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ILLUSTRATED HUMOUR

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Little Harold's mother looked very severe as she said: "I shall have to tell your father what a naughty boy you've been to-day." "Oh, mothe," said Harold, "can't you keep a sccret better than thaU" Papa says he likes to hear me play your accompaniments. He usually sits in the next room, you know." "Then he admires music? In a way. He says I always play so loud that it drowns your voice." "Call that kindness?" said a man in righteous indignation, speaking of an absent acquaintance; a man who is away from his family and never sends them a farthing?" "Yes," was the ready reply; "unremitting kindness." Mary: "I was pouring myself out a glass of wine in the dining-room when the butler pounces on me and says: 'Hallo! I'll have none o' that. Jane: "And what did you say?" Mary: "I said I hadn't intended to offer im any of it." Here," said Benny's papa, shewing the little fellow a coin, "is a penny 500 years old. It was given to me when I was a little boy. Oh, my!" ejaculated Benny; "just think of anyone being able to keep a penny as long as that with. out spending it Has Cranker decided to try that new food diet for the sake of his health? No. He savs he is going to compromise and eat raw food." "You don't say ? "Yes. ile is 00 going to marry a college girl and let her do tb cooking."

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