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TOWN TALK. To snoke lem-or pay more? —: o; — rr The brush in the Bight was Reatty's broom. —: o: — The three ha'penny letter will be the lazy man's excuse to write still less fre- quently. —ton— It was stated at Neath Court that an old age pensioner was earning 93 a week. A sign of the times! -;0:- There are more CardJs" in the Glam- organ force than the total number of men in the Cardiganshire force. _0;- Neath Socialists have had their violin recital. It's not their policy to -bow and scrape for anything—except music! — A.— An innocent thing of twelve years wants to know why cats sing" in the night and not during the day. We, too, have often wondered! -:0:- This world is a bad old place, but Lon- don Opinion" says that at least it im- proves a bit every time the Germane in mass formation offer themselves as a target. Every other smoker we meet to-day vows to give up the weed. They all did at the time of the last increase in price-M.i some of them kept to their resolution for over a week. -;0:- W, b--m I come home from India." writes a Weet Wales soldier, I will have to go to the Museum at Swaneoa t- sit on th*; stuffed elephant in order to keep up my riding pructioe." 0: Heard after the visit of the collierv medical board to Ammanford. First col- lier: "What were you passed in?" Second collier: C 3, What were you?" C Fritz," was the laconic reply. -;0- There is quite an epidemic of varicose veins among Pantvffynon and Pontardu- lai* mem since the military recruiting ege has been raised beyond the too-old limit of 41. Is it a cause or an effect? -:0:- A Mumbles man, lean, spruce, sprightlv clean-shaven, has been so persistentiv pesterod with the remark, Your torn has come to be called up," that he has begun to cultivate a stubbly grey mous- tache—to prove that he is over 51. -:0- Mr. Tom Griffiths, Neath, secretary of the British Steelsmelters' Union, has a very fine collection of old Swansea china, antique furniture, and paintings. But one of his proudest possessions is a phots- graph in which he is shaking hands with the Prince of Wales. -'0- In the Maesquarre grounds at Amman- ford, among many foreign and other orna- mental trees, is a very large monkey puzzle," one of the five trees brought ■ to this country by Darwin, and one of the largest in.Xke: arr in Kew Gardens. -v r— The brfozine.% of Swansea Sands would appear to develop wantonness of thought, to judge by the outpourings of an orator there, which ran like this: Who built the chapels? The devil. Who made the preachers F The devil." Yet no preacher and no chapel seems a penny the worse for the oratorical diatribe. -:0: The methods used by some allotment holders at Neath to keep the birds away are amusing. Tin windmills, rap", leathers, and, in one instance, an old corset, are fluttering above the small seed beds. Boys, however, have pinched the windmills and left the sticks behind. A rod for <heir hacks when discovered! — to The usual garden 1)a:ties niiite the most delightful secial functions of the •season—held on the spacious lawn of a popular St. HelenVroad medico, will not take place thie -tiramer. Titi, i" fine to the lawn being converted into a vast stretch of the fragnnt Onionen Nelsonius at the special desire of I.c-d Rhondda. —: o: The new chairman of the Ammanford Council is a collier who has worked fifty years underground, starting ei a ooy of ten years. I don't promise you (said he in returning thanks for the hoaour) that I shall conform to the rules of etiquette and be very polite, but I hope always to possess a respectful feeling towards Qvery one of you." — If my friend wouldn't interrupt said one solicitor to another at Amman- ford Court. "If my friend only conducted hi* case prûperly-" retaliated the other. My friend said the defendant was desirable to be called up any moment." quoth the second. I ghould DC. r have been guilty of such an un- grammatical expression." retorted the first. Oh. the lawyers! — XI f— There was a great argument in a local hotel on Saturday evening between two soldiers as to their war records. But they were completely put in the shade by a quiet individual, who threw some povm ,a to the table which proved that he had been discharged from the Army with wound*, after having served in tlt different regiments, and al«o from the Navy after twelve months' service I — -O:— & SWanGC2.-L. A gentleman called at a Swansea- l-.v teller's house the other day and asked for the master." whereupon the mispus said, He's practising his scales." "Oh!" epid the inquirer, T didn't know be was a musician." He's not." said the wife; there's no music about him just now. He's simply judg- ing fivepennyworth's, and those kind of scales take a lot of practice. I can t.;ll vou. -:0.- The kindergarten had been studtinrtita wind all week—its power, effects. eto- until the subject had been pretty well ex- hausted. To stimulate interest, the kin- dergsirtner said, in her most enthusiastic manner, Children, as I oame to school to-day in the tram car the door opened and something came softly in and kissed me on the cheek. What do you think it was?" And the children, joyfully answered, The conductor." -:0: The Right Hon. W. Brace, M.P., once told Awstin" a yarn showing Capt. Hi ley's ready eummiilg up of the Radnor- shire farmer. Mr. Brace was going to preach at a country Baptist chapel, when Mr. Hiley met him and drily re- marked When the secretary asks you what your fee don't say theN is no Î: or you'll get nothing. I know; I I ve been there. Don't say 10s. or yon will shock him. Say you will take a øheèp. and he will agree; for they have plenty of gheep to epsre-but they don't like to part with money."




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