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There isn't a Scotsman in the Swansea Police Force. Two thousand one hundred bad a joy ride in Swansea's prison van last year. Of these only 523 belonged to Swansea. One hundred and fifty-seven stray dogs were seized by the Swansea police last year. Now if they could only seize stray cats The following notice appears in a Taibach t'hop window:—"The d-l wants your souls to ruin. We want your soles to mend." A workman digging a pit at, Llandovery came aoroes a sot of false teeth in excel- lent preservation. Qi-t-stion-was he tooth- less ? Influenza when it visits Swansea is said to jjati from Cwmrhydyceirw, where the ground is low-lying, liable to inundation, and marshy. The average height of the Neath borough policeman is Sit. llin., and the average age, 36. Bit too far gone for a white hope." Are we becoming more forgetful The number of articles found in hackney car- riages, streets, and public places at Swansea during last year was 389. A year ago the clash of grand opera in the two Swnnsô3. theatres was widely de- plored. The recurrence this week of the same defect seems inexplicable C> Go up one, Neath. Of the 58 persons I proceeded against for drunkenness last year only 29 were residents of the borough. We don't keep count, but that's what the annual report say?. During the past year one chief constable, one chief inspector, one sergeant, and two constables were pensioned at Swansea. One sergeant died, five constables resigned, and twelve joined. "Ernani," at the Theatre Royal, was so inspiring as to induce regret that so many lovers of\ the best music, superbly inter- preted, deprived themselves of the pleasure of heal in a: it. ?  Neath residents are getting more careful about their possessions. But still 138 doors and windows were found by the police to be insecure during last year. The previous year the number totalled 288. Things are getting warm at Llandovery Workhouse. At the last meeting of the Guardians the master applied for a pair of handcuffs and a staff for defence against the vagrants—who seem very "wild that way. The Barnslev team on Saturday contained the names of three parsons and two doctors. This should be choerv news for their o;: ponents, for in the event of injuries there is physical succour at hand, or spiritual consolation if they chance to be mortally wounded. The Welsh fifteen who ran through the Scotch on Saturday had a "good press" on Monday. It WAS generally recognised that the Rev. Alban Davies was an inspiring leader of a great side. Almost unanimously the Welsh forwards were acknowledged to be the best eight brought together for many yeaTs. i "D. D. S." (Neath) writes in reply to a query in this column by a contributor, who alluded to the patronage of the places of amusement locally, and who asked "What class is being pinched?" He ("D. D. says: "They can find a shilling to>go to the field or to entertainments, but the grocer has got to wait, and that is the reason for so many bankruptcies." Mr. Thompson (defending in a vehicle on the wrong si.j )f the road charge at Swansea) questioned whether there was space for a motor-c-ii between a tram stopped outside the G.P.O. and the pave- ment. "I have just been stepping it," Mid Mr. Thompson. So have I, sir, re- piied the police officer in the Nue. Mr. Thompson replied that perhaps he didn't have and delicately left it at that. Overheard in Windsor-road. Neath :— Mrs. Jones Indeed, Mrs. Wil- liams, and you are looking well. And 'ow is the baby?"—Mrs. Williams He's champion for six moiuhs, isn't he?" —Mrs. Jones Iss, indeed. Been shop- ping, I s'pose?"—Mrs. Williams: "No. p I ri g I've been to the pictures. I takes 'im every Saturday night. He 'ave been since he were six weeks' old." A Swansea man, Dr. R. T. Edwards, has been re-appointed, at an enhanced salaiy, as medical officer of Merionethshire. Some little time ago Dr. Edwards sent in his rr- signation. and his re-appointment has given great satisfaction to a large circle of friends. He is the second South Walian on whom the plums of the county have been be- stowed. The other is Chief-constable Richard Jones, a Cardiganshire man. will* 0k nl> Welsh half-back play ii.)w possesses more or the robust nature of rl Rugby and lei,, of the deep strategy common to the "Dickv Owen era. The old Irish national packs were rather wonderful. We have been apt to think of them as the most riithlesg megers imaginable. The Welsh Union, how- o\er, has organised a scrummage worthy to be rated with those Irish packs in which Le Fanu, the Ryans, Rook, Tedford, Crean and Clinch were such giants. That great fight which Wales made at Twickenham bad again roused the indigenous enthusriii' ir. of Welshmen for their Rugby.—("Morning Post.") i With the price of ooal at 30s. a ton. Swan- sea has a gold store as well as a cold store coming. 'Amongst the bilis presented for payment at Swansea Guardians' Finance Committee on Thursday was one for eightpence. There was no discussion. The "protesting" of the "limbs of La- bour" at the Neath Town Council on Thurs- day reminded one of the line M'ethinks he doth protect too much." -V -1,P 9 "Ratepayer" (Neath) wants to know whe- ther peoplc, are sent to the 'local Council to represent the public. Well, up to now, we believe, such has been the popular super- stition. -4- "Wanted a boy who can walk," was an advertisement exhibited by a Cardiff trades- man on Thursday, proudly says an up-line paper. Here, in Swansea, we want beys who can run. It made the mouths of some of the people at the Licensing Sessions water to hear the recital of the trade done in barrels and in dozens of flagons, ales, stouts, and gallons of spirits at each house. A membei of the Swansea Town Council was prominent at a committee meeting this week. At the close another member asked if he was a member of that particular com- mittee. Now that was unkind. The big dimeusions ot the flagon trade at the different houses are one of the chief features that strike the eye at the Seas-ioms. Some house; dispose of fiv-s hundred fhugor* a week. Evidently the flagon trade isn't flag-gin. "I'm not going to see any more Soccer until the Swans get the net made larger, or acquire a smaller ball, so that they can a few goals." Thus a well-known Swansea "enthusiast." Perhaps the shilling gate did it. The members of the St. George's Male Voice Party, at iiy rate, are prepared for the time when woman reigns," as at the recent bachelors' social tea thev served up, cleared up, and VZ"A" un. i%?o break- ages reported. Proof of the mild weather, which is pre- vaJing just at present, wa? given on Thurs- day, when a party of Ltdi?s and gentlemen I were seen pi-wading down High-street in an open carriage, and attired in something very nearly approaching summer costume. "Anent Thursday's Post Bag anent 'foot- j ball an d sportsmanship,' will you please disassociate most distinctly Rugby football from the implication contained therein. (This is from "Prospero, who has recently bought a new trombone and is using it a lot.) What brou £ .i rtc-.r* ,) rjn or ihc weather beaten old "shell back" who stood on the "round-head" at the North Dock locks were the suggestions for getting off the ship that hid grounded as offered by an elegant young "shoppo" out for a Thursday! afternoon airing. Anybody who wants to understand how important a backdoor ca.n be should attend the Licensing Sessions. The fact that smok- ing room windows can't be opened is another pv>int that becomes of moment on such occa- sions. The real question—whether the b vbituies want these windows oper-iz:n ,T, touched at all. Now that Ffoireistfacih is booming so la rgely, the residents are looking forward to that greater Swansea, when a good service of cars will be running through that and the sur- rounding districts. It will also be a boon to those Swansea ites who have to travel there to and from work daily. The justification of the Swans' directorate for the charge of one shilling for Saturday's Cup-tie at the Vetch Field was not long coming aoout, as on the following Wedlles- day 80 spectators were injured by the over- crowding of the Sheffield Wednesday i ground on the occasion of a cup-tie re-play. Surely the argument of Councillor E. S. Phillips, at yesterday's meeting of the Neath Town Council, was one of the most barren things conceivable. He accused the man in the street of spreading f?Ise rum- ours about the gas undertaking without get- ting at the true facts. Where an earth is the "man in t?e street" or anyone else to  g't them from? asks Hotspur." ) g ?t them froi-n? :Lsks Hotspur What concerns Swansea docksmen is not that Johnson JS a coloured boxer, but that he is a man of colour who prefers not to re- turn to the States to face an odious charge. TllJ black fraternity around the docks are aware of this. What then are they to think of the lionising of such a man in a white man's land?—(" Prospero.") Councillor J. R. Jones made it perfectly ekar at yesterday's meeting of the Neath Tcwn Council that it was not he who gave the show away to the Press. So he can- not bo the hospitable member of the Coun- cil who, over tilie teacups and bread and jam, discursed freely the affairs of the local gas undertaking with a local preseman. A paragraph appeared in Thursday's Postbag column giving a Swansea boy's effusion all the way from Minnesota en- couraging the Swans "on the way to Syden- ham." This was tragic enough, but on Thursday evening an enthusiast who had just returned from a trip to the Mediter- ranean. and hadn't taken the trouble to find out the position, was offering long odds in a local beer bureau that the Vetch Fiptd lot would win the semi-final. And, all honour to them, no one took him on Ilston's Rise to Fame. "-This expres- --ion in capital letters was found at the head of a column in the London Daily Mail a few days ago (says the Gower Parish Magazine "). and one wondered what could have brought the ritme our distant little parish into such prominence. It turned out to be a column of racing new. but that only made the surprise still greater. I: appears that Ilston was the name of a hore, owned by Sir George Bullough, who very cleverly won the Stayers' (three mile) steeple- chase at Birmingham. An enjoyable time was spent at the Hotel Enterprise, Swansea, Saturday night, the occasion being the presentation to Mr. Sid Jones, eldest son of Mr. Eli Jones, sec- reta.ry of the R. and S.B. Railway, who lHV been promoted from Meswrs. BaldwinV King's Dock works to their Panteg works. Mon. The presentation took the form of a euit-case and outfit. also an umbrella, suit- ably inscribed. Messrs. Whittington (who presided), Devonald and W. Morgan spoke of Mr. Jones' sterling qualities, and said he carried with him the cood wishes and es- teem of all his late fellow employes. The à musical entertainment provided was of a first-class order. Iri .tie do! The singing at Cardiff Arms Park was below par. Even Sos.pa.r1 Fach fadled to catoli on. The severest critic of the Welsh team to- day will be the man who did not go to Car- diff but took hi wife to a Swansea theatre matinee. The ordinary Swansea man is prepared resignedly for the days now approaching, when it will be necessary for him to apply at the Town Hall for a permit 60 obtain a glass of beer.—(" Prospero.") 4> 0 <1 »■ Referees get little sympathy foT per- forming their'thankless task, and when Mr. Farrant got in the way of a particularly hot shot from Bassett, and stopped it with the small of his back, there was a general and unfeeling guffavv Wfc en the Llanellv motor mechanics dined together the. other evening the meru con- tained the following items :-Petrol Filler Entree, Petrol Tank Soup. Carburetter Plug, Game, Magneto Meat, Big End Dessert, Exhaust Pipe Wines. 0 o e 4 1b Harmonic" is in accord with" Pros- pero that in the rhapsodial movements leading up to the final triumphant chorus of praise the judicious use of the trombone is very effective. (There's more in this than meets the eye!) "Well, I'm blowed," said the Rugby man, if these Soccer m.anagers don't take the cheese.' The crowd on Satujday poured out of the Vetch Field into the street* already billed with the next week game, which happens to be with Caerphilly. Mr. Mervyn Peel, the Unionist candi- date for East Carmarthenshire, does not mince words about his opinion of his Ma- jesty's Ministers. At the recent dinner of the Gower Unionists he declared that the "spirit of a bookmaker presided at the Im- perial Treasury." o* o As a rule the overnight roysterer pro- tests stoutly that he was not "overcome." Not so he who learned that he bad entered a poiice station, planted down his three- pence, demanding a St-at under the impres- sion that it was a cinema. Then he owned and paid up like a man. 4. Although they were certain of a jolly good hiding, Treharris were determined to do- one thing-stop Bill- Ball scoring. They were ailnws1;" successful, but the elusive -Bailie," afilt-t-being vigorously pounced on ajl .through the game, managed to score < before the end. ¡J (" It is said' the reason why the Carman theiwhire .Coitflty Council meetings are at often rowdy II because the members ar' hungry. They do not adjourn for lunch, but rash tha«fh tic business in order U vatcL: ifc'fir'' w-,» told, are invariably savage, for famine tuawi out the worst qualities in humanity. It seems rather unkind of us to quote the fcllowing from a contemporary on Saturday, but some people are SO 'nfallible :—" When Scotland scored ri.-i-t sensational try of tl.eirs, three minutes before the start,' it looked as though the optimistic utterances of the critics north of the Tweed were going to be justified c: 8:-$: $' Jack Bancroft substantially contributed to the Welsh score on Saturday. He prac- tically compelled the kick-out from behind the Scotch goal-line which yielded the pen- alty goal that the last minute of the first half gave the Welsh a lead of two points, and his shot for goal from the last try—from a very awkward angle—added a couple of paints to the aggregate. Taffy and Sandy fraternised in Swansea on Saturday night, for it so happened that while the Welsh team were running through the Scotch on Cardiff Arms Park, Mr. An- drew Paton, the imperturbable Soot and crack billiard play of the Swansea Salis- bury Club, was at Pontypridd amassing the points that brought him the amateur bil- liard championship of Wales. There wn-s a downfall of old Interna- tionals at the Wales v. Scotland match on Saturday. After the half-time interval the two benches bearing them collapsed to- gether. Happily, no one was injured. Probably the occupants all swerved together over some incident in the game, and thus hrought ab'ut the strange happening of a concurrent collapse of two sefai-ate tiers of seats. Wh en B-e.vnon first m?t Led >ux the bulk of the audience were convinced that the Welsh lad was winning the re-opening of a wound over the > ■- eye placed him at such fk disadvanta.g'; that his principal second deemed it expedient to throw up the sponge. In the course of the second en- count-er on Saturday evening last it was reluctantly recognised that the Frenchman was too strong and clever for him. Fastidious" (Swansea ) writes—we sus- pect with a shade of sark":—" I quite agree with Fairplay.' Let it be a crime of lese m.aiestie to mention the numerous lapses of Mr. Lloyd George in his poet's frenzy. We should not say Toe the line,' or allude to the broken promises and the 'right about turns' of Mr. Asquith. Let there be no hitting on the head, no hitting oi the body, no hitting anywhere' by the Unionists." 9 • Q* Whenever one leaves one's house unoccu- pied information should be given to the police. Captain AH Thomas, the Swansea Chief Constable, in his aimual report states: "I have to thank the householders who were good enough to give the police notice that their hous>b would be left unoccupied, and would take :t as a great favour if all house- holders who have not yet adopted this prac- tice would do so (and state where the keys can be obtained if required), so that their houses and other property might receive special attention during their absence." Some time ago, while the great stack at Llanelly was being slightly diminished in height, the steeplejacks became engaged in a conversation with a Seasider. "No one in this tcwn has the pluck to go to the top of ,?j? I ) i s h re p l-?',l d this stack, said one. "Ruobish replied the Sensider; "there are plenty here who would do it if thev had the chancc, and you can take it from me that someone will do the trick this week for certain." Of course, the steeplejack was slightly amused at these remarks. Judge, therefore, of his surprise the next morning when on preparing to ascena th.e stack he observed something cr someone sitting on top enjoying the scenery. After a tim." this intrepid individual de- scended, when it turned to be the man-with whom he had held the convers.ation given above. "Good heavens! man," ejaculated the stec-pk-jack, "weren't you afraid?" "Not a bit." replied the brave So^panite, "except that I had a terrible fright when I thought I saw a was>p flying around me when I was half-wav down."