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FACTS AND FACETI-ZE. I THE remoteness of Russian'America makes it a fur country," says the Boston Post. Its northern lati- tude makes it also an ice-olated country. IF you and your sweetheart vote upon the marriage question, you for it and she against it, don't flatter yourself as to its being a tie. WE see," said Swift, in one of his most sar- castic moods, what God thinks of riches by the people he gives them to." AN insurance agent, urging a citizen to get his life insured, said Get your life insured for ten thou- sand dollars, and then if you die next week the widder's heart will sing for joy." A PORTSMOUTH musicseller was lately over- powered by a fastidious young lady, who wanted to purchase "Mr. Hood's—a—song of the—gentleman's under garment!" AT an Irish party the butler said to the lady of the house, "Please, ma'am, will I strip 1" Yes," was the reply, "all the company have arrived." And the butler then took or stripped off the covers from the dishes. ONE of the beauties of the court of Frederick the Great said to the king, Sire, how is it that you, who are so glorious already, still seek for new fame ?" Madame," he replied, for the same reason that you, although so beautiful, still wear rouge." A LONG PURSUIT.—An Irishman, the other day, coming to Washington with a load of wood, saw a military officer, followed at a respectful distance by two orderlies, in'full gallop. "By the powers," said he, haven't they caught him yet ? I was here about three weeks ago, and they was a-runnin' after him then." I (PRONOUN).—The ringleader of i-mpudence, the heart of pr-i-de, doubly conspicuous in m-i-sck-i-ef, shunned by the good and noble, and left to an end in ennu-i. A PHYSICIAN stopped at the shop of a country apothecary, and inquired for a pharmacopoeia. "Sir," said the apothecary, "I know of no such farmer living about these parts." ONE man wagered another that he had seen a horse galloping at a great speed, and a dog sitting on his tail. It seems an improbable feat for a dog to accom- plish, but the man was right and won the money. The dog was sitting on his own tail. "I WILL make an attack on England," said Bonaparte, in a huff, when First Consul, to Lord Whit- worth, British ambassador. That is your affair, sir," was the reply. "I will annihilate you," roared the consul. "Ah, sir, that is our affair," was the calm and noble reply of the representative of a great people. WE do not believe in spiritualism or magic (except sleight-of-hand, and so forth), but what are we to say to such a fact as this ? The other day a veracious witness actually saw a young man turn into a public- house. Transformation extraordinary Further evi- dence will shortly be forthcoming. THE following epitaph is taken from the church- yard of the village of Burbage, in Leicestershire:— "Two pretty Babs, which we did love, Is parted from us like a dove. These Babs, which we did so adore, Is gone, and will not come no more." THE following delightful announcement ap- peared in the Barnsley Chronicle of Saturday:— Swinton.—A New Sensation.—A 'poster' announcing a gala at Swinton, in the early part of this week, inti- mates in prominent capitals that Mr. William Broad- head,' of Sheffield, is ex ected on the cricket-ground each day." THE following letter of a working man who has given upwards of .£150 to the Bible Society, is printed in the Wilts Comity Mirror;—"Sir I am glad you indeverd in your report to move the Pobelleck to so glores work and as you referd to me I wish to inform the pobelleik in your next report that the mony was goat by hard work at the avrig of 12s. per week how did I get the mony I am at work wen my. nebor are a sleep also I have thrawn all my idels a side no soking no drinking no poblleck amusements however inosent knowing that Christ came not to pies him self in his steps an Comanded to tred aiss time is adey to work for the night Cometh wen no man can work for thare is no work in the grave nor wisdem nor divice men and ¡ brethrun work will it is Dey.—ser I remen yours trully ( A MUD WALL CUTEGER." [ MR. BASS has succeeded, according to the Army and Navy Gazette, in inducing the Admiralty to abolish "birching" on board the Britannia,. We hope their lordships will not have to retrace their steps, and that the boys will be kept in order without the fear of being flagellated. We will give an an'ecdote from which Mr. Bass and his friends may draw what deductions they please. A youngster who lately passed out of the Britannia was asked by a friend whether he thought good or evil would arise from the disappearance of the birch. "Well," was the reply, if I had to remain in the ship, I should be glad that flogging was done away with; but, as I have left her, I may say that a very un- wise proceeding has been adopted, for there are fellows on board who can only be kept in order either by the birch itself or the dread of it." We are persuaded that there is a good deal of truth in the youngster's remark. AT the recent ordination of one of the bishops, one of the candidates for deacons' orders was so low in his theological attainments that he was very near being "plucked." As, however, he had been strongly recom- mended to the Bishop for his piety and zeal, his lord- ship consented to ordain him, but warned him that he must study very diligently before he came up to the next examination, urging him especially to familiarise himself with that well-known theological work, Butler's Analogy." When the young man departed his lord- ship accompanied him to the door. He seated himself in the omnibus to proceed to the railway station. The bishop went up to him kindly, shook hands with him, and, as a parting reminder about the Analogy," ex- exclaimed, Good-bye, Mr. Don't forget the Butler Oh, yes, my lord," replied Mr. I've just given him five shillings and before the astonished prelate could offer any explanation the omnibus had driven off.



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