Barry Herald

A man never realizes how very dear a girl is to him until he acquires the right to pay her bills. WIlD a man sings his own praise he invariably gets the tune too high. DOCTORS assist nature when men try to escape the- debt thereof. WHIS a girl is in love she doesn't cam his letters in her packet.

ART AND LITERATURE. So scarce at this moment is literary intelligence of any particular consequence (says a writer in the Morning Post) that we might well suppose that a censor had been appointed to prevent any such news from obtaining currency. Of course, there are enough and to spare of the type-written circulars in- forming us of such interesting facts as we may best suggest by a few typical examples. So enormous is the demand for Miss Blank's new novel that the first edition of 10,000 copies his been exhausted, and a second of 20,000 has been ordered from the printers, before the author has completed the MS. of the second chapter," or Mr. Dash, the popular novelist, whose latest work, A World on Fire,' has been so favourably received by the public, has taken a flat at Weston-on-the-Naze, where he wilj be a welcome addition to the small colony of men of letters already settled at that rising watering-place." Announcements of this kind only "come from Sheffield when the authors who may be referred to happen to reside in that industrious city. THE remarkable paper on Sir Robert Peel which Lord Rosebery contributed to the Anglo-Saxon Remew, is to be issued as a separate book in a few day by Messrs. Cassell and Company. IT is easy to understand (remarks the Globe) what an amount of excitement was caused in French art circles by the rumour that neither Salon was going to hold an exhibition during the coming year. Naturally all artists who knew how limited would necessarily be the selection made to represent modern French art in the Universal Exhibition were look- ing forward to the opening of the Salons to give them a chance of making specially, evident their best capacities; and to them the idea of being ex- cluded from any participation in the great events projected for 1900 must have seemed particularly unfortunate. It will, therefore, be a great relief to them to find that one of the Salons, that of the Champs Elysees, is to be held after all. It is to open on April 1 in a new building that is to be erected out by Grenelle, a range of galleries far larger that was before available in the Palais de l'Industrie. The executive committee of the Salon is to be congratulated on its refusal to make any difference in its customary rules as to the admis- sion of works of art to the exhibitions it controls. A proposition was advanced that foreign works should be excluded for the future, but this was defeated by a large majority. The decision was a wise one, for nothing could be more suicidal or more opposed to the interests of French art than an attempt to separate it from that of other countries, and to put a stop to that healthy com- petition to which it owes part at least of ita vita- lity. No national school can, ever hope to remain vigorous and active if it depends for its progress simply upon inbieeding, and keeps itself from contact with the productions of other countries. That this contact with foreign art has had its effect even upon a school so robust and self- reliant as that of France is proved by the impression that was made three-quarters of a century ago upon the artists of that country by the appearance of Constable's Hay Wain at the Salon. It is said chat Delacroix, immediately after seeing this canvas, repainted partly or entirely one of his most important pictures, acknowledging in this way the sincerity of his belief in Constable's power as an interpreter of nature and it is certainly true that the flnest group of French landscape painters owes something of its strength to study of English work. IN connection with the Tate Gallery, which the late Sir H. Tate made as a gift to the nation, it is interesting to see from some letters in the Builder, that, Lord Leighton and the able architect of the Gallery, Mr. Sidney R. J. Smith, were in correspond- ence for some time regarding the exterior design of the structure. The then president of the Royal Academy held strong views, to which the architect very naturally paid attention, and the design was in the end modified. Lord Leighton, in taking excep- tion to one part of the scheme, wrote: "An edifice with a dome on it is one of the finest forms of build- ing, but the last thing it would suggest to an un- biassed mind is a casket for the display of works of art." GOLF at a level of 1000ft. above the summit of Mont Blanc is remarkable. Captain F. E. S. Adair, in his book. "A Summer in High Asia," just published, tells how in crossing the passes into Tibet he camped one day at a lovely spot carpeted with short, bright green turf, on the margin of a lake. He proceeds: "Being a golf enthusiast I had brought a driver with me and a putter, and so having made a hole in the short turf I instituted a putting competition for the camp, I should think the first time that the royal and ancient game had been played at an elevation of upwards of 16,000ft." MR. H. B. BRABAZON has so long enjoyed a well- founded reputation as one of the most sensitive and observant students of Nature that the impressionist school can claim that there is little necessity to attempt any explanation of his point of view in the exhibition of his water-colours and pastel drawings that is now open at the Goupil Gallery in London. The work he shows there is ex- quisite in its knowledge of what may be done with the briefest labour when the in- tention is fixed immutably from the first, and is perfect in its rapid insight into those subtleties of nature that are so fleeting as almost to defy analysis. It is extraordinarily vivid and exact, sur- prisingly expressive, and supremely intelligent, and yet it is carried out with such absolute economy of handling that it might seem to the careless observer to be simply the outcome of chance. What, how- ever, Mr. Brabazon has done (the Globe says) is to reduoe seeming incoherence to a science. Every one of his apparently haphazard touches has its true meaning, and every stroke of his brush gives the effect that he wishes and intends. Slightness is part of his method, for by it he gains the subtle suggestiveness that makes his art so fascinating, and gives himself scope to treat those effects which appeal to him as most completely worthy of record. Colour and atmosphere are the subjects he chooses, the accident of locality matters to him hardly at all, and with the most consistent devotion he sets him- self always to realise just those facts, and those only, that he decides are fittest for record. IT is perhaps not generaily known that Sir C. F. Clery, who commands the second division in Natal, is the author of a most successful work on tactics. The work is indeed recognised as a standard book throughout Europe. But Clery is not merely a paper country General. He has had lots of active experience, and in tbesuakim campaign he was con- spicuous for the reckless manner in which he ex- posed himself, retaining his red coat when every- one else sought protection in sandrcoloured khaki. UNLIKE some more eminent men of his generation, Mr. Grant Allen has not had to wait for a bio- grapher. Already Mr. Edward Clodd is collecting materials for a memoir. Though Mr. Clodd's sympathies were probably rather with the scientific and philosophical than with the lighter side of Mr. Allen's work, there is little doubt that he will pro- duce a very readable book about his friend, whose career offers much that is worth recording, especially in its earlier stages, as an encouragement to the rising generation. THE monograph on "Chatham," on which Lord 1 Rosebery has for some time been engaged, is now in the printers' hands. It will be uniform with his work I on Pitt." Mtt. FREOERIC MINES writes to the Academy: "I have just received from Genoa the local newspaper, Caffaro, in which is a beautiful translation of Mr. Kipling's popular war-poem, The title is rendered 11 mendicante distratto.' Passing over the adjec- tive, which is a curious enough translation of absent-minded,' what are we to think of mendi- cante'—mendicant, or, literally, 'beggar?' There are many funny things in the translation. Against son of a Lambeth publican' (' Figlio d'un liquorista di Lambeth ') there is an asterisk, denoting an explanatory footnote, which is—would you believe it ?—' Kruger. THE memoir of the Duchess of Teck will be pub- lished soon after Christmas. Its greatest interest lies in the picture it presents of the English Court at a particular period. This was following the death of the Prince Consort, when the Queen was in retire- ment. The Princess &>7&1 was married and in Ger- many, the Prince of Wales was only about 20, and the rest of the Queen's children were too young to be prominent in affairs. Princess Mary of Cam- bridge was a leader at Court in those days, and her journals are an interesting record of them. DETAILS received from an authoritative source (ob- serves the Daily Chronicle) can now be given as to the new discount system which will begin in the book trade with January. It is really not a new discount system at all, but a strengthening of the net system." The agreement has been subscribed to by all the important publishers, the distribut- ing houses, and most of the booksellers. The aim is to establish the net system on a recog- nised basis, to place it as a make-weight against the practice of giving threepence off the shilling." That practice, however, must still con- tinue in regard to the mass of bookselling, say novels. It has such a hold in the English book trade that it would be difficult to uproot it by any direct attack. A consolidated net system, meaning, no doubt, the eventual spread of that method of book trade, will, it is believed, furnish a corrective. Thus, after January 1, every bookseller will be ex- pected to sell a net book at the publishing price—not a penny less. Should this rule be infringed any- where, the local branch of the Booksellers' Associa- tion is to report to headquarters. Next, the matter will be placed before the Publishers' Association, which holds the final power. j

SCIENCE NOTES. 1" TnE Eleetrician states that a school for wfioiess telegraphy is being established on one side of the Government hulks in Portsmouth harbour. THE Telephone was first practically used in Eng- 1and in 1876, when over 115 miles of wire existed between London and Norwich, but no telephone ex- change fcgts established until 1879, when 10 offices were connected. EDISON, the inventor, prefers women machinists for the delicate1 details of his electrical machines. He says that they display more fine sense about machinary in one minute than most men in their whole existence. He backs up his statement by having 200 female employee in his works. IT is curious to notice that wood tar is prepared just as it was in the fourth century B.C. A bank is chosen and a hole dug, into which the wood is placed, covered with turf. A fire is lighted underneath, and the tar slowly drips into the barrels placed to re- ceive it. RECENT observation by M. Laborde on fourteen cases of restoration to life by rhythmic traction of the tongue shows that If hours of the treatment may be too -short in some cases, and that it would be better, as a rule, not to give it up in despair for at least three hours, since the vital force can be latent for that period. An important fact brought out is that with the older processes of resuscitation one could not re-establish the respiratory movements when the asphyxia had lasted for more than five or six minutes but with traction of the tongue persons who have been under water for thirty or forty minutes can be restored to life. THE metal used in the casting of bells is an alloy of copper, in the proportion of four parts of copper to one of tin. The copper is first melted and the tin added just before pouring. One of the secrets in bell-founding is to have the molten alloy heated to the critical point exactly. ACCORDING to the returns recently published bylkyds Register, the number of steam vessels for the whole world totally lost, condemned, &c., during the half- year ended June last was 51, of a net gross tonnage respectively of 43,203 and 67,553. The United Kingdom's loss amounted to 14 vessels, of 15,679 net tons, and 25,215 gross tons. AnD pointing out the importance of searchlights for the Army in South Africa, and how the balloon at Ladysmith has probably saved the situation by ob- serving where the enemy massed, and with the help of a telephone and maps, divided into numbered squares, enabling the besieged to fire upon them, Nature asks its old question: Why there is no scien- tific committee to advise the Government in such matters ? HERB LBDE, of Innsbruck, in the Hygienische Rundschau, states that water can be completely sterilised by means of dry chloride of lime, 015 gramme per litre. The chloride is first rubbed into a grout with a little water, and the rest of the water added while stirring. A certain quantity of hydro- chloric acid is then added, and in half an hour the water has cleared. Then 0'3 gramme of sodium sul- phite per litre is added to complete the process, which is inexpensive. A BERLIN firm is responsible for the novel ap- plication of the flexible shaft. In a small pleasure boat the power generated by a naphtha engine is communicated to the propeller by means of a flexible shaft which passes through a curved steel tube lead- ing over the stern of the boat. This curved tube, besides carrying the propeller at its end, is also fitted with a rudder, and is moved by a tiller. The whole apparatus, it is said, can be quickly fitted to any small pleasure boat. M. MOISSAN, the well-known French chemist, found recently that hydrofluoric acid, dried by pass- ing over phosphoric anhydride, did not attack glass. It was, in fact, transformed into oxyfluoride of phos- phorus, and he now finds that dry hydrofluoric acid does attack glass at ordinary temperatures. The gas fluor, however, when pure does not attack glass at ordinary temperatures. Tubes not well cleaned are attacked by it, for the gas forms fluorhydric acid with the organic matter. THE Holland submarine boat was tested recently at Greenport by the Board of Survey and Inspection of the U.S. Navy Department. The test was made in water 20ft. deep. The run of one measured mile, submerged 10ft. below the surface, was made in nine minutes the Holland then rose, discharged a White- head torpedo, and disappeared in ten seconds. The torpedo, weighed 8401b., and was discharged from the bow tube, and at a range of 400ft. it passed within 25ft. of the target flag the torpedo had no war-head, and travelled 800ft. The Holland then turned under water in one and a half times her own length of 54ft. IT appears from a detailed article in Engineering that the British display at the Paris International Exhibition next year will be quite unworthy of the manufacturing power of this country. This is a matter for deep regret, says Nature, especially as our chief competitors are arranging for exhibits on a very large scale. The German display will be of the first mag- nitude. Thus the German exhibit in the group of appliances and general processes relating to literature science, and art, will be contained in a separate pavilion, the contents of which will be valued be- tween three and four million marks. In the group devoted to decoration of buildings, furniture, &c., the value of exhibits is estimated at 9160,000 and a similar value is set on Germany's electrical exhibits. FROM Mr. Edward Allen Fay's work on Marriages of the Deaf in America," it appears that these marriages are more common in America than in Europe,, and they have increased at a high rate of progression during the present century. Statistics show that marriages of deaf persons, one or both of the partners being deaf, are far more reliable to result in deaf offspring-than ordinary marriages. The proportion of deaf marriages resulting in deaf offspring is 9*7 per cent, and the proportion of deaf children born thereform is 86 per cent. Accurate data,as to the proportion of deaf children ^orn of ordinary marriages are not easily Obtainable, but that proportion is probably less than I;lo per cent. On the other hand; marriages of the deaf are far more likely to result in hearing offspring, the proportion Rearing children being 75 per cent. These, roqults are in accordance with the two laws of heredity: (1) a physical *Romaky tends to be transmitted to the offspring, and (2) that offspring tend to revert to the normal type. There is a greater liability to dept offspring of, marriages of the congeni- deaf, since congenital or innate characteristics pro far more likely tp be, transmitted than are so- quired characteristics. THE tenacity of life in seeds is remarkable. When the steamer Labrador was wrecked it carried several barrels of apples. These were emptied by the action of the water or by striking the tocks, and the apples came ashore in considerable quantities, but too much bruised to be of any great benefit as food. Good is coming in another way, from the wreck, for just above high water mark were found thousands of little apple trees growing from the seeds of these apples. The people along the shores have trans- planted the small trees and generations hence there will be many barrels of apples from the result of one shipwreck. This shows the immense vitality there is in seeds. It seems as if nature were most unwilling to let anything pass out without leavingasomething to live in its stead. IT is stated that the power houses which are either being planned or built for the three largest railway systems in New York, when completed, will each greatly exceed any other aggregation of motive power in the world. The first of these to be com- Sleted will be the central station of the Metropolitan" treet Railway Company, with af total capacity of 70,000-horse power, and following this will be an 80,000-horse power station for the electrical opera- tion of the system of the Manhattan Elevated Rail- way, and an even larger station, with a reported maximum capacity of 100,000-horse power, for operat- ing the electric roads of the Third Avenue Railway Company. I

ADELINS OOOIITK8S SCHIMMELMANN, who goes around the world in her yacht Duen on her self-imposed task of relieving misery, is taking a rest in the Hotel Majestic, New York. This on the authority of the New York Journal. Her long labours with the poor. of Chicago and Detroit, followed with the fatiguing voyage over the Great Lakes and through the Erie Canal, have broken down the health of the Countess, and her physibian has advised her to begin no work until her health is restored. Interviewed as to her work, the Countess said she had fed more than 50,000 poor Persons since she went to America. The Countess spoke of her early life in the Court at Berlin. For 18 years, from the time she was li years old, she was the favourite and companion oi the Empress Augusta. Then she became a Christian, and began her work among the poor and friendless. Her brother and relatives thought she had lost her mind, and had her locked up in a private asylum. She. released through the efforts of her adooted son, Pani. I

FUN AXD FANCY. is this the first time you have experienced the sensation of lqve?" she asked. "It is," he re- piiod. "Am I the first girl yoa ever told you I,- ?" "h" persisted. He hesitited. What might 110 have come to her ear? You must remember,' lie zitid at last, how easy it is for the ignorant and uninitiated to accept a base imitation for the real thing." CONSIDERING their shady reputations, parasols are likely to be overrated. NKVKR doubt a girl's word when she says she can't øin! It's ten to one she is telling the truth. A LADY who had quarrelled with her bald-headed lover, said, in dismissing him What is delightful about you, my friend, is that I have not the trouble of sending you back any locks of hair." I IUVK come, sir," said the foreigner of title to the wealthy soap boiler, to ask for the hand of your daughter." "Which one?" asked the millionaire. I have three." It is immaterial," answered the nobleman, magnanimously. They might draw lots for me." "YES," remarked the globe-trotter. I've been everywhere, seen many queer sights, and had lots of fun. but I've also been in a good many tight places.' While I've never travelled much," rejoined his eojnpanion, I've had some gay old times, been tight in a good many places, and have incidentally SOOfisome mighty queer things." "POOR Emma," said Maybelle. "What's ths matter with Emma ?" demanded Kathryn. She has such an unfortunate name. It has to be spelt in the same old way that has been familiar for generations." You haven't had a letter from her recently, I c&n tell. She signs her name E-m-m-a-h." WOMEN in politics are about as graceful as hens in swimming. A GIRL is all right until she gets womanish, and a woman is all right until she gets girlish. TOM What are the relations between you and Mies Van Dyke nowadays ?" Jack (gloomily): Her father and mother." j SOME people growl at everything | In this old world, but, pshaw! | In spite of what they say, 'tis still j The best they ever saw. "I TELL you," Mr. Billus was øaying, "there is nothing like a bunch of keys to develop one's memory. Now, I have 27 keys on this ring, and I add a new one every few days, yet I am never at a moment's loss to select the right one when I have occasion to use it." What have you got that brass button strung on there for ?" Um, that was put there by my wife a day or two ago to remind me of some trifling thing I was to get for hor, but I've for- gotten what it was." THE circus tent gets over lots of ground and is bound to spread. Too many people resemble a ball of twine-they are completely wrapped up in themselves. "How did you and George get along at the sea- side ?" asked her best friend. "Swimmingly," was the reply. "I WOULD lay down my life for you," he protested. The orphan girl looked wistfully into his eyes. But when it comes to laying up anything, you're not there." she exclaimed, sadly. I DON'T you wish," he asked, looking soulfully into her eyes, "that the tunnel on this line was ten times as !G;;?" No," she answered. It struck him like a dash of cold water in the face. Instantly it dawned upon him that she no longer loved him. They always light the lamps when coming to the long tunnels," she added, and they don't for the short ones." Then he was happy once mere. His own education had been none too liberal, and it was a source of congratulation to him that his future wife had acquired her education within the classic precincts of Girton CollegCl. And when he came to her home that evening it filled him with in- expressible delight to gaze upon her splendid beauty, her queenly carriage, her finished manners. As the hours wore away, however, there came upon him the disagreeable impression that her bearing was less cordial than usual. In time the impression grew to be a settled conviction. There was no mistake about it. She was cold and haughty. Tortured to despe- ration. he spoke at last. Tell me," he passionately exclaimed, "why this sudden change?" Her lips curled with scorn. If you were a gentleman," she icily declared, "you would not need to in- quire." The words came like crushing blows to his agitated being. "May I ask you to explain ?" He was pale and his voice was husky. Certainly." Gliding across the room, she parted the window-curtains and gazed gloomily forth into the darkness. The moment you came in," she pro- ceeded, with a perfect calmness that betrayed the deepest feeling, I detected at once the odour of tobacco about your clothes." In an instant he was on his knees at her feet. Forgive me, dearest," he pleaded. I did not know that you objected to She waved her band grandly, and she never leetned more beautiful than in this, the moment of her wrath. Even now," she exclaimed, "I am certain you have cigarettes about your person. Is it not so ?" The suppliant groaned. It is true," he faltered; but if you say the word I will never smoke again." The stately girl laughed ironically. Oh, never mind," she sneered in mock levity. But I 1 wish to say that I don't want to have anything to do with a fellow who will sit in a lady's company all the evening and never offer her a cigarette, though he baa a pocketful of them." DOLLY: My cheeks are all on fire." Her Bad Friend: I thought I smelt burning paint!" TWAS the sweetest story ever told In a hammock, and no doubt They together clung so closely Lest there be a falling out. Wx make our own ice-cream," said the restaurant proprietor." Consequently we know just what it contains." "You do," replied the patron, "but I don't." TOM Why do the young mfcn all treat Jane so rudely ?" Jim The story got out that Jane said that the first man who suited her she'd propose to him on the spot." VAN CKOVE What has become of Oldboy f De Caverly: Sailed for America three days ago." Van Clove: Is that so}? Then it's safe to say he's half seas over by this time." A MINISTER of a rural parish in Scotland observed one of his flock shootingabare on the Sunday. When catechising day came round he questioned him as follows: John, do you know what a work of necessity is ? Fine that," said John. Well, do you think shooting a hare on a Sunday a work of necessity? "It is that," said John. How do you make that ouU. Weel, ye see, it micht be awa' on Monday," was John's reply. PENlGLOPE:" I hear that you became czgaged to him the second time you saw him." Clara: Yes; but I assure you that I was not to blame for the delay." MAGISTRATIC: I'll give you another trial." Magis- trate (to same person next morning): What are you here for now ? Pearly Satn I 'specs I'se here to get dat udder trial." A COLLEGE professor encouraged his geology class to collect specimens, and one day they deposited a piece of brick, streaked and stained, with their col- lection, thinking to impose upon the doctor. Taking up the specimens, the professor remarked This is j a piece of baryta from the Cheshire mines." Hold- ing up another, This is a piece of feldspar from the Portland quarries. And this," coming to the brick, is a piece of impudence from some member the MAUD And you're sure you want me for myself, | Dick ?" Dick:" No, for myself. | | AN old bachelor says there is but one thing sweeter than love's young dream, and that is to wake up and find yourself still single. HUSBAND My dear, these trousers are frayed at the bottom." Wife: They are the best you've got, John, except your dress trousers." Husband: "Well, give those to me. I have an important interview to- day in which I expect to be at different times prond, haughty, indifferent, dignified, and perhaps a triBe disdainful. A man can't be all that successfully with a fringe on the bottom of his trousers." "YES, when Willie grows up we intend to get him a commission in the army." Which branch of the service ?" Fh ?" "Which branch of the service —infantry?" "No, cavalry, 1 think. Ut looks iust beautiful on his rocking-horse." i

AMERICAN HUMOCTPu JOSII BSLLINGS wrote: The strongest pashun ofihff fPInsle halte iz to pleaze sumboddy and be admired in return for it. Thare iz one witness who always swares to the truth, and no one kan suborn or impeach it, and that iz. a man's conshience. The eazyest way to git thru this world iz to bustla t hru it. Don't expekt mutch in this world and then, if yu don't git mutch, you'll think it's all right. Thoze who read every book they can get hold of, swallowing them whole, kontrakt a literary dispepshea which is hard to ktire. Dandys are a quick studdy after you hare looked one over for a minnitt, yu bar got the size ov the whole ov them. He who works for the public haz a thousand masters, each one ov which insists upon being served in a different way. The more we kno, the less positive we bekum. It iz only the phools who never have ennv doubts. A man had better do anything that is honest, than be idle. Modest men may not allways be courageous, but courageous men are allways modest. Nothing to hope for iz the saddest condishun or life. What a woman dares to think she dares to do. I notiss one thing: The thorns on a bush allways outlast the fruit of the flowers. 50thing in life imparts such exquisite delite az the suckcess of our children. It iz time enuff for a man to laff at hiz own wit after others git thru. It iz necessary that majoritys should rule; bat t that is no posative evidence that they are right. "SILAS THTTTITT, you quit starin' thet critter outer countenance, an' pay attention to me," she said. Thet's what I've been doin' fer 'most three year, Mirandy," observed Mr. Trufitt mildly, bringing his f eyes back from the cow he was admiring. Now you've asked me 'to marry you 'bout a dozen times. Haven't you f" she continued. Fifteen—countan* this," corrected Silas. "An' I've allers stood you off, ain't I, Silas?" she asked. Well, yes, Mirandy, you have—exceptin' the times the old man kicked me out." assented Silas. Well, I was just goin' to say, Silas, thet seein' you was so anxious- she continued with a coquettish little hesitancy. Now, Mirandy, don't be hasty; don't be too hasty," inter- rupted Silas, uneasily. See here, you Siks Trufitt, do you want'to marry me, or don't you?" she de- inanded with natural asperity. Well, I denim, Mirandy; I dunno," replied Silas, chewing thought- fully on a straw. I've got a chanst to work fer a man up to Smithville, an' I was kinder calcutin'- You was, was you ? Well, what'd you ask me to marry you fer, then ?" she asked with some dired, ness. Why, I dunno, Mirandy, less it was kinder a habit I've fell inter," said Silas, slowly. Yon can just fall onter it, then," she snapped, banging the door after her as she fled into the house. Now, ain't thet jest like a woman," Silas ruminated. They can't never make no allowance fer a man, but think he's sure in earnest if he shows them the least little bit of attention." Mas. Himi; Pitcy. You heartless wretch my con- tempt for you is too deep for words." Hen peck: Thank goodness for that!" THIS is a nobby suit, sir," said the tailor. I put all the latest wrinkles in it." Yes," remarked the customer, surveying himself in the glass but don't you think it would have been better had you dis- tributed them. I don't care about having 'em all in the middle of my back." A CERTAIN doctor bad occasion, when only a begin- ner in the medical profession, to attend a trial as a witness. The opposing counsel, in cross-examining the young physician, made several sarcastic remarks, doubting the ability of so young a man to understand his business. Finally he asked: "Do you know the symptoms of concussion of the brain P" I do," replied the doctor. Well," continued the attorney, suppose my learned friend, Mr. Baging, and myself were to bang our heads together, should we get oon- cussion of the brain?" Your learned friend, Mr. Baging might," said the doctor. DID Dolly ever get due revenge on Molly for stealing her lover ?" Oh, yes." How did she manage it ? Cut the girl on the golf links, or black- ball her at the sewing circle?" Neither. Sheasked her to go driving and took her in the teeth of a sharp wind six miles. Then she took her back with her nose all red, to meet the fickle lover at tea; and since then he's been trying to win back Dolly." MISTRESS I am surprised. You say you were married six months ago, divorced three months ago, and remarried to your husband last night." Domestic: Yes'm. You see, at the first place he had they wanted a married man, so we got married; but the next place they wanted a single man, so we got divorced, and I came here. Now he's found a place where they want a man for gardening and wife to cook, so we got married again, and I'm going there with him." FIRST ENGLISH SPARROW: "The legislatures are offering rewards for our heads. Aren't you scared r Second English Sparrow: Ne, I shan't worry until they call ns game and pass laws to protect us." MRS. BLINKS The paper says a Western woman has a baby that has never cried in its life." Mr. Blinks By Jove I wonder how shell trade." MRS. CABBY and Mrs. Murphy met in a street car and were discussing family affairs. And how many children have you, Mrs. Murphy ?" Foive. Two livin', two dead, and wan in Philadelphy." WHAT is that blue streak in the air ?" Crimson- beak: Oh, that's the Colonel talking to the man in the gas office over the wireless telegraph." LADY: I think you are the worst looking tramp I ever saw." Tramp: Ma'am. it's only in the pre- sence of uncommon beauty I looks so bad. Lady: Bridget, give this poor man something to eat." TOMKWELL It's a wise man who knows when he is-well off." Page Yes ?" Tomewell: "Jackard told me that everybody was talking about my new book." Page: And what then ?" Tomewell: I was foolish enough to ask what they said." THAT curioeity, fully indulged, is liable to prove expensive is a lesson that has just been thoroughly learned by a oertain American medical gentleman. In the matter of spiritual manifestation ne has always been a stiff necked and unregenerate doubter. As a child he scoffed at ghost stories, and when he grew up the spectre world became a mark for his marry quips ana sarcastic jests. Despite this he numbers among his friends many of those who believe in the existence of shades, and they never neglect an oppor- tunity to hurl arguments at his bead which may tend to bring him over to the ranks of the elect. Finally, about two weeks ago, the doctor responded to the ex- tent of promising to do a little investigating on his own account. He bad never gone to a materialising seance, and was anxious to see what one was like, so he put a quiet little 'advertisement in a daily paper, stating that an unbeliever would like to engap a reputable medium for test manifestations. At eight o'olock on the evening in question a little party of eight personal friends sat with eiasped hands in the doctor's drawing-room and stared anxiously in the direction of the black cloth cabinet, which was faintly outlined in the gloom. A. Esle young man, accompanied by an obese female, ad answered the doubter, and gaarsateed to pro- duce a very fine line of departed spirits for a good round sum. For over three-quarters of an hour visitors from the other world kept dropping into the doctor's drawing-room, sailing round his rather nervous guests, and departing. Then there was a long and dreary wait, which was ended by the up- turning of the gas- The pale young man and the obese female had vanished as completely as the spectres they had been supplying. Their cabinet re- mained, and with it a small bag SUed with white crepe. 1° next minutes two purses, a watch, »na four soarf-pins were discovered to be missing. The evening s entertainment cost the doctor very heavily, and his disbelief in spirits is now something rabid. The police were not ILL bet a thousand," shouted the excited poll- tician, that the editor had no proofs of those damaging stories he published against the boea." ni go you," retorted the little man with a higlt forehead and two pairs of glasses." He bad the proofs and went through them word for word, and O..Jr.'ct the revise." "Who in thunder an you?" proof-reader." i t.

GREATER BRITAIN. GENERAL SIR WILLIAM LOCKHART, Commander-in- Chief, has proceeded on a tour through Burma. The famine outlook is gloomy. The numbers on relief works and in receipt of aid are steadily rising. It is estimated that the scarcity will cost the Government two crores of rupees up to the end of March. Relief measures are all working smoothly, and inquiries prove that ample grain stocks exist in India, THE Indian National Congress is to be held this year at Lucknow, and the loading Mahomedans have repudiated it in advance. According to the Calcutta correspondent of the Times, they have held a meeting and passed resolutions getting forth that the Congress is a mischievous institution, provoking discontent, and hindering the progress of the country. The resolutions undoubtedly embody the best native opinion in India, and not of Mahomedans alone. It is only in England that people with any pretensions to be listened to are inclined to take the Congress seriously. INDIA has perhaps a greater variety of plants than any other country in the world, having 15,000 native species, while the flora of the entire Continent of Europe only embraces about 10,000. ANOTHER expedition is to be sent to the Australian interior with the object of tracing, if possible, the fate of Ludwig Leichardt and his companions, who travelled inland from Brisbane over 50 years ago and were never heard of again. Vague reports have come in from time to time of stories told by the blacks about white men living among them, and of scientific instruments and collections lying hidden in caves, but nothing tangible has ever been found. About 25 years ago there was a white man living with a tribe out beyond the Warrego, whose description somewhat tallied with that of Classen, Leichardt's brother-in law, but when a party went out to rescue him he was found—like Emin-to have no desire to return to civilisation. In fact he craftily avoided his would-be rescuers, in which he was stubbornly assisted by the natives among whom he had made his home. In all probably he is dead now, in any event, the new expedition will have little to find in the shape of traces of the long-lost party. The German Consul in Sydney is connected with this fresh explor- ing project, and as good scientists are to be attached to the party, there ought to be some interesting re- sults in other directions. SIR Joiur ROBINSON, in continuing his South African Reminiscences" in the Cornhilt.Magazine, refers to Sir Garnet Wolseley's mission to reorganise the admistration of the Colony in 1875, remarking that whatever other results may have followed the Wolseley administrationi it certainly lifted the poli- tics of Natal to the higher and broader plane. It extended the political outlook of the Colonists, and made them feel that they belong to an empire as well as to a small bit of South Africa. It was an assur- ance to them that their interests were not wholly dis- regarded by the Mother Country. Though it left them, nominally, more of a Crown Colony' than they were before, it gave them an expressed hope of rising to a better state hereafter. The mission may be said, I think, to have marked the birth of a new era of Imperialism. If the present Commander-in- Chief of her Majesty's Forces ever looks back to that episode in his brilliant career he must perceive that it was coincident with the first ripple of the refluent tide. It was a demonstration of awakening feeling on the part of the home Government and the home people. After 40 years of apathy and indifference, both seemed at last aroused to a consciousness of Imperial interests and obligations. From that time onward there has been a quickening of Imperial vitality and growing recognition of Imperial duties. To South Africa Sir Garnet Wolseley's errand proved the preface of a whole volume of event- ful history. Wars, expeditions, controversies, negotia- tions crowd the record of the last quarter of a cen- tury, and as I write these words the most tremendous crisis that has yet menaced the country is impending, and a struggle fraught with incalculable issues to the Continent and the Empire seems inevitable." 1 IIE Grand Old Man of Australia, Sir Charles Nicholson, is 92 years of age. Graduating M.D. at Edinburgh when the Queen was a little girl in short frocks, Dr. Nicholson emigrated to Australia in 1834. He is now the solitary surviving member of the first Australian Parliament. Oxford made him a D.C.L. in recognition of his generous benefactions to the University of Sydney. THE Legislative Council of West Australia has re- jected the Federation Bill. Great indignation pre- vails throughout the Goldfields at this decision, and it is proposed to organise a movement for the separa- tion of the Goldfields portion of the Colony from the south-western portion, and the establishment of the Goldfields district as an individual Colony. A peti- tion has already been prepared, which is estimated to have had 40,000 signatures affixed to it, for presenta- tion to the Imperial Government praying for the for- mation of a new State, with admission into Federated Australia as an original State. Great enthusiasm is manifested throughout the Goldfields in favour of the separation movement, the feeling being entirely unanimous. ONE has to admit with shame that the Sydney Bulletin tells only the truth when it says that Aus- tralia has proved more loyal to Britain than Britain is to herself. In the British liouse of Commons, says the journal, 135 members out of 497 present— more than a fourth—voted that the Transvaal war was a gross injustice," deliberately fengineered by Rhodes and Chamberlain. In New South Wales the Transvaal war was approved by nearly 8 to 1, and the House sang the National Anthem in addition. Tasmania, Victoria, and Westralia also showed by their vote that they had a better opinion of Britain than Britain herself has. THE Hon. S. Å. Stephen read a paper at a meeting of the Royal Colonial Institute, in London the other night, on New South Wales, past and present." After referring to the progress of the colony, he referred to its capabilities and resources, describing them as boundless. The colony only wanted manage- ment, not to stagger humanity," but to astound the world. It required more people. He often wondered that the persons in England of cultured intellects, deep thought, and noble aspirations, had not devised some scheme whereby the superabundance of people in this country could with advantage to Great Britain and Australia be settled in the latter place, for no richer lands could be found, and no better results from working them. This country accepted the services of the New South Wales contingent which went to the Soudan; and the soldiers came back preud to have served for their Queen, and to have been brigaded with English soldiers. Again, un- happily, a war had been forced upon us; and all her Majesty's colonies offered their services. This sort of loyalty could not be passed over, and the offer was accepted. Every one of these men was a pure volun- tesr—glad to fight in the Mother Land's service, glad to support her flag. The difficulty had been not to and men, but how to select them from the large number who had volunteered; and those who have gone would be found worthy to fight side by side with the Imperial forces. Sprung from the same stock they would show equal pluck—the same powers of endurance. Their training fitted them for the work, and they would acquit themselves as men. MR. W. J. LYNx, Premier and Treasurer of New South Wales, delivered his financial statement in the Legislative Assembly the other evening. He regretted that he bad been given no opportunity of obtaining revenue from increased taxation. The balance carried forward by the late treastirerwas merely a ledger balance, unsupported by cash, and he had, therefore, been compelled to raise £ 70,000 from atampa te carry on business for the half-year. Based on the actual return, he estimated that the receipts would ahow an increaae of f.89,848 for the year over the late treasurer's estimates. The revenue receipts from June, 1895, amounted to £ 37,777,215, and the expenditure for the same period to 938,620,650. Other receipts amounting to EI,02,4,000 were made up by Treasury bills. For the last five months the revenue amounted to E3,926,670, and the expendi- ture to £ 4,140,150, the difference being caused mainly through debit balances of last year's expenditure. The suspense account created by the late treasurer amounted to EI,278,940, which was largely covered by votes. The balance includes the Estimates. In order to meet the outstanding loan appropriations of over £ 2,000,000 from the late Treasurer, and to provide for statutory redemptions maturing next July and otherwise cover the sums debited to the loan account to December, 1900, it was found necessary, owing to the state of the money market in consequence of the Transvaal difficulty, to issue short-dated treasury bills to the amount of £ 4,000,000. Pending this, the arrangements were concluded with the banks to make advances on London to the extent of RAW 000 at a similar rate of interest to that charged by the Bank of England. The rate of dis- eounfc was maximum 5 per cent. and minimum 3 per cent. The total loan expenditure up to June, 18)35, amounted to V.61,193,901, which had increased to £ 67.228,605 in October, 1899. Mr. Lyne said that every effort would be made to adhere only to the legitimate expenditure until the revenue was compensated with a prudent increased outlay. It was now, he said, only a short time before a great organic change under the Commonwealth Bill would take place, and he could not, therefore, introduce the fiscal question. He hoped with economy and a firm grasp of the treasury to show a decided credit in June next. Xe eetimated that the revenue for the year ending June, 1900, would amount to Eg,809,891, being E55,700 above the previous financial year estimate, and the expenditure of £ 10,029,000, including £ 30,000 for we Transvaal contingent. He intended to make up the difference by increased stamp and probate duties by E67,600 for the coming half-year, The statement was well received.

PO^PREE.^ „ .A1 1«or' sen' hes-t anil most valuable work on ATROPHY W fS f' with special chapters on the explanation of Vital ecret*, and the ceit.-un CURE OF Prostration, DEBILITY and DECAY. This work is Jf;rert,rmdem MATTERS, and treats in an exhaustive manner th« J >j>,i-t of 1.lie vano JH disease* which emanate from abuses of all kinds, as well as those which aiise tMvi)iip 11 no tauit ot the sufferer. A few of the ailments which the work treats of are i.uisti',1 ltnhty, ^perinatorroa'a. Youthful Imprudence, Lost Manhood, Premature Decav. spou.iency, Loss ot Lner^y, Weakness, Varicocele, Dimness of Sight, Brain Fag, Nervous- K S^ 1,L.ud.es on the Skin, Loss of Memory, Melancholy, Neises in the Ears, Liver Complainte. itQl'r, 1 )'Y ^key ips',an(1 ever-v form of disease peculiar to the Urinary Organs. It should be read by everyone, and will be found of inestimable value. Its compilation iltbe w;n (,>r'n.)anyyears experience^ the treatment of these diseases, and the author is sure that T ^founda c°mpletetreatise on these distressing ailments. Write for a copy to-day. ?R?E CHARGE. Address:—" Surgeon," 7 BristdTG«c2 £ Brighton, Sussex, England. Name this paper.