Abergavenny Chronicle

A d,-eluration has been issued by the London Council of the United Protestant Societies, "e-xpressing profound regret that Mr. Asquith -diftiild have paid a visit to the Popr.

j THE BRITISH FRONT. RAID AGAINST ENEMY TRENCHES. (fn Saturday night the Press Bureau issued the following despatch from the General Headquarters in France: "Last night enemy made several email bombing attacks on our craters at St. Eloi. They were all repulsed. "The enemy blew up five mines to-day in the neighbourhood of Quarries and opposite Hulloch. Very slight damage done. "Mining activity on both sides about Cabaret Rouge, Mamctz, and Fricourt. "On both sides there was artillery action to-day about Thiepval, Monchey-au-Bois, Souchez, Bouvigny, Wvtschaete, and St. Eloi. We bombarded Annav and the enemy's trenches just north of River Douve with good effect." On Sunday night the following was issued: "Last night, after the explosion of two mines, our troops carried out a small raid against enemy trenches south of the Bethune-La Bassoo road with satisfactory results. "To-day there has been artillery activity about Arras, Neuville, St. Vaa6t, Grenay, and Loos." I HEAVY BOMBARDMENTS. I Monday night's despatch was as follows: I "Heavy shelling to-day about Voormezeele and Dichebusch, and of area between St. Eloi and Ypres-Comines Canal. ''Some artillery action on both sides to-day about Hebuterne, between Carnov, and the River Somme, also about Souchez and Noeux- les-Aines. "There has been mining activity to-day in the Hohenzollern sector, the Double Crassier and west of Vimy. "Yesterday there was considerable aerial I activity. One of our machines is missing."

GERMAN COAL. I —— —— OFFICIAL WARNING TO NEUTRAL I SHIPMASTERS. The following notice is communicated by the Foreign Office In order to avoid misapprehension his Majesty's Government desire to warn neutral shipowners that all coal of German origin, whether cargo or bunkers, carried by neutral ships is liable to seizure and detention in the same manner as other goods under the Order in Council of March 11, 1915. Masters of neutral ships will therefore iu future be well advised to insure that the coal supplied to them as bunkers is not of German origin, and to provide themselves with certificates from his Majesty's Consular officers proving that the bunker coal carried on their vessels is supplied with the consent of his Majesty's Consul at the port of bunkering.

BABY'S STRANGE DEATH. J An inquiry was held on Monday into the death of the fourteen months old child of Maud Love, a widow, of Peabody-buildings, Black- friars-road, London, S.E. The mother has been arrested on a charg e of murder, and present in custody. A brother of the baby, aged eleven, said his mother went out and left him to mind the baby, wh3 was sitting in a chair. As she did not return when it was time for him to go to school he tied a toy around the baby's neck in a loop and left him playing with it. Dr. Henry said death was caused by asphyxia and shock due to strangulatio i. He thought the piece of string attached to the toy was too thin to have caused the mark round the neck. It might have been caused by the string on the feeding bottle whieh contained a slip knot. The mother, giving evidence, said the baby had slipped from the chair on to the floor, and was sitting up as if asleep. The toy had got fixed in the arm of the chair and the string was tight round the child's neck. The jury returned a verdict of "Accidental death."

HOME OF A PICTISH CHIEF. I A crofter of the Kilkenneth district of Tiree, in the Hebrides, while ploughing recently dis- lodged a large stone, which proved to be part of the roof of an ancient underground dwell- ing. It is supposed to be the home of a Pic- tish chief and his followers. The structure is octagonal in shape, and is separated from an encompassing wall of the same shape by a passage four feet wide and five feet high. The crofter was able to in- vestigate about eighty feet of this passage. Both roof and walls are strongly built without mortar. This underground encampment resembles an Eskimo dwelling. It is considered to belong to the period prior to the arrival of the Celts in the western isles of Scotland. The Piets with the Scots incessantly raided Britain after the withdrawal of the Roman troops. This Pictish home probably dates from the fourth century.

LEAP AMONG SHARKS. I Victor Christian, a Birkenhead apprentice on the steamer F. A. Tamplcn, was at New- castle on Monday presented with the Ship- ping Federation's medal and diploma for gallantry at St. Vincent, Cape Verde. Christian jumped into the isea to save a donkeyman when sharks were swimming round the ship. He just failed to reach his shipmate, who was supposed to have been eaten by sharks.

ALIEN FINED AT SOUTHAMPTON. I At Southampton on Monday Lady Viola Gore, of Swaythling, was fined X.5 for fail- ing to give notice to the registration officer for South Stone ham, a prohibited area, of the presence of her maid, a Swiss woman. The maid was fined £ 2 for not registering herself as an alien. It was said the maid had been in England forty years. She had 1)('('n for twenty years maid to Lady Viola Gore.

"PLENTY TO EAT." "There is plenty to eat and drink and plenty of money in England." That was the reason that led Karl Buck- land, a young German soldier who escaped from France, to try to come to England as a stowaway in a Norwegian steamship. He was caught, and at Newport, Mon., on Monday, he was sentenced to three months' imprisonment, to be followed by internment, for attempting to land in a prohibited area.

NAVAL APPOINTMENT. The Secretary of the Admiralty makes the following announcement: Brigadier-General David Mercer, C.B., R.M., L.I., has been selected to succeed Gene- ral Sir William C. Nicholls, K.C.B., R.M.A., on the termination of his appointment as Adjutant-General of the Royal Marine forces, as from June 26, 1916.

Subscriptions among the angling societies of the United Kingdom have produced a sum sufficient to procure two Red Cross motor ambulances, which will be formally pre- sented next month. Speaking at West Hartlepool, Mr. Ben Tillett ventured on prophecy in regard to the conclusion of the war. As soon, he said, as the Germans recognise we have a superiority over them in armament peace will be declared within a month of that date. The German princes and princesses of the Federal States have declared their willing- ness to participate in the same way as all citizens in the payment of the war-profits taxes, although there is no legal necessity for them to do so. The Danish agent in Copenhagen of an English hat manufacturing firm has just re- turned there after undergoing thirteen days' detention in Germany <3.,1, the grotesque charge of "piloting the fir-it British sub- marine through the Sound ts .the Baltic."

I LINER OUTWITS SUBMARINE I SHELLED FOR TWO HOURS: HIT NINE TIMES. The following (issued by the Press Bureau on Monday) aie extracts of a report from a British merchant vessel, the steamship Duendes, which was attacked by gunfire with- out warning by a German submarine, and whose master, Captain Alban Chittenden, by his judgment, pluck, and skill, succeeded in saving the ship from destruction although hit by shell nine times: On Saturday, March, March 25, at 5 p.m., we observed a Scandinavian barque lying hove to, distant about five miles, under two lower topsails, with the main topsail to the mast. In consultation with the chief officer, John Blacklock, we thought it very strange, fear- ing that a submarine might be lying on the other side of her; so we kept a good look-out, keeping away two points from the barque. Our course was North 83, East true, speed 10.5 knots. SUBMARINE SIGHTED. I At 5.40 p.m., we heard a shot, which dropped about four ships' length astern of us. We then sighted a submarine, which opened fire on the starboard quarter at a distance of about three miles. We immediately altered the helm so as to bring the submarine right aft, and sent to the engine-room to put-all hands on to the fires and open the ship out to the utmost. At the same time I instructed the Marconi operator to send out the SOS signal and giv- ing the position of the ship, etc., which he did, and same was immediately picked up by a shore station, after which the Marconi operator sent cut all positions as the course of the ship was changed. The submarine continued firing from the port and starboard quarters until 6.30 p.m., working us round to the north-east and north in order to keep us in the remaining light in the sky. As the firing in the stokehold became greater and the speed of the ship increased flames came out of the funnel, which made a valuable target for the submarine. Consequently we were forced to put the dampers on. The firing ceased from 6.30 to 6.45 p.m., when he began again, the shots falling ahead of the ship on both sides. He continued firing until 7.25 p.m., which ceased for ten minutes owing to the weather becoming squally. DECK STREWN WITH SHRAPNEL. I At 7.35 p.m., the squall clearing, he opened fire on us with shrapnel, working us right round as before to the remaining light in the sky. We kept altering the course to keep the ship out of the light and to bring the sea abeam, which made it very difficult for him to aim accurately. One of the shrapnel put the wireless appa- ratus out of order for a time, some of the shots entering the Marconi cabin and bridge deck-houe. The firing ceased at eight p.m. The deck was strewn with shrapnel, and the ship had been hit in several places with small pieces, but, as far as we are at present aware, no serious damage has been done, with the ex- ception that two of the plates on the starboard side have been knocked in rather badly with some of the first shots. The behaviour of all on board was admir- able, and I wish to draw particular attention to the conduct of the chief officer, John Black- lock, and Cadet Fred Binnion, for the very able manner in which they assisted me on the bridge by giving the positions of the sub- marine so that I could control the ship, and also the two quartermasters, E. Dobbins and T. Taylor.

COLLECTING NEWS AFTER A RAID. I In a North-East Coast town on Monday Sivert Brun, a naturalised Norwegian, was charged with having attempted to elicit from telegraph messenge-s information that might be useful to the enemy regarding the character of the damage by aerial bombardment, and with having collected and recorded certain information respecting the measures of coast defence. The case was heard in camera. When the court was reopened the chairman of the magistrates said that on the first charge they believed he acted innocently, and he would be bound over in his own recog- nisances of X5 to obey the regulations. The second case was much more serious. The in- formation collected by the defendant might have had very serious consequences. Defen- dant was fined £10, or twenty-five days' im- prisonment in default.

TERRIBLE WORTHING TRAGEDY. I A shocking tragedy, the victim of which is an old man of about seventy years, named Robert Lockhart, a Post Office pensioner, was discovered in a house in Richmond-road, Worthing, on Saturday morning. He had not been seen since Thursday, and the police gained an entrance by means of a ladder through a bedroom window. The lifeless body of the aged inmate was found lyin" partly on the bed, with his head battered to such an extent as to be almost unrecognis- able. The blood-stained handle of a hammer was found close by, although the actual head was missing. Mr. Lockhart was in receipt of a pens.on of nearly E130 a year, and the fact that no money was found on the premises is sugges- tive as pointing to robbery as a possible cause. ————— —————-

I ITALY AND GERMANY. Lord Robert Cecil, replying to Mr. Hous- ton in the House of Commons on Monday, said that war had not been declared between Italy and Germany. Mr. Houston: Can the noble lord say why ? Lord Robert Cecil: I should like notice of that.. Mr. Pringle: Do normal trade relations still exist between the two countries? Lord R. Cecil: Certainly not. All commer- cial intercourse has been forbidden by the Italian Government.

I GALLANT RESCUE AT BEXHILL At an inquest at Bexhill on Monday a London accountant, Mr. J. A. Tinling, was congratulated for his gallant rescue of Miss Annie Pulham from the sea. Seeing her in the water, he swam out, and brought her ashore. She subsequently died of pneu- monia. The jury expressed the opinion that Miss Pulham accidentally fell into the eea. —————

I STEALING A MAIL BAG. a At the Mansion House Police-court a boy of sixteen, named Leonard Charles Mills, was sentenced to four months' imprisonment for stealing a mail bag containing 164 letters from the platform at the Post Offic# Station of the "Tube" railway. It was stated that he opened all the letters, most of which were for soldiers in Fnnce or at Salonika, and retained postal orders and currency notes amounting to X6. Letters containing cheques or money orders were left behind.

I BEWARE OF DAFFODIL BULBS. At a meeting of the Pharmaceutical Society in Edinburgh a paper was read by Mr. W. G. McXab in which he described the uncomfortable consequences of the error or a cook who, in concocting onion soup had mistaken the bulbs of the daffodil for those of the onion. Similar mistakes, says the "Lancet," are not uncommon, but it is com- forting to reflect, that there is no record of a case of fatal poisoninc from daffodil bulbs.

f —————-  —————— I FACTORY DANGER. An inquest was held at Norwich into the death of a young woman named Ethel Annie Overtonj who, after inhaling a preparation at the manufactory where she worked, com- plained of pain in the throat. She di^l after a few days' illness. It wa3 explained that the preparation mentioned threw off a poisonous gas. To cope with the danger electric fans had been installed in the fac- torv. The medical evidence was that death was due to toxic jaundice, caused by inhal- ing a poisonous gas. ,{ 'c-r:.J.¡.

MESOPOTAMIA. I ADVANCE OF THE KUT RELIEF FORCE On Friday afternoon the Secretary of the War Office issued the following announce- ment "General Lake reports that on the after- noon of April 12 our forces on the right (south) bank of the Tigris forced back the enemy's advanced lines over a distance vary- ing from one and a half to three miles. "In order to do so they had to cross an inundated belt, intersected by deep cuts from 500 to 1,200 yards wide, extending from the Tigris to the Umm-el-Brahm Marsh. "On the left bank the water from the marshes was driven by the north-west gale into some of the enemy's trenches at Sanna- i-Yat. "The enemy were heavily punished as they took refuge from the flood in new posi- tion." REPLY TO KING'S MESSAGE. I Mr. Asquith in the House of Commons on Monday read General Townshend's reply to the King's message to the troops besieged in Kut-el-Amara. The reply was forwarded by Sir Percy Lake in the following telegram, dated February 17: General Townshend has asked me to kindly communicate the following message to the King-Emperor: It is hard for me to express by words how profoundly touched and inspirited all ranks under mv command have been by his Majesty's personal message. On their behalf and my own I desire to ex- press to his Majesty that the experience we have had and the knowledge we have gained of the sympathy of our beloved Sovereign will be our sheet-anchor in this defence. The King's telegram, sent on February 14. was in the following terms: "I, together with all your fellow-country- men, continue to follow with admiration the gallant fighting of the troops under your command against great odds. Every pos- sible effort is being made to support your splendid resistance." THE ADVANCE ON BAGDAD. I Mr. Chamberlain, replying to Mr. Annan Bryce, said that the proposal to advance on Bagdad after the battle of Kut-el-Amara was made neither by the Government of India noi by his Majesty's Government, but by the, General Commanding. General Townshend wa under the command of General Nixon, and die not communicate with either Government. FURTHER PROGRESS. I On Sunday evening the Secretary of the War Office issued the following announce- ment: "General Lake reports that on April 14 a heavy gale blew all day. "During the 15th gradual but steady pro- gress was made "u the right bank, and the enemy's advanced lines were driven in and occupied. "The enemy left many dead and a con- siderable number of prisoners in the cap- tured trenches. "Heavy rain fell on the night of the 14th- 15th. On the 15th the weather was fine, but hazy."

MAJOR COMMITS SUICIDE. I At an inquest held on the body of Major Leonard Matteson, A.S.C., aged thirty- three who shot himself at Felix Hotel, Jermyn-street, London, W., some touching letters were read. It was stated that he had been suffering from hemorrhage, which came on while he was in France and Gallipoli. He was on sick leave, and was worried by the idea that he might not be able to get back and fight again. To his uncle he wrote: I could not stand peace-soldiering, and want to get away as soon as I can. I can- not even look at the books and flowers which people send me. It is the saddest thing in the world that, coming home after being on service, I should be defeated by this fell sickness. A letter found in his writing-table read Death, in all its warm black velvet glory, approaching. Not as an enemy, but rather as a mother to her child to comfort and solace. Why should we be frightened of the old man with a scythe? It must be that he is a stranger unknown to all who never think of the Host whom we will all be the guests of one day, Our God. Dr. Dewsbury, who gave evidence, said he had considerable experience of returned officers and men with less service than Major Matteson. It produced great mental strain. They became overwrought, and, apart from illness, were liable in certain cases to lose control of themselves. Verdict: "Suicide while temporarily in- sane." ♦

AGRICULTURAL MACHINERY. I The President of the Board of Agriculture and Fisheries desires to impress upon farmers the necessity of having their agri- cultural machinery overhauled at the earliest possible date, and of ordering at once the spare or repair parts necessary to put the machines into good working order. Such action will have the effect of relieving considerably the pressure upon the manufac- turers who are working with depleted staffs owing to enlistment and other causes, and will go far to ensure farmers possessing reliable machines at the time when they are most needed.

I SINN FEINERS FINED. Two young men of Wexford were charged at Dublin Police-court with having trans- ferred firearms and ammunition, namely. eight new single-barrel breechloading shot guns, stamped U.S.A., and packed in case: four revolvers, ten rounds of magazine and rifle ammunition in clips, ten home-forged bayonets, and six rounds of revolver ammu- nition, without a permit, for a purpose con- trary to the Defence of the Realm Act. It was stated that the defendants were mem- bers of the Sinn Fein organisation. They were sentenced to three months' imprison- ment each.

I A TORPEDO'S POWER. Sir Archibald Denny at the Society of Arts said he did not think that designers of merchant vessels should be severely crit i- cised for not having produced, vessels which would always withstand torpedo and mine attaeks, especially as the tremendous power of the modern torpedo and mine was not, and could not, have been foreseen by them. It was interesting to know that many vessels had survived such attacks. The Germans did not always realise that it was somewhat difficult to sink an oil carrier, especially if she was running light.

LORD CLANRICARDE DEAD. The Earl of Clanricarde has died at his residence, 13, Hanover-square, London, W., aged eighty-four. Educated at Harrow, he became Attache at Turin in 1852, and ten years later he was appointed Second Secre- tary. He entered Parliament as member for County Galway in 1867, and represented the constituency for four years. Lord Clanricarde owned about 57,000 acres of land. and at one time he was a prominent figure in the Land War.

The proposed war-tax on matches has brought about a tremendous boom in the sale of flint-and-steel tinder-lighters, the bulk of which are made for this country by France and Holland, and were formerly im- ported also from Belgium. Lord Rosebery has selected Friday, May 12, as the date on which he will unveil at Leith the memorial to Leith Territorials who lost their lives in the troop train dis- aster at Gretna. Edith Norris, the wife of a naval petty officer, was sentenced to one month's hard labour at Rochester for harbouring an Armv deserter, who was found in her coal cup- board. :¡" if;C' r j. u

AIR RAID ON CONSTANTINOPLE. POWDER FACTORY AND AEROPLANE HANGARS BOMBED. The Secretary of the Admiralty on Sunday made the folliwing announcement: Or the evening of April 14 a raid on Con- stantinople was carried out by three naval aeroplanes. Bombs were dropped on the Zoitunlik powder factory and the aeroplane hangars. Another naval aeroplane visited Adria- nople and dropped bombs on the railway station. The following were the officers who took plart in the operations: Squadron Commander J. R. W. Smyth-Pigott. Flight Lieutenant K. S. Savory. Flight Sub-Lieutenant R. S. W. Dickinson. Flight Sub-Lieutenant I. H. W. Barnato. All have returned safely. The flight to Constantinople and back measured over three hundred miles, and though fine weather prevailed at the start adverse con- ditions supervened, with wind, rain, and thunderstorms.

AN EX GUARDSMAN'S CLAIM. Judgment was given in the High Court on Saturday in a claim for commission by Mr. W. A. Mortimer, a pensioned Grenadier Guardsman^ against Messrs. A. W. Gamage, Ltd., of Holborn, London, W.C. The plain- tiff was employed as a traveller at a salary of C2 a week, with Ii- per cent. commission. He claimed £ 588 commission on orders ob- tained for Army boots, clothing, -and other articles constituting soldiers' kits amounting to £ 47,116. The defendants pleaded that the orders were not all obtained by the plaintiff, but admitted that £ 280 commis- sion was due. They counter-claimed for damages and loss of profits consequent upon the plaintiff having executed orders which they alleged had been obtained for them. The Official Referee, in giving judgment, decided that the plaintiff had not made out that he was entitled to anything beyond that for which defendants had given him credit. As to the counter-claim he decided that it was the- plaintiff's duty to forward to defendants all the orders obtained by him, and gave judgment for the defendants for .£300. compensation for loss of profit. That would be k20 beyond the X280 ad- mitted to be due to the plaintiff.

IN PLACE OF WEDDING RINGS. In many parts of the world women do not wear wedding rings, but they have other signs which unmistakably show that they are married. Hindoo women paint a vertical red mark in the middle of their foreheads, and wear peculiarly shaped bangles. In Japan, married women black their teeth with a dye made from poppies. In most of the native tribes of South Africa. a horn ring encircles the top-knot of the married woman. Among these tribes unmarripd women wear no rings, wives wear one, and mothers wear two. Moorish women arrange their veils in a particular way after mar- riage.

FROM BROKEN CRYSTALS. A soft bluish light has occasionally been seen when a scjop was scraped across solidly caked sugar in the bin. Loose sugar does not show this glow, nor does granulated. The cau.,e of the peculiar light is in the fracturing of the sug?r crystals. Lumin- iseence of this type accompanies the break- ing of crystals of a number of different sub- stances, but in none 16 more pronounced than in rock candy. To get the best effect, place lumps of rock enndv between the jaws of nut crackers or forceps, and suddenly rrusb T.he crystal to fragments. If the room haa previously been darkened the flash may be seen twenty yards away. —.————

ROUMANIAN ARMY. I Roumania has an armv of between 600.000 and 700,000 troops. all well-trained men, like most of the men in the Balkans. Roumania has the advantage over all the other Balkan States of not having .been seriously engaged in the disastrous wars of 1911 and 1912. All the time that Bulgaria, Serbia, Greece, and Turkey were smashing themselves against one another, Roumania stood out, waiting. The result was that when she did move her troops in the last Balkan AVar they were so overwhelming that the other Balkan States had to give in, for they were exhausted while Roumania was fresh. There is com- pulsory service in the great Balkan State. all men from twenty-one to forty-two being called on to serve. Their uniforms are a mixture of Russian, Italian, and French.

MOTHER AND BABY IN WELL I A story of the terrifying experience of a woman who fell with her baby down a well in which there were seven feet of water was told at an inquest at Awkley, near Doncastcr, on the three-months-old child of a labourer. The mother said that she had one out in the yard early in the morning, taking the baby with her because it was crying, when she stumbled and fell into the well. She tried to save the baby, but the water came over her head twice, and she had to let the child go. Somehow the woman managed to scramble out, and her husband awoke at two a.m. to -iwo k e at two a. m to find her wringing wet by the bedside calling for her child. — ————— I

I MILLIONAIRE S SON JOINS U?. Mr. J. H. X. Robcrts. son of Sir James Robert- Bt., who is a millionaire, has re- ported himself for military service at Keighley. He has joined the Army as a private. Mr. Roberts, who is managing director of Sir Titus Salt, Bt., Sons, and Co., owners of Saltaire Mills, had previously applied for exemption, and his father said that it would be necessary to close the mills if the appli- cation were not granted. Exemption was refused. The mills employ 3,000 people.

I BOGUS SOLDIERS. The Secretary of the War Office makes the following announcement :— It has been brought to notice that there ar, a number of second-hand clothes dealers who expose regulation uniform for sale. Such persons are warned that the sale to unauthorised persons of military uniform, or of uniform so nearly resembling the same as to be calculated to deceive, renders them liable to prosecution under the Defence of the Realm Regulations.

SUPPLY OF STEEL HELMETS. I Mr. Tennant has assured Colonel McCal- mont in the House of Commons that the 'active resumption of hostilities" would not And the troops in the trenches unprovided with steel helmets. He added that the supply of helmets would be acceleratcd. ————— —————

PASSED AS MEDICALLY FIT. 1 I An inquest has been held at Worthing on a man who was shown to have'had no kid- neys, but two large growths forming cysts. These the doctors described as a patho- logical curiosity. The relatives have agreed that they be placed in a medical museum, the man had been passed as medically fit for the Army.

By an agreement with the mili-tarv authorities, one-third of the attested men engaged by Liverpool stockbrokers, oil-cake manufacturers, wool brokers, coal exporters, and corn merchants will jcin the Armv im- mediately. The manager of a firm of British plavins" card manufacturers stated that tliev had thrice the demand for cards thev had ever had before. All the world was asking Eng- land for cards, but they cculd not cope with the orders.

 CLUB WINDOW. I CLUB INDOW. King George has a keen sense of humour. At an entertainment for wounded soldiers at Buckingham Palace his Majesty happened to be chatting informally to one of the mem- bers of a West-End club who patrol the grounds of the Palace as "specials." When the King learnt this he remarked with a merry twinkle: "Then you're one of the fellows who drop matches and cigarette enda all over my gardens, are you? « Sir George Reid is a man of very gene- rous proportions, and he does not in the least mind joking about the fact. At a dinner to wounded soldiers, he told the fol- lowing against himself: "I met Sir Ian Hamilton in one of the clubs," he said, "and told him I wanted to go to the front. I told him I wasn't much of a walker, that when I went shooting I nearly shot myself, and that when I got on a horse I didn't know whether I should get off when I wanted to or not! But I said: Why can't you let me go to the front as an armoured fort?' Sir Ian looked 3ne up and down and said: 'Well, Sir George, I don't think we could send you to the front as an arir-ourect fort, but I think we might make a base of you < Sir Archibald Geikie, the famous scientist, is bv no means beyond laughing at a joke. He is fond of telling about an Englishman and a Scotsman who went to Egypt together and paid a visit to the Pyramids. The Eng- lishman was lost in admiration at the won- derful eight, and presently asked his com- panion for his opinion. Tite Scotsman shook his head sorrowfully. "Ah, mon," he said with a sigh, "what a lot of mason work not to be bringin' in any rent • • • When the Grand Duke Michael of Russia held the rank of midshipman in the naval service, the flagship in which he was serving was wrecked on the coast of Den- mark. The admiral ordered the lifeboats to be lowered, and directed the Duke to take charge of the first one. But the royal mid- shipman declined to obey. "I am your com- manding offioer, and I order you into the boat," cried the admiral. "I cannot obey you," returned the prince. "It would not become the son of the Emperor to be the first to leave the ship. I shall remain with you." "But I shall put you under arresfe for disobedience, as soon as circumstances will allow, if you do not do as I tell you." "I mean no disobedience, but I cannot obey," persisted Michael. Then, as soon ae temporary shelter was obtained, the rigid discipline of naval life was resumed, and the young prince was placed under arrest for disobedience to orders. The Russian Minister at Copenhagen, being at once informed of the facts, telegraphed them to the Emperor, and received this reply: "I approve the act of the admiral for placing the midshipman under arrest for disobeying orders, and I bless and admire my son lor disobeying them. under the circumstances." » • An amusing story is toid about Lord Kitchener. It concerns a famous poster, issued some time ago, with an appeal in his handwriting for more men. and yet more men. He had, of course, to write the original appeal from w h ic h the facsimile on the poster was made, and he did so, and it went to the Department concerned with such things. His writing was found to be too small for poster-size reproduction, so the sheet was sent back to him with a cautious explanation in this sense, and the request would he re-write it. He did, but again it was too small, and he wrote it a third time, and with that third draft sent that grimly humorous message: "Don't ask me to write this again, for rather than do it we'll have conscription The German Emperor, it is said, when joining his yacht one day. encountered a sailor who was carrying a mug of beer. The man, all confounded by the presence of his king, made a clumsy salute. "Now," said the Kaiser, "you did that very stupidly. I will show you the right way. Go along now, and imagine that you are the Emperor and I am you." So the man went, and the Emperor took the mèl. Along came the former, timid and amazed, anything but the genuine William. The Emperor looked up, saw him, affected embarrassment, emptied, the mug with gusto, and then saluted. Whether the Failor will be able to follow this method is quite a question, but the Emperor enjoyed the beer. < A rather amusing little story of the Sultan of Morocco is told in connection with an official visit paid to him by a European diplomat. During the audience the diplo- mat noticed, with some surprise, that not one of the two or three clocks in the audi- ence chamber were going. Yery delicately he mentioned to the Sultan that. his clocks had all stopped, and hinted that he would like to present him with one that would be more reliable. The Sultan thanked him. "But my clocks are excellent timekeepers." he ttddcd, with a smile. "They were all going until just before you came, but I had them all stopped, as I did not desire, during your excellency's all too brief visit, to be reminded of the flight of time." t An amusing story is told about Admiral von Tirpitz. When von Tirpitz saw the Kaiser in the field in connection with natters which led to his retirement from the post of Minister of Marine, he asked to be provided with a warm bath, as he had come a long and dirty journey. A full length meta-1 bath was screened off at a suitable spot, and having been filled, an oil stove was placed underneath for the pur- pose of heating the water. A little later the ex-Minister of Marine disappeared from view behind the curtain. Presently the soldier attendants were startled bv a. yell, and on running to the spot discovered the admiral scrambling in great haste and anger from the bath. under the centre of which the oil stove was still burning. William Dean Howe lis, the well-known American author and critic, tells this Shakespeare story. "In Stratford," he says, "during one of the Shakespeare jubilees, an American tourist approached an aged vil- lager in a smock, and said: Who is this chap Shakespeare, anyway?' He were a writer, sir.' Oh, but there are lots 01 writers. Why do you make such an infernal fuss over this one? Wherever I turn I se< Shakespeare hotels, Shakespeare cakes Shakespeare chocolates, Shakespeare shoes. What the d-cuce did he write magazjn stories, attacks on the Government, shad novels?' 'No, sir! oh, no, sir,' said th. aged villnger. I understand he writ fo: the Bible, On one occasion, another man helper Edison to erect a miniature electric-light plant, and when the work was finished "h was BO delighted that he Raid to the gres- inventor: "Mr. Edison, after working wit you like this, I believe I could put up a electric-light plant myself." "Could yoi indeed?" said Edi-rnes, I btlieve could," replied the amateur: but suaden J his face clouded. "There's only one thiir that beats me," he added doubtfully "hat's that?" inquired Edison. "Wei I don't quite see," answered the buddin electrical engineer, looking at the glowiir bulb, "how you get the oil aJorg if wires.

Dr. J. S. Warraek has heon appoint* deputy medical offioer of health for the Po of London Major Newton and "Mr. H. S. Hepbu' were last week nominated as the lit London Sheriffs. The official description of a firl in t Shoreditch County-court the other day w "an infant in years, an adult mentallv." The chairman of Dorman, Long and 0 Ltd., stc<? workers, Middlesbrough, ss they had no reason to com?am that t excess profits tax had been raised to six per cent. as their trade profits had rie, frcia to J from X237,000 to £ 404,524.