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SCRAPS AND SCRAPINGS. I

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SCRAPS AND SCRAPINGS. I If P. h rse is a screw, hiin that goes with it rnuat be screw-dri nr. If there is ahead in any town, there must be legs in it too. l'oor Amusement. —A railway fare. A down '(I'au;ht. drunkar,l's mouth. If you want to d. > away with candle burnings in churches snuff the person out, by letting him see empty pews and bare benches. It is said that the Ritualist are getting to a strange high pitch. Well, they arc, anti it's a great pity, we say, but what they had stuck in the pitch when they first started, and stopped there. A Lame Sale.Startiug with one, and breaking down with it. A small tr,.tdesaittn. -Him that gives folks their ha• porths. A smooth fhil. -noing out to sea in a butter-boat When does a man look sheepish ?-Wheu he's tleec'd.- Tom Trcddleboyle. LETTING THE NEW YEAR IN. I It's very right for folks to talk, and wish their neigh- boliti well, But not for them, when saying so, for no such wish to fed; And so it is when the new year comes, what fuss they make aud diu, When all the while their friendship's naught bUt-LET- TISH THE SEW YKktt IN. So they go on speaking ill, and speaking well of none, And everything they think is good, why. that they let alone; Thus, thus it is, you see it is, and such we call a sin For every time they are doing so, they re LETTING THE NEW YEAH IN. Then as to cheating and such tricks, they are) always trying on, And 3' they cannot just dudt sharp, then they think it long All'/when it's done, and sharp they think, they then turn gound and grin, Then wh it's all this we simply ask, but-LETTIXQ THE NEW YEAII IX. And next to it, arc them that spends their wages all in drink, And iut" debt run everywhere, and forced past folks to slink 'lost hnmef, ha! deary me, with the wife both And sucti lo?t honie4., ha! de,,try me, with the wife both Then is'nt it a sad disgrace? thus-LETTING THE OLD TZAR IN- Bairnsla Folks Annual. TIDE TABLE. Tne tide with some folks is always running in, and bearing something with it that is profitable; while with (itbers, it is for ever running out, without even so much as a spL.sh, of ought that is good to he felt about it. The tide everv Saturday night at working mens' houses is rolling in at all sides while nearly every other day in the week it's down at low water mark. The tide with some men in business runs higher and higher, while with others, it throws up npught but wreck and misfortune at their door. But the best of all is the Whitsuntide, hey, that's the tide if voulike, for it runs into every nook and corner of the laud and seems to bring up with every wave laughs Aud merry hearts,—Ilairnsla Folks AliiMinac/c- It was said of a cobler in the west country, that was a great singer, that what he shone most in, wassole-os. WANTED TO KliOW. I What sort of a clue it is as folks get hold of at times? What length the ends of justice are? Whether the thread of an argument be black, or white, or brown? Beer when its roapy whether it is jute or hemp I Those that spin a yarn whether it's lambs wool or W° Whether the River Plate be blue-edged or willow pat- tern ? Whether the minds eye be black or blue? Can any budy tell the exact size of a pice of a folly ? If a member of a board of health brings forward a motion and it ends in smoke, can he be summoned for a nuisance? Ingratitude. -Helping a bee out of a treacle pot and it St' 1U wheii does the mind work for cobblers?—When it waxes st ronger and stronger, A gift that often begets trouble.—The gift of the gab. Had nmrksiuen —Neighbours that can't hit it. Tom has a tree in his garden, that when the cherries in it are ripe, one of them will weigh more than a stone.

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