I MOTHER AND HOME. It has been said that there are none so selfish as those in love. But love does not imakw people so selfish as does grief. Many persons in th. affliction of bereavement not only withdraw from the interests about them, but enfold themselves in such a mantle of misery that they depress all with whom they happen to come into contact. That well-known phrase, "the luxury of woe," aptly expresses the state of many per- sons of this kind. They love to nurse their sorrows, to luxuriate in them, and parade them for the sympathy of their friends. "I remember the case of two young and well- to-do married people who lost an only child" (says an observer of human affairs). "It was a terrible blow, of course, but the bereaved parents took it so much to heart that for months they lived in deep seclusion in the country, refusing to be comforted. Ultimately both came to the verge of nervous collapse, and were compelled to take part once more in the active interests of life, in which they might long before have found solace for their trouble." DON'T "NAG." I It would be a happy thing if every woman would recognise that no household reform has been or ever will be accomplished by irritable nagging. The woman who indulges in it is to be pitied, not only because of the wrong course she is following, but because of the injustice to herself. It is very trying sometimes to have to manage domestic finance on a small income; it is sometimes bewildering to have to think out the best for several growing children; but if such trials were only borne with a little grace and wisdom, both the mother and all who are in a measure dependent upon her influ- ence would be much happier. The day of the average housewife is well peppered with small worries, but continually railing every- one within reach will never lessen them. Most of the daily mishaps are due to mis- management, and the only remedy is to do things another way. WHAT Hon SHOULD BE. Think out any improvements in quiet moments, preferably evening, and tell your plans to the people concerned. There is many a wife and mother completely spoiling the effect of really heroic self-sacrifice by continually jarring upon the very people for whom she is striving; and instead of win- ning love and respect, she is just being borne as something approaching a necessary evil. It is a dreadful thing for a child to have a mother who is always nagging, especially if the child is at all sensitive. A nagging woman spoils every pleasure, and creates an atmosphere of discomfort in what should be a haven of rest—the home. WIVES SHOULD NOTE. Discoursing on the management of hus- bands an old and experienoed matron re- marked: "When a husband is fond of his home, his faults cannot be very serious, and J the wise wife will be very lenient with them. Probably they will amount to no more than a general untidiness and a disposition to smoke in the house. How much better it is to treat these offences indulgently than to undermine his affection for the fireside by .constant fault finding? Smoking has its drawbacks, but it has a soothing effect on the masculine mind-and that is an impor- tant point, far more important than the cleanliness of the window curtains. As for his other faults and failings, these may be cured by wifely influence gently exerted; but be prepared to endure them all rather 11't b P-Par4 seeking his enjoyment outside th k h his home." SENSIBLE GIRLS. I A sensible girl will not be content merely to look pretty. She will realise that, if to rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes she can add a cultured brain, she will be doubly armed. In these twentieth-century days tl-is weapon is easy to procure. Her early education may have been sadly neglected; but, if she has learned to read intelligently, the battle is easy. With the multiplicity of books there is no reason why she should not follow out a course of systematic reading, which will wonderfully develop the dullest understand- ing. If, in addition, she can learn when to talk and when to listen, so much the better. Humanity is easily flattered, and there is no form of flattery so subtle as deference to the words of others. I FOR A CHILD'S PARTY. I Even in these days, when "economy" i. the word most used in connection with the home, a good mother feels that she cannot let Johnny or Maudie go without the usual birthday party, to which all his or her little friends and playmates are invited. The wise mother who gives her child a party will do well to remember that early hours are always best for such entertainments. She will arrange a definite programme for the little ones' amusement, seeing that games follow one another regularly, so keeping her little guests fully amused. For older child- ren a fancy dress dance is always amusing. The dresses need nob be elaborate, and some hostesses insist that they must all be home- made, and only cotton materials used in the fashioning. Postcard parties are often great successes, the hostess providing her guests with packets of postcards of well-known views and objects of interest, the names of which are crossed out. A prize is given to the guest who makes the most correct list of what each view represents. YOUR HAIR IN SPRING. I In spring one's hair is inclined to fall out or become lank and lifeless. Many people do not worry about this, for they say it's natural for the hair to come out in the spring. But it is a great mistake. It is natural, indeed, for the hair always to fall out a little, but when the falling-out is ex- cessive, then it should be checked. The simplest way to do this is to apply every Week or two some strengthening lotion. The one used by the late Sir Erasmus Wilson, the great skin specialist, is as follows: Strong liq. ammon., !oz.; chloroform, ioz.; oil of sesame, !<>z.; oil of lemon, toz.; spirits of rosemary being added up to 4oz. If your hair is inclined to be very greasy, try applying a little bay rum instead. Paraffin well rubbed into the scalp with the tips of the fingers is also effective in some cases. A CHEAP FLOOR COVERING. I An excellent substitute for floor oilcloth is wall-paper, which, besides being consider- ably cheaper, will be found quite as sanitary as oilcloth, if the following instructions are adhered to. The lfoor having been previ- ously scoured, a sheet or two of strong brown paper is pasted with good thick paste to the floor and allowed to dry. When dry, this forms a good foundation for the pat- tern to be later applied, which, of course, is laid uppermost, using paste as previously. The whole now being thoroughly dry, a coat of size is applied and left to set, after which a final coat of good transparent varnish competes the process. This paper floor covering has all the advantages of Teal oil- clotn, and many be washed and polished in the ordinary way. MOVING DAY DON Vs. Don t lorget to advise the gas or electric light company that you are quitting the premises. Don't fail to take candle- with you to the new houae. The gas may not be turned on. Don't forget to order coal for the new address. No fuel means no fir9, and no fire spells discomfort. Don't forget that the windows should be the first consideration; the floors come next; then the beds should be attended to. Don't for- get that it is advisable to have fires in every room in the new house. The rooms may not be damp, but prevention is better than cure. Don't forget that the earlier the van leaves the old house the earlier it will arrive at your new address. The moral is obvious. Don't fail to take matches with you. Nothing is more annoying than to be without them.
Owing to the dearth of carting facilities in Sheffield, Messrs. T. OxleT (Ltd.) have pressed into service two camels and an ele- phant. The animals jog along the streets of the city with loads of many tona weight, doing quite easily the work of eight horses. L_J. m
i I I EAST AFRICA. I GENERAL SMUTS DRIVING THE ENEMY The Secretary to the War Office issued the following further announcement: "Reports have been received from Lieu- tenant-General Smuts to the effect that the mounted troops under Major-General Vande- venter, after their success at Lol Kissale on April 4-5, continued their advance, occupy- ing Unibugwe (Kothersheim) on April 12, and Ssalanga on April 14. At each of these places small hostile garrisons were cap- tured or driven off with losses. "The enemy was encountered in some force near ond.oa Irangi on April 17, and it became evident that a hostile concentra- tion was being effected in that direction. "Fighting was being continued up to the time of telegraphing. "Nothing of importance is recorded in the other theatres in East Africa. The heavy rains have commenced. Excellent progress has been made with the construc- tion of the railway from Voi, which has now been carried forward to New Moshi." On Monday evening the Secretary of the War Office issued the following further an- nouncement "Telegraphing on April 23, Lieutenant. General Smuts reports that the troops under General Vandeventer, after defeating the enemy before Kondoa Irangi on April 19, occupied that place. "Prisoners were taken, and a considerable number of casualties inflicted on the Ger- man forces, whibh retired in the direction I of the Central Railway."
FIGHTING IN EGYPT. I OASIS RETAKEN BY FORCE OF 3,000 II TURKS. The Secretary of the War Office made the following announcement on Monday: The General Officer Commanding-in-Chief in Egypt reports that on April 23rd there was fighting in the Qatia district. Aerial reconnaissance indicated that hostile parties, strength from 200 to 500, had been assembling in the desert, and were in the neighbourhood of Dueidar, and a strong attack by about 500 of the enemy was made at 5 a.m. oil the post held by us at that place. The attack was beaten off after reinforce- ments had been brought up. and the enemy withdrew, leaving thirty prisoners in our hands. Their known casualties amounted to forty killed. The enemy was harassed during his re- treat by a column of Australian troops, acting in concert with airplanes, and suf- fered heavy casualties both from the fire of the troops and from "bombs and machine- gun fire from the airplanes. Qatia village, which was held by a small force of Yeomanry, was attacked, simultane- ously with Dueidar, by a hostile column 3,000 strong with three field guns. After a severe engagement our troops withdrew from the village. The Qatia Oasis was occupied by our troops some time ago. On the 13th Aus- tralian Light Horse made a brilliant raid on a Turkish advanced post at Jif-Jaffa, in the Sinai province, south of the soene of the fighting above recorded.
AMONG THE ICE-FIELDS. In those regions where snow and ice and frightful cold reign eternally, all animals, without exception, must needs be snow-white (says a naturalist). Wherever the world around is uniform in colour and appearance, all the animals, birds, and insects alike necessarily disguise themselves in its pre- vailing tint to escape observation. It does not matter in the least whether they are predatory or inoffensive, the hunters or the hunted: if they are to escape destruction or starvation, as the case may be, they must assume the hue of all the rest of nature about them. Every boy knowl" that the polar bear is white. Why? Because if he were black or brown his prey would instantly detect him among the icefields, and poor I Bruin would, consequently, never get a meal. The Arctic hare must have a white coat, or the Arctic fox would .soon espy him; and that fox himself must also be dressed in white or the hare would see him a mile away. For this reason the ptarmigan and the willow-grouse become as white in winter as the vast snow-fields under which they burrow; the ermine changes his dusky summer coat for the wintry suit of white; the snow-bunting acquires his milk-white plumage, and even the weasel assimilates himself more or less in hue to the unvarying garb of Arctic nature. To be out of the fashion in those regions is quite literally to be out of the world. Strict compliance with the law of winter-change is absolutely neces- sary. All such animals as have not obeyed that law have been killed, or have starved; only the fittest have survived. You could not see a ptarmigan or a snow-bunting until you were almost upon it, so beautifully white id its winter suit. Those birds for ages have successfully defied the hostile attentions of prowling fox or ermine.
IT TERRORISES DIVERS. I The most formidable and repulsive crea- ture of the submarine world is the spider) crab, who is master of the scaled and finned V-ings that live in the ocean's depths. It is alike hideous in appearance and habits, and more than one daring coral hunter and pearl diver has found death in its terrible arms. Thus says a gentleman who knows about such things. The spider crab lfourishes (he adds) and attains its greatest size in the warm waters of the Japan seas, ad an adequate idea of the hideousness of th creature's appearance can only be formed by those who have been unfortu- nate enough to come acrosrt the monster in its lair. Its shape bears a strong resem- blance to the familiar insect that we see in our gardens. The long leys, which often exceed forty feet in length, are thickly covered with coarse black hair. The body, often fifteen feet in circumference, is also covered with hair, in which barnacles and tiny shellfish make their home. When at- tacked, the creature lashes its long hairy arms until the water seethes. Japanese lICar1 divers assert that the touch of the spider-crab is as fatal as the sting of the cobra's fang, but the usual fighting method of the monster is to embrace its enemy, fish or human, with its hairy tentacles, when death by suffocation is the Inevitable end.
MILK IN BLOCKS. I The markets of Irkutsk, in Siberia, are an interesting sight, for the products offered for sale are in most cases frozen solid. Fish are piled up in stacks like so much cord- wood, and meat likewise. All kinds of fowl are similarly frozen and piled up. Some animals brought into the market whole are propped up on their leg* and have the appearance of being actually alive. As one goes through the markets one seems to be surrounded by living pigs, sheep, oxen, and fowls standing up. But, Granger yet, even the liquids are frozen feolid and sold in blocks. Milk is frozen into a block in this way, and with a string at a stick frozen into and projecting from it. This, it is said, is for the convenience of the purchaser, who is thus enabled to carry Ms milk by the string or stick-handle. There is, of course, less risk of disease germs In frozen milk, but the danger is not entirely removed, for many microbes, it has been found, will sur- vive very low temperatures, and can be killed only by intense heat.
"The most attractive exhibit at the sol- diers' art exhibition at Graudenz," remarks a Hamburg paper, "consists of the collec- tion of silver table ware, formerly the pro- perty of the King of Servia, which has been contributed by the 129th Infantry (the Mac- kensen Regiment). Mr. Graham, a British subject now at the Delamothe Hospital. Villeneuve-sur-Loi, has been appointed temporary assistant BOTgeon- major of the second claas in the French territorial army.
I THINGS THOUGHTFUL I I COURAGE. I Courage breeds courage. Every brave deed one does makes it easier to do another brave deed. Every courageous act one witnesses prompts courage in ourselves. That is one reason why courage is so well worth while. I THE ESSENTIAL LIBRARY. I Men sometimes speak as if the study of the classics would at length make way for more modern and practical studies; but the adventurous student will always study clas- sics, in whatever language they may be written and however ancient they may be. For what are the classics but the noblest re- corded thoughts of man? They are the only oracles which are not decayed, and there are such answers to the most modern inquiry in them as Delphi and Dodona. never gave.- H. W. Thoreau. BE BRAVELY REVENGED. Hath any wronged thee? Be bravely re- venged; slight it, and the work's begun; forgive it, and 'tis finished. He is below himself that is not above an injury.— Francis Quarles. 0 THAT 'TWERE POSSIBLE. 0 that 'twere possible After long grief and pain To find the arms of my true love Round me once again! A shadow flits before me, Not thou, but like to thee: Ah, Christ! that it were possible For one short hour to see The souls we loved, that they might tell us What and where they be! —Tennyson. THE BURIED SORROW. There are sorrows a bout which we can do nothing whatever but ask God's help, and then cover them out of sight. But it often happen* that these buried griefs are like seeds. Buried and let done, by and by they find rt-t amotion in some beautiful flower that er ches the life. Looking back over our 1 i v• rt, in si of us can see that many a blessing wt ch brightens the present, sprang from sori.e trouble in the past over which our heart mourned. The crushed hope, the disappo'utrnent that tempted us to bitter- ness. the loss that seemed to hold no shred of compensation—out of these have germi- nated new strength, new alliance with other lives, new endeavour. We look back to the old sorrow with hearts that still ache at the remembrance, but we would not like to be quite what we were before its touch came. I THE EVERLASTING. It fortifies my soul to know That, though I perish, Truth is so: That, howsoe'er I stray and range, Whate'er I do, Thou doet not change, I steadier step when I recall That, if I slip, Thou dost not fall. —Arthur Hugh Clough. BE WHAT YOU OUGHT. Never mind the future if only you have peace of conscience, if you feel yourself re- conciled and in harmony with the order of things. Be what you ought to be: the rest is God's affair.—Amiel. NOT SO. Some people seem to think that they are avoiding the very appearance of evil when they do wrong in secret and take care to avoid the appearance of it to others. I MAN AND THE WORLD. -in this one thing all the discipline Of manners and of manhood is contain'd; A Man to join himself with the Universe In his main sway; and make (in all things fit) One with that All; and go on, round as it: Not plucking from the whole his wretched part, And into straits, or into nought revert; Wishing the complete Universe might be Subject to such a rag of it as He. —George Chapman (1613). A LOW STATE. We live in a. very low 6tate of the worM, and pay unwilling tribute to governments founded on force. There is not, among the most religious and instructed men of the most religious and civil nations, a reliance on the moral sentiment, and a sufficient belief in the unity of things, to persuade them that society can be maintained with- out artificial restraints, as well as the solar system; or that the private citizen might be reasonable, and a good neighbour, without the hint of a gaol or a confiscation.—Emer- son. CHEER UP! I It's an easy thing to be happy, It's an easy thing to be gay When everything goes as you want it, And the hours go flying awav. It's a harder thing to be cheerful, It's a hard thing to work right When everything goes dead against you, And day seems to turn into night. But cheer up! the worst is soon over, The Darkness soon passes away, For the stormiest night's oft followed By the brightest and sunniest day. GOODNESS. I Every act of men which can be called good is an act of sacrifice, an act which the doer of it would have left undone had he not preferred some other persons to his own, or the excellence of the work on which he was engaged to his personal pleasure or con- venience.—J. A. Froude. GOLD DUST. I The welfare of a people does not eo much depend on what the poor man puts into his mouth as what he puts into his mind.—Hall Caine. A noble man cannot be indebted for his culture to a narrow circle. The woitd and his native land must act on him.-Goethe. The man who has a character of his own is little changed by varying his situation.— Mme. Montaigne. I go on with what I am about as if there were nothing else in the world for the time being. That is the secret of aZI hard-work- ing men.—Kingsley. Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.— J. M. Barrie. To progress you must show yourselves capable of progressing.—Mazzini. THE POWER OF GOD. I Oh, that my lot might lead me in the path of holy purity of thought and deed, the path which august laws ordain—laws which in the highest heaven had their birth! The power of God is mighty in them and does not wax old.-Sophoeles. I HAVE WE? I Have we degenerated from our English fathers so that we cannot do and bear for our national salvation what they have done and borne over and over again for their form of government TO. W. Holmes. I A WILD DREAM. I I don't believe in socialism. It's a wild dream. If they ever got a four-hour work- ing day the socialists would want double pay because they would have twice as much time to spend it in. Socialists don't want to work. The men who make a success want to work. Socialism will never get there.— Edison. People will not look forward to posterity who never look backward to their ancestors. -FAmumd Burke.
CLUB WINDOW. -—— —— Cardinal Bourne is a wonderful linguist, speaking six or seven lauguages with ease. It is said that it only takes him six months bo pick up a working knowledge of any lan- guage. Mr. Roosevelt knows many good stories of the Rough Riders, whom he commanded in the Cuban War, and, "for old time's sake," these old comrades of his are always glad to help him at an election. "On one occasion," says Mr. Roosevelt, "a Rough Rider from Texas came with me on an electioneering trip and made a speech in my favour. But his intentions were better than his method, and when he .got up to speak this is what he said: 'My fellow-citizens, vete for Rooee- velt! Vote for Roosevelt, and he will lead you as he led us, like sheep to the slaughter! The general laugh that fol- lowed, however, was not prejudicial to Mr. Roosevelt's chances in the least. Mr. David R. Francis, American Ambassa- dor to Russia, has had a remarkable career, having become mayor of St. Louis when only thirty-five years of age. He was mayor from 1885 to 1889, Governor of Missouri from 1889-93, and Secretary of the Interior from 1896-7. On one of his visits to America, Paderewski, the eminent pianist and composer, was in- troduced, somewhat against his will, to a. man of little apparent culture, who pro- fessed great interest in music and much in- timacy with its finer phases. "We artists, you know, Mr. Paderewski," he remarked, "have our moods and tastes in common, which the ordinary man is incapable of understanding or sympathising with. You, Mr. Paderewski, have your instrument, to which your life is devoted, and I have mine. I rejoice in you as a brother artist." "And what," inquired the great virtuoso, with desperate politeness, "is your instrument, Mr. H "The concertina, sir," was the proud response. tt tt tt Sir Edward Carson relates a delightful story concerning his son, which shows the contempt that "the young idea" has for parental honours. It was not long after Sir Edward had relinquished the important post of Solicitor-General, and he was addressing an audience on the methods for examining the candidates for the services. "I had a boy," said Sir Edward, "who went through that ordeal. I waited outside until it was over. When my son came out, I asked what had been said to him. 'A lot of rot,' he re- plied. They asked me if my father was the Solicitor-General, and when I said that he was, they wanted to know why I wasn't fol- lowing in his footsteps. I replied that, per- haps, after I had failed at this job, I would take it up < The King of Spain made his first public appearance on a velvet cushion covered with a lace veil, and carried by the Prime Minis- ter of Spain. He was born in the morning; had the event taken place at night, red lamps would have been lit to announce the fact. As it was, the Royal Standard was hoisted and a salute of twenty-one guns fired. The King can hardly have been "a Bturdy little recruit," for one newspaper de- scribed him as "the smallest possible quan- tity of a King." tt < Mr. Albert Chevalier tells a good story about his early days on tour. After appear- ing one night at a small provincial hall, he told the manager that he did not expect to get such a cordial reception as the audience had given him. "What makes you say that?" said the manager. "I did not notice it." "Didn't you hear them banging their walk- ing-sticks and umbrellas on the floor?" asked Chevalier. "That wasn't applause," replied the manager. "The post-office is on the floor above us, and they were stamping letters for the mail! t tt Mr. Joseph Hocking, the nove\lst, was first educated at a little village school in Corn- wall, were the fees were graduated accord- ing to the social position of the parents. He learnt no Greek or Latin there, but had arithmetic, algebra, and Euclid thoroughly drubbed into him by a master who was a very good mathematician. He and his brother Silas probably became novelists through their mother, who had a wonderful gift for narrative, and used to tell the chil- dren innumerable stories of wizards, fairies, smugglers, and apparitions. Young Joseph Hocking used to imagine himself a pros- perous author with about | £ 8,000 a year, and editors constantly begging him to contribute articles and stories to the pages of their papers. Sir Charles Wyndham was once asked to exploit a certain reciter, and gave an "At Home" for the purpose, at which Mr. Glad- stone was present. It was a terribly hot afternoon, and the reciter announced that he would give "Elaine" by Lord Tennyson. After the recital, Sir Charles went to the "G. O. M." and said, "I'm afraid you've had a trying time with all this -heat?" W "N.ot at all," was the reply. "I have had a charming afternoon. I thank you for ask- ing me, and now I am quite refreshed I can run back to the House," Sir Charles was elated, for the rather "heavy" "Elaine" had feeen a success after all. He rushed to the stage, where he found his guests waiting for him and for tea. "What have we done to you," they cried, "to give us Elaine' on a dav like this? Surely there was something lighter to choose?" "Lighter?" echoed Sir Charles. "That's the trouble with you Society people, you're all so frivolous. I gave you a classic treat. Why, Gladstone has just told me he had a delightful after- noon." "Of course he had," was the re- joinder, "for he was asleep all the time!" The Right Hon. Andrew Fisher, the High Commissioner for Australia, began life as a pit boy at ten, with his father, who was a working collier. He practically educated himself, and, as the years went by, worked so earnestly for the betterment of the con- ditions under which his fellow-workers laboured, that he aroused the antagonism of employers, was blacklisted, and forced to Emigrate to obtain employment. This was in 1885. when he was twenty-three. Eight fears later he entered the Queensland Parliament after working in the goldfields, where his sterling character earned for him much popularity among the diggers. A keen debater, organiser, and labour student, he steadily climbed the ladder of political fame and success, culminating in his appointment as Prime Minister of Australia in 1910. To his labour friends, however, he is still Andy, the pit boy of Kilmarnock, and although his native country did *not treat him kindly, Mr. Fisher cherishes no bitter feelings against it. He still loves the land of "banks and braes," and dotes on Burns. tt Admiral Sir George Warrender is a very keen vachtsman, and is one of the few British admirals who is also a member of the Royal Yacht Squadron. He has seen strenuous service both on land and sea. His first experience of fighting was with the Naval Brigade in the Zulu War of 1879, six years after he joined the Navy. and he again saw nghting in the China War, when he was flag-captain to the rear-admiral of the China Squadron. The Marquis of Tullibardine has been called "The Fighting Marquis." He started his military career at the age of nineteen, and has seen much service, particularly in Egypt. He greatly distinguished himself at Atbara and Omdurman, with the net result of two medals and clasps and the D.S.O. His special exploit was a gallant dash through the Dervishes in an attempt to save a couple of wounded troopers. After the battle he and Mr. Winston Churchill went out to see what they could do for the wounded, Lord Tullibardine carrying a large water-bottie which brought relief to not a few. To one badly-treated Dervish, who was shot through the knee, he brought last- ing relief by deftly extracting the bullet with a button-booi-
For supplying a false character to a man latelv convicted in connection with the theft of £"400 worth of tea, Louis Castle was fined £ 20 at Old-street Police-court. The death has occurred in Northampton- shire of Mr. wmi.a.m Hudson, J.P.. member cf the firm of Randle Bros. and Hudson, shipping merchants, of Manchester and Natal. — ——?s? ..? ..?r?
I OTHER MEN'S MINDS. Liberty and peace are the ideals to which your Republic (France) has been devoted. Liberty and peace are the ideate of the British people also, wherever over the world it dwells, here and in the Dominions and in the Colonies.—KING GEORGE. I BRUTE FORCE. We are fighting, not for terms, but to defeat Germany, for the sake of defeating her. It is an instinct, and I think it is a good instinct. It may be an instinct of brute force, but the reign of force is not yet finished on this planet. The exercise of force, and nothing else, has saved Europe from Gorman domination.-MR. ARNOLD BENNETT. I NATIONAL SERVICE. I believed in national service before the war. I am perfectly certain that the war has not changed my belief, but I have always felt one thing, and that is that if national service is to come in this country it can only come through a people con- vinced, and convinced from the proper I standpoint.—TEE EARL or DERBY. I NOT THE QUICKEST ROUTE. j My experience has been that to try and broaden the basis of taxation is not the quickest route to happiness.—MR. MONTAGU, M.P. I COALS TO NEWCASTLE. Hitherto we have depended mainly on Germany and Austria for our supply of medicinal herbs, and it is difficult to under- stand why there should be any necessity to import herbs that grow wild in this country. For instance, it seems absurd to import colt&foot by the ton when every clayey rail- way bank or heavy waste-ground is covered with the plant.—MR. E. X. HOLMES. I IMPERIAL UNION. The organic union of the Empire has already, because of the war, and the mighty efforts it has called forth on tho part of ail the British peoples, entered the region of what is known as "practical politic,s.SIB HARRY WILSON. I WARS JUST AND UNJUST. some war medals there are which chronicle gallant deeds done upon morally unjustified occasions: our voluntary regi- ments have not always fought with such altruistic, such religious cause as they do to- day.—SIB JAMES YOXALL, M.P. I LABOUR AND THE WAR. Labour, except for an insignificant minority, is for the war; and it is not too much to say that without its co-operation neither this war nor any other war could be carried to a successful conclusion by Britain. —MR. FRAXK DILNOT. I THE ART OF COOKERY. From our French and Belgian guests we should learn to abandon our All-British Cooking, and practise the delicate, hygienic, and aesthetic science which is the domestic application of chemistry and one of the bases of civilisation.-DR. C. W. SALEEBY. THE PART OF DEMOCRACY. I What is wanted for the welfare of the race is not the application of wisdom from without, but the gradual training of the human will to its great taek of making the best of the world. Of that education democracy is, and must be the main instru- ment.—MR. WILLIAM ARCHER. I BED BOOKS. I Books are divided into two classes—bed books and the others. Bed books are books that you read forty years on end over and over again.—MR. ARNOLD WHITE. .& i THE PROFITEERS. I There are a great many people in this world who are ready to sell anvthing for money. There are even men at the present moment in this crisis in the history of the country who are prepared almost to sell their country for the sake of getting more money.—MR. JUSTICE AYORY. I UNKIND. I Do not most people go to the Royal Academy more as a duty than as an enter- I tainment'—MR. KIKG, M.P. SCIENTIFIC WARFARE. I War is becoming more scientific and more mechanical every day, and we cannot con- tinue to leave the direction of the scientific aspects entirely in the hands of men who may be excellently trained for military pur- poses, but whose scientific training is deficient.-LORD MONTAGU OF BEAULIEU. WEAPONS OF WAR. I There are certain things for which all countries invariably decline to be dependent on their neighbours. Nobody ever suggested that we should be wL-e to depend for cannon on Krupp, or that the German Government would have been wise to depend entirely on the Clyde or on Barrow for the building of submarines.—MARQUIS OF CREWE. THE YOUNG HEROES. I Let. us remember these young heroes who have gone from us, not altogether with sorrow, but also with a sort of solemn thankfulness to God who has strengthened them to do their duty; thankfulness to them who had strengthened and helped us all by the way they had done their duty. Not in vain have they given their Jives for their country—for their country which is fighting f'or a cause to which honour and justice called her, a cause as righteous as any nation has ever sustained. The memories of those young heroes will for us and for those who come after shine like the lights of the world, lights that will burn for ever, set up around the altar of patriotism and of duty. VISCOUXT BRYCE. THE WAY TO LOSE. I The provision of soldiers, the supplying of the Fleet, the making of munitions, and the maintenance of our position as the staple financiers are what I call the national necessities, but, important as they are, none is so important as the unity of the people. In fact, the only certain way of lesing this war and placing the chain of militarism round the neck, not only of England, but of Europe, is to break the national unity —MR J H. THOMAS, M.P. A DANGEROUS CREED. I This war has taught us many things, and, among others, that internationalism is *a dangerous creed if it means that we are not to distinguish between our friends and our enemies. between those who wish us well and those who lie in wait to destroy us and our possessions.—LORD BURNHAM. AFTER THE WAR. II As a result of the war we intend to estab- lish the principle that international pro- blems must be handled by free negotiation on equal terms between free peoples, and that this oettlement shall no longer be hampered and swayed by the overmastering dictation of a Government controlled by a military cast.e.-MB.. ASQUITH.
For registering the -,i;e of his mother on her death at sixty-seven when she was seventy-three "to make it tally with her in- surance policy," Richard Robinson, Vic- toria-road, Leyton, was fined £ 5 at Strat- ford. Mme. Meeson was sent to gaol for a month (second division) at Radcliffe (Lanes.) for telling fortunes. Relatives of soldiers visited her weekly since the war began, and one woman was told her husband was dead and she could safely marry again.
—.4 I FUN AND FANCY. "You were always a fault-finder!" growled the wife. "Yes, dear." responded the hus- band meekly; "I found you." "Marmaduke, do you know how iron was first discovered?" "-No; how? "Oh, they smelt it! "They are starting to send animals through the mails." "How do you know? "Why, only yesterday I received a letter with a seal on it." Recruiting Sergeant (cynically) "So you want to join, eh? For the separation allow- ance, I suppose? Married Recruit: "Yes, sir. I wants the separation, and the wife wants the allowance Hub. "Have you much shopping to do to-day?" Wife: "I don't know, dear. How much money have you ? Young Woman (timidly, to shopman) "1 would like to look at some false hair, please." Shopman (experienced) "Certainly, miss. What colour does your friend want? "She answered me rather shortly when I asked her to be mine." "Indeed! How?" "She said 'Y ee.' Visitor: "Are you the wild man?" Museum Freak: Yes." erh,m I Well, what makes you wild? "The idiotc ques- tions that are being continually asked me." Small Boy: "Please 'aye you a little cigarette -'older you don't want?" Algernon "-No, my boy—why?" Small Boy: Cos father said I could smoke a cigarette when I got a little older." Country Policeman "Look at the luck of that Mulroonev! He's been transferred to the mounted police." Friend: "What ad- vantage is that? "When there's trouble, see how much quicker he can get out of the way than a feller on foot! Mistress: "You say you are well recom- mended?" Maid: "Indeed, ma'am; I have thirty-nine excellent references." Mistress: "And you have been in domestic service? Eaid: "Two years, ma'am." An Irish soldier was asked if he had met with much hospitality in India. "Oh. yes," he replied; "too much! I was in hospital nearly all the time." Beggar (piteously): "Ah, sir, I'm very, very hungry." Dyspeptic (savagely): "Then have the decency to keep vour good fortune to yourself. I haven't had an appetite for years. Guef.\t "Do you like your new cook much? Host "How did you know I had a new cook? Guest: "I saw a strange thumb mark on my plate." She: So many men nowadays marry for money. You wouldn't marry me for money, would you, dearest?" He (absently) "No, darling I wouldn't marry you for all the money in the world." She: "Oh, you horrid, horrid wretch Young Hopeful: "Father, what is a traitor in politics?" Veteran Politician "A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one." Young Hopeful: "Well, then, what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours? Veteran Poli- tician: "A convert, my son." "If we take this case to the courts, shall we get justice? "N--o; but, then, the other fellow won't either." "Wonderful mastery you have over these savage animals," said the admiring visitor to the lion-tamer. "How do you manage it?" "Easy enough, sir, if you keep on the fight side of them." "Ah, yes—but what is the right side of them? "Well," said the tamer, "I reckon it's the outside." "I've just come down to raise your rent, O'Roorke," said an Irish landlord to one of his tenants. "Thank Heaven," replied Paddy, "for between one thing and another I was just wondering how I was going to raise it meself." Agent "What was the matter with your last place? Domestic: "The couple had only been married a month, an' I couldn't stand th' love-makin' Agent "Well, here's a chance in a house where the couple have been married ten years." Domestic: "That's too long. I likes peace and quiet." First Man (with magazine) "What a tre- mendous number of stories Penley Penman writes!" Second Man: "Doesn't he! They say he uses an incubator to hatch his plots." At a certain railway junction the head porter was very fond of "a wee drap." One day, when he had had a little more than usual, a cattle train came in. and he walked along the platform shouting: "All change All change." The guard, who heard the mistake, got out and tried to explain to him that he had made a mistake, and that it was not a passenger train. The porter just turned round and walked back up the plat- form shouting, at the pitch of his voice "All keep your seats All keep your seats Esmeralda: "How many times do you make a young man propose to you before you say Yes? Gwendolen "If you have to make him propose, you'd better say Yes' th* first time." Wife: "John, what is the difference be- tween direct and indirect taxation? Hus- band "Why, the difference between your asking me for money and going through my trousers while I'm asleep." "Of course," said the bachelor thought- fully, "there can be no such thing as joint rule in a family. Someone must be the head." "True; but the sceptre passes from one to another." "How?" "Well, at the beginning of married life the husband holds it; then it gently and unobtrusively passes to the wife, and he never gets it back again." "She keeps it for ever?" "Ob. no; the baby gets it next." "What is the hardest part of your work as a lecturer? asked the to:;st»iaster. As a rule," replied the profossirmil speaker. "The hardest part of my work is w«king the audi- ence up after the man who introduces me has concluded his remarks." A teacher in one of the L< r.don public schools was trying to explain the meaning of the word "relaxat ion." "Bessie," sh e said, "suppose your papa had wc-ikei verv hard all day, he would be tired and worn out, -wouldn't he?" Yes, Then, when night comes, ai,d his work is eyer for the day. what does h, do?" "Oh." replied Bessie, "that <s just what mother w ants to know!" A gentleman -lad an Irishman in his em- ploy who was noted for having dirty loots. One day the gentleman asked him why he hadn't cleaned them. "Well, s.orr," said Pat, "Oi quite forgot. Yer see, sorr, van's memory is situated in wan's head, an' it's a powerful long way to remimber fiom yer head to yer feet! Poet: "Hov--de-do? J'vr broug-ht you a little thing of mine, entitled Spring.' Editor: "Very busy just now. Can't look at it." Poet: "Oh, I'm in no hurry. Can't I help yon in any wayT Editor: "Well, you might chuck that poem of yours into the waste-paper basket." (Collapse Txet.) Husband: "Ah, but yon ured n sav von wouldn't marry the best mar the wo'ld." Wife: "Well, I didn't!