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The Merthyr Guardians Threatened…

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WISE AND OTHERWISE. LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM. It io a beautiful son r," he said, as the flute-Lka tones of her voice and the tum-tum of the piano ac- cmnpaniment died away in the frescoes of the ceiling, "hut I am not partial to secular music. I love tha ;rand old hymns best," Indeed ? she said, as she ran her fairy fingers up r.i:d down the seven octaves. "Yes," he exclaimed enthusiastically, "the grand old hymns for me." Well, f-he murmured, as a rosy blush stole over bet- damask chenks Mid the long, silken lashes shaded tl.e bright and beautiful eyes, and a sigh,soft as the perfumed zephyr that rustles-the leaves in the uro- br"ge< us grove at eve, when the diamond dewdrop t!»"-bJea on the petpls of the modest rose slightly F n-red her "well I do not know that I can 1,,1:W you, 'or I am fond of a, certain him myself." WHY HE WAS NOT AFRAID. "\Yhot:" tLI" mattf' To;n ?" "Mutter enough. Smith's dog- bit. me a minute ago.1' you ? Good gracious man: that dog is mad ? The deuce you say He ain't any madder than I ■'m. F-in the one to be mad. If I had bitten the dog i.'1 h have had a good excuse to get mad." hIt the dog has the by(rol)hob;a." Vi h;v's hydrophobia ?" »)•■ns. literally, in fear of water." J • t do you c;.re how iuuch that doar is ;ur,; wato: ? I wish he was af-aid of me." u don't understand. You are liable to d,)Z. ''A I'm not; but he s liable to catch it from me 3S S HIT, as I can borrow a gun." Ob, pshaw Tins fear of water—you are liable to have it." No, I'm a cold-water Baptist." me at the e ^te, love," has been changed jo _.L et meat the grate, love. The cool weather mid necessitated the change. ijeader of orchestra to young Irishman who wants to join "Do you play by ear or note? "Nether, oy' j tbers. I play wid my hands." '-ays an exchange: "With money come poor rela- 11 *is. But poor relations never come with money, j. l-s IS one of the rules that won't work both ways. V surgical journal tells of a man who lived five > e.'irs with a bail in his head. We have known girls to live twice as long with nothing but balls in their i.eids. > "letter haul your head 111, uia'am," replied a b\ slander, "if you want the train to go on, for it v.. n'i move s ) lou* as the danger signal's out." Luckily for that bystander the train did at once move on. "Yes," remarked Fenderson, "I was pretty hard ores-ud for mouey for a while, but I am now on my n." Are you?" rep'ied Foug, glancing at No. li"s you -.ire lucky. Nuthing I shou d say could overthrow you." To a north rn hamlet a Highlander was pasting up F. bill abllt the School Board election Another Hign- lander standing behind,earnestly spelbn/ out tho word triennial, all at once s iys Tonal', whaur 'ill that ¡dace ca' Triennial be?" Scene: A Government office. Junior Clerk Haw!' Look here, Fipps: I want to be away a iii,), tli or so." Senior Clerk "All right, old fellow. L'ave, I siipl)ose,! Junior Clerk: "Haw? no; ÚOInf'Rt.ic afHlctio¡¡-ome'-Jlle'" going to marry me." Scene, a Scotch school boaid meeting, inquiring member: Huw is it that the doiiiiiiies mak' four qu rters' fee oot o' the year and get six weeks* holidays? Another member: "How can ye get four quarters, out o a soo, and hae the heid and the feet ieft ? Music-teacher: Your daughter, Mrs. Jones, has real musical talent. She outiht to have a thorough training." Mrs. Jones: "That's just what I was tellmg Mr. Jones to-day and we agreed to engage a competent teacher for her after she has finished her next quarter with yoil." "Donald," said a Scotch dame, looking up from the Catechism, to her son, What's a slander ? A slander, &ude mither ?" quoth young Donald, twisting the corner of his plaid. A-whed, I hardly keu, unless it be mayhap an ower-true tale which one gudr. woman tells o' another." Gentleman (to beggar accompanied by his little boy): "Sv the little fellow isd-af ? Bggar: Yes, quite deaf." Gent: "Then I will just box his ears." Boy: Naw, naw G nt: "Tt>ere, you see how he can hear ? Beggar: "Yes, but he can only hear the ew words he has been used to from a child A Scotch preacher sent to officiate one Sunday at a country parish was accommodated at night in the manse in a very diminutive closet instead of the usual best bedroom appropriated to strangers. "Is this the bedro. m?" he said starting back in amazement. "Deed aye, sir, this is the prophet's chamber." It maun he for the mil,or prophets then," was the quiet reply. "Look here, sir the cob you sold me won't do. He jibs. I can't get him over the bridge." That's the very reason I sold him." "But you advertised that he was To be old for no other reason than that the owner wants to leave the town.' Well, and so I did. And if you can leave town with him it will be more than I coul i." A wealthy banker, not havin ben able to find a sufficiently uncommon and expensive toy, presented his little grandson on his birthday with a bank-note of considerable value. Soon afterwards the little fellow's mother wasliorrified on entering the nursery to find him ccying bitterly. What is the matter, darling she asked. "Ii..s not gra!Jdpapagiven Y'IU :mythwfí?" Ye.Yes!" was the sobbing reply. "Tell ma what mv dear." "Why, he gave me that ugly piece of paper that I have just thrown into the fire Probably tli, iii,,st btisiness-ike hen on record was orn owned by an American gentleman. He had for long noted that, when his hen laid an egg, she turned round to have a look at it, to see that it was all right; and this peculiarity of the fowl's—which is common to alt hens—set him thinking. He con- structed tha hen's nest in such a manner that the weight of the egg w iuld cause the bottom 01 the licsfc to yield suiffciently to allow the egg to drop through into a net beneath then tha nest, closed up. The fowl was watched. As usual, it iaid its egg, and turiif d round to ey it. To it> surprise, there was no egg. It must have 111 ide a mistake. It laid another egg, or thought it did but still thero wa* no egg to he seen. So it tried a third, and so on. Th3 ingenious gentleman should have made a fortune out of his hea but he did uou. A Paris j >urnal tells the following story of the penalties of greatness, and how one may occasi,1I1<111,v avoid paying them. A distinguished physician in Paris could not shew his nose out of doors without being every minute acjostei by someone. Ah, doctor, how glad I am to see you. All this morning I hive fei!—what do you suppose it can be?" To such an ;r extent was the poor man plagued that he determined at all hazards to rid himself of this torment. A few days since, in a very public p ace he heard,as usual Ah, doctor, how (.lad 1" and so forth. "Good groci'iusl" he replied this is perfect business. I must see your tongue out it out, please." And there in the open street, the man obeyed. The doctor studied it for a short time. Very good," said he at length now shut y ur eyes." Again the patient obeyed, where- upon the doctor weut on his way, leaving his tor- mentor in this ridiculous position in the midst of an amused crowd. The b:>st anecdote of General Giant which we have seen is the one 'elated by General Clinton B. Fish, who says "I was sitting with the General and, otLer, whfm an officer high in rank rushed in, shoat- ing, 'Oh boys, I've such a good story to tell you? Thi're are no ladies present, I believe "T) but there are. gentlemen present,' was the curt ivply of Grant. The story was not told." A festive Scot had been entertaining a briber Scot" in his London home, and towards the JUI.III hours he t,Id his Lmtler to order a cab for his triond, whom he addressed as follows: bc):t upright in his chair, ani staring straight at his guest; "ye'll excuse in-* coming oot—11X1 afraid o the draughts. Man," he continued earnestly, when ye get ootside ye'll see twa cabs. Tak the first-- LiAs ottior's not there." Tom, a word with you." "Be then; I'm in a hurry." "What did you give your stck horse t'other (iay A pint of turpelit-ine." John hurried heme and admini-tered the ain,) dose to his favourite charger, which died in half all hour. His opinion of Turn's veterinary ability was modified. He met him. the next day. "Well, Tom, I gave my horse a pint of turpentine, and ifc killed him. "So it did icino." The bitter dispute betweenColman and his biother- 111-law and partner was wont to explode in violent altercations. In one of these Mr. Morris accused him of "taking- ;,w,y his xti,n and the following dialogue ensaed :—C. How did I take away your name?" I:" Bv vilifying- rn" with other odious epithets." C: "Whit?" M: "You called mtJ a scoundrel, sir." C., a forced gr-u "Keep yout name.


Caerphilly Police Court.



i •. 'n___---------— rSelling…