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y I".. CUKKENT SPOUT.
y CUKKENT SPOUT. The Blackheath and Richmond football fixtures Under Rugby rules, long ago established themselves as the chief events in club football of the London reason. The play has been invariably good at some point or another, and it is not too much to say that the teams of lesser strength take their tenets-from the men who have made their mark in football, and who generally are to be found in these games. And in Saturday's match. at which there were 5000 or BOO, spectators on the Athletic Ground, Richmond the football possessed several remarkably strong features. Foremost were the scrummaging, which in itself was worthy of victory. 0: the Richmond forwards, and the defence ot' Blackheath. The latter was made the more cre- ditable because of the handicap under which Black- heath laboured by reason of an injury to one of their half-backs quite early in the game. The result of this hard match was a tie with a goal to each side but had the Richmond three-quarters played as well as the rest of the team there must unquestionably have been a win for Richmond. W. L. Bunting, the international, was not quite himself, but no doubt his game was affected by the uncertainty of his colleagues in his line. Playing behind a strongly winning scrummage, Rotherham and L. M. Crump were con- tinually opening the play for their three-quarters, but the blunders in passing were wholesale, and the good of 10 minutes' hard scrummaging was often undone in a moment by a bad pass which was intercepted by an opponent. The Blackheath three- quarters played too far up. and, if they smashed up the Richmond attack by so doing, they often spoilt their own game. If beaten in actual shoving, the Blackheath forwards kept fairly well together, al- though after half-time it became a matter of scrum- maging with seven men against eight; and there were one or two who particularly distinguished themselves by pace and foot work. These were the two Oxford Blues—W. J. and G. M. Carey—and C. E. Wilson. But what really saved Blackheath was the tackling of their backs. P. Royds was very strong, while the defence of Jacob and Unwin at half in the second period was quite a feature of the play, for it was no ordinary footballer who could have excelled when his forwards were giving way and the dashing Rich- mond pack was coming round on him. It was bad luck, although the fortune of war, that Blackheath should have lost their good half-back, R. O'H. Live- say, to all intents and purposes when the game was only 10 minutes old but they were subsequently not very happy in the rearrangement of their backs. To take their best forward, C. E. Wilson, out of the scrummage to go three-quarter was a bad error to begin with, and to move Hicks-a young member of the second team—from the position of three- quarter, where he had been distinguishing himself, to full back proved a worse. Frank Mitchell, with all his judgment and his capacity for kicking, ought to have gone back at once instead of delaying to do so until the blunders by Hicks had neariy cost his side the game. However, it was a splendid match to follow. The try by Pilkington was a fine piece of football that enabled Blackheath to hold a lead of a goal for nearly half an hour. Then in the second period Crump got through for Richmond, and Rotherham placed a goal, and so the scores were even. Near the finish Palmer, after crossing the Blackheat" line, was forced into touch in gaol The v 1 drawn with a goal to each side. R. O'H. iv ceo 3 found at half-time, when he retired, to ;t:">I' from concussion of the brain. Of o-, Rugby football club games in London, i te tno-i, i iteresting were Old Merchant Taylors v. Karieqr; and Croydon v. St. Thomas's, both of •vhicl. JIT uced good contests. C. M. Wells turned on1 at htili-;oack for the Harlequins, and his fine con- t try turned the balance in their favour. Croydf»a fr, ind the medicos somewhat weak, but the <Tdirr. • ardly fought, and Croydon did all their v jriag e first half. York." 'met Cheshire in the Northern Division ct-h- H' "y County Championship, and went in g,i{)(f ho;,f >f two points; but so keenly did the t ri-rp jf. p, ly that though they were a goal behind ft. they equalised in the second half, and I --id th>: ir a till the finish. In the Northern Rugby I "top es were won by Wakefield, Halifax, I --Lii, VV.i--ington, Batley, Oldham, Swinton. I mningham, Lancaster, Widnes, and 1 rectuv-be The c'r the First Division of the Association Lejvue has undergone considerable altera- tit istmas. Sheffield United now lead by no .• J- than five points, their Tieore«t rival being Sunderland, who have been showing wonderfully improved form of late. The Albion are third, and Aston Villa, by their defeat at Derby on Saturday, drop down to fifth place, a position they only hold on sufferance, for Notts Forest, who are in rare fettle just, now, and easily beat Sheffield Wednesday on Saturday, are only a couple of points behind with two games in hand. The second round of the Lancashire Cup was some- what sensational, for the visiting teams won three games out of four. Everton, who seems to have gone altogether to pieces, had to succumb to Bolton Wan- derers at Goodison-park. and Preston North End. though having the best of the game with Blackburn Rovers, lost it by feeble shooting. Bury had little trouble at Blackpool, and Newton Heath managed to get the better of their keen local rivals, the City, by an odd point. The games in the first round for the London Senior Cup were mostly of a runaway description, the smallest difference being the three to one victory of Crouch End Vampires at Ealing. Clapton and the Casuals found the Old Etonians and the Old Foresters quite negligible quantities, but the other Old Boys' team, that of Westminster, go into the next round at the expense of the 3rd Grenadiers. The feature of the second round of the Scottish Cup was the dismissal of Celtic at the hands of 3rd Lanark. At half-time the score was even, but after a splendid struggle, the interest of which was main- tained to the call of time, 3rd Lanark carried off the victory by an odd goal. The Glasgow Rangers, who had only Cartvale to oppose, have the distinc- tion of the most overwhelming victory of the day-12 goals to none. The games in the Southern League were of a one- sided character. Wolverton cut a sorry figure at Tottenham, the Hotspurs winning by the comfortable margin of seven to one, while Bristol City were almost as much ahead of Chatham. Bristol City still head the list, but Southampton, with two games in hand, are only one point behind. Mr. Stoddart's English cricket team played a match against odds on Friday and Saturday of last week, their opponents being a Twenty-two of Western Vic- toria. The game, in which Ranjitsinjhi, Hirst, and Richardson took no part. does not seem to have been very interesting, and being confined to two days, ended, almost inevitably, in a draw, of which the Englishmen, who treated the matter lightly, had none of the best I Anglers betray such touching faith in their own stories that ignorant laymen have long since I ceased troubling to put a strain on ordinary powers of belief. But there are occasionally 1 authenticated incidents, with no relation to the fabulous size of individual fish, which are worth recording. Pike-fishing in the Thames has re- cently been attended by a remarkable occurrence. One of a brace taken at Pangbourne broke the line and escaped with the float and tackle. With- out travelling far, however, he must have stopped to reflect on the nature of the unaccustomed appendage with which he found himself equipped. The effcct of his ruminations was disastrous, for tlie appendage with which he found himself equipped. The effect of his ruminations was disastrous, for the float rested on the surface and was quickly perceived by the keen eye of the disappointed angler. Punting carefully to the spot he succeeded in seizing the broken line and attaching it to his rod, and in a few moments he was playing that pike with desperate energy, aud landed him. The fish—-and this fact is also authenticated—was found to weigh 121b. A considerable gathering of the followers .of the Cottesmore Hunt met at Ridlington on Saturdav. Hounds did little with their firfõt fox. but found again J at Warlley-wood, and after a short ring killed just outside the covert. Twice more did Sir Arthur Fludv. r's woodland respond to the call upon it. The first hunt terminated near Uppingham and the second in the vicinity of Leigh Lodge. As generally expected, Kilpatrick, the American champ'on, defeated Tinder in their half-mile match at Ro-'T.dale on Saturday. Running at his best dis- tance ind with the advantage of a pace-maker, Tincler whose only chance of winning was to force the running, the odds were all in favour of the world's balf-n ile record holder. A. A. Chase, the professional cyclist, arrived at Quet town, on Friday of last week, from the Un' States, where it may be remembered he was uns ssful in a match against the Welsh rider, J. Mic;. 1. Chase, who travelled on the Cunard liner XJin i„ was accompanied by his brother, F1.1 "Wif Chase ind manager, J. Walton. q f » ft1 Dudley Ward lias been re-elected president, and "f r. Hawkins, secretary, of the Cambridge Pni ity Boat Club. The Lent, races begin on J Fffl ry 16, and the Clinker Fours on March 9. Several events of more than ordinary important tfere decided in the papercbasing wcrld cn Saturday. C. S. Luck's second consecutive victory in the South London Harriers' "Thornton "cup race brings to mind his fine form in the Southern championship of two years ago. Though running well the Southern Counties champion, George Martin, could not finish nearer than fifth in the Essex Beagles' Five Miles Handicap at Forest-gate. The Blackheath Harriers held a Married v. Single, in which the bachelors proved successful. Many junior clubs, including the Tee-to- Tum Athletic Club, the South Essex Athletic Club, the Queen's-park Harriers, the Lewisham Hare and Hounds, and the Unity Athletic Club decided their cross-country championships.
COMING PARIS EXHIBITION.
COMING PARIS EXHIBITION. THE PART BRITAIN WILL PLAY. After considerable delay, and a vast amount of negotiation between the British Foreign Office and the French authorities. Lord Salisbury has decided (says the Dairy Chronicle) that the United Kingdom shall take part in the exhibition with which the next century will be inaugurated at Paris, and a Royal Commission, consisting of more than 100 noblemen and gentlemen, with the Prince of Wales at their head, will be gazetted in the course of a few days. This will be the first large Royal Commission ap- pointed for any exhibition since that for Paris in 1878, upon which occasion the Prince of Wales was executive president, and the late Sir Philip Cunlin- Owen the secretary. The re- presentation of this country at the Paris Exhibition of 1889, and at Chicago more recently, was placed in the hands of the Society of Arts. But it is felt that for many reasons a Royal Commission, upon which all the great interests of the Empire can be repre- sented, is preferable to a society which, however able and energetic, has no organisation suitable for the diplomatic and administrative work of a great exhi- bition. Parliament will be asked to vote for the re- presentation of the United Kingdom a sum of £ 75,000, which is very much less than has been set apart for a similar purpose by Germany, Russia, or the United States, and is scarcely adequate under the new system which has been decided upon by the French autho- rities for the management of the forthcoming exhi- bition. [ At all previous international exhibitions a certain quantity of space was apportioned to each country participating, and the distribution of that space was, so long as certain general rules were observed, left in the hands of the representatives of the exhibiting country. There was a court for Great Britain, a court for Italy, a court for Austria, and at each of them the commissioners of that particular country were supreme. They adopted their own scheme of decoration, made theirsection itiattractive astheirtaste I and the money at their disposal would allow, and did their utmost to infuse as much individuality as possible into the area placed at their disposal. But all these methods are to be changed. The distribution of ex- "e hibits at the Paris Exhibition will be by objects, and not by nationalities. Instead of British manu- facturers and products being grouped together, they will be scattered over the buildings, machinery with the machinery of other nations, cottons with other cottons, woollens with other woollens, electro-plate with other electro-plate. Instead of the diversity which has been a marked feature at previous exhibi- tions, there is to be perfect uniformity, which is to be ensured by all the arrangements for the display of exhibits being placed in the hands of the French authorities. The new method will, no doubt, have certain advan- tages. It will very much simplify the work of the jurors, and will enable any visitor to make a rapid and accurate comparison between the manufactures of one country and those of another. But it will de- tract considerably from the effect formerly produced by samples of all the varied products of a nation being brought together and displayed within the space of a few hundred square yards. And the new plan has been fatal to a proposal made more than 12 months ago by Mr. Chamberlain to the Colonial Govern- ments. In a circular dispatch forwarded by him at the end of 1896 to the officers administering the government of the various constitutional colonies, it was suggested that instead of Australasia, Canada, and South Africa exhibiting separately, they should be blended with the rest of the Empire in one harmonious whole, and that instead of each colony appointing its own commissioners, each should be represented on the Royal Commission. The proposition met with a certain amount of support from the colonies con- sulted, but when the Premiers met in London during the Jubilee they discovered that there was no possi- bility for the whole Empire exhibiting collectively. owing to the new regulations. The proposal, there- fore, fell through, and each colony reserved to itself prefect freedom of fiction. The French authorities have, however, made one important concession they have set aside a plot of ground in the gardens of the Trocadero, containing about 60.000 square feet, and upon this site any colonial Government which chooses can erect its own building, at its own expense, provided that the struc- ture be of a character by its architecture and decora- tions to do credit to its environment. On the other hand, a colony can, if it chooses, exhibit its products with those of a similar description contributed by the United Kingdom. As the colonies will no doubt make a great point of their refrigerated produce, meat. butter, &c., which will require cold storage, it may be expected that notwithstanding the greater cost, they will prefer to erect buildings for them- selves. The Indian Government has up to the pre- sent come to no decision as to whether it will be officially represented at Paris, but even if it should decline, the necessary expenditure will, in all proba- bility, be defrayed by private enterprise. The colonies which so far have announced their inten- tion of being represented at Paris are Canada. Cape Colony, New South Wales, and Queensland but it is probable that so soon as the Royal Commission commence their labours there will be several addi- tions to the list. The principal British executive officer will be Colonel Jekyll, C.M.G.. who was secretary to the British Royal Commission for the Melbourne Exhi- bition of 1888, and had previously held the office of private secretary to Lord Carnarvon, when he was Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland.
BLACKBEETLES BY POST.
BLACKBEETLES BY POST. EXTRAORDINARY PERSECUTION OF A WIDOW. Josephine Chilcott, of Edith-villas, West Kensing- ton, was on a warrant charged at West London Police-court, on Saturday, with sending a postal packet containing blackbeetles. She was also charged with publishing a libel concerning Mrs. Sands, of Anson-road, Cricklewood. Mr. Osborn, who prosecuted on behalf of the Post- office, said that for two or three years annoying and offensive communications had been transmitted through the post, the object being to defame the cha- racter of a lady with whom accused had been on terms of close intimacy. Mrs. Sands, a widow, formerly lived in Perham-road, West Kensington, and it was during her residence there that the two became acquainted. Mrs. Sands left Kensington to reside at Cricklewood, and the intimacy was renewed. The whole of this time Mrs. Sands was receiving post- cards of a disgusting character, all written in a dis- guised hand. A complaint was made to the authori- ties, and the circulation of the cards was stopped, The communications then took another form they were enclosed in court envelopes, and so escaped the observation of the authorities. They were sent over Kensington and Cricklewood in hundreds, with a view of taking away Mrs. Sands' character. Her life had become absolute misery. She had also been to great expense in engaging private detectives in the endeavour to ascertain the guilty party. Her name was supplied to the police as having been a party to the murdering of children, and she received communications from detectives. Again, an advertisement was inserted in her name, applying for a lunatic attendant, and she was worried by applicants. On December 9 an advertisement appeared in a daily paper announcing her marriage. An announcement also appeared on January 10, to the effect that the body of a child, on which were several incised wounds, was found wrapped in a paper within the railings of Maryle- bone Workhouse, and on the day following prisoner, who had been kept under observation, was seen to post a letter addressed to the. master of the workhouse. The letter was taken possession of, and found to be written in an illiterate istyle. It was to the effect that the child belonged to ;Mrs. Sands, but, as she had failed to keep up her payments of 10s. weekly, my husband left it where it was found. This was the kind of persecution Mrs.. .Sands had been subjected to. On January 12 accused was seen to leave her home and deposit a small parcel in the North End-road Post-office. This was also taken possession of and examined. The parcel was addressed to Mrs. Brown, a lady who resided next door to Mrs. Sands, but it contained an inner parcel addressed to the latter, which con- sisted of a card-board box which contained a number of live blackbeetles. Attached to the inner parcel was a note containing gross insinuations. She might not be alone, Mr. Osborn added, in the general scheme to ruin the woman, but she was no doubt the prin- cipal party. She was arrested on the previous dav while in the act of posting two other letters. Evi- dence was given in support of counsel's statement, and the prisoner was remanded.
[No title]
HR. told.;nb to.g$t off the earth. Whnt-do yon suppose he meant?" "He seemed to think that you needed a bath, evidently." You may fetter my body," he shouted, but my mind will wear no chain!" Iu other words, the wheel in his head was of the '98 pattern.
IITHE FAR EAST.
THE FAR EAST. BRITISH WARSHIPS AT PORT ARTITUR. FLAGSHIP LEAVES NAGASAKI. The Cronstadt journal Kotlin reports the following distribution and movements of Russian war vessels in thr, Far East: The Rurik. Pamiat, Azova, Ivreisser and Zabijaka are at Nagasaki, and tha ,,a Ssivutch is about to proceed to that port from Shanghai. The Admiral Nachimoff, Korejetz, Otvajny and Gremiastchy are at Port Arthur, and the Admiral Korniloff. and the Dimitri Donskoi at Talienwan. The Mandshur is at Chemulpo. Of tha vessels bound for the Pacific, the Rossija is now at Suez, and the Vladimir Monomach at Algiers. H.M.S. Centurion, flagship of the China Squadron, which arrived at Nagasaki on Wednesday of last week. has left that port. Her destination is unknown. A semi-official communication, purporting to come from London, was published at St. Petersburg on Saturday stating that the British war vessels which were at Porth Arthur received orders to leave that place without delay. It has-been officially announced at Victoria. British Columbia, that no British warships from that station have been ordered to proceed to China. The fleet has been preparing for a cruise to South America, but this order has been countermanded, and the ships will remain at their present station. The French battleship Vauban, now at Toulon, and the armoured cruiser Bruix, at Cherbourg, are to be ready to leave for China on February 15. This will bring the number of French ships in the Far East up to 11, the majority of which are old and out of date. Four of the cruisers, however, are fast n'lodern vessels. With regard to the semi-official announcement published in St. Petersburg, Reuter's Agency is in- formed that the British war vessels which have recently visited Port Arthur have merely touched at the port in the course of their ordinary cruises, and would naturally leave after a short stay. The ques- tion of their going there and of their departure is one for the discretion of the British Admiral on the station. CABINET COUNCIL. A Cabinet Council, one of the longest of recent years, was held at the Foreign Office on Saturday. Lord Cadogan was the only absentee. The Council assembled at half-past two, and did not conclude its sitting until a quarter to five o'clock. Although the primary business was to arrange the programme for the Parliamentary session, the matter which engaged the most attention was the Chinese question. A Hoi.1 agency says that the deliberations are understood to justify the statement that the attitude of her Majesty's Ministers continues firm, and that notwithstanding the line taken by Russian representatives at Pekin, there has been no change in the conditions of their proposed loan to China, or in the avowed objects of British policy with reference to the future of that Empire.
THE ENGINEERING TROUBLE.
THE ENGINEERING TROUBLE. MASTERS CONCILIATORY.—MEN GIVE WAY. The following circular was drawn up by the Allied Engineering Trades' delegates meeting at the head- quarters of the Amalgamated Society of Engineers in Stamford-street, London, and was in the hands of all branch secretaries on Monday. It will be seen that '\le men's officials urge the men to accept the present .,ittiation and to return to work. The circular, after pointing out that the employers had agreed to in- corporate certain notes into the terms as submitted some weeks ago, such notes and their accompanying clauses to be construed together, the circular goes on to say: We have therefore decided to recommend you to vote for the terms as now submitted as settling the present dispute. You will observe that each clause is now followed by a note to be construed as part of and to be equally binding with the clause itself. There is also a note handed to your delegates at the Hotel Metropole improving or making clear the posi- tion in regard to piecework, and the effect of these additions is to considerably modify the harshness of the terms as a whole. "The clauses are, in some respects, inconsistent with the notes, and the interuretation may cause some little confusion, but at all events we think they may be given a fair trial. The ill-effects which had been feared from No. 6 clause are largely neutralised by the note, which expressly disclaims on the part of ijie employers any in- tention on their part ( o create a new class of workmen. If this b6 carried out fairly the clause will not work out to your detriment as it might otherwise have done. especially in view of the agreement to read clauses and notes together. The method of collective arrangement of wages as provided for in No. 4 will also apply to clause No. 6. The note in regard to piecework payment is also im- portant as clearly recognising the principle of extra payment for extra effort, and so removing that ambiguity from the clause itself, which might have been read—and, in fact, had been read-to mean that a man should work piecework for day-work wages. We think, therefore, that, assuming a fair interpre- tation of the terms as now submitted, there is little now to fear, and we deem it wise to advise their acceptance. This is the more necessary as the dispute has now lasted 29 weeks, and its con- tinuance involves an increasing drain upon the Society's funds without much chance of betterment. We have had many good friends who have subscribed handsomely, but the income from outside is decreas- ing. and likely to further decrease, and therefore the struggle could only be carried on by the largely- increased contributions and probably reduced benefits. This. we feel, we are not justified in imposing upon you now in view of the improvements in the terms.- Yours sii cw 'lv. Matthew Arrandale, James Swift. Geo. N. I ain -s."
INDIA'S TROUBLES.
INDIA'S TROUBLES. DAROAI. A despatch by Sir W. Lockhart, written in December, has been published in Calcutta, in which he attributes the necessity of the second attack on the Dargai heights on October 20 to the failure of General Yeatman-Biggs to carry out certain orders he had previously given, and remarks that the attack itself was not carried out in the manner which lie had intended, and, as he thought, clearly indi- cated. THE AKA-KIIELS. General Kempster reports that the Aka-khels are raidingBritish territory. A telegram fromLandi Kotal states that the pickets there have been fired upon. The Shinwaris, it is added, are gradually returning the iron and timber which they looted frcm Landi Kotal. A despatch from Fort Jamrud reports that, owing to some unknown reason, the members of the Kuki-khel and Katnbar-khel jirgahs assemb^pd there suddenly took to flight. Their maliks spent the entire day to persuade them to return, and it is hoped that they will be successful. The disccussion of terms is vary protracted. Owing to the raids made by the Aka-khels, it has been decided that the following flying columns shall be despatched to punish the tribe A hundred men of the 2nd Punjab Regiment and 1.50 Border Police to proceed from Jalntalao to Zao. Four hundred Punjabis, with two guns, to start from Matamni." One squadron of cavalry and two battalions of infantry, with two guns, to go from Camp Bara along the hills to the south of the Bara River. One battalion of infantry, with two guns, to go from Mamani to Miri-khel, and another battalion of infantry, also with two guns, to go to Taodachia. General Sir A. P. Palmer will conduct the operations,
THE THRASHER DISASTER.
THE THRASHER DISASTER. STOKER LYNCH PRESENTED WITH THE ALBERT MEKAL At Deror.port on Saturday, Admiral the Hon. E. r, reiliailtle, Naval Commander-in-Chief, in the name of the Queen, publicly decorated stoker Lynch with the Albert Medal of the First Class for conspicuous bravery, displayed in rescuing a comrade on the occasion of the stranding of the Torpedo-boat destroyer Thrasher near Falmouth, in September last. In spite of the early hour fixed for the cere- money, in addition to six divisions of seamen and stokers, numbering 3000 men, a large number of civilian spectators assembled on the parade ground of the barracks at Keyham. At nine a.m. the Commander-in-Chief arrived on the ground, and was received with the usual honours by a strong detachment of marines. A large party of officers. attended in undress uniform. In opening. the,, proceedings. two letters were read by the Commander-in-Chief illustrating the jrallant conduct of Lynch-one from Commander Travers, of the Thrasher, recommending the reward, and the other from the surgeon agent, who, in the course of his remarks, described how Lynch plunged part of his body into what was practically a boiling cauldron, and afterwards displayed marvel- lous fortitude in repressing the agony he suffered in order that his comrade Paull might secure attention. Sir E. Fremantle, in a brief speech, warmly compJi- mented Lynch on his gallantry, and Lady Fremande affixed the decoration. Lynch, it is stated, will re- ceive petty officer's rating in the ordinary course.
[No title]
THE Russian Government has ordered that all sardine boxes be opened by the custom officers, bo.%use Nihilistic tracts were sent into the country packed in fish-tins. IT is reported from Paris that at Pensol, in the Department of Haut Vienne, a meteoric stcne was recently seen to fall and set fire to farm build- ings. "il,'
TWO IRISH ELECTIONS.
TWO IRISH ELECTIONS. ST. STEPHENS-GREEN POLL. Polling in the St. Stephen s-green Division of Dublin, to fill the vacancy caused by the appoint- ment of Mr. Kenny to a judgeship, took place on Friday of last week. The figures, which were not announced till earlv on Saturdav mornin<r.-were .¡ .¡ c." Mr. J. H. U. Campbell. Q.C. (C.) 3525 Count Plunkett (Nationalist) 3387 Majority 138 This result involves no change in the character of the representation. Hardly any side issues cropped up, the election being practically confined to the question of Home Rule. Mr. James Henry U. Campbell, Q.C.. of 30, Upper Pembroke-street, Dublin, who thus succeeds to the seat vacated by Mr. William Kenny's appoint- ment to the Irish Judicial Bench, is the third and youngest son of the late Mr. William U. Campbell, of Prospect House, Terenure, county Dublin, and was born on April 4, 1851. He was educated at the Rev. Dr. Stac- poole's Kingstown School, and at Trinity College, Dublin, of which foundation he is an ex- sizar and scholar and double gold medalist, and where lie carried off the Vice-Ghancellor's gold medal. He married Emily, the second daughter of the late Mr. John MacCullagh, a resident magistrate, of Newry, co Down. Mr. Campbell is the 41st new member returned to the House of Commons since the general election of 1895. MID-ARMAGII UNCONTESTED. Mr. Dunbar P. Barton, Conservative, was on Friday of last week returned unopposed, on his ap- ?ointment to the Solicitor-Generalship for Ireland, n thanking the electors for having returned him without opposition for the fourth time within a, period of six years, the lion, member said it must have rarely, if ever, happened that any consti- tuency had elected the same representative so often without opposition within such a period. The peopleof Ulster wereasdeterminedas ever to maintain the legislative union between Great Britain and Ire- land. Mr. Barton was first returned unopposed at a by-election in December, 1891, and at the general election of 1892, as also in 1895, his re-election was not challenged. At the elections of 1885 and 1886, when the seat was contested by other candidates, the majorities were 1511 and 1638.
PEOPLE'S PALACE FOR GLASGOW.
PEOPLE'S PALACE FOR GLASGOW. Lord Rosebery on Saturday afternoon opened a new People's Palace and Winter Garden which have been erectod on Glasgow-green by public subscription, to which the corporation have contributed. Lord Rosebery observed that such buildings as that were a sign of the duties and responsibilities of iiiiinici palities to all classes of the great communities over which they were privileged to rule—a sign full of hope and promise for the future. It was too true that in many populous districts the public-house was the only i place where the working man could enjoy a cheerful evening. He hoped that reproach was now less common amongst us. Perhaps the most signal example of a people's palace now existing was that founded in the East-end of London and to Sir Walter Besant must be ascribed the great honour of having suggested to the mind and conscience of the community that the East-end people should have their palaces as well as the West. The erection of such a building as that was specially important as one of many signs that among our great muni- cipalities there was a growing sensitiveness to the wants of the mass of the population. The larger sense of municipal responsibility which was beginning to prevail would react on the municipali- ties themselves and attract men who had held aloof from municipal tife, and it was becoming increas- ingly doubtful whether Parliament or a great cor- ration offered the greater scope for a useful public career. The life of a member of Parliament tended day by day to lose its individuality but the life of a member of a corporation, if he read their debates rightly, did not. Lord Rosebery closed by declaring the palace free and open to the public for ever. He was subsequently entertained at luncheon in the mrinicipal buildings.
DEFENCE OF LONDON.
DEFENCE OF LONDON. REHEARSAL BY GUARDS AND VOLUNTEERS. The streets of London presented a brilliant picture on Saturday night, thousands of people turning out to witness the march of Guards and Volunteers, the occasion being the periodical rehearsal of a call-out of troops in the event of a supposed attack upon London. The scheme was formulated by General Trotter and the Horse Guards staff and carried out with most satisfactory effect. The general idea under- lying the plan was that an invading force had made a successful landing on the East Coast and was rapidly marching on the metropolis, and all the avail- able troops in the metropolis were dispatched in haste to take up a defensive position on the heights above London. The time for parading and march- ing was prescribed within narrow limits, between 6.30 and 6.45, and the task which each column had to accomplish was limited to a march of from one to one and a-half hours across and through crowded thoroughfares, each corps being required to be in its position before 8.30. There were seven columns. No. 1 Column (North London Infantry Brigade with 1st London Engineers attached) formed up at Regent's-park, and under the command of Colonel Graves-Sarle (Coldstream Guards) marched to a position in the centre of the line of outposts on Hampstead-heath. No. 5 Column, consisting of seven battalions of the Surrey Brigade, under the command of Colonel Villiers (1st Surrey Rifles), forming upon the Horse Guards Parade, got off punctually at 6.40, and after a rest of five minutes at two points of the route, reached its position on the left centre near Gospel Oak Station just before the hour appointed. No. 2 Column, consisting of the five battalions of the South London Brigade, with the 1st Middlesex Engineers and the Volunteer Medical Staff Corps attached, was the strongest of the seven. It was under the command of its own Brigadier (Colonel Barrington Campbell, com- manding the Scots Guards). Their portion of the task was to march from the Achilles Statue, in Hyde-park, to Parliament-fields, on the west of Gospel Oak Station. The right of the line was held by another strong brigade (the East London), commanded by Colonel Oliphant (com- manding the Grenadier Guards). This included the L.R.B. (500 strong), 2nd London (400). 3rd London (350). 15th Middlesex (350). 2nd Middlesex Artillery (300), Tower Hamlets Rifle Brigade (350), 2nd Tower Hamlets R.V. (350), Post Office itifles (500), and the 2nd Tower Hamlets Engineers (500). The position taken up was the cricket-ground, Vic- toria-park, the march performed being from the Tower of London, through Whitechapel and Bethnal- gregn. The remaining column (No. 4) consisted of the battalions of the West London Brigade, com- manded by Col. Brown, C.B. (commanding 17th Mid- dlesex). This column found its position in the right centre at Highbury-fields, having marched through Central London. General Trotter, with his Assistant- Adjutant-General, Colonel Mackinnon, posted him- self at Gospel-oak Station on the left centre to receive information from all the stations, which was com- municated by signallers and also by cyclists. A feature not realised in previous night marches was the employment of the 26th Middlesex R.V., under the command of Lieutenant Lascelles (Scots Guards), to represent a skeleton enemy. The utmost interest was taken in the operations by the public. OFFICIAL REPORT. Colonel W. H. Mackinnon, Assistant Adjutant- General of the Home district, has furnished details of the march. There were 13.959 of all ranks engaged, 625 officers, 1340 warrant officers and sergeants, 1197 trumpeters, drummers, and buglers, and 10,797 rank and file. Colonel .Mackinnon's report states that the Major- General (General Trotter) is on the whole satisfied with the manner in which the march was conducted. The hour of arrival of the various columns was accurately timed, with the ex- ception of one column, which arrived 21 minutes too Boon. Silence in the ranks was an essential feature of the march, discipline was very well maintained, but (as at the last night march) distances were not carefully kept, and in some cases corps got detached from their brigade, and were temporarily lost. Several cases of misunderstanding orders" are reported. In one case this resulted in the com- plete disappearance of a battalion, which was not seen again. The Major-General regrets ex- tremely to hear of several cases in one column Qf men, falling out on the march, and entering public- houses. Ile- knows the volunteers too well to con- demn the whole force for the act of a few worthless men but he has called for a special report in these cases, and lie hopes the severest notice will be taken of such discreditable conduct. The signalling work was well done. The appearance and turn-out of the men were creditable, and the major-general was specially pleased with the intelligent interest displayed by all ranks.
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A STATEMENT is published showing that the total amount of personal estate disposed of in seven years by wills of 119 brewers was 919,948,857, with an average of Z167,637 each. A MARRIAGE has been arranged, and will shortly take place, between Baron Heinrich von Siebold, of the Austrian, Diplomatic Service, and Mrs. Wallace Carpenter, widow of the late Major Wallace Car- penter, 7th Fusiliers. Tuni amount of tobacco consumed annually per inhabitant in Germany and the United States is three pounds, and in Russia, France, and England the amount is one pound.
THE HEALTH OF LARGE TOW-TS.
THE HEALTH OF LARGE TOW-TS. The Statistical Office of the Kingdom of the Netherlands has appended to iU last report, which has just been issued at Amsterdam, an interesting contribution to inteariational statistics. The apppnc1 ix is a table of the comparative mortality of all the great cities of Europe whose population exceeds 200,000 inhabitants. The only town included in the list wiH-i a population under that number is Christiania. which has only 174,717 inhabitants, but is joined to its more populous sister-cities on account of its dignity as the capital of Norway. As the comparative number of deaths to 1000 01 the living in each town is given in the Dutch tables with exact precision, it would take up some space to copy out the list in full. The general re- sults, however, may be summarised in about 13 dis- tinct groups. (1) At the head of the list stands Frankfort-on-the-Main alone, as it is the sole city in Europe whose mortality is at the level of 15 in the thousand. (2) Next come the two only towns, Ant- werp and Edinburgh, whose mortality is 16 in the thousand. (3) Amsterdam, Stockholm, Copenhagen. and Hanover stand at 17 in the thousand. (4) At 18 in the thousand, London, Brussels. Berlin, Rotter- dam, Newcastle, Hamburg, and Christiania. (5) At 19 in the thousand, Leeds, Hull, Sheffield, Dresden, and Rome. (6) At 20 in the thousand, Paris, Lyons, Leipsic, Prague, and Glasgow. (7) At 21 in the thousand, Birmingham, Lille, Warsaw, and Magdeburg. (8) At 22 in the thousand, Cologne Vienna, and Odessa. (9) At 23 in the thousand, St. Petersburg, Munich, Manchester, and Liverpool. (10) At 24 in the thousand, none; at 25 in the thousand, Dublin and Breslau. (11) At 26 and 27 in the thousand, none; at 28 in the thousand, Turin and Buda-Pesth. (12) At 29 in the thousand, Moscow. (13) At 30, 31, and 32, none; and then comes Lisbon with the unenviable figures of 33 in the thousand. The only great European capital which is omitted is Madrid, with a population of nearly .500,000, as the figures were wanting for an exact comparison—which applies also to the still more populous industrial Spanish town, Barcelona, which has more than 902,000 inhabitants, more than half of whom cannot read.
SHALL WE HAVE DEARER MONEY…
SHALL WE HAVE DEARER MONEY SOON? Answering this question, the Investors' Retiew says that just now, of course, the market is in its usual sloppy condition. After dividends and interests pay- able in the beginning of the month have been dis- tributed, short loans become cheap, and many people are ready to suppose that the cheapness will con- tinue. In recent years, through a variety of causes, it has continued, the quietness of trade and the great increase in the production of gold being the chief. Will it continue cheap this year ? We confess to have doubts on the point. To begin with, there is less money in the market than it has been ac- customed to-we may say for the past three years; then the demands upon this money promise to be larger in the coming spring than for a long time back. We say nothing about such appa- rent pulls upon our supply of banking credit as the New South Wales and Western Australian loans, because these really bring money into the market instead of taking it away. The Government of these colonies borrow here in order to save themselves the necessity of remitting home, or in order to pay for railway and other materials ordered in this country. By acting thus they can keep their revenues for domestic expenditure, and plume themselves on their riches and the ease with which they carry their burdens. The subscription on colonial loans, there- fore. means that money is collected from all parts of the country to lie in banks until dispersed again by interest and other payments, and swell the amount of credit available on the London market. POR AND AGAINST. But this year we shall be subject to demands upon our gold, and therefore to a reduction of a serious description in the credit handled by the market. As to the position of India, if her finances are to be saved, at least 10 million sterling will have to be supplied to her, most of it within the next six months. Then it is highly probable that a Chinese loan may be issued before next May, and if that Empire obtains 16 millions on our endorsement, some con- siderable portion of this will have to be sent to the East. This loan must be raised if China is not to become a prey to land-grabbers from Russia, Germany, France, and perhaps other countries, and if the full payment on her existing debt is to be kept up. Again. Europe has not yet paid for the grain it has required to import in order to make good the deficiencies of its harvest. The full weight of this debt may not be experienced until well on in the summer, but it is a factor to be kept in view as tend- ing to increase the pressure upon our money market. There are other sources of danger to us, more or less artificially created, which also have to be taken note of, such as further shipments of gold to Buenos Ayres to sustain the great financial scheme for restoring Argentine credit, and the demands of Russia in con- nection with the still incomplete establishment of her currency upon a gold basis. Against such sources of exhaustion as we have indicated, we must, not forget. to place the great and steadily increasing output of gold from mines in all parts of the world. South Africa alone turned out more than 3,,000,000oz. of gold last year, and the yield of Australian mines and of Indian has been well sustained. A new source of supply of considerable magnitude may possibly develop in that region in Canada which lies at the back of the North Wind, but without counting this it may fairly be assumed that the entire gold production of the world in the year 1898 will approach £ 50,000,000. We may certainly assume that it will be over E45,000,000, and it is impossible to over-estimate the effect of this supply in mitigating the dangers our money market may be threatened with. Should an export of gold to the United States occur in the coming spring, then, indeed, money might rise to five per cent. with us, but we see little prospect of this. It can only come if the British public loses its head once more about American railroad securities, and such a lamentable catastrophe is not yet in view. On the whole, then, we are disposed to think that although money will not be so cheap this year as it was for the greater part of 1897, and although it. may become dearer next month and continue dearer for some time than it is now, we are in no danger of a four per cent. Bank rate, at least not before the end of the financial year.
DELIGHTFUL TOBOGGANING.
DELIGHTFUL TOBOGGANING. Many varieties of tobogganing there are, and on the village run at St. Moritz you shall see them all in full swing—babies upon biscuit boxes, reckless couples on a tandem, noble sportsmen on a pair of rocking-horses, aged legislators on the creaking "Swiss." But, amusing as are all of these, for the really fascinating element of the sport you must always go back, behind the Kulm Hotel, to where the line of eager faces watches a rider as he flashes round the great banks of the Church Leap, appears again for just a breathless moment on the perilous curve of battledore," and soon flies down the Straight towards the winning-post. Then, says Casse/l's Magazine—and not till then—you will realise a little of the courage and dexterity that is needed for The Best Tobogganing."
THE LARGEST STEAMSHIP AFLOAT.
THE LARGEST STEAMSHIP AFLOAT. This is the distinction accorded by Cassier's Magazine to the steamship, Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse, which was recently placed in the express ser- vice of the North German Lloyd between Bremen and New York. On her maiden trip she exceeded the record made by any other steamship on her first trip, covering the distance from Southampton to New York—3050 miles—in five days 22 hours and 35 minutes, at an average speed of 21'39 nautical miles an hour. After dropping her pilot her engines were not stopped until the pilot was taken on hoard off Sandy Hook Lightship. The dimensions of the Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse are as follows Length over all, 648ft. beam,66ft.; depth, 43ft.; ton- nage. 14,000; and displacement 20,000 tons. These measurements, Cassier's says, exceed those of all vessels of other nations. Her screws are made of bronze, and weigh 26 tons each. They revolve at 75 to 80 turns a minute. The engines measure 42ft. in height from their foundations to the top of their cylinders. The total force in the engineers' depart- ment comprises 216 men, of whom the stokers and coal heavers number 180. In the main dining-room, with its four side rooms, about 400 persons can easily dine at once.
THE WAYS OF INSURANCE
THE WAYS OF INSURANCE INSPECTORS. An insurance expert has been telling a correspon- dent that '"when an insurance inspector notices the remains of a large number of empty boxes among the dSbris of a fire, or has his attention called to some suspicious circumstance, he remarks politely to the person insured who has a policy for, say, £1000, I think Y.100 will settle your claim ?' The policy-holder may demur at first, but if he is afraid of going into court he generally agrees to accept one-tenth of his claim. The name of a claimant of this class is promptly written on a card with a black edjie round it, and the card is left at the office of every insurance company without comment." Surely a very neat way of breaking the spirit and not the letter of the libel laws. _—
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Is that one of your servants, madam ?" No, n;) t I Don't "peak so loud. That's the cook."
I THE ARMY AND THE NAVY.
I THE ARMY AND THE NAVY. READY FOR WAR." Speaking at the annual dinner of the North London Rifle Club, Lord Wolseley, Commander-in- Chief, said he admitted that he was an optimist as to the efficiency of the British Army, and he had reason by his own knowledge for being so. The great difficulty was that they had to fill a quart pot out of a pint pot. The quart pot repre- sented the army abroad, and the pint pot the army at home. They had at last awakened to the need, and the solution of the problem was simple. If the number of battalions at home were increased, they could meet the requirements of the army abroad. People spoke of our boy battalions," but the case of one regiment which had been selected as a bad example had been inquired into, and what had they found ? Why, that under a burning sun that regi- ment marched 30 miles one day, and 27 miles on the following day. The boys must have been well- grown and well-disciplined to accomplish that. In conclusion, Lord Wolseley declared upon his honour as a gentleman and his reputation as a soldier he could say what from his knowledge of history lie believed no predecessor of his in his present position could ever have said—that if her Majesty's Govern- ment declared war to-morrow there would be ready, complete to the merest detail, on the quays of Eng- land, two full army corps, ready, as British soldiers always had been, to do their duty before the navy could provide the ships to carry them across the seas. and those army corps would be composed of the finest men, better equipped and better drilled than any that ever left our shores. INCREASE IN THE PERSONNEL. A news agency is enabled to state that her Majesty's Government has decided to ask Parliament to sanc- tion an increase in the personnel of the Royal Navy of no fewer than .5000 men. Furthermore, 2000 stokers and 300 engine-room artificers will be added to the effective strength of the Navy during the cur- rent quarter. The first-class battleship Illustrious is to be forthwith commissioned. The Hannibal, a sister ship to the Illustrious, is also to be placed in commission. These two battleships are the most powerful ships in her Majesty's Navy, being each of 14,900 tons.
WILL OF MR. TERRISS.
WILL OF MR. TERRISS. The will of the late Mr. William Terriss has been proved, the value of the deceased actor's estate being sworn at under £ 20,000. The estate consisted for the most part of railway shares and first-class de- bentures. There is a legacy of £ 100 to be paid to the widow—doubtless for immediate convenience— the remainder of the estate being bequeathed for the benefit of Mrs. Terriss and her children. <-
..I A CURIOUS CUSTOM.
A CURIOUS CUSTOM. In the Chancery Division of the High Court, before Mr. Justice Kekewich, an action has been tried in which the clerk to the Parish Council of Haddenham, Buckinghamshire, on behalf of the parishioners, sued Mrs. Jane Bode, widow, the owner of the lands allotted in lieu of the great tithes, claim- ing a declaration that it was an ancient custom of the parish of Haddenham that the parson, as the owner of the great tithes, should keep within the parish a common bull and a common borr for the use of the kine and sows of the parishioners, and that the defendant, as the present owner of the lands allotted in lieu of the great tithes, is bound to perform the said custom. The plaintiff also claimed an injunction to restrain the defendant from omitting to perform the custom, and asked for damages. His lordship dismissed the action with costs, holding that when by an Enclosure Act of 1830 lands were allotted in substitution of the great tithes the custom on which the plaintiff claimed was not shifted on to those lands, and further that the defendant was owner of only a part of the lands.
AN ITINERANT CHURCH.
AN ITINERANT CHURCH. Transportation, next to food supply, is the most serious problem of civilisation. That is why there is such a vast number of inventions recorded at the Patent Office for the purpose of carrying people and things. Some of them are very odd indeed, says an American journal, and particularly for the use and benefit of the evangelical missionary is a newly invented railway car. When on the road it looks like an ordinary Pullman, but, when desired, it, expands into a church, and furnishes shelter and housing for a congregation of worshippers. So complete is this travelling sacerdotal edifice, indeed, that it actually has a steeple, which is hoisted up and clapped upon the top of it as the finishing touch. Many people consider that, a church without a steeple is no church at all in the proper sense, and hence the desirable- ness on this part of the apparatus. The inventor of this cathedral on wheels is Albert Bierstadt, the dis- tinguished painter of New York. His idea sprang originally from a recognition of the difficulties which must be encountered by peripatetic preachers who find themselves so frequently in places where there is no church. Now, it is a fact undeniable that religious services of any kind depend for their impressiveness largely upon architecture. A sermon delivered from a gracefully carved pulpit in the apse of a superb Gothic edifice has an effect upon its heal-ei-s very different from that which would be produced upon the same congregation by the same discourse pro- nounced from the tail of a cart. Hence the value of the sacerdotal railway car herein described. The car is as useful for transportation as any parlour Pullman. When it reaches a place where its services in its sacred capacity are required, it is run off upon a side track. However, it must be explained that cars of this kind are designed to travel in couples, each of them making one-half of the church. The side walls are swung outward, and the whole affair unfolds, the two halves being joined to- gether. In order to accomplish this the two cars are run upon tracks side by side. If the tracks are not convenient, half a dozen rails temporarily laid will do. The steeple, which is collapsible, is tele- scoped out before placing it upon the summit of the edifice. Then, the building being complete—its con- struction does not take more than half an hour—it only remains to unfold a lot of settees for us as im- provised pews by the congregation, and all is ready for the church service. The folding pulpit, with baptismal font combined, is a mere detail, though important for saving space. In conclusion, it ought to be stated that the church is really convertible into j a lecture hall or a gallery for the exhibition of pic- tures. Now that the interior of Africa is being penetrated by railways, it will be practicable for missionaries to carry their churches with them, and to preach the Gospel to the untutored blacks under auspices much more fan-otirible.
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A CHIMNEY stack standing 162ft. high, belonging to an electric power house at St. Louis, U.S., was partly demolished by the tornado that swept through that city in May, 1896. When the loose brickwork at ¡.lIe top of what was left had been cleared away, it wis found that the stub measured 39ft. The work of reconstructing the upper part was begun on May 31, the first brick not being laid till ten on the morning of June 3. By eleven on the morning of Juno 14, the last tier had been laid and the copper cap was on again. Nine bricklayers did the work, and, after making due allowance for a stoppage of half a day through bad weather, and the absence of one or more of the gang for parts of the time, the act ual laying of every 15,000 bricks occupied them 12 hours. SO each man placed 139 bricks per hour, or a brick in 1 3-20th minutes. As the furnaces were alight during the last seven days, the men had to labour on with shades over their eyes and respirators over their mouths to counteract the effects of the smoke. SIR WALTER AND LADY SEXDALL arc now on their way home from Cyprus, and it is understood that they will not remain long in England before starting for British Guiana, where Sir Walter has to assume thr Governorship. He was for many years connected with the Education Department in Ceylon, which he joined in 1859. He was appointed Governor of Natal in 1882, but did not take up the appointment. and a little later was made Governor of the Windward Islands. In 1889 he was appointed Governor of Bar- bados, and three years later he was made High Com- missioner in Cyprus. Lady Sendall is remarkable as being one of the most popular and tactful Gover- nor's wives in the service, and her advent in George- town will be hailed with delight. Her Excellency is a daughter of the late Rev. Henry Calverley, Vicar of South Stoke and Prebendary of Wells. SOME idea of the immense loss of revenue caused in New South Wales, Queensland, Victoria, and South Australia by the absurdly foolish practice of branding cattle on the rump or shoulder may be obtained frou. the. report of a Queensland Select Committee on the subject. Time after time the English and Continental hide buyers have drawn the attention of colonial ex- porters to the matter, but the red-tapeism of the various Brands Acts in Australia probably could not be overcome. The Select Committee referred to esti- mates the loss on Queensland hides at lOs. each, and the annual loss at £ 300,000. The object of affixing brands, often huge and disfiguring, on the rump or shoulder is that the marks may be easily seen, and the committee suggests that a system of cheek and ear marking should be substituted for the present disas- trous practice. It seems incredible that the Aus- tralian squatters have for so many years calmly suf- fered such a loss of money when there is such a. simple remedy. On some two or three of the big cattle stations, however, the system of branding on the cheek is practised. Unless the Brands Acts arp to blame, wby is this not general ? <v r
... FUN AND FANCY.
FUN AND FANCY. WIrr: (enthusiastically): "How much do you think we took in at the bazaar?" Husband (quietly): IIow many. you mean ?" YOUNG WIFE (proudly): "George always says there's no cooking like mine." Uncle Crusty (with a disdainful smile): "Does he? Well, he's about right there, poor chap.' FIRST FRIEND: Do you have good police protec- tion out your way ?" Second Friend Do we ? Well, I should say so. We have the prettiest servant- girl in the town." A YOLNG lady forwarded to an editor for publica- tion a poem entitled, I Cannot Make Him Smile." He said she would have succeeded had she shown him" the poem. THERE are three important things in a man's life— when he is born, when lie marries, and when lie dies. And even then his own importance is overshadowed by the curiosity to know if he is a boy or girl, what the bride wore, and what, he left in his will. FIRST PASSENGER (irritably): "Where are your eyes?" Celtic Passenger (pleasantly): "In me head." First Passenger (warming up): "Well, can't you see my feet?" Celtic Passenger (more pleasantly): No ye have shoes on." Do you think your sister likes to have me come here, Johnny?" "You bet. You take her to the theatre and bring her chocolates." I'm glad I can make her happy." "Yes. and the young feller what she's engaged to don't mind it either, for it saves him that much money towards housekeeping." MAGISTRATE: "You say the officer arrested you while you were quietly minding your own business ?" Prisoner: Yes, your worship." Magistrate: "You were quietly attending to your own business, making no noise or disturbance of any kind?" Prisoner: None whatever, sir." Alagistrate "it seems very strange. What is your business ?" Prisoner: I'm a burglar." KATE He seems extremely devoted. He talks of going to Klondike for my sake." Beatrice Well, that would give you two chances. He might come back with a fortune, or he might not come back at all." WHEN a man has lost his pocket-book or a gold collar-stud the question asked him by nine people out of ten is, Where did you lose it ?" And this is always a very soothing question to the loser, because if he knew where he lost the article, it is not reason- able to suppose that he would be looking in forty dif- ferent places to find it. THE auctioneer was trying to sell an old hand- organ, and to that end was grinding out the music (alleged). In sport, the crowd around the rostrum began to throw coppers, when a bystander remarked: Sir, you ought to have a monkey." Certainly, so I ought," was the rejoinder. Will you kindly step up here ?" The wit vanished. MRS. B.: The lady Dabbs is going to marry is highly intellectual. She speaks three languages." Mr. B. (condolingly): "Poor Dabbs." A SCHOOL class were asked what makes the sea salt, One scholar was equal to it. His hand went up: Please, sir, the errings." SHOP-ASSISTANT Shall I send this for you, madam?" Lady: "No, thank you, I'm driving." Lady's Little Girl (in ecstasy): Oh, mummy, are we going back in the yellow 'bus?" PATIENT: I have come to you, doctor, for advice. I am suffering terribly from insomnia. For eight nights now I haven't had a wink of sleep. What would you advise me to do ?" Doctor:" Get a job somewhere as night-watchman." BOARD-SCHOOL TEACHER (to building contractor's son): "Johnnie, what does g-r-o-u-n-d mean?" Johnnie (after a pause): Don't know." Teacher: "Don't know? What is it that your father builds houses on ?" Johnnie Spec." HE: I wonder what the meaning of that picture is ? The youth and the maiden are in a tender atti- tude." ghe Oh, don't you see ? He has just asked her to marry him, and she is accepting him. How sweet! What does thj artist call the picture ?" He (looking about): Oh, I see It's written on a card at the bottom, Sold PHOTOGRAPHER (to sitter): I saw you at church last Sunday, Miss Timson." Sitter Oh. did you ?" Photographer: Yes, and also your friend, Miss Watts—if you could raise your chin a trifle, thanks —and what an atrocious-looking hat she had on." (After a pause.) "There: Miss Timson, it is over, and I think we have caught a very pleasant expres- sion." YES, indeed," said Jenkins, I thoroughly believe in the mind-cure. Now, in the morning when my six children all wake up and howl and scream in six different keys, I just persuade myself that I'm at the German opera, and turn over in bed and go to sleep again." Now," said the lawyer, I cannot take your case unless you tell me the whole truth." What shall I tell first?" asked the client, peering through the bars. Well, you might let me know just how much money you've got." JACK: I'll tell you what's the matter, George, you don't praise your wife enough. Even if things don't go right, there's no use growling. Praise her efforts to please, whether they are successful or not. Women like praise, and lots of it." George: All right. I'll remember it." George (at dinner, same day): My dear, this steak-pie is just lovely It is delicious! Ever so much better than those my mother used to make. She couldn't equal that pie if she tried for a month." George's Wife You made fun of every pie 1 ever made, and now-" George But this is lovely." George's Wife That came from the baker's." EDrroR: You're not writing any more mother-in- law jokes ?" Mr. Phun No I'm married now and I tell you the mother-in-law is no joke." COME and take lunch with me to-day," said one business man to another. I can't. I've an appoint- ment." "Can't you break it?" "No, a man has promised to come to my office at noon, and pay me some money." Oh, then, that's all right. I'll order the lunch for two. He won't come." BING: Yes, that's old Spriggings. Half-a-dozen doctors have given him up at various times during his life." Wing What was the trouble with him?' Bing: He wouldn't pay his bills." EVEN if people go to church, there is the difficuty of keeping them awake. One clergyman, sorely tried by a dozing majority of his audience, stopped speaking, when they all, naturally, awoke. Then he said to them: My good friends, this sermon cost me a good deal of labour, and I do not think you have paid it the attention it deserves. I shall, therefore, go over it again." And he did. HAR T) U pip: Isn't it a beastly thing to have a lot of debts you can't pay ?" Grabgrind I know of only one thing worse." And what is that ?" To have a lot of debts you can't make other people pay" MOTHER: I wonder what we can do with Johnny, he has such a way of exaggerating every- thing. He is always making a mountain out of a mole-hill." Father I think, my dear, we had better make him ah auctioneer." WHAT'S the use of crying over spilt milk ?" So saying the milkman turned cheerfully to the pump, and supplied the deficiency. DUMLEY "Gibbs, I understand that Tomkins re- ferred to me yesterday as an old fool. I don't think that sort of thing is right." Gibbs Why, of course it isn't right, Dumley. You can't be more than forty at the outside." MAMMA, the scenery abroad must be very ill-bred." Scenery ill-bred, my child What do you mean ?" "This book on Alpine climbing says,' A terrible abyss yawned before them.' MAGISTRATE: Here you are again. Will you never reform ?" Incorrigible:" I assure you I am as full as possible of good intentions, but when I've had a little drop too much—well—there—you know as well as anybody what it is." AT last, after many dangers, she had braved the terrors of the Chilcoot Pass and had rejoined he lover on the Klondike. Are you glad to see me?' she asked. Do you still think I am worth my weight in gold ?" In gold ?" he cried, contemptu- ously, as he folded her to his frozen bosom. My darling, you are worth your weight in food." A FARMER has a son who writes verse, but is too modest to submit it for publication. One day, when the farmer was going to town, he took a bundle of poems along with him and handed them to an editor. "They're pretty fair," said the editor. His rhyme is all right, but there is something wrong with his feet." "Well," said the farmer, I won't deny it; he's got corns." ONLY those who have been roused from mid- night slumber on board ship by the terrible cry 'Man overboard, said the traveller, can compre- hend to the full its terrible meaning, the fear and horror of its sudden alarm." Oh, yes, they can," replied the little lame shoemaker, who wasn't much of a traveller. I heard it once when I wasn't near the ship, and I realised the horror, of it more than anyone else." "You couldn't, said the traveller, scornfully. Yes, I could," persisted the little lame shoemaker I was the man who was overboard FRIEND: What! your baby two years old, and still doesn't know how to walk ?" Fond Mamma (apologetically): Well, you see, we've been so busy teaching him how to ride his little bike, that really I we haven't had time for anything else yet." MOST of the great inventions of the world are due to men. They are driven to inventing. They haven't any hairpins to do things with. TIIEY had been engaged a long time, and one even- ing were reading the paper together. Look, love. only E2 10s. for a suit of clothes ?" Is it a wedding suit ?" she asked, looking naively at her lover. Oh, no," he replied, it's a business suit." Well, I meant business," she replied. 7