South Wales Echo

SOUTH WALES NOTES. THERE is bad news again as to the measles. Last month it was chiefly due to this disease that the Cardiff death-rate obtained such unenviable predominance, and now there is another epidemic to be faced in Roath. Canton, Grangetown, and other places have passed through the ordeal, and at last the disease has broken out in another direction. So bad does it seem to be that the medical officer, at a special meeting on Satur- day, actually advised the temporary closing of all the elementary schools. I am not an alarmist, and hardly think that matters are bad enough for that at present. That there is need of every possible vigilance is, however, clear, and that every child should be watched, and that constant visits should be paid to the homes of the parents, is a programme which should be most rigidly fulfilled. WITHOUT wishing to excite any unnecessary fear among parents, I may yet call attention to the fact that in Grangetown the rate of mortality from measles alone was at one time as high as 60per 1,000. Last week in Roath there were no less than fifteen deaths from the disease. These facts have to be faced, and they are eloquent to prove the necessity for the strictest care among all who have the charge of children. To send a child to school from a house where there is conta- gious disease is simply shameful and cowardly. Yet this is probably how the disease has been spread. THAT the authorities are fully alive to the necessity of inspection I am glad to learn from the following communication which I have received from thp chairman of the school board :— Doctor Paine, as the medical officer of health, having drawn the attention of the chairman of the school board to the epidemic amongst the children of the town, it has been arranged for the staff of attendance officers, which will be tempo- rarily increased, to devote their whole attention to visiting the homes, so as to prevent the children from any infected homes attending the schools." IT is pleasing to learn that the collection at workshops and works in aid of the infirmary, which is made on one Saturday in the year in Cardiff and the district, has this year been the largest that hasbeen made since the movement started some years since. The working men have given nearly J3900 out of their wages. Some of the figures are sug- gestive. It is estimated that nearly 30,000 workmen contributed, and that the separate donations averaged between 6d and 9d. This is perhaps as much as their earnings just now will admit of their giving. The present condition of the fund is satisfactory compared with that at one time, when the movement seemed in danger of languishing. The revival is due, no doubt, to the new energy introduced by the hon. secretaries, Messrs Lincoln and Lock, as well as to the assistance of the secretary of the infirmary, Mr Coleman. But the satisfactory feature of it all is the proof'afforded that theworkingmen of Cardiff are willing to give if they are only asked in the proper way. COULD any better means be adopted, so that even the present amount might be increased ? One of the local secretaries.tried last year to start a weekly collection of one penny, and where this was carried out the effects were satisfactory. The chief difficulty lies with those employers who consider the collection irksome, and will not take the necessary trouble. This is a pity. Charity flows most readily when the pocket is fullest, and such a weekly collection would be just the means to give the greatest spirit to that of the working men. So far as I can understand, Saturday's de- cision of the Cardiff Guardians in the matter of Dr Sheen's salary has created considerable dissatisfaction among the ratepayers. The doctor's salary for the union and the Ely Schools was originally £ 140. Then, mainly because of the distance between his house and the schools, it was thought better to have a separate medical officer for the schools. At the same time. it was considered that the increase of work at the union should be recognised by an increase in the salary. The first committee, therefore, proposed to take away the work of the schools and raise the salary to j2175. Dr. Sheen replied to this by offering to do the work of both for J3220, but this was not agreed to, and the second committee proposed to give the doctor £ 200. To this, however, the board said "no'' in emphatic terms, and the committee met again, with the result of Saturday's compromise. This really means that work to the amount of.;E20 a year is taken away, and an addi- tion made to the salary of about half its < original amount. The majority that adopted the resolution was small, and I should not be surprised if they heard of the subject again, and pretty sharply. THE Newport Town Council on Tuesday will have another discussion on the subject o the prospect of getting separate representation. If public feeling iufthe town could arrange t* fthe matter-Jfawould bo soon settled, as it is considered "a very great hardship that a thriving, prospering place like Newport, with 40,000 inhabitants, should have to loose its individuality and subside into compara- tive obscurity among the "Monmouth District Boroughs." But unfortunately the .feeling of the inhabitants will not be the deciding power. Much may be done, and I am sure will be done, to agitate for the coveted prize. At the same time the public will be glad to know in what direction precisely the Town Council intend to move. For this reason the debate is eagerly awaited in the town, and nothing short of very energetic measures will satisfy the public. I HAVE not yet seen the agenda for next Wednesday's meeting of the Swansea Town Council, but from what I can learn, it con- tains the welcome announcement that the reproach from which Swansea has for so long suffered, as being the worst lighted town in the kingdom, will soon be removed. After much difficulty, the corporation has succeeded in bringing the gas company to their senses, and an arrangement has been entered into by means of which Bray's lamps will be introduced into the town. It is, of course, too much to expect that in a town which moves so slowly in these matters as Swansea, that there will be an immediate improvement on a large scale, but it is intended at once to erect these brilliant lamps in some of the prin- cipal thoroughfares and since these new lights will by comparison make the rushlights which will remain in many streets appear still more ridiculously inadequate, I have no doubt the ratepayers will soon insist on Bray's lamps being erected in all but the bye-streets. For my part, I can't conceive why the corporation have allowed so much valuable time to be wasted in an endeavour to come to terms with the gas company. It would have been much better if the corporation had-as, I believe, they will still have to do-taken advantage of their compulsory powers, and purchased this profitable concern for the benefit of the ratepayers.

EDITORIAL NOTES. I THE Nile expedition is making good progress, and if all continues to go well it is not un- likely that before the month is out Lord WOLSELEY will be able to shake hands with General GORDON. It seems now to be pretty clear that it is intended to reach GORDON by the desert route from Korti to Shendy-Korti being at one end and Shendy at the other of the great horse-shoe bend of the Nile. The bulk of the forces of the MAHDI lie between those two points in the neighbourhood of Berber, so that, unless he is bent on giving battle, the rescue may be effected without any serious engage- ment. This may seem odd, seeing that Khartoum is besieged; but the fact of the matter is the seige has never been of such a character as to prevent General Gordon plying his steamers as far as Shendy, and this he has done pretty often, dealing out destruction on the way. It is reported that several of GORDON'S steamers are' now at Shendy. Lord WOLSELEY says if a steamer is at Shendy when General STEWART reaches Metemmeh, he will communciate with General GORDON without delay." Metemmeh, it may be stated, is on the opposite bank of the Nile to Shendy, and it is expected that General Stewart will arrive there on Thursday next, taking the desert route via Gakdul, which is at present occupied by British troops. What if General GORDON, and those who wish to leave Khartoum with him, should be upon a steamer at Shendy on General STEWART'S arrival ? The rescue would be effected-the object of the expedition would be accomplished. It is just possible that some such pleasant surprise may be in store for us. Everything now depends upon the attitude of the MAHDI if he means to fight, there will be bloodshed and considerable delay, for it is stated that he has 3,000 troops in the vicinity of IMetemmeh, They are, it is true, disheartened by failure and famine; but they are brave and reck- less, and if they mean to bar our way we may be sure Lord WOLSELEX will not risk an encounter until our forces are more concentrated than they are at present. The fact that the MUDIR of DONGOLA has been requested to proceed to Merawi, which is further up the Nile than Korti, would suggest that Lord WOLSELEY has a prospect of work for him in the way of negotiation or organisation. OSMAN DIGNA makes no sign, and would seem to have as much as he can do to hold his own against hostile tribesmen. He is like an extinct volcano and we trust to hear before long that the MARDI has become as impotent and as harmless. THE announcement that as the result of the Treharris colliery accident two cases are to be brought against the company for damages under the Employers' Liability Act, will again draw the attention of local miners to the advisability of joining the Miners' Permanent Fund. It appears that two of the men killed were members of the fund, and although they had only paid their first contribution, their widows will be entitled to the full bene- fits accruing from membership. Surely this fact will cause colliers in those districts in which the fund has not obtained a good footing to consider the matter. The Employers' Liability Act is doubtless a thoroughly good measure but it is a difficult and costly process to obtain a verdict under the Act, and when obtained the case can be carried from court to court until the patience and the means of the plaintiff are exhausted. For these reasons, except that the Act caused the formation of the Permanent Fund, it has been of little prac- tical benefit to the miner.

COLLAPSE OF A BLAST FURNACE IN THE FOREST OF DEAN. On Saturday, just as a draw of molten pig iron was about to have taken place, an accident of an alarming- nature occurred at Messrs Henry Crawshay and Son's hot air blast furnaces at Cinderford. It appears that the inside lining of the furnace had been worn considerably, but without the slightest indication the brickwork suddenly collapsed, and an immediate blow out was an imperative necessity. This is a serious misfortune to the manufacturing district of the forest, the greater portion of raw material having been taken from the local furnace. It is feared that some months will elapse before the damage caused can be made good. The whole of the em- ployees at the furnaces will consequently suffer from enforced idleness. Messrs Crawshay's iron miners at Buck's Shaft Mine Works are con- sequently ordered to cease operations. This was the only blast furnace in the forest in work, and was built upon the most modern and improved method.

"COUSIN TOM." "Mary, I am astonished Of course, the grave, elder sister was astonished. In truth and in fact she lived in a chronic state of astonishment, for Mary was always doing some- thing to astonish her friends and relatives. Miss Ruth could scarcely credit the evidence of her own senses in the hazy glow of the August morning, when she came out of the shadows of the little south porch and discovered that yonder moving object, half-way up the branches of the huge old pear tree was not a spray of leaves, nor a cluster of sun-cheeked pears, but Miss Mary Thorne, comfortably perched in the crook of the old tree, her curls all flecked with the sifted rays of sunshine that came down through the shifting canopy of leaves, and a book in her hand. I don't care said the little damsel, laughing saucy defiance. It's the nicest place in the world up here. I feel just like a bird, with the leaves fluttering against my face and the wind blowing so softly, and I intend to stay here. Wouldn't you like to come up here, Ruthy? It's easily done. Just put your foot on that knot, and then-" Ruth who was thirty and weighed a hundred and sixty pounds, bristled up with amazement. "Mary Thorne are you crazy? Come down this instant.' A" Indecd I shan't!' said naughty Mary tossing the silky spower of hair away from her forehead, and glancing down with eyes that shone and sparkled like two blue jewels. But we are all going—" "Yes, I understand; you are all going in triumphal procession to the depot to render an ovation to the great Professor La Place, the wisest, sagest, and grandest of mankind to whom the Thorne family have the unutterable honor of being second cousins, and to escort him solemnly for a month's sojourn at Thorne hall, Oh, dear," ejaculated Mary, I wish I could run away somewhere and hide. I hate this paragon of prime precision. I shan't marry him if he asks, and I mean to behave so badly that he won't dream of it. No, I am not going with you. I hate the close barouches, and it's too warm to ride on horseback. I shall stay at home." And Mary settled herself so snugly, with one tiny, slippered foot swinging down, and her pretty head close to a nest of blue speckled bird's eggs, Ruth gave it up with a sigh of despair. Well, then, have it your own way, you incorrigible romp. I wish you weren't too big to to shut up in a dack closet, or to have your ears well boxed." It is a pity, isn't it?" said Mary, demurely. Of course it is, Mary If cousin Tom Bradley comes this morning, be sure to explain to him why we are absent—and behave like a young lady, mind!" "All right!" said Mary, dauntlessly. "I always liked Tom. We used to have grand romps together." She sat there in the old pear tree, prettier than any hamadryad that might have haunted the mossy old veteran of the garden, her cheeks touched with sunshine and carmine, her dimpled lips apart, now reading a line or two from a book in her lap, now looking up, rapt in girlish reverie, into the blue sky, as it sparkled down through ever-moving leaves, and now breaking into a soft little warble of song, to which the very robins themselves put their heads on one side to listen. The carriage had driven away long since. She had watched it beyond the curve of the winding road the dark mantle of shadow was slowly failing the creeping sun-glow across the velvet lawn below, and the clock in the old church-spire among the far off woods had chimed out eleven. And ill Mary Thorne sat there in those forked blanches of the old pear tree. Suddenly there floated into her leafy sanctum a pungent, aromatic odour, which made her lean curiously forward, shading her eyes with one hand, the better to penetrate the green foliage below. Not the late monthly roses, not the amethyst borders of heliotrope, not the spicy geraniums- ncne of these blossoms distilled that peculiar smell. "My patience!" said little Mary, "it's a cigar- A cigar it was, and the owner thereof-she could just ses a white linen coat and a tall head covered with black, wavy curls—stood on the porch steps quietly smoking and indulging in a lengthened view of the garden slopes. that's Tom Bradley said Mary to herself. "Now, if he thinks I'm coming down out of this declicioua, cool place to sit up straight in the hot parlours, he's mistaken Tom she called out, in a silver accent of imperative summons, and then burst into merry laughter at the evident amazement at which the Granger gazed around him, vainly trying to conjecture whence the caii had proceeded. You dear, stupid cousin Tom! sue ejaculated. stare off toward the ca.;)0ag-e beds- Look straight up here. You may come up if you please there's plenty of room for both. You are Cousin Tom, aren't you? she continued, as sud- den misgivings crossed her mind. 11 Of course I am; and you are Mary, I sup- pose? Mary herself. Up with you, Tom Catch hold of this branch -there! Now shake bands- you saucy fellow I didn't say you might kiss me Well, I couldn't help it; and, besides, arent we cousins ?' said Mr Tom, swinging himself com- fortably into a breach just above Mary. Why, Tom, how you have changed" ejacu- lated the Young, lady, pushing back the curls with one hand, that she might better view the play- mate of her childhood's days. Your hair never curled so before and what a nice moustache you've got! I shouldn't have known you, Tom P' No ?" said Tom, roguishly. „ And you've grown so tall !-I declare, Tom, you're splendid "I could return the compliment, if I dared. But where are all the rest of the family ? The house below is as empty as a haunted hall." All gone to welcome that horried, poky old Professor La Place, who has graciously indicated his willingness to pass a few weeks with us. Tom, I do hate that professor." ''Hate him! What for?" „. Oh, I don't know, I'm sure. He is a sn^ dried, conceited old wretch, and I'll wager a box of gloves he wears spectacles "Nonsense, Mary? Why, he is only twenty- six. I don't care; I know he is rheumatic and wears spectacles, for all that. And Tom—now if you'll never, never, breathe a word of tins I won't, upon my honour said Tom. Well, then, papa has actually got the idea into his dear old head that I would make a nice wife for the professor, and Mary turned away with crimson indignation flashing in her cheeks. It is too bad of you to laugh, Tom. I never, never will marry that man?" I wouldn't if I were you,: condoled xom. But, Mary, wait and see the man before you de- cide. He may be quite a decent fellow." No said Mary, shaking her head and biting her cherry lips firmly. "I hate him beforehand." What a, spiteful little puss you are said her companion, laughing. "No, Tom, I'm not." And the blue eyes became misty. I love papa and Ruth dearly, and.I love almost everybody. I like you, Tom, but I hate Professor La Place. And I want you to promise, Tom, that you'll be my friend, ana not allow him to tease me into walks, or rides, or tete-a-tetes of any kind. Will you?" s&Would he? If she had asked him to precipi- tate himself out of the pear tree upon the steps below, with those eyes fixed on his, he'd have done it; any man of taste would. I promise!" he said, and they shook nanas on it. What a cozy place for a chat that gnarled old tree was.. And when they bad talked over everything they could think of, it was the most natural thmg. lU the world that Tom should recover the book which had slipped down into the net-work of^iny bows, and read poetry to his pretty cousin, in the deep, musical voice that maidens love to listen to. I And Mary sat there watching the pretty curls blowing too and fro on his broad, white brow, and the long black lashes almost touching his olive cheeks; and she thought how very, handsome Cousin iTom was, how much he had changed in the ten years that had elapse since she had met him, and she wondered whether Tom was engaged to any pretty girl somehow she hoped not. Now, why couldn't Tom have been rich, like that horrid Professor La Place, instead of a poor medical student, and- And when the large black eyes were suddenly lifted to hers, Mary felt as though he had read every thought in her mind, and blushed scarlet. Come, Tom," she, chattered, to hide her con- fusion, we've been here long enouggb- Help me down and I will show you the old sun-dial that we used to heap with buttercups when we were children." A rumbling of wheels; and it was the returning of the carriage, and Mary clung to Tom's arm. The awful professor she whispered. Now, Cousin Tom, be sure you stand by me through everything." To my life's end I" was the whispered answer. But there was no one in the carriage save ivir Thorne and Ruth. It drew up on the grand sweep beside the two cousins. Where's the professor ?" He was not at the depflfc," said Rutb,J,aud— But Mr Thorne had sprung from the carriage and clasped both the stranger's hands in his. "La Place, is ;t possible Why, we have just been looking for you at Mill Station." I am sorry to have inconvenienced you, sir," was the reply; but I came by the way of Wharton, and walked over this morning." "Nevermind now, so you are safely here?" exclaimed the old gentleman. "Ruth, my dear —Mary, let me introduce you to your cousin, Professor La Place Mary had dropped his arm, and stood dis- rr.ayed. You told me that you were Cousin Tom Tiiat is my name, and I believe I am a distant cousin by relationship. Now, Mary," and the black eyes sparkled, "don't be,an,-ry because I don't take snuff or wear spectacles. I beg the other Cousin Tom's pardon, whoever he ii but I am very glad he isn't here. Mary, be just, and don't hate Cousin Tom because his other name happens to be La Place." But no doubt it was a very perplexing thing to have two Cousin Toms and so, about six months subsequently, Miss Mary contrived to obviate that inconvenience by allowing one of them to assume a, nearer relationship and in spite of all her assertions to the contrary, she is Mrs Profes- sor La Place. For it is a solemn fact in this world, that when- ever a girl says she never, never will do a thing, she is pretty sure to do it the first chance she gets; and Mary is no exception to the general rule.

FACTS AND FANCIES. I WHEN PAPA COMES HOME.—A well-known London alderman tells a story at his own expense, about a small donkey which he sent to his country- house for the use of the children. One of the little daughters, going out with the nurse to admire the animal in its paddock, was sorely distressed when the donkey lifted up his voice and brayed dolefully. Poor thing, poor thing exclaimed the sympathetic child. But, suddenly brightening up, she turned to her nurse, and said, Oh, I am so glad Papa. will be here on Satur- day, and then it won't feel so lonesome." ABOUT A SERPENT IN HUMAN SHAPE.—Mr, afterwards Baron, Platt had a decidedly comic Physiognomy, and took much delight in assuming melancholy airs. On one occasion, when he was before Lord Lyndhurst, the judge said to him, "Pray spare us that wife-and-twelve-children face But the woe-begone looks which had so little effect upon the judge served at times to impress the jury and in a breach of promise case I' Mr Platt gained for his client more damages than might otherwise have been awarded to her by winding up with the pathetic outburst—" And, gentleman, this serpent in human shape stole the virgin heart of my unfortunate client whilst she was returning from confirmation A SWEET REMINDER.—Some years ago, as the great Barnum was selling off his menagerie, he noticed that when lot 20, a ferocious female Ben- gal tiger, was put up several bids came from a quiet ordinary-looking citizen dressed in deep mourning, anything but a showman in appear- ance, and finally the animal was knocked down to this stranger. After all was over, Barnum ap- proached him, and inquired what on earth he could want with such a quadruped. Waal," re- plied the purchaser, with a profound and sugges- tive sigh, you see, professor, I was a married man, and my wife died last week, and I miss her so I've bought this tiger." Barnum silently pressed the widower's hand. A chord had been touched. The two men understood each other, and no more was said. UNANSWERABLE QUESTION.—A gentleman was passing the Institute of France, on the Qnai Conti, the other day, accompanied by a little English boy of the tender age of seven. Be- fore that building, consecrated to the sages of France, is a fine statue of the Re- public, which is represented as a woman. The child asked what it was, and, being told, said "Then it is sha who now reigns in France. That is curious for I thought that no woman could reign here." The reply was, Yes, that is the law." Then, if so, why is there a Republic here? The French seem to like changing their minds," added the child. Oh," he was told, "it is only a form of Government!" "Then why," iterated he, "is the Republic represented to be a woman ?" A FORTY YEAR-OLD SPRING CHICKEN. Two women got into one of the southern tram-cars the other day, every seat of which was filled. One of the women had prematurely grey hair, and wore spectacles, because she was near-sighted. The other was homely, and carried a big bag. A beautiful girl jumped up, and said to the grey- haired woman, Take my seat, madam I am younger than you." Then every man in the tram rose and offered his place to the beautiful girl who only smiled sweetly, and said, No, thank you I prefer to stand." Meanwhile the woman with grey hair laid hold of a strap and glared at the crowd. I may not be a chit of 17." she said, in vinegar tones but I'm not infirm, I'll give you to understand, and can stand up as long as anybody And the homely woman with the bag sat down in a space 14 inches wide, and wondered what it was all about. ,r, MORE BEAR THAN LAW. When Gratiot, Michigan, began to be disturbed by pioneers, and had its first justice of the peace, a farmer named Davison walked three miles to secure a warrant against a neighbour named Meacham for assault and battery. To save the constable a six-mile trip, the defendant walked in with the plaintiff. They encountered his honour just leaving his house with a gun on his shoulder, and Davison halted him with— Squar', I want a warrant for this man for strikin' me." I'm in an awful hurrv- come to-morrow." "So'mlin a hurry; and I'm goin'.tohave a raisin'to-morrer." "Meacham, did you hit him?" "Yes." "Davison, did you strike back?" "No." "Meacham, would you rather work for him three days than go to gaol ?" ''I guess so." "And that will satisfy yon, Davison ?" Yes." Then make tracks for home, and don't bother me further My son has just come in with the news that an old bear and three cubs are up the old beech down at the edge of the slashing, and I'm going to have some bear-meat if it upsets the State of Michigan. Court's ad- journed." THEATRICAL MIXTURE.-An actor of the name of Bass, says a writer in the Theatre, was the manager of a provincial theatre in England on the boards of which Edmund Kean once appeared for a few nights. During his brief engagement Othello was performed three or four times, the rule of the Moor and his ancient being alter- nately assumed by the great tragedian and the manager. One evening they had been dining to- gether, and the bottle had been passed too freely. They got through the play however without their condition being discovered by the audience until they came to the scene in the third act in which Othello seizes Iago by the throat and delivers the speech beginning, Villain, be sure thou prove," &c. Kean, who on" this occasion was the Othello, as he spoke, grasped Iago so fiercely that, being somewhat unsteady on his legs, he fell, dragging his companion down with him. This accident confused them both, and, when they regained their feet, Kean, instead of waiting for Bass to continue the dialogue, himself uttered the exclamation, "Is it come to this?" which properly belongs to Iago. Bass, who was letter perfect in either part took the cue, and went on with that of Othello. For a moment or two the audience were not a little puzzled by this inter- change of characters; but, as soon as the rea facts of the case dawned upon them_, they ^PP^e" ciited to the full the absurdity ot situation, and,the remainder of 'the scene usu^_ listened to in breathless silence—was greece with frequent peals of laughter. Both actor wer alike surprised and disgusted at the me they caused. Kean in particular was in a to ingrage. Anger in some measure h ";) Still he had no suspicion of the been guilty of, and when he quitted the -tage made his way hastily to the greenroom As he entered the apartment, however, the reflection of his bronzed visage and Moorish garments in a small mirror over the mantelpiece caught his eye, and, turning to his fellow-actor he abrupt y exclaimed" By Heaven, Bass, Im OtheUo! Of course you are t" was the response. Then why the deuce did you assume my character ? was the angry query. "Because you m the first instance took mine, and, being as drunk as you were, I simply followed your lead." Kean was about to make a furious rejoinder to this retort, when suddenly, the humourous side of the incident striking him, the heavy frown which had gathered on his brow re- laxed, and, bursting into a hearty fit of laughter, he said, Well, after all, I believe it was as much my fault as yours. But I fancy we shall'find the people in front in no very appreciative humour during the remainder of the evening." In this, was mistaken. When he next ap peared upon the stage, the magnificence of hi acting—he being now upon his mettle-quickly quelled all manifestations of merriment, and during the remainder ot the play he never once relaxed his hold upon the audience.

MEDICINES, ELASTIC STOCKINGS, CHEMICALS, DRUGS, &c., by parcel post, under lib, 3d, Kay Bros., Stockport. 213

YANKEE YARNS. RIPVANWiyKI.E. VVnile dr iJoseph; Jefferson was once playing HIp van Winkle" at Chicago, he went to the theatre very much exhausted by a long day's fc-ihing on the lake. When the curtain rose on the third act, it disclosed tUp whits-haired Rip htill deep in his tsventy "years' nap. Five, ten, twenty minute-3 passed, and he did not waken. The audience began to get impsftient and the prompter uneasy. The great actor doubtless knew what he was about, but this was carrying the realistic" business too far. The fact was that all the time Jefferson was really sleeping the sleep of the just, or rather of the fisherman who had sat eight hours in the sun without getting a single bite. Finally the gallery became uproar- ious, and one of the "gods" wanted to knew if there was going to be "nineteen years more of this snooze business." At this point Jefferson began to snore. This decided the prompter, who opened a small trap beneath the stage and began to prod Rip from below. The much-travelled comedian began to fumble in his pocket for an imaginary ticket, and muttered drowsily, "Going right through, 'ductor." The audience was trans- fixed with amazement at this entirely new read- ing, when Jefferson sat up with a loud shriek, and evidently in agony. The exasperated prompter had "jabbed him with a pin. The play nt on then—with a rush. A OALIFORNIAN BARGAIN. The other day one of Frisco's most esteemed young burglars was by some oversight arrested and fined for creating a disturbance. In default of the fine he was to stay in gaol thirty days. The prisoner was deeply humiliated by this sen- tence, as "burgling" has been so dull recently that he was not in funds. He sent, however, for a well-known Pine-street broker. "Mr R. said the burglar-they were old college chums—"I want to make you a business proposition, Last month your house was entered and robbed of a fine breach-loader gun, a stem-winder watch, and a pair of diamond studs." "Yes. Well?" "Well, I took'em; but you can't prove it. Now, if you will pay my present fine, I'll return you the gun or the watch—take your choice." I'll tell you what 111 do, said the broker, after a second's reflection-" I'll do it for the gun and the studs." Couldn't possibly," said the crowbar artist. -4 1 want the studs to wear at a dinner the boys are getting up. But I tell you what I will do. My dress vest buttons up pretty high I can get along with one stud; so I'll let you have the other. 9" Now, what d'ye say?" "It's a go," said the broker, and he passed out and settled up. A BIG INVESTMENT I A New Yorker was seated in an ornce m Gunnson city one day not long ago, when a grisly-looking old man entered and asked if that te was the place where they sold shares of the White Horse Silver Mine. Being assured that he was in the office of I-lie company, he observed, "I have heard the White Horse spoken of as being a likely mine." It certainly is. We took ten thousand do!lar.s' worth of ore out in one day." "Phew! She must be just old richness! How many men have ye got to work Oh, about three hundred Have ye, though ? Are the sheers going off purty lively ?" "Shares are selling like hot cakes, and we have only a few left. Every- body says the White Horse is a big investment." What are sheers worth to-day?" "I will sell you at ninety-live, though I knovv they will be vvori'i face-value to-morrow.' '•Ino You doi-i t really mean ninety five?" I do," that's better. There's a hundred sheers which you sold my pard yesterday for twenty dollars. I went over to tiio mine, found nothing but a hole and a dead mule, and I told him I'd come up and get his money back or do some-shooting. I'm 'tarnal glad to liJld them i sheers has riz from twenty to ninety-five. That will give my pard his money back, and buy me a winter outfit besides. Here's the sheers, and now let me see the colour of the money." But, sir, we-" Pass out the casti said the old man, as he rested the end of his shooter on the edge ot the counter. The "company" had left Ins revolver in his overcoat out-side. After a look around, with a bland smile he began counting out the money and as ha made the exchange, he said, certainly, ir-i-eatpst of pleasure, sir. Sorry you didn't hold them one day more, and get the full face-value." CIRCUMVENTING A WIDOW. I There was a Detroiter among tne trio or officials who passed over the route of the Butler Road to secure the right of way. In some cases farmers cheerfully signed offj in others money had to be used but in one case the committee found a most determined opposition. The road would divide a widow'sfarm. and she was independent, obstinate, and. defiant. She knew that her haystacks and barns would be destroyed by sparks, her Jive stock run over by trains, and her slumbers disturbed bv the rattle of trains, and she would rot listen to argument. In this emergency one of the committee said, Madam, do you know of any widow in this neigbourhood who would be willing to board a gentleman connected with the construction of our road ? He is a widower, and prefers to board with a widow." No" I don't know as I do. Is he a nice man?" "Splendid man, and has money in the bank. We want him to locate permanently at this point, and are in hopes he will take a wife. It is unfortunate that-" I never did take boarders," she mused; "but-" If you only could now, I'm sure you would not regret it. He is extremely fond of children, and would be like a father to your little ones." "Perhaps I might accommo- dote you." Ah, thanks! He would be here next week if this right-of-way matter was decided but, as it is, he may not- "Do you agree to pay damages if you burn my barn," "Of course we do." "And I'll probably get used to the noise?" Oli, of course. In a week you won't mind it. Fact is, you'll sit up every night till midnight, anyhow, after the gentleman arrives." "Oh no I shan't! I shall never love again but, if he is a nice man and loves children, why, I don't know as I ought to stop your road. I guess I'll sign Detroit ape1.. TOO CLOSE FIGGERING. I Get you tickets at tne waggon sereamea the doorkeeper of the circus yesterday to a young man with a girl on his arm who had a handful of small change. This is the third time you have come here without tickets when you know I can't take money Tho young man and his girl fell back, and, as they did not go near the ticket waggon, and yet seemed very anxious to see the circus, a curious minded citizen edged round and enquired of the young man, Why don't you buy your tickets if you want to go in ?" 'Cause I'm short," was the whispered reply. I didn't 'low enough for incidentals when I was figgering on the cost of this thing but I don't want the gal to know it." How much are you short ?" Only five cents. I figgered that ten •shillings would pay all expenses, but 1 go left. We spent ten cents for pea-nuts, ten c on the street-cars, and five in candy. J\ one dollar left to pay our way in, when the g,-tl frot a pea-nut stuck in her throat and I haa to buy a glass of lemonade to wfb1V| do it though till I had oounded her on tne back more'n fifty times, and tried to pull ■one of them fire-hydrants up by the roots. I'd lend you five cents to make up your dollar," said the citizen. "You will, by gosh ? But that lets me out I'd made up my mind to tell the gal that the tigers had got loose, and the hyenas had ran mad but she's long-headed, and might not have believed it. Thankee, sir and the fust time I'm in town I'll pay it back. Hang it, I orter figgered on eleven shillings 'stead of ten, but you've made me happy for life Come, Bets. "beti-oit Paper. "SNIP" SNIPPING. I A cheap tailor in ban Francisco, whose trade- mark on his advertising-boards is a. venerable- looking man at work cross-legged, is thus attacked by a rival snip of the same town-" Don't be humbugged by hoary-headed patriarchs who pic- ture themselves sitting cross-legged and advertise pants made to order$3,$4-. and $5 a pair. A few pieces of cassimere and a terrible amount of cheek is their stock-in-trade. Don't be humbugged. Do you know how it's done ? When you go into one of these stores that cover up their st^)P" windows with sample lengths of cassimere marked 'pants to order, 83.50 and$4 '-after you have made a selection of the piece of cloth you want your pants made from, the pompous individual who is chief engineer of the big tailor shears lays them softly on the smoothest part of his cutting-table, unrolls his tape-line, and proceeds to measure his victim all over the body. The several measurerients are all carefully entered in a book by the other humbug. The customer is then told that his pants will be finished in about twenty-four or thirty-six hours ail depends upon how long it takes to shrink the cloth. That's the end of the first act. -^re second—The customer no sooner leaves the s than the would-bs merchant tailor calls 1Vs.)]esa[e boy Jim, and sends him around to sonie w iobber, and says, Get me a pair of P?™ 3' ^ppp'nf 30 '—-which is tile siioddy cassimere that your pants are to uc 34 around the waist and 33 in the le • in&y a.e pulled out of a pile of a hundred. pairs or more just like them, made by Chmese cheap la hour All the carefully made measurement'* «md oiL clap- trap is the bait on the l Je order S3 50,$4, and$5. laats the way its done.'Coma and select for yourselves from the largest stock)" &c.

The Nile Expedition. — -■ — ARRIVAL OF A MESSENGER I FROM GORDON. All's Well" at Khartoum. The Press Association has been furnished wiO a copy of the following telegram received at tO War Oince on Sunday from General Lord Wolsele) I to the Secretary of State for War KORTI, 11th January, 1885, 1.50 p. m messenger, who left this place 18th December with a letter to General Gordon, has just returned't He was one day in Khartoum, and left on th4 28 Ji December. He was taken prisoner returning aud Gordon's letter taken from him. Hei bears marks of having been bound and beaten- Sewn up m his clothes, and not taken from hinv was a facsimile of the previous little note bearing the same date (l .-uii December), and announcing all well then. Gordon was in perfect health, and the troops on the five steamers he saw were well and happy. The steamers seize cattle and raiii, and take them up the river to Khartoum. Thai messenger returned on foot via. Bayuda. I [KEUTER'S TELEGRAM J I CAIKO, Sunday.—Authentic news of a satis* factory nature has been received here from Khar toum as late as the 28th ult. General Gordon and his troops were then in good health and spirits- Cattle and grain were being brought to KhartouJ1 from the north by General Gordon's steamers. .I[" TI-)IES TELEGRA-IIS.] i KORTI, baturday.—The Mudir of Dongol* arrived here this afternoon, and had a long and cordial interview with Lord Wolseley. A col" voy of maize has started for Gakdul, accompanied by Colonel Burnaby. A telegram on Sunday says: When the force sent out reaches Metemmeh Sir Charles Wilson will go to Khartoum and confer with General Gordon, returning as soon as possible to report personally to Lord Wolseley. n -1 ["STANDARD" TELEGRAM.] I ivORTi, Saturday.—General Gordon reports ail well at Khartoum. His steamers ply without interruption to Metemmeh. It is arranged as soon as General Stewart's column reached Metemmeh, Col. Wilson, with three other officers, shall go up immediately in one of Gordon's steamers to Khartoum to ascertain from him the exact position of affairs, and after a consultation with the general return to Metemmeh by I steamer. [" DAILY CHRONICLE" TELEGRAM.] I HANDAB, via. Merawi, Friday.-The South Staffordshire Regiment and a small force of cavalry have been busily engaged during the last few days examining the country around, and in obtaining supplies. Twelve whalers, manned by the infantry, went as far as Abudom, and returned here in triumph with a quantity of grain. The work of building the fort here continues. It will be armed with artillery. The health of the troops continues excellent. There is not a single man in hospital ————

THE NEW EGYPTIAN LOAN. I ———" To-day s Sumdavd understands that the French | Government have received from Germany and Ru ssia an intimation that they would not be I prepared to join in an international guarantee for the New Egyptian Loan.

RUSSIAN PROGRESS IN ASIA. ["TIMES" TELEGRAM.] IEHERAN, baturday.—The Russians are laying a, teleg-raph line from Astrabad to Mero. The Shall intends to visit Ispahan during the coming spring.

THE OUTRAGES IN COREA. [" STAKDARD TELEGRAM.] j SHANGHAI, Sunday.—The partyinovv in power in the Coret have issued an official statement, clearly implicating Japan in the recent outrages. It is now ascertained that the outbreak occurred prematurely.

RUMOURED LIBERAT10N;0F LOUISE MICHEL. [" DAILY CHRONICLE" TELEGRAM.] t 1- PARIS, Sunday.—A rumour is current, the cor- rectness of which I have every reason to believe, that Louise Michel has been liberated from prison, and is now either in Brussels or in London.

I FRANCE AND CHINA. Rumoured Ultimatum by France. ["STANDARD" TELEGRAM.] .]■ IVIENNA, Sunday.—Semi-official French infor- mation has reached Vienna to the effect that all ultimatum will shortly be presented to China, to be followed by a declaration of war. The French diplomatic ngents have been ordered to leave Shanghai, but they will not quit the country alto- gether, retiring only to Saigon, or Hong Kong.

THE TRIAL OF MADADE OLOVtS I HUGUES. A Duel as the Sequel. I [" DAILY CHRONICLE TBLEGKAM.J I PARIS. Sunday, it ]s understood that M. Clovis Hugues will refuse to pay the 2,000 francs damages, which the court condemns him to pay to the representatives of the murdered man Morin. A duel, arising out of this case, was fought yesterday aue:-a.on, between M. Theophile Chavargnon, a friend of M. Clovis Hugues, and M. F. Bovie, and ended in the wonnding of M. Bavis,

I FEEL SO WEARY AND TIRED" Is tbe exclamation of many whom we daily meet, yet they never pause to think or upon the causa of this feelin? It may arise f';om f uygish vnd impure, blond which if neslecteJ. is the forerunner of .serious nature warning us. 13 *1 l^hing wrong, which must be set nght a 1 n and .hngenng illness will speedily follow. require to throw off this weary ana mea teehngv she requires to have new life and energy Imparted to all the organs I of the body, and the best, means to do so is to take I "Gwilym vans Quinine Bitters," which purifies the blood, and imparts new life and energy. Ic is invalu- able to those who are su'iering from affecsions- of the chest, indigestion, nervousness, debility in its worst; forms, depression of spirits, and melancholy. GWILYM EVAXS'S QUININE BITTERS. — THK VEGETABLE TOMC.—This preparation is now exten- sively taken throughout the country by patients suffer- ing from debilitv, nervousness, and general exhaustion, and, if any value be attached to b»n^'Vest'mony, the effic icv of this medicine haa been successfully estab- lished. Its claims have been testea ana medical profession and others, ana corroborated by the written testimonials of rrle"- The Quinine Bitters contain not only » *quantity of Quinine in each dose, but the C1 £ leS of the followm- well-known herbs-sarsapa. UU, sa;fr0n ?ent.an, laven- dpr and dandelion root. the use of Quinine is well 1-no'wn but it has never been satisfactorily combined with these preparations uniil, after overcoming consi r)en hie difficultie; 1 le Proprietor was able to secure a nerfectly "niform Preparation, combining all the essential properties 0f the above plants ia thei greatest pu«ty and concentration. It is now established as a family meilicine and is increasing jn popular avour the more it. js known and tested. Gwylim Evans's Quinine Bitters is & tonic Pick-me-up,' scientifically mixed in happy proportions. MODE OF ACTION (And here lies the secret of the Remedy. )-_Tjle Quinine Bitters (being a vegetable tonic), by their peculiar power, strengthen that part of the system which is weakest, and, therefore, most liable to colds and their attendant diseases. The in- gredients they contain cannot be put into pills, but the patient can follow his usual occupation without fear of exposure. „ (J WN.YM EVANS' QUININE BITTERS are reeornmende- by Doctors Analysts, Chemists. Sold in %s Sd <!»• 4.; Gd Bottles, and Cass containing three Us Sd pottles c, J.2 Gel per case, by all Chemists, or from the Proprietor, arriaqe free, parcels post (tinder cover). X. S o Or"- houlc'l suffer without trying Gwilym Evan- Quip- BitW<! "—Mr nwiLVM EVANS. F.C.S., Fi'onri!* aboratorv. Tjlanelly, South Wales. KAY' COMPOUND, for Colds a.nd Cou'^U-. B throughout the WorM. la I id 9dJ &c< xay Br, Stockpwt.