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HARRY SEYMOUR; ' OR Incidents…







YANKEE YARNS. I ALMOST A NATIVE. Aro you a native ot tne ;talce. asxea me judge of the United States Court, addressing a fat man who had been summoned to testify in a case of illicit distilling. "Mostly, jedge." "I mean, were you born in this State?" I understand. I wa'n't born here, but I am mighty nigh a native." Came here when you were quite young, I suppose?" No, sir. ain't been here but about ten year." How old are you ?" "Fifty." Then how is it that you ara very nearly a native of the State ?" Well, when I came here I only weighed about a hundred pounds. Now I weigh two forty, so you see one hundred and tnrty pounds of me are native while only one hundred pounds come from Missoury." THE JEALOUS JEW. I Solomon Isaacs, tho Baxter street Don Giovan- ni, wedged his not very pretty face between the bars of the cage in the Tombs police court yester- day morning and showed his teeth defiantly to the world in general. Unbiassed spectators remarked that he only needed a, little table, a trapeze and a tail, and he might have been pho- tographed for the Central Park chimpanzee, begging the letter's pardon. His forehead was only about an inch in height, his smalt head was shaped like a truncated cone, and his high cheek bones, sly eyes and hairy covering completed ms marked resemblance to a monkey, saving again the latter's presence. What in Heaven's there was about Mr Isaccs to attract womankind only woman kind could say, but there they were, the ton and elite of Baxter street society, casting tender looks of solicitude upon the noble animal in his cage. Three women, a "live dollar" lawyer and Don Gioyanni gathered about Juf'ge Duffy in a group suggestive of Barnum's happy family. The little judge took in the utuation at a glance. Don Giovanni's wife, a. woman with the face and tem- per of a hatchet, testified through an interpreter, that he refused to contribute to her support, one was cross-examined in Baxter-street English, which she spoke readily enough, and admitted that she didn't let her husband into the houso after he had been playing his rakish pranks among women younger than she. I thought so," murmured the Iitt)o judge ".there'S;1ll01e jealousy than destitution in this case" Id vos unaple vor me de mamsh to gescam- ted," mumbled the monkey. "Dot's diuc, dot's tru' said his counsel, eagerly. "Oh, come oR exclaimed the disgusted justice. I guess t)t' can afford to support his wito if ho can afford to pay a lawyer 50 dollars-or less.' Then the great and only Duffy thought of h's fatherland and mustered up a formidablo array of classical German. Comcn sie here he exiaimed, a wild Gcethe like light in his eye. Tell him in German that he's a bad man, a schletcs mann. How many children—ahem—nuotidies madchen habeu sic? Ain't you ashamed of yourself the father of -t family, making love to young girls Look at this picture. (Here the judge produced a tintyp'' ot an apo and a rather pretty young miss of thaAl'cn street miitinery shop variety.) Here you are putting on scoHops sitting alongside of a girl who i.-n't your wife, I 'H bs sworn, unless you have several of 'em, and I must sa,y you look it." But, Chudge, de monish-— Stop, stop! If you work you can milcki money enough any of your race can do that. I know :dt about them. Why, if you were at the North Pol'? you wou)d be trading jack-knives with the L,qiiimaiix and seUing trousers to the po!ar be.i,ri. They can't keep you from making money. But, there, I'm sick of the case. You have got to jjehavp, Mr Isaacs. Do-.c Onthlr ga!)s—— bogau 'Mrs 1"Jac: If he ,gces with other womca I'H send hnn tn tha Isbnd for twelve months, exchnmed the little judge with a terrible frown. The order of the c'urt is that the prisoner nhaU pay his wife 2 doUar.s 50 cents a week. Now, get out, all of you. Phew" There was a rustle in the court-room and Bax- ter-street's best society went homo to rumtuatf upon the fact that. tho wages of marriage are 2 dollars 50 cents per week. mIN. Dexter-street and Cliktii;,iii--q(ltiqrc arc tho centra of the old clùtlw:Lt.ra.rl.e i u X e..w y ork. Dirk collars, Fit(-rci unlighted by anything excepting candles and back rooms, in which a ray of sun- Rhine was never known to penetrate, are the favourite places for the storage of th's class of merchandise. The darker the room the fewer flaws the unwary customer can pick tn the bar- pains, which is a truism no one better understands than the satute individuals who control this Ime ot tradp. o,) Baxttr-street both sides of the thorougfares are thickly lined with clothing stores. wt'oso wares give the sidewalk the appearance of an elongated backyard on wash day. I*' ? ?ere that the trade thrives. This is its homo. Lhe bucolic visitor who is unaccustomed to the ways of the metropolis and happens to stray into this neighbourhood is lucky indeed if ho escapes with out purchasing enough cloths to dress regi- ment. The first stores he meets are where nothing but new garments are offered. The a-ttable and persistent proprietor stands outside his door like the spider in his web. He scize3 the stranger by the hand and warmly greets him, Ha auks after his family and his friends, and manages to m- sinua.te a word in regard to the matter of clothing. If the stranger is a smaller man than he is, or happens to be of an inquisitive temperament, he is usually nduced to enter the building. From that moment he is doomed. No one ever goes in without buying. He might avoid purchasing, it is true, but ha never does. The age of miracles is unfor- tunately past. It oiten happens that the proprietors of theso cmnmercial dives make a mistake in the selection of a customer. One warm afternoon last summer a. tall, heavily built man, wearing an exceedrngty badly ntting suit of clothes and showing dissjp? tion and ill-temper in his face, slowly ?.?d <!own Baxter-stroot off the Bowery. -?"?"" seem to make much diSercuoe to him where he went or how soon ho g't there. He wan evidently walking chiefi:) for hm own amusement, and judg- ing from the lowering scowl on his face he was app:o-ent!y extracting very little pleasure from the ex,3r,-Ise. As he slouched along the narrow thor- oughfare, he ran against a short man with a Hebraic east of eatures and a red beard. I beg yer pardon," muttered tho stranger as he sidled out into the gutter to let the little man pase by. Dot vhas all right, mine friend." replied the Jew, as a bland smile became visible under the shadow of his nose. Dot vhas all right, but vhat can I do for'you dis peautiful day I don't want nothing," replied the visitor with a surly growl, as he attempted to push his way past the merchant. who had taken this means of inviting his custom. Yaas, but can't I sell you a nice bair of ban- taloous? I haf a bair here dat vill yust fit you." "I don't want no pantaloons," observed the stranger," and I ain.t ngoin' to buy none. D'yer hear ?" "Yust let me show you my psautiful stock. Yust stop in, yust for von minute," and the mer- chant with ill-timed zeal caught hold of h'swoutd- bo customer's arms. By this timo n, large crowd of idle merchanLa sauntered out of their den& and spread themselves along the sidewalk to be of any assistance should their aid be required, and to secure portion of the trade should the victim pan out largely enough to go around. "Leadde eheatleman into your store,'?coo, shouted one of the spectators, whose shop was the next in the line. Wot's that?" yowled tha stranger, b,,i,4hten- inK up. "Wot yer goin' to do wid me ? Yer gin' to lead me in, are yer? Well (here ho strata tenod out his rip;ht arm and sent the merchant rolling into the gutter), I guess I have soniethin to say about that." As the Hebrew struck the gutter his fellow- tradesmen swarmed around the hurley visitor. Some rushed into their stores and brought out long poles, used to haug up clothes with others picked up stools, and for a. moment it looked AS if it would fare badly with the stranger. Bu.t a wicked light came into his face and bracing him- self squarely ho waded into the mob and 10 ?? than half a. minute ho waa alone, and tha side- walk looked as if a private cyclone had struck the south side of Baxter-street.. Five minutes later a tall man with a. faint smile on his face walked into a Bowery raloon and called for a gin nzz. You appear warm, Mr. Sullivan?" remarked the bar-keeper obsequiously. ? "Yaas." replied the Boston champion, ??s been learning a lot of chumps how to treat a gentleman when they meet him."