South Wales Echo

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A SO L D I ER'S BETROTHAL. I It was young Linden's twenty-first birthday, and a grand fancy ball was being given in his honour at bis father's country house in Schloss Marburg, in Westphalia. The fine old mansion was a blaze of light the scent of flowers hung heavy in the air, though it was mid-winter; the music would have inspired a hermit to dance, and the portraits of dead and gone Lindens looked down from their frames upon as motley a throng of fairies, demons, knights, and ladies as had ever assembled in the rooms. Among the cavaliers every one n- v -.1 Conrad von Rosenhain, a handsome yov jg fellow of two-and-twenty, straight and Jithe, who, in his costume, borrowed from the Court of Louis XV., attracted the brightest eyes in the room. He wore a doublet of purple velvet, lilac silk stockings, shoes of white kid, a velvet cloak lined with white satin, a plumed hat, and a jewelled sword and, though he seemed un- conscious enough, the vain young fellow was enjoying immensely the sensation he made. The fourth quadrille was under way, and Conrad, with a pretty little Alsatian peasant as a partner, was trying his wit against hers, to the amusement of all who overheard. But to this young knight's flow of repartee there came pre- sently a sudden chilling shock midway in the dance some one tapped him on the shoulder and said, in a. sepulchral whisper— Make yourself scarce as soon as possible you have a long rip in the back of your stocking!" The horror of that moment was overwhelming for Conrad von Rosenhain-he, the hero of the ball, changed to an object of ridicule, if any one were rude enough to laugh If he had only an overcoat or shawl to hide himself under-any- thing rather than that foolish little cloak hanging to one shoulder and the slashed unmentionables stopping far above his knees. His mirth vanished, and the little Alsatian girl looked piqued, and shrugged her pretty shoulders because her last sally of wit fell upon unheeding ears. Her cavalier sneaked through the remainder of the quadrille more like a whipped hound being put through a trick than a gay courtier, and at its conclusion he vanished with the briefest apology possible. Raging at the flimsy products of all modern looms, Von Rosenhain dashed through the heavy silk portieres in search of some one to restore order to his toilet. It was a big rent, and he wondered that the people in the ballroom re- strained their merriment as well as they did. They were probably laughing at him now, con- found them A man in livery told him that by going to the end of the corridor and pushing open a certain door he would find one of the lady's maids, who would take the necessary stitches in the unlucky stocking. Following the man's directions, Von Rosenhain found himself at length in a large dimly-lighted apartment, hung at one end with half-drawn curtains, through which a light gleamed. He advanced quietly, and was about to speak, when surprise at the tableau before him silenced him. The lovely girl sitting with the light glinting in her fair hair was no lady's maid in her light blue velvet dress, with soft old lace about the neck and sleeves, she seemed more like a young princess. Nor were her surroundings out of keeping with her appearance. The walls of the little boudoir wer« hung with pinkish-Jowered silk, rare Turkish mats covered the polished floor, there were luxuriously cushioned divans, and the low chair in which the girl sat was a quaint fancy in leopard skin; with silver claws for feet. She looked not more than 16, or perhaps younger, and the face, bending over a mass of embroidery silks on the table at her side, was the loveliest Conrad had ever seen. I have mistaken the room," he said to him- self, and had better take myself off as quietly as possible." But as he turned he slipped and nearly fell, and the girl started, looking up frightened. Pray do not be alarmed," said Conrad, ad- vancing. I was sent in search of a maid who would mend a rent in my dress, but I must have mistaken the man's directions." No, there is no mistake. I sent my maid to bed half an hour ago, as she had a bad headache. Perhaps I could remedy the defect in your dress,' the girl returned, with a charming smile. Oh, no not for worlds would I trouble you I will go m search of some one else," said Conrad, with something like a blush. But the pretty little fairy would not hear of his going, and, almost before he realised what she was doing, she had threaded a needle with a bit of lilac silk and had dropped upon her knees be- fore him on the wolf's skin on which he stood. Deftly and quickly she mended the rent in the much reviled stocking, and rose lightly to his feet, scarcely touching Conrad's arm offered in assist- ance. I am very much obliged to you," began the young man in earnest tones, "and I Oh, never mind thanks for such a trifle Any one would have done as muwh. Now you may go bac.k to the little Alsatian peasant with whom you have been flirting all the evening." Von Rosenhain seemed in no hurry to go. So you have seen me before my appearance here this evening? Surely I see you for the first time now ? 1 he said wonderingly. Yes, I was among the lookers-on in the gal- lery, near the musicians, and I watched you par- ticularly during the hour that I was allowed to stay. My aunt declares that I am too young to appear at a ball a3 a guest—do you not think it a shame. I shall be 16 next birthday, and I love dancing." It is an unpardonable shame J" exclaimed Conrad excitedly, as he looked into her plaintive violet eyes, dewy with tears. I will go and beg your aunt to let you come. Describe her to me, and I will search till I find her." Pray do nothing of the kind, Herr von Rosehain," said the girl, laying her pretty hand on Conrad's sleeve the whole household would be scandalised if it knew you had visited me here. It is kind of you-very kind-to interest yourself in me but it is too late now." I must do as you wish, of course," returned Conrad, reluctantly. However, it flatters me that you cared to discover my name." You would like to know mine, I suppose," she said, with a saucy smile, but I am not going to tell it to you. Call me Penelope, or one of the Pates, or any one who sits working busily while others are amusing themselves, and weave some kind of interesting romance about me. Now leave me, I beg of you. I hope you will enjoy the remainder of the ball, and I am very glad I have been of service to you." I thank you heartily," said Conrad, passing one of her soft white hands gallantly to his lips. Upon his return to the ballroom the festivity seemed to have lost all its charms for Conrad von Rosenhain; the guests' voices were noisy and dis- cordant compared with the low, girlish tone to which he had just been listening, and there was not a face in all the throng that did not pale before the delicate loveliness of the one be had seen bending over the heap of coloured silks in the little boudoir. He sauntered alone about the conservatories and anterooms for the remainder of the evening, asking himself who the lovely little fairy could be whom fate had thrown in his way; he dared not inquire without acting contrary to her wishes that their interview should remain a secret—and her wish was law. The next day was a dark one for Schloss Mar- burg; the news spread like wildfire that the Countess Linden waa stricken down with violent fever, and the frightened guests were begged to disperse with all possible haste. Von Rosenhain was obliged to take his departure with the others, much though he yearned to find out who his bene- factress was, of whose childish violet eyes and lovely pink-tinted face he had been dreaming ever since. It would have been heartless to pursue his investigations at such a time, and he could not stay and be a burden upon the stricken house. A few weeks later Conrad von Rosenhain, to- gether with many another brave youth, was called upon to assist in the defence of his fatherland against the French, and in the excitement of army life his mind had less time to dwell upon the pretty little unknown who had so fascinated him. In an engagement near the village of Kirchfelt, Lieutenant von Rosenhain was wounded in the shoulder-not severely, but enough to make him unfit for service for some weeks. As no hospital was in the neighbourhood, Schloss Hohenstein, the home of a certain Baron von Remsthal, was chosen as quarters for the invalid, and thither Von Rosenhain was sent to await recovery Schloss Hohenstein was a fine old mansion rapidly falling ineo decay the shrubberies were tangled and unkempt, the statues crumbled un- heeded. And within doors the desolation was nearly as great—the once beautiful furniture and tapestries were worm-eaten and in tatters. More- over, there were very few servants and rumours reached Conrad's ears of the Baron von Rems- thal being deeply involved in debt. One bright, sunny day, as Conrad was walking through the garden, rejoicing at the thought of soon being able to rejoin his regiment, some one advanced before him whom he had not seen before at Schlosa Hohenstein-a graceful young girl in a pretty fur-trimmed dress, her cheeks flushed with the cold, crisp air. Surely he had seen those eyes before Was he dreaming, or was this really the same mysterious fairy who had mended his stock- ing at the fancy ball ? "Good morning, Lieutenant von Rosenhain she said, with the lovely smUehe remembered so well. I am so glad you are well enough tq be owt again, I haye enquired for yon eyerytfay I but have not had the pleasure of seeing you be- fore. I hope you have not forgotten me;" Never declared Conran, retaining the little band so frankly proffered him. How odd that we should meet again quite by chance! But you do not know me. I must introduce myself now, because I am your hostess. I am Daphne von Remsthal, and I live here with my father." "So at last I know the name of the fair unknown who helped me out of my very unplea- sant predicament at Count Marburg's ball It is a question that I have asked myself in vain thousands of timessince." It was astonishing how much these two, who had never met before but once, found to say to each other in the old garden, and the summons to luncheon came all too soon. From this day on the invalid soldier found nothing so beneficial for his health as a stroll in the shrubbery, even when the weather seemed unpropitious; and Daphne, the hostess, could not but chat with her guest when they met. The two were sittiag one day near an old moss- grown sun-dial at the end of the garden walk, and a very pretty tableau they made-she with a bright colour in her cheeks, her light curly hair tossed about her forehead, and her eyes like dia- monds, and he with enough pallor-the result of his illness-to lend a new interest to his face, and his fine figure set off by his uniform. Daphne had gathered a tiny bunch of winter violets, and was showing her treasure to Conrad, who bent his his head over hers to see them, when both were startled by a voice saying, in not the gentlest of tones- "Lieutenant Von Rosenhain, you are very imprudent to sit fin this damp garden while you are still an invalid. Daphne, you will accompany me to the house, as Fraulein Lindes, your gover- ness, seems to have deserted you." Daphne arose with a frightened look in her eyes, and took her father's arm for it was the old Baron who had so ruthlessly broken in upon her tete-a-tete with Conrad. As Conrad strode past a half-ruined summer- house standing a little back from the avenue, the sound of smothered sobbing reached his ear. In another moment he stood in the little harbour, clasping both Daphne's hands in his and looking down into her tear-brimming eyes with a world of love and pity in his own. Am I not to congratulate you or your engage- ment ?" he asked, with a bitter rinll in his voice. Ob, no, no! I am so unhappy. But what can I do ? We are very poor—almost on the verge of want—and I cannot disappoint my father." Do love anyone else?" Conrad asked, eagerly watching her face. For reply she leaned her pretty head upon his shoulder, and the young soldier knew the truth. The next day Lieutenant von Rosenhain took his departure. His heart was heavy at the thought that he would perhaps never see Daphne again but the memory that she loved him awakened a song of triumph within him, hopeless though their love was. There had been a sharp engagement between French and Prussians on the outskirts of the little village of Apledorf, and the contending parties hovered still about the place for another attack on the morrow. At nightfall Lieutenant von Rosenhain and a few other officers and men gathered round a meagre camp fire to try to snatch a few hours' sleep. It is a pity we can have no better fire on this bitter cold night; go to the house yonder, Wil- helm, and see if you can find any fuel," said one of the officer's. The man took a lantern and went towards the deserted-looking building standing in its own grounds, the abandoned home of some rich family. He returned with his arms full of books. The place has been plundered, sir, of every- thing but these but they will make a fine fire." As no one objected, the soldier flung the arm- ful of books upon the dying flames. Bring more-the idea is not bad," and soon the camp-fire burned merrily, fed by scores of priceless old volumes. A pity-a great pity; but our men cannot freeze," said a man, lying wrapped in his cloak, near Von Rosenhain. He had curiously piercing dark eyes, and a moustache nearly white but his figure was lithe and active ag any youth's. Von Rosenhain watched him narrowly and won- dered that he had not sepflhim before. Presently Conrad leaned forward, and with his sabre idly raked a little vellum-bound book towards him out of the burning pile. It was a volume of Dante's Inferno, with the date 1530. On the fly leaf were these words in faded ink. "Daphne, de son ami Louis." Daphne," said Conrad, half to himself—" an unusual name, and a very pretty one." I am glad you like it," observed the dark-eyed stranger at his side it is the name of the girl who is to be my wife." Conrad looked at the man in silence. The idea took sudden possession of him that his hated rival was before him; but he could not bear to hear the truth from the man's own lips. On the first opportunity that offered, he asked one of the men who the tall officer was with the eagle eyes and the grey moustache. That is Colonel Hugo von Pleyel," was the reply. The next night it was necessary to send an im- portant message to a certain point three miles distant. The way lay through the village, and was dangerous, as many French soldiers were skulking about. Conrad von Rosenhain was chosen as one messenger, and, oddly enough, it fell to the lot of Colonel von Pleyel to accompany him. At dark the two men set forth on their dan- gerous errand, the elder knowing little of the hate for him in the young one's breast. On the way they spoke little, and followed each other in the darkness as well as they could. Passing through a narrow gateway at the end of the village street, Von Rosenhain's sword slipped and struck on the ground. Whojgoes there ?" called a gruff voice in French, followed by the sharp report of a musket. Foolish fellow, to waste his bullet aiming in the dark!" said Conrad to himself. Outside the village the danger was over, and Von Rosenhain, having wandered out of hearing of his companion, hurried on alone, delivered his message, and returned to the camp. Next morn- ing, on enquiring for Colonel von Pleyel, Conrad heard to his astonishment that he had not re- turned. Wondering, he set out again over the road that they had traversed together on the previous evening, and as heneared the little gate at the end of the deserted street he saw to his surprise Colonel von Pleyel sitting on a bench beside a cottage. We were wondering at your absence, Colonel," he was about to say, but the words froze on his lips. Hugo von Pleyel was stone dead, shot through the brain. Von Rosenhain remembered with a shock the striking of his sabre on the ground, the challenge of the French soldier, and the bullet fired. That bullet had struck down the man whom he hated above all others on earth. He had fallen upon the stone bench without a cry, and, supported by the wall of the house, had sat in ghastly silence ever since. A successor was needed to fill the post of the lamented Colonel von Pleyel, and to Conrad von Rosenhain's delight it was offered to him as a reward for his past bravery. The first person to whom the young man wrote of his advancement was the Baron von Remsthal, and the letter con- tained a formal request for the hand of his daughter Daphne in marriage. Daphne herself replied with a happy, glowing letter and when the summer came the soldier-lover claimed his bride. Daphne, in her orange blossoms, was beautiful as an angel," the neighbours said.

LOCAL LIFE BOAT SERVICES IN 1884. The following is a list of the splendid services rendered to local vessels by the lifeboats or the Royal National Lifeboat Institution during the past twelvemonths: Ketch Sarah Jane, of Bridgwater, 3; smack Ellen, of Newport, 2; gteairst Caerleon, of Cardiff, 20; schooner Richd. Cobden, of Swansea, anchored vessel and brought ashore crew, 5 smack Three Sisters, of Cardi- gan, 3 schooner Alexander, of Beaumaris, 4 smack Rapid, of Cardigan, 3; schooner Eliza beth Anne, of Carnarvon, and another schooner belonging to Runcorn, saved two vessels and 1; smack Ellen, of Milford, 3 smack Antelope, of Aberystwyth, saved vessel and 2 s.s. Welsh Prince, of Newport, 40 barque Maxima, of Swansea, rendered assistance; schooner John and Ann, of Aberystwyth 3 yawl Juno, of Beau- maris, 2. The total lives saved number 621. In addition to these invaluable services in saving life no less than 17 vessels were by means of the lifeboats rescued from being totally wrecked, or were brought by them safely into harbour. Further, the lifeboats were launched 142 times in reply to distress signals, but returned to shore, the crews having jeopardised their lives in vain because the signals had been either made in error, or help was not required. During the year the society also granted rewards for the rescue of 159 lives by means of shore boats and fishing boats, so that a grand total of 780 lives has been saved in the last twelve months through its instrumentality, bringing up the number of lives saved since the foundation of the institution to 31,343. In order to carry on this great work, which is second to none in impor- tance, and to maintain iq efficiency their fleet of 284 boats, the committee make a strong appeal to the public for help, feeling. assured, that that.. appeal will oof; be made in vain,

YANKEE YARNS. Recently in Texas a couple bent on marriage procured a license and set out with one or two to look up a parson. They reached the river; but, alas, there was no boat in which to cross The parson concluded to marry the couple across the river and they joined hands and took their stand near the water's edge, while the preacher, on the opposite bank, in stentorian voice, pronounced the marriage service and declared them man and wife. Something like this occurred to a Chicago man, except that the preacher successfully swam the river. The man now wishes he had been drowrod. A JOURI?ALISTS'S PRIVILEGES. Oh, I think it must be so nice to be connected with a newspaper," said Miss M'Flynn to young Quilldriver, as they sat together one evening. Yes, it is, so so," he replied. But why do you think it is Why, it has so many advantages. I should think you would glory in the freedom, the power, the liberty, and all»the privileges of the press." "Certainly, I do. It's a pity, with all your enthusiam on the subject, that you are not a journalist." I think so, too; but you know it is hard for a woman to get recognition. I should be delighted to feel that the press embraced me.' Oh, you would, would you ? Great Scott! wait till I turn down the gas." Colonel,Woods, the oldest practising lawyer in Iowa, and familiarly known as!"Old Timber,was once called upon aa an expert to prove the rea- sonable value of certain services rendered by a brother attorney. On his direct examiuation, he stated, in a rather, careless manner, that he had been practising law in the territory and State of Iotfa for the last fifty or sixty years. Upon-cross- examination, a young attorney undertook to have some sport at Old Timber's expense, with this result. How long did you say you had prac- tised law in this country?" Fifty or sixty years, sir." Well, will you state what was the charac- ter of your practice during the earlier part-say, for the first twenty-five or thirty years in the ter- ritory and State ?" "Yes sir. I was then what might be appropriately called an itinerant lawyer." "An itinerant lawyer Will you be so kind, Colonel, as to expl&in to the court and jury what you mean by the term itinerant lawyer" Cer- tainly, sir. In those early days I used to travel around the circuit with the judge, and my busi- ness was to try causes for young gentlemen like you who had brass enough to undertake a case, but not brains enough to try it." Gaylord Clarke, of the Knickerbocker magazine in New York, was quite a humourist in bis way. When he was publishing the magazine, Barnum had his museum where the Herald building now stands. Clarke and Barnum were great friends, yet each liked to turn the joke on the other. On one occasion Clark came down to the museum in great haste, aiti wanted to know of Mr Barnum if he had the club Captain Cook was killed with, and, fi he had, would he allow him to examine it. as he was writing an article for the magazine on the death of Cooi, and would like to familiarise himself with too appearance of the weapon that ended his existence. Mr Barnum said that he was only too happy to be able to gratify his curiosity, as he had the identical club, and that he would go and get it for him. Mr. Barnum, in narrating the incident afterwards, said, I went and picked cut an Indian club that looked as if it might have killed Captain Cook or any one else, and brought it back, and assured Mr Clarke that that was the identical club. He examined it for a time critically, and, then, handing it back, said, Mr Barnum, I thought you must hive it; as all tha small museums in the country have it, a large one like yours couldinot afford to do without it.' I told Clarke I owed him one; and then he left, chuckling over how nicely he had turned the point on me." Uncle Pleasant Batkins is sixty, and his wife seventy-two. The other day a friend said, Uncle Pleasant, why did you marry a woman nearly old enough to be your mother?" "You see, boy," he replied, wiih a sigh, I[was wurkin" for long John Freeman in Hanover when I was jest eighteen, and Sarah Ann Russ, old Mrs Russ's only daughter, was thirty, if she wur a day. At every quiltin' she used to chuse me for a partner, and everybody said it 'peared like she wur a-courtin' me. She gimme four pair cotton socks and a heap of things but still I didn't have no notion of her. Well, one Christmas eve I went to the old woman's, and had hardly sot dowrt be- fore Sarah Ann brought me some sweet-potato pie. which she knowd I was monstrous fond of. While I was eatin' it I heaw £ the old woman up- stairs a-countin' silver dollars. Now thar was no plaster to the ceilin', and the up-stairs floor had cracks in it as big as my finger. So, you see, I could hear the jingle of the money jest as well as if I had been up thar myself. When she had counted nine hundred and six, I draped up to Sary Ann and popped the question, ia course she said she'd have me, and the next Thursday we was married. Now what do you think I found out the next day? Why, that the old women did't have but thirty Mexican dollars, and that she counted 'em over and over jest to fool me. Don't marry for money, boy, 'specially for silver dollars." A MERE TRIFLE, In a company of travellers each one was relat- ing accounts of various adventures of a startling nature that had occurred to them. Presently a Yankee was called upon for his experience. Wall, naow, I don't know thet anythm' remark- able ever happened to me. Yas, wall, I dew now recollect that once a rather curious little affair did occur but it was nothin' worth mentiouin really a mere trifle. I was once a lookin' on at some countrymen puttin' a new shingle roof onter a barn. They had the job nearly finished. There was jes' one other bundle left to carry up to the roof. I saw it a-layin' thar at the foot of the lad- der. I asked those fellows why they didn't carry it up. They said they'd jes' like ter see any one feller thet 'ud carry up that air bundle 'thout openin' on't. Wall, I told 'em thet I kinder thought as how I could dew it. Wall, they jest laffed at that idear o' min, for the bundle was pooty dooced big an' heavy, I can tell ye. So I jes' picked up thet air bundle of shingles—'bout a thousan', morn' less-an started right up thet ar ladder. The shingles was so heavy thet- would ye believe it ?-the rungs of thet air ladder jes' broke one after 'nother under my feet as I dumb up it. But I was so tarnal spry an' active thet I jumped from one rung to another, the rung fallin' all the time one after t'other to the ground. I reached the top o' the ladder jes' as the last rung fell, an* the ladder, havin' nothin' to hold it together, of course fell apart and left me there. I didn't like to drop the shingles, after takin' so much trouble, so I jes' hung onter 'em by both hands and caught hold of the gutter by my teeth, when an ingenious fellow got me out of the tarnation fix by working the hose of a fire- engine under me thet happened to be there and on thet jit I ris and landed the shingles safe." AN EXPENSIVE MAGAZINE. Would you like to buy that magazine?" asked the soft-voiced and timid pea-nut on the east-bound Union Pacific train, the other day, of a middle-aged passenger who was looking over the October Harper and reading Judge Good- 9 win's article on the Mormon Situation. No," said the middle-aged party; it is my own mag- azine, land therefore I do not care to buy it." Excuse me," said the poor little frightened pea- nutter, while the tears came into his eyes. I fear you want to cheat a poor orphan boy out of his books. Please pay me, sir, or let me have the magazine back again. Ah, sir, you would not rob me of myogoods!" No," said the stern stranger; I do not wish to rob you of your book, my boy but I bought this on the Utah Northern road and paid for it. When I went into the eating-house for breakfast, the train butcher took it out of my seat and sold it to me again in the afternoon. I was in the middlo of an article when we got to the dinner station, so I turned down the leaf and left it again in my seat. I bad to buy it once more. Now the magazine has cost me two dol- lars, and you want me to give it to you so that you can sell it through Nebraska, no doubt. No, my poor little orphan-lad, you may go and soak your head for an hour or two and bathe your tear-bedimmed eyes, but I cannot give up my two-dollar magazine. Peddle out your bead moc- casins made by the hostile Indians of Chicago, sell ou your little stock ofnice eating apples at twenty-seven dollars per barrel, with two prize- worms in each and every apple, but do not dis- turb me while I read my expensive periodical. I will not bother you while you sell your fancy mixed candies that have been running back and forth over the road since '69. I will not interfero with you while you sell your Indian curiosities made in Connecticut. Go ahead and make all the money you can; but give me a chance to peruse this article without the regular assessment." Then the boy went to the sleeping car conductor and asked who that sarcastic old cuss over yonder might be, and the conductor said it was the Marquis of Lome. And the boy believed it.

INTERNATIONAf., HEALTH EXHIBITION, LONDON —The Highest, A ward (Gold Medal) has been awarded to the Wheeler and Wilson New Style Sewing MaOaines, for great superiority over all others. All experts pronounce the Wheeler and Wilson Nos. 8 and 10 Machines the most wonderful pieces of mechanisiq 'in the world,suitable for everybody, and every class of sewing, baa. vj and light—Wheeler and Wilson, 19 Dutç,tIee3 C:iJ1I1ü1""Q 1\ 11 dJit'f 'eDtteiD g¡3triO.g i

FACTS AND FANCIES. QUEBy.-Can a shepherd's crook be termed a ram rod ? PERSONS WHO TAKE MEASURES TO ENLARGE THEIR BUSINESS.—Tailors. ANOTHER SAW SHARPENED.—It is the clean table-cloth that catches the early grease-pot. Why are not many of the handsome watch- chains one sees like silence ?-Because they are not gold. Epitaphs are sometimes so ludicrous," says a waggish stonemason, "that they make even grave-stones funny." In the Swiss mountains. "Marquis, come with me to watch the sunset." The Marquis, smiling: Thanks—no I saw it yesterday." Head of the establishment: David, you are a fool!" David Well, sir, I can't help it. When you engaged me, you told me to imitate you, and I've done the best I could." Wife: "John, our coachman must go." "But why, my dear? Our only daughter is married." Yes, but—John, I'm not so very old myself, you know." He My dear, we must discharge the coach- man." She: "But we haven't a daughter. He: Not yet, but we may have, and I'm not going to take any risk." An Indiana baby, born during a terrible storm, has been named Cyclonia. It's father ,says the appellation is a misnomer. A cyclona doesn't howl every night. Journalistic amenities in Nevada are spiced with originality. One editor says his ;esteemed contemporary has been known to kiss a child and inoculate it with delirium tremens. SWEETLY STMPHONIOUS. — "Yes,he cried passionately, I love you so true, > so true. Never mind, darling, said she artlessly, A11 have my trousseau ordered at once." For heroic but vain endeavours to look pleased, says a crusty old batchelor, nothing can equal the facial expressions of two girls compelled to dance with each other on account of the scarcity of men, SCOTCH DEFINITION OF METAPHYSICS.— Two men are talking together. He that's listening dinna ken what he that's speaking means. He that's speaking dinn ken, what he means him- self. That's metaphysics, Scene Brighton hotel table-d'hote personce-a young swell and an elderly distinque-looking man. Young swell: I feel sure I must have met you somewhere." Elderly man "Very likely I am a pawnbroker." An aged negro was showing the' scars of the wounds inflicted by the lash when he was a slave. What, a picture exclaimed a sympathising looker-on. Yes," responded the coloured brother, dat's de work ob de old masters." A tailor whose bill had remained unpaid for some years called upon X., an impenitent Bohe- miad, and found him in bed at noon. Why don't' you work instead of sleeping ?" said the tailor. Time is money." Ah, well, if time is money, I will pay you in time," answered X. A candidate for the office of auditor of public accounts was suddenly called for a speech. On rising, he commenced," Fellow-citizens, you have called on me for a few remarks.' I have none to make. I have no prepared speech. Indeed, I am no speaker I do not desire to be a speaker- I only want to be an auditor." Briggs hired a cob the other day, to take a little exercise. He got more exercised than he wanted; and, as he limped to the side of the road to rest himself, a kind friend asked him, What did you come down so quick for ?" What did 1 come down so quick for ? Did you see anything up in the air for me to hold on to?" he asked grimly. QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY.—German Professor in the "high-daughter school I have to you. my young ladies, in the last hour communicated that the brain of the man larger is than that of the woman. What conclude you thereout, Frau- lein Bertha. Bertha That it with the brain not upon the quantity, but upon the quality depends!" Daughter, home from school: Now, papa, are you satisfied ? Just look at my testimonial- 'Political economy satisfactory fine arts and music very good logic excellent-' Father Very much so, my dear—especially as regards your future. If your husband should understand anything of housekeeping, cooking, mending, and the use of a sewing-machine perhaps, your mar- ried life will indeed be happy." The French have a mania for prize-giving and prize-winning, and, curiously enough, the prize is not necessarily the reward of merit, Witness this diaiogue between a Parisian lady and a little girl in a Norman village—the little girl is carry- ing home a book and a wreath—" What, Berenice, have you a prize? I thought that you did not go 9" 4 to school yet?" No morel do, madame; the prize is to encourage me to go next year." MOTHER-IN-LAW'S SAGACITY.—An eminent scholar is the defendant in a suit for a judicial separation. His mother-in-law is naturally one of the witnesses against him. "Yes, your lordship, he introduced into the house works of a character that is indescribable." "But," says the judge meditatively, "you say these works were in Chinese?" The mother-in-law answers trium- phantly, Certainly and would they have been in Chinese if he had not been ashame&to have us know what there was in them ? HEAR, HEAR !-Aurist to patient We'll see directly what your difficulty of hearing arises from. Can you hear this tick V—holding out his watch. Lady: "No." Aurist.bolAing it nearer: Now, possibly ? Lady No. Aurist, placing his watch closer to the patient's ear Well, now, at all events ?" Lady Not a sound." Aurist: "Why, you must be all but stone-deaf You surely can't understand what I'm saying to you?" Lady: "Indeed I can, I assure you Aurist: But upon my word He looks at the watch, then puts'it to his ear. "Oh, I beg ten thousand pardons! The watch has not beeuyivound up The other day an English gentleman was strolling through the fish-market in JParis, where a lively sale by auction was going on, and by chance he stopped before a basket containing 144 soles. Whilst looking at the fish, which were particularly fine, he chanced to scratch the tip of his nose in a meditative manner; to his dismay, he found that, thanks to this simple move- ment, he was the owner of a great bargain at seventy-five francs the lot, le-lis five centimes apiece for percentage. Making the best of his bargain, he despatched the soles home, and was enabled to make liberal gifts to his friends and acquaintances, as well as tojeat fish to repletion for the next two days. A man who has made'his fortune in a very dif- ferent way says that had it not been for his dog he would have been a great actor. Tragedy was his line and after patient waiting he at last got a part suitable, as he thought, to his talents. Not only did he get his part, but he got through it, and that well, right up to the last act; and then came failure, because one, and only one, of a large audience failed to -appreciate his efforts. In the excitement of acting he did not notice that his dog had taken a conspicuous and good posi- tion in the ceutre of the .stage, as if to criticise his master's performance. With more candour than we are all able to exercise, finding it, to his taste, slow, he looked round at the audience, back again at his master, then, deliberately strolling to the footlights, gave a terrific yawn and trotted off and, alas the proverbial descent from the sublime to the ridiculous was in this case as quick as the drop of tne curtain

MEDICINES, ELASTIC STOCKINGS, CHEMICALS, DRUGS, &c., by parcel post, under lib, 3d, Kay Bros., Stockport. 213 KAY'S COMPOUND, for Colds and Coughs. Sold throughout the World, Is I;cl 9d &c. Kay Bros., Stockport. 213 KAY'S COMPOUND, for Coughs and Colds, is equally serviceable for Horses and Cattle, 9jd, Is l;!d, and 2s 9d. 213 THE VERY BEST! I have examined the Pills known as KERNICK'S VEGETABLE PILLS. I certitytheir composition to be purely vegetable. I have also tried their effect, and. consider, them one of the best Aperient Pills for consti- I pated habits that I know of. (Signed), JOHN BALBIRNIE, M.A., M.D." ft ox, All CUewi^s. jft 1 a, la, anfl 2s 9a b9xees

MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE. I The police authorities at the stations of Brixton and Camberwell are at present engaged in prose- cuting inquiries respecting the disappearance of a person named John Bradford, which has taken place under suspicious circumstances. Mr Brad ford is a retired tradesman in easy circumstances, being the leaseholder of seven or eight houses, in one of which, 21, Wingrove-street, Lough- borough-junction, he had up to the time of his disappearance on Wednesday resided. His age is 65, and according to the discription which has been circulated by the police, he is of middle stature, with grey hair and beard, and was dressed at the time he was last seen in a blue pilot jacket, with a brown cord vest and trousers. For somellittle time past Mr Bradford had evinced symptoms of weak intellect, and seemed to be especially troubled in regard to money matters, although there appears to have been no ground for his apprehensions, seeing that he was in possession of a sum of money amounting to about £ 75 in gold and silver, which he was in the habit of carrying about with him in a canvas bag and exhibiting to people. So recently as Saturday last he was walking about the neighbourhood of Loilghborough Junc- tion and Coldharbour-lane, carrying his money bag in his hand and chinking the coin it contained in a manner that attracted the attention of several persons. He was spoken to on the subject and warned to be more cautious, especially by the woman who acted as his housekeeper in Wingrove- street. He, on that occasion, expressed great apprehensions as to his poverty, and also appeared in a state of alarm on account of inability to pay his ground rents, which, however, formed only a very insignificant proportion to his income. On the day before he left home he was walking about the house with a razor, and seemed to be in a very strange and distracted state of, mind, which, however, had on several occasions been the case during the last three or four months. On Wednesday he left the house,, and after waiting about in the neighbourhood for three or four hours he finally disappeared, and has not been seen since. It is not known with certainty whether he had the money in his possession at the time. As he was never known to be absent for so long a period before, information was imme- diately furnished to the police-station at Camber- well-green, and his description, together with the circumstances attending his departure, was circu- lated among all the police-stations in the metro- polis. He is known to have been strictly tem- perate in his habits, and was not a frequenter of public-houses. He appears to have had no relatives living, and his wife died six or seven years ago, leaving no children. A woman whom he had adopted, and who has since married, is, however, at present resident in the Walworth- road, and it was thought that he might have gone to her house. Neither she nor her husband, however, has any knowledge as to his where- abouts, and it is feared that some harm has befallen him.

EXTRAORDINARY PROCEEDINGS AT A YORKSHIRE WEDDING. I A Woman Acting as Parish Clerk. I On Tuesday a very unusual occurrence was wit- nessed by a large congregation who had assem- bled in the Mexbro' parish church, to sea the wedding of a Miss Dodsworth, of Mexbro', to a Mr Fleet, of Birmingham. The vicar, the Rev. H. Ellershaw, M.A., was in the vestry at the hour appointed, and the bride and, bridegroom, and friends were duly prepared for the ceremony. The parish clerk, Mr Lovett, had not, how- ever, turned up, and to the surprise of everybody, a Mrs Dunk, the church cleaner, went, Prayer-book in hand, to the front of the chancel rails, taking up a position by the side of the young couple about to be joined in wedlock. This had apparently been arranged by the vicar, for the rev. gentleman proceeded up the aisle, and at once commenced the service. But, instead of solemnity, the proceedings were provocative of mirth, and the ludicrous nature of the situation fully aroused the risible susceptibi- lities of all excepting the clergyman and the two in front of him. The vicar, treated the matter with perfect serenity of mood, but mortification was depicted on the countenances of of the affianced. The "deaner" was the reverse of that condition her- self,and appeared as though she had just come from the midst of her domestic duties. A jacket, through which she had not taken the trouble to place her arms, dangled over her shoulders the remainder of her attire was of that indifferent character adopted by some house wives when they are throng." She thus stood before the congre- gation with the Prayer Book in hand, uttering the Amens and other portions of the service devolving upon the clerk in a voice particularly audible. Just as she was in the midst of the per- formance, and apparently much appreciating the honour, the clerk entered the edifice, almost breathless, having, as he said, accidentally heard of the wedding. Astonished at what he saw, he took a seat at the back of the church, curiously noting how she went on." The couple were eventualty declared man and wife, and the cere- mony ended. The affair has caused rather a sensation.

TERRIBLE DYNAMITE EXPLO- SION IN IRELAND. A Man Blown to Pieces. At Carrickfergus, on Friday evening, whilst a young man named John Hodkinson was heating some dynamite cartridges for blasting purposes, the cartridges exploded with fearful force, almost wrecking the house, and infiictiug such terrible injuries upon the man that he died soon after- wards. Deceased's left hand was blown clean off, and has not yet been recovered.

GAS EXPLOSION AT PORTH. A House Wrecked. An explosion of gas occurred in a house at York- place, Porth, on Friday evening, and injured a woman. It appears the gas leaked into the sewer, and so got conducted under the fireplace, where it exploded, shattering the fire place, wrecking that house, and damaging the house adjoining. The landlady of one of the houses was seriously injured. Great excitement prevailed in the district.

A DESPERATE POACHER. Attempt to Murder a Constable. Jonathan Sharpe, a notorious poacher, was arrested at Maidenhead on ITriday, charge of desperately assauliing Police-constable Winch, early on Wednesday morning. The constable met Sharpe at a lonely spot at Winkfield, and, suspecting him of poaching, attempted to search him. Sharpe offered a determined resistance, and after felling the constable to the ground with the butt-end of a gun made his escape for the time.

I FEEL SO WEARY AND TIRED" Is the exclamation of many whom we daily meet, yet they never pause to think or reflect upon the cause of ,this feelinc. It may arise from "sluggish vitd impure blood,' which, if neglected, is the forerunner of serious and chronic disorders. This weary and tired feeling is nature warning us that there is something wrong, which must be set right, or a long and lingering illness will speedily follow. What does nature require to throw off this weary and tired feeling? She requires to have new life and energy imparted to all the organs of the body, and the best means to do so is to take Cxwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters," which purifies the blood, and imparts new life and energy. It is invalu- able to those who are su tiering from affections of the chest, indigestion, nervousness, debility in its worst forms, depression of spirits, and melancholy. GWILYM EVANS'S QUININE BITTERS. THE VEGETABLE TONIC.—This preparation is now exten- sively taken throughout the country by patients suffer- ing from debility, nervousness, and general exhaustion, and, if any value be attached to human testimony, the efficacy of this medicine has been successfully estao- lished. Its claims have been tested and proved by the medical profession and others, and corroborated oj written testimonials of eminent men. The yu Bitters contain not only a suitable quantity in each dose, but the active principles of inTpn well-known herbs—sarsaparilla, satfron, gen > der, and dandelion root. The use of Quinine is we! known, but it has never been satisfactorUycombmHd with these preparations until, »f&^ c°nsi derable difficulties, the proprietor was able to secure a perfectly uniform preparation, combining all the essential properties of kb°T, P ^*ts inthei greatest purity and concentration. 3 now established as a family medicine, and is increasing in popular favour the more it is known and tested. Gwylim Evans's Quinine Bitters is a tome pick-me-up. scientifically mixed in happy proportions. tlie MODE OF ACTION..—(And here lies the secret of "J Remedy.)—The Quinine Bitters (being a vegetame tonic), by their peculiai power, strengthen thafc Pa the system which is weakest, and? thercfore JD?st liable to colds and tneir attendant diseases. gredients they contain cannot be put into V.JTJTi patient can follow his usuai occupation without tear ot eX(§wiLYM JEVANS' QUININE BITTERS ave recommended; by Doctors, Analysts, Chemists. Sold hs 6d dottles, and Cases containing three Us 6a. Bottles at 12s 6d per case, by all Chemists, or from the Proprietor, arriage free, parcels post (under cover). JN.li.—Tso one-' hould suffer without trying "Gwilym Evans Quinine Bitters."—Mr GWILYM EVANS, F.C.S., ^Proprietor, abor0iteyy»W«M»elly» South Wales. 7Q3&8

THE MAESTEG COLLIERY EX- j PLOSION. | Inquest and Verdict. j I Mr Howell Cuthbertson, coroner, concluded on J Friday, at the Pontycymmer Hotel, Ton, the adjourned inquiry on the bodies of the three men who were killed by the explosion at the Pwllcarn Colliery, Garw Valley, near Maesteg. Mr John Davies, one of the owners, and Mr Rees Davies, London, were present on behalf of the Transatlantic Steam Coal Company and Mr Scale, solicitor, Maesteg, watched the inquiry on behalf of the relatives of the deceased. Evidence was given by Charles Harris, sinker, and William Boyle, sinker and contractor, to the effect that naked lights were generally used in the workings, and that on the occasion a naked light had been taken into the pit. The jury, returned a verdict of Accidentally killed."

FEARFUL BOILER EXPLOSION. I! I Two Men Killed Many Injured. On Friday afternoon a fearful boiler ex- | plosion occurred at Stanley Spinning: Company's: Mill, Oldham. The cause of the explosion is un- known, but the force was such as to shake the boiler-house and kill two men, named Wm. Bostock,fireman, and Jas. Mather, operati ve. Four other persons, who were severely injured, were removed to Oldham Infirmary. The mill had recently been stopped owing to the breakdown of j' the engine. A later telegram states,. that the boiler-house was blown down andthe economiser-house de- A molished, the beams and bricks being thrown all considerable distance. William Bostock, the | fireman, who leaves a widow and family, was f killed near the boiler-house, his body being shockingly burnt and scalded. James Mather, a factory operative, was also killed on the spot. I Many others had narrow escapes; and of the | four most seriously injured, one man, named William Smethurst, sustained a fracture of the skull, and is not expected to recover. The other three were less seriously injured, and in their case a fatal result is not apprehended. The damage to the mill is considerable, and the works will now be stopped for some time. The explosion was heard at a great distance, and hundreds of people flocked to the scene of the disaster. The Stanley Mill is a comparatively [ modern structure, but the engines have been undergoing extensive repairs, and the works have been stopped about five weeks. L

BRECONSHIRE BAPTIST ASSO- 1 CIA TION. ,1_- I-n- Quarterly Meeting at Llanfrynach. The quarterly meetings of the Breconshire Baptist Association were held on Tuesday and Wednesday at Llanfrynach Baptist Chapel, near Brecon. The conference of ministers and dele- gates was held on Tuesday, under the presidency of the Rev. B. Edwards, of Brecon, at which the following resolutions were passed:—(1.) That the churches be exhorted to hold a series of revival meetings, and that the first be held at Watergate, Brecon. (2.) That j32 each be handed over to the weak churches in the county from the home mission fund. (3.) That the most hearty thanks of the conference be given to the Rev. D. Mathias, of Llanwrtyd Wells, for the exceUent paper read by him on the work of the Holy Spirit, and that J he be requested to publish it through the medium of the Seren Gomer or tho Seven Cywru. (4.) That this conference feels a deep sense of sorrow at hearing of the somewhat sudden and unexpected death of our dear and highly esteemed brother, the Rev. E. W. James, Pantycelyn, and desires to express its sincerest sympathies with the bereaved widow and family. (5) That the Rev. D. B. Edwards, Brecon, and the Rev. J. Vanstone, Hay, be requested to read papers and preach on given subjects at the next quarterly meeting.—A delegate suggested that it waa full time the electors of Breconshire should know who will be the candidate that will contest the county in the Liberal interest at the next general elec- tion.—On Tuesday evening and Wednesday public services were held, and a student from Llangollen College was ordained a minister. The following ministers officiated at the public servicesProf. Davies, Llangollen College; Revs. D. B.,Edwards. Davies, Llang Brecon D. Mathias, Llanwrtyd Wella J. Van- stone, Hay; J. L. Evans, Zoar; G. H. Jones, Nantyffin G. H. Llewellyn, Maesyberllau (secretary to the association); J. W. Evans,J. Roberts. Pisgah and J. Jenkins, Crickhowell^

I- THE HEALTH OF MR. GLAD- STONE. j We are enabled to state that Mr Gladstone has ) been somewhat indisposed for the last few days. The Premier took part in the Cabinet Council, which broke up at a quarter to seven, and an hour later he was visited again by Sir Andrew Clark, who came from attending a patient in the country expressly to see Mr Gladstone. The r Press Association representative had an interview with Sir Andrew Clark in Downing-street, after the doctor had seen Mr Gladstone. Sir Andrew stated that the Prime Minister was suffering from the same complaint as he was attacked by two years ago, and it had led to a recurrence of those sleepless nights from which he then suffered, It was necessary, therefore, that he should have j partial, if not complete, rest for ..a time in the I country "With this object, Sir Andrew Clark I has advised his patient to return as. soon as pos- sible to Hawarden, and rest from the worry of public affairs. In accordance with this advice, Mr Gladstone will leave for Hawarden to-day. It is probable that another continental trip may be advisable this spring, but upon this point Sir Andrew Clark has not at present come to a decision. The Prime Minister on Friday evening drove, with Sit Andrew Clark to Lord Reay's residence at Stan- hope-street, where he dined quite privately with the noble lord. Mr Gladstone walked with firm- ness to the carriage in Downing-street, but it was readily noticeable that he was exceedingly pale, and apparently careworn. By the doctor s orders, he returned early to Downing-atreet, where he will be again visited by the medical attendant this morning. On Monday last, the Premier s fbirthday, it was observable that the right hon. gentleman was not enjoying his usual good health, and he took no observable that the right hon. gentleman was not enjoying his usual good health, and he took no exercise on that day beyond attending the parish church at morning service. On New Year's Day he did not attend early morning service, contrary to his practice for many years, and it was remarked that he looked very pale. Notwithstand- ing the bitterly cold weather, the Premier took the train from Chester at 2 o'clock for London, as a Cabinet Council -was summoned for Fri- day. On arrival afc Euston Station, after over four hours' journey, Mr Gladstone looked far from well, and quickly entering a private carriage m waiting for him, drove direct to Downing-street, where his Private Secretary was awaiting his arrival. Sir Andrew Clark, his medical attendant, called upon him shortly afterwards, and remained with him some time. On Friday morning Sir Andrew again visited the Premier before he was up, and remained over half an hour. Sir Andrew reported that Mr Gladstone had made some improvement, but had passed a rather restless night. The Premier rose somewhat later than bsu; and commenced work almost immediately. Lonl Granville visited him at noon, and remained f more than an hour. It was know» at j^o o'clock that Mr Gladstone was sufficient well to attend the Cabinet Council, which met as arrange.! .it four o'clock. Dunn" the d»^ -^noae Min ,ter kept within doors, and aTv° attend to aJ matters of business wb'^ came betore him.

A MALE BEsgaR IN W0MEN S n CLOTHES. -rfjng impostor named,Armstrong WM efta A A go » month's imprisonment at Shefflel^a T.^HaV- was dressed in women's clothes iwl r ri a, baby in his arms. Jit transpired that thaba&r b»d been hired for the purpose of creating pathy.

LINSEED LOZENGES, solidified liases tes., 1 laxative and demulcent, 6d; postage 2d. Ray Bfoa-, i • Stockport, and all Chemists. 2 3 UNFAILING REMEDY FOB HEADACHES KERNICK'S VEGETABLE PILLS, FOR INDIGESTION Sold by all Chemists, &c., in 7id, 134d, and 2s 9d BEWARE OF IMITATIONS J I: Printed and Published by the Proprietors, DAVID DUNCAN & SONS, at their Steam Printla Works, 75 and 76, St. Mary-street, and Westgate-stwet In the 'town o! Cardiff in itio Counts of Glamorgan Printed and Published by the Proprietors, DAVID DUNCAN & SONS, at their Steam Printla J I: Printed and Published by the Proprietors, DAVID DUNCAN & SONS, at their Steam Printla Works, 75 and 76, St. Mary-street, and Westgate-stwet In the 'town o! Cardiff in itio Counts of Glamorgan