County Observer and Monmouthshire Central Advertiser Abergavenny and Raglan Herald Usk and Pontypool Messenger and Chepstow Argus

THE HOLLY-TREE. I 0 reader! h-aist thou ever stood to see The Holly-tree ? The eye that eOIlltieaniplake6 it well perceives Its glossy leaves, Ordleroo by an Intelligence wiee As miiglilt confound the ;s(t's pjophistriea. BelÛlw a circling fenoe its leaves are seen, Wrinkled and keen No grazing cattle through their prickly round Cam readh to wolmd But, as they grow where nothing is to fear, Smooth and unarmed the podiiitles-a leaves appear, I love to vilow these things with curious eyes. And moralise And in this wisdom of the HoUy-troo Cain emblems see, Wherewith, perchance, to make a pleasaniS rhyme, One which may profit in the a £ ter-<tiime. Thus, though abro-ad, perdhanee, I might appear Harsh, and -austere; To those who on my leisure would intrude, Reserved and rude; Gentle at home lamÏid my friend's I'd be, Like, the high Ieaveis upon the Holly-tree. H. SOUTHEY. I

BECAUSE OF ONE. Because of one dear infant head With golden hair, To me all little heads A halo wear; And for one saintly face I knew All babes are fair. Because of two wide earnest eyes Of heavenly blue, Which look with yearning gaze My sad soul through, All eyes now fill mine own with tears, Whaler their hue. Because of little death-marked lips Which once did call My name in plaintive tones, No voices fall Upon my ears in vain appeal From children small. Two little hands held in my own, Long, long ago, Now cause me as I wander through This world of woe To clasp each baby hand stretched out In fear of foe. The lowest cannot plead in vain, I loved him so. 0 Home.

EPISODES. A ban-room, filled with music, grace, and beauty A single dance Hedged in between those dances danced for duty. From this, romance. When next we met, I well remember winning A distant bow. Great things arise from very small beginning; I wosider how ? A tournament, we two were drawn together. We lost each sett. We didn't mind. How could we play in weather So very wet ? A church a crowd; a feeling of depression, A pair of men. A stir within the porch. A brief procession. A liymn-and then! RONALD ALLINSON. -From" Pearson's Magazine" Christmas Number.

DO MEN UNDERSTAND WOMEN? In all studies the beginning of knowledge is reached in the day when first we realise that we know nothing. lit takes some time to arrive at that firtsit stage, indeed, the half of humanity never reach it. A quarter, perhaps, never get beyond it, being conltenft to fold their hands resignedly aind let that supreme commencement llast them for tihe rest of their days. The study of "woman," admittedly one of the most diffi- cult and fascinating on earth, is no exception to the- general rule. Man enters upon it with that sublime assurance borin only of YOUJth and un- limited inexperience. He is filled with a vague and viitying wonder of other men who have long since given it up. It is, of course, out of the question that anything should feafSe his gigantic (intellect, much less a woman. What is she but a- simple creature, narrow of interests and of intelligence compared with him, "the heir of all the ages?" As to the grammar of her, it is, to his way of thinking, comprised in the single sen- tence, "All women are alike." So be sets out to study one in order to know the rest. Not improbably he falls in love, with her and forgeitls all about improving 'his mind at her expense. When the day of awakening or disillusionment eoimes, he feels that there- is no more for him to learn, and tihlaifc he has sounded the depths- he calls tihem the. shallow depths—of woman's heart and mind. He sweeps his dethroned queen iasid.e-oiilt of has- life, and all other women with. her. By and by he meets another girl, and to his amazement he finds Dh-a-t fihe is quite different from the others. As he progresses in knowledge he as bound to confess thait the rules of has grammar -are like those of the English language, thev aire outnumbered by the exceptions. Finally he reaches the .stage before referred to, and owns quite honestly that be knows nothing whatever about the matter. The question, arises, are women, really as diffi- cult to understand as people say they are? And, if 00, why do men, who master such tre- mendnuBi problems in either branches of study, so often give this one up in despair? Perhaps i!t is because they generally F)tan--&, upon it wi'th u stock off preconoeived ideas, which they never get rid of, even after years of experience and marriage-. To begin wtitlh, they under-rate the mental dapsiciity o.f wwme-n. It will readily be conceded Iby the nrajority of sane people that the brain camaca'ty of the average man outweighs that, of the pverage woman, but he laoks the subtlety to undi&nsfwnd that she need not therefore be treated ae a. purely physical being. I use the term subtlety advisedly, though to some it may savour of sarcasm. But one has only to read the views of men of such divergent cleverness as Schopenhauer and Chedterfield to realise that the most elementary fadfe concerning women ma,v escape boitih the philosopher and the wit. Even a dorr wall sometimes—not often, perhaps, but sometimes—prefer a kind word to a bone, But a man Ihardlv gives a, woman credit for such a possiibilSty. If he has fallen out with her, wonn derl her susceptibilities, trodden on her corns, he thinks it will be all right if he buys her a present. If she refuses to -accept it. if she shows eigne pf being still aggrieved, why, then she is mlky. If, on the contrary, she descends to the level on which he has placed her, well, be shrugs his shoulders with good-naitured eon- tempt, and thinks tlhat, alfter -all, women are very much like children.—From "Weldon's Ladies' Joumel," Christmas Number. j

FISHING AND DISHING. Take, care of the Minnows Those slippery rims Well knows that the Pike can talee care of themselves! PISCATORIAL PROBLEMS. I. You will find hat the spicier, as hidden he lies, And watches his web in the sun, If he only entangles the tiniest flies. Thinks 11 Small fish are better than none II. The company-monger, too, anxious to score, Off flats who are bound to be done. As he pouches the pence of the needy and poor, Finds" Small fish are better than none III. So the player of poker, or lover of loo, Or games at which little is won, All feel bound to declare the old proverb is true That Small fish are better than none!" IV. If yon fish in the City, or fish in the sea, Or angle for fortune or fun, Yon will quickly discover, where'er you may be, How Small fish are better than none." J. ASHBY-STORTXT. —From the Christmas Number of the Graphic."

On October 19, 1839, Brads-ba-w published his first railway time-table. Hunchbacks are more numero-i-is in Spain than in any other part of the globe. Londoners use on an average thirty-four gallons of water per hood, per day. The most valuable bicycle in the world is one of gold, inland with diamonds and sapphires, being to the Gaikwar of Joliore. The •diiaSMWifte found in Kimberley and other miosis in SatHSh. Africa bave so far be,en sent to A'jKFtnnla.m to boma. ft is now proposed by the De Bieem Obiapattty to arrange for this work to 100 done In tho Cb'iony.

Tiliii LIBERAL iJ liOtf ±iAM.MK. I PRIME MINISTER AT ALBERT HALL. 1 Sir H. Campbell-Bannerman, who was aeeom- paiiied on tfae platform by most of his col- laag-ues, on Deeemiber 21 addressed an immense Libeml mootmg in the Albert Hall. After t3oiae references to the reeignation of the late Ministry and to the reception accorded to their successors, Sir Henry said he had no precise pronouncement of policy to make. A general programme of policy came at the general election, and the particular programme of work to 00 done oame. at the beginning of the Bax-liainentary Session. The present occasion was neither the one nor the other. Their policy, moreover, was well known, even to those who- feigned ignorance of it. As to India, it would be their aim to keep quos- tions of internal administration outside" the areaof party politics; and in regard to the unedifving -controversy which had arisen there they would seek to restore the spirit of pro- portion and. vigorous common sense which had been the boasfof British rule in India, and asGuredl-y would make themselves party to no steps that would involve any evasion of the sacred principle of the subordination of the military to the civil power. With regard to the Colonies, it was unnecessary for the Government to make public protestation of their affection for them. In our relations- with the Colonies, everything was at present smooth except in the One ruffled- spot of South Africa. There the difficulties and complications were ereat, and the Government had not had tirje to examine them but they had decided to so far as possible, the recruitment of coolies in China and their importation to South Africa,. He pro- ceeded to declare his cordial adhesion to the policy of the entente with France, and to advo- cate friendly relations with Russia and G.er- many. He looked to the further application of the principle of arbitration to permit of a. read- ju-stment of military armaments, the growth of which he believed to be a great menace to the peace of the world. Passing to the question of financial reform, Sir Henry "thought they might derive something from land. and something from licensing, and redress some of the more irk- some inenualities of taxation. But even so, with the increasing military expenditure, how could they do the work of reform, that re- mained to be done at home and at the same |. time, bring relief to the taxpayer? The Pre- mier went on to indicate among the- aims of the new Ministry the reform of the land and rating sicif,emis-in which he included the iia- i position of 9, rate on ground values—the a-ppii- | cation of the principles of self-government and } ponular control in education and licensing, and. ) with regard to Ireland., that those domestic affairs winch- concerned the Irish people only should, as and when opportunity offered, be placed in their hands. They had to face a ter- rible list of problems in London. He wanted to see the Poor Law brought into harmony with present conditions, so as to mitigate the evils of non-employment. They desired, without dc- 1,171 to amend the laiW in regard to combina- tion, so as to give- freedom and security to the trade unionists. They must also reform elec- toral methods, and restore the impaired autho- rity of Parliament.

EXCITING LION HUNT. FOUR ANIMALS SHOT NEAR PARIS. While a train, bound, for Roanne from Pari a with a menagerie, was ptaaaing through a tunnel, a v-an containing four lions struck the side, and a corner was torn off. One of the lions immedi- ately jumped on the line close to the house- of the keeper of a level crossing near Varen-nes. The accident, however, was not observd^ until the train reached Roanne at one o'clock in the morning, when a large African lion leaped on to the platform, causing a stampede of the em- plovees. Railway porters and gendarmes armed with rifles n-r^eared on the scene, and from the win- dews of the waiting-room shot the lion, which was wallungon the permanent way. As the two other lions were frantically ende-avo-uring to get out of the cage it was ,decided to shoot them also, and they were killed in the cage. Meanwhile, the astonished keeper of the level crossing discovered the first lion sitting on the line a few yards from his house near the en- trance to the tunnel. The animal had injured itself in jumping from too train, and was un- aible to run. The man telephoned to the nearest station, and presently a locomotive came atong, on the tender of which were four farmers armed with guns, with which they shot the wounded animal. The menagerie proprietor estim.artes his loss f at £ 2,000.

I MEDIUMS AND CRIME. I In a lecture which Dr. Muller has delivefe.-I at Berlin the statement was made that in their attempts to unravel crime mysteries the poboe often went to well-known spiritualists with the request that mediums should be questioned con- cerning the eircumstane-as of a murder and the personality of the murderer. In the case of the late Herr von Meerscheidt-Hulless-em, a police inspector, this means of crime detection was resorted to. In connection with the undis- covered murder of Frau Werdt, a medium was questioned by Dr. Muller. But the "spirit" declined to name the murderer, even though Dr. Muller put his questions in the name of the chief of the criminal police. On the proposal of Dr. Muller, Herr Meerscheidt-Hullessem de- clared himself ready to hold a spiritualist ccance on the grave of the murdered woman at mid- night in the hope that her spirit would appear and indicate the murderer. But at the last moment the seance could not take place, and that is why, according to Dr. Muller, the murder mystery was not solved.

■ — I FIRES AT SCHOOLS. I THE VALUE OF DISCIPLINE. ) I he- greatest confusion prevailed in the Wee- I leyan Chapel at Llandecwyn, near Festiniog, which was being used as a temporary school. A lamp which had been placed on a desk to heat the room upset, and the building caught fire, a large number of ischolarg being within. The children screamed and broke windows in their attempts to escape. With the help of neighbours the fire was extinguished, but not I until the floor and fixtures had been consider- ably damaged. The mistress and one pupil had their garments badly burned and sustained slight injuries. | An outbreak of fire occurred in a cellar at i the Elbow-lane Council School, Leicester. On the alarm being given, the headmaster imme- diately ordered fire drill, with tho result that I in a little over a minute all the departments, which accommodate 1,200 children, were cleared and the scholars assembled safely in the school- yard. The fire was soon subdued, and did very Little damage.

I PROJECTILE VERSUS ARMOUR. i A remarkable victory of the projectile over the armour is reported in Italy. It was some months ago announced that the arsenal at Terni had manu- factured a shell of exceptional power for heavy naval guns. This projectile aroused so much inte- rest that the firm of Krupp resolved upon testing it against their armour-plating. The test was carried out in presence of a delegation of Italian official experts, who have just reported to their Government that the Italian projectile went through the German armour, the missile remaining 0 intact.

The total number of licensed automobiles, in France is estimated, at 17,107. In this number ■ 12,713 have more than two seats, and 4,394 one or two seats. The number of cycles ie l'l50 098 and 16,118 of them have motors. The'number of vehicles drawn by animals is 1,637,562, and 377,359 of them have four wheels and 1,260,203 number of horses and mules 13 1,288,158.

WHY THE CURFEW BELL DIDN'T I RING. Some years ago the first to enter the Red Lion, Richmond, Yorkshire, on a certain Christ- ntasmorning was the sexton, whooo duty it was to ring the it curfew "at 6 in the morning and 8 at night. He was at once reproved by the landlady. "Garbut," said she, "what have, you been about this morning? You never rung t' bell, and we've all overslept ourselves. T' milk hasn't come in yet." Nav, mistress)," replied the sexton, "we'd no bell this morning, but I mun hev a sun 0' summat stronger than milk. I've been ommo.it freetened out o' my senses, an' I's all over a dodder yet. You kno' what a rough Dlelet :t'B been, 8m" this morning when I turned out to ring t' Tiflll it was as dark as pitch. T' clock 'began t' strike as I got on t' flags, an' I was runnin' wi' mi lantran in mah hand an' fassenin' mi buttons wi' t'other, when ah went heead first owersummat laid accross t' flags. I got up sharp, and was feel in' about for mi lantran— you kno' it was time I was in t' bell chamber- when, as true as T'm here, sumrnat com, an', as I thowt, ''aid its hand on me. Ah ran up as far as t' church gates, an' it com after me. I heeard it cum, mm. nap. nappin' up t' flags. Ah was that flayed ah dursent gan back to seek t' laiitran, so ah ran round, an' nivver stopped till I got oor dooer locked inside. When it bega.n to get leet, I com out ageean, an' what dost tat think ah saw? Auld Grime's dickass stannjn' on t' flairs an* my lantran again' him. He runs' in t' lonnins, an' t' roup-h neet had setten him yam, a.n' he'd laid hissel' down reet across t' flags. THs a. wonder ah didn't brek mi neck. I've been ahoot t' church a lang time now, an' ah nivver was frleetened before, but ^be gum, mistress, ah thowt ah'd let o't auld lad this morn in sr. an' he was efter me up t' flags. y Budget" Christmas Number.

H WHERE HE CAME PROM. An apprentice sailor boy feU from the ronnd top" to the deck stunned, but little hurt. The captain exclaimed in surprise, Why, where did you come from ? From the North of Treland, yer honour! was the prompt r'pJy as the poor boy gathered himself up.—" Our Home."

CHRISTMAS AT SANDRINGHAM. I WHAT THE ROYAL FAMILY DO. I The King and Queen are almost as constant to S-andringham as the scene of their Christmas family gathering as was the late Queen to Osborne. But the great baron of beef and the famous wookcock pies, which from time imme- morial have graced the Royal table at Yule- tide, are still cooked in the Windsor kitchens and sent up to Sandringham, for comparatively -vast as are the culinary arrangements in His Majesty's Norfolk home, they do not boast of a range large enough to tackle the first-named succulent viand. The complete double staff of gastronomic artists which Queen Victoria, tised to maintain at Windsor and Osborne is now dispensed with, so that the delicacies despatched from the Castle to Sandringha.ni have greatly diminished1 in number. In former days the little steamer Elfin, now broken up, -used to dart dia-ily across the Solent, laden with Christmas cheer and Christmas gifts, for a foil week before December 25. King Edward and Queen Alexandra a-re almost as great present givers as was the late Queen whoee gifts to her innumerable nephews and nieces were sent to every part of Europe about! Christmas' time. His Majesty, when (possible, prefers to give his presents in person, <&nd likes to see the parcels wrapped by his own hands in ma,ny folds of paper, opened by the recipients. Many and varied are the offer- ings which, the Sovereign .selects for the members of his family. The Royal ladies receive jewellery, costly furs, fans, or obje-te d'art, and the Princes are presented with gold and jewel-studded cigarette cases, scarf-pins, or handsome walking-sticks. His Majesty buys fiis Christmas presents all the year round, pick- ing up anything he fancies at the different (places he visits. This autumn in Marienbad he (purchased some magnificent sets of black fox, a Tare and costly fur, gre&tly appreciated by ladies of the Royal Family. The principal Christmas shopping of the ■Royal Family is done shortly before the festival itself. Both the King and Queen generally come up to London for the purpose, and the most interesting novelties of course find their "way to Buckingham Palace for their Majesties' •approval. The King also sends a great many Christma.s cards to Sis pereonal friends. These -he addresses with his own hand, and, often ■writes- a personable greeting on one of the leaves. His Majesty's letters are not ptamped like less Olympian missives, but bear a small crown and cypher in one corner, which franks them through the Post-office. The Queen also despatches innumerable Christmas- cards, many of them adorneel with a photograph taken by r. This year the Prince. and Princess ol WaJes aboont from the family circle, but and remembrances from home will be exp'd t o with a view to their reaching the on Christmas Day. A J i tiy custom observed by the Queen at Sand-" • bam. -is the providing of a Christmas dinner r the birds. A large sheaf of corn is i fame up -above the cloorwi. y, so> that the feai&ered denizens of the park may enjoy the goodcheor when the ground is frozen hard and they find, it. difficult to pick up a living. The London hospitals are not forgotten, and hampers of the magnificent Norfolk pheasants are sent up for the use of the patients. Fat bucks from Windsor Great Park also find their way to Guy's, "Bart's," St. Thoipas'e, or St. George's. —From t'fre Christmas Number of "Madame." I

THE 'WISE MEN AND THIS STAR. I When, glowing in the Eastern sky, I The mystic Star salutes the eye, j Joyful the sages, rising, say, j N ow Set us take our westward way!" j In Sa Jem's streets the Wise Men speak; j Where is the Child we fondly seek ? j Where is the King whose natal Star j Has brought us from our homes alar ? j We come His gracious Face to see, I We come to bend the adoring knee, I And choicest offerings to unfold j Of frankincense, and myrrh, and gold." I To Bethlehem thek steps they turn • j And joy makes every bosom burn, | When, looking up on high, they gain | The sight of their loved Star again. ] And, lighted by its guiding glow, j Exultant on their way they go, Till motionless it hangs, the sign j That they have reached the sacred shrine j They press the Holy Child to see, They bend to Him the adoring knee, And. eostliesfc offerings they unfold Of frankincense, and myrrh, and gold. And do OUT eyes no Star detect ? And does no Star our steps direct ? And does no shrine our souls invite I To gaze and worship with delight ? Yes! as a Star, God's Word reveals j The .shrine where each believer kneels, j And where all gratefully we pour f At Jesus' feet our richest store. Let, then, both East and West combine J To worship at that sacred shire; Let North and South in union bring I Their tribute to the world's Great King. j Then shall His peace the earth possess; I Then shall men learn His righteousness; Then shall His love the nations cheer, And one glad Christmas fill the year! D. B. | —" Heme Words Christmas Number. j

THE SKY ANTHEM. I I By REV. DR. TAL-MAGE. I C'( Gl.ory to God in the highest, and on earth pe,a,ce; good will towards men."—Luke ii. 14. j The whole region of Bethlehem is famous in Bafb-Ie eitory. There were the waving harvests f of Boaz j there, David the warrior was thirsty, and there men of unheard-of self-denial broke through the Philistine army to get him a drink. | jEt was to thai regiion that Joseph and Mary came tü have their names enrolled in the census, j' Thait is wfcat the Scripture maaais when it eays i fthey came "!to he taxed," for people did not then j rush after the weemmB of .taxes any more than they now do. j The village iian- was crowded with the strangers who had coane up by com, mand of the govern- j meant to their naanes in the census, so. that j Joseph, isn-d Mary were obliged to lodig,e in the i etaibles. You have seen some of those large stone buildings, in the centre of which the eamaela were kept, wfhile running ouifc from this ) oetn<br>& in all direcitions tihere were rooms, in one s of whicl) Jesus waB torn. Had His parents been j! more eho-wily apparelled, I have no doubt they would have found more- oomiforteble emtertain- i anenit. That night the shepherds, with crook I and Mndled fires, were wastdhing their flocks, j when, hark -to i THE SOUND OF VOICES STRANGELY SWEET j Can it he. that the maidens of Beithlelhem have came out, to perenade the weary shepherds ? But now a light swoops upon them, like the morn- [ ing, so that 'the fioeks arise, shaking their s-now^ j fleeces -and bleating to their drowsy young. The hea-vedis are filled with armies of light, and the earth quakes under tire harmony, ae, echoed back from cloud to cloud, it rings over the hills: j "Gloryto Gcd in the highest, and en earth peace, good will to men!" It seems- that the crown of > royalty and dominion amd power which Christ | left behind Him was hung on the sky in sight of I BellM-ehem.—From "The Holly Bough," The j "Chrietwui Herald" Christmas Annual. "Chrietwui Herald" Christmas Annual.

THE MOST ANCIENT DRESS- MAKER'S BILL. Among the documents discovered in Chaldea ■is a tatbfct which may well be called "the oldest dressmaker's bill in the world." It wa4s the custom, of the Babylonian Kings to present to the temple iseits of robes for the use of the priests and priestesses. Tlhie was usufally done every year. Alamy ol these lijgto are in the British Museum. The oldest hiftlheTfco known has! been that of a King a)l»nit 1450 B.C. The document recently discovered, h-oiwever, is much older. The tablet is of limestone, and was found in the ruins in a temple in the City of Nipur, in Southern Chaldea. This temple was dedicated to the "ghest god," and had a large priesthood attached to it. From the style of the writing, which is extremely arcfhiaic, and from the curious system of n-crals employed, the tablet, it is said, cannot be of laiter date than 2,800 B.C. It contains a list of ninety-two vestments, which were presented to tlhe t-emrple by the King. The name of the King is unfortunately omitted. The inscription ends with the words: "In all, ninety-two vestments, the bill (liis'fc) of the for the priests this year." Many of the words are unknown. Among the items are "twelve white robes of tJhe temple, eight roljee of tihe house of his. lady, ten collars of the- house of his My, ten pure gold collars, two white robes." An item toward the end of this curious bill- "four scented rebee"—is ■sngges'tdve of the pas- sag,e in Psalms xiv., in which are mentioned the roibE redolent of "myrfi and aloes and cassia.'P^ojiTe'a Friaadi Aluraiiao.

HONOUR OF 'ilLE WEEK Bad Enough. In the Shoreditch County-court, before Judge Smyly, a defendant said he could not pay. Plaintiff: I should like to know why your tale is always the fame. Defendant: Trade's bad-bad as rotten egg. (Laughter.) His Honour: That's bad enough. No order. (Loud laughter.) Judge end Tariff Reform. A maker of clock and watch glasses, sum- moned at trhe Clerkenwell County-court in respect of a debt. pleaded that the trade in his line was never so bad as at present in Clerkenwell, the home of the industry. Judge Edge: But clocks and watches are still in use. The Defendant: But they all come from abroad now. Where I used to be constantly busy. I don't now make a watch glass once in three months. The plaintiff's solicitor: But, surely, [1,11 the watch and clock business is not gone from Clerkenwell ? The Defendant: I know that all the glasses come from abroad already packed up, The Solicitor: Does the new Government fill you with hope ? The Defendant: Not much. (Laughter.) The Judge (langhing): You had better join the Tariff Reform Leigue or something. (Much laughter.) She Fainted. Asked at Caerphilly Police-court why his son did not attend school. John Richards, quarrymans labourer, Aber, said he could not do anything with the lad. The other night he had slept in a barley-meal sack belonging to a lady, and when she went to the sack he peeped out-and she fainted. (Laughter.) A Litigant's OOlnt. An applicant in the King's Bench, who has on several previous occasions been before the Court, and who the last time he attended handed in some papers to the Lord Chief Justice for consideration, was present to hear the decision. The Lord Chief Jusfcice said he had come to the conclusion that the application, as to which no information was given, must be refused. The Applicant: This Court is guided by the word of. God, or the machinations of the devil, I don't know which it is. (Laughter.) On my aNdavit I am entitled to be heard. The next case was called on, and the applicant withdraw. Am Abusing Diary. During the hearing of the Norman divorce suit the respondent, in answer to counsel, said the only | time her husband took her to'the theatre was to see The Girl from Kay's." What do you mean by he and I W.T. ?" What j does that mean ?: Winkles, I expect. Winkle tea. ] •—(Laughter.) j His Lordship Then what would S.T." in you? i diary mean ?—Shrimp tea, I suppose.-(Roars of laughter.) A Perfect Women. Who evet saw a perfect man?" asked the revivalist. There is no such thing. Every man has his faults, plenty of them." The revivalist continued "Who ever saw a perfect woman?>I At this juncture a tall, thin woman arose. "Do you mean to say, madam," the evangelist asked, "that you have seen a perfect woman ?" Well, I can't just say that I have seen her," the woman replied, but I have heard a powerful lot about her; she was my husband's first wife." Baconia. A young man who appeared as a defendant at the Bloomsbury County-court was stated by the plaintiff not to be the real defendant, but son. II He had summoned George Phillips." Judge Bacon: Are you George Phillips? Defendant: Yes, your Honour, I am. Plaintiff: But it is his father- Judge Bacon What is your father's name ? Defendant: Edward, sir. Judge Bacon: Although it is said to be a wise child that knows its own father, this young man ought to know his father's name. (Laughter.) Can you find me cheaper lodgings ? said a judgment debtor impudently, when his Honour expressed surprise that a man in his position was paying £ 45 a year for his rooms. Judge Bacon (sternly) Yes, that I can do, for I can commit you if you talk like that. But you won't economise much by going to Wormwood Scrubbs. (Laughter.) All Popular I From one or two Government offices come protests against the "Daily Chronicle's" note upon the prevalence of snuff-taking as a sub- stitute for smoking. A Colonial Office smoker avers that for twenty years or so a steady smoke has ascended from all parts of the building. Pipes, cigars and cigarettes are all popular," and there were two officials, six or seven years ago, who did not smoke. They were remarkable. Especially as the name of the one was Lambert and the other was called Butler. The New Woman. Dealing with a case at the Clerkenwell County, court, in which the debtor urged that the business was not his, but his wife's, Judge Edge remarked, This system of putting businesses in the wife'a name is becoming very extensive. On all hands the husband is becoming the manager. I don't know whether it is the influence of the new woman. (Much laughter), If so,it is very great, and one does not know what it will end in." (Laughter). Wanted! We take the following from the Wanted column of an esteemed local weekly Required, a man to 'milk and drive two ploughs. Apply The salary offered is not stated, but a man who can extract lacteal fluid from a ploughshare ought to be worth something even in these days of agri- cultural depression! In for Three Weeks. At a small country station there were two trains each morning and each night, and the station- master and the solitary porter had to fill in the rather long hours intervening by playing snap with the luggage labels in the winter and by playing cricket in the summer. A commercial traveller being stranded there one summer's day, and having to wait seven hours, asked to be allowed to join in the cricket. He sent down a very good ball to the stationmaster, and knocked down the middle stump. I am very glad," said the porter, you got the stationmaster out—more pleased than I can tell you, because he has been in for three weeks." (Laughter.) This story was told the other day by Mr. Pett Ridge. Laconic. There was an amusing laconic conversation at the same sitting. The Chairman, Mr. F. Carver (to man sentenced to two months in prison): Are you a house- holder ?—Prisoner (sullenly): No. Have you any goods ?-No. Have you any offer to make ?—No. One to Our Side." Dr. Corrigan was in the witness-box, and the talk was on the effects of alcohol on veins that are varicose, when the learned judge (smiling good- humouredly) said: "Look here, doctor. I don't think you or I could make all the people in the World teetotalers, and if we could I don't think we would wish to do it." (Approving laughter, in which the doctors on both sides joined, with a few Yur yura" from the gallery, where one gentleman was heard to say, Bravo, old Buck; that's one to our side, yer lonour 1"). The court ushers did not hear this said, but the words were used in the excite- ment of the moment, and after they had been uttered a Sank movementwas made from the court to what are known as its precincts.

INTERESTING ITEMS. Weighing 701b., a large seal was shot on Hm. ford Water, near Walton-on-Naze. It was stated at a meeting of the L.C.C. that two syndicates are negotiating for the Aldwych site. Venetian masts and other decorations were erected in the streets of Kingston-on-Thames, where a "Christmas Show" had been organised by the tradesmen. Subscriptions amounting to £6,150 were an- nounced at a meeting at Church House, West- minster. to initiate the formation of a Bishopric for Essex. Anthrax has broken out- aniong the horses al Manor Farm, near High Wycombe, and one animal has died of the disease, while others have had to be slaughtered. In consideration of the nerves of the public, the Prussian Minister of Public Works has ordered all railway engines to vhi-stle as seldom as possible. All contributions to the carcl-singf,rs in Hert- ford are acknowledged by a printed roceipt, and the proceeds devoted to the entertainment of the aged poor in the town. Including one gravedigger and three labourers, only five workless men have been registered at the unemployed bureau opened a month ago at East Dereham, a Norfolk town, by the urban council. Mr. John D. Rockefeller's Christmas present to the American nation is the Rockefeller Insti- tute of Medical Research, which during the past three years has been built at a cost of £ 600,000. Among the latest contributions received at the Bank of England for King Edward's Hos- pital Fund for London is the annual subscrip- tion of the Worshipful Company of Merchant Taylors for £1,000. No solution of the mystery surrounding the death of Guy Gibbons, who was found dead in the tunnel near Tonbridge on Monday, was ar- rived at at the inquest, ard an open verdict was returned. The chairman of the London County Council Education Committee was asked if he knew that the portrait of a Liberal candidate was prominently displayed in one of the Council's schools for mentally defective children. Fulham Borough Council has set a large num- ber of unemployed to work on the new ceme- tery, and at Chelsea- the paving of the Embank- ment with wood blocks and the building of the new public baths are providing employment for many men.. Last eeason £ 1,020 was subscribed to the [ Poultry Fund of the At-berttone Hunt, a large proportion of which went to people whose poultry had been destroyed by foxes. In the North Warwickshire country the fund closed with a deficit of nearly £ 150. In his report to the Local Government Board upon the sanitary condition of districts in Tees- dale, Dr. Manby says that at Gainsford cattle are -slaughtered in the corner of a cart shed, while at the same place a back kitchen is used as a slaughter-house. On the development of their brick works on the Norbury estate, which is being developed for workmen's dwellings, the London County Coun- cil haTTe decided to speed a further £ 1,000, though one of the members stated that many of the bricks were useless. At the annual meeting of the Indiarubber, Guttapercha, and Telegraph Works Company, it was stated that the rates for the Silvertown works were more than 10s. in the pound, as against 5s. 9d. paid by Newcastle firms, and that the company were thus handicapped to the ex- tent of £ 25,000 a year. In order to fully develop Australia's re- sources good seasons and good legislation are necessary," said Mr. Edmund T. Doxat, presi- I dent of the Australasian Chamber of Commerce I in London; "and legislation calculated to injure f those capitalists who not only gave the first impetus to Australian enterprise but have tided her through more than one crisis must be short- sighted policy." A person who has not been identified has attempted to assassinate the chief inspector of i Roumanian schools at Salonika. During manoeuvres in the Brest- Roads a French torpedo-boat collided with another, and both returned to port badly damaged. Reports from all parts of India indiaate a general absence of rain, dearth of food, and a large increase in the number of persons or, relief. The French Premier announced the definite acceptance by the Porte of the Powers' schemo of financial control in Macedonia, and the settle, ment of the Franco-Venezuelan dispute. The Hamburg-American Steamship Company has concluded an arrangement with the Russian b Government to carry troops back to Russia from Vladivostok, and steamers have left Nagasaki. Admiral Rojdestveneky has arrived in St. Petersburg from Japan. The King, accompanied by Princess Victoria, witnessed a performance of "Captain Drew on Leave" at the New Theatre. Opening the new Montenegrin Parliament, the Prince of Montenegro formally declared his country to be a Constitutional Monarchy. In view of the loss of 39,000 men to the United States Army from various causes it is proposed to raise the pay of a private from E2 12s. to £4 a month. The Hungarian Parliament has been pro- rogued till March 1, but the fall of the present Cabinet is only a question of time. Having been divorced fifteen years ago in Cleveland, Ohio, Dr. Henry Rae -recently met his former wife agam in New York, and they have been married a second time. After being imprisoned by falling earth in a railway tunnel under the East River, New York, for thirty-six hours, two Itaiian workmen were rescued. Speaking at the annual dinner of the Actors' Benevolent Fund, Mr. Anthony Hope likened the English drama to the unl-appy plant that is always being torn up by the roots to see how it ie getting on. Mr. F. W. Horner, M.P., auc-coicling to his Boli'cd-tor, signed a consent for judgment in an action brought at the Westminister County-court by Mr. Arthur Maurice Young, sub-editor and dramatic critic of the "Whitehall Review," for the recovery of commission and salary in liea of notice. Robbing children of their overcoats was an offence, for which John' L0ary, twenty-two, was sentenced to twenty-one months' bard labour at tihe Glerkenweil Sessions. When a child died from suffocation, and where death had previously occurred from the same cause in the family, said the West Middle- sex Coroner at Brentford, he should recommend the jury to bring in a verdict of Manslaughter. The Sessions House at Clerkenwell is to ba removed to Newdngton Butts early in the New Year. "Well, mon they can't take the cbreel-,Is, off a Highlander," saiid George Morrison Hamlyn, a master mariner, at Brentford, ,,Sk-eJ by the Official Receiver why be had objected to attend for his public examination in bank- ruptcy. Because sfoe delayed in answering the bell, Charles Haywood, of 85, Anerley-road, Aner- ley, dragged his cook along the" passage and threw her down, for which he was fined 20s. and costs at Penge Police-court. A barter Ln Stepney announces: "Free shav- ing by an apprentice every Tuesday. Not- re- sponsible for cute or mistakes he should make." General J. W. Laurie, M.P., was heartily wel- comed by hie colleagues of the Paddineton Borough Council on his return from Canada. The thirtieth anniversary of the procknsfion, a S'hakeapearean p'ay at Denstone College, Staffordshire was celebrated by obe. perfatrznufica of "Twelfth Night."