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EXTRACTS FROM OUB COMIC PAPERS. (From Punch.) A PETITION TO PARLIAMENT OUT-OF-DOORS. Where is the honourable House ? All out of doors; Gone, mostly, blazing at the grouse Upon the moors. Thither, likewise, the Peers repair, In quest of sport. Commons and Lords, for change of air, Alike resort. They've massacred the Innocents, Whom now the game, Which they are bagging, represents— 'Tis served the same. After long legislative toil Those heights they range, Pursuers of the feathered spoil, And bless the ehange. 'Tis well that England still contains Some forest space, Which birds may haunt; some hills and plains For beasts of chase. How fast those creatures disappear, Oh, sad to see! The badger, once so common here, Now where is he ? Reynard the fox, too, would be-where Ay, where indeed ? Did not horse-worship make men spare His sacred breed. Almost unknown is now the kite, That used to sail Aloft, a once familiar sight, With forked tail. The buzzard has become as rare; In country walk, Seldom you see now, cleaving air, The sparrowhawk. The good old raven's reverend croak Is scarcely heard. The noble bittern is, by smoke, A banished bird. The soil which landed poulterers own Must know no brood, Forsooth, of vermin; bear alone Things meet for food. All that a morsel from our feasts Can snatch away Destroy," the churls cry Kill all beasts And birds of prey." The Philistines Alas, for woe To see broad lands, Whilst woodcraft dwindles, falling so Into their hands The commons narrowing day by day, What grief to mark; And how vile builders do away With chase and park No more of your detested bills, Destroying these Ye legislators, on the hills Who snuff the breeze England's few wilds that yet remain, Pray you, protect. Chimneys enough do foliage stain, And air infect. Wherefore should Progress be allowed This land to spoil ? A house you would not overcrowd- Then why the soil ? Preserve the greenwoods and the flowers Our fathers knew- Preserve the game, ye landed Powers, And vermin too. NOT A BAD HIT.-If at your next croquet party the girls are splendidly handsome and draw off the attention of the men from their game, carelessly quote old Herrick, and say that it is a case of A lawn thrown into a fine distraction." BLACK V. WHITE.—A woman-hater of Mr. Punch's acquaintance declares that the substitution of brown for blonde complexions and tresses, is bringing black-bait into fashion instead of white-bait. FEAT UNIQUE.—The performances of our sportsmen this August have not been very brilliant, with one remarkable exception-a great gun of Macmillan's has been successful in "Shooting Niagara" at Chelsea. "SEA-GOING MONITORS."—From the Royal Naval School. "THE ROUND OF THE RESTAURANTS."—Beef. (From the Tomahawk.) TO DIZZY. BY A COUNTRY SQUIRE. When time hath bereft thee Of votes now divine When the boroughs have left thee, Nor counties be thine. When the faces shall vanish, That circle thee now And the groans thou wouldst banish Shall grow to a row. In the hour of thy sadness, Then think upon me, And that thought shall be madness, Deceiver to thee. When Bright who could turn thee, From virtue and fame, Shall spurn thee and leave thee, To sorrow and shame. When by Gladstone requited, Thy brain shall be stung; When thy name shall be blighted, And linked with" unhung." In the depth of thy sadness, Then think upon me, And that thought shall be madness, Deceiver to thee. THE MANSFIELD TESTIMONIAL. NOTICE. — We beg to announce that a very wide- spread sympathy having been found to exist in favour of Sir William Mansfield, who has, in the opinion of many, been very unjustly censured for doing an unpleasant duty, a committee of gentlemen has been formed to give some practical effect to this feeling in favour of a brave and kind-hearted officer. We have consented to receive subscriptions towards a fund for the purpose of com- pensating this maligned hero for the severe losses, which ) he has incurred through the mal-administration of his store-room by his aide-de-camp. We beg to inform our readers that we shall be happy to receive subscriptions, either in money or in kind, at our office. Pickles (mixed or West Indian), jam, or marmalade, tapioca, and Betts' British brandy, thankfully received. Loaf-sugar and Yarmouth bloaters taken for purposes of exchange. No dripping, can be accepted. We shall publish from time to time a list of subscriptions. (From Fun.) "MURDER AS A FINE ART."—A large poster, announcing a fete at Swinton, near Sheffield, the other day, held out as an inducement to visitors the fact that Mr. William Broadhead, of Sheffield, is expected on the ground each day." We suppose Mr. William Broadhead, of Sheffield," will appear as a public enter- tainer next. The blowing-up of a non-unionist's house, with a bouquet of rockets, would be a telling finale to a lecture on Safe Methods of Murder, with Illustrations," in which the learned lecturer will be assisted by Mr. Crookes. A SONG OF THE SESSION. The Reform Bill now only awaits the Queen's assent." -Vida Papers. Sing a song of Sixty-seven, And politics awry Four-and-twenty Wliiglings Baked in a pie. When the Session opened They dreamt of no such scene Was not that a pretty dish To set before the Queen ? LATEST FROM ABYSSINIA.—The papers, the other day, noticing the arrival of the Dalhousie, said-" She re- ports, Captives cut off from the Emperor.' We hope they are all right-they have been waiting for an oppor- tunity to cut off for a long time past. A HINT FOR CRITICS.- When an author gibbets him- self as an ignorant and pretentious muff, what is the use of cutting him up ? It would be more humane to cut him down and try to restore him to his senses. ORDER ORDER !-Our ill-natured friend Snarleyow describes the front of a certain large West-end theatre as the order-torium. WHAT is the difference between a railway train and a suspending bank ?—In one case the brake causes the stoppage, in the other the stoppage causes the break. TEMPUS FEW-GET.—What is the common object which members on both sides the House speak against Session after Session without coming to a division ?—Time. WHY is Messrs. Bass's this year's brewing like a part of Egypt î-Because it's New-beer. THE ANGEL AT HIGHGATE.-Miss Burdett Coutts. [ THE LAND FOR THE BLASES.—New Zeal-land. NOT TO BE BLOWN ON.—Joint ocoupiers—the flies. >


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