Abergavenny Chronicle

WOUNDED HORSES. When an Army horse is wounded about the faoa or jaw it is not sent down to the veterinary lines, but is kept to be tended by its driver. Then it is that a good driver's care comes in, for the men tend them most carefully, feeding them by hand, boiling their oats, making' them mashes, and spending most of the day with their charges until they can feed in com- fort again. It is this personal care of the man for I!is horse that has been the cause of the new order that all horses have to be returned from hospital to their own units again; for a man's care is by no means transferred to the same extent to a new team of horses.

———.——— ANIMAL FOOD BARRED. Mrs. Priscilla McDouall, of 37, Wairing- ton-crescent, Maida Vale, London, W., who left Y.15,231, gives her premises in Warring? ton-crescent to the Theosophical Society, on condition that no animal body of any kind whatever be used as focd therein, and in case of refusal of this condition, to the London Vegetarian Society. Besides other legacies for the benefit of animals, she left the residue of her estate to the London Vegetarian Society and the Theosophical Society. Part of the funds over which she had power of appointment goes to the magistrate at Bow-street for needy persons appearing before the various Metropolitan Police-courts.

ARTISTS CAUGHT NAPPING. Inadvertence or want of knowledge is re- sponsible for some odd mistakes in pictorial art. The illustration to a certain story, the scene of which was laid in the reign of George IV., depicted, for instance, the characters in the costumes of to-day. As a rule, however, the divergence from fact ia not so marked. There is a well-known (ld- vertising picture representing a scene in Switzerland, with a cow in the foreground. VThe tunitiated see nothing amiss in it. but a cattle breeder is struck by the fact that the cow is one that flourishes only in G:eat Britain. Another picture, representing a wreck, shows the ship driven on to the rocks by a wind that is obviously blowing from the land. Again, in a historical picture, in which fruit was introduced, a critical gar- dener observed apples of a kind which were not produced until centuries after the period represented.

BOW STREET POLICE COURT. I Time was when Bow-street, London W.C., was a favourite haunt of the Restora- tion Beau, with his flowing wig, his silks and laces, fancy cane and snuff-box; and although it has long fallen from this high social estate, it is still more famous to-day, from the police court which has made its name known the wide world over. The first Bow-street Police Office was estab- lished in 1749 (says a contemporary), and from that time its fame has grown until to- day it is without a rival among the police courts of the world. Bow-street for half-a- dozen generations has been the scene of many of the most sensational human dramas ever seen on any stage. From the times of highwaymen and pirates there have been few criminals of note who have not passed through Bow-street on their way to the gallows. In the long procession we see such "Knights of the Road" as James Maclean, the "gentleman highwayman" and "Gal- loping Dick Ferguson pass before us gay and defiant to the last; "kings" of fraud like "Jim, the Penman," Robson, Redpath and Fauntleroy; murderers like Neil Cream and Prince, the madman who so foully slew William Terriss, the idol of the theatre- goers; burglars, forgers, coiners, jewel- robbers—in short, many of the most noto- rious criminals England has known. But Bow-street is not only the punisher of crime; it is a great reforming agency. The three magistrates who preside over it are humane men who have tender hearts for the weak and erring; and who, when a prisoner has paid his penalty, do their utmost to put him once more on the path of clean and honourable living. Excellent work, too, is done by the Court missionaries, who devote their lives to the care of discharged pri- soners and the families of men who are serving sentences.

At St. Mary's Church, Bathwick, 13ath. a young woman suddenly appeared to lose her senses, and violently attacked two ladies in the same pew. She was pinioned and re- moved shrieking. A. meeting of chemists held at the Royal Society of Arts resolved to form a London section of the projected British Association of Chemists. It was ucged that some kind of trade union for chemists was necessary.

I PIN AND FANCY. She: "This is the third time you've come home drunk this week!" He: "D-don't be so p-pessimistic, m' dear! You should think of the four nights I came home sober." Elderly Lodger: "How did you sleep last night, Professor?" Professor Larkins (testily) "Lying down, madam. Gia& "Thc, bridegroom looks glum, but the bride's father has a happy face." Wiggj. "I don't wonder. 'Tis more blessed to give than to receive." "Annie," called Mrs. Hiram from the foot of the stairs, "how about breakfast?" "Oh," replied the new servant who had overslept herself, "ye naden't trou b le to bring me anny, I ain't very hungry this mornin' She (after breaking the vish-bone) "What did you wish?" He: "I wished that you would let me kiss you. What did you wish?" She: "I wished that what you wished would come true." Convalescent Visitor (in public gardens, interested in botany): "Do you happen to know to what family that plant belongs?" Old Gardener: "I happens to know it don't belong to no family. That plant belongs to the corporation." Eager Author: "I guarantee that big, strong situation will fill the people with tears." Actor-Manager: "Ye-es—but I'm looking for one that will fill the tiers with people." "So you think you can stand the arduous duties of a cinema actor? You know, in our play we find occasion to throw you down a thirty-foot flight of stairs into a barrel of rain water." "I think I can stand it," said the hungry man. "I was collector in a hire- system furniture establishment for three years." Donald: "What was that fellow doing with his arms about you last night?" Julia: "Oh, nothing." Joe: "I always said he was slow. "The wrist-watch ha3 done much for our trade." "Where is your trade?" It is mainly in Africa. Formerly we couldn't sell a native a watch because he wore no pockets to carry- it in." Gentleman (in restaurant) My darling, I love vou; do vou love me?" Lady: "Yes." Gentleman: Waiter, a minister for two." Mrs. Watts: "Mary Ann, these banisters seem always dirty. I was at Mrs. John- son's to-dav, and her stair-rails are as clean and smooth as glass." Mary Ann: "Yes, mum, she has three small boys." Blinks: "Tha.t friend you introduced me to yesterday seems to be a melancholy sort of chap. What's the matter with him?" Jenks: "Disappointment in love, I believe." Blinks: "Another case of 'loved and lost,' eh?" Jenks: "Oh, no! He loved and won." Company Sergeant who has lost patience with au awkward recruit Never ap- proach the horses from behind without speaking." he exclaimed. "If you do they'll kick you in that thick head of yours, and tie end of it will be that we shall have nothing but lame horses in the squadron." "Pa, I'll be sorry when you get weli," said a little boy to his parent. Why, my son?" "Because I won't get any more empty medicine bottles to sell. I sell them for a halfpenny apiece to the chemist." A small boy was delighted one day when a slight fire in. his father's house brought the firemen and the engine. "I say," he exclaimed tc the first fireman he met, "I say, if there should be a big fire here and you want to save things, please don't save my new vests, for they tickle me." Wife (leaving for the town with a basket on her arm): "An dac ye think, John, that I've minded everything I'm to get when in the toon?" John: "Ye micht mind to bring me in half an ounce of snuff," i no, John," replied his better half. "The times are too hard for sic extrava- gance. Ye maun just tickle yer nose wi' a strae." "Prisoner," said the judge, "you say your wife hit you on the head with a p ate- Is that so?" "Yes, sor," answered the pri- -onc,r, who rejoiced in the name of Mul- ligan, and who had his Irish nationality written largely on his features. "But," said the judge, "your head doesn't show marks of any kind." "No, sor," answered Mr. Mulligan, with a touch of pride, "but ye should ha' seen that plate." "I say," said the office-boy to the cashier, "I think the guv'nor ought to give me a half-crown extra this week, but I suppose he won't." "What for?" asked the cashier. "For overtime. I wviz dreamin' about my work all last night." The young subaltern, who was the son of a general, and never omitted to rub in that fact, was taking a message from the general to the gunners. "If you pWse," he said to ?hc major, "father says wi!l y&u move your ,,Ilc mij(?,?,b e major was in an irate mood. "Oh!" he rejoined, "and what the deuce does your mother say?" I "For ten years," said the new boarder, "my habits were as regular as clockwork. I rex-'(' on the stroke at six, and half an hour later was at breakfast at seven I was at -work dined at one; had supper at six, and was in bed at nine-thirty. Ate only plain food, and hadn't a day's illness all the time. "Dear me!" said a hearer, in Syinpatlictic tones; "and what were you infor?

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CLUB WINDOW. .— -0 — Sir John Jellicoe, in his early schooldays at Rottingdean, was swayed b- two ambi- tions—to roam the seas as a bold buccaneer, and to play Robinson Crusoe on some, remote Pacific island. # Colonel Henry L. Cousins, of the Ameri- can Secret Service Department, said in reference to a German plot he was investi- gating; "Why, even the defence of these fellows is suspicious; it made me think of a young woman I used to know. Colonel Cousins,' she said to me one evening, with a glad light in her eyes, I'm sure my hus- band doesn't drink.' Are you sure, nia'am? said I. Yes.' she said; he's only got one bad habit—he's always chcwing Sir George Alexander is fond of telling the following about himself. Someone re- marked at dinner one evening in the pre- sence of a friend of the distinguished actor, that Sir George's» real name is Samson. "What a pity he doesn't use it" said one of the guests. "It's such a frocd name for a player; Samson brought down the house, didn't he?" « Mr. George Grossmith, the actor, tells an amusing story concerning the time when he was performing with his father. It appears that they were due to give a show at a cer- tain town at eight o'clock one evening, but owing to train delay they did not reach their destination until twenty minutes past that hour. "We dressed in the cab," pa?t marked George, "which flew along like a fire-engine. Suddenly we espied a building all lighted up and a large crowd coming out. Go back, go back shouted my father to the people as he thrust his head out of the el b. Go back! It's all right! The Grossmiths are here. We have arrived. Go back!' Unfortunately, however, it was not our audience but a congregation leaving a Methodist chapel after service." It is doubtful if any man has been called more names—complimentary and the reverse —than ex-President Roosevelt (says a con- temporary). During an election, a friend of his drew up an amusing list of the unkind titles that had been, hurled at him. The list included: "Galvanic Battery/' "Vol- canic Eruption," "Apostle of Tumult," "Theodore Yea and Nay," "Maker of Brag- gart Threats," "Instigator of Panic," and "Possessor of Shaggy Manners. Mean- while, Bishop Warren introduced him to a meeting as the "Gift-of-God Roosevelt." A good story is told concerning Rear- Admiral T. Jackson. It appears that he was dining at the Union Club in Yaletta, when the conversation turned on the Rus- sian crisis, and Jackson took occasion to remark that he didn't at all like the way •things were going in Petrograd. "Oh, well," put in an optimistic fellow-diner, "we must hope for the best, you know. Some- where behind the clouds the sun is shining." Yea," retorted Jackson dryly. "And some- where below the sea there's solid bottom. But what good does that do to the chap who gets submarined?" The Duke of Westminster inherited the title from his grandfather whjje serving on the staff in South Africa, where, amongst other adventures, he hoisted the British flag at Pretoria. 'Dhe Duke was for many years a noted competitor at the Monte Carlo motor-boat races. A splendid shot, and polo- player, he is altogether a great h ustler." By his family and intimate friends the Duke of Westminster is called "Bend Or." He received the nickname on account of the famous horse Bend Or, with which hi3 grandfather won his first Derby in 1880. < Colonel Sir Arthur Lee, M.P., has had a varied career, and for years ha., represented the Fareham Division of Hampshire in Par- liament. He is a confirmed opponent of payment of M.P.'s, and has never himself accepted the Parliamentary salary. A dark- complexioned, handsome man- in the prime of life, Sir Arthur Lee is a great personal friend of ex-President, Roosevelt, who stayed with him in London during his visit to this country a few years ago, and he has a further tie with America by his marriage to an American lady. Lord Treowen, in the early days of the Volunteer movement, was watching some re- cruits at their first musketry course taking lessons in firing. One man was a pretty hopeless case. After repeatedly failing to hit the target at 300 yards, the instructor tried him at 200, with the same result. He then decided to try him at 100 yards, but the re- sults were even worse than before. At length, losing all patience, the instructor exclaimed in disgust: "Fix your bayonet, and go and stab the blooming thing; it's your only chance." "Yes," sadly remarked Sir Ivor, who was standing by, "I'm afraid it is." Admiral H. L. Heath tells a good story about a famous art connoisseur who once sat next to a rather illiterate alderman at a public banquet. In the course of conversa- tion the alderman mentioned that his grand- father had known the great Napoleon. In- deed," said the other. "That's very interest- ing." "Yea," the alderman went on. "And I still have the fine snuffbox that Napoleon gave him. It has a hen in diamonds on the lid.' A hen!" exclaimed the other. "Oh, I see! You probably mean an eagle--tbe Im- perial eagle?" "No," insisted the alderman. "It's a hen plain enough. I've got it with me. Ù>ok!" and he pulled from his pocket a splendid gold box with an "N" in bril- liants on the lid. Major Mackenzie Rogan, the famous bandmaster, tells a good story concerning a riding-master who, taking his usual morn- ing stroll around the exercise ground, saw a newlv-joined recruit endeavouring to per- suade his horse to jump a fence. He watched him for some time, then went up to him. "Look here, my man," he said, "how do you expect that horse to go when you've only got one spur on?" "Well, sir," replied the recruit, gazing thoughtfully at his boots, "if I can only get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to keep up with him!' • • • Mr. John Ilassall, the artist, is very un- conventional in his methods, and says that he shudders to think what would happen if some of his friends knew how he got certain effects. If he thinks burning will help him to get the right shade of brown, he drops his brush and uses the red-hot poker, whilst once, when he found difficulty in getting the dirty grey he wanted, he used a little damp earth from the garden with very 6atisfactory results. < M. Paderewski, when he is in the mood for composition, is one of the hardest of workers. Sometimes this will not come for months at a time, buf when it does come he writes music as quickly as one would write a letter. Afterwards he will go over what he has composed on the piano. Then he will put it away, and after a whjis take it up and go over it again. He polishes and re- touches evervthing he composes three or four times, and never lets anything go until he is satisfied with it. General Wevgand, the famous French soldier, is noW for his tact and breeding, and a naturally kind and generous disposi- tion leads him to display these qualities to the best, advantage. On one occasion, shortly before the war, he was being es- corted through a picture-gallery by an artist who fancied himself not a little, when he saw a picture which was so ugly that he thought himself safe in criticising it. To his utter dismay he found that his escort was the painter of the picture. With ready tact he turned to the mortified artist and said, "You know it is customary for a buyer to run down the thing he has set his heart on; I want that picture myself." The General was as good as his word, for he purchased the picture the next day.

i SAINT BRIDE. I St. Bride, patroness of Ireland and Fleet- street, London, E.C., was the daughter of an Irish bard. Bridget, that was her name, found wide fame through the activities of the early Irish missionaries, who founded churches in her honour all over the Conti- nent. The spire of her church in Fleet- street is said to have been suggested tc Wren by his gifted daughter, who died is ber twenty-fifth year.

THINGS THOUGfiIFUL í A DUTY. Let us feave the world wi.s>er and Letter than we found it, and we shall leave it happier. -Shuttle -,vort li. I LOVE A\D KINDNESS. Life is short, and we never have too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind.-Amicl. ————————— B E T Y. Has the pearl less whiteness Because of its birth ? Has the violet less brightness For growing near earth? —Thomas Moore. HATRED AND LOVE. Shouldst thou feel thy heart repeljpd from men through hatred, do them good. Then shall thy love for them revive in thee. -Paoli. DEFINITIONS OX DOOM.A. Doctrine crystallised.—H. R. Haweis. A more or less artificial form, which has been given to the truth by a particular age, according to its ruling conception of the world.—Rev. Jas. Chapman. Dogmatism.—The dogmatic procedure of pure reason, without previous criticism of its own powers.—Kant. Puppyism come to its full growth.—Anon. Christian Dogma.—A living reproduction of belief from the soul of the believer.— Tweston. WILL GO ITS WAY. Humanity will go its destined way what- ever happens to creeds, and churches, and relio,ious.-P,. B. Nicholson. CO-OPERATION. We are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth.—Marcus Aurelius. THE HOME ATMOSPHERE. And oh, the atmosphere of home how bright It floats around us when we fit together. Under a bower of vine in summer weather. Or round the hearthstone on a winter's night. —Park Benjamin. A THANKFUL SPIRIT. Could you work miracles, you could not do more for yourself than by a thankful spirit; for it heals with a word spoken. and turns all that it touches into happiness. —Law. GOD'S GIFT. We are not here to play, to dream, to drift, We have hard work to do and loads to lift. Shun not the struggle, face it- 'tis God's gift. —Thomas Stuart Keene UPWARD OR DOWNWARD It is for us to chose whether we will have for our companions the poets like Shakespeare and Milton, Wcr-clsworth, and Tennyson, who reveal human nature in the light of Mut-y and courage and hope, or the writers who flatter sensual passion and darken spiritual faith. The choice deter- mines our destiny. Our intellectual nature is like the chameleon; it takes colour from that on which it feeds. Tell me what music you love, what dramas are your favourites, what books you read when you are alone, and I will tell you which wav you are moving, upward or downward.—lienry van Dyke MORNING PRAYER. The morning prayer insures strength within and guardianship without frr all the day. CONTENTMENT. The world's betterment would be hastened if humanity would form the habit of being a* enthusiastic over conditions that make for contentment as it is vociferous over real or fancied grievances. BETTER. "The world is mine," said the millionaire. "Come, show me the things that I cannob buy, For the god of the world is a god of gold. I have gold, gold, gold—and a god am I' I-Tbe world is mine," cried the eager youth. Though never a penny of wealth have I' All doors stand wide and all roads are free. I have youth, youth, youth—and you cannot buy:" THE GREATEST GLORY. The greatest glory ot a iree-Dorn people is to transmit that freedom to their child- ren.—Havard. IMAGINARY EVILS. I am more afraid of my friends making them Fc-l vt's uncomfortable: who have only imaginary evils to indulge that I am for the peace of those who, battling magnanimously with real inconvenience and danger, find a remedy in the very force of the exertions to which their lot compels them.—W alter Scott. SINNING. It is a beautiful and blessed world we live in, and whilst that life lasts, to lose the en- joyment of it is a sin. A FRIE N- D'S GIFT. Loving and loved and delicate and lowly. Rich in all blessings, that thy God can send, Take yet a gift-the simple and the holy Gift' of the faith and honour of a friend. —Myers. I PERSONAL LIBERTY. True personal liberty consists in tuo p ivi- I lege of enjoying our own rights so as not to destroy the rights of others. I A USEFUL DESTINY. The treasure of the world is mankind. Ita most precious jewels arc happy and prosperous lives. The man who by precept, example, and willing service is able to leave the world a little better than he found it. is the only man who can truly claim to have fulfilleda useful destiny. If we coukt im- press this fact upon our national conscious- nesss, if we could inspire our manhood with. this high ideal, if we could, in the year of grace, 1918, gr'as t the elements of the 60cial relationship which the wisest man and the greatest teacher proclaimed nearly two thousand years ago, we should find our most momentous problems and our most menacing difficulties pale into comparative 'insignifi- cance.—Alexander Ramsay. I STEER STRAIGHT. What we need is not a new compass every year, but a new determination to steer straight by the old compass, which is the word of God in Christ.—Henry Van Dyke, D.D.

HUMAN FACED CRAB. A crab with a human face surprisingly like that of a Japanese warrior in the "old, unhappy, far-off days of the past," is one of the oddities to be found in Japanese waters. This face is formed by the strange figuration of the crab's back. According to Japanese history, the nation was beset by a plagfue of piracy a few centuries ago. Thee. thg, People organised a fleet and set out to ejeterminate the maurading pirates. It is said that not long after the battle of vic- tory the first of the crabs appeared, With advancing years the crabs increased in num- bers. Not only do they bear the face of amerce old warrior, but it is strangely like that of a man who had been drowned. The saperstitioae among the natives say that the acfets of the pirates entered into the form of crabs..