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To-day's Short Story. I

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To-day's Short Story. I CHRISTIE HOLMES' LAST TOT Did I like the service? Well. you see, that's rather a. hard question to answer in 31 hurry. One thing I must say, though* in common fairness, everything in the Army has altered considerably, and for the better, too, since the morning when 1. a. raw, gawky lad, walked irresolutely up and down Charles- street, Westminster, two or three times before Ted Hagan, of the King's Own Light Dragoons, stepped up to me and asked whether I would like to join. However, that's not answering your ques- tion, Did I like the servioe? Take it for all in all, I say yes. I served for over twenty years, so you must allow me to know what the Army is Like. Known a. few odd characters? Tee, I rather think so! If I'd ever thought during the time I was among them that their queer sayings and doings would be ever worth repeating, I might have filled a good many volumes. Talking about queer characters, the queerest I ever met was one Christopher Holmes, a private in my troop. Of course, he wasn't called Christopher, it was generally Christie, or more often "Young born drunk," for the story went that he had never beeu sober since his birth, except on one occasion. It was on a parade for general's inspection, and the colonel, who was passing along the ranks, suddenly stopped in front of Christie. "You're drunk again, sir," he sad4 with an awful frown, and poor Christie was marohed off to the "digger"-that's the slang for guard-room, you know. Well, as it turned out, Christie had signed the pledge only three days before, and actually kept it, so that he was perfectly sober, but every- body was so used to his general appearance that the change effected by his few days' sobriety made the colonel imagine it was brought on by another drinking bout. Oh. yes! he acknowledged his mistake, did the colonel, when he beard the facts, but Christie declared he'd never risk it again, and broke his jjedge the same night, and from the time we went ashore at Calcutta till— partly by rail and the rest of the road in bullock-hackeries—we reached the up-country station where we were quartered, Christie Holmes was always on the spree. WhPtl nothing was to be had at the canteen or at the sergeant's mess, Christie would walk over to the bazaar, where he soon picked up enough of the bat (language) to make his wants known, and there were always plenty of coolies and ghorawallahs ready to earn a couple of pieces by fetching him a bottle of dharn. though he'd never drink that when- ever anything better was to be got. What is it like? Well, I've tasted it. and precious fiery stuff it is, too, a dirty yellowish colour, and smells like a mixture 0( all the two-and-seventy stenches" that Coleridge counted in Cologne. Dharu is the native's name for it; the eokuers call it, by way of a joke you know, Sweet William," so you may guess what sort of stuff it is. However, good or bad, Christie Holmes could always fall back on Dharu if brandy wasn't to be had, and contrived to satisfy his crav- ing. Yes, you're quite right, eir. It must have been a disease. No man could have such an appetite for drink with a properly constituted stomach. In '67 an order came out that all men who had completed two-thirds of their first period of service might, if they choose, re-engage to complete the full term, twenty-one years, at once. They were offered, as a.n inducement to do so, a penny a day extra pay, from the date of re-engagement, the price of a new kit, and an allowance in lieu of furlough for those on foreign service. Yes, there were a great many who took advantage of the order, for, you see, it mounted up to a tidy lump of money, particularly i'n rupees. More than half a regiment put down their names, and were marched m batches day after day to the cantonment magistrate's office, where they were sworn in, receiving at the same time the bulk of the re-engagement money, which amounted to over £ 13 in English currency. Of course, yoa can imagine that these were glorious times for Christie Holmes. I was canteen sergeant daring the whole of it, and saw the worst that was going on. Yes, sir, that was the end of his drinking, and every- th,ing else in this world, for in a short time, Christie had been carried up to hospital in a dhoolie raving in horrors. Things were quieted down by this time, and the old strict rule returned. One pint of beer at dinnertime, which is drawn in bulk by an orderly corporal from each troop, and distributed by him to the men in their own bungalows, for, except on duty, no one is allowed to go out in the heat of the day, and a.t night one piut of beer from half- past six till seven, one tot of grog daring the ensuing half hour. Only one man can approach the bar at a. time, and, to ensure that nobody is served twice, the orderly corporal from each troop gits on a form facing the bar, where he can have a full view of everyone as they come up. Well, sir, as I told you. on this particular occasion I was thi-nkinig a great deal about Christie as I walked up and down amongst the barrels. and wishnsg that half past seven might come so tha<t I could go away. Presently in cam- a.n orderly from the hospital, and I asked him bow the poor fellow was. "Bather quieter now," be said; "but he means mischief. They have put him in a ward by himself, with two men to look after him, for he got his razor out this afternoon, and only that he was closely watched he'd have used it. Just as I was leaving the ward he went on muttering the words to himself, I'll have my tot though, clever as they are; they shan't keep =Lv rights from me. I'm entitled to my tot and I'll have it, in spite of all these grinning friends that are mock- ing at me and trying to hold me back.' Well, sir, the orderly had scarcely finished speaking when I started as though I had been shot, for I heard the corporal's voice, Don't give that man any more grog, waiter. That will do. Holmes, you're pegged up!" But it was spoken too late, the measure of liquor was lifted from '-he bar, its contents drunk, and replaced by Christie, who walked away with the eaane quiet grin on his face it always wore when he had thus circumvented the corporal. I ran up to the bar and called out the provost-sergeant to have Christie secured at once, and then angrily to the corporal acd asked him how the man oame to have bad a first dram, much less a second. He has no business here at an." I said, being a patient in hospital." This, however, it turned out the corporal was not aware of, as he had been away on duty all day. Well, the long and abort of it was, sir—I see we are nearly at our journey's end, and my story's just finish-ed--Chriatie Holmes was not to be found near the canteen, and I sent post haste up to the hospital to tell of his escape, thinking that the men who were looking after him had neglected their duty. Well, you ma gilt have knocked me down with a feather when I heard the news they brought back Not only me, but everyone round me had seen poor Christie as distinctly as I did. It came out that he was very quiet after the orderly left, so much so, that be was allowed to get up and dress himself in bis regimentals, when all of a sudden he jumped up and darted through the door and out into the compound before anyone could stop him. They were after him directly, you may be sure, and their shouts attracted the atten- tion of the sentry at the gate, who prepared to catch Christie; but he, as soon as he per- ceived this, stopped, looked round, and then, seeing there was no way of escape, for a high wall bonneted the compound, made another run. ot to tbO gnte this time, though, but a raised platform of brickwork close by. It was the top of the hospital well. A coup e of soldiers started up in a. fright re the poor mad fellow rushed towards them, and feebly attempted to stay him. They mdght as well have tried to stop a runaway I horse. He knocked them over like ninepins, and sprang to the roof of the well, down on his knees by its mouth, a.nd then, shaking both his flflte high above his head, plunged down before his pursuers could reach him. Yes, it was a Bad ending, and shows what drink will bring a man to in the long run, indeed, sir. Where did the rum go to? Well, yes, that is the strangest parl of it. Christie never mixed it with water before.

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