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KILRUSH PETTY SESSIONS. "Oh, sweet bad luck to your mother-in-law,"—Shelley. Paddy Scully, a rollicking, free-and-easy looking unit of the eight millions," all the way from Gower- hass, who, with a fine mixture of naivete and can- dour, described himself as the eldest born of Ould Tom Scully, that was noted through the country as a quiet, sober little man," was introduced, having a brace of Colonel M'Gregor's sons of A-grip-pa" as supporters, for Paddy had proved as Paddies will to the end of time, refractory and, not content with having "despitefully used a certain Mrs. Brumma- gem, his mother-in-law, he also contrived to establish in the dyke in the road, where weeds, water, and mud were the principal commodities, Master Owen Welsh, who astride upon a donkey, which underwent a similar immersion, had been then and there indul- ging in the interesting pastime of ass-racing. When the scattered fire of accusations from many quarters had been concentrated on Paddy's head—he bore it like a thrue Milisian,"—and with a broad grin, to which Colman's was a fool-a grin that disclosed mas- ticators not indebted for their pearly attributes to Rowland's dentrifice, he facetiously observed,- "Hang me at wanst, Mrs. Brummagem, dear, do an' make ye'r daughter a widdy sware away my life, ye'rself an' herself, an' indeed ye'r a nate pair, as Paddy said whin he found his brogues half burnt."— (A Laugh.) The Chifney of the donkey-race now came forward, and plucking at a miserable remnant of a cap formed of a skin which had once encased the flighty proportions of a corpulent sea-gull, he com- menced a Jeremiad, in a powerful key. "Racin' we won, Sir, fore one an' sixpins meself an' Jack Con- nors, and Tim Naughton, and Jimmy Lyons, an' Widdy Maher's sons, an' Bully Dundon, an' six more ov uz an' I got the first hate, an' wus comin' in the succond, wid Tommy O'Dea, and Lyons on each side o' me, an' we weltin' one another wid our swidges, whin Paddy Scully kem up. A dead hate—a dead hate!' says he, givin' me ass a shoulder—so that itself and meself wint heels over head into a big dirty dhrain, see that now You're young," remarked Mr. Scully, quite lack- adaisically. "You're young, Owny dear, an' the like nivir done you the laste harm in life. Harm! retorted the race-rider. Why bad luck to you an' sure if wishin' it to you was enough you'd be well supplied—harm! warn't the nibors sayin' 'tis fairy struck I must have been, I was so changed. One eye bunged up your reverins, an' me nose bleedin', an' one leg o' me small clothes gone quite an' clane; not to mintion the paste o' puddle over me face. Harm, indeed! Paddy Scully." Magistrate—And you also, it appears, struck your mother-in-law. Eh? didn't you beat her? Paddy-Allileu! talk f of batin' to Moll Brum ma- that used to head her own facshin' at the fairs long ago. See, Sir, this woman(here he toutched Mrs. Scully on the shoulder) is my wife, surely, an' this woman's daughter-an' the evenin' I wint to put in me proposhal for her to her father I got a batin' that I won't disremimber, my hand to you, iv I live till the day of judgment. AVell; and' what's that to the purpose ?" inter- posed Mrs. Brummagem. Oh! blud alive, azy, m'am dear, azy," returned the accused. Keep studdy till I make the gintlemen sinsible ov what sort ye are. After takin' a hoise or two ovsperrets, your reverins, begorTom Brummagem produced a couple ov smart blackthorn sticks. Han- dle one o' these, an' stand opposit me out,' says he,'or the d-l resave the one o' you'll ever call my colleen Mrs. Scully.' Oh murdher,I'm tirin' ye, gintlemen. Well to sharten me story, I up wid meself an' spit in me fist, wid respects to ye, an' gev a screech that med the rafthers aycho, to hide tee thrimblin in my heart, for he was first-rate on a stick. I gev the hat a slap down on my eyes, an' at it we wint, back, belly, and sides feint, cover, an' cut; back sthroke, medium guard, an'knee-pan tech (flourishing his right hand), till I get an' got such a lickin' that I was as tired o' me life as a bull that had been bet three days runnin.' -(Laughter.) "An' may be my husband did not feel you at all, ye spaltheen ?" interrupted Mrs. Brummagem. Paddy laughed and winked a whole life of reminis- nences at the old lady, and continued, There's the proof he did," (slapping Mrs. S.'s shoulder) he's dead an' gone, now, but I taught him some steps that evenin' he never lamed ov a dancin' masther an'in- deed he cut a few crucifixes on the head that was on- dher me Caroline, so that I only wondher 'twas ever the same for a head. When Mr. Scully wound up, it was intimated to his mother-in-law that she had better come to parti- culars, which she did briefly enough, by informing the Bench that master Paddy had caked a screechin" hot pratee" in her ear, by flinging it at her, thereby "drivin her to the verge of madness." Here. botheration to id," said Paddy Scully, do ye all come home." Magistrate-First pay the costs, and keep your hands quiet in future. Paddy—" Oh long life to you, an' health to enjoy id' an' that I will. See here I'll be so orderly an' pace- able that people '11 be sayin-Dear me, what a sober, hard workin' boy that Scully is'—(Great laughter.) An' as for you, Owen Welch,thurm the fauve) shake hands). See here—'pon me word I heartily forgive ye, so I do. A good mornin,' gentlemen,—good mornin,l poleeseinin. Come away, Mrs. Scully, a good mornin' to you, Mrs. Brummagem.



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