The Pontypridd Chronicle and Workman's News

SCRAPS Cobbett,in one of his lectures in America, desig. nated the Quakers as "a set of butwuless, un. baptised backguards." Neverheless," observed one of the Friends. Friend Obbett has the advantage over us, being a confirmd and baptised one, as which he was registered n his native parish." Mark Tvain, a few months after his first baby was horn, lad it on his knees. Jlis wifisaid Sow, IHftÍeøs that you love child." I wui klo that," he replied but I am willing to at^i^W^f'eitluit :-I inspect li€tkj thing- foi s its fatlii-r'tsake." Rogers ised to relate th!s stony. lAn 'Eiiglish- man and^renchmanifdughfe avdmat in a darkened rt^om. Tb Englishman, unwillingvtociialse?ihie antagomMs life, geh«*o*^tly Hftsd .np.thdrtiiiaaJwy, and^-brei»ht dwvvft the i>onobmi». ,u > f 44 Wheel io f i*nee,<? plece^nAlp j addtsd thiuarrtttor^ "I uwik«[ t^6 EpglifelMoan gr up the chinney*" u ■ r v, 'r In a aiall village in the nentjb of Scotland, the parish curch stood abpaopt iu; fcijo 'ce^tre Af it^ street, ad it occurred to three of the village wor- thies wh'tiad been' indul^ ing rather hwty, On afe^: tempt tcpush it farther on one side, so as to leave the strei dear. Tifty accordingly tools" off their coats at)ne side, and went to the other to com- mence teir operations. A wag saw the three coats and decmped with them, and on one of the men coining ound to see if their pushing .had had any effect, nd missing their coats, he hurried back to his fiends, exclaiming Sto, stop We've pushed ower too far, and coverecup a* oor coats! A sjbemaker In a Fifeshire parish once borrowed: a horsffrom a farmer to enable liim to pay a busi- ness ysit to a neighbouring town. Riding in tbeeveniug with a hugh roll of leather strapped on 'is back, a friend met him and asked him his uacive for carrying it in such a curious fashion. Weel, ye see, -said he, "this is Mr. Duncan's h<se, and 111 extortion no man's beast." I wonder that those people who used to go to clirch iu winter without having any fires there dIn't die," remarked Mrs. Liflly the other day. They did, my dear," serenelyreturried the hus- tnd front behind his paper. "Oh yes," said she, somewhat nettled, "of curse.; but I mean that it is strange they didn't ce before their appointed time." People never ad," replied the severe Liflly. Mrs. Liflly looked very dignified, but ventured a no further comments. John Kemble was performing one of his favourite arts at a country theatre, and was interrupted om time to time by the squalling of a child in he gallery, until at length he walked with solemn teps to the front «f the stage, and addressing the ludience in the most tragic tones, said Ladies and gentlemen, unless the play is itopped, the child cannot possibly go on." Do you want any berries, ma'am?" asked a little boy of a lady. The lady told him she would like some1, and taking the nail from him stepped into the house. He did not follow, but remained behind, -whistling to some canaries hanging in their cage. "Why don't you come in and see if I measure your berries right ? she asked. How do you know but I may cheat you 1" Well, ma'am, I should only lose my berries, and you would be stealing. Don't you think you would get the worst of it ? Such ignorance exclaimed a Southside girl, looking up from her paper. What is it! asked her father. Why, at a civil-service examination in Georgia, one applicant said that Shakespeare wrote Gray's Elegy in a Country Churchyard.' That don't seem right. Who did write it X 14 Why, papa Tennyson, to be sure I" An Irish bricklayer was one day brought to the hospital severely injured by a fall from a housetop. The medical officer in attendance asked the sufferer at what time the accident occurred. U Two o'clock, yer honour," was the reply. On being asked why he came to fix the hour so accurately, he answered Because I saw the people at dinner through a window as I was coming down." It was in the old Liberty of Dublin, that Dean Swift was accosted by a drunken weaver, a clas abounding in that locality, and who staggering against the Dean, exclaimed ( I've been spinning it out, your reverence." "So I perceive," said the Dean, "and you are now reeling it home," On one occasion two lailies had paid a cabman a shilling for the distance they had ridden, with one fourpeiiny bit, two threepenny pieces, one penny, and two halfpence, when cabby looked at the coins, and asked Well, how long might you have been saving up for this little treat." A dead dog in Boston nad thirty four shingle nails in its stotllaeh-probably used in repairing fclte roof of its inoutli, or perhaps driven loosely into the baric. They didn't digest—and that a what nuude Eido die-jest as lie did. A young lady who was too ill to wash the supper- S dishes recovered sufficiently fifteen minutes sifter her mother had done the work to play the piano ana "sit up" with a young man till midnight. What I delicate creatures some of our girls are, coy bow 19, A pedagogue was about to flog a pupil ing said he was a fool, when the boy one "Oh, don't: don't! t morel I'll never say what I think the days of my life." ,t ■« r s*! ,V ic. This 1ms in a. great measure ilupersedod the use of English h«cr yeast in London, iiuii other places conveniently situated for receiving cpuclciy an I regularly the supplies of it which are tuijiorie l from ahrictd hut as it speedily becomes putrit iu sultry weather, and does not in any season re man good long after its arrival heru. it is not suited for transmission to remote parts of thecouu- iry. Urexd made with it while it is perfectly sweet is extremely light and good; it also answers the purpose for light cakes and biscuits; all ounce of yeast to three pounds and a haif of flour, will be fouud the best proportion to produce a successful baking. In using it, the yeust should be very gradu- ally and perfectly moistened, and blended with the warm liquid in which it is usually mixed: for, un- less this l e done, and the whole rendered smooth as cream, the dough will not be of the uniform texture wbiAfi it ought. Far it Prkskrvino.—Ripe fruits are comnioHly preserved in a fresh state by placing them in a &%ml dry situation on, rihelres, «o that they do not touch each ether; or by-ps LAing them ia clean (fcry latw, saw-thisV straw,bran,or any similar substaucet, With--like care to preserve theiu from the action of aitr «iii moieture. An excellent plan, commonly ndoptckLfwr de««rt fruit, is to wrap each separately in a piece of, clean dry paper, tmd to fill small widc- mouthed jara or lioueyr pots with them. The filled potj are theu packed ona upon another, iu a dry ind coofplace. Tlie space between the pots may be advantageously filled up with plaster of Parie made into a pas te with water. The joint is thus rendered air-tight, and the fruit will keep good for a long time. The mouth of the top Jar is covered with a slate. For use, five jars should be taken one at a time from the store-room as wanted, and the fruit exposal for .week or tea days in a warm dry room before being eaten, by which the flavour I- Mproved. To Cr.EAs G i>o v ias»—I)a mp them slightly, streteli tlieiu gently over a wooden hand of appro-, priate size, and eWan them with a spouge dipped in recently rectified oil of tuqieutine or camphine as soou as they are dry, withdraw tlwm gently from the stretcher, and suspend them in a current of air for a few days. or until they oease to smell of the turpentine. Heat must be avoided. If ordinary oil of tufpoMtjue be used, a little essence ef lemon may be added to it. Tiw oii n,ifi the first dirty portion should be sponged off with cleaD oil. Doeskin, buckskin, and wash-leather (jloi^es, are Cleaned as foltuwa:—Stretch them on a hand, or lay them flat on a table, and rub into tltem a mixture of finely powdered fuller's earth and alum j sweep this off with a brush, sprinkle them with a mixture of dry bran and vfhiting, and lastly, dust them well ° If, lint if the gloves are very much soiled they-mast be treated as follows:—Washahtfin in lukewMriu fGft water, with a tinieturd. SltUI). ox- gall, or bran-tea, then stretch them on wooden hands, or pull them iuto shape without wringing them; next rub tlwm with pipe-clay and yellow ochre made into a paste with ale or beer; let tliem dry gradually, and, wjien about half dry, rub them well, so as to smooth them and pat them into shape when they are dry, brush out the superfluous colour, cover them with paper, and smooth them with a warm irou. For wattling ghve«, the best application is a strong lather made of curd soap with new milk or water will do. A very small quantity of liquid will suffice. Before wetting the glove, run a strong thread through the opposite sides, close to the wrist binding. Leave it about a quarter of a yard long, and make a large knot at each end. This is to form a loop or handle by which to hang up the glove to dry, and keep it open. Having prepared the lather, put one glove on the hand, and apply the lather by means of a shaving brush or piece of line flannel, carrying the etrokes downwards— that ie, from the wrietorarmtothe tips of the fingers. Continue this process till the dirt disappears, then dab the glove with a clean soft towel till the soap is removed. Take off the glove, blow iuto it to open all the fin- gers, and, by means of the aforesaid loop, bang it to dry in a shady but airy place. The 10°11 gnonl 1 be fixed on two pegs, or by strings to a lin." in such a manner as to keep III<! of, the ^;ove apart while drying. When dry. they will have jeeained their original colour and be smooth, glwssy. .ft, aad of the proper shape. "Please, I want the doctor to come and see mother. Doctor's out," said the servant. ''Where do you come from." "Why," exclaimed the lit:le boy. "don't you know me? Why, we deal with you. We had a baby from hete lasl wcuk I "I say, rat," s:iid a philosopher, "can you be doing two things at the Mime time ? "CtUl" H" answered l'at. I'll be doing that any day! ••How?" a»ked the philosopher. ••Why, rcpl.ed l'at, 111 be sleeping and drain- ing, too, at tne same time." Mr. Goldie, a gCIIUClIIll:1 of fortune, having ex- hibited some strange eccentricities, his friends ap- plied to have him onlined as a lunatic on the ver- dict d a ury. Mr. Goidie conducted his own defence, and con- eluded his address to tlie ju.y iu these words: Thus, gentlemen, I have gone through the whole case, and it is for you to determine whether I bo mad or not. If I am declared to be mad, I shall at least li^ive the satis action to have it found by a yerdict of my pc.-rs." Dr. Blimber was walking down the street the other day, when lie saw two boys on the side-walk, apparently searching for something. One of the boys remarked just as he reached them: •'Well, five pounds is worth hunting after." So the doctor stopped and searched a wliileu i Finally, he got tired, and said to the boys: •' Have you lost a five-pound note?" "No, sir," said they; "but we didn't know but what we could fitidolle." The doctor tied frantically. I "My dear," said a husband to lii^wife, on ob« serving red-striped stockings on IHfTheir, "why have you made barber's poles of our^hild's legs ? *• Because ho is a little shaver," was the neat re- i ply. i

FROM CITY CORRESPONDENTS. I Tiiehe is nob only no tax oil yachts, bub theser i.ivoured vessels are permitted to have wine aiul t.-bacco duty-free; ana they pay no ligilliloubtt i'vus nor harbour dues nor any fee* on engaging I •<1 discharging crews before a shipping-master, Ie theory, perhaps, is that yachting is a nursery ■!• sailors; but, it is well known to be a. very rare) .ttig fur a yachtsman to go into either the navy ) the merchant service. He is used to easier work, j i iid better pay. Yachting lessens the supply of j smart sea-going men in the two departments jusfc I Illentiulled. Mr. Goschen, if in office this Lim«. I.veivemonth, may well throw his eye iu the direc- II tion of yachts. THE necessity for the enforcement of the Act for lie Preservation of Ancient Monumeiils has betlik; p-oved in a case heard before the Sheriff at Ler- 'nick. A man lIamed Hugh Mackay was charged v. il.li wantonly injuring an interesting relic 01 aotiquity known as the brough of Clickimine, aa, < id Pictish castle situated in the neighbourhood at Lerwick. The defendant had deliberately carfcect a n ay a quantity of stones from this venerable ruitt. for the purpose of building a stable with them. He was very properly lined five pounds for taking away the stones, and ordered to pay a further sum of four pounds to cover the cost of putting them, ack agiiiu. This prosecution, I understand, ia the first that has been instituted under the Ancionfc Monuments Act. Ladies and gentlemen giving time and trouble to the promotioiv of concerts and entertainments for charitable purposes are from time to time. swooped down npofy by persons who, fortified by statute law, claim fteavy damages for breach ot copyright in respect of some song sung or muaicr played. The law in the matter is very clear and very arbitrary, and the costs of resisting such ac- ticn so great that the sum demanded is frequently paid down. If a measure now before the House ol Commons prospers, this system will be done away with. A bill 1ms been brought ill by Mr. Dillwya and sojic of his friends from either side of the House protecting the public from such proceedings.. SOL' t he recovery of penalties for the unauthorised performance of copyright musical compositions. Tories and Liberals having united in backing thift hill, there is every prospect that it will be addeft to the statute hook before the session is far ad- vanced. Not only is the wine and spirit trade willing tor bear the new tax on bottled wines, but it welcolnes t,lac impost and even asks for more. Some of t.be. wine merchants are positively grateful to Mr. Gosclien for the additional tax (which they will ft06. pay) on their wares and if lie will only llut a similar- duty on bottled spirits too, their cup of gratitude will indeed be full. This state of things will per- haps compensate Mr. Goschen for theuard worda which have been flung at him by the other person* affected by the budget. It in almost like a wind- fall of probate duty, or a heavy payment of con- science-money, to lind a tax received with joy by those upon whom—primarily, but not actually—ifc is levied, l'uscibly the fact will lead Mr. Goschent to listen with kiiidly ears to those of his victims* who are by no maane so well pleased—especially te, the )iar»im* taiiii doctor. whose horses aud carriages ate really the indis{ieusable tools of their business. THE knotty question as to how far instrumental, music is nwi'mis^iMeitti churches has coiue before, the Bishop of lto«the»tor in a somewhat novel form,, and lisi* tooli Moiled by means of an ingenious cjom- pnJ111 iNJ. Tlie Bfehap a Chancellor declares that the law is (Hearty^ agaiM«L;wutkiug any charge for ad- mission to the parish church, even when a musi- cal performance and not a service is being given. But, assuming the musical (terformance !•> be legal, there is no law against making a cok'ec- tion. To this the Kislmp adds that he see* uo ob- jection to the perfurm-tnoe of sacred inline,' pro- vided some collects with a brief address are said ab the beginning and the Benediction at tile end. Suefl a "service" wlJulu brighten aiauy an even- ing ill i«irishes where entertain>"cnts of a purely secular c ylot are few and far between, and niigitb. be ma le the means of raiding money for many worthy objects. IT Cilflllot be said that the police iu Ireland ex- clusively devote themselves to the illegal proceed- i'W8 of the ^Nationalists. Even iu the matter or the loyal are with as severely as LhQ disatiected aiUo..(r I'lle NoteveitaaOi'an^e: I^wlge is sacred from frum t,ho police. I have no {larliculurs its yet respecting ule soured, from which a place of this kind iii At-itiagii wao re- cently supplied with so largo a quantity of that Oil- •rnging pnxhtct.of the whisKey still which is known by t he name of itoteen, but 1 may assuniu that ita quality was highly approved of, for the members of the lodge were found drinking it from jugs." It has proved all ex^ tensive carouse for three of the- persons present, as they have each beeu fiuei a. hundred fhtunds. From the mode in which the liquor was served out, it is nut., perhaps, doing some of them all injustice if I infer bitafe they would have been in some danger of becoming in- toxicated if tlie police had not broken iu on their revels. In the course of the discussion which took placQ in the House of Commons the other night on tha vote for the maintenance and relutir of the royal; palaces, Mr. Anderson called attention to the fads that he found tunong the expenses for Hamptou. Court Palace were a guinea a week for a labourer a gninea a week for a turncock, ami" H8 for agrafe- catcher." This last item will be viewed with no slight uneasiness by all who keep a watchful ey. on the public purse. Financial reformers evee ready to smell a rat" may swallow the' wagea paid to the labourer and the turncock withdbfc much grimacing, but can hardly be expected 'to bear with equanimity a charge of £8 for a rab- catcher at a royal palace. The Government will do well to ascertain, with as little delay as possible*, from M. Paste or whether his plan igr the exter- mination of the rabbits in the Australian colonies by the introd uction of the germs of chicken-cholera might not prove effectual for the destruction of tho Hampton Court rats. M. Pasteur, of course, will require some remuneration but in getting rid of the rats we shall also get rid of the rat-catcher aud of a serious drain on the national resources. Rabelt lias a magistrate expressed himself ia terms so unmistakeabty condemnatory of any mem- ber of the (tolice force as those which were used tlie* other day by Mr. Moutagu Williams. Ib is witb much regret I find that this condemnation of tbo. conduct of the constables concerned was based upon the opinion that their evidence on certain point* was not to be depended upon as true. I need not go into all the particulars of this case, which haa been investigated with a care and conscientious- nfess on the part, of Mr. Montagu Williams which ahowa how worthily he discharges the functions of a magistrate. Whether the arretita of George ami Elizabeth Baker were originally quite unwarranU able-itiiil, indeed, something worse—I shall nob at this moment stop to inquire. This unfortunate man and his nieotkmade allegations which required serious attention, and they have received it. The result need not in the slightest degree shake the. public confidence 111 the police as a body, though it has been little short of disastrous to those few of them concerned in this case, and particularly at the Station w here the persons accused of being drunk and disorderly were forcibly conducted. George Baker complained that he had been violently assaulted aVUw station, and the back of his bead was certainly cut bttt the inspector and others who gave evidence 011 the part of the police did not support I his allegation, and the explallatione which were given by one of the constables as to how the prisoner was injured were utterly rejected by the 1 earned magistrate. In short, Mr. Montagu Williams declared that the conduct of the police in the ma tier from the highest to the lowest was eminently unsutisfactory," and must be,, inquired into Ht. Great. (Scotland Yard, t nforfcunatelv such inquiries are conducted in private, so that no details of the subsequent proceedings will become known.

The clerks of t he peace for the English counties will ioi jet, in London to consider t.he provisions of the Local Government. Bill. A telcram from Tangier states the British -brig Premiei was t.i.t.ally wrecked oli Kaii on tite t It %) I t.. Two German vessels were wiecaed at tin* tame time.