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POET'S CORNER.

The Road to Love

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PASSING OF OATMEAL.

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FUN AND FANCY.

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FUN AND FANCY. Teacher: "Johnny, what is an isthmus?" Johnny: "A narrow sliu of land connecting two scandals." "Yep, woman is certainly de cause of me ing dis way. If rtje wife hadn't lost her job I'd had a home right now." Tommy "Pop, what is the difference between a cook and a chef?" Tommy's Pop: "About 20 dollars a week, my son." Mother: "Tommy, are you teaching the parrot to swear?" Tommy: "No, mother; I'm just telling it what it mustn't say." Braidsen Tapes "Pes, I'm fired Discharged without any reason." Silkson Thredd: "Well, you didn't have any when you took the job, did you ?"' "I hear yer frien' Tamson's married again." "Aye, so he is He's been a dear frien' tac me. Pie's cost me three waddin' presents art' twa wreaths." Poungster: "Why is it, ma. that a honey- moon is supposed to last only three months?" Ma: "At the end of three months the quarterly bills come in "So your daughter is improving in her piano playing?" "Yes," answered Mr. Cumrox "You enjoy it?" "No. But it doesp't make me as nervous as it used to." Green: "That fellow who plays the cornet is ill." Jones "Do you think he will recover?" Green: "I am afraid not. The doctor who is attending him lives next door "T like to see a man take an interest in his work." "So do I. I once knew a policeman who was so enthusiastic that it positively pain- ed him to see anybody out of gaol." "So Algernon is going to devote himself to poetry?" "Yes, but only after a season in the bank. I don't want the poor boy to die without even knowing what money feels like "He tried to kiss his wife last night, and she gave him a black eye." "Why did she do that?" "She thought he was drunk." "She certainly had grounds for the suspicion., Did you ever see her?" A country paper has this delicate person item "Those who know nice old Mr. Wilson of this place personally will regret to hoor that he was assaulted in a brutal manner last Wleek, but was not killed." "Yes, sir. This is the house for summer board- ers, and that large building next door is a san- itorium." "What's the sarntorium "Tho folks who board with us one summer generally stay there the second year." Mamma: "Where is that pretty too-chest your aunt gave you?" Small son: "In the closet; but the tols is all broke." Mamma: "Mercy me! You naughty boy. You must have been trying to use them." A Scotchman took an American into a bar and asked him what he would take. "I guess I'll take champagne," the Yankee answered. "Then ye can guess again, and guess something nearer tuppence this time." An Echo of Modern Journalism.—"I do miss Mrs. Jones. She told me all the news of the parish." "Oh, that was only gossip-no truth in it." "Well, there, I liked to 'ear it. Truth or lies, 'twas all news to me." "Good afternoon, Miss Brown! Going for a walk? May I go with you?" asked an elderly but ardent admirer of the lady. "Yes; my doc- tor says that we always walk with an object, and I suppose you'll answer the purpose!" A school girl, during her examination, re- peatedly miscalled patriarchs partridges. Where- upon one of the auditors remarked: She is making game of the patriarchs. This, Sydney Smith said, was the most perfect pun he knew. The banquet table was spread, and the guests about to be summoned. "Are you sure there are no reporters present?" anxiously asked the host of the butler. "I've made certain of it, sir "Then hustle out and get a few," rejoined the host. "You don't object to these investigations of the affairs of your great monopoly?" "No," answered Mr. Dustin Stax. "They're a deal of help in enabling me to catch up with details of my business that might have escaped my attention." Said a witness who once appeared before Mr. Justice Maule, "You may believe me or not, but I have stated not a word that is false. I have been wedded to truth from my infancy." "Yes," replied the judge, "but how long have you been a widower?" "I have always mado a practice" said the earnest young man, "of spending an hour each ovening thinking over my mistakes of the day." "And I," said the successful old man, "spend an hour each evening working out the mistakes that others had made." Visitor: "Doctor. I don't know wnat the trj- ble i3, but I can't sleep at night." Doctor: "Um—yes. What is your occupation?" Visi- tor: "I'm a coal dealer." Doctor: "Pardon me, but you should consult a minister. I can't undertake to relieve your conscience." Old Mrs. Flaherty was a general favourite in the little town where he lived. The doctor was away all one summer, and did not hear of the old man's death. Soon after his return he met Miss Flaherty. and inquired about the family, ending with "And how is your father standing the heat?" Two friends from two different Scotch churches, but of one denomination, met the other day and discussed the preaching of their respective pastors. "Your preacher uses the ideas of other men," said one. "Don't you wish your pastor would do the same," was the significant response.

LUNG DISEASES,

FOR THE YOUNG FOLKS,

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--..--,----,;",:,,_,= FOR…

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The Road to Love