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OUR LONDON LETTER.

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DOCTOR: If you wish to get better, my friend, you must, absolutely do what your physi- cian tells you! Patient: "I will promise to do whatever you tell me, doctor!" Doctor: "Then pay me my last year's bill. Mr. Rockiboy! Any interesting legends about here?" asked the tourist. "No." returned the native, slowly; ain't never, seen any, though you may find 'em if you hunt in the woods." Lawyer: "Ah! a case of slander, you say?" Major Bounder: "Yes. He called me a cheat, thief, and scoundrel, and defied me to find a bigger black-hearted villain in the towi. So naturally I came t.traight round to you-" Grandpapa: "Touimy, Tommy, you aren't be- having well. Do you know what I should do if I were a little boy like you ?" Tommy: Yes, grandpapa, you'd do the same as I do, 'cause if you didn't you wouldn't be a little boy like me." Betty: "So Maud is engaged? Well, I'm sorry for the IMLD. She doesn't know the first thing about keeping houscr." Bessie: "Oh, yes, she does." Betty: "I'd like to know what." Bessie: The first thing is to get » man to keep house for." Hubby: "I don't see why you shouldn't exerl yourself to make me happy." Wifey: Why, of all things! You know you told me when I accepted you that I had made you the happiest man on earth. What is the use of my trying to improve on that?" Do you remember, dear, he asked, as they sat down on one of the rustic seats in the park, "that I cut your initials on this tree behind of three or four years ago?" "Why, no, George," she replied, "I don't remember that. Are you sure?" He rose, walked round the tree, and in- spected the bark closely. "Yes," he said, "it's the same tree all right, but It was girl/* see&T, Vacn:ii jroonneit. t re» se ooreo i was Dound to yawn; but, of course 1 -iid my mouth with my hand." He: "No. You don't-mean to say that such a sweet, tiny, little hand could, hide such a—a-i-a—er—that is to say -aren't we having awfully beastly weather iusi now?" "How old are you?" asked the insurance agent of the lady. It was thoughtless of him, and her indignant "Sir!" brought him straightway to his senses. "Of course, you will understand,1* he went on, "that we have to be careful about making contracts. I merely wished to amurtt myself that you are legally of age."

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