Abergavenny Chronicle

I HUMOUR OF THE WEEK. I ? I THE BLACK KILT. I One of the wittiest of our Bishops (says Mr. Gossip, of the "Daily Sketch") told me the other day that he was walking down a street of a town where some Scots troops had been billeted, and overheard two small boys discussing him. They decided that he was "a Gordon Highlander going to a funeral." dt SOME" EXPLOSIVE. I The American inventor who has discovered an explosive, "fifty grains of which will blow up the largest skyscraper," 'should try the effect of adding a grain of salt (says the "Star"). I HIS BIRTHPLACE. I The recruit was both sulky and stupid, and strongly resented the inquisitorial char- acter of the questions put to him. At last (says the "Chronicle") the sergeant turned to him and sternly said, "Look here, young fellow, you've got to give a straight answer to questions put to yer. Now, then, where were you born ?" Then ctme the answer slowly, as if the information imparted were jrrudged, "London—right hand side, going in." I SEEMS REASON ABLE. I Scientists claim that a woman's mind is apt to wear out sooner than a man's. Con- I stant change, of course, wears almost any- thing out. I "A MAN" WANTED. I "What we need, what the whole world needs," says the "Berliner Tageblatt," "is a man to speak out and end the terrible war." Why on earth did not somebody think of this before? TRUTH WILL OUT. I I From an unusually candid German com- munique "We are now lying on the I northern slope of this hill." I THE FIRST FRUITS. I An Oxford agriculturist writes to a con- temporary pointing out that it is possible to get a ton of vegetables out of a ten-rod allotment. Only yesterday, however (says "Cassell's Saturday Journal"), a man at Highgate got twenty-seven lettuce plants out of a neighbour's allotment and also fourteen days in prison. There seems to be no end to the things one can ge< out of alb allotment. WISDOM OF THE HEATHEN. I "It says here: 'One of the idols most revered by any heathen is a figure of a woman, seated, resting her chin in her hands, said Mrs. Smith, reading from a book. "Which proves they are about the wisest people on earth," suggested her husband. "How's that, Joshua?" "Well," said Mr. Smith, with distinct emphasis, "simply because they make a deity of a woman who has sense enough to give her chin a rest." THE DIFFERENCE. I The Swedish drill instructor was putting the recruits through it. The young ones seemed to get on all right. But one or two of the older men seemed to find it a little strenuous. At last one told the instructor that he was too old for that sort of practice. "How old are you?" "Forty-one next month," was the reply. "Why!" exclaimed the instructor, "the Romans used to do this sort of exercise at the age of sixty ■ "Perhaps they did," said the perspiring private. "But I'm not a Roman. I'm a fVesleyan." THE BUST SUB. I How doth the little German sub I Improve each shining day I By mking every unarmed tub I That dares to come her way. How brave the crew, they launch their torp And while the wreckage tosses, They hasten back to Kaiser Bill To get their Iron Crosses.-upuck.- —— 0-- PICKINGS FROM "PUNCH." According to officials of the Food Ministry, H domestic pastry may still be baked. The idea is that this kind of pastry tends to decrease the total number of food Consumers. Allied control officers have discovered fif- teen hundred tons of potatoes hidden in Athens. The Salonica expedition is now felt to be justified. "The British loaf," according to Mr. Kennedy Jones, "is going to beat the Ger- mans." If grit can do it, we agree. Now that the shortage of starch supplies will compel men to wear soft collars, it is understood that. Mr. George Bernard Shaw, who already wears them soft proposes to give up collars altogether so as not to be mistaken for an ordinary man. PROFESSIONAL CANDOUB, From a dentist's advertisement: "Teeth Extracted with the Greatest Pains.* COMMERCIAL CANDOUB. I From an Indian trade-circular: "All OUT goods are guaranteed made of the best material and equal to none in the market." "The approach of the storm was heralded by a magnificent display of, for a time, almost intermittent lightning."—"Pall Mall Gazette." Followed, it may be presumed, by well- night interrupted peals of thunder and nearly occasional downpours of rain. QUIPS FORM "LONDON OPINION." I "All the world a a stage." And people in search of sugar and potatoes are anxious not to misa their queues. A rural magistrate has been fined £ 100 for giving his poultry corn. He might have pleaded he was only trying to ensure full crops. A Russian detachment, surrounded on the Caucasian Front by Kurds, has cut its way through. Remarking, very likely, that where there's a curd there's a whey. Haiti, the latest country to break with Germany, is described as "a little Paradise." Our Paradise Ally At Bath War Hospital a hen enters one of the wards daily and lays an egg in a soldier's locker. He is suffering from shell- shock. An alleged inebriate run in the other day WHS given the old worn test of "truly rural." Isn't it time for something more up to date? What about "Sugar shortage shocks shops"? One argument in favour of an early start on the Channel Tunnel appears to have been overlooked. By avoiding sea voyages wo should bo able to "keep down our food rations.

Expressing the view that doctors' medi- cines were "tommy rot," George Kenniug, sixty-six, of Hackney, took some chloroform to relieve pain from which he suffered, and this caused his death, a verdict of misad- venture being returned at the inquest. A pheasant killed at Weston, near Sid- mouth, South Devon, had in its crop 1,343 grains of barley. Mosquitoes have probably played a bigger part in the history of the world thai, any other organism except man, said a lec- turer at the Institute of Public Health, London.

OTHER MEN'S MINDS. 1 The nation's motto must henceforward be "Eat to live," and not "Live to eat.Mu. PARKER, M.P. NO ADMITTANCE. I No German missionary should be allowed for a long period of years to enter British possessions.—DR. OGILVIE. IF. I If everybody in the community does his duty the submarine is not going to defeat I us.-Mn. LLOYD GEORGE. I THE SUBMARINE PEST. I am convinced that the submarine will shortly be reduced to the category of a minor pest.-MR. KENNEDY JONES. I "THE OLD IDEALS." I I find there is still a remnant of the feel- ing that we can get back to what some people are pleased to call "the old ideals of our party." God help us if we do.—SIB EDWARD CARSON. I A POLITICIAN'S LIFE. I The life of a politician, especially the life I of an Irish politician, is one long series of postponements and compromises, disappoint- ments, and diBillusions.-MB.. JOHN RED- I MOND. I DISANNEXATIONS. I Tho liberation of Armenia, the Trentino, and Alsace-Lorraine involves not annexa- tions but disannexations.—M. YANDER- VELDE. I I SHIPOWNERS' PROFITS. I I Since the war began, shipowners have made the whole cost of their capital, and that after paying the excess profits tax.— MR. BONAR LAW. I SHOULD A WIFE TELL? I The Ballot Act will be none the less desirable when it is proposed to allow both husband and wife to vote at the same elec- tion.-SIR GEORGE CAVE. THE SECRET OF GOOD EDUCATION. I You will never get education good until I the education rate becomes the most popular rate in the country. dR. HERBERT FISHER. I f I MACHINERY ON THE FARM. I Machinery is the thing of the future, and our fields must be planned so as to be adapt- able to its use. The farm labourer of tho futuro will have to be more or less a mechanic, and every boy and girl in our schools should be taught how to take a nut off and put it on acraixi.-MR. B. HOWKINS. A GERMAN TRIUMPH. I Anything resembling the triumph of Ger- many will be the triumph of the worst things in Germany.-MR. G. K. CHESTER- TON. f THE BEST MUSIC. I Probably before the last half century or so the world never really heard music at its best at all.-Mp.. ERNEST NEWMAN. I DISILLUSION. I When I was young we used to flatter our- selves that progress inevitably meant peace, and that growth of knowledge was always accompanied as its natural fruit by the growth of goodwill among the nations of the earth. Unhappily we know better now. We know that there is such a thing in the world as a Power which can with unvarying persistence foeut3 all the resources of know- ledge and of civilisation into the one great task of making itself the moral and material master of the. world.-Mu. BAT, OUIL. I OUR POETS. I Up to the end of the seventeenth century our poets were more concerned with the breaking of hearts than the cracking of skulls.—LORD CREWE. I DEFECTIVE CHILDREN. I There are a million children in the elementary schools unable to profit by educa- tion owing to physical defects.-MR. H. A. L. FISHER. I CHRISTIANITY IN ARITHMETIC. I Religion is caught, not taught. The schoolmaster who is a religious man will un- consciously put some Christianity even into an arithmetic lesson; if he is not he will im- part no more religion from Bible teaching than if he were lecturing on the Arabian Nights.—DEAN INGE. I THE WAR AFTER THE WAR. I Our enemies will no sooner have sheathed the sword than they will draw the pen, and will try to retrieve in the field of industry, commerce, and business the defeat which they will suffer in the field of battle.-MR. WALTER LONG. THE BRITISH "SYSTEM OF STATES." I Germany is an empire, so was Rome, and so is India, but we are a system of nations, 46 community of States and of nations far greater than any empire which has ever existed; and by using' this ancient expres- sion we really obscure the real fact that we are larger and that our whole position is difIernt, and that we are not one nation, or state, or empire, but we are a whole world by ourselves, consisting of many nations and states, and all sorts of commu- nities under one flag. We are a system of states, not only a static system, a stationary system, but a dynamic system, growing, evolving all the time towards new destinies. —GENERAL SMUTS. PRESERVING HORSE-BREEDING. c c.' In these days of motors, two things only were preserving the horse-breeding industry I -racing and fox hunting. VISCOUNT NOT NECESSARY. It is not in the least necessary to love a person in your employment. No one is called upon to love his shoemaker or even his solicitor.—LORD NEWTON. I CONTROL OF SHIPPING. The shipping trade, like the railways, is something on which the life of this country depends, and obviously ought to be under the control of the Government in times such as thecx-Mia. BONAR LAW. J TO BEAT THE SUBMARINES. < The only way to beat the submarine is to place on the water as many destroyers and small craft as we possibly can muster.- LORD BERESFORD. I JUSTICE FOR LABOUR. I Labour never again will be satisfied, nor ought it to be satisfied, to be in the condi- tion that it was before the war. Labour in the numbers of men it has sent out is laying J the foundations of our future progress, and maintaining our present liberty, and Labour ( must have, I will not say its award, but it I must have its fair share in the body politic. -SIB, EDWARD CARSON.

For sixty years an inmate of the Royal 'I Hospital for Incurables, Putney Heath. Miss Sarah Stanford has died at the age of eighty-seven. Albert Orris, of Seven Sisters-road, was at Tottenham Police-court fined £ 25 and his v.'ife < £ 5 for selling milk containing fifteen parts of added water. I

Mangled clothes take half the tune tAt iron. To preserve linoleum it should bte waxed and polished in the same way as stained boards. The labour of "wiping up" can be mini- mised by rinsing plates and dishes in cold water pAd draining in a rack. Basins in which anything made with flour has been mixed should be put to soak in cold water. If you want cake to keep moist, place a perfectly sound apple in the cake-tin. The apple should be renewed as soon as it shows any signs of withering. If rubber rollers of a wringing-machino become sticky, as is often the case after ,wringing flannels, rub them with a rag moistened with paraffin, wipe dry, and they will be equal to new. Permanganate of potash is an excellent, cheap disinfectant. Dissolve one ounce in a quart of boiling water, and pour a little down every drain once a week if you want to keep the house sweet. To wash dishcloths without soap, pour boiling water on a bag of bran, strain, and add to the water equal parts of powdered alum and powdered chalk. Boil the soiled dishcloths in this, then rinse well and dry. They will be beautifully clean and fresh. HOME-MADB FURNITURE POLISH. Mix together two parts methylated spirit; tW) parts vinegar, and one part of linseed oil. Bottle, shako well before using. Appty with a clean soft cloth, rubbing in a circular direction. WHEN PACKING GLASS. When packing glass or china, use straw that has been slightly dampened. The water causes both of these materials to swell, and this swelling automatically fills up the crevices, thus wedging the packing in between breakable articles much tighter than it can be done by hand. This is the method employed by professional packers. AN EFFECTIVE MARBLE CLEANSEB. Many methods only injure the marble and do not produce the desired result. Try this: Six ounces of washing soda, three ounces of precipitated whitening, and three ounces of pumice-stone. Crush and mix in boiling water to the consistency of cream. Use a brush to apply and allow to dry on, then wash off with warm water and polish in the usual way. REPAIRING BoTa* KNICKERS. Nearly every mother knows how often the lads' clothes need repair. Zig-zag rents aro very common, for boys will climb, and rents are frequent. The best way to mend the fracture is to button-hole it all round, and then catch up the stitches in the middle. If the material ravels, stitch round the edges of the tear with your machine, then button- hole and darn. If silk of the same colour be used to mend, the torn place will hardly be noticed. To RENOVATE PICTUBE-FBAMES. It is an excellent plan to enamel old gilt picture-frames which have become very shabby but are quite sound. Either do them in a colour to match the paintwork in the room in which they are hung, or else a shade in keeping with the pictures they contain. On the other hand, such colours as dark green, dark brown, black, or white will suit almost anything. I THE1 INSIDB ov WINDOWS. Many people do not realise that the in- eides of windows catch more dirt than the outsides. Rub them over every day with a clean cloth, and you will find that they will not require washing nearly so often. Win- dows can be cleaned quite perfectly and quickly by the use of a chamois leather and cold water. The glass should be wetted and then thoroughly rinsed, using the leather rather wet. When all dirt is re- moved, the leather should be squeezed as dry as possible, and used for drying the win- dow, which it will do so perfectly that there will be no need to polish it with a duster. There is one little precaution needed to en- sure perfect success, and that is that the leather must be washed out in clean water after each time of use. I SOME USEFUL RECIPES. FIG SPONGB.-Take a quarter of a pound of suet, a quarter of a pound of bread- crumbs, a quarter of a pound of sugar, a quarter of a pound of figs, a quarter of a pound of flour, one teacupful of syrup, ono teaspoonful of baking powder, and a little warm milk. Chop the suet and figs. and mix with the crumbs, sugar, and flour. Then stir in the syrup and milk, and lastly the baking-powder. Turn into a basin and steam for three hours. BAKED BREAD AND JAM PUDDING.—Take sufficient stale breadcrumbs to half fill a piedish. Put them into a basin, and pour over them sufficient milk to eoak up all the bread. Beat up one egg and whisk it into the crumbs. Grease a piedish, and put in a layer of jam, pour the soaked breadcrumbs on the top, scatter a few dabs of margarine on the top, and bake in the oven till brown. A CHEAP BEEFSTEAK -Piz.-Try a beef- steak pie made in this way next time you have one for dinner. Get a small quantity of beef and kidney, and with it mix cubes of any kind of vegetables. It may be an I onion, carrot, or potato. It is a splendid way of using up left-over vegetables. Be sure to put a little stock or gravy in the pie ae the vegetables absorb a good deal of moisture. FARMERS' PUDDING.—Heat a quart of milk to boiling point, then stir in slowly a cup of Indian meal. Pare and slice six apples and mix with the meal, add two tablespoonfuls of sugar, a little allspice, and a grating of nutmeg. Put all into a deep dish, and bake for forty minutes. Thik makes an excellent pudding for children when meat ia scarce. ONIONS SCALLOPED.—Peel and slioe thinly four large mild onions. Well grease a pie- dish, coat with breadcrumbs, then put in a layer of onion, sprinkle with pepper and salt and a little finely chopped parsley, and add a few bits of margarine. Repeat these layers until the ingredients are used up, pour over a teacupful of milk, cover the top with breadcrumbs, dot a few bits of mar- garine on top and bake for about ii hours in a moderate oven. Send to table in the same dish, with fingers of toaat spread with grated cheese, and made very hot. FIVE MINUTES PUDDING.-For this you will require two ounces of flour, two ounces of sugar, a teaspoonful of baking powder, two eggs, any kind of jam. Beat all together but the jam. Bake in a buttered baking tin for six minutes in a hot oven. Take up, spread some jam over, roll up while hot, and serve at once. TREACLE PUDDING.—Mix together four ounces of flour, half a teasponful of ground .ger, a quarter of a teasponful of car- Bonate of soda, and a pinch of salt. Stir together, then add two ounces of finely grated suet. Pour in half a teacupful of treacle and sufficient milk to mix to proper consistency, then pour into greased mould. and steam for one and a half hours. Servo with treacle sauce.

Berlin announces that through trains aro now running between Bukharcst and Con- stantinople by way of Sofia, and also to Nish and Belgrade: Among the cadets gazetted temporary second lieutenants (on probation), R.F.C general list, are Viscount Esme, Morton do Fleury and Prince Constantine George Lmeretinaky.

 Mrs. Cropper, a farmer's wife, was at I I Ormklrk, Lancs, Rn?d ?15, and John I I Cropper, her son, ?10, for eeHicg potatoes over the maximum price.

DRESS OF THE DAY. I A DAINTY SUMMER FROCK. Many of the very prettiest new frocks shown for summer wear are carried out in nothing more expensive than, cotton voile, cotton crepe, or cotton Georgette. In spite of the steady rise in coet of nearly all materials, the appalling increase of such as are made of wool, the price of these cotton stuffs is still so reasonable that no woman, however small her dress allowance, need gc%, without a really charming summer frock it only she be willing to m,-ke it herself. Our sketch shows a most delightful design for such a frock, a design that is not only pretty ia itself, but is sufficiently out of the common to give the frock that little dis- tinctive air which we all prize so much. As I saw it, this little dress was carried out in fine white voile, patterned with a bold [Refer to X. 793.] ring spot in jade green. But any other voile or crepo might be chosen for the pur- pose thus, for harder and more serviceable wear, a navy blue or black ground, pat- terned with a white design, would be ad- mirable, whilst for smarter use white grounds patterned in soft fresh colours or pale-hued grounds with white designs would be charming. The little bodice has just a suggestion of the coatee about it. It has a little strap yoke on each shoulder, which is eet in with- narrow beading, and all the full- ness of the bodice is gathered on to these straps. In front the bodice is arranged in cross-over stylo, the fronts crossing only a few inches above the waist-line. A dainty sailor collar of embroidered muslin turns back from the opening. This collar is edged by a wee frill of Valenciennes lace. and the ends are prolonged in front and tapered off until they reach the waist. In- side the opening comes a pretty little vest of finely-tucked white muslin, which, like the bodice, is arranged in cross-over style. The sleeves are rather full, and are at their widest just above the waist, where they are ornamented by four minute frills of the material, set with the loose edge upwards. These ale?ev" are set into the bodiA by the narrow beading, and are gathered at the wrist, where they are finished by turn-bae n cuffs that match the collar. A belt of ja*§s I green silk fastens at the side beneath a bow, and a point of the bodice is pulled through this belt in front. Small frilly basques finish tho bodice at the sides and back. The skirt is full and is gathered all round the waist. Its only trimming is five little frills, like those on the sleeves, which run round the skirt just IxJow the hips. A PLAY OVERALL. Our illustration below shows a useful design for a play-overaU. The pattern may be used for either boy or girl, and can be made at home from simple materials. Tan [Refer to X. 794.] or brown gabardine makes up splendidly for hard wear. Allow If yards of 36in. material for a child of two to four years, but 11 yards for a child of four to six. If you have an odd half yard of figured or Checked material lying by you, cut cross- way bands from this and utilise as trim- ming fM* neck, sleeves, and belt. By pierc- ing these together you can practice an eomy. LACE TO BE WORN. I Lace is very much used in many of thfl new summer dresses, especially thtee tliat have a French origin. The favourite lace* aire Chantilly, Irish crochet, Venetian point —all these, of course, are imitation varieties in nine cases out of ten-filet, and all laces of a delicate cobwebby type. NEW BELTS. I The belt, or girdle, continues to be one of the important features of the modish gown. A great many of the new belts are not made for any one dress in particular. but are designed in such a way that they seem to go with everything. They are made of all sorts of materials, such as veWet. ribbon suede, crepe, satin, and even nen. but are always finished by a buckle, a tassel, or a fringe. Paper patterns can be supplied, ptíëfe 6Jd. When ordering, please quote number, en. close remittance, and address to Miss fcarie, 8, La Belle Sauvage, London. E.C.

During May seventy-nine certificates of naturalisation were issued—twenty-four of them to the British born widows of Austrians or Germans. The Prince of Wales' Fund has now reached a total of £ 6,; 95,514. Of this sum £ 3,608,015 has been allocated to date for distribution for relief.

Fines of X50 each were imposed at Old- street Police-court on Solomon Dubchansky and Lewis Strovitsky for attempting to bribe the chief medical olerk at Shoreditch Recruiting Depot to get Dubchansky placed in a lower category than Al, in which he had been put by a -Medical Board.

I CUE LONDON LETTER. I -0 0 [F rom Our Special Correspondent. J Hyde Park has never known a more won- derful afternoon than that of the great In- vestiture, when three hundred and fifty heroes of the war on land and sea were publicly decorated by the King with the honours so gallantly earned. There was a vast crowd of onlookers, and those among them with the least gift of imagination must have had for a couple of hours a vision of this world-wide war such as nothing else could have given them, as the soldiers and sailors stepped on tho dais one after another to receive their honours. The deeds of valour thus recognised, were performed in France, in Mesopotamia, in the North Sea: in every pJae where in these days the best and bravest of the race are fighting. It was truly a heart-stirring spectacle for a June Saturday afternoon in London. A particu- larly hearty reception was given to Captains Evans aud Peck, the heroes of the Broke and fiwift, the story of whose tremendous five minutes with the enemy destroyers in the Channel will be told in the history books for all time. The most touching feature of the afternoon came at the close, when the honours won by heroes who have fallen were handed to their relatives. It was a memor- able afternoon. Sixty years have gone by since an Inves- titure took place on anything approaching the scale of this. It was in Hyde Park on a June morning, in 1857, that Queen Vic- toria made the first distribution of the Vic- toria Cross, which had been Instituted in the previous year. The Cross was received on that occasion by sixty-two heroes of the Crimea of all ranks. Her Majesty wps on horseback, and contemporary accounts say that her red jacket was crossed with "the sash of a field-marshal." As the names were called, her Majesty bent down from her horse and pinned the cross on each man's breast. There were many thousands of people in the Park, but a contrast with present-day conditions is to be noted in the fact that the people sixty years ago were kept far away from the Royal enclosure. The Birthday Honours List is one of the longest on record. There are fewer new peers than in some previous lists, but the etring of baronets and knights is excep- tionally long. There are twenty-five of the former, probably a larger number than has been created at one time since King James I. conceived the idea of creating an here- ditary order a little lower than the peerage in order to raise money for his chronically impoverished exchequer. The new knights number forty-six. Lord Devonport receives a step in the peerage and becomes a vis- count, which will no doubt be some com- pensation for the worry and the work he has had during his few months as Food Controller. Interesting names among the new privy councillors are those of Mr. J. H. Thomas, the organising secretary of the railwayman, and Mr. Thomas Ashton, secre- tary of the Miners' Federation. There are now quite a number of representatives of Labour in the Privy Council. Some well- known names appear amongst the knights. Mr. William Watson represents literature, Mr. Hamo Thornycroft, R.A., art, and Mr. John Foster Frasor, Alderman C. W. Starmer, and Mr. A. F. Bobbins journa- lism. A new K.C.B. is Mr. David Shackle- ton, Permanent Secretary to the Ministry of Labour. lie will be Sir David now, but I have no doubt that they will still call him plain David down Clitheroo way. It is not in the nature of things that a Food Controller should be popular, and cer- tainly Lord Devonport, who has now re- signed ;he office, has not succeeded in estab- lishing himself securely in the affections of the people. When he was appointed last December the appointment was hailed with a general chorus of approval. Lord Devon- port had been extremely successful in busi- ness he knew all there was to be known abqut food supply and distribution. He seemed to be the very man to undertake the office of Food Controller. Since his ap- pointment, however, he has had little else but unfavourable criticism, and very often unfair criticism. No matter what he did, somebody was sure to blame -him for it; either he had gone too far or he had not gone far enough. It may be that some of his orders were issued without full consider- ation of the conditions, with the result that they afterwards had to bo withdrawn, but what the critics overlooked was that in the matter of food control we had everything to learn, and tl'at often the only way to learn was by experiment. Some of the experi- ments led to good results, while others did not. It seem3 to me quite likely that Lord Devonport has done quite as well as any- body else could have done in an office which even an archangel could not fill to every- body's satisfaction. His successor will start with the advantage of having all the pioneer work done for him. But if he hopes to be beloved of the people he will be disap- pointed. An interesting experiment is being tried by the Rev. F. B. Meyer at his well-known church in Westminster Bridge-road. On every Sunday afternoon this month he has arranged for Mr. John Duxbury, the elocu- I tionist, to recite in the church. Mr. Dux-- bury recites the exact words of Scripture, and his renderings of the Book of Job, the Life of Christ, the Life of St. Paul, the Life of Moses, and other Scripture stories have gained for him a considerable reputation in this country and in America. It cannot be said that the reading of the Scriptures in the churches generally is very impressively done. Frequently the lay man reading the Lessons does it better than the minister, because he reads with care and intelligence, and avoids that monotonous sing-song which makes some reading from the pulpit so pain- ful to listen to. I remember some years ago, when a well-known actor used to read the lessons in a West-End church, it used to be said that more people went to hear the lessons than the sermon. Dr. Meyer's experi- ment in obtaining the services of a profes- sional elocutionist will be watched with in- terest. The stock joke about the infrequency of lad ies' birthdays after a certain age would appear to have some foundation in fact after all.' The new Blue Book of the last Census tells us, at any rate, that the numbers of females in the groups aged from twenty to thirty are disproportionately high, owing to -wilful mis-statement of age. Being in a Blue Book, this, of course, must be true, and may be called as evidence. Thirty, it appears is the age which they don't like. It is worth noting that thirty is the age at which the Electoral Reform Bill proposes that women shall have the Parliamentary vote. One wonders whether the desire to exercise franchise will prove more powerf il than the evident discrimination to have their real age officially recorded. Or will they prefer to be able to reply on election days, when naked if they have voted, "Oh, no. vou know, I'm still in the twenties "? A. E. M.