South Wales Echo

LONDON LETTER. ^SPECIALLY WIRED. I I In orR GALLERY CORRESPONDENT.] I LONDON, Monday Night. I The Admiralty has lost no time in giving to the public an official assurance that tliere is nothing whatever in the scare over the orders given to the Channel Fleet. Some weeks ago the squadron ordered to ba ready for the 7th mat., to proceed on the ordinary winter cruise, and Saturday's instructions were issued merely in the usual way. But that so much should have been made or a telegramwhich, according to this explanation, would have been sent out as a matter of course, shows the tension of the public nnnd with respect to possible complica- tions in foreign affairs. The alarmists have so long preached national danger from the housetops, that a slight incident of this kind causes the people almost to believe that there must be something in the jeremiads to which they have so long patiently listened. The fact that two Cabinet Councils had been held on successive days wa, quite enough I. to account for the commotion which has been created. It is highly improbable that Mr Glad- stone will attcnd the rent audit of the Hawarden estate on Wednesday. The tenants had hoped for the Dresence of their landlord, if only for a few minutes, but asthe right. hon. gentleman is not sufficiently well to attend service at the church, it is scarcely likely that he will be found At the Hawarden Arms. It was at one of these recent audit dinners that the Premier advised a more extensive cultivation of fruit, with a view to the manufacture and consumption of jam on a larger scale than is now within the ex- perience of the farmers—a suggestion which has often furnished Tory speakers with food for a good deal of attenuated satire. The cold thaw which has set in will, it b feaied, not tend to hasten the Prime Minister's restoration to health. Mr Gladstone is not the only distinguished man who has been prostrated by the severity of the weather. Earl Cairns, who was to have presided to-day at a united prayer-meeting in connectio.i with the Evangelical Alliance, is prostrate from a severe attack of congestion of the lungs. Again, Mr Spurgeon, who was to have left London to-day for Mentone, has been assailed once more by his very old enemy, rheumatic gout. He is unable to travel, albeit three deacons of the the Metro- politan Tabernacle were to have gone with him. For any one suffering from rheumatic gout, such a day as we have had in London must mean martyrdom. The keen frost has disappeared, and the atmosphere is damp, raw, and searching. From this complaint Mr Spurgeon is seldom free for long, and many a journey has he undertaken to Nice andMentono in the hope of obtaining relief. j Sir Andrew Clark lias upon his hands many overworked men besides the Premier. Amongst these is Professor Huxley, who for some time has been in a condition of health that has given some anxiety to his friends, but by the indomitable professor has ) been regarded simply as an obstacle to I work at full pressure. To Huxley, as to Mr Gladstone, Sir Andrew Clark has given the same advice. Rest, absolute rest for at least a year, is his panacea. Professor Huxley has so far conceded the serious character of his illness that he returned to I Italy immediately after his daughter's wed- ding, and has sines decided to winter there. He is now in Florence, and means to stop there at least till the spring carres again. If he will listen to advice, he will stay away throughout the whole of next year. But the passion for work is like the craving for drink, and the professor is very v.uhappy in his enforced idleness. At least, lie calls it idleness, because he does not now work more than six hours a day. Some candid friends of the Government have to-day been assured that the lion in the path of their existence is the Egyptian question. If there had been any remark- able change in the composition of the House of Commons during thepast few months there might be some cause for solicitude, but the House is the same which last year debated the Egyptian policy of the Govern- ment until at length it would have no Jr." of it. Sir Stafford Northcote;g vote of cen- sure was rejected by 49, and that of Si:- Michael Hicks-Beach by. 28, while a third, j standing in the name of Mr Thomas Bruce, was not permitted to be discussed. Granted that the majority of the 13th of May was not such as we have been accustomed to, it must be borne in mind that on that occasion the Opposi- tion and the Parnellites did their worst, and it is scarcely probable that a sufficient con- tingent of Liberals would be found to place the Redistribution scheme in Tory hands, however they might disapprove of the Ministerial policy in Egypt. The police have no more a clue to the authors of the latest dynamite outrage on the Metropolitan Railway than to that at London Bridge in the middle of December. The member of the Court of Common Council, who gave notice of motion to re- scind the resolution offering a reward of 25,000, apparently need not be in much trouble over it, seeing that the resolution is likely to remain a dead letter. If such an enormous sum fails to draw out: accomplices, one hope of getting to the bottom of such conspiracies disappears. The Lord-Mayor gave a decision at the Mansion House to-day, which for a couple of months will spare the city of London from a serious annoyance. A fanatic named Herbert Percy Freund has often been be- fore the presiding magistrate either at the Mansion House or the Guildhall, for preaching upon the steps of the Royal Exchange and thereby collecting a crowd, and also for creating a disturbance in St. Paul's. In Christmas week he was forgiven the first-mentioned offence on his promise not to repeat it, but last night he varied the recreation by loudly declaring during service, in the metropolitan Cathedral, that it was a temple of idols, to the alarm and consterna- tion of those assembled. Warning and caution being alike useless, the Lord-Mayor has now sent him to prison for two months.

LORD BUTE AND THE WY- CLIFFE SOCIETY. His Lordship taken to Task. IIord Bute has caused no little astonishment amongst his co-religionists, the Roman Catholics, by subscribing to the funds of the Wyclitfe Society, the object of which is the publication of Wycliffe'8 writings in English. It is understood that a prominent Catholic is about to address to bis lordship a letter of remonstrance for helping to propagate the doctrines of so determined an opponent of the Roman Catholic Church.

UNFAILING REMEDY FOR HEADACHES "KERNICK'S VEGETABLE PILLS, FOR INDIGESTION -Sold by all Chemists, &c., in 7J.d, 13id, and 2a 9d boxes. t^BEWARE -Of IMITATIONSJ

HARRY SEYMOUR; OR Incidents in the Life of a Cardiff Clerk. CHAPTER 1. 'What Louie Kandeli going to be married! You dc'i'f. say so And who is the very fortunate gentleman ?" I don't know what right you have to speak in such a tone as that," retorted Lizzie Morton Louie Randell will make Harry Seymour a good wife, and in my opinion he is as fortunate as your husband will be, if ever you get one." What do you mean! If ever I get one, indeed ? Let me tell you. Miss Morton, that your precious bear, Charlie Thornton, was refused by me a year ago. There I didn't mean to tell you, but you have provoked me to it." I don't, I won't believe you I'll ask him this evening, and I know very well what his answer will be." You surely wouldn't ask him such a thing But I will though, Blanch? and let me tell you your tell-tale face is enough to convince me that what you have said is untrue." "Ceme, Blanche, don't quarrel with your old friend Lizzie it is very ungenerous of you to say that (;hrL' 'i¡ornton ever asked you to be his *vif? v know he never did," said Nellie Bur- bi .Blanche Aubrey, Lizzie Morton, Nellie Bur- bidge, and Louie Randell had been at school together, and their school-girl friendship had out- lived their residence at the finishing academy of Mrs B. And in oraer that my readers may the better understand the incidents which I am about to relate, it is necessary that some description of the four friends should be given. Louie Randell was the orphan daughter of a deceased Baptist minister, her father having died in her infancy, leaving his little daughter Louisa to the care of an aunt. Her mother having shown symptoms of insanity for many years had become a confirmed monomaniac sifter her last child's birth, and was confined in Bridgend Asylum, where she had been ever since. Louie's aunt was an old maid, with a small competence, and had been a oodfriend to the motherless girl. A good education had enabled Louie to obtain the position of assistant-mistress to an elementary girls school, and at the time öf which we write, she had been intending to ba examined for a Government certificate, had not Harry Seymour won the prize at which he had aimed for a long time. Louie was a good musi- cian, and her aunt's old piano could still yield sweet music under her touch. When Harry Sey- mour had began to broach the subject of mar- riage, Louie thought of her aunt, and how lonely she wauld be. and resolved to leave the decisi 0n with he.. The unselfish old iady had refused to be a bar to the union of two loving hearts, and pooh-poohed the notion of their re- siding: with her. LNo, no, Louie,youngnnrrieclpeoplearehest by themselves; I shall pay a. long visit to my relatives in Somerset, and when I come back shall have got used to your absence." So it was settled that Harry Seymour should have his wish, and they would be married at Christmas. Lizzie Morton was a handsome girl, tho only daughter out of a large family, and had been spoiled in consequence. Her father was a fore- man in a grocer's shop, and could have kept Lizzie at home to assist her mother in household matters, but Lizzie was fond of dress, and on that account preferred to be earning money. So she had procured a situation as assistant at a large draper's shop in St. Mary- street, and whilst there had captivated a lawyer's clerk, whose oGce was nearly opposite tile draper's shop. Charles Thornton was a rather proud young man, of shallow, superficial attainments, I, but withai possessed of a good heart. He loved Lizzie with as much warmth as his somewhat phlegmatic temperament would admit of, but soon phlegmatic temperament would admit of. but soon after t'ne'r engagement gave her to understand tnathedid not much approve of his future wife being a shop-girl. So she had left the emporium of Howell and Co.. and was again at home, though as yet she had not informed her family cf her engagement with Charlie. Blsnàp. Aubrey was a conccited young lady, proud of her personal attractions, which certainly were enough to have enticed the young men of the town, had not the beauty of her countenance not been marred by a disagreeable expression that rose up and shone luridly out of her handsome dirk eyes when any subject displeasing to her was bruited in her hearing. She was nut generally liked by her companions, but her father was a well-to-do pubiican, and as Blanche was his only child, she was supplied with plenty of pocket money. By dmt o £ a skilful use of her abundant 1 pecuniary resources, she was able to keep on good terms with her friends, a new brooch, ribbon, or ear rings serving as a make-peace when she had offended any of them. But'the young men of her acquaintance carefully abstained from betraying the least sign of anything beyond the merest civilities of conventional politeness, for as Harry Seymour had said to Louie, not one of his friends would have Blanche for a wife if she were worth her weight in gold. Whoever marries her will catch a Tartar." She thus became envious aud spiteful, and even malignant the scornful ex- pression was seen more often on her face, and she bade fair to become more remarkable for ugliness of expression than for beauty of feature, Nellie Burbidge was a sweet girl, not remark- ably handsome, but with a countenance betoken- ing a good disposition, a sweet temper, and amiable manners. She was only a dress- maker, assisting a widowed mother at home, maker, assisting a widowed mother at home, and was invariably very plain yet neatly dressed. She was a quiet thoughtful girl, and miirht have had suitors in abundance; but her mother was somewhat of an invalid, and she ,Id not leave her. So she went quietly ou in her useful hie, never once giving a thought to the ibiect which was uppermost in the minds of her companions—a husband and a settlement in life. Having thus lightly sketched the few compan- ions, let us return to two of them. Blanche had scornfully taken her departure, and as Nellie was taking a dress home when she had encountered the others, Louie and Lizzie were left to them- selves. Lizzie- seemed somewhat troubled, and Louie, perceiving this, said, "Surely Lizzie, you are not going to allow that mischief making Blanche to interfere with your good opinions of Charlie. I am sure it is not true." I don't know what to think, Louie, dear. I have before heard something of the sort; but I will tax him with it this evening, and whatever may be his faults Charlie will tell me the truth The two friends then parted, Lizzie to go home with a mind perturbed and ill at ease, counting the minutes that would intervene until she should see Charlie and satisfy herself whether he had indeed been rejected by Blanche Aubrey or not. But her noisy brothers coming home from school and work, soon gave her other duties to perform, which effectually banished her gloomy thoughts. Louie Randell went home, and -at down to her old piano. I wonder whether Harry is as fond of music as I am; let me see. I have heard him sing, but although we have been to the theatre, and other places of amuse- ment, he has never asked me to go to a concert. I must ask him; I could not live without a piano. It is so easy to procure one now-a-days that he will not refuse me one, I think. With an income of E150 a year, we can surely afford to pay for a piano, now they can be obtained on the easy mode of payment. "What is my dear niece talking so much about T said Aunt Ann, who had come in unper- ceived. H I was wondering whether Harry is musical, for, unless he buys me a piano, I shall never be happy." "Nonsense, my dear, you must subordinate your likings and inclinations to those of your hus- band. But most men are fond of music, and when he hears you play, he will find you a piano, I have no doubt." That evening witnessed the interrogation of Harry Seymour and Charlie Thornton by their fair inamorati. When Lizzie Morton asked Charlie if it was true that he had offered mar- riage to Blanche Aubrey, and had been refused, he indignantly denied it. 4 The boot was on tha other leg, Lizzie, for last year, which you know was leap year, she as good as asked me to have her. But I know better, although her father is reputed to be rich. Her prospective fortune is totally insufficient, in my estimation, to make up for her disagreeable, ill-tempered disposion. Now, Lizzie dear, Blanche has not only told you a deliberate untruth, but seeing that it was done to, if possible, separate us, I shall be very glad to learn that you have dropped her acquaintance. She is totally devoid of principle." Lizzie promised to cut her friend" Blanche,and had barely made the promise when they met that young lady coming out of her father's "pub. Not that she lived there, for Mr Aubrey was one of those who could afford to keep a private house in Roath, but Blanche's handsome face was a great attraction to the would-be fashionable young men, who frequented her father's bar, and her inordinate vanity induced her, rather oftener than her father wished, to serve behind the bar in the evening. She looked confused on meeting Charlie and Lizzie, but the expression of her countenance changed to one of fierce hatred when they passed without noticing her in anyway. So Lizzie has asked him, and of course faehas denied it. Well, if she believes him now, the suspicion will always be there. He could not surely have told her of my asking him No Charlie Thornton would not be so ungenerous as that!" Ah Blanche, you forget how much more un- generous was your aunt to Lizzie. "Well," pursued Blanche reflectingly, "Lizzie perhaps thinks I can't get a husband. Let me -ee, there's Tom Graham, Will Aylwin, and that widower, Mr Stephens-he's well off, but he's too old. Will Aylwin is too religious, but he'd make a good husband. Tom Graham wants me for my money, for he's poor-only a clerk with 20s a week. Yes, Will Aylwin must be the one. Let me see, it's church might at St John's,llie s sure to be there—I'll go." And so the handsome, gaudily-attired spider went to church, certain that the fly would be there. She was right. Will Aylwin had long been enchanted by Blanche's beauty, but had striven hard against the infatuation, believ- ing Blanche to be thoughtless, worldly, and vain, destitute of true religion, if not of good principles. Hence her appearance at the week-evening service caused him some amount of surprise. He wondered if she was becoming more thoughtful in religious matters, and began to think how happy he mht be with Blanche, if only she were converted. He could see her all the service time, and watched her narrowly. When it was over he found that it was raining heavily, and neither he nor Blanche had any umbrella. He met her in the porch, and at her request called a cab. He also resided in Roath, and gladly accepted a seat in the cab. Blanche was elated at her prospectg of success. What a beautiful sermon Mr Howell preached this evening," she remarked, as they rolled away towards Roath. Yes. I am sorry he's going away," answered Mr Aylwin. "So am I; I have only lately begun to care for such things, and as it was Mr Howell who first put such thoughts within me, I shall be very sorry when he leaves us." "Yon do not attend to business now, then, Miss Aubrey ?" "No, I have given up going to 'the hotel,' I cannot reconcile it with my duty now. I wish father would give it up, but although he owns to having made a. competence, I fear ho will not give it up. He says he wishes to make enough to render rac well off, but I don't look upon our business now as being a right and proper one* And, worse than all, ho wants me to marry Mr Palmer, who keeps the Clarence.' Not :ong ago I could look upon such a union with in- difference, were there any attachment in the case, but now I think differently. You will, I fear, think me indiscreet in talking thus to you, but I sadly need a friend just now to keep me in the right pat." "Then take me for such a friend, dear Miss Aubrey. With you for a life companion, I should be the happiest man alive. You don't answer me, Miss Aubrey—Blanche have I been top pre- sumptuous ?" "No, it is not that but it is so sudden." Then think of it, dear Blanche, and let me have your decision to-morrow evening. I will come to meet you up the Newport-road." They had now reached Blanche'.? house, and parted very cordially. Ah liss Lizzie Morton, I shall forestall you now. No one can say but Mr Aylwin is as good o match as Charlie Thornton, I wonder when they are to be married. I should like to be before them." Louie RandeII had also put a question to Harry Seymour when they met that evening, and had re- ceived a very satisfactory answer. "A piano, Louie, yes, dear, of course we will have one. We can get one at Thompson and Shackell's for three or four shillings a week, paid w, once a quarter for three years. It is a good way of obtaining a piano or a harmonium, and has led to many a working man spending his evenings at home instead of at the public-house." But is there not trouble connected with the purchase? Will yon not have to find '.uretio?—a thing my father ha-s always bade me specially avoid ?" "No, Louie; I am known in the town, and that is sufficient. Many a man spends weekly more in beer and tobacco than would suffice to buy in this estimable way one of the best pianos in Thompson and Shackell's establishment." But do you like music, Tfarry ?:' "Not much people always told me I have liD ear for it, and sc I never learnt to sing or play any instrument. But I should love to listen to you, Louie, for your aunt tells me you can play very well." Just then they met Nellie Burbidge, and asked her to join them in a walk to the Sophia Gardens. t Before they had proceeded far, however, it began to rain, and so the evening was spent at Louie's in Green-street, and Harry was charmed to hear her play on her aunt's old piano. It is sadly out of tune, Mr Seymour," said tho old lady, but Louie can still play very well on it." I Ah But you see I have promised her to purchase her a new one. We can have it in a way by which we shall not feel the expenses. We can procure one at Thompson and Shackell's by paying from two guineas per quarter upwards according to price." I had made up my mind to give Louie this one," ssid the old lady, thinking it would be too much of a strain upon your resources to pur- chase one just when commencing housekeeping. But the plan you propose is indeed a capital one." Just then a knock came to the door, and Ann announced that Harry was wanted. It proved to be a friend of his, who was the book-keeper at the same firm where Harry was cashier. He wanted to instruct Harry about some necessary office duties, as he was to be absent the following day. He was introduced to Nellie, having known Louie some time, and a very pleasant evening was sp°,nt. When half-past nine arrived, the visitors too their departure, and as Harry lived at Cathays, whilst Nellie and Mr Ellis, the book- keeper, lived somewhat near each other in Roath, he offered to see Nellie safely home, which offer was accepted. i should like to see Ellis and Nellie engaged," soliloquised Harry, after ho had left them. She will make somebody a good wife." He had turned up North Road, on his way to- wards Cathays, when he was accosted by two rough looking men, who demanded money. Harry said he had none, and the next moment he was struck a tremendous blow under the ear, which laid him prostrate. I ( To he continued.)

SUICIDE IN A TEMPERANCE HOTEL. A foreigner, whose name is unknown, was dis- covered dead in a Liverpool Temperance Hotel on Monday. He went to bed apparently all right on Sunday evening, and was on Monday found on the room floor dead with a revolver grasped in his right hand, and a bullet wound in the head. One chamber of the revolver was discharged. No noise was heard in his room during the night.

I YANKEE YARNS. It seems that the fame of Alphonso's linguistic acquirements have come to officer Conlon's ears. That eminent guardian of the law meeting two other members of ths force one day said to them: Do yez know, my bys, that haythin Alphonso spakes Dutch?" "Divil a bit. Begorra X don t belave a word of it," replied the men of Erin. "But he does now, and I'll prove it tayez. Alphonso was at this moment coming up the the street. Alphonso, come here, my boy." And then turning to his palls i See here you, I'll bet ye a dollar that he can shpakc Dutch." The money was put up. Conlon's dollar being matched by two halves. Alphonso, my boy, shpake a little Dutch, for us," said officer Conlon, with an en- couraging smile. But Alphonso was coy. Come, come, my boy, be obleegmg." Alphonso eyed his tormentors for a moment, and then, with the ut- most simplicity said a few words in Chinese. Didn't I tell ye.L ?" exclaimed officer Conlon, triumphantly. The two policeman acknowledged the com, and paid the bet without a murmur. This is an incorrigible skeptic who asserts that a woman is at the bottom of everything. Of course the idea is absurd, but then the old fool will make me uncomfortable by bringing up all sorts of co- incidences and analogies to support his thesis. The other day I thought I had him. A man in the country fell down in a well. There I cried triumphantly; "what do you say to that?" Humph! jaaid my tormentor: "we'll soon invest- tigate that." The man was fished out and cross- examined. It transpired that he was standing up over the well, entangling the rope from the bucket. Yes, yes," interrupted the woman-hater im- patiently, "but how were you so careless? Why did you falFinto the well ?" The country bump- kin gave a broad grin: Couldna help, it, sir." You could not help it! Tut, tut, sir, don't at- temp to deceive me. There was a- woman in the case. Well, sir, I will say," admits the rustic, painfully, as there was Mary jAnn up there a- cleaning the windows, and as I did kind of look at Mary Ann and—and—" And fell into the well of course: I knew it," said the cynic im- placably.—Albert <S'avaras, is the Ingleside. Mr Archibald Forbes, who is now making a lecture tour in America, tells an amusing story, rather at his own expense, of his gratification at the apparent desire of the "man and brother for higher intellectual culture. On arriving at the station at West Chester, Pennsylvania, where he was to lecture, a darky cabman offered his ser- vices to convey him to the hotel. On arrival, Mr. Forbes asked the extent of pecuniary remunera- tion expected for the assistance. The darky re- plied, Well sah, if you'd jes' gib me a ticket to de Isctur', sah, I should be right glad." This un- usual request from a cabman struck him not only as singular and laudable, but as quite complimen- tary to himself so bo said, Certainly. And haven't you a missis?" "Oh, yes, sab; I's got a misss Well, you shall have one for her ;"and Mr Forbes requested his agent to hand to the w, knowledge-seeker the requisite cards. On reach- inp' the lecture-room, !:e ease a glance over the audience to discover his coloured friend, but ho ) had not arrived—nor did hfj put in an appearance. The next morning, on getting into the same cab to go to the station, Mr Forbes said, I didn't see you at the lecture last night." No, sah, I were not dar.' '"But I gave you tickets for yourself and wife?" "Yes, sah, I know dat, sah: but you see, sah, I jes' sold deni tickets for a dollar, sah, 'cause I don't know much 'bout lecturs, and tought I'd rader hab de cash, sah." TAXIDERMISTS' TRICKS?. ) Taxidermists have more fun in this world than some people seem to think. One of them told a New York reporter how he once executed an order for a sea-serpent one hundred feet long, four feet thick, and with an authentic history." The tax- idermist, whose name was Roome, sent to a big fliark "fi shery and offered a C81it for every square foot of shark skin he could get. As the skins would otherwise have been thrown away, he got all he wanted. He then built a wooden frame for the skeleton, covered it with canvas, softened the squares of shark skin, and stuck them on, laping them over each other like scales he made the jaws like those of alligators, but much larger, and put in whales teeth, lining the month with fish- skin painted red. The showman made a good deal of money with the serpent," as the jaws could be opened and shut, and he used to hire a girl to stand in the mouth. Among Roome's other exploits was the manufacture of a gorilla 15 feet high out of six black bears' skins He had a sign out reading Mermaids made and repaired." Thw work had to be done very carefully to escape detection. He would kill and stuff the upper half of a female monkey, then take the lower half of a fih called grouper, skin it, join them together- and put on the scales one by one, and then treat the whole with acids to make it look old and natural. Then he had to arrange the pedigree. He gave the thing to a friend, master of a vessel going to China. At Yokohama the crew were I made drunk, the alleged mermaid was thrown overboard on the sly, and then fished out with a great hurrry by the deluded crew, every one of whom signed a paper saying that they saw it swimming around the boat, and witnessed the mate kill it and haul it aboard. A SPARK TUT OUT. I When P. T. Barnum v. ynimg man, he paid impetuous attentions to :1; lady living in I Newtown. Being a son o: ut honest parents, he was obliged to walk ovt-r to the village which contained his adored on the Sunday nights that he visted her. When there, he laboured under another awkward disadvantage. The young lady's father conceived a singular and most vio- lent dislike to the amiable embryotic showman. This necessitated extreme caution on the part of the lover—and he was equal to the emergency as a matter of course His ingress to the house was by a window on the second floor, which he reached by springing from the cover of a cistern curb, and catching hold of the window ledge. His egress was effected by hanging full length from the ledge, and then dropping to the cistern cover, a fall of about six inches. One Sunday he took with him on tho visit a young man who now carries his silvered haw behind a Daubury grocery counter. They reached the place, the young lady saw the signal, opened the window, and^tba famous Bar- num sprang up into bliss. The young man was to amuse himseli about the village until the hour of departure. He amused himself. It doesn't seem possible that anybody could be so brutal, but that young man actually removed the cover to the cis- tern. Then he sat down by the fence and ate currants and calmly waited for the result. P. T. finished his sparking, and backed out of the win- dow the full length his hands would permit. Good-bye he gasped in a whisper, as he pre- pared to drop. Good bye, Phinny she whispered back. Then he let go, and instantly shot from sight into a yawning abyss of darkness and rainwater and, if he had been of solid iron heated to a white glow, he could not have created more of a commotion in striking the water, It is not necessary to repeat what Mr Barnum said, both when crawling out of the cistern and during he eight miles' walk liome.-Danbury Paper. "THAT HEATHEN CHINKE." I Among the passengers who boarhed the western- bound train the other evening, says an Erie paper, was Quang Long, Esq., the washerman of Seventh Street. Seeing the reporter, he became clamorous for a personal which he wanted in- serted in an early number of the journal. "Going far, Quang 2" asked the reporter. U Going home?" was the sententious reply. "Not to China?" Yes." The reporter looked at Quang's ticket and saw it was good for San Francisco and on to the port of Shanghai, in the Celestial empire. The pagan and reporter sat down to exchange farewells. In their conversation Quang stated that he had made enough money in Erie to support him and his family in affluence the remainder of his life. Sewn up in the lining oi his pants he had bills for a large amount, which he was going to pay into the Chinese bank in San Francisco, in which he had already quite a respectable sum deposi- ted, and would get a draft for the whole on a Chinese money-house," as he termed it. In a little pocket near the concealed bills he had a sharp-pointed dagger, and behind him he carried an arsenal of assorted fire-arms that not only im- peded his locomotion, but made it risky for those who shared the same car with him. He said the fortune he had made in washing shirts would be as good as millions, and henceforth he would be a. big man, a boss" among his fellows. In his satchel he had quite a collection of spurious nickel, bronze, and silver coins which had been shoved on to him by unprincipled patrons before he became civilizedl to the extent of know- ing good from bad money. "Geing to give these to your children when you have them, I suppose ?" remarked the reporter. Quang shook his head and looked knowing, "Me going to pass 'em on Chineeman in San Fangsisco just come over," said he. And then the reporter apologised for calling Quang Lone a paean.

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I FACTS AND FANCIES. A wife's vocation—industry. A dead-set"—Artificial teeth. A mob cap "—The cap of liberty. Quick at figures-The dancing master. A poetical licence is often a lie without sense. The: latest is an electric girl-she shocks every- body. The boy who stole six pancakes got a sick spank ache. One of the things that 'can'tba're-vealed-A calf's bones. A hitch in the proceedings—Stopping to tie ypur horse. A forthcoming event-Onathatsucceeds three others. A safe remark-" A little moreof the dressing, please. I declare you beat me," excla-imecfthe drum to the stick. The most acceptable present for timid -men- Presence of mind. A post of danger—That of crossing-sweeping on a level crossing. When a man falls down his temper generally gets up before he does. Jumping at a conclusion-The leap, year pro- I posal of a. merry maiden. It is the man in the mud who sees something in the rain to add mire. <> A popular writer laments the fact that poets are declining. It is different with the poets them- selves. They lament the fact that the editors of magazines and newspapers are declining. Whatever may be said of the average English- man,he always gives you credit for the possession of intelligence; for, when telling you anything he invariably winds up with "you know." You're guided too much by others' opinions," said she to her lord for my part I believe in I having a little mind of my own." And you have it," was the brutal remark of her lord, as he put on his hat. An Irish servant, observing her mistress feeding a pet female canary asked how long it took them craters to hatch ?"_ Three weeks," was the reply. Ocb, sure, that is the same as any other jfowl except a pig." It is strange how sensitive some people are'con- cerning the size of their feet. We understand that there is a duel now pending between two Arkanas editors simply because one of them alluded to the other as a big-soled man." "I would rather vote for a Iorg-cared donkey than for you," said an independent voter to a, candidate on election day. Oh, come now, you ought not to allow yourself to be influenced by family ties," responded the candidate. Alas 1" E:1id a moralising bachelor, within ear- shot of a witty young lady of the company, this world is at best but a gloomy prison "Yes," sighed the merciless minx, especially to poor creatures doomed to solitary confinement." A poet says-" Ob, summer land. Oh, sunny south. I turn to thee. I ope my mouth and drink thy fragrance once again." "Fragrance," in the sunny south, costs about 10 cents a drink, and its other name is Old Rye. The poet must have sold a poem. Sonny, is your mother at home ?" asked the I minister, addressing the little boy who was standing at the door. Yes, she is at home," was the reply but I guess she doesn't want to I see you. I heard her just tell pa that she hated fools, and that she never saw a man yet who wasn't a fool." I Two gentlemen are discussing a third, while the coach jolts painfully over the uneven surface of the street. "Ho's a sad scoundrel, I fear," of the street. "Ho's a, sad scoundrel, I fear," says one. Not such a sad scoundrel," replied the other, as the vehicle plunged iuco a hois in the pavement, "as you-" "Wh—what?" As you think," says the other, triumphantly, I recovering his breath. The sight of a man wheeling a baby cairiage in the street is a sign, not that the child is weak, but that the man's wife is strong. ADd yet if we were to judge from the amiable grin with which the fond father, under these circumstances, salutes every passing acquaintance, we might erroneously suppose he was really doing it just for the fun of the thing. A Yorkshire trainer revealed his method of meeting a conjugal storm. His plan, he said, was to keep silence and nod his acquiescence to every- thing, no matter what was said by his spouse. Yes," replied one oL his friends, but then she has it all her own way." Just so," replied the Tyke, with satisfaction, and nothing annoys her so much. There is nothing women hate like a walk over." A sharp student was called up by the worthy professor of a celebrated college, and af-krd ths: question, Can a man ssa without eyes?" "Yes, sir," was the prompt reply. "How, sir," cried the astonished professor, "can a man see without eyes? Pray, sir, how do you make that out?' He can see with one, sir, replied the ready- witted youth. And the whole class shouted with delight at the triumph over metaphysics. The box-keepers at the Olympic Theatre were at one time dressed in handsome liveries. A nervous old gentleman,who went to see "Ariadne" one evening, was greatly alarmed at their ap- pearance and when the box-keeper askad him-for his ticket, he drew him aside, and said, after great hesitation—" My name is Brown, but I must beg you will not announce it." He was evidently labouring under the fear that the moment the door of the dress-circle was opened, the servant would bawl out, Mr and Mrs Brown," in the same way that the guests are announced at an evening party. In a small village on the Firth of Forth lived an old farmer, who was called Park Jock, of whom the following anecdote is told. One day while working in the farmyard he had the mis- fortune to get his leg broken. The doctor who set the limb told him that he was on no account to drink whisky, as it would run into the sore, Now the love of a dram was Jock's weakness, and to aggravate the case the accident happened at New Year's time. Jock, however, was deter- mined to get his dram. Having got a rope and made a noose on it, he flung it over the rafter, put his foot in the noose, and drew his leg to- wards the roof. The doctor, when he saw the position of the limb, and also that Jock was dead drunk, asked him what in all the earth he was doing. To which Jock replied, Ye see, sir, ye telt me the whusky wid gang to the sair, so I just strung ma leg up like this to prevent it." A portion of the boiler had slightly bulged out. The engineer gave his reasons for it, but old Tuffun, the owner, was not satisfied. He held another theory. To fettle the matter it was requi- site to go into the boiler, and old Tuffun resolved to go in himself. But here was a difficulty. Tuffun was stout and the manhole was small. Nothing daunted, however, Tuffun the next day took very little breakfast and no dinner. He then by dint of much struggling and squeezing got inside the boiler, and found his theory correct. But when he came to get out again he discovered, after many attempts, he could not Either through his exertions in getting in, or from finding that he was right and the engineer wrong, he had wisibly swelled" since getting in, and was altogether too big to get out. Here was a pretty to-do Must some of the plating be taken off to get him out or what ? Happy thought He would pull some of his clothes off and try. He did, and failed. More off. Another try. Failure Again and again. At last with every stitch off he tried, and—failed Here," be howled to the outside ginning men, bust the blooming thing and let me out No," said the engineer, you might get out, sir, if we filed round the manhole a little." So they filed, and Tuffun waited, practically illustrat- ing his name. At last he got out as naked as Adam, as bruised as mashed, corn, and, as savage i as a bear with a sore head. Tuffun has never been in,a boilet,eince» and ..he does .not intend,to ^either.; '1

I NEW CHURCH FOR CANTON. The new church dedicated to St. Catherine's in a new and populous district of the parish of Canton, and the foundation stone of which was laid by Mrs Vaughan, of the Deanery, Llandaff, on the 14th November, 1883, will be opened for divine worship on Wednesday next the 7th inst. Morning service will be at 11.30, when the Very i Rev. the Dean of Llandaff will preach the sermon. Evening service at 7.30; preacher, the Very Rev. the Archdeacon of Llandaff, Also on the following Thursday and Friday there wiil be evening services at 7.30, the preachers at which will be-on Thursday, the Rev. C. J. Thompson vicar of St. John's, Cardiff and on Friday, the Rev. J. R. Buckley, vicar of Llandaff. The church has been built according to designs pre- pared by Mr John Prichard, the architect for the work and diocesan architect, the builder being Mr Shepton, of Cardiff. At present, to meet the wants of the district, a por- tion only of the intended edifice has been built, consisting of three bays of the nave and aisles, 44 feet in length, affording accomodation for 422 adults. When completed, the church will be of very large dimensions, affording accomoda- tion for a mixed congregation of 836, without the aid of galleries. The nave will be 74 feet long by 26 feet wide north and south aisles, each 71 feet by 18 feet; a chancel, 33 feet by 23 feet, with short chancel aisles, each 16 feet by 19 feet, and t will have north and south porches. The style of its architecture is Early Decorated. The walls are substantially built in courses of Pennant stone, but with a view to economy, and to promote the facility of hearing and seeing, the arcades are of ornamental timber, poised on slender moulded shafts of stone, importing an airy expression to the interior, and more the character of an auditorium than isgenerally met with. The roofs are not only boarded at the back of the rafters, but have boarded ceilings, which it is hoped will promote the accoustic pro- perties of the building, and tend to guard it against the extremes of temperature. With the same object the roofs are covered with Broseleg tiles. The walls internally are lined with pale buff bricks, and the alleys are paved with encaustic tiles. The windows are glazed with effective ornamental quarry glazing. The church is well warmed by Gi'obs', of Liverpool, hot-water system. The eastern part of the building was selected in preference to the western to facilitate its junction with the chancel (which is the portion which will probably next be undertaken), and so making a complete church, though shorn oi its future western extension. When the church is completed, a hand stone I stone pulpit in masonry of the late Bishop 01- livant will be presented by an anonymous donor, and a carved oak lectern by Mr Clarke, the carver. A handsome altar has also been presen- ted. The estimated cost of the whole church is £ 6,550. The portion at present built has cost in round numbers £ 3,100, towards which the com- mittee have L2,940, 3110wing a deficit of L160. The collections after each of the services will be for the building fund, and it is to be hoped that they will enable the church to be opened free of debt. The committee also desire to make an earnest appeal to the inhabitants and owners of property in Cardiff and Llandaff for help to enable them to put forward some additional por- tion, at least, of the entire church.

THE PARLIAMENTARY FRANCHISE. í The Liberal Central Association has issued a useful abstract to the several parliamentary fran- chises as they stand under the new law. COUNTIES.-Ill the counties freeholders, copy- holders, and leaseholders are entitled to vote, the qualifications being as follows :— i'reehold of inheritance or by purchase of the clear annual value of 40s or upwards. Freehold for life must be of the clear annual value of J35, unless the same comes by descent, marriage, devise, or promotion- to any benefice or office, in all which cases 40s clear annual value is sufficient. Freeholders by purchase are required to be six mcnths in possession previous to July 31st by descent, &c., no length of possession is necessary. Copyhold of the clear annual value of J35 or upwards. Copyholders are subject to the same terms of possession as freeholders. Leasehold, if created originally for a term of not less than 60 years, of the clear annual vaine of £ 5 or upwards if for a, term of more than 20, but less than 60 years, the clear annual value must b3 J350. Leaseholders by purchase are re- quired to be 12 months in possession to July 31st; I by descent, &c., nc length of possession is I necessary. Persons qualified must send in their claims to the overseers on or before the 20th of July. No nerson can claim in respect of a rent charge I other than the owner of th" whole of the t:the rent charge of a rectory, vicarage, cbapelry, or benefice, to which an apportionment of the ¡ tithe rent charge shall have been made in respect of any portion of tithes. No more than one person can claim in respect of any estate in land or tenement, unless the same shall be derived by descent, succession, marriage, marriage settle- ment or will, nor unless the owners occupy the I land or tenement, and are tm\, fido engaged as partners carrying on trade or business thereon. COUNTIES AND BOROUGHS.— The occupation franchise (of three classes) and the lodger fran- chise are common to counties and boroughs, as foiiows IT.. Occupation owncc or tenant of any land <»i tenement of a clear yearly value of not less than £ 1G- n- Occupation as owner or tenant of any dwe.hng- bouse. Occupation by virtue of any office, service, or employment of anv dwelling-hou?e which is not inhabited by a person under whom such office, t service, or employment is held. In the aoove t three classes of occupiers, the occupation need not be of the same premises, but may be of different premises, occupied in immediate and unbroken succession in the same constituency. Occupation as lodger of anv lodgings of a cieor yeaciv valu.3, if let unfurnished, ni .310. Succes- sive occupation is also allowed in the case of Io<Jg- iÚg-H, but it must be from one part to another of the same house. In a.d cases of occupation, whather as owner or tenant, servant or lodger, twelve months' occupa- I tion is required up to the 15th day of July in any year. Occupiers need not send in claims unless they find that their names are omitted from the list published by the overseers on the 1st of August, or that in the entry on such list there be a misconception of some essential particular or particulars, and in case of such omission or misconception they must send in their claims to the overseers on or before the 25th of ^August. Lodgers must claim every year, and when claiming for the first time, must send in their claims to t he overseers on or before the 25tb August. After the first year, lodgers continuing in the same lodgings and desiring to continue on the register, may send in their claims to the overseers from the 16th to 25th July in- ¡ clusive, and their names will then appear on the list published by the overseers on the 1st of August. The declaration annexed to the claim of a lodgsr is held to be prima facie evidence of his qualification.

I THE MURDER OF A SWEET- I HEART. Resumption of the Inquest. I The inquest on the body of Laura Wilson, who was stabbed at Woolwich on December 22nd, was resumed on Mono ay afternoon. Mr Geoghegan attended on behalf of Frederick Marshall, who is accused of the murder. Mrs Hewitt, mistress of the deceased (recalled), said Marshall called every day at her shop for to- bacco, but of late he had been forbidden the, house. After this( be climbed in the gaidenst several times, and' looked through tne window She therefore informed the police, who cautioned the accused not to repeat his conduct. In cross- examination, Mrs Hewitt said deceased and accused were very fond of each other. She never heard him threaten Laura. Witness desired to contradict a report that her house was one of bad repute. William Wilson, father of the deceased girl, who was greatly agitated, was examined at some length, and a number of letters were read by Inspector Dewling. No fresh witnesses were called, and the enquiry was further adjourned.

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THE INDISPOSITION OF MR GLADSTONE. How the Premier Spent Yesterdaj, Our Hawarden correspondent telegraphs ct. Monday evening —Mr Gladstone,since his return home, seems to -have improved in health cor- siderably, a circumstance which is probably dua chiefly to the fact that he has been able, to sleep more comfortably at nig"t. The slight attack of lumb'igo causes him lit:: inconvenience, and has certainly not impaired .v:, general health and spirits. This morning ?»■ r Gladstone breakfasted in bed, and remained m his bedroom until somewhat late, a drizzling ru" offering no inducement to out-dour exerc In the afternoon, however, however, the we cleared up, and the right hon. gentlemen in company with Mrs Gladstone, took an enj able drive. On their return to Hawarden vill;rf.- Mr Gladstone dismissed the carriage and -al-I through the park to the castle, a distance abcut half a mile. Owing to the lumbago, -C Gladstone was obliged to lean upon a stick and incline bis body slightly to the right, and this gave an appearance of feebleness altogether -i :> ceptivc. The Fress Association special representative at Hawarden says :—It is expected that Sir Andrew Clark will visit the towards the end of the present week. Sir A-adrew is in a. positior t. leave London at any moment should his ik- vices be required, but the improvement noticeable in Mr Gladstone's condi!. on Monday morning continued throughout tha day, and in the afternoon it was evident that had considerably gained ground. The right bou, gentleman did not attend early morning service as usual, nor will he do so until the luml which at present occasions him bomb pain, disap- pears, as particular instructions have been gi that quietude it, aecesHary for the return oi hi", ordinary health. Mr Gladstone has decided not to attend the rent audit dinner at Hawarde;j on Wednesday next. Many of the tenants pa ving rent to the agents at the Glynne Anns expi s.d disappointment at this decision and enquired most kindly after their landlord's h t. two of the tenants also making persona! enq"s at the Castle. The weather on Monday mcruing being damp, Mr Gladstone did not take hi-, cus- tomary walk in the grounds before lane.ton. He rose at 10.30, after having passed a rest- less night, and remained with Mrs Gladstone and the guests assembled at the Castle for the even- jug's concer" At 3.30, the rain having c':1,o:,ed, the Premipr and Mrs Gladstone went out for a drive in the grounds. They both alighted oppo- site the Glynne Arms, where a number of people had collected for the pur J?O«G of paying their rents. Many of these alked forward to meet Mr Gladstone, and made inquiries »3 to his health. They all noticed the Premier was looking very pale, and that ho walked with a, perceptible stoop, the effect of the attack of lumbago. Entering the park gatee,, Mr and Mrs Gladstone took a quiet stroll along tha private paths leading to the waterfall. Afrer a rest in the neighbourhood of the waterfall they continued their walk on to the Castle. At sever, o'clock in the evening the Press Association repre sentative was informed that Mr Gladstone -v is making satisfactory progress, that he had murh improved throughout the day, :nd tnat with care auJ continued rest it was expected he will have regained his usual health in the course of the week or two. The Premier dined with tbe family party.

OUR MINERS AND THEIR ORPHANS. In a tetter to the Times Mr C. B. Vincent, o? the Miners' Ophanagr, Rotherham, states Towards meeting a great want in connection with this peculiar oiass of British workmen a movement has been set on foot, tae design being Lo establish a. oaAional hems into wfnch dagaUU oxphans of colliers, and others of like employment may be received and clothed and properly cared for, and so trained as to fit them to become good and industrious members of society/' On the same subject Lord Shaftesbury has addressed the following letter to Mr Vine-r "Bir,-Your proposed institution, if succ> fuL will be one of the wisest and best ever know "7 success, I mean ample support at the outset feel assured that when once begun an asso< > so remedial and so adapted to the peculiar < and suffering that beset the miners calling Lt. fail to prosper. I knew a srood deal or their underground life when I was carrying a biU hr the rmnovillof women and children from the mines and collieries, and* after a descent into a p aod a survey—I may almost say taste—of what I saw and heard there, I came to the conclusion that un department of industry was more entitled than that of the subterranean workers to the sympathy and assistance of the country at larsre. I shaJi 02 happy to contribute £ 5. 1 heartily wish I no-aid give more. £ 500 would not be misplaced.-Ynur obedient servant, SHAFTESBURY."

HEAVY FAILURES IN LONDOM, Liabilities, £ 400,000. j The suspension was announced on INT of Messrs F. and J. Badart Freres, 0: Lower Ordnance Mills, liotherhithe, seed crusher an-1 merchants. The firm was established m and has latterly carried an extensive in the import of seed, n addition to crusliint; and the oil sake bn&icoss. The liabilities are estimated between :£300,000 and £ 400,000, the greater part ot woico are colored ov i-- act;. or otherwise secured. The books are in the hands of Cooper Brothers and Co., of Geo.ge-street, Mansion House, and Messrs Stibbard, Gibson, and Co., the solicitora.

THE SCOTCH CROFTERS' REVOLT. Enthusiastic Reception of ths j Gienelale Martyr. John MacPherson, the Glendale Martyr," returned to Portree, on Monday, from the rtouth, and was received by a great crowd wj;" b-.wi«g of horns and cheering, He afterwards ado re ?5d a meeting in the open air, where unaii resolutions were adopted.

ILLNESS OF EA-RL CA-1 Eaii Cairns has been confined to hi: at Bournemouth since Christmas with a. ss He has been under the care of a locat aonfeo- pathic physician, but his ihiicss 1S °y D" of an alarming character. The recen weather, and the dampness consequent thaw which set in on Sunday, have pre ro-,ited > » leaving tho house, but his lordship has not- reported, been obliged to keep his room, ant. is fully expected that he will be in ni*> U- health in a day or two.

DEATH OF THE RECORDt* PLYMOUTH. Mr Henry Thomas Cole, Q.C., d1 morning, at his residence, 4, C South Kensington, aged 68 yea' was seized with a fit when at i" day, and remained unconsc; morning, and his death ensr Cole, who was a barrister o was a ,recorder for Ply and was formerly M.P F mouth.

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