pgff- _■ — — PARISH COUNCILS. IHTERESTTNG QCESTIOFTS AND INSTRUCTIVE ANSWERS. (From The Councils' Gazette!*) Power of Parish Council to Claim Footpath.— What number of years' occupation of a footpath through fields by the public, undisturbed by the owners of the land, is necessary before it can" he claimed by the parish council as belonging to the parish ? Answer.—The question whether a footpath iv open to the public or not does not depend upon anyprecise number of years' use. Suppose the free- bolder is in occupation, if he does any act which is explainable only on the supposition that he has dedicated the footpath to the public, the use of it for a few days would be sufficient. On the other hand, suppose the freeholder grants a lease of land for 50 years, the lessee cannot dedicate to the public a footpath across the land, so as to bind the landlord, for the simple reason that the lessee cannot give to the public what he has not got himself, viz., the right to the use of the land after the lease has expired. If the law were otherwise, the most monstrous injustice might be done, for a tenant who quarrelled with his landlord might seriously damage, or even destroy, the value of his property; e.g.. if he dedicated to the public all the paths in a garden, and an extra path or two across a tennis lawn. The latter part of your ques- tion uses words which suggest a false impression. The parish council cannot claim a footpath that is a matter left to the rural district council. And the footpath does not belong to the parish in the sense that land belongs to a landowner; all that the public can claim is a right of way over the land, they cannot claim the land itself. Power of Assistant Overseer to Act as Election Agent.—The parish of A., after the Local Govern- ment Act, 1894, has been divided into two parishes- urban and rural. I am an assistant overseer and clerk to P.C. for the parish of A rural. I have been engaged by a person who is a candidate for an election on the Urban District Council of A urban, as his agent. I have been with him canvassing from house to house, &c. Does my position in the rural parish forbid me from acting as an agent for'the above- mentioned person, who is in the urban parish ? I have received a letter from another candidate for the same ward, who says that my position in the rural parish forbids me to interfere in any way with the t-rban District Council election in the said urbatn parish. He says: Your salary being paid out of the rates forbids you from interfering in elections in the urban parish," and he says that he will report the matter to the Local Government Board. My salary is paid by the Parish Council of the rural parish. Answer.—We do not think that the fact that you are paid out of the rates of one parish disqualifies you for taking part (even as a paid agent) in an election in another parish. It is, however, impossible for vis to prove that there is no rule or statute to J orbia, you so acting. If you will ask the person who alleges that you are disqualified to state on what he relies as the foundation for his allegation,and-will repeat your question giving this information, wewill consider it. There is, however, another more serious question. You say you have been engaged by a candidate as his agent, and have been with him canvassing. Now, if you mean that you have been ''engaged" as a paid agent, and if part of the work for which you are to be paid is canvassing, then it seems to us that both you and the candidate are perilously near being guilty of illegal employment, sllle the eidployineiit paid' canvassers is not permitted. jU Power of Councillors to Purchase Debris of Council Property.—My council have recently acquired several houses (under a provisional order) for the purpose of forming a new street on their site. The debris of the buildings to be pulled down is going to be sold by public auction, the reserve price being known to the auctioneer and council's surveyor only. Are the councillors legally precluded from purchas- ing ? Answer.—We think they are. Election of Chairman of Parish Council.—The election of a chairman is the first business to Be transacted at the annual meeting, sec. 3, sub-sec. 8. It will therefore be observed that a chairman is to continue in office until his successor is elected. (1) Is chairman of parish Council thd propdrper'son to call the first meeting after April 15 ? (2) Is chairtnetv for one year entitled by law to preside at the annual meeting in the following year, at which the jftrst bu^-> ness will be the electien of 3'nftW«h*.rman ? '(8) Can the new parish council legally efcoct tempo raj-illy from their own body a chairman uqtika new chair- man for the ensuing year is elected ? Answar.-—He can do so, and we think it is best that he should do so. Notice of the meeting should be given to every member of the council immediately after his election. (2) He is entitled to preside at the annual meeting until his successor is elected; as soon as thatjelec- tion is completed, the new chairman will take the chair. (3) Not if the outgoing qhairman is present at the meeting, and is willing to take the chair. Appointment of Assistant Overseers.-Prepara' ion, of Rate and Receipt Books.—(1) A new urban dis- trict has just been constituted here. Clause 6 says: The appointment of pverseers of the poor for the new parish of A, and any appointment of assistant overseers for such parish, shall be made in like manner as if such parish had been a parish included in an urban district on the appointed day within the meaning of the Local Government Act. 1894." It is presumed that under this clause the Urban Council is unable to appoint overseers without obtaining the power from the Local Government Board under sec. 3 of the Act. Is this so ? (2) What is the pro- cedure for appointment of overseers in an urban diar triat. where the council do not secure the power re- ferred to ? (3) Whose duty is it to prepare the rate- book and rate receipt cheque books in a parish where there is both an assistant overseer and collector? (4) Where there is a clerk and collectorforan urban council. whose duty is it to prepare the general district rate- bookandthe receipt-book? Answer.—(l)We thinkthat is the effect of the clause. (2) The power of appoint- ing is in the hands of the justices. But in soizio parishes it is the practice to hold- a Ttttrv tueeting, and choose certain persons whose names are to be submitted to the justices for election. -The justices generally select the first names on the list, and in this way, in substance, though not in form, the vestry, choose the overseers. (3) The rate-book is to be pre- pared by the assistant overseer, the rate-receipt cheque book by the collector. (4) The general district rate is to be collected by such persons as the urban dis- trict council from time to time appoint. Prima facie, the preparation of the rate-book is part of the clerk's duties, and the preparation of the receipt-books falls upon the collector; but the question depends upon the special arrangements and orders made by the council. Compulsory Acquirement of Burial Ground.—Our parish council (aftef the parish meeting have adopted the Burial Act) make an application to certain land-, owners in our parish, asking will they sell two acres in a central place in the parish for having a burial round, according to the wishes of the hereditaments of this parish and the Burial Act? We received a reply that they won't sell at all for any price. Under the circumstances the parish council made another attempt, to know the electors* voice, to make a poll' by ballot as to which place they would decide for. The result is as follows for a certain piec6 of land: No. of Votes. Field, No. 1. 1 acre of the plot 18 11 2. 11 11 11 2: i, 3. >> >» 1, 8 4. „ 11 11 1 Of course the No. 1 have the highest numbed; What step do you advise our council to take to carry the matter to a final course ? There are 15 gentlemen on our council, five or six clever men, and say seven: to nine ignorant. This is to say, there is a,field,J very convenient to the parishioners, they eould have' without acting by compulsion, at, say, to JE90 an acre, but this not to the satisfaction of the said, parishioners. Kindly advise us as clear as possible in your valuable paper, and we shall be much obliged. How can we find the land to have the burial ground under the eireLITtiRtanees, on aseasv terms as possible? Can we get it without appealing to the urban council to have a special Act of Parliament. There is some- thing in the Public Health Act and in the Local Government Act, 1894, to the effect that the parish council could make no owner of land sell for the same subject—the burial ground. Answer: The parish council can take land by agreement without having to obtain any Act, or any sanction Or order of any other authority. If, however, it is necessary to borrow money, the consent of the parish meeting, the county council, and the LocalGovernment Board is required. We advise you to avoid any attempt to put in /orce compulsory powers, if you can possibly do so, as that will involve delay, and a considerable expense in all probability. The powers of the parish council depend on the Local Government Act, 1894, and on the Burial Acts. You need not trouble about he Public Health Act, 1875, which does not apply t9 your case. '0:'1;
HE But you might in time team to like me." dhe "It is not impossible, ft fyii will feep out of my sight." ,> Do you know I don't think much of Mawson." "You don't hayr- to. You can size Mawson up in two seconds." RpGrlz Aw --htiss- GiitLce tmh-%I*ays in my mindvdontchei- know.? Miss Grace 44 OtioClttMi!' that is worse than living in a flat."
SCIENCE NOTES. M. PIKTTE, who devotes much time and money to the research of the first vestiges of art. ir France, that is to say, among the caves of the Stone Age, has been giving an account of his discoveries in L'Anthropologie." The French cave man not only carved the heads of horses on the tusks of mam- moths, but the eternal feminine" in full figure (cn ronde bossc), with remarkable skill, seeing that his graver was only a. sharp flint. Heads of females which Piette has found wear a headdress not unlike a judge's wig, but whether it is the natural hair or an artificial cap is not easy to determine. The skulls are long and slope gently to the crown, their cheek bones are broad, their noses straight, and their chins pointed. WURJi the cold of the Glacial Epoch killed or drove away the mammoth, early man found material for sculpture in reindeer horn, and has left very clever engravings of reindeer and horses' heads on it. in low and' high relief. Sometimes the horse is given in full, also the disappearing mammoth. Graceful ornaments, from whence have come our arabesques, are also drawn. With the return of a moister climate, the reindeer retired to the north, and the artist had to seek another material, which he found in stone and horn of other deer. On these he engraved fish, deer, and other animals. It is interesting to note that, like the modern artist, he signs works which have satisfied him the most. We may add that M. Salomon Reinach has discovered in the grottos of Mentone a nude figurine in steatite which probably dates from the end of the Old Stone Age. The head is oval and the brow receding, as in the Piette figures a thick mass of hair falls over the nape of the neck, recalling the chevelure in j archaic Greek statues. These and other discoveries tend to show that there was no hiatus between the palaeolithic and neolithic men on the Continent. TUB question of shifting the axis of the earth, and so altering the existing climates, was (the Globe says) recently discussed, from a theoretical point of view, by M. Fouch6, Vice-President of the Astronomical Society of France, whose brother had already pointed out that,, while we cannot prevent the axis of rota- tion of the earth from directing itself towards the Great Bear, we might so turn the earth that the axis will pass through one or the other point of its sur- face. It is possible to do so by making a nearly circular canal, with its centre on the Equator, and a radius of several degrees, and causing a sufficient mass of water to flow in it always in the same direc- tion bv meafis of pumps. When the water begins to flow the pole will deviate, and when it stops, the pole will swing back, but not to its old position. By repeating this process, one can even turn the world topsy-turvy, and put the South Pole where the North now is. COLONEL GUYOT, chief of the Service of Mines in Madagascar, states that gold occurs not only at it Suberbieville, on the west coast, at Boucnia, Isut in Emyrne, near Mount Hiaranandriana on the Kit- samby, south of Mount Ivatave on the Saomby, its tributary; in the Betsileo; at Hoalana and at Anasha; also in Antsianaka, at Antsevakely, on the rivers Bemariva, Morovato, and Marijao. Until now only surface diggings have been made. No silver has been fpund as yet. Moonstones, amethyst, Spanish topaz, agates, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, aquamarines, garnets, rock crystals, and cornalines are also found in many parts. Iron abounds. Copper, lead, tin, and mercury occur, but coal is scarce. TURNTABLE scenes for theatres have been used by the Japanese for many years, but only adopted recently in Paris, at the Theatre des Variety's. The centre of the stage is a circular platform, on which two scenes-can be set at a time, one for the act in progress and the other to follow. The scene-shifters work while the play goes on. When the curtain falls the platform is turned half round by a rope and pulleys. THE Falls of Niagara are to be lighted by accty- lene lamps and reflectors. Trials made have been fairly successful, though the light, is not so brilliant as the electric arc. It is proposed to illuminate fcheui on summer nights for the enjoyment of Tieitors. TIIE race of Mahomet's camel, which carried him in four bounds from Jerusalem to Mecca, is evi- dently extinct, for the camels of to-day only cover qeven miles an hour, and seldom or never keep up this pace for more than two hours running. When forced or overdriven, the wise camel kneels down and declines to budge. ACCORDING to M. Edmond Perrier, member of the Academie des Sciences, Paris, 1\:1 establishment for pisciculture costs about ;CI(K)O, and its yearly main- tenance E400. He regards that of Dunbar in Scot- and as the most perfect model, and has recently Copied it in founding, the maritime laboratory in the island ot, Xatiaou, near at. V aast la liougue (jManche). It comprises basing for acclimatising fiph and basins for breed ins; them. He expects that hesç, nurseries of fish, will become very common along the sea coast, and be supported by fishermen. THE Onondag tribe of Indians which is the official Wampum Keeper of the Six Nations lia6 informed the Regents of the University of the State of New I York that the University has been designated as Wampum Keeper of the tribe, and that the wampum I belts will henceforth be deposited in the State ) Museum. M. GARRMONT has brought out a camera for the ex- press purpose of photographing the country below a captive balloon, at viirjpfis heights. The camera is suspended from the balloon so as always to hang vertically, and has two lenses, one to photograph the ground below', the-other to photograph the dial of the aneroid barometer. The pictures are taken automati- cally on a running strip of celluloid every t wo minutes. The focal distance of the' camera, and the distance measured on the negative between two objects on the ground a known distance apart, gives the height of the balloon. The apparatus was described to the Academic des Sciences, and tried successfully on the Eiffbl Tower and with balloons. ROKTGKN photographs are sharper when the photo- graphic plate is backed with lead. This metal seems to prevent the scattering of the rays. The opaque object to be photographed may also be protected by a cylinder of lead. This use of lead shortens the time of exposure a good deal. IT is a well-known fact that fish, like insects, are attracted to any bright light and a French entomologist has lately taken advan- tage of this circumstance in fishing for specimens in a pond. With a portable battery and a small incandescent electric lamp attached tp a net he was able to secure a large number of fish, larva;, tadpoles, &c., at one operation. The net., measuring about a yard across, was slowly lowered into the water, and when it reached the bottom of the pond the little lamp above it was connected with the battery. All the living creatures within reach of the apparatus rushed towards the light, and were immediately secured in the net. It is obvious that the method is applicable on a far larger, scale, and may prove to be of great service to night fishermen. To cast a large sheet of plate glass is, in modern hands, a very simple affair. A table is prepared, with sides made of strips of iron, forming a shallow, level tank. Into this the molten glass which is made from the whitest sand, glass fragments, lime, manganese soda, cobalt, and other chemicals, is poured. Immediately the operators begins smoothing and levelling the mass with a great iron roller, which brings it down exactly to the level of the iron rim. It is then put through annealing and tempering pro- cesses, which occupy several days after this it is ground to a perfectly uniform thickness, then polished until it acquires the utmost brilliancy. The cost of glass is greatly increased in proportion to its size. This is due to the fact that a, large sheet may turn out imperfect flaws and ripples, which utterly destroy its value as a strictly first- class commodity. Small pieces are cut from the per- feet places in the large plate, and in this way the most serious loss is avoided.
Is your sister at home, 'Willie ?" asked Willie's sister's young man. "No; I heard her say she was engaged this afternoon—but don't be frightened; I don't think it's a marrying engagement." HFRP. is a very good book," said the persistent railway-bookstall. "'How to Win a Woman. Look here," said the baid-headed passenger, if you've got one on how to lose 'em, I'll buy it at your own price." WHAT I" said the judge, "you expect me to send your husband to prison when you acknowledge that you threw five flat-irons at him, and he only threw one at you?" Yes, that's all right, judge," said the irate woman; but, then, the one he threw hit me." DENNIS thinks a great ¿.,al of me." "So? I didn't think you were such friends." We're not. I owe him money: I SHOULD like to know your intentions, sir," said } the old man to the youth who had been calling on .Jiis daughter with great regularity for a longtime^ Same here," replied the young man promptly, I'd like to know yours."
READINGS FOR THE YOUNG. THEN AND NOW. In olden times it doth appear The maid of high degree, Whilst men went out with sword and spear, At home did sit from year to year, And little fun had she. The livelong day her wheel went round, Sped by her nimble foot, With such a whirring, cooing sound, That I'd have sunk in slumber sound Amongst my maidens mute. I have a wheel—the modern maid If ) Treads hers as much as she, Who, 'midst the stir of siege and raid, Sat in her bower, fair but staid, And heard sweet minstrelsie. Ab, nowadays 'tis different quite I My wheel, takes me afar," I have no steel-clad, plumed knight For me, his ladye fayre," to fight- Tweed-clad my escorts are. I sit not with my wheel at home And spin the linen fair, Through pleasant lanes and woods I roam, Along the sands where breakers foam- It takes me everywhere. 'Tis true the woollen gown I wear ,r Was bought, not spun by me; I'm sure I am not half as fair As she of old-time—I don'I care; Her spinning-wheel I would not change For my dear wheel, on which I range The roads. Don't you agree ? t- -Bella Sydney Woolf. Tllr FOR TAT. Chief Justice Parsons, the American judge, whilst still at the Bar, was once engaged in a very heavy case. The chief advocate on the other side was a Mr. Sullivan. During the trial both lawyers grew very bitter. Whilst Parsons was addressing the jury, Sullivan took his (Parsons') black hat and wrote upon it in chalk the words, This is the hat of a rascal." The barristers around began to titter, and when Parsons saw the disgraceful legend he stopped his speech for a few minutes, saying-" May it please your worship, I ask the protection of the court Brother Sullivan has been stealing my hat, and writ- ing his name on it." It need hardly be added that he was allowed to finish his speech without further interruption from" Brother ,Sullivap,vJio got rather more than he had bargained for. BEAUTIFUL SPRING. The daisy buds are blowing, The birds begin to sing, And all things glad are growing Within the light of Spring. The silver brooks are shining, From winter frost set free And garlands we are twining Of fair anemone. 0 Spring, sweet Spring, we greet thee We children love thee well- The birds with music meet thee In forest, field, and dell. The hedges thou art wreathing With garlands bright and gay, And all the land is breathing That Summer's on the way. The voice of Spring is saying, In gentle tones and clear: Should Winter seem dlaying, Have patience, children dear! "For cold and darkness never. Shall to the end remain; The Lord is Love for ever, And sends the Spring again." -Margaret Haycmft. i HOW SNIPE WAS SAVED. Snipe seemed quite ready for the start, but not. just as eager as usual, his master thought. He trotted on gaily, however, keeping well in front, Willie and a native lad of 15, a Kuraba tracker, folloni-ing. And thus they entered the jungle. And then scarcely five minutes had passed before the boys saw a tiger-cub watching and creeping after Snipe, who was 20 or 25 yards in advance. The cub was just beyond the baby stage, and strong and powerful enough to have made a meal of a bigger dog than Snipe without any trouble. Most likely it was the first time he was let out on the war-path alone, and he was burning to show his mother and the cubs at home what a grand hunter he was going to be. He stalked poor Snipe without even rustling a leaf under his paw. crouching when the dog stood, and following when it advanced. Willie's, heart beat wildly when lie aw the danger Snipe was in. If once the tiger-cub made its spring, nothing could save "him He seemed already to hear the dog's dying cry, to see his lovely brown eyes turned to him for the help he fcould not give. Oh, if only he had stayed at home. is he felt inclined to do when he found his dog sc Spiritless For he, too, had been a bit lazy that morning. But he would save Snipe! The tiger had essened the distance now, and Willie saw it waf going to crouch for the final spring. Snipe had just iponie to a standstill atf an open space in the jungle with head erect and quivering tail. Quick at thought, Willie slipped a couple of ball-cartridges intc Jiis gun and waited till the cub crouched. Then In heard the Kuruba boy whisper eagerly: No fire No fire! Big tiger go for sahib if he hurts-" The rest was drowned in the report. The tiger had crouched, and, covering it, Willie fired. The smoke cleared, the cub had fallen as if wounded—Willie had just time to see that-when a roar rent the air, a -roar-of such rage that it woke the echoes like thunder. And then a largo tiger bounded towards the wounded cab, licking it with fearful growls. THE CIIILD AND THE WREN. From branch to branch of his tree-house Creeps, like n, soft and silent mouse, w The littl^ wren; what's he about Moving so quickly in and out ? Most other birds have flown away, Why does so small a creature stay ? Has he some business of his own That none can do save lie alone ?" For me and my affairs he seems To care no more than I for dreams. But 1 would greatly like to know What plan he's got in view just now. Or why, with all the world to roam, His choice is here to mak6 his home In this lone churchyard, where he's found So often flitting round and round. -Arthur S. Brooke. JEW AND GENTILE. Some funny scenes are to be seen at times in the county court of Whitechapel, a district in the East- end of London very largely occupied by Jews. The folk who appear at this court are mostly of the Jewish race and faith. They therefore swear on the Old Testament. When they enter the witness-box the usher hands them a copy of these Scriptures printed in IL brew, asking at the same time, Are you a Jew ?" One lnorning a negro went into the box, and the usher, either from force of habit or absence of mind, asked the usual question, Are you a Jew ?" Golly, massa," answered Sambo, do I look de colour ob one ?" Amidst the laughter of the court, the black man was sworn as a Christian.
No, sir," said the veteran in the blue coat as he stamped his crutch on the floor to further emphasize his disapproval, no, siree. I have been ih a hundred battles I suppose and had adventures and escapes, by flood and field, but I disapprove of exaggeration in-the narration of them for the gratification of the curious and the critical. That is one reason why I do not respond readily to your request to tell you a story. However, there is one incident which occurred to me in the battle of Gettysburg that I think should be told for the benefit of history, and as I have never mentioned it before I shall do so now. It occurred in one of the fights around Little Round Top and I was out op aji,.adrance line in the woods. I was not expecting the ewtny at that jnoment and was standing near a stump peering through the trees, when suddenly a gun cracked and a bullet knocked the bark from a tree behind me. At the, saine time it reb. showed up and I banged away at him. Then I attemped to reload, but in iny excitement I broke the partridge off and only rammed the powder-and part of the paper around it info my gun. We had muzzle loaders., you will remember, in those days. The Johnny in the meantime was coming up on me and just as I got the wad rammed into my gun he rose in front of me with his gun ready. I had 110 chance in the world, I knew, but I had some nerve and 1 pulled up niy gun and took aim for the sake of the bluff. As I did so my foeman's gun went off with a I bang and I felt something strike the front, of my gun. I knew at once that his bullet had struck the bore of my musket and had gone into the barrel thus fur- nishing me with what I had lost in my excitement. Under the circumstances it was rather remarkable that I kept my wits about me so clearly, but I did, and ere my foe had an opportunity to do further injury I had placed him hors de combat by shooting his own bullet into his leg and laming Him so he could render no more service to the Confederate states of America." It was a happy thought of mine, don't you think," concluded the veteran, "and one well worthy in its conception and execution to be pre- served in the archives of-the country." And nobody denied that the veteran had some thoughts worthy of preservation.
LITllEtARY EXTRACTS -1 LISETTE.— Soft and still in the shadows brown, Lisette sits watching the twinkling town, And ever and aye as she combs her hair She hears the revel of Vanity Fair. Fiddle and drum and showman's boll, And the merry laugh of Pulcinel; And voices that call through the moonshine bright, Come with us, dance with us, love, to-night I" Ah, Lisette tny pretty Lisette t Do not listen do not care! Lips are laughing, but eye6 are wet, Hearts afe breaking in Vanity Fair! Just for an hour to her heart she cries, As she sees the gleam in her lover's eyes, And she sets a rose in her golden hair And dancen away to Vanity Fair. And the lights flash, and the voices peal, Ever the dancers whirl and wheel, While the words in her heart are ringing yet, Stay with us, dance with 11s, love Lisette l" Ah, Lisette! my pretty Lisette! Do not listen! do not care! I Lips are laughing, but eyes are wet, Hearts are breaking in Vanity Fair I Lisette has gone away through the night, Into the world she deems so bright, Till time shall silver her golden hair, And she learns the meaning of Vanity Fair. God bring her home some day, some day, To the only joy that will last for aye, And send her the love and the peace from care That never is found in Vanity Fair Ah, Lisette my pretty Lisette! Won't you listen ? Won't you care ? Lips are laughing, but eyes are wet, I Hearts are breaking in Vanity Fair I -F. E. Weatherley, in Temple Bar. LAND SUEVBTING IN ANCIENT TimEs.-In the Zeit- hnft fur Fiermessunyswesen Prof. Hammer directs attention to a Babylonian plan depicted on a clay tablet found in the excavations at Tello, and now preserved in the Constantinople Museum. The plan was made about 3000 years before the Christian era, and represents an estate belonging to King Dungi. It is of importance not only as a contribution to the early history of surveying, but also as a confirmation of the views on Babylonian measures of length and of area propounded by Reisner at a meeting of the Berlin Academy of Sciences on April 9, 1896. A copy of the plan has been examined by Eisenlohr, the eminent authority on Egyptian archaeology, and he claims to be able to read from the cuneiform in- scription the names of the two surveyors engaged. On one side of the tablet there is a dimensioned sketch of the plan of the estate not drawn to scale. The estate is divided by the survey lines into rect- angles, right-angled triangles, and trapeziums. In each case the area is stated, two results obtained by different methods being given. Eisenlohr has plotted the survey, and his calculations of the area agree with the results given on the tablet. On the other side of the tablet the areas of the various portions are added together, two sets of figuree being used, and the arithmetical mean taken. as the correct area. The unit adopted, the gan," ia thought to be equal to 4199 square metres. The absolute measures are, however, of slight importance. More important is the fact that land surveying was carried on 4000 years B.C., apparently in an accurate manner, and certainly with check measurements. PICTURES OF BYGONE DAYS.—In the youthful days of Aubrey de Vere, the Irish poet, now an octogena- rian, Irish gentleman fought duels, and did not love their enemies. In his volume of Recollections," Mr. De Vere relates how an old gentleman of high breeding walked up and down the library at Curragh Chase, the lovely home in which the poet has lived all his life, and exclaimed; It is a great thing to be able to look back on along life, and record as I can that never once did any man injure me but sooner or later I had my revenge." That picture of a bygone times should be looked upon by those who think that the former days were better than these." Another picture of these good old times," when the drinking habits of well bred Irish gentlemen caused them to be carried drunk from the dinner- table and put to bed, should also be noted by the pessimists. Mr. De Vere remembers his father tell- ing him this story: When.he wqs eighteen years of age, after a day's hunt, he had only, avoided intoxication at dinner by watching till the others were beginning to get tipsy, and atter that pouring each new glass of wine down his neck-cloth, then worn so large that the chin was buried in it. When the last of the topers lay under the table, he rushed Jo his. bedroom, took a batli, dressed again, and joined the ladies at their twelve-o'clock tea. The next morning at breakfast all the gentlemcii rose (when my father entered, and received him as if lie had been a prince. They had heard that he had been Unaffected by the wine, and considered that so strong a head was entitled to the highest honours." WHEN SPECTACLES WEKK NEW.—In the days when spectacles were introduced, the world was not all wise. Glasses became so fashionable that people did not wait until necessity compelled them to adopt the new custom. Whether their eyesight was bad or good, those who would be stylish Wore spectaclea. In Spain they formed part of the costume of every well-dressed person. The object of the wearer in putting on glasses was to increase the gravity of his appearance, and render himself more directly imposing. A young monk who had, through the assistance of his family, caused his order to succeed in an important law-suit, felt himself liberally rewarded when the prior, having embraced him warmly, testified his gratitude by saying, Brother, put on spectacles." The glasses of spectacles were proportioned in size, not to the eyes, but to the rank of the wearer, those worn by the Spanish nobles being as large as one's hand. The Marquis of Astorga, Viceroy of Naples, after having had his bust sculptured in marble, particularly enjoined the artist not to fcrget his beautiful spec- tacles. THE THEORY OF LIFE.-The remarks of Professor Ray Lankester in his lecture as Fullerian Professor of Physiology at the Royal Institution, indicate that, while the nature of life is still a difficult and obscure problem, the phenomenon known as- vital activity is now seen to be the result of chemical and physical changes in the living cell. In other wordo, the mystery of life is a mystery only in the sense that the nature of chemical and physical change is itself a mystery. There is therefore nothing more occult about a mass of living protoplasm than about a growing crystal. Both are manifestations of mole- cular activity. Professor Lankester gave a short histori- cal sketch of the manner in which scientific men had reached the cell-theory of life. Life," he said was a condition that was extraordinarily difficult to define. A mere verbal definition that life was the continuous adjustment of internal to external rela- tions did not give a very clear idea of living things. The only way was to study their structure and pro- perties. The greatest generalisation of biology was that all living things were either simple corpuscles or cells, or made up of masses of such cells. This dis- covery was commenced by Robert Hooke, who pub- lished a book, Micrographia,' in 1664, in which, among other examples, he showed a drawing of the cells in a piece of cork as seen through a microscope. Gradually it was observed that this kind of structure was general, but it was only when more powerful microscopes were made that it was seen that the cavities were filled, not with air, bqt with a slimy substance. In 1830, Robert Brown observed that this slimy substance always contained a denser central body, called the nucleus. This cell structure was found in all parts of plants or animals, though the cdls-varied in shape. Then Theodore Schwann laid down the cell theory that the activities of the different parts of animals, the sum total of which niade up life, were to be sought' in the substance of the cell, and the chemical and physical changes and properties of the cell constituetd life." lx -riiv Siiinxs.-If anyone intending to hunt in the Shires were asked which was the most popular pack, he or she, with vague reminiscences of Whyte Melville, would answer, the Quorn or the Pytchley. But not the whole of these countries is equally good, and the point is not so much with what hounds you hunt as M:herc you live, and whether hunting is to be a spoial relaxation or a sport. No doubt, for sport, pure and simple^ the best plan would be to cake a house near Billesdon or Skeffington, as either of these places commands the, best of the Quorn, and the Cottes- n)ore. ii.id all Mr. Fernie's hunt. If, however, it is a question of society, then Melton is certainly the spot to choose. It is a rather unattractive little Midland manufacturing town, but it lavs itself out to cater for hunting people, and villts and stabling are plentiful, although they are not cheap; while; the hotels are good, old-fashioned, and coui-j fortable, and the proprietors understand the needs of hunting men and women. Protll this point you will get the Quorn on Mondays and Fridays when that pack is in its best country the Cottesmore on Tuesdays and ) alternate Saturdays, and the Belvoir on Wednes- days and those Saturdays not taken up by the Cottes- more4, while on Tliiirtditys a special trairt will take you down to Kibworth to-Mr. Fernie's meets in his best country—and his best country is the best in Leicestershire. Thus, rix days a week can be had easily, and, in addition, you can enjoynll the pleasures of society, dine out, play cards, play billiards, and sometimes even dance; and there is more poker, bridge, and bezique played in* Melton in the season than in any town in England, except, perhaps, at Newmarket in a race wtek.-Cassdl's Magazine. ATTLICTKD WITH GOLD Rrsn."—The discovery of auriferous metal in the Yukon district is responsible for the quiet disappearance of hundreds of young men of various ranks in life. Th.-y are off to Klondike, and the majority can hardly be expected i I y to return. A few months ago (writes a contri- butor) an ex-ariuy captain with whom I am well acquainted called at my house. His object. was to pore over a large modern atlas which I possess. This gentleman, who formerly served in a Lancer regiment, has since his retirement, nearly 15 years ago, been in nearly every quarter of the globe in search of treasure. His income is limited—something like £ 600 a year. Luckily for him. he is an unmarried man with no establish- ment to keep up, and he has spent at least £ 300 per annum in travelling expenses. Three years ago, hearing that a treasure ship had been sunk in the Gulf of Mexico, he made Porto Itica his head- quarters, and even engaged as a diver on a futile expedition the originators of the scheme residing not far from Fleet-street, and netting some thousands out of the gullibility of such credulous individuals as my friend the ex-captain. That he is now in the Yukon district there can be no doubt, as I saw him off from a Midland sta- tion—his ticket for Vancouver duly purchased, and his luggage labelled Yukon, via Canadian Pacific Railway. Some years ago-just before the beginning of the Afghan War of 1879-80—along with two friends, head masters of large Board Schools in Man- chester, I was strolling along one of the streets of Cottonopolis, when we came to an office bearing the legend, Eligible young men wanted for the Cape Rifles." We stopped, and one of my friends, suddenly turning to his fellow dominie, said: Just the very thing I wanted; there's gold out there, Tom let's jo! Both offered their services there and then to t lie Cape Government, and were accepted, throw- ing up billets worth between three and four thou- sand pounds per annum. The one named Tom perished in the attack on Secukuni's stronghold. and his friend I afterwards met some years later in Lucknow-a regimental troop-sergeant-major in a famous Hussar regiment. Both men enlisted in the hope of discovering gold. Rhodesia in those days— it was not called by that name thert-ivas reputed to be full of gold, and both the ex-sehoolmaaters thought they were going to sojourn in a golden Eldorado-an expectation never realised. A cousin of the writer, now a well-to-do theatrical proprietor in a mining town in the North of England. in the seventies" threw up a lucrative ap- pointment as mining engineer to go out to the West Coast of Africa. He had read of the gold deposits in some of the rivers which drain into the Gulf of Guinea. He realised his effects, and with £ 1000 in his pockets set sail for the Gambia River. For 18 months ill-luck pursued him, until one day he found himself with only F-50. This money he spent in making his way to the Transvaal. When he landed in Johannesburg, he had a couple of sovereigns left, but he struck oil" within a week of landing, and within two years he left South Africa, having transferred to England in that time no less than £ 25,000. It would scarcely be credited that in the Yukon district there are, at the present time, scores of young Englishwomen, of good birth, stricken with the craze for gold. In July last. no fewer than five young, ladies left B-- station, a well-known town on the Midland system, bound for the Yukon. Every effort was made to dissuade them from their rash enterprise. Climatic conditions were vividly pointed out to them, but the gold craze—perhaps mingled with a love of adventure had seized .them. So they went. Whether they will return is another matter. The lust after gold is a strange inexplicable craving which seizes some people, and which quiet, plodding, stay- at-home people cannot comprehend.—Casse/l's Satur- day Journal. A TRADE WITH MANY Tj!mrTATIOns.-Sti rely there are few trades or callings in the many occupations of civilisation that offer to a first-class workman such dangerous and haunting temptations as engraving (writes a follower of the craft). A few years ago a young Scotsman, a fellow-apprentica of mine, left the provinces and started in business on his own the provinces and started in business on his own account in London. When he was just beginning to get on, a gentleman of prepossessing appearance called at his office, asking to see some specimens of work. The stranger warmly eulogisfed what was shown, and himself produced air intpres-1 sion of an exceedingly fine piece of wrna* >' mental engraving, of which he required an exact reproduction on steel. Price was no object. The young artist jumped at the offer. The work was done and paid for, and for some months he heard nothing further from his customer. Then one evening he was arrested on a charge of being an accomplice of a gang of forgers, who had flooded Germany with forged lottery tickets. On seeing one of the coupons he instantly recognised the ornamental engraving as his own, and was stunned with shame and terror. By employing clever counsel he escaped imprisonment; .but the affair cost his friends a considerable sum. Another acquaintance gave up a situation in England in 1892 to accept an offer of a six months' engagement in Paris, the sum offered for his services being £ 200. He was a clever workman, but a sorry spendthrift. I had noticed him much in the company of a foreign-looking. well- dressed little fellow a few months preceding his de- parture. He was very reserved in the matter, and I fancy regretted having told me so much even as is stated above. Certainly I never got anything further from him, except a promise to write at the end of his engagement. But the letter never came. Twelve months after came news of a large amount of counterfeit banknotes being in circulation in France, and I often think of the tongues that the dark waters of the Seine have silenced. The eccen- tricities of humanity often put money into the engraver's pockets, and tend to vary his mono- tonous routine. A well-to-do old gentleman once had a fad to have the book of Psalms engraved in minute writing characters on copper, paying £ 5 per psalm, taking them all through. When the tenth was finished he took the plates and proofs away, paid his bill, and I never afterwards heard of him. Again, a writer of music-hall songs had his favourite ditty engraved in beautiful Italian writing characters. When one impression had been pulled it was framed and the plate destroyed. Lest the reader should think that in regard to the Parisian incident I have somewhat strained my I imagination, it might be as well to mention an experience of my own. At one time I was infatuated with a pretty, and .accomplished girl who, with her father and brother, took up her abode in B the town in which I was then in business. Not to make I' a long story of it, when it. was thought that I was deeply ensnared in the meshes of love, a design began to unfold itself, and that design was—the reproduction on steel of a L5 Bank of England I note! Some, perhaps, may be able to imagine my position. I refused pointblank, but before I could nerve myself to inform the police, the trio had gone. Ere they left, however, they sent me a note consisting of a few significant words Hern ember! that silence is golden, that speech is steel I" It might have been an idle threat simply to silence me it might have been that they belonged to a gang powerful enough to average their betrayal—but I never tested Saturday Journal. THE BEST SERMON.—An English clergyman of emi- nence was asked by a group of London friends whose was the best sermon he had ever heard. If you mean," he answered, the sermon which has influ- enced me most directly and n;ver been forgotten, I can tell you at once. It was preached in the streets [ of Boston many years ago by a blind man." He had been preaching, he said, in Phillips Brooks's church, and had started to walk back to the house where he was staying. ing a stranger to Boston, lie became confused, and turning to a man who was behind him, asked to be directed to the house. ",Why-. it is the preacher!" exclaimed his companion. II I know you by your voice, for I was in the church and heard you preach. I am blind, blt I can show you the way. I can take you to the door." The clergyritan protested that he could not think of troubling the blind man. and that he could find his way by himself. Surely," said his new acquaintance, "you will not refuse me the pleasure of conducting you. I am not a beggar. Every one is so kind to me, and it is seldom indeed that, I can render any one a service. So the I two men went on arm in arm, and in ten minutes they were at the right door and had parted. During that short walk the best sermon which the clergyman had ever heard was preached. It was simply," he said to his English friends, the.story "Of a man blind from his birth, whose face, was shinihE 'vyit.h contentment and peace, Ilnd wlTose heart was thrilled with a sense of his mercies and blessinga. "Hit parents had sent him to a school for the blind where he had been taught to read by raised letters, and they had lefthilll a small income whic.1! sufficed for his I wants. He lived alone, but could go about the streets without a guide. H.- told ine that he considered that j he ought to be thankful for being borii because he had so much leisure for quiet thought. There would be time enough in another world for him to see everything. I have never forgotten that sermon." added tfie clergyman. His example of contentment and serenity of mind has never ceased to be helpful to me. I have told the story often to my English congregations, and it has always deeply affected them." So true is it that iiioi-af influence is neyef wasted.
TOMMY: A lighthouse is a sign of rocks, isn't it, paw?" Mr. Figg It depends on whether you are referring to I he seashore or the drama." "No, T ri.'ve.' take the lionit, I've a family of grown-up daughters you know." Papers too full of crime, eh?" "Xo, ton full of bargain sales."
rJIQ, GREAT AMERICAN PRESCRIPTION T WEN T Y YEA R S' RES E A It l' f has broug-ht to light a gnaranteed Remedy foi NElv VOLS p&BILI the .vi-ors of Youth, Lost Maiinood, Spermatorrhoea. • varicocele, weakness. Dimness of Si ht, Bladder, Gravel, Kidney, Liver Complaints, Wid all diseases of the Urinary Organs. !is Prescription is in the hands of a Minister! rho will befriend anyone suffering from i enervating dise.a.e.s. It has CURED THOUSANDS. —• Merely end self-addressed stamped to the Rev. I)A%rlf) JONk.S.t Kav ViTia, Lewes, England, when th.. rresermtion will ot FKRK OP PH -\RGK. "WIP this Paper. SELF CuRr. One who has himself suffered will send to any SUFFERER a FREE PRESCRIPTION, on receipt of a stamped addressed envelope. This Prescription has restored many hundreds nrATnnrn persons suffering from Nervons Debility, Exhausted Vitality, KrA I |8Kl" II Errors of Youth, Lost Manhood, Spermatorrhoea, Varicocele, • ■■■V I VIllaiM Premature Decay, Brain Fag, Dimness of Sight, Despondency, Loss of Energy, Loss of Memory, Blotches on the Skin, Noises in the Ears, Melancholy, Kidney and Liver Com- pla.ints, an all Diseases plaints, and all Diseases TO HEALTH AND STRENGTH of the Unnary Organs to health and strength, and is an unfailing remedy for these distressing diseases. -Ad(Irem: W. H. BROWN, Esq., 14 Chesham Road, Brighton, Snssex, England. Name this paper.
GREATER BRITAIN. To some extent the collection of pictures and <!r:iw- ings by Australian artists which is now to be seen ;11 the Grafton Gallery in London is disappointing, It is less distinctive and unusual than might, have !wen expected, and, as a whole, less interesting than ill lovers of new departures in art hoped that it would be. At first, sight the aspect of the show is one of curious uniformity, and the suggestion of indepen- dent effort 011 the part of the many artists repre- sented is hardly felt. But a detailed examination of the exhibition reveals an unexpected amount of variety, and proves that within what would seem to be at present the definite limits of Australian ni t, there is room for a great deal of assertion of per- sonal conviction. Such pictures as those of Air. Arthur Stretton show that local influences are y no means. universally powerful to restrain a per- sonality which is keenly receptive and sensitive to characteristic impressions. His landscapes reflect, quite as much his own idea of what is artistically; appropriate as the general belief of the school 10 which he belongs. Mr. Tom Roberts, too, though iiit-i-e limited in his range and more obviously dominated by the accident of locality, has a capacity for vivid statement which sets him apart from his fellows and Mr. E. PhillipsiFox has a sense of technical re- source which is in no way depending for its effective- ness upon regard for the Tstlietic traditions of the Australian art community. It is in the productions of the weaker men that the peculiarities of the native school are most clearly to be traced: the same colour instinct, the same preference for gentle gradations Of tone, and the same habit of avoiding anything Approaching violence of dramatic expression are tOilllJlon to them all; and the resulting atmosphere is one of reserve, and perhaps of timidity. The pur- pose of the present exhibition is, however, well served by the display of the work of the few notable men. who have acquired their technical knowledge .1_I.1:- -J L_l..L u_l- l III Australia, untl UJ me inclusion oi canvases ny Inch artists as Mr. Longstaffe and Mr. Hopwood u ho lave by European study acquired graces of style that ar* as yet unknown to the workers who have re- clamed at home. The show, at all events on so large a scjiie,( is certainly premature, and is-disap- pointing .because the sum total of actual achieve- ment is not convincingly large but there is a very real promise in it of future development. Pos«i!«ly more good^would have been donetoAustralian art it t lie artists themselves had been sent first to study Wlllt is being done in this country, and their pictures re- served for revision ontheir return. ACCORPIKQ to a report of the Glacial Research Committee of Australia, glaciated pebbles, polished rocks, and other signs of ice-action have been observed in Australia. The pebbles occur WOOft. above the sea at the Alice Springs telegraph station. Yellow Cliff, Central Australia, which is the nearest point to.the tropics where such proofs of glaciation have been obtained. MR. A. W. HOWITT, an Australian anthropologist, is of opinion that the Tasmanian and Australian aborigines came to the country by an ancient bridge of land connecting it with the Ifido-Asiatic continent, oC"by shallow channels separating Australia from the lands to the north-west. PROFESSOR IfuTToN, F.R.S.. read a paper at the recent meeting of the Australian Association for the Advancement of Science, on "Early Life OIl the Earth in which he spoke of life having originated in the ocean, the first organisms floating on the surface of a warm sea, as their descendants after millions of years still do. Some of them would find their way to the bottom, and ultimately reach the dry land. THERE are some curious things in Central Aus- tralia. According to Professor Baldwin Spencer, Lake Aniadeus in the dry season is merely a sheet of salt. Ayers Rock. about the miles round, rises abruptly from the desert. Formerly vast rivers flowed here, and the diprotodoton, a wombat-like creature, worthy of its name, and four times as large as a kangaroo, flourished on the plains. Now there are hardly any animals to be seen. The fish liye: in water-holes of the hills until the floods wash them down to the valleys. At the end of the wet season, the water frogs fill themselves with water, roll themselves in the mud, and lie low till the next rains, which may not come for two years. Meanwhile, the provident frog, like the "mousie" of Robert Burns, may have the misfor- tune to furnish a drink to a thirsty black. The natives also get water from the roots of trees. They are in the totem stage, and revere certain plants or animals which protect them. Men of one group can only marry women from another single group. A FLOURISHING trade in poultry is springing up between New South Wales and South Africa, Live birds are sent to the stores, where they are killed, plucked, dressed, and frozen. Some 3000 to 40nO L fowls, ducks, geese, and turkeys are sent by each steamer calling at the Cape. THE New South Wales Government has just made a successful experiment in deep sea trawl fishing. The Government steamer Thetis was fitted with trawl- ing nets and sent out on a fishing cruise for three days. The result was very satisfactory, excellent hauls of fish being made at between 20 and 30 fathoms depth. THE committee appointed by the Commandant of New South Wales to inquire into the subject of rifle shooting has just published its report, which is of a drastic character. It lays the greatest possible emphasis oh the necessity for modern fire discipline or training to prevent uncontrolled, independent, or individual firing, and condemns the present rifle meetings on the two main grounds of slow aiming and artificial aids. The committee is very sarcastic in referring to the artificial aids used by the "ubi- biquitous and professional pot-hunter." Tiiic Queen's Prize at the Victorian Rifle Associa- tion Meeting was won by Mr. E. Saker, who was suc- cessful in the same competition six years ago. The conditions are the same as those which regulate the Queen's Prize at Bisley, and Mr. Saker's score was 268 points. Mr. Fargher, one of the Victorian team who competed at Bisley last summer, took second place with a score of 261 points. ACCOIUI'ISG to Mr. Duffy, the Victorian Post- master-General, the cloud which has hung over the coloriieg for so long is beginning to show its silver lining. Addressing a meeting of Post Office employes, Mr. Duffy recently said that tor three years he had had to carry out excessive retrenchment. All the higher grade officers had ceased to get'the promotion they might. have reason- ably expected, and the lower grade officers had re- ceived no increase in pay. Past mismanagement and a time of great depression had forced the hand of the Ministry, and, much against their inclination, the pruning knife of retrenchment, had had to be con- stantly used. The worst of the bad time Was now over, and there was a bright day coming for public servants—a day when they would receive a fair day's wage for a fair day's work. THE Act which gives shopmen a weekly half holiday is beinir stri(-IIN- enforced in Melbourne. A large firm of drapers-has just been Tfined heavily for neg- lecting.to give 416 of its employes a half holiday in the third week in January as required by the Act. A SHILLING FUND has been started in Adelaide with the object of giving Clem Hill a present on his 21 st birthday. By making 170 in the Intercolonial Match against New South Wales Hill brought his aggregate; of runs for the season up to 1054, thus achieving the distinction of being the first cricketer to make 1000 runs in first-class matches during one Australian season. THE est imate of the wheat yield of South Australia for 1897-98 gives 988,250 acres reaped, producing 3,705,H37 bushels, or an average per acre of three bushels and 451b. Deducting food and seed require- ments. an apparent surplus of 19,000 tons is left.
FUN AND FANCY. A risrroR: "And who are you, my little man?* Cuthbert (with conscious pride): I'm the baby# brother." FAX: The diamond is the hardest known oul)- stance." De Witte "Yes-toget." WE can dispense without you." The sentence is not so ungrammatical as it sounds. It was spoken by a chemist to an assistant whom he had just dis- charged. BIGGS I wonder if Diggs has much money behind him ?". Higgs He had the other day when I saw him; he w&s leaning against the Bank of Eng- land." MISTRESS: "Why is your lover so quiet when be calls on you?" Maid: "Oh, madam, the poor fellow is so bashful when here. He does nothing but eat. ROBALIH: "What makes you think he is in love with you ?" Violet: The first time lie called he left his gloves, and the second time hi", cane, and last night he forgot his hat." AUNT GERTRUDE: "And what will you do when you are a man, Tommy ?" Tommy: I'm going to grow a beard." Aunt Gertrude: Why ?" Tommyc Because then I won't have nearly so much face to wash." THE letter left by the postman was thinner than the bulky ones he usually brought, and the struggling Jroung author tore it open eagerly. Your recerit etter "■—thus ran the editor's letter—" stating that you inclose-manuscript story, with stamps for return if not acceptable, has been received. Your contribu- tion is accepted." At last!" exclaimed the young author, joyfully but his heart sank as he caught the following: P.S.-You neglected to inclose the manuscript." "OLD Grabber ought to be satisfied with the money he hat." He is satisfied-so much so, that he wants a Jot more of exactly the same kind." "THAT luminous paint is a splendid invention I W hat do you use it for ?" We paint the baby, so we can give him a drink in the night without lighting the gas." I AM very sorry, Captain Gibbs, but circumstances over which I have no control compel me to say no." May I ask what the circumstances are ?" Yours." BEGGAR: Please, sir, will you lend me a penny tec get something to eat?" Gentleman: "You've got sixpence in your hand now. What's that for r Beggar: That's to tip the waiter." THE two archaeologists gazed at a heap of bones which they had exhumed. This must have been an ancient burying-ground," said one. "More like a bicycle riding ncademy,"replied the other. WOULD-BE PURCHASER These cigars are smaller than usual." Tobacconist: Yes you see, the cigar manufacturer noticed that the last inch of the cigars is always thrown away, so he makes them that much shorter." A FARMER had an old horse that he wanted to seH eo having doctored it up to make it appear as young as possible, he soon found a purchaser. The latter, before taking away the horse, told the farmer that he should like to ask the carter a question or two. Imagine the surprise of both buyer and seller when that worthy, in reply to a question as to the qualities of the horse, blurted out, Why, uiaister, I've knowed! this hoss for twenty years, and I've never knowed un kick or bite." WHEN two brothers marry girls in the same family it is a sign that if there are many more girls in the family, they are worth going after. LADY What is this buglor doing here?" Ser- vant: Qh, please let him remain, ma'am, as I only got him to come because he blows up the fire so nicely." CUWOT How much does your bicycle weigh -r Cholly: Fifteen pounds, the agent said but so long as the last instalment isn't paid, it weighs about two tons on my mind." VEnY man is fond of striking the nail on the head, but when it happens to be his flger-nail, his enthu- siasm becomes wild and incoherent. NOVICE Does learning the bicycle require any particular application ?" Old Hand: No; not that. I know of. Arnica is about as good as anything." OLD GOIJER How many holes have you played ?" New Golfer: Not more than four or five. It has taken me all the time to put the turf baqk." JINKS I can't understand how shipwrocke& sailors ever starve to death." Filkins: Why not. Jinks: "Because I've just come over from Calais to Dover, and I never once-felt the least desire to eat." .4 FLY had fallen into the ink-well of a certain author, who writes a very bad and very inky hand. The writer's little boy rescued the unhappy in and dropped him on a piece of paper. After watching him intently for a while he called to his mother: Here's a fly, mamma, that writes just like papa." "THKY'VB raked in a pretty tough-looking lot this morning, haven't they ?" said the stranger to the re- porter in a police-court. You're looking at tha wrong lot," answered the reporter. Those are not the prisoners those are the lawyers." HOJACK Callowhill is always trying to borrow money from me. I wish I knew how to get rid of him." Tomdik Lend him some." qOOD FRIKND I have reason to suspect that your husband is flirting with other women. You ought to fellow him wherever he goes." "Great heavens. My husband is a postman." SIMKINS: I thought you said Breezy was wedded to the trnth?" Timkins: "So I always thought.- Sim'kins: "Well, if he ever was, he's a widower now." RECRUITING OFPICBR: "I'm afraid you are not heavy enough for a cavalryman. We want men who can ride right over everything, if necessary." Appli- cant That's all right, sir. I've been a London cab- driver for seven years!" SHE:" I heard about the elopement. Has her mother forgiven them ?" He: I think not. I understand she has gone to live with them." MISTRESS: "Why, Mary, you have dated your letter a week ahead. Maid: Yis'm it will take over a week for it to get to me mother, aad she wouldn't care to be reading old news even from me." TEACHER: "How many bones are there in the human body Y' Pupil: I don't know. I've only just joined a football club." BEGORRA," said O'Flaherty, when he heard the sentence-forty shillings or seven days—"your Honour flatthers me. Oi never knew me toime waa worth so much befower." THE perfect man," said the brown-eyed girl, who was reading a, newspaper, "should be six feet two and a half inches in height." What nonsense!" said Mrs. Newbiyde. Edgar is only five feet 11 ne." ALICE Well, Maud, I hear you are engaged to Jack ?" Maud: "Yes." Alioe: "Well, I con-ratu- late you. He was about the nicest fua.net I ever it id." JUST think, somebody broke into my stud io !.ast night. Unfortunately, I had just begun a study in still life. "Was it stolen?" No, but the models were—a ham and some sausages." GRACE (to her bosom friend, who is caressing a, blear-eyed poodle}: "I hear your engagement with Mr. Stebbins has been broken off." Bertha (with a sigh): Yes, I found that his love for me was not the deep, true love which nothing on earth can change, so I was compelled to let him go," Grace t. Why, how did you find it out?" Bertha: "Easily enough. He got so angry every timo poor Flossie bit him." S ii c "Dear me, Walter, these are terrible things you tell me about Arthur. How do you happen to know so much about him ?" He (a rival of Ar;hur's for her hand): Why, Daisy, I'm his best friend." ETHEL I suppose I shall have to wear th:s vi.il; it's the only one I nave. It's so thick, one can L:jrdly.- see my face through it." Edith:" Ob, wear 1' by all means. Everybody says you never had an: hing on half so becoming."