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THE OMNIBUS. -I

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THE OMNIBUS. I (Things Seen and Heard by the Conductor.] I The match on Saturday last proved A Draw." ? Justwed: Hadn't we better bum all those old love letters I sent you? Mrs. Justwed: Oh no, Jack. Perhaps after we have been married a while wo'll get bored some evening and want something funny to read. A somewhat unpalatable topic. A lady recently lost her false teeth. Gossip is a beast of prey that does not wait for the death of the creature it devours. N.. Mysteries is a feature at the Palace this week, and attracting record houses. "Not in these" must be the favourite catch phraze in Bilshieland. A pajr of trousers cost £ 100 in Russia. The local Photographic Society propose organizing several interesting competitions during the winter months. < We live in a free country, and should have what we want." —The Chairman of the Llandilo Board of Guardians. The Penygroes Reception Committee have presented the relative of their fallen heroes with an oil-painting of the departed. A Cardiff man claims to have grown a King George potato weighing 21bs. lOozs. Can a Ammanford grower beat this? < Whether a local establishment proposes to go in fox a woollen factory can be linked up with the enthusiasm of the assistants. The Llandovery Food Committee, on Mon- day evening, slayed and buried the corpse of profiteering—to their own satisfaction. A correspondent says that he purchased a box of matches this week that were" match- less "—that is without lighting tops. "Your eyes have told me all, sang the young lady at the theatre recently. No wonder the gentleman in the box blushed. It is • aps ai i inevitable It is a queer, though perhaps an inevitable thing that the majority of us are slung into life without any training in the enjoying of it. A daring repetition of the spiral descent was attempted at the Ammanford Fair, when a fair and handsome young man fell from off the -wire." A pound of butter cost a Swansea man five shillings and sixpence at Llandilo Police Court last Saturday and his debut before the magistrates. The Llandovery Council must be waiting for the next war The seats provided for visitors still bear the inscription, For Wounded Soldiers." A discharged man pooh-poohs the offer of the Authority to grant the sum of £ 35 to purchase a horse. Recently we could get one at Ammanford for 10s.! < A wag describes the small village of Cynghordy, in Breconshire, as a land flowing with honey. If only milk" was substi- tuted, we would believe. Medical science may be right (says a correspondent) that green apples are good. Our office boy, however, has a good deal of inside in formation to the contrary. A Welsh minister on the way home was accosted by an old lady, who said: Oh, I much prefer the days when you preach, for then I can always get a good seat." When Mr. Lloyd George visited Haver- fordwest as the guest of Lord St. David's, some years ago, he sat in Cromwell's chair, still retained as an object of interest in the Council Chamber. An advertiser for a canvasser at Amman- ford states that the applicant must be a total abstainer, non-smoker, and of a religious cast of mind. Strange that nothing is mentioned of wings and angels. Overheard at our local place of amuse- ment. Where am I? remarked the beau- ti ful lady performer. Not in India," re- plied her male companion. Oh, no, a warmer place than that." It can never be denied that music hath charm, for recently a correspondent asks us to state the approximate number of the four- footed tribe prouling at dusk in the Tirydail neighbourhood. Sorry we cannot oblige. We little wonder that the noble art of boxing is discredited. One of our business men sustained a swollen hand through frus- trating an attempt at burglary last week. Maybe it was a case of lack of sleeping accommodation. « ? The sergeant had been having a very trying time with the very raw recruits. For a long while he kept calm, but at last, exasperated, he shouted: "Hang it all! I know I am not Mary Pickford, but you may have a look at me occasionally." » There is more drunkenness and rowdyism at Llandilo since the hours of closing of licensed houses have been extended," said a well-known temperance advocate at Llandilo Police Court last Saturday. And he spoke for Bridge Street. At a meeting of the Carmarthenshire In- surance Committee on Saturday, it was stated that in the Conwil district there were 325 panel patients unprovided for. A doctor had left the district and no successor had been appointed. Some had been transferred to other panels, but 325 remained. The magistrates clerk at Ammanford is responsible for another amusing story. Passing along one of our main thoroughfares, a lady, presumably noticing the longevity of the deco- rations erected in commemoration of Peace festivities by one of our local organisations, remarked: Well, Mr. when is this ere peace going to finish)" Whether motor cyclists are attempting to beat aeroplane records at Llandilo, or intr;J-1 ducing means for tk conversion of the former for stuntmg purposes, remains to be i judged from the description given by the police in a case of travelling to the danger of I the public. The burly arm of the law said: He simpl- flew past." This reminds us of a case noa:J at Llandovery, when the witness declared: He disappeared in a cloud of dust.

Llandovery Board of Guardians…

I Llandovery Gossip.

I ILlandilo Police Court.I

Lloyds Bank Limited.