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What the Kaiser said when he read the news: "0! 0! Antonio!" Young man, are vou in the "W.T.C.F.?" —the VVait-till-called-for-Battalion. Amongst the local r<ecruits last week-end were two married men, one with sev chil- dren. Frorq -?xX>00<? wby, e' From Swansea docks: "Mean; why, 'e's that there mean 'e only 'aves a drink when 'e's thirsty." You should hear two "specials," docks- men, swop yarns of their experiences when on duty. Well, there! A company of Swansea "Tommies" were under fire on Saturday. The fire was in Whyndam-stre.et, and they rendered very useful assistance. The actress who pourtrayed the i ess" in a "screen" drama at the Carlton last week appeared in the flesh at the Swansea Grand Theatre recently. All alcoholic drinks were stopped at the Clyne Valley Races on Monday, and it is singular that CidV>r was the most popu- lar horse of the day's meeting. A steamer arrived in Port Talbot docks during the week-end named "The Citv of Swansea." Strange to relate there was not a single Abertawe man on board. A Penybont District councillor has joined the Colours, and there is a sort of competi- r tion between him and his two sons—also in j khaki—to see wh" will get to France first. At the Liand y si ul Whitsun festival the massed schools readered the special anthem, "Cynhyrfair Storm" (Mr. Ll. Bevan, Swan- sea). The organist was Mr. Ll. Bevan. The old-time Aunt Sallies are now dressed up in modem guise. For instance, on the Swansea Sands one is invited to down "Tired Tim," "Weary Willie," and the "Kaiser." A white-clad little girl fainted during the children's festival proceedings at Ndath on Monday. "I got well enough to have tea with the others," she later on informed her parents. < 0 The Swansea parks; and particularly Cwm- donkin and Brynmili, are looking their love- U<?t .?mt nw. By, the way, is there any ?ecesa?y !or ciö;singt!H'\bwr 'g'?e at the -es% v ie [Jplands Park? ;plaj?ds Park' The soldiers vbo lost their lives in the dis- tressing railway accident on Saturday last t r e,ts i. r, c died for their country as surely as had they fallen in battle, "for they serve ako who only stand and wait." "I know I'm pretty reglar in my 'a,bits-, but 'ow do that bloke in the fried-fish shop | switch off the lights every night when I passes on my way 'ome'Cos then 'e knows it's gone eleven, a'oourse." | Swansea Sands were thronged on. Bank Holiday. One of the most amusing sights was a youn,g woman who got "stuck" on the aerial switchback. She fell into the net; but her troubles did not end there' In the Canadian contingent," writes a friend in Canada to a "Daily PoM porter, "80 per cent. were of British birth, so don't forget that when you shout, Hur- rah for Canada.' But there are others to come. In spite of the warm summer-like wea- ther which prevailed on Whit-Monday there was little bathing indulged m on the Aber- aivon beach. Noticeable amensrst the thou- sands of pramenadea-s ware hu^'reds of the igible kreut specie. j It was generally conceded in connection with the Sunday schools' festival ni, Neath OIl Whit-Monday that the singing of the Herbert-road "demonstrators" was quite superior to that of all others. Yes, just as the smile of the Rev. T. W. George, was the f sweetest. One young sihirker, nearly six toot high, and smoking a cigar (thus, presumably, proving his fitness), swaggered down High- street, Swansea, on Monday with three "patriotic badges" stuck on him. Fair play to the girlies, they all gave him a "miss." A group of ha l f-a-dozen young slackers stood idly in the Neath square yesterday. "Well, this is a day," observed' one, "nothing to do and nowhere to go.Kit- chener could do with the lot of you," ex- plained a passer-by "why not pass the doctor now?" OJ The "business" of the Swansea Police Court, supposed to have been conducted "as usual" on Whit-Monday, was not held. Hence the feelings of the forlorn pressman who had been "luxuriously" lounging in the press-box for half an hour when he was in- formed that the proceedings were held over J X A young man was searching for a sover- eign which he had dropped in Page-ttreet, Swansea. He heard it click on the pave- ment and then it disappeared. Subsequently he found it in the ridge of his turned up trousers; the coin had dropped on to the pavement and bounded on to his trouser leg. And then he proceeded joyfully on his way. In fairness to the manhood of Swansea, those present on the Mumbles Pier on Sun- day afternoon must learn that the few young "no hatters" who were the subject of so much derision and contempt were holiday visitors, not townsmen. That these fellows j could swagger around unashamed in the pre- sence of men wounded and stricken fighting their country's battles is an incident that I calls aloud for oompulsory service.—("Pro Patria. ") A certain member of the Salisbury Club, invariably arrives late for the social enter- j ta.inments held in connection with their nu- merous patriotic efforts by the members of the club. His reason for so doing is that he so much enjoys the "house-full" smile with which he is greeted by Hall Porter West, a genial soul, but one whose views as expressed of what should be done to the Kaiser asd Old Tirpz makes the Huns' "frightfulness" I appear paltry. I EVVIVA ITALIA How about those white helmets, Captain Thomas ? All Swansea and his wife seemed out and about on Sunday evening. The Theatre Royal is militant. This I week there is a repertoire of war dramas. The annual (inspection oi the Swansea Police will take place on Wednesday next. I It is rarely that Mr. John Williams, M.P., misses a Sunday service at Capel c, rr e r. On the authority of Inspector Davies, who knows his Mumbles like a father, the village is i uH oi visitors. I is iujl o?; Forewarned, forearmed. This is a Por- j tugueae shop," announces a large poster in a little Strand eating-house. A Swansea "spccial," in the prime of life, wishes to run anybody 80 yards his own age. A match may be arranged. Elephants bathing in the sea provided crowds of Swansea people with an after- church entertainment on Sunday.  Ww not a recrujÙg Sunday? A" very prominent Swansea man advocated the other day that churches hcnld take the lead. The poor hippopotamus, because of his un- sociable- habits, was denied the chance of the free bath he yearns for in Swansea Bay on Sunday. Swansea Italians were proud men on Mon- day morning, and one and all looked as though they would have liked to tackle i a loc"l German f' a start. .1"<1> 'I I. A Swansea man, well advanced 1n years, j Iis credited vith < !wav5 carrying hi" wiU about v. lth him in his pocket. Where there's a will there's a way. i I 4-0<1.: Who is the West Wdes ot&cer who pub- licly reprimanded two of his men for dub- bins; some yom?g U:n not in khaki as cowards," and afterwards rewarding them in private? 'Ark at tin lions," said Tommy on Vic- tori.a. Park on Sunday; "there's roarin' for you. "Pooh," said Billy, disdainfully; "that's nnffin. Ought to 'ear my farver I when 'is dinner isn't ready <1>t--0- A story is told oi a letter addressed to a I Swansea gentleman who died in England last I week being opened gome yeare ago by an- other gentleman of the tiorae name in Bryn- road. And thereby hangs quite a story. I At an inquest held at Swansea on Satur- day the hearing had to lv:> delayed for three- quarters of an hour in order to enable the doctor, who had certifie.. the death of the deceased, to vie,* and c arniue the body. <i  -< x ?- "-?!' A lot o< oar-Rcdd.j: ?'f'){ ?-?L?!- wondering they \v<rc last W'hit-Moid8.;r. \.nd a lot of those at home who have not enlisted a" also wondering where they will be next Whit-Monday. Miss Effie Mann, the musical comedy actress, whose father is Mv. Tom Maim, the Labour leader, and formerly of Swansea, well make her debut en the variety stage next week, when she will appear at the Coliseum. Charlie Chaplin, the bioscope "George Robey," still maintains his popularity! A number of smaiii boys took such a fancy to a Life-size figure of him exhibited outside the Carlton Cinema that they purloined it! On Oy;-i tenn out'ruud on Sunday after- noon, a tall, eld.sriy man oi distinctly mili- tary appearance, was observed to stop dead and gaze intently at a group of young, well set-up men of eligible age in mufti, who were standing idly on a street corner. He never said a word, but his look was scorching, and the slackers; gaze fell before his. .4 The fact that the Swansea Rugby Club loyally decided to close down at the out- break of the war will not be lost sight of by the Swansea public when the game recom- mences. The game will receive added stimu- lus from all true sportsmen, and it will be a, feather in the cap of amateur sport. The members of the club have appreciated the club's sacrifice for their country, and though there was no football last season, the members' subscriptions have been even larger than during the previous year. Soldiers as a rule do not take much in- tel est m Parliamentary proceedings. Lord Grenfell, however, is an exception, for he ) regulartly attends th? debates in the House, of Lords. He has a keen sense of humour, I and some good stories are told of him. Once he sent, a drawing of an episode in some Afghan fighting to a.n illustrated paper, and to his astonishment found, when pub- shed, that some palm trees bad been added. He protested, but was blandly assured the public expected palm trees in "African" scenery. j  -v- v About 9.50 on Saturday night groups of people 1Jl St. Helen's district and Lower Ox ford-street were cricking their necks sky- ward in the effort to disoern German Zep- pelins. For a whirring, grating sound was Aggressively audible. Sortie eyes finding that which they sought actually perceived airships—which were not there. At the cilose expert opinion was c-i-vided in attribut- ing the strange jarring noise to a steamer blowing off steam Lt the, docks, and the Bos- tock and Worn bell's electric installation in Victoria Park getting right for Monday's fchow. In the vicinity of Birminghafn. Coven- try and other large towns, it is alleged by the police that man- persons posing as bona- fide iravellers--i, e., persons who are out ior business or pleasure, and are not less than three miles distant from the place in which they have spent the preceding night—walk into the outside districts merely to obtain intoxicating drink during closed hours, thus stultifying the regulations imposed in the industrial centres to prevent interference with the adequate output of munitions." Thus a Birmingham paper. The innocents! Are they only unearthing the "bona-fides' new? Mr. A. W. Samuel voiced a veay general opinion when he condemned the Govern- mant's action in throwing cold Water on the I Voluntary Training Corps all over the 1 country. The fact that 476 out of the 800 who have been connected with the Swansea Rugby Voluntary Training Corps have since joined the Colours proves beyond a doubt what an excellent recruiting ground the Voluntary Training Corps has been for Kitchener's new armies. Yet when men of neoruitable age wished to join they had to sign a form agreeing to join the regular Army if called upon to do so, thus imposing t a form. of compulsion upon those who were willing and eager to learn drilll and shooting for any emergency which might a.rise. whilst. the slacker escaped scot free. A. t. J I A notice on a Swa;i.sT? ?trf?i orga.1: "W? are Britishers." Now, Morris fconl How about that, platoon of yours? i Swansea has a Spanish barmaid in a wel1.t known house "down town." t Sir Robert Morris's elder son was fighting1 three miles away when his younger brother was killed- A gen Lie reminder to the weather cleric from the children: "Please don't forget it is our annual tea on Monday." Sir Robert Morris returned to Swansea on Friday evening. He had none tc lendoni before hearing of his son's death. f Bostock and Wombwell's don't allow look- ing glasses anywhere near the h'ppo's cage." He might see what he looks like—then t Neither the coalowner nor the consumer seems anxious to pay the miners' bonus. But the miner doesn't care so long as he gets it. <xx5«sxs>^ Tinplates, according to an authority, wilt shortly reach 20s. a box. "Waters" to-day are fetching practically the same price 08: "primes." A noteworthy feature of "Lttle Mise. Ragtime" is that the "principal pirl," Miss. Isa Bowman, has written the book and, lyrics herself. < 0 <x!x > It is significant of the splendid health of the Army that only one death from disease has occurred amongst all the Swansea men who have died at the front. '< S X < XSX A small boy entertained himself by drain- ing what was left in nearly empty ginger- beer bottles outside a docks hotel the othei day. It's thirsty weather. Lieut. John Mo ris. Sketty Park, who has, been killed, received an accident, shortly after he went to the front through a gun accidentally going off. He, however, quick- ly recovered. A Swansca, officer in the know says that when compulsory service comes the present "slackers" won t hear overmuch about separation allowances and the like. The small boy in the street heaved deep sigh uf relief when he was told that Italj was going on the Allies' side. The suppl3 of ice-cream is now assured. A member of the Swansea Chamber oi Commerce heard some unpleasant tbingf about himself the other day. He was stand- ing on one side of one of the entrance pill art ailld discussion proceeded on the other. -< .:>-> Everyone bcur. under the Union Jack whether on land or sea, becomes legally British. This feature, absent from th. ?3 now proving of great value to ipaa? aliens jl ie0nve--ny origin. ci><î- ,f'r"'  'fJ"ol, "'t1. '.1- Cf" 'i'-? ??p'?, to '? M?nn ^>ks 'iPtstfootf^.r^b. Is''Mr. Rogpr Beck who handed in hie form, afterwa?. takM; his place in the ranks and going i.hrongl drill with great earnestness. What a splen did example to some of the slackers. Mr. A. W. Samuel, who presided at th general meeting of the Swansea Cricket Clu on Friday evening, has occupied almas every position connected with the club dur ing his long membership, except that c wicket-keeper. He said hehad had a chanc to fill that role, but declined it. < S x!>-  -$-< x? Tho iumates of the Llanelly Workhous are increasing in number, and recently th population of Bryntirion exceeded 200 fo the first time. Nothing is overlooked in th matter of providing comforts The Guardian have ordered 36 special easy chairs with higi backs, and in order that everyone may b posted up with the latest war news, ten Loo doii dailies are provided. A retired colonel was boasting that b. hadn t drulli,- a glass of water in twent;" years. One day as he was taking a railwa journey the train was wrecked while erase ing a bridge and plunged into the river They pulled the colonel out with a boathook and when they got him on shore one of hi friends rushed up, crying, "Colonel I Ar you hurt?" No," he replied; "neve swallowed a drop I" 3xS~sjx S>«$, There were anxious times at the Swan sea Police Court on Friday. The Bench ha. to sit still for twenty minutes whilst an ir f terpreter was secured to conduct a case untIE I the Aliens' Restriction Order, much to thei annoyance. Also they were disposed < blame the police for the state of affairs, bu f they never mentioned anything of the qc- j casion when the police had to wait threo- quarters of an hour ior a magistrate toi put in an appearance to enable the court to commence! Such is life. "I aim pleased to say we had the best of the Germans, and I hope we will keep on getting the best of them, so that the war <J will come to a cpc*d?- conclusion. I then come back to have 'a few decent pints j in the once more, because every time we have a chance to have a pint out here it is not worth drinking, although it is only a penny a pint. Back for the Lincoln (sure winner)." Letter from a Swan- sea soldier m the 2nd Velsh. It may move the T.T. and Anti-Gambling Leaguef to tears, but it reveals the phlegmatic matter of fact spirit that makes for victory- Private W. J. Lambountfc, of the 51h I Dragoon Guards, lias written a letter to tias little daughter Irene, who resides with her ¡ parents at 19. Freeman-street, Brynhyfryd. which explains itself. He writes Just'a I few line..s from Daddy, hoping they will find you and Mammy in the best of "health. I am pleased to let you know that I am in the pink. Mammy lias written to me and told me that you are always asking when I am 'I coming home, and yo.u say that all the other little girls got. their Daddies. Well, if all those little gil'lR' Daddies joined the Army, just like your fuddy, the war would soonA!I t.'Ver, then I could come home to you and Mammy. Cheer up, Daddy will soon be home. Now pray for Daddy every night, •asi^q }itiO STOtpi-39 .re&p ioillo 8II{" Ilti ptw Referring to "the Duke of Beaufort's birth day, the "Evening Standard" states that his grace has maintained the great, hunting traditions of his family as Master of the; Badminton Foxhounds, and is said to be the best amateur huntsman in England. He is an A.D.C. to the King, and is the Heredi- tary Keeper of Raglan Castle. Raglan was built by Sir William ap Thomas, a follower of Henry V., and many historical events have taken place within its walls. It fonned a refuge for Charles 1. after the Brittle of Naseby; axid in 1646 sustained n memorable siege when the octogenarian Marquess of Worcester held it against Fairfax and a be- sieging force of over three thousand men. The garrison marched out in triumph, but t.he Roundheads seized the brave old mar- quess and sent him a priscDer to Loudon,

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