The Pembroke County Guardian and Cardigan Reporter

ILLUSTRATED HUMOUR The Sympathiser: "Did you get the appoint- ment?" The Out-of-Work: "No, I got the disappointment." Hood said he was forced to make broad grins under narrow circumstances, and be a lively Hood for a livelihood. Pa, what is a sage? A sage, my son, is a wise man." "And what is a wise man?" "A man who always agrees ,HI his wife." Mr. Staylate: "Ah! my -ling, so you really did expect me again this evening?" Miss Twittem: Yes, George; I've been sleeping all day." Soldiers must be fearfully dishonest," says Mrs. Merriman, "as it seems to be a nightly oocurrenoe for a sentry to be relieved of his watch." Miss Vanleigh thinks everybody admires her small feet." Her small feet! I've never seen them." "Never seen them?" "No; they were always in her shoes." I What was the reason Yelper, the tenor, failed in his solo last night?" "He was sinning A Life on the Ocean Wave' and was stranded when he struck the high C." "Do people set much value upon your auto. I graph, Mr. Author?" My wife does when it's attached to a good round cheque!" Do you know the language of flowers? Mabel: No; I've no desire to learn. If you had heard papa since he has taken up garden- ing, you wouldn't have put such a question." Dr. Price: "I can't make anything out of • that case/' His Wife: "What?" Dr. Price: Oh, don't be foolish! I mean I don't under- stand it. Of course, I'm making money out of it." A little girl while crossing a muddy street, l slipped. As she did so she dropped an apple. "Why, Margaret, did you loee your balance?" asked her aunt. "No," replied Margaret, "I lost my apple." Smith: "I was awfully disappointed at the way they received my anecdote last night. They didn't laugh at all." Brown: "Oh, but they did. You should have heard them laugh after you left the room." Mrs. New-Wed: Dear me, those eggs are very small." Grocer: "They are, indeed, mum; and I'm sure I don't know why." Mrs. New- Wed Oh, I daresay it's because you take them out of the nest too soon." MOTHER: Now that Albert has gone you look as cross as possible, Maude. Has he said anything to vex you ? Maude: "No, mamma. It's what he hasn't said that vexes me!" Towne: "Yes, my wife is able to dress on I comparatively little money." Browne: "Oh, come now! Comparatively little?" Towne: "I mean on little compared with what she thinks she ought to have." Youth (to tailor): "I've called for my new suit." Tailor: "I'm sorry, sir, but it is net finished." Youth: "Why, you said you would have it done if you worked all night." Tailor: Yes, but I didn't work all night." Author: "It's a wise man who knows when he's well off." Friend: "Yes?" Clements told me that everybody was talking about my new book." "And what then?" "I was foolish enough to ask what they said." Cecil (sentimentally): Don't you feel gloomy when the sky is overcast with grey, when the rhythmic rain sounds a dirge upon the roof?" Hazel (sweetly): "Yes; it's dreadfully annoying. It does make one's hair come out of curl so." Suitor: "Sir, you are undoubtedly aware of the object of my visit to-day?" Father: "I be- lieve you desire to make my daughter happy. Do you really mean it?" Suitor: "Unquestion- ably." father: "Well, don't marry her, then." tjong-haired Author: "I have had very bad luck with my plays. The last three I have written have all failed." Short-haired Author: "Is that so? Then what do you say if we write one together?" Dolly Swift: "Mamma is almost sure she heard you kissing me last night." Young JOIr- along: But I have never given her any causo to_ think so." Dolly Swift: "Well, don't yott think it is about time you did ?" "Are you troubled with toothache?" said Johnson to Smithson, who had a bandage round his face. "Great Caesar!" cried Smithson, did you ever know anyone to have toothache ( without being troubled with it?" Green: "I thought you said that fedoq Skinem was as good as his word?" Brownl I cid." Green: II Well be lied tn about a business transaction." Browa: t £ »r i say his word was any good." "Yz:z seem happy, old man?" "I am. rve got a btevete cf my own now:" '4'Yt I thought you put your n-.acliin« away several years ago, and stopped utisc 8o I did, but on New 1. paid toe Hmk -rumaiment on ii."

DAVID DAVIES, High Street, Haverfordwest, Has just received his stock of Mackintoshes and Overcoats for the coming Season. Largest selection of — — — Men's and Boys' Clothing — — — in Pembrokeshire. Nicholson's Rainproof Coats Guaranteed to be absolutely rainproof. 52ju3'06 TEETH. TEETH. TEETH. MESSRS. E. ENGLAND, LTD., Can be consulted from 11 to 5 p.m., at MISS JOHN, Bookseller and Stationer, 3, Victoria Place, New Bridge, Haverfordwest Every alternate Tuesday and Saturday. Next Yisit, Tuesday, Mar. 6, & Saturday, Feb. 24, and will also attend at CHABLES STREET, MrLFOBD fuVEN (Mr Mcyler, Chemist), every other Next Yisit, Feb. 27. All Mr. MryLiWo, CHEMIST, MAIN STREET, FISHGUARD, every other Thursdrv, Next visit, Mar. 1. AT MRS: JAMES', GWALIA HOUSE, CABDIGAN, every other Saturday. Next Yisit, Mar. 7. Also at Miss OwEN's, DEWI HousE, Caoss SQUARE, ST. DAVID'S, every other Thursday. Next Visit. Mar 8. -0'- CONSULTATION FREE OF CHARGE. TEETH. 1. Perfection in eating and speaking. 2. Parfectly nauural and life-like us appearance. Upper or Lower Set .o From k2 10b. I Single Tooth II £0 58. Teeth extracted painlessly with Nitrous Oxide Gas. TOM DAVIES' Great Clearance Sale £ 1,675 worth of stock must be clearedbefcire removing to New Premises in High, Street. A A Rare Opportunity. Genuine Bargains. Terms—Strictly Cash during Sale. Npte address— THE COUNTY CLOTHIER, 11, Market Street, H RFORTTWEST. NSAT10- N ON V FOR' YOUR SIMPLE POSTCARD REQUEST t /H. SAMUEL WILL SENO YQU Wf BIS FnPP ■ Y BOOK OF BARGAINS ABSOLUTELY T HEX ■ J To recount all the adrata|« this onlfu and ViinaBffS 111 mi 1* Interesting Catalogue confers on boy era would —J1 be to re-write the bbok, tbr «vivy>ta»* «f a leaf USAMUCl'S K reveal* new ssuatlons,—new opportunities for the « miri Hf. saving of toone,. K THERE ARE BARGAINS IN WATCHES, RINGS, GEMS; ) LEVER H BARGAINS IN PLATE, CUTLERY, SILVERWARE, fto. — ■ —ALL AT SUCH AMAZINGLY LOW FACTORY PRICES flKStXSi ■ THAT TO NEEO IS TO BUY. H Thmiita the^rlvtletfe of • month'* CMe trial of any artlolo. OC I and full particular* age rflven of the QKAWD tMl nffl Zl C\If a H which encores an extra bona* gift free with mqr T.TI jH^pnrohaee. ^■■AtOUtttLVII BY HESITATING TO MAKE YOURSELF THE POS- ■WmaiMaj ■ SESSOR DP H. SAMUEL'S FREE BOOK YOU ARE HRTir ■ FOREGOING THESE AND ESJUIY OTHER FRIVK ■ LEGES WHICH THE WRITING OF A POSTCARD W&& VP m WILL PLACE YOU IN A POSITION TO ENJCf. Y >* |A TTYWCALWgCM »Aii«AiiL J YOU SHOULD THriEFBRK