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i POET'S CORNER. ;

-t The Road to Love Ii

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A PHENOMENAL SUCCESS.

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FOR MATRON AND MAID.

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----------t FOR THE YOUNG…

DISTRESSING BRONCHITIS,

----.--..._--_... FUN AND…

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FUN AND FANCY. Mark Twain says: "None but the brave de- serve the fair; and none but the brave can live with some of them." A temperance editor, in drawing attention to an article against ardent spirits in one of his papers, says: "For the effect of intemperance see our inside." Mother: "Wn.1, baby, what. are you doing?" Baby (with her ear in crack in floor above the dining room): "Don't know, but nursie does it. "Punch." First juvenile cyclist (struggling with large- sifced machine): "Where shall we say we've been to-day?" Second juvenile cyclist: "Why, how d'you mean?" "Oh, for swank." An architect remarked to a lady that he had been to see the great, nave in the new church. The lady replied: "Don't mention names—I know the man to whom you refer. "Man," says Victor Hugo, "was the oonun- drdm of the eighteenth century; woman is the conundrum of the nineteenth century." An American editor adds: "We can't guess her, but will never give her up. No, never." Mrs. O'Toole: "She's takin' on awful. Her husband got three years—but he kin git twelve months off for good behaviour." Mrs. Dooley: "Tell her to rest aisy. Sure, an' he may not behave himself." Goodart: "You didn't actually tell him that I didn't think him much of a poet?" Wiseman: "Sure." Goodart: "Oh! I wouldn't have had you do that for the world-" Wiseman: "Nonsense! That doesn't hurt him. It only makes him pity you." Mrs. Nurich was in the jewellery store. "Here arc some new souvenir spoons we have just got in," said the clerk, placing a tray for her in- spection. "Oh. ain't those lovely!" she ex- claimed, "I must have some of those! Our cook makes such lovely souvenir." One of the lady visitors attached to a Ber- mondsey Church was speaking to some of the young factory girls on the impropriety of chaf- fing young men as they passed them iT) the street. "You never see us do such a thing." the visitor urged. "No, miss." was the reply, "and we are so sorry for yer!" Wife "For mercy's sake, if you must smoke, smoke cigars, and not that horrid pipe." Hus- band "I smoke a pipe for the sake of eco- nomy." "Do you smoke a pipe in your office?" "N-o, I smoke cigars there." "Well, you smoke your pipe there, and tell the firm it's for the sake of economy. They'll soon raise your salary." Tramp: "Thankee, mum; it's a fine dinner you've sriven me, mum. There's only one thing more I'd ask in th' world, an' that's a smoke." Kind Lady: "You can have that, and wel- come. There's a box of cigars in the closet which I gave my husband for a present-" Tramp (hastily): "Never mind, mum. I've got a pipe, an' I saw an old cabbage down th' road." A Yorkshireman lay on his death-bed, his wife tending him, whilst several sympathetic neighbours stood by the foot of the bed. "Saeboddie owes us saemich," murmured the dying man, evidently as a reminder to his wife. "Eh, 'es sensible to t'last," the vyfe observed proudly to the neighbours. "An' us owes sae- boddie samicli," the poor man added. "Nob- but 'ark 'ow 'e raaves," was the wife's prompt oorrection. "An American" was dining in Paris, and had ordered a certain kind of cheese, of whijn he knew nothing, at a. guess. Shortly afie. ward he called the waiter peremptorily. "Take that cheese away," he said testily. "What is ea the matter with it?" asked the waiter, delaying. "What shall I bring you instead?" "Don't bring me anything instead," said the man, still more testily. "Take it away, I tell iou! don't you see it is e*.Unf; my bread V'-

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-t The Road to Love Ii