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HEREFORDSHIRE FINANCES. I

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THE POSTAL TROUBLE.

HOW DYSPEPTICS CAN EAT WHAT…

-I-.-NEWENT..-",-.. - - -…

IPROFITABLE POULTRY CULTURE.

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f ACROSS THE TABLE. ]

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f ACROSS THE TABLE. ] The story of the Government Department which addrc-ssed a reply to one of Bishop Temple's letters "F. Londin, Esq. is re- called by the various quaint episcopal signa- tures which have been appearing so freely in the papers just now i.n connection with the Kikuyu controversy. The newspaper editor, like the general reader, needs to be on his guard lest he perpetrate a similar er.ror. In some cases especially the disguise is very com- plete. Roffen," for instance, would hardly suggest Rochester to the uninitiated any more than "Ehor" would York. In ether cases the similarity between the Latin and the English is obvious enough— as in the cases of "Cicestr" for Chichester, "Cestr" for Chester, "Ko-rwic" for Nor- wich. "OxoTil" for Oxford, "Petriburg" for Peterborough, and Carliol" for Carlisle. There seems, by the way, a curious lack of uniformity in this matter in the practice adopted—the Latinised style being employed, contrary perhaps to the general belief, only in a comparatively few instances. In the case of not only all the more modern Sees, but also of many of the older cnes, such M Ely, Hereford, Gloucester, Lichfield, and Lincoln, the straightforward English style is copied. Worcester may also be included in the list now, though when Dr. Gore held the See he used to sign himself C. Wigorn." Apropos of the confusion- so-metimes arising from the official signatures of Prelates, it may be re 11od. says the Westminster Gazette, that 1' signature of the Archbishop of Can- ierb" was once merely n Cant." This lent Itself >o obviously to the purposes of the scoffer, and it was altered accordingly to Cantua.r." Sir Algernon West tells a story of his son, wlieii private secretary to Mr. Forster in Ireland, eivinga long letter on the Irish question addressed to his chief and signed J. Ebor." Thinking it unnecessary to 'uble Mr. Forster with this unknown; gent' man's suggestions, he rent a formal acknowledgment to J. EI)oi-, E-sq., York." that being the only address lie could find on the letter. An indignant letter arrived in due course from the Archbishop explaining matters. Mr. Chahiberlain's retirement brings an in- teresting reminiscence from "West African." who writes from the Hotel Cecil: "I would like to mention an incident which shows the mind and temper of the man, and why our people are right in extending to him the per- sonal admiration they do. regardless of party. A frigid of mine, once an official of the Colo- nial Office, now rotting in a swamp in East Africa, used to tell me the story. He was ap- pointed to a post in a distant colony, and on landing, his personal belongings, through the carelessness of those in charge of the Govern- ment tug, were capsized into the sea and lost. It was a serious matter for him, for over F,100 was involved, and he had little or nothing more. The Governor would hear nothing of the elaim which my friend made upon the local administration, and, my friend then wrote direct to Mr. Chamberlain. With- in two months he got his £ 100. It was that kind of personal attention which led Colonial Office men in Mr. Chamberlain's day to re- gard him with affectionate respect." It is the misfortune of theological disputes that their asperities often survive their merits. What the Eusebians and the Athana- siam; fought about few, save students, could tell to-day, hut there are plenty of "pro- fane writers to remind us that the former called the latter an unscrupulous set of liars. and accused St. Atliaivasius of blas- phemy. Topladv's controversy with John Wesley is chiefly remembered now by the fact that the author of "Rock of AgfI" re- ferred to the founder of Methodism as one whose Satanic guilt was only equalled by his Satanic shamelessness," and when Wes- lev, not without, reason, declared that lie "declined to fight with chimney-sweeps," Toplady "drew off" with a polite reference to his opponent a.s "an old fox tarred and feathered. In Scotland the laymen, and more espe- cially the lay-women (if the phrase be per- missible), are as eager partisans in religious controversy as the ecclesiastics. An old lady in the North was once asked by her minis- ter, as she lay on her deathbed, whether she had any hope of salvation. Ay, I liev that," was her reply; "I ha'e never entered an Established Kirk sin' the Disruption A new society, called the Controllers, hM been started in variety-land, and is officially called a society for the purpose of learning to control ourselves." According to the rules, if one member catches another using bad language, losing his temper, getting in- toxicated,, or telling Rabelaisirui yarn.s, he can demand a fine of sixpence from the offending member. What an interesting aide- light on the manners and customs of MIlle performers! But the richest thing in connec- tion with the society, declares the Daily Skctc.h, is that the originators expressly state: "We admit ladies." At a dinner-party given by the Archbishop of Dublin to some of his fellow-Bishops his Grace, noticing that the wine wa.s not circu- lating, remarked to the Bishop of Cork, "If you are Cork, you need not stop the bottle." "Your Grace should draw nie out, was the witty reply. To which the Archbishop re- joined, "What! You don't mean to say you want to be screwed! An amusing story was rocr-ntly told by Mr. Raymond Priestley, when speaking of the work of the northern party engaged in the South Pole expedition, of two blue- jackets who were having a dispute as to the exact position of a public-hou.se. In the end the argument resolved itself into a hey, and the loser was to stand a supper at a well- known fish restaurant. "And what about drinks?" asked one. "Well." said the other, if I lose you shall have a gia-ss of beer with each fish." "Righl-o," was the reply. Then we'll have whitebait." There is an inmate of an American prison who will be given his liberty and lOOdol. into the- bargain if he can e-at one of the iron bars that separate the prisoners from the out.er world. He has made a bet with the Sheriff, who does not believe he can perform th; feat. He has amazed many persons by picking up glasses and biting pieces cut of them and munching the glass, swallowing it, and declaring it tastes good, 6avs the Vhiladelph ta Record. He once ate a whisky then offered to eat a watch and chain if anyone would produce the articles, but there wai none to take tlm offer. He is con- fident that he can "eat" his way through ilia bars, A staid and highly-respected city merchant w'o entered a cafe on Wednesday last week with a couple of friends, gave them a shock by holding up a beckoning finger to the waitress and calling Pu«t. puss, puss! His blushing explanation that he had been playing "puss in the corner" at a Twelfth Night, party given by his children the even- ing b-fore. and that the cry came pat to his tongue wan eventually accepted, but it will «e long before he hears the last of hi-s little slip. In certain medical circles a funny story WI1," recently told of a man who went to a ouack doctor for treatment. He h'\d a sharp pain internally, and remarked that it might bf? caused by his habit of sucking the point of a lead pencil. Th, quack said he was eufferinnr from lead poisoning, and gave him forne pills, which ho ;itid would cure him. Next dav the man came back very angry. "A fri-enri of mine has examined the pilla you gave me," he said, and they are only bread." Of course they are," was the bland, reply. "Don't you know that nread ia HI" finest; thing to remove pencil marks with? You didn't want me to give you india- rubber piLk, did you?" 9

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