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I FOOTBALL FIXTURES.--I

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[ ACROSS THE TABLE.

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[ ACROSS THE TABLE. Mr. Justice S Tutton'? Wtriciuros on the practice of offering ?>«oncy ;•> policv-m^en an interesting que.-lion. V.'Iien a householder is aroused from his rhiiiibt. by a who has discovered an open window, it is customary to reward the officer's vigilance with a slight gratuity. There is naturally a considerable difference between tipping" of this nature and the offer of money to a police- man who stops a motorist for exceeding the speed limit, remarks the Globe, but the anxious and law-abiding pat-erfamilias would perhaps welcome a judicial pronouncement 011 the subject. What the Irish call keening for the dead was heard only two years ago by a correspon- dent. but not in Ireland. It was in the remote island of Tiree, in the West-ern Hebrides. The place was a cemetery attached to an old Celtic church, not far from the house where Lady Victoria Campbell had lived. An old woman, with hair dishevelled and falling ove* her shoulders, was stooping over a grave and plucking off the grass in handfuls. Suddenly the quiet of an August evening was broken with a loud wail. The wail rose higher and higher until it could have been heard a mile away. When the grave was plucked bare the woman sat down by the grave, rocking herself rhythmically, and continued to keen for about half an hour. It was a weird sound in that lonely place. Lord Archibald Campbell, who was on the island at the time, said that the old woman had loet her husband five years before, and from time to time came to the cemetery to mourn him in this way. It was the language of another world and another civilisation. MT, Lee Temple's death is not the first occasion on which allegations of tampering with aeroplanes in order io produce a fatal accident have been made, says the Globe. Several such stories have already been circu- lated, and although no direct evidence has been obtained in any case it seems that air- men may have to contend with other risks tha.11 those usually associated with flying. The receipt of anonymous letters by flying men may be without significance, but all the same there is perhaps room for the investiga- ti-on-s of a Sherlock Holmes. Mrs. Florence L. Barclay, author of The Rosary," in a lecture at Morley Hall, the Hanover square headquarters of the Y.W.C.A., told a story of a little old maid who lives in a village in the north. She is ve<ry poor, and lives in a two-roomed cottage, but is very elegant, not only in her outward appearance but also in her diction. She is fond of using long words, and even short words, which do not always bear the meaning she attaches to them. Mrs. Barclay found her reading a work of fiction, and remarked that she would scarcely have suspected her of reading novels. Oh yes." she replied; "I read all kinds of literature; books of travel, mostly, and sometimes I peep into biography; but novels as well. You see. I am what is called a carnivorous reader." Tennyson orwe stayed at a little inn in Scotland. After his departure another guest, who had recognised him, asked the innkeeper: Do you ken who you had wi' you t' other "Naa. but he was a pleasant shcntleman." It was Tenmyson, the poet." "An' who may he be?" asked the landlord. Oh, he is a writer o' verses sich as ye see i' the papers." Noo, to think o' that! Jeest a public writer, and I gied him my best bedroom A weU-known schoolmaster at Higligaie was asked the other day what he regarded as the worst howler any of his pupils had ever perpetrated. After mature consideration he gave his vote to the following astounding statement, made by a boy a few months ago Salome was a young woman who d-ressed in beadis and danced at Harrod's." The life of a policeman not. so dull as some l people imagine. Waiting for a. 'bus in Trafalgar-square a few days ago I got into conversation with one of the men in blue. "Why, only the other night." said he. "I raw a gay old fellow throw his stick into the fountain and then try to make one of the Lions there jump in for it! It was an aw--Mv interesting game," said the young woman at luncheon in a smart West-End restaurant, who was telling a com- panion her experiences at a party. It's like this, you see." she pursued, "they say to you quickly, Name the most famous fisherman.' and you say.. Sir Isaac Newton. And what fish did he catch?" asked her friend. drily. "I thought, he .iat under a tree and caught apples." Well. I said; Sir Isaac Newton, and I won." responded the enthusi- astic and emphatic friend. "Father." said the small boy, will you give me something to buy a dog to go to the South Pole?" Ceria,inly not." said the parent. There are limits to juvenile extrava- gance. "Well, we're going to buy a dog or something for old Shack (such is juvenile irreverence) at. our school, and all the fel- lows are supposed to do something." Reluct- antly the parent; subscribed the equivalent of a dog's tail. This delicious effusion comes from a Ger- man guide-book: "The Rhine, which i. called by all Germans Father Rhine.' -is standing on a remarkable place not only in ideal respects. Lut in material prospects. Since many centuries are transported up and down stream immense quantities of goods, and he is giving an alive representation of the fluctuation of terrestrial riches. He is the best barometer in order to authenticate the increase or diminution of the national opulency. The increase and accumulation of riches bring with themselves a civilisation, what overtops the measure of the usual, it eliminating or bursting making way for a re- finement in all respects. On the one side tjle valuable fluvial route and on the other side the thirst of conquest conducted brave Roman legions to the banks of the Rhine. Very soon the burglar will cease to exist. Invention after invention makes his profes- sion less and less of a soft job. The latest burglar device is in connection with safes. When a burglar attempts to tamper with the safe, not only does he receive a shock and set bells ringing, but a light placed on the roof of the house is automatically switched on. Then the policeman, seeing the light, comes hot-foot on the scene. Z, In reply to a request from the Poacher that Johnny should be permitted to compete for one of the scholarships offered by the Man- chester Education Committee, the following reply was received You want to know why Johnny is not going in for scholarship. Well, I'll give you a few reasons: 1. Because if he passes the lot. it isn't worth the time spent on it. 2. Because he can learn enough at the rate he is going that will do him good. 3. Because he doesn't feel inclined, and I don't feel inclined to make him. 4. Because competition is too keen for him to become a teacher, and parsons and lawyers require plenty of capital and cheek. 5. Because I have had quite sufficient of the crammed subjects I have had in technical schools, &c. 6. Because I am very well satisfied with his progress, and I wish him to retain some of his bi-iin-power for a year or two. Hoping I have given you sufficient reasons. which might seem one-sided. Thanking you for ki :d inquiries, &c. With a fine regard for the proprieties, the lady valked into the jeweller's shop to have a spli iter removed from her finger. and with his n ver-failing politeness the jeweller took it out. He had hidden his primary surprise, but he could not control his features when the request came, "Do you mind putting it in an envelope for me?" In an envelope, ma'am?" he repeated. "Yes, please," re- plied the lady. Perhaps my husband will get the table planed if I show him the splinter."

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IPROFITABLE POULTRY CULTURE.

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FOUR LIVING GENERATIONS IN…

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