It is by the judicious use of such articles of diet that a constitution may be gradually built up until strong enough to resist every tendency to disease. We may escape many a fatal shaft by keeping ourselves well fortified with pure blood and a properly nourished frame."—" Civil Service Gazette.Made simply with boiling water or milk.Sold only in packets and pound tins, by Grocers, labelled—" JAMES EPPS AND CO. (Ltd ), Homoeopathic Chemists, London."— Also makers of Epps's Cocoaine, or Cocoa-Nib Extract: Tea-like: A thin beverage of full flavour, now with many beneficially taking the place of tea. Its active principle being a gentle nerve stimulant, supplies the needed energy, j without undnly exciting the system. e6396—m.w.

CUBAN BLOODHOUNDS. The first Cuban bloodhounds landed upofl this Continent were imported 200 years ago by Spanish planters of Louisiana, then Spanish territory. We all kooiv what the dons were about 1700. Negroes were cheaper then, and if a slave gave trouble it did not much matter that the bloodhound's hold upon his throat wa< broken only by the tearing of the flesh and tendo is. Many times in those days the fugi- tive negro did not live after his capture. If hi succeeded in gaining a tree, his olive-skinned masters shot him out as they would a squirrel. If on the ground when caught the dogs killed him, sometimes before the arrival of the horsemen, who had ridden hard to be in at the death. The Cuban hound was a valuable dog, and he was well treated. In some of the old court records of Louisiana are bills of sale of him. In instances the prices ran as high as 800dols. a pair. The breed spread all through th8 South, although 1 have never heard of the dogg being used as man hunters in the upper tier of southern states. I doubt that one has ever been laid upon the trail of a negro in Vir- ginia, North Carolina, or Maryland. As a matter of course, the planters of thif century were careful to protect their slavesaf far as possible from attacks by the animals. This was generally easy. The runaway slavs invariably made for the swamp at the back of the plantation. It contained many streams and lagooil-, which aided him in throwing the dogs off the scent. If the worst came to the worst he could always climb a tree. The bloodhound is now used only in the pursuit of criminals. Every southern peniten- tiary has a brace or more of them. They are not infrequently a. part of the sheriff's outfit. The breed is not always pure, but the dog3 serve their purpose better than fairly well. Their keenness of scent is one of the most remarkable things in nature, though it is of value chiefly in the more thinly settled region. It seems incredible that the mere temporary pressure of a man's boot or shoe upon the ground should leave a traceable scent for 24 hours, providing that there has been no rain. but there is no doubt that it does. Sometimes in the South a murderer breaks gaol. Until the universal introduction of chilled steel cages this was not a difficult matter. Dogs are telegraphed for at a distance pro' bably of 150 miles. They arrive a day after the escape. They are led in leach to the point where the criminal is supposed to have his exit and uncoupled. They take up the scent instantly and follow it rapidly. The man must have crossed much water or confused his trail with the hurrying footsteps of dozens of others to throw them off. Always supposing that twenty-four hours is the extreme limit of "law" allowed the fugitive, the bloodhounds are the best means of effecting his capture. Having far to travel, they do not bay. They have no breath to waste. In the first canto of "The Lady of the Lake." Scott remarks that "the deep-mouthed blood- hound's mellow bay resounded up the rocky way." That was the English bloodhound. The English bloodhound, or the bloodhound of the Continent for that matter, not only bays, but has a remarkably sonorous and beautiful voice. He "opens," as it is technically termed, upon a cold trail and keeps it up until the quarry is sighted or run down. He is of great size, with deep chest, powerful shoulders, massive head, drooping jaws, and long ears, a remarkably sagacious and affec- tionate animal, courageous, though not espe- cially savage, and one of the best friends man ever had. This hound is known in the old prints as the "sleuth" hound, or "slot" hound, taken from the old "sleuth" or "slot"—other- wise "trail"—of the deer. He is called the bloodhound, not because he is particularly fond of blood as a matter of diet, but because, having once found the blood-trail of a wounded animal, he follows it with wonderful staunch ness. He will, in fact, unless taken off by force, follow it until it drops, and, rising, will stagger along until he falls again. The English bloodhound is not used in the South. That is where Mrs. Stowe's error was I made. The dog there is the Cuban bloodhound. He differs materially from his English cousin. He is larger, fiercer, and swifter. with more of a bulldog cut about his head. He is probably a descendant of a bull cross. He is invariably mute until his quarry is sighted. Almost any dog will give tongue when he comes within view of the object of his pursuit after a long cha^e. This dog is not a snapper, as is the English. He is a pinning dog, which comes probably from his bull strain. Once his teeth are locked, they can be disengaged only by the ingenious method of grasping his nostrils and shutting off his breath.—H. S. Carfield, in "Chicago Times Herald."

A Triumph of the Tea. Blending Art- PHILLIPS'S is. 6d. TEA. Have you tried it? It is distinctly superior to the so-called finest teas." el636 A SPOTLESS COMPLEXION. Sulpholine Lotion clears off all imperfections in a few day3. Pimples. Roughness, Tan, Uncomfortable Skin Disfigurements entirely fade away, leaving a beautiful skin. Shilling Bottles of Sulpholine everywhere. e-4 A First Aid towards quickening commercial instincts for the Counting House, or the Market Place, is Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters, a Tonic that is sure to be wanted. In Bottles 2s. 9d. and 4s. 6d. Avoid Imitations. e4919-1 How is it after eating Stevens's bread you want to continue with it? 3d. per loaf, delivered. The Little English Liver Tonic.-Kernick's Vegetable Pills; dose, one small pill; 7i«l., ls. Hd.. and 2a. 9d. per box.—Of all Stores. I Printed by the Proprietors, Western Mail Limited, and published by fhem at their offices, St. Mary-street. Cardiff, at theiro (lee, Cattle Bailey-street, Swansea: :)*. the shop of Mrs. Wesley Williams, Bridg I-all in the County of Glamorgan; at the Mail" Offices, Newport; at the shop o, Mr. J. P. Caffrey, Monmouth, both in the < -ty of Monmouth; and at the shop of Mr. I '^aviest Llanelly, in the County of Carmarthen. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17, 1898.

(Continued from Column 2.) "My darling Jenny,—What do you think? One of our men has had the exceedingly bad taste to f ill ill, and I am obliged to take his place; so that I shall not be able to see ray darling on Wednesday. Can I exist for another week with- out seeing you? No, I cannot, Jenny, so, being denied Blackbery-lane, I shall visit the kitchen. I How sweet 'twould be, my darling Jane, When yoa and I went roaming, A picking blackberries in the lane Or kissing in the gloaming. If I had three stripes upon my sleeve And thirty bob a week or more, Ah, then, my Jenny need not grieve, She'd share my house and humble store." How do you like these verses, Jenny? I shall have done more by the time I see you, and will make up a tune to them. Good-bye now, my darling, and pray for a murder, a robbery, or any other terrible case in which I may be able to distinguish myself and become a ser- geant —Yours, with a thousand kisses, "JOHN." "P.S.—I don't put crosses—they're vulgar.' (Laughter.) "Did you receive that letter from the defen- dant?" "Yes." "And he has over aAd over again promised to marry you?" "Yes, dozens of times." Then Miss Jenny was taken in hand by Jones's counsel. "Now, on your oath. Miss Jenkins, did my client ever promise to marry you unless on the condition of becoming a sergeant?" "He was always talking about us having a home of our own and not always talking about being a sergeant." "But you quite understood that you were not to be married until he got his stripes?" "He used to say something of the kind, but I would not be fool enough to wait so long." "What, you don't believe in long engage- ments?" "No, I don't, not the least bit. I'm sure we should have been married within the year if it weren't for that other girl." "What other girl?" "Hasn't he told you that he's got another girl now? (Laughter in court.) Oh, he's deceiving even his own lawyer." (Continued laughter.) "Well, supposing he has another girl, it is only tit for tat. What about Willie Morgan, eh? I have you now, Jenny." "What about Willie Morgan? He's a very nice boy-better looking than John by a long shot, and not half so poetical. Willie can write a straight letter, but, as for your precious client, even a lawyer could not understand some of his stuff." "So you've received letters you can't under- stand—why not have put them in evidence?" "Where would be the good? But look at that and see what you can make out of it?" (Laughter.) Then Jenny handed him the last letter she received-a copy of which I have given above— and the reading of it was received with hearty laughter in court, even the judge and jury joining in. "This letter is certainly not very plain, Miss Jenny," resumed the lawyer, "but we must not forget Willie Morgan. Now, were you not engaged to Willie all the time you were carry- ing on with Jones?" "No; I never had a ring from him." "Did you have a ring from Jones?" "Yes, he wrote me a ring of verses—all round in a circle-and told me they were more pre- cious than gold." (Laughter.) "Did not Willie Morgan come into the kitchen one night, kiss you before my client's eyes, and announce himself to be your sweetheart." "He did; but, then, John forgave me after that. He said he would forgive me for ten kisses." "Did you give him the kisses?" "I was going to do so when the mistress came in; she'll tell you so herself." "Now, is it not a fact that you and Will Morgan have made it up again? Have you not seen him many a time since, and is he not helping you on with this case?" "I have seen him many times, because be promised to give evidence for me. You better ask him if we've made it up. I don't know." "What! Willie was in court when you paid him that nice compliment? Oh, Jenny, Jenny, not worth a penny-" "Don't, please," said Jenny, "I've have had enough of poetry." I will not go through the whole of the evi- dence. It will be sufficient to say that even Morgan admitted that Jones's promise of mar- riage was contingent on his becoming a ser- geant. Then Jenny's counsel spoke, making a Buzfuz kind of speech in which he stigmatised the conduct of my friend as heartless and repulsive in the highest degree- evidently making a great impression on the jury. Then came Jones's counsel. I will give an extract from his speech:- "From all this it is clear, gentlemen, that my client was only indulging in that kind of flirta- tion which it has always been the privilege of the guardians of public order to carry on with the cooks and serving maids to be found on their respective beats. Gentlemen, the life of a policeman would be intolerable without some relaxation of the kind. If my client did, as a jest, speak of marrying the girl, it was always on the contingency that he became a sergeant. Who knows whether or no he shall ever attain that rank?" 'At this point a circumstance struck me which, by its very importance, almost took my breath away. I leant forward, and whis- pered to the counsel, who, to the astonishment of everybody, broke into a hearty laugh. Presently he resumed his speech, piling up the agony more and more until of a sudden he came to a pause, and, looking towards the jury and then at the judge, added in a slow, measured voice: — "And, besides all this, gentlemen, my client has not yet attained the age of twenty-one years, and the case is at an end." Yes, it was true enough. Both Jones and myself had overlooked the fact that he was not of age, and, therefore, in a legal sense not responsible for his actions. Jenny was furious, and held up her little fists at Jones as he left the court. 'J"T