Evening Express

COMPLETED STORY. The Story Tellers' Club.-No. 34. >. 1 BY J. LOUGHMORE, I Author of "The Bells of Castle Grange," "Mickey Morgan." Ac., M "Since the respectable trade of smuggling died out amongst us," remarked a. member of th e Story-tellers' Club one night, "half the romance has been taken out of our lives." "But are you quite sure it has died out?" asked another. "For my part, unless I am to call some of my friends liars, I have recently smoked smuggled cigars and drunk smuggled brandy and wine." "Depend upon it," said Mr. Evans, a Cus- toms' officer, "that there is still a good deal of contraband trading carried on in this country, and if you care to listen to an experience of my own in Cardiff you will be convinced of the truth of what I say. Many of you might re- member the case, though the parties concerned were able to prevent the matter becoming too public." Mr. Evans's recital was as follows:- A CASE OF SMUGGLING. It is now about four years since the events I am about to relate to you took place. I was then, as now, a Customs' officer in the dis- trict. Somehow it got whispered amongst us that a. good deal of contraband tobacco was entering Cardiff, and in some unexplained way .1 the rumour reached our headquarters in Lon- don. Personally, I did not believe a word of the report, but, being reckoned a smart kind of individual, I was told off by Mr. Joliffe, my chief, to make special inquiries into the matter, or, rather, to assist him in doing so. "Before you begin, Evans," he said, "I want to And out if you really believe in those re- ports." "To tell you the truth, sir. I do not," I re- plied, "though I am prepared to work as if I did." "Then the first thing you have to do," he continued, "is to make yourself believe. To doubt what they say at headquarters is a sin; and. besides, I have known few cases in which such reports were not founded on fact." "From this moment, sir, I am convinced that a considerable quantity of contraband tobacco is being received at this port, and I shall do all in my power to find out the receiver, as well as the methods employed by his accom- plices." "That's a beginning, and now I expect you to work tooth and nail in the matter. It will be a feather in your cap if you can prove the Somerset House people to be in the right. I shall do all I can to assist you-but don't depend upon me—follow your own course, and when you have something tangible to report come to me." I had not been very long at the Cardiff port at that time, and was very little known to the people around the docks. Where was I to begin? I had not the remotest idea, and made up my mind to trust a good deal to chance. I began to see a possible smuggler in every face I came across, and to fancy each particular Cardiffian as engaged in a conspiracy against the well-being of her Majesty's Customs. For several days I walked about the docks and tobacco shops, vainly endeavouring to alight on some idea. or clue that would serve as a starting point. I was now growing feverish in my desire to discover something. What with so much suspecting I had brought myself to the belief that smuggling was going on. and if I could not succeed in discovering it I should no longer be able to hoid up my head amongst my fellows, many of whom envied me the task that had been entrusted to me. I could not sleep at night with thinking about that con- founded tobacco, and, as a consequence, began to walk about at night. This was, of course, what I ought to have done at the beginning, as from time immemorial the smuggling fraternity have adopted the ways of owls as to the hours of their labour. One evening I was walking along the cliffs at Penarth, still meditating on the subject, which filled my thoughts night and day. With a view of bringing about such a state of fatigue as would induce sleep, I determined to walk to Lavernock, and back again to Cardiff. It was the summer-time, and there was scarcely a. ripple on the water. A small steamer was making her way in between the Flat Holm and Lavernock. I was watching her movements in a half-unconscious kind of way, when I thought I saw some object hoisted over the side. The boat was near enough for me to fancy I could see a splash in the water, but of this I was not sure. It was now getting dark, and I made up my mind to return to Cardiff. The following morning my chief called me into his office. 17 suppose," said he. "if yon had discovered anything you would have come to me before now?'" "Certainly, air; I am sorry to say I have dis- covered nothing." "Well, Evans, I should be sorry to take the matter out of your hands, but if you cannot bring me news within a week I must put on another man." "All right, air." I said, "I am greatly afraid it will be the same story a week hence." "And yet," he continued, "I have found out beyond all doubt that tobacco is being intro- duced here, and, what's more, I have a good idea of where it fences from." "May you not tell me what you know. sir? The knowledge might easily put me on the right acent." "All I can tell you is. keep a sharp look out on all boats coming from the Mediterranean- particularly Spanish boats." An hour later I found that the boat I had seen passing Lavernock the night before came from Marseilles, and that she had called at Mahon, in Minorca, and Palma, in Majorca, for oranges. I knew enough of tobacco growing to be aware that a consider- able quantity of coarse leaf is raised in the centre of the fcrmer island, and it at once suggested itself to me that the object I had seen thrown overboard might in some way be connected with the alleged tobacco smuggling. The supposition seemed remote and improbable, but far want of any more reasonable theory it seemed to occupy my thoughts at the time. Why, I asked myself, had I not at once taken a boat and gone to the point where I fancied I had seen the splash in the w.tter? I could still, I thought, locate the point very well. as from where I stood I bad noticed the position of the ship in relation to the Flat and Steep Holmes, both of which were visible. That morn- ing I went to Penarth, and, taking a canple of men from the coastguard, sailed out to the suspected point. We were about three hours coursing about without being able to see any- thing more suspicious than a couple of small blocks of wood teemed about in the water. I took very little notice of them at first, but, encountering them again and again, it struck me that they had scarcely changed their posi- tion since I caught the first view of them. I pulled up beside one of them, and found to my great joy that there was a rope attached to it-that it was, in fact. anchored, and merely served as a buoy to indicate or communicate with some heavier body below. The other blcck of wood was fixed in the qame way. The truth at last dawned upon me. Without doubt, some contraband goods had been sunk there, and would, no dou')t, be sought for that very night by the people for whom they were intended. But why had they not been taken away the night before? Possibly, there may have been several of such bodies sunk there or there- abouts, and the consignees had not had time to carry all away. In any case I determined to go on to Cardiff at once, leaving a man on the shore to see that nobody interfered with the buoys. This was confoundedly bad policy, as I had afterwards reason to know. Scarcely had we landed at Penarth when a small boat, crossing from the direction of the Flat Holm, steered past the place. The man on shore told me afterwards that the boat scarcely made any perceptible stop, but, at any rate, when we returned we found the blocks of wood gone—the ropes had evidently been cut. As the chief was with me on this occasion my mortification was beyond all bounds. Still. I could not see that I was very much to blame. To find the contraband goods -tobacco or whatever they might be—was only a minor point compared to finding th3 smug- glers themselves. It was natural enough to fancy that they would that same night make an effort to bring the goods to shore, and that would be the time for pouncing upon them. The chief agreed with me in this, and was good enough to say that he should have acted in the same manner himself- not suspecting that our movements may have been watched. One of the coastguard n\en had sem through his glasses '.tie two boatmen who had presumably cut the ropes, and knew them, but as he had not T.itao?s»d the act itself the knowledge was of little use to us. Our next work would be to drag all round where the blocks of wood iad been in hopes of being able to pick up the ropes or the goods themselves. As our movements were now clearly suspected, there was little use in endeavouring to '.reserve secrecy, so, taking advantage of low water, we set about the drag- ging operations at once. Fortunately, we \ele not long in picking up the ropes, and seen after hoisted up four large cases, two attached to each rope. True enough, we found the cases half filled with tobacco leaf, weighted down by quantities of spirits, some fifty overproof. The outer cases were of rough wood, but inside were hermetically sealed tin vessels which pre- served the contents intact. There was abso- lutely no indication as to the name of the con- signee, but as the suspected vessel was in the dock at Cardiff we had a reasonable hope of getting at the bottom of the matter, and of making the owners of the vessel suffer. It was here where my chief's information became of use to us. Walking along the street one day we saw a French sailor come out of a well- known tobacco shop, light a cigar, and the next moment throw it into the gutter. "Sacre," said the Frenchman, "who would think of finding Minorca tobacco in Cardiff?" Mr. Joliffe picked up the discarded cigar, bcught a few more of its kind, and sent them on to London. Word came back in due course that the cigars were, undoubtedly, made of Minorca leaf, which must have come to Cardiff through illegitimate channels. What with the infcnnation in our hands and a considerable show of bounce we got to the bottom of the matter, and enriched her Majesty's revenue by some hundreds of pounds. So you see that smuggling is not yet so much a thing of the past amongst us, and for aught any of us know there may be many who make con- siderable fortunes at the present day by the trade.

UfAY orRELL ON RAW AMERICANS. SOMB AMUSING- ANECDOTES AND IMPRESSIONS. This is the amusing fashion in which Max O'Rell discourses on the "Raw Americans" Politics in America is a liberal profession- very liberal for those who exercise it. As in England, there are two great political parties, but instead of calling themselves Conservatives and LiberaJa they are called Republicans and Democrats. The difference existing between these gentlemen is this:—The former are in power and want to remain there; the others fcre out and want to get in. Everything the me party may do is condemned in advance by the other, whether good or bad. That is party- atism. Good society in America prudently keeps fcloof from politics and politicians. When a. tootman announces to his master that a, poli- tician is in the drawing-room his master whis- pers in his ear: John, lock up the silver wa,re and see that nothing goes out of the house." The American democracy is no exception to Mie rule. To become a chemist one studies chemistry; to become a lawyer it is customary to study law. But in a democracy to become a politician it is only necessary to study one's own interests. Strong Men in Politics. Enlightened men, educated and well bred. do not care to be confounded with the heroes of the public squares. Financiers and rich mer- chants are too much occupied to bother them- selves with politics. Senators and Represen- tatives are elected by the rabble, and good society says: "No, thanks. I'll stay at home." This is how it happens that the country is ruled by flamboyant mediocrity, and that it suffices for a respectable man to "go into poli- tics" to become unclassed. A man must reach the White House to in- spire a small degree of respect. But what then? The American gentleman hasn't the least ambition to see himself dragged in the mud, to hear himself dubbed "honest John" or "joyous Aleck." He appreciates the pleasantry, but if you call him Senator or member of Congress he will bring you into court for defamation of character. The President of the United States, despite his recognised capability and integrity, can- not escape the enmity which is felt for politi- cians among respectable men. When people asked me over there what celebrities I had met I usually replied:— In the first place, I have had the honour to pay my respects to your President." "You are a Foreigner." Invariably I missed my point. "Ah! really," they would say; 'but, of course, you are a foreigner." Thus they excused me, and did not go to the extreme of forbidding me to enter their houses. The United States to-day is governed by the Irish. The Germans, Swedes, Hollanders, and other foreign elements that arrive each year to seek an existence in the new world go to the West. The Irish stop in the big cities, con- gregate there, and go into politics. The city of New York, which has been successively conquered by the Dutch, the English, and the Yankees, is to-day under the sway of the Irish. New York is the real ca,pital of Ireland. A Little Anecdote. A little anecdote will illustrate the point: A friend of mine with his wife was walking one day on the magnificent banks of the Lakes of Kaiarney. They met a countrywoman who was Jtnrnxnc candles before a roadside Virgin. k,e Liah& a candle," said the Iriah woman, "and ma&e any wigh you please. God will grant it instantly." The young woman, a good Protestant, refused, and excused herself by saying that she was happy and had nothing to wish for. Ah! my dear child," cried the old woman, can you not wish that you may be ever thus?" At this my friend's wife paid her threepence and lighted a candle. One can scarcely be expected, after a sojourn of six months in America, to give an opinion of any value on its political system. But it is my opinion that England is a freer country than the United States, and that the consti- tutional monarchy—I was about to say Re- public-of England is preferable to the autho- ritative democracy of America. The constitution of the United States was copied from that which existed in England in 1776, and by it the President received about the same powers as were enjoyed by George III. The English have advanced, the Americans have not budged. Where there is no advance there is retrogression. The English of to-day would show their Queen the door if she took a fancy to demand from her people such powers as are claimed and exercised by the President of the United States. At Their Servants' Mercy. For four years the Americans are at the mercy of their servants. Scarcely have these served their apprenticeship in Government whin they are succeeded by another set of green- horns. Only novices are in office-politicians. but no statesman. There is constant talk of reforms in America. But how obtain them? Public opinion there has only a secondary influence on politics. The English can effect a reform in much less time than the Americans. In England the men in office are the servants of the public; in America they are the masters. The Eng- lish Parliament is directly influenced by public opinion, it is not at all so with the American Congress, and the representatives of the people rarely render any account to their electors. During four years the President holds abso- lute power. He can declare war and stop all legislation. Imagine a king who, after four years in office, retires into complete obscurity, and is forgotten except as his features appear on a note or postage stamp! The Americans choose a President every four years A national election is the most serious phaso of American life. The entire nation is seized with delirium. Several months before election day the minds of the people are con- centrated on the election. The newspapers fill their columns with it; there is no other subject of conversation. Passions are let loose, intrigues are hatched, odious calumnies about the candidates are put in circulation—no means is omitted to secure victory. During the three or four weeks imme- diately preceding the vote speeches, fire- works. and torchlight processions fill the air. As soon as the ballot decides between the can- didates a period of calm ensues, all murmuring ceases, everybody shakes hands, the vanquishe I accept their defat with as much galla-ilry a? they have shown in the contest, and each man goes back to his ordinary pursuits. The United States have merited their name. The Union is a solid verity. It rests on the con- sent of the people. The nation is a I tion of over forty Republics. Each gt-te has its own governor and two legislative Chambers, so that each is able to govern itself as it thinks best. In one State, for instance, divorce can be obtained only on the ground of marital unfaithfulness, and in another a fellow can get a divorce if he proves that his wife doesn't k«. ow how to cook his cutlet. The law in one State does not consider drunkenness as a misdemean- our; in another the sale of alcoholic drink is forbidden. And all these States, having the power to administer their affairs in their own way, live in perfect accord the one with the other. But all the same there is no doubt that Ens- land is the freest country on the globe.

I COMICALITIES—ORIGINAL AND OTHERWISE. r "Just look at the colour of the water. Why, it's not fit tA drink," said an indignant "com- mercial" to the waiter at a. hotel in Derby- shire. "Excuse me, sir. you are mistaken; it's the glass what's dirty." It is nearly safe to say that the most dis- appointed man in the wide, wide world is the man who expects to get a letter by a particular post from his girl and receives instead a bill from his tailor. Bridget: Mr. Hawkins is at the door, Miss Mollie. Harrington: Let Bridget tell him you are engaged, won't you, Miss Bronson, as I have something particular-. Miss Bronson: Oh, he knows I am engaged, because, you see, I'm engaged to him. Show him in, Bridget. A little schoolmistress named Beauchamp Said, "These dreadful boys! How shall I teauchamp ? For they wil not behave, Although I look grave, And with tears in my eyes I beseauchamp." Mamma: I wonder what your papa is stamp- ing about? Little Boy: I don't know. I didn't go into his room, 'cause he acted cross. Mamma: Maybe he can't find his razor. Little Boy: Yes, he can, 'cause I put it right back where he keeps it, soon as I finished taking up tacks, Friend (to golfing enthusiast): But isn't the game rather tiresome? You have to cover a good deal of ground. Golfer: Yes; but one doesn't mind that-his mind is so taken up with trying to think of the dialect. "How old are you, Johnny?" "Six." "Ever been ill?" "Yes." Often?" "No." "Have you ever had the doctor?" "Yes." "How often?" "Just once." "How long ago was that?" "'Bout six years ago." "What was the matter then?" "I was getting borned." Excited Individual (rushing into restaurant): I paid for my dinner just now, and went out leaving my pocket-book on the table. It con- tained over £600, principally in notes of large denomination. Proprietor (calmly): The waiter has it, sir. He thought you meant it for a tip. A few years ago the creditors of a well-known artist had a meeting, and submitted to him a proposition, which was refused. Another meet- ing resulted in a second proposition, and the artist likewise refused to consider that. "But, Mr. at last spoke up one exasperated man, "we are merely trying to get you out of your difficulties." "My .difficulties!" the artist re- plied. appearing greatl yastonished. "My diffi- culties. did I understand you to say? Why, gentlemen, these are not my difficulties-they are yours." It wag a Jewish landlord who raised the rent of one of his houses became the walls bulged out, and, therefore, made the house larger. "What is the idea of calling a consultation of physicians?" "Oh, that's when the doctor who originally took the case can't think of any more excuses to give the family." Biddy: Sure, the masther is not at home, sor. Caller: I'm sorry, for I wanted to pay him a little bill I owe him. Biddy: In that case, sor, I'll ask him agin. Mrs. Mayson: I can't think where that boy got his bad temper; not from me, I'm sure. Mr. Mayson: No, my dear, for I don't perceive you've lost any. A Scotsman was hired by a Cheshire farmer. At breakfast one of the famous cheeses of the county was set before him. His master left the Scot at table, and later, when he appeared for work, said to him— "Sandy, you take a long time at your break- fast?' "Troth, master," replied the Scot, "a :>r3e"e o' that size is nae so soon eaten as ye wLy think." Sportsman: Is there anything to shoot down here, my boy? Schoolboy (with the afternoon's chastisement still fresh in his memory): Yes, sir, there's tha schoolmaster coming over the hill. I Would-be: What does a marriage licence cost? Bias-been: Well, really, it's hard to tell till you've tried one for fifteen or twenty years. Student: Before leaving the institution I wish to express my gratitude for the instruc- tion I have received. To you, professor, I owe all I know. Professor: You are very kind, but 4t is hardly worth mentioning. Country Cousin (visiting in the city): Well, there's sense in this rule, anyhow. City Cousin: What is it. Jack? Country Cousin: Why, this book on etiquette rays that a gentleman should always reure from the parlour backwards. That's so they can't get a chance to kick him. Winkle: I wonder what becomes of all the boys who have to leave the country and enter the great struggle of life in the city? Kinkle: They make big fortunes, and then lie back in their easy chairs and advise couat'y boys to stick to the farm. "Are you a single man?" asked a lawyer cf a stolid-looking German in the witness-box. "Now you look oud," was the indignant reply, "but don'd you try to make no shoka mit me yoost because I vas green. Do I look like I vas a double man? I vas no fool if i an- not long in dis guntry."

WAR STORIES. An imposing-looking individual came into the lotel at Chattanooga, clad in some sort of fancy uniform. "That's General Wade," said :he man who knows it all and ought to be on the Board of Strategy. "You're mistaken," laid the quiet man, "that's the agent of a )icycle house in Chicago." At the battle of Sacramemto, during the liexican expedition. Uncle John Shouse, who g still living in Washington, Mo., was detailed o hold horses. Just then Colonel Doniphan ■ode by and Shouse said to him: "See here, Jolonel. did I come out here to hold horses?" rhe Colonel replied: "Yes, sir, if you are ietailed for that purpose." "Hold hell," said Shouse; "not in a fight," and he turned the lorses loose and went to fighting Mexicans. There is a story of a politician wnose reminiscences of the civil war were so profuse md heroic that a jealous rival undertook to ook up his record. To his amazement he round that the man had never been enlisted. Determined to overwhelm him with this dis- covery he waited until the orator was before a. large audience and then sneeringly pro- pounded a question something like this: 'You've got a good deal to say about the war. Now tell us what part you had in the war." 'By sir," retorted the orator, "I had a heap to do with it, sir; I helped bring it on." One day during the recent encampment of troops at Camp Ramsay Governor Clough was waited upon by a delegation of officers from the camp, who suggested that they thought it would make the outfit look a good deal more formidable if they could have some ordnance out there. The Governor beat a hasty exit and inquired of his private secretary what possible relief the suffering camp could need in the way of ordinances, and what the Gover- nor had to do with ordinances anyway. The pri- vate secretary was almost as puzzled as the Governor, bui finally tumbled to the fact that it was ordnance and not ordinances that they wanted. He explained this and the chief exe- cutive turned on his heel, inquiring: "Why in —— don't they say cannon, then?"

GREAT JAPANESE PYRO- TECHNIST. In Nagasaki, Japan, there is a fireworks maker who manufactures pyrotechnic birds of great size, which, when exploded, sail in a life- like manner through the air, and perform many movements exaotly like those of living birds. The secret of making these wonderful things has been in the possession of the eldest child of the family of each generation for more than 400 years.

OUR DAILY CARTOON. A Word to the Police. I DAME WALES:—Not so fast, young man; you are here to keep the peace-not to break it. I .iM.

r"\ v Worth of £ 9Qnt0be Given Bicycles ^tr £ uU Away. The Proprietors of the Evening Express have determined upon another Great Gift of Bicycles. They will give, as an AUGUST BANK HOLIDAY Present, to the young lady employed at a Hotel or Licensed House Bar in each of the following districts of Wales who obtains the largest number of votes A STANDARD (1898) n' < f mce, Rudge-Whitworth List Bicycle j ZE20. I. Winner to select her own Machine at Com- pany's Depot. 108, St. Mary-street, Cardiff, or have one Built to Order if preferred. fABKBAMAN 1 CENTRAL WAED MOUMT AiN ASH 2 SOUTH WARD ) PENKHlWCElW t f9 i ABEllCYNON 3 £ RIVERSIDE YNVSYBVVL L.CXLFYMYDD 4 x ARK. 10 f PONTYPRIDD ( AI 'AMb.DOWN (.TiiJKFORFST 5-J SPLOTT 5-J SPLOTT GRANGE rTBKHEBBEET r" | TBEOBXY ,fPE:NARTH j YtiTRAI) 6 X COGAN LLWYNYPIA (MEBTHYB 11PENYGBA1U 7 < DOW LAIS tOliT H (.AUER1URE J IKEALAW „ CLYNFI UDINAS CGAEW & OGMORE 8-5 VALLEYS (BAKRY BRIDGETSID 12\ BARRY DOCK Vabebavon Ccadoxton 13. f Any other rown or District iu Wales other 14. t. than the above-mentioned. It will be observed that certain wards and towns have been bracketed together for the purpose of this competition. The places thus bracketed will be dealt with as constituting only one constituency, and the bicycle will be awarded to the lady obtaining the greatest number of coupons in that district. Any coupop bearing a lady's name (not already on the published list up to the day of senoirt*) must, be accompanied by the lady s written consent to be entered in the com- pttition. Conditions and Mode of Voting. There will appear in the "EVENING EXPRESS" each day a Coupon, which must DO filled up, cut out. and sent to the "Evening Express" Office, marked outside the envelope, "Bicycle Competition." Every Coupon will bear the date of issue of the paper in which it appears, and no Coupon will he eligible for registration which is not delivered at this office within seven days of the date of issue. The valid Coupons will be registered, and a list of the ladies who stands highest on the poll in each of the places or groups of towns enumerated will be published daily. Tue last day on which Coupons will be printed will be WEDNESDAY, JULY 27, and Coupons will be received up to Five p.m. on Thursday, July 28. As many Coupons as the friends of the Various Candidates choose to send in will be received daily up to the close of the Competi- tion. The Coupon will be found on the left-hand corner of our. second page. I

THE DENSEST POPULATION. The greatest density of the population in the world is claimed for Bombay, and is only disputed by Agra. The population of Bombay amounts to 760 persons per acre in certain areas, and in these sections the street area only occupies one-fourth of the whole. If the entire population massed in the streets for any purpose, the density would equal 3,040 persons per acre.

IMPORTANT TO MARRIED LADIES.—Send Stamped Addressed Envelope for most valuable Particulars and Testimonials (which are guaranteed genuine under a penalty of £ 1,000).— Beware of imitators. —A. DASMAIL, Box 387, Langdale, Walthamstow, London. Established balf a. century. e6826

CRICKET COMPETITION. ENTRANCE FEE TWOPENCE. All the Money for the Best Coupon. O To the reader of the "Evening Express" who predicts, or most nearly predicts, the result of the following cricket matches, to be played during next week, we will award all the Entramce Fees of the Competition. With each Coupon must be enclosed twopence in stamps, and the amount thus obtained will be given to the competitor who sends in the best coupon. CONDITIONS. If the competitor predicts a draw, he must not erase either name. If the competitor predicts a win, he must strike out the name of the losing team. If for any cause a match be abandoned it will be considered a "dra.w." Coupons must reach this office by first post on Monday morning, and the winner or winners will be announced in our issue on the following Monday. Competitors must write upon the envelopes containing their coupons "Cricket Competition." Competitors may send as many coupons as they like, but each coupon must be accom- panied by twopence in stamps. Other conditions as in racing competition. CRICKET SKILL COUPON. (TO BE SENT IN BY MONDAY, JUNE 27.) SURREY V. SOMERSET. (Commencing Monday, June 27). NOTTS V. KENT. (Commencing Monday, June 27). LANCASHIRE V. MIDDLESEX. (Commencing Monday, June 27). OXFORD V. CAMBRIDGE. (Commencing Thursday, June 30). LANCASHIRE V. NOTTS. (Commencing Thursday, June 30). YORKSHIRE V. LEICESTERSHIRE (Commencing Thursday, June 50). Name Address N.B.—In consequence of complaints as to the difficulty of predicting the exact scores of various cricket matches, we have decided to simplify the competition, and in future com- petitors wiil only be required to predict the name of the winning team or a. draw.

POPULAR METHODS OF SUICIDE. Dr. Whitcombe. of Birminghom, has just published an analysis of 390 cases of suicide that have come under his personal notice during the last few years. On the whole, it appears that men prefer shooting or hanging as a. means of quitting this world. Women rarely resort to hanging, and never to shoot- ing; they pin their faith to drowning. The number of poisons used was seventeen. Of these, as has been the case now for ten years. carbolic acid claims the most victims, although, curiously enough, carbolic acid is by no means particularly accessible, and death by its means is most painful. Nine persons ended their sorrows by the help of prussic acid, and two each by strychnine, chloral, and cyanide of potassium.

CADBURY'8 COCOA is absolutely pure, being entirely free from kola, malt. hops, alkali. or any foreign admixture. CautionThe public should insist on having C-ADBURY'S—sold only in Packets and Tins—as other Cocoas are often substituted for the sake of extra profit. e3435-4

JE50_PRIZE. j Racing Predictions. To the reader who predicts the Winning Horse in each of the Races named in the subjoined Coupon the Proprietors of the "Evening Express" will Award a. Prize of JS50. If more than one campetitor is correct, the money will be divided amongst those who have sent in correct coupons. If no competitor is correct. A CONSOLATION PRIZE OF JS10 Will be awarded to the competitor whose pre- dictions are adjudged by the Editor to be nearest to the correct result, or, in the event of a tie. the money will be divided. CONDITIONS. Opposite the name or each Race in the Coupon write the name of the horse you select. Place the Coupon in an envelope, beating the \rords, Racing Competition,' and addressed to the Evening Expreaa Office, Cardiff. Send as many Coupons as you like, but every Coupon must be accompanied by an Entrance Fee of TWOPENCE in Stamps. Sums of One Shilling and upwards may be in postal orders. Write your name and address clearly in the space provided for that purpose on each Coupon. Coupons must reach the Evening Express" Office by the first post NEXT THURSDAY Morning, and the result, will be announced the tollcwing Holiday. Tne entries for the Racea will be ioond beneath the Coupon. Ihe decision of the Editor must be accepted as absolutely final. No member of the "Evening Express" or "Western Mail" staff will be allowed to compete. [Particulars of the next competition will appear as soon as possible.]

STRANGE STORY OF A MISSING DEED. Martin West," in telling of the troubles of parsons in The Church Gazette," tells a rather pathetic story, He," says the writer, like so many country parsons, is a keen antiquary. To clear up a point he requested the loan of a. valuable deed from a stranger, who courteously lent it. This was years ago. It came by regis- tered post, and he signed the receipt with his own hand. He took it into his study, and had commenced to read and note it, when he was ciillerl away for breakfast. When he returned tho deed was gone! He searched high and low, but it has never been found from that day to this. Suspecting rats, he has had the floors taken up and the skirting removed, much to the diijeomfort of his family, who. not caring for antiquities before, now hate the sight of everything more than twenty years old. He wrote and trfd the owner of the deed, who replied that the thing was impossible, and that it must be found or trouble would ensue. All offer of compensation was refused. At irregular intervals letters came, sometimes from the owner, oftener from the solicitor. The owner calls my friend a thief in plain words, the solicitor hints at the shameful dock." A 8 it was winter time, the theory is that the he use maid used the deed to assist the drawing-room fire- anyhow, its loss has made my friend an unh'appv man. He is getting to doubt whether he is not a thief and a. liar." ==

RÂ V AGES OF ALCOHOLISM. The ravages of alcoholism in France are in- deed terrible. Two ,do«tors who have made the macfer their special study declare that an alarming proportion of French workmen begin their day by drinking bad brandy, mixed or unmixed with falsified syrups, and more fre- quently raw absinthe The dose is repeated in the forenoon, and again after work. Rouen is. it is stated, the most bibulous city in France, and there the plague has reached women and children through the "soup l'alcohol," composed of crusts of bread upon which boiling coffee, or rather chicory, is poured. The compound is then completed by pouring in half a litre of potato spirit.

EPPS'S COCOAINE.—Cocoa-Nib Extract. (Tea- like).-The dvicest roasted nibs (broken up beans) of the intural Cocoa, on being subjected to powerful hydrauuc pressure, give forth their excess of oil, leaving for use a finely flavoured powder—" Cocoaine, a product which, when prepared with boiling water, has the consistence of tea, of which it is now, with many, bene- ficially taking the place. Its active principle being a gentle nerve stimulant, supplies the needed energy without unduly exciting the system. Sold only m labelled tins. If unable to obtain it of your tradesman, a tin will be sent. postiree, for 9 stamps.—James Epps and Co. (Ltd.), Homoeopathic Chemists. London. e6395-f.

OUR FREE GIFT OF BOOKS TO EVERY READER OF THE "EVENING EXPRESS." We are presenting gratis to every regular reader of the "Evening Express" one of the following high-class, cloth-bound, and gold- lettered standard works of English literature:- Shakspeare's Complete Plays and Sonnets; "Vanity Fair," by Thackeray; "The Caxtons," by Lord Lytton; "Ernest Maltravers," by Lord Lytton; "Alice, Or the Mysteries," by Lord Lytton; "Ivanhoe," by Sir Walter Scott; "The Scarlet Letter," by Hawthorne; "Mary Barton," by Mrs. Gasket; "Lays of the Scottish Cava- liers," by Aytoun; "Jane Eyre," by Charlotte Bronte. The boots will be given away at the rate of 36 every day until every reader has received one. Upon the top of the Second Page of the "Evening Express" each day will be found a number, printed in violet ink, which number will be different in every paper that is printed. Keep this number till the following day, and see if it is given in the list printed below. If your number is given, take it to either of our offices at Swansea, Newport, Merthyr, or Cardiff, and you will receive either of the above books. If you cannot conveniently call, tear off the purple number and send it to the "Evening Express" Office, Cardiff, with your name and address and twopence towards the cost of postage, and the book chosen by you will be forwarded to your address. No person is entitled to a second book, even though he be the holder of a selected number, until every reader has received a book. Purchasers of THURSDAY'S "Evening Ex- press" Bearing the Following Numbers Printed in Violet Ink on the Top Left-hand Corner of Page 2 Are Entitled to a. Book:— 124352 124444 127951 128121 132186 132574 133076 133658 137447 137937 138276 138831 139576 143134 143736 144441 144938 145187 147854 148481 148926 149668 150274 151515

STRANGE UPS AND DOWNS OF LIFE. The ups and downs of life are often vividly illustrated. In the Midland capital there are elderly men working as clerks in factories they once owned, and little hucksters' shops are kept by people who cnce drove their carriages. But a singular, even romantic, incident occurred the other day. A gentleman who has taken a. nice residence in the Edgbaston district advertised for a gardener, and the first applicant was a man well on in years, with grey hair, and rather a broken-oo .n appearance. When brought face to face with his prospective employer the latter started in amazement, for he knew the man. Years ago the candidate for the gardener's position was a rich merchant, living in a large house, and keeping several servants, and actually em- ploying the man before him as a page boy. But rash speculations had caused heavy losses, a taste for tippling made business neglected. and gradually the erstwhile merchant had fallen lower and lower, until he was glad to seek a job as gardener. On the other hand, the page boy-always a smart lad-had gone out to Australia when young, done fairly well there, and had subsequently gone to South Africa in time to benefit by the Kaffir boom. He had returned to Birmingham, and by one of Life's little ironies found himself in a position to give his old master a berth. There Is quite a Sunday School moral to this story; which, however, is perfectly true.

MUST WEAR SUNDAY CLOTHES. The burgomaster of Schkeuditz has recently supplemented the law by an edict requiring the public under his administration to attire them- selves on Sunday in a costume worthy of the majesty of the day consecrated to the Lord." In defiance of this regulation a saddler called Engelmann took it into his head to walk the streets on Sunday in his working clothes. The report does not state if he possessed any others. This contumacious person was accordingly brought to a justice, find three marks, and condemned to a day's imprisonment as punish- ment for the public scandal. This decision has been set aside on appeal, but in doing this the court censured him for incorrect and un- seemly behaviour," I

A SPOTLESS COMPLEXION.-Sulpholine Lotion clears off all imperfections in a few days. Pimples, Roughness, Tan, Uncomfortable Skin Disfigurements entirely fade away, leaving a beautiful skin. Shilling Bottles of Sulpholine everywhere. e—4 There is no such Strength Reviver as Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters, the Vegetable Tonic. Bottles 2s. 9d. and 4s. 6d. Beware of imitations. See the name Gwilym Evan*" on Label, I Stamp, and Bottle. e4919-4

FOR BOYS AND GIRLS ONLY. The "Evening Express" Boys' and Girls Club (established March 21, 1898) is formed for the purpose of promoting principles of kindness amongst young people, and for the mutual interest and instruction of its members. Boys and Girls, wherever resident, are eli- gible for membership, provided their age does not exceed sixteen years. Intending Members must fill up the sub- joined Coupon, and forward it to Uncle Joe. "Evening Express," Cardiff. Their namcs and addresses will be published, and each new Member is entitled to a beautifully designed Certificate. Cardiff Members must call for their Certificates at the "Express" Offices, St. Mary-street. Other members must forward one penny stamp for postage. Uncle Joe is always pleased to hear from his Club Members on any matter of interest, whether relating to school or recreation, and he invites questions and answers. Only Club Members are eligioie to compete for the Prize given to this column, with the exception of the Painting Competition. Children writing to Uncle Joe must always add to their names their official number as Members of the Club. I desire to be enrolled a member of the "Evening Express" Boys and Girls Club, and I hereby proml. That I will always be obedient to my parents, and kind to the aged and infirm. That I will try and help less fortunate children. That I will be kind to animals. That I will try and do something every day to make things happy for those I around me. NttiBC Address

Essay Competition. Uncle Joe wants his Nephews and Nieces to tell him all they know about the Mariner's Compass. First prize, 3s.; second prize, 2s.; third prize, a book. All essays to be in by next Monday. Winners of Uncle Joe's previous essay awards may compete, but are not eligible for prizes.

The Painting Competition. Uncle Joe wishes to call special attention to the painting competition, particulars of which a.ppear below. The time to send in the attempts will soon be here now, and those who want to compete and have not done so must hurry up. In a few days it will be no good being sorry you didn't try!

"PETER'S PARADISE." Special Offer to Our Boys and Girls. "Peter's Paradise" is a beautiful coloured pic- ture-book, published at is. 6d., but which the pro- book, published at Is. 6d., but which the pro- prietors of the Evening Express are offering to Uncle Joe's Boys and Girls at the ridiculously small sum of 2d. per copy. "Peter's Paradise" is a description in picture and verse of the Crystal Palace, and Uncle Joe assures his Nephews and Nieces that they are never likely to pick up a prettier book at so small a price. If you are a Cardiff member, and want "Peter's Paradise," you must bring to tho "Evening Express" Oince twopence and your Club certificate. The certificate is to let the clerk at the counter know you are a bona-fide member of the Club. Don't be afraid. He will not keep the certificate. You will be able to take it home again, and with it this beauti- ful book. "Peter's Paradise." Distant members must send threepence extra for postage of the book. Non-members must pay threepence if they want the book, and sixpence if they want it by post. No member of the Club can have "Peter's Paradise" for twopence without pro- ducing his or her certificate. Our Painting: Competition. Who wants to win a prize for copying one of the coloured pictures in Peter's Paradise?" We don't want drawings, but paintings. For your copies you will require tracing paper, drawing paper, and colours. The two first we shall supply gratis to every Club member pur- chasing a copy of Peter's Paradise." The colours you can get at the Scholastic Trading Co.'s establishment, 7, St. John's-square, Cardiff. Non-members of the Club must pay 3d. for their book and drawing paper, or 2d. for their book alone. Members desirous of buying paper alone must pay a penny for it, so thi9 will meet the wants of families in which there are several Club members. Now then what you have to do is, to copy one of the pictures as nicely and carefully and accurately as you can, and let Uncle Joe have it not later than the last day of June. The Club member who sends in the best copy, as judged by our artist, will get 5s.; the next best will receive a book. A similar offer is made to non-members. By this arrangement both CLub members and outsiders have a fair and equal chance, and neither of them can interfere with the opportunities of the other. How to Get to Work. To recapitulate: Copy of "Peter's Paradise" and drawing materials (except colours) to Club members on bringing their certificate to the "Evening Express" Office, Cardiff, 2d.; to non- members, 3d. Book only, 2d. Paper only kniember or non-member), Id. Best copy by a member, 5s.; 2nd best, a book. Best copy by a non-member, 5s.; 2nd best, a book. All competitions to be in by the last day of June at latest. Colours to be procured of the t-eholastic Trading Co., Cardiff. Tho cost of small box, including paints and brush, will be sixpence. The competition is in all cases limited to children not exceeding sixteen years of age. Club members resident out of Cardiff must send their Club number and THREE- PENCE for postage, in addition to the cost of the book, Ac. A last word as to how competitors are to set to work. Amongst the materials supplied to each will be found drawing paper, tracing 1 Picture in outside from Peter's Paradise." I paper, and carbon paper. Having selected your picture from "Peter's Paradise," you must lay the tracing paper on it, and trace with pencil the outlines of the picture as care- fully and accurately as you can. Having done this, place the carbon paper on the drawing paper, and the tracing paper over all, and then transfer the outline on to the drawing paper, by going over the lines with your pencil with very slight pressure. Having secured your outline, you must then colour it, keeping as nearly as possible to the original. Be as neat and clean as you can with your work. You have plenty of time in which to do it, so there is no occasion for hurry or carelessness. Send your copy when complete to "Uncle Joe,' Even- ing Express,' Cardiff," marking on the outside "Painting."

THE LITTLE PAPER BOY. "Papers! Papers! Want an evening paper, mister? 'CaJl'? No, sir, I don't sell any 'Calls,' but I sell 'Bulletins,' and if yer want the news yer'd better take one, too, I tell yer that." Jack Nolan, for it was he who had said what I have just quoted, was standing on the corner of Kearney and Market Streets. "Well, my fellow, you think the "Bulletin" the best paper, do you, or are you just saying that because you sell that paper, sonny?" said Si stylish looking man. "Can't a feller sell any paper he wants to? Do yer s'pose I don't know my biznus? Yer bet yer boots, the 'Bulletin's' the best paper agoin', and ev'rybody what knows anything says so, too," answered Jack. "Very well, then; give me one," said this nice-looking man. When he had taken his paper and walked away, Jack turned to a lad who was standing near him and said: "Gee, Flossio, wasn't he all right? Golly, I wisht all the fellers was like him. Oh, wouldn't I have a snap!" Now, there was a great difference in these two boys. Jack was a stout, freckle-faced, red- headed lad of about twelve years, and con- sidered by the other boys who sold papers the jolliest, best-natured boy of the "gang." Flossio was a pale-faced, delicate little Italian 10 boy, who had such large, wistful-looking black eyes, that every passer-by turned to look at him. He stood with his basket of fragrant violets, and looked about him in a dazed way. Had he been older than ten years maybe the other boys would have had reason to be jealous, for all the pretty girls came to him to buy their flowers. But Jack, even if he did have red hair and a freckled face, could sing out "Papers!" in just as musical a voice as any boy in Frisco. "What makes yer so still?" said he to Flossio. "People don'ta buy no flowa," answered Flossio in broken English, for he hadn't been from Italy very long. "You sella many papers?" he asked Jack." "Oh, yep, I sell a good deal," answered Jack indifferently. Just then his face turned crim- son, for he saw Maggie Dooley, the girl he thought was so sweet, walk straight up to Flossio and buy a bunch of violets. He walked down the street, but glanced over his shoulder, and saw Maggie still talking to Flossio. "That kid, I s'pose, is a-runnin" me down ter her, an' I bet my hat he's a-sayin' he wouldn't sell papers," said Jack to himself. "What's up, thet yer look so mad, Jack?" asked Pat Mack. "Oh, that dago up at the fountin makes me sick," said Jack. "What 's he bin a' doin?" asked Pat. "Oh, nothin' much, but he makes me tired, always a-sayin' sumpin' 'bout 'papes, said Jack. "What you sellin'?" asked Pat. 'Bulletins.' of course," said Jack. "What yer a-sellin'?" "Oh, I'm a-sellin' 'Posts,' but nobody seems to buy any," said Pat. "Well, no wonder. Why don't yer sell 'Bulletins'? I only got eight left, an' I had twenty. "Gee, whiz! how did you seel so many?" asked Pat. "Well, all of 'em buy 'The Bulletin,' 'cause I heerd lots o' big fellers say it wuz the only one what told things right." "Well, if I don't sell mor'n this ter morrow I'll not sell 'Posts' any more," said Pat. "Well, I s'pose I'd better git a move on," said Jack. "So long." "So long. See yer later," said Pat. "P-a-pers!" sang out Jack as he ran along. "Paper, mister?" "No, get out of my way," answered the big fellow gruffly. Jack was not at all surprised at this remark, for he was used to having men talk that way to him. "Pa-pers! Pa-pers!" he continued. "What papers do you sell, kid?" asked a pleasant looking young man. "I sell the only good paper in 'Frisco—'The Bulletin,' answered Jack. "Ah, that's right, stick to 'The Bulletin' and you're all right. Give me one and keep the change." he said as he handed Jack a quarter. "Thanks," said Jack, gratefully. "Oh, gee, I won't do a thing but take some doughnuts home fer supper," he muttered gleefully. He was so happy that he forgot that he had left Maggie talking to Flossio. He ran around until dusk, calling out, "pa-pers, papers, pa-pers," and when he started home he hadn't one paper left. "Sold out already?" asked Pat as he met Jack. "Oh, did yer see Maggie Dooley?" questioned proudly. "How many did you sell?" "Oh, I only sold four. Every feller asked me why I didn't sell 'Bulletins, said Pat sadly. "What'd I tell yer?" asked Jack. "Well, I'll sell 'Bulletins' ter morrow, yer bet," answered Pat. "Yep, did yer see Maggie Dooley?" questioned Jack. "Yep, just met her goin' home with some violets." "Just now?" asked Jack. "Yep. jest now," said Pat. "Well, so long; I have ter go," said Jack. "So long," said Pat. Jack walked hurriedly along in the direc- tion of home, and, sure enough, there was Maggie, walking just in front of him. He stopped in the baker's and bought a dozen of nice doughnuts, and then he ran to catch up witn Maggie. "Hello, Maggie," he said, as he drew near. Maggie turned around. "Oh, hello, Jack," said she. "Ain't yer bin home since I saw yer to-day?" he asked. "No," she answered; "I had to go up to see Katie Riley, and we wuz plaiyin' house." "Want a doughnut?" asked Jack. "I don't care," said Maggie. Jack gave her one, and she seemed to enjoy it very much. "Here's a few violets," said Maggie, wishing to return his kindness. "Oh. thainks," said Jack, as he pinned them on his coat. "Do you like Flossio?" he asked. "Well, I kind o'like him; but he's too little to be anybody's beau. I like to hear him talk about 'papes' she said. "Yep; he talks pretty much about 'papes,' I think. Kind o' speedy-lookin', ain't he?" remarked Jack. "Oh, he thinks he's all right," said Maggie, as she paused at the door of her home. "Good- bye, Jack," she said. "Good-bye, Maggie; comin' out ter-morrer?" said he. "Yes, I guess so," -he answered. Jack hurried home, feeling very happy. His mother had his supper all ready for him, and they both talked over his good fortune. Do you ever get tired, Jackie, dear?" asked his mother. Oh, no; not 'xactly tired, but it's purty tough when sum fellers talk mean to yer," said Jack. "Well, never mind; we won't always be so poor," said his mother. Well, anyway, I'd ruther sell papers, un' to be like that Flossio, what can't talk plain yit," said Jack. Next morning Jack was up early doing his chores, and in the afternoon he was, as usual, selling his papers. He was always so good- natured that people liked to patronise him. Flossio was at the fountain with his basket of flowers, and that same wistful look in hit eyes. Hello, Flossio," eadd Jack. "Hello," said Flossio. Sellin' any?" asked Jack. Nota mucha. People dona buy mucha flowa," he answered. Well, you'll do better when yer know more people," was Jack's consoling reply. He was o ffwith his usua lcry of: "Pa-pers, pa-pers, pa-pers." The occurrences of the day were the same as usual, and the last that was seen of Jack Nolan he was walking up Geary-street with some withered violets pinned on his coat, Maggie Dooley leaning gracefully on one arm and a. bundle of "Bulletins" under the other.

Our Bank Holiday Bikes TO-DAY'S LIST OF COMPE- TITORS. The time is drawing near for our Bank Holi- day distribution, and we are pleased to see the general interest taken in the fortunes of the ladies on the list to-day. We have received a number of letters relating to the competi- tion, and shall be pleased if correspondents will, in future, affix a nom-de-plume to their letters (with their name and address), so that we can answer communications in this column:— Central Ward, Cardiff. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. Fri Miss Ford, Glove and Shears Hotel 3,787 4,093 Miss Child, Duke of Wellington Hotel 2,766 3,460 Miss G. Evans, Koyal Hotel 981 1,033 Miss M. Evans, Park Hotel 753 920 Miss Selwood, Pembroke Castle Hotel 593 692 Miss A. Edwards, Grand Hotel 394. 394 Miss Stephens, Golden Cress Hotel. 214 214 Miss E. Ham, Old Arcade Hotel 123 206 Miss Handy, Grand Hotel 135 135 Miss Brown, Duke of Wellington Hotel 8 8 South Ward, Cardiff. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. Fri. Miss John, West Dock Hotel 1,670 1,791 Miss R. Chase, ExchangeBestaurant. 421. 552 Miss C. Harris, Hope and Anchor 445 475 Miss Maud Gilmore, Packet Hotel 373 373 Canton and Riverside. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. Fri. Miss B. Walters, Corporation Hotel. 733 902 Miss Ogden, Albion Hotel 776 776 Miss A. Gulliver, Crown Inn. 600. 600 Miss Dayman, Corporation Hotel 557. 762 Miss Thomas, Coldstream Hotel 266 266 Miss M. Hedges, Wells Hotel 205 205 Roath, Park, and Cathays. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. Fri. Miss Clayton, Roath Castle Hotel 2,934 3,039 Miss Paynter, Woodville Hotel J ,014 1,014 Miss Andrews, Alexandra. Hotel <357 669 Adamsdown, Splott, and Grangretotrn. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. FrL Miss B. G. Jones, Bhymney Hotel 7,837 7,893 Miss Donovan, Green Fields of Erin. 5,932 6,251 Miss M. Benwell, Forge Inn, Grange. 1,991 2,022 Miss Bullock, Lord Wimborne Hotel. 1,200 1,330 Miss Smith, Eagle Hotel, Adamsdown. 611 611 Miss Hewings, Grange Hotel 101 10i Miss Thomas, Grange Hotel. 1 1 Penarth and Cogran. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. FrL Miss A. Clarke, Windsor Hotel 3,8i7 4,537 Miss M. Morgan, Albion Hotel 1,847 2,031 Miss E. L. Beed, Royal Hotel 633 704 Merthyr, Dowlais, and Aberdare. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. Fri. Miss Thomas, Plym'th Arms, Merthyr 1,154 1,154 Miss Williams, Bird-in-Haud, Merthyr 1,102 1,154 Miss Mayberry, Cowb'ge Htl., Aberd're 725. 725 Miss Roberts, Aberfan Hotel, Merthyr 40 40 Llynfi, Garw, and Ogmore. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. Fri. Miss Morris, BlaengM-w Hotel, Bl'garw 2,805 3,155 Miss Harding, Joiners'Arms, Bridgend 1,057 1,057 Miss Jones, Three Horse Shoes, M'teg 361 361 Miss Jones, WyndhamHtl., Nantymoei 237. 237 Miss A. Evans, Ynyscynon H'l, T alaw 5 5 Pontypridd and Treforest. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. Fri. Miss Thomas, Sportsman, Pontypridd. 1,275 1,411 Miss K. Jones, New Inn, Pontypridd.. 904 .it 904 Miss Stanbury, Half Moon, Pontypridd 799 793 Aberavon, Mountain Ash, Etc. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. FrL Miss Games, Junction Htl., Abercynon. 769 841 Miss J. Livsey, GIrntaB H'l, T'rhiw 184 184 Miss Morgan, Trav'lers' B'st, A'cynon 4 4 Treherbert, Treorky, etc. (ONE BICYCLE.) ThSrs. Fri. Miss Webb, Griffin Htl., Pentre Ystrad 1,445 1,445 Miss Davies, Cross Keys, Llwynypia. 1,090 1,279 Miss Davies, Imperial Hotel, Porth 1,086 1,086 Miss Jenkins, Pengelly Hotel, Treorky 565 565 Miss Moorcraft, Penrhys H'l. Ty'town 40. 40 Miss M. Bees, Red Cow H'l, Treorky 1 1 Barry and dadoxton. (ONE BICYCLE.) Thurs. Fri. Miss Paradice, Windsor Hotel 935 1,014 Miss B. Smith, Windsor Hotel 24. 24 Any Other Town or District. (TWO BICYCLES). Thurs. Fri. Miss Knowles, Porthcawl Hotel 579. 603 Miss Keudrick, Porthcawl Hotel 455 455 Miss Williams, Greyhound, Llanelly. 219 219 Miss Williams, Bear Inn, Llantrisant. 128 186 Miss A. E. Davies, Railway H'l. L'daff 14. 161

THE BEAUTIES OF PEACE. Max O'Rell told an amusing story at the Peace Association meeting in St. Martin's Town-hall the other night. He said his friend, the late M. Darmesteter, had once written a book for the use of schools on the history of civilisation, which showed the bleso;ngs of peace. It did not give one account of any war. There was not a murder of any sort in that book. Before being allowed in schools it had to receive the approbation of the Minister of Public Instruction. M. Darmesteter took it to the Minister, and the Minister said he would look over it. When he returned to learn the book's fate, the Minister observed: "Your book is beautiful-it is lovely! It is one likely to impart into the heart of youth, the love of peace. Every boy shall have it—as soon as France has recovered Alsace- Lorraine!"

THE Coming Race will be that which possesses the largest measure of intelligence and the fullest gift of life. It has been England in the past; we all hope and believe that it will be England in the future. Some of our neighbours are doing their be3t to take our place, and to exceed us in the qualities which prevail. We i are none of us too humble to assist England in maintaining her supremacy. The best way to help her is to see that our children are healthy, and to ensure this we have only to give them Horlick's Halted Milk, the best food for brain, bone, and muscle. No cooking and no added milk needed. Of all chemists. Price ls. 6d., 2s. 6d., and lis. A free sample will be sent, on application, by Horlick and Co., 34, Farringdon-road, London, E.C. Send foi Freddy's Diary," post free. L15223 There are many Medicinal Tonics offered to the public, but they may be classified under two heads: -The Best and the Rest. Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters in The Beet. 2s. 9d. and 4s. 6d. Bottles. e4919-2 "ADVICE TO MOTHERS."—Are you broken in your rest by a sick child suffering with the pain by cutting teeth? Go at once to a chemist and get a bottle of Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup. It will relieve the poor sufferer immediately. It is pleasant to taste; it produces natural, quiet sleep by relieving the child from pain, and the little cherub awakes as bright as a button. Of all chemists. Is. lid. per bottle. PEPPER'S QUININE AND IRON TONIO, embracing, vivifying, sustaining, dispels' depression, cures indigestion, neuralgia, and all aches oc pains. Pepper's, the only real tonic. Shilling bottles. 5 printed by the Proprietors, Western man Limited, and published by them at their offices, St. Mary-street Cardiff; at their offices Castle Bailey-street, 8wansea; at the shop of Mrs. Wesley Williams, Bridgend—all in the County oi Glamorgan; at the "Western Mail" Omces. Newport; at the shop of Mr. J. P. Caffrey, Monmouth, both in the County of Monmouth: and at the shoe of Mr. D. Daviea, Llanelly. in the, County of Carmarthen. FRIDAY. JUNE 24, 1898,