r" IMPERIAL PARLIAMENT. HOUSE OF LORDS.—Mabch 13. The Transvaal Mortgage Loan and Finance Com- pany Bill and the Surrey Commercial Docks Bill were read a second time. Cathcart's Divorce Bill was read a third time. HOUSE OF COMMONS. CHINESE QUESTIONS. Mr. Pritchard Morgan obtained leave to move the adjournment of the House in order to call attention to a matter of urgent importance- namely, the support given by her Majesty's repre- sentative at Pekin to the demands of Italy for a sphere of interest in China and for a naval base in Sammun Bay. He maintained that the policy of the Government in this matter was in con- travention of the resolution passed by the House on March 1, 1898, which affirmed that it was of vital importance that the independence of Chinese terri- tory should be maintained. In his opinion the de- mands of Italy, if granted, would encourage other countries to ask for similar concessions, and he asked where this partition of China would stop. He feared that if the Powers of Europe were all to become next-door neighbours in China jealousies and irritation would be aroused and dangerous con- sequences would follow. The expansion of trade and commerce in China could be secured without effecting the partition of that Empire. Sir E. Ashmead-Bartlett pointed out that as three European Powers had already obtained naval stations on the Chinese coasts with spheres of influ- ence or interest it would have been very difficult to oppose the wishes of Italy, one of our oldest allies. Mr. Brodrick ridiculed the notion that it was the business of the Government to prevent any other Power from establishing any interest in China. As to the action of Italy, it had been taken on her own initiative; but the Government had shown a friendly disposition towards her and would welcome the appearance ot Italy in the East. Nothing was more unwise than to travel beyond one's proper province, and the proper province of the British Government in regard to China was to safeguard the interests of Great Britain. As long as those interests were not threatened it was not desirable to stand in the way of friendly Powers anxious to safeguard their own interests. The Government wished well to Italy's negotiations, and, as far as they were concerned, were willing to support them by diplomatic means. Mr. Courtney was disappointed with the right hon. gentleman's speech, for he had hoped to hear that the Government were maintaining an attitude of strict neutrality. He looked upon the action of Italy as mos*. unfortunate, for her energies ought not to be dissipated by ambitious ventures abroad. Our attitude, he maintained, ought to have been one of non-interference. If Italy was to obtain a naval base in China, why should not Austria-Hungary, Holland, and other countries attempt to obtain similar advantages ? Was it, he asked, to our interest that China should become the prey of con- tending greed ? He warned the Government that b) the course which they were taking they might be precipitating that very dissolution of China which they dreaded. Sir E. Grey, referring to the resolution passed in March, 1898, remarked that the Government's acceptance of it, contrasted with their present support of Italy's demand, undoubtedly laid them open to a charge of inconsistency. But he took himself no exception to their present policy. Since the resolution of 1898 several spheres of interest had developed in China, and in the circumstances he did not see how the Government could possibly have adopted towards Italy the attitude described by the right hon. member for Bodmin. The fact was that it was now impossible for us to stand aside and to have no inter-communication with other Powers. Such isolation was not possible, and what ought to be done was to keep in constant touch with the other countries interested in the Far East, for if that con- stant touch were not maintained the Powers, between whom friendly relations ought to be preserved, would run the risk of drifting apart. Captain Bethell doubted whether the Government were right in assisting Italy, even though that assist- ance had been exclusively diplomatic. It would have been better to stand aside and to allow Italy to fight her own battles, it being his view that it was an unsound policy to make any arrangements with other Powers which might pave the way for the partition of China. Mr. Gibson Bowles regretted that European countries should be gnawing coaling stations out of China, but recognised that the Government could not put difficulties in Italy's way. Mr. Bryn Roberts and Mr. Marks also spoke, and The motion was negatived without a division. ARMY ESTIMATES. Mr. Balfour moved a resolution giving Govern- ment business precedence on Tuesday, and took the opportunity to explain the circumstances under which the Army Estimates were not proceeded with on Friday of last week. He also stated as a reason for encroaching on private members' time that the first reading of the Consolidated Fund Bill must be obtained on the 21st inst. and read a third time on the 24th. It was therefore necessary to make sub- stantial progress with Supply. Sir R. Campbell-Bannerman characterised the right hon. gentleman's resolution as quite unjustifi- able, and reminded him that the first members' motion down for discussion to-day was one of great interest, being concerned with the reports of the Roval Commission on Tuberculosis. Mr. Channing complained that several hours were wasted on the preceding Friday, and after some con- versation. in which Sir W. Foster, Sir J. Lubbock, Mr. Hobhouse, and Mr. Courtney took part, Mr. Buchanan moved an amendment limiting the operation or Mr. Balfour's motion to Vote 1 for the army. Mr. Balfour could not accept the amendment, but undertook not to ask on Tuesday for more than Vote I and the three non-effective army votes. After some further discussion, the amendment was negatived without a division, and then the motion was carried by 222 votes to 118. NAVY ESTIMATES. The adjourned debate on the motion for going into Committee of Supply on the Navy Estimates was resumed by Sir U. Kay-Shuttleworth, who expressed the regret felt in all quarters of the House at the absence of the First Lord of the Admiralty. Alluding to the eolossal growth of the expenditure on the navy, he asked whether means might not be found to check it either by some change of policy and of administra- tion or by agreement with other Powers. Referring to the Czar's proposal for a conference, he said that if the Government should fail to offer every assistance in promoting the objects of the Emperor the country would be of opinion that a great opportunity had been lost. Criticising Mr. Goschen's speech on introducing the Estimates, he claimed that credit was due to more than one Board of Admiralty for the present efficient state of the Navy. It was very gratifying that in the autumn there was no need for a vote of credit or for any special efforts. It was right, however, to recognise that a great burden had been imposed upon the Admiralty, and to guard against any possible breakdown of administrative machinery in that growing and unwieldly department some attention should be paid to internal organisation. Examining the programme of new construction, and comparing it with that of France, he commented on the com- parative slowness of construction in that country, and pointed out that this gave us a great advantage. France was now building battleships with less vigour than formerly, having arrived at the conclusion that in the race of construction she could not profitably persevere. As far as battleships were concerned, he thought we had good reason to be satisfied with our strength, and he doubted whether there were adequate grounds to justify an increase in the number of these vessels. Sir J. Colomb hoped the Government would not base their action at the Peace Conference on the supposition that the only combination we might have to meet would be one of two Powers. If all the other Powers of the world were to agree to modify their naval programmes-then, but not till then, ought we to consent to modify ours. Referring to the contribution to the navy from the Cape, he expressed regret that the First Lord of the Admiralty had omitted to notice in his speech the very im- portant subject of the relations of the colonies to the navy. Mr. Kearley urged the Government to take measures to increase the numbers of the Naval Re- serve, and the discussion was continued by Mr. Gibson Bowles, Sir J. Baker, Admiral Field, and other members. Sir C. Dilke insisted that if any reduction of ex- penditure should ever become necessary there ought to be no economy at the expense of the navy; Mr. W. Allan said it had pained him to hear the late Secretary to the Admiralty practically condemn the ogramme of the Government; and Mr. Arnold- frogramme of the Government; and Mr. Arnold- Forster referred to the enormous improvement of the navy in recent years, and paid a sincere tribute to the present Board of Admiralty for its good work. Mr. Macartney expressed gratification at the J almost unanimous approval which had been extended to the naval programme, which, he assured the House, was based on grounds of necessity. To those who thought that the Estimates were too large he pointed out that it was not possible to regard" only the rate of naval construction in France. Other countries had to be borne in mind as well, and the proposals of the Government with regard to battle- ships were founded upon their knowledge of the intentions of other Powers. Explaining the references øf the First Lord to the disarmament conference, he Raid the right hon. gentleman, while he attached I great importance to that conference, would not lose ..ight of the fact that the conditions and responsi- bilities of the naval service of the country were very different from those which the navies of other countries were designed to meet. Having replied to questions which had been put to him with reference to the supply of armour, the appointments of lieu- tenants, the naval reserve, and other matters, he appealed to the House to consent to go into Com- mittee. Mr. Channing warned the Government that pro- vocation programmes were dangerous. The House then went into Committee, and on the vote fixing the number of men and boys for the navy at 110,640, rr. Labouchere. who was supported by Mr. Dillon. moved to reduce the vote by 4000 men as a protest against the growth of our naval expenditure. Mr. Balfour, replying to an observation made by Mr. Dillon to the effect that the intentions of the Government appeared to be to render the navy capable of meeting a combination of any six Powers, declared that no Government would ever commit itself to such an insane policy. The pro- gramme now before the country was in accordance with the accepted principle that the naval strength of Great Britain should be such as to enable her to meet a combination of two Powers. The amendment having been rejected by 147votesto 19. progress was reported. The report of the resolutions passed in Committee of Supply on March 10 was agreed to.
THE SOUDAN. SIRDAR TO MAKE A TOUR OF INSPECTION. Major-General Macdonald, Colonel Walter, Col. Keith Falconer, and Captain North are returning from Oindurrnan, and will arrive in Cairo shortly on their way to England. Colonel Walter and Captain North have resigned their posts in the Egyptian Ar::i V. The following official notification was issued on Saturday "The Sirdar recently proceeded to Duem. on the White Nile, on a tour of inspection, and has now returned to Omdurman. He proposes shortlyi to make anextended tour in the Eastern Soudan, visit ng Gedaref. Kassala, and Souakim. Ttio Khalifa's forces are reported to be still in the neighbourhood of Sherkeleh, and, with a view 10 preventing contraband trade between his camp at Kordofan and the neighbourhood of the Abba Island a squadron of cavalry has been despatched from Omdurman up the right bank of the White Nile. I learn (says the Daily Telegraph's war correspon- dent at Cairo) from an Egyptian, and a Greek called Pandelli, who served with the Mahdi and the Khalifa as doctors, that the Mahdi died after four days' illness from typhoid fever. The Khalifa has contracted leprosy. So far the disease has not made much progress, but the nails have all fallen from his toes, and the marks over his eyebrows are con- spicuous. Latterly be had taken to wearing a veil. It is said that the malady was caught a few years ago through the Khalifa taking the wife of Faded Abad. a black Emir and leper, who has since died. KHALIFAS MEN DESERTING. The lady who was formerly known as Sister Theresa Grigoline, and who, as a. prisoner atmong the dervishes, suffered terrible cruelties, is ;no^r in Cairo. The following- official announcement has been issued: News has reached Omdurman from the White Nile that the Khalifa's men are desertinghim inlarge numbers. The dervishes raided some camels 'north 6f Duem, but the natives pursued the raiders'ami re- captured the camels." —
DEATH OF LADY RIDLEY. With deep regret we have to announce that the I Hon. Lady Ridley, wife of the Right Hon. Sir Matthew White Ridley, the Home Secretary, died at I her London residence, 10, Carlton House-terrace, at an early hour on Tuesday morning. A fortnight ago she was seized with influenza, which brought on severe pneumonic complications, and, notwith- standing all the skill of her medical attendants, she passed away, peacefully amid the sorrow of her own family and to the grief of a large circle of friends, by whom she was not only esteemed but beloved. Lady Ridley was the eldest daughter of the first Lord Tweedmouth, and sister of the present peer, and was married to Sir Matthew White Ridley in 1873, four years before he succeeded his father in the baronetcy. At Blagdon, their beautiful I place in Northum berland, Lady Ridley was not only a charming hostess, but was beloved in a marked degree by the tenantry on her husband's estates there, and in every good work for the amelioration of the poor she always took a leading part. In London society she was no less popular. Her distinguished presence and win- ning manners made her universally welcome, while her parties and receptions in her splendid residence on Carlton House-terrace were always prominent and notable events during the season. Her unexpected death will come as a great blow to the Home Secre- tary. Never were husband and wife found more entirely devoted to each other or more mutu- ally helpful. In all his political campaigns in North Northumberland, when he was the colleague of Earl Percy, now Duke of Northum- berland, and for the Blackpool Division of Lancashire, Lady ^Ridley was his untiring com- panion, encouraging him under reverse, and working indefatigably for his success, while, on the other hand, she made his domestic surroundings a model of English home life. Lady Ridley suffered a great shock about two years ago by the death of her eldest daughter, an amiable and accomplished young lady, who was beloved by her family. Miss Ridley became ill while in church, and was carried home, where she died very shortly afterwards. The Hon. Lady Ridley will be deeply mourned by all who knew her. She leave51 two sons and three daughters. The eldest son, Mr. Matthew White Ridley, who is a lieutenant in the Northumberland Hussars, married only a few weeks ago the Hon. Rosamond Guest, youngest daughter of Lord and Lady Wimbourne, and the young couple were Q-t Cairo on their honey- moon when Lady Ridley fell ill. Mr. Ridley is hurrying home, and is expected in town to-morrow, but the Hon. Mrs. Ridley has unfortunately con- tracted influenza in the Egyptian capital, and has been compelled to postpone the journey for the present.
MR. HOOLEY STILL ILL. On Tuesday, before Mr. Justice Wright, sitting in Bankruptcy, the case of E. T. Hooley came on for hearing in connection with various proofs which had been tendered by creditors rejected by Mr. Basden, the trustee under the bankruptcy. The parties affected by the decision of the trustee were Commerce (Limited), the United Ordnance and Engineering Co., and Messrs. Jurado, and others. They appealed against the rejection of their proofs. But Mr. T. Serrington, on behalf of the trustees, now applied for a postponement of the hearing upon the ground that Mr. Hooley was a mate- rial witness and was too ill to attend. Mr. Justice Wright said that Dr. White by a cer- tificate, dated the 10th inst., certified that in his opinion Mr. Hooley was not in a fit condition to come to London the following week or to transact any business whatever. The matter stood over until later in the day for Dr. White to be communicated with. On the matter being subsequently mentioned, it transpired from a telegram received from Dr. White that the bankrupt was suffering from nervous pros- ii tration and insomnia, and, in the circumstances, the hearing of the motions stood over till April 17. PEERS IN THE BANKRUPTCY CASE. On Tuesday Mr. Justice Wright refused the trustee's application to cross-examine Earl Albermarle and Earl de la Warr upon the undertaking given by them in Mr. Hooley's bankruptcy.
DEATH OF SIR JULIUS VOGEL. Sir Julius Vogl, K.C.M.G., formerly Premier of New Zealand. died suddenly on Sunday night at his residence. Hillersden, East Molesey. Deceased was born in London in 1835, and went to Australia in 1852. afterwards travelling to New Zealand, where he established the^ first daily newspaper in the colony. On returning to England he unsuccessfully contested Penrhyn in the Conservative interest in 1880.
•J By the death of M. Fernand Xau, Paris log<$an able and accomplished journalist. He was the founder of the Journal, and during his compara- tively short life he had served on nearly an the more important boulevard papers. He may be satdr as far as the French Press is concerned, to have mvented the interview. He was exceedingly popular in Paris, and made many friends in London when he visited us in company with M. Zola in 1893. TUB German Emperor and Empress are to spend the month of April at Homburg, where ^hey will occupy the Royal Schloss. Why does the Kaiser always go to Homburg out of the season ? His grandfather, whose character he so much admires, extended very different treatment to Baden-Baden, which was his favourite spa. The old Emperor always visited Baden during the season. THE sealer Capella, from Goteborg, with a Norwe- gian crew, will, after sealing in the autumn, go to Fran Josefs Land to seek the Wellman Polar Expe- dition. and bring it home.
CURRENT SPORT. The popularity of hockey continues to increase, and Saturday's international match at the Old Deer Park, Richmond, was honoured by the presence of the Duke of York, who was accompanied by Prince Adolphus of Teck and the Earl of Chesterfield, the Hon. Derek Keppel being in attendance. England won the match by three goals to one, and their vic- tory was thoroughly well deserved. In the first half Ireland had rather the better of some very fast play, but after Andrews bad scored for them Solbe equalised and following change of ends there was no doubt as to England's superiority. P. R. Earn- shaw shot the other two goals. Throughout the play was very fast and full of interest. Forward the Irishmen were rather uncertain, but in defence they showed to great advantage. Early in the game the English forwards scarcely ever became reaUy dangerous, but their excellence ultimately prevailed over a very stubborn defence. There were 3000 spectators. In getting two such fine Association football sides as Queen's Park (Glasgow) and Aston Villa to com- pete at the Crystal Palace on Saturday for the Sheriff of London's Charity Shield the executive were for- tunate, for in spite of the big Rugby match at Black- heath there were some 20,000 spectators of the game. Perhaps the actual football itself was disappointing, for the skill of the sides was destroyed by the keen- ness for victory. However, the game was drawn, even though the playing hours were extended by 30 minutes beyond the usual time. There was, in fact, no scoring whatever, and the Shield will be again jointly held, as it was last year by Sheffield United and the Corinthians. The great thing in Saturday's football was the strong half-back play on both sides, and in this fact was to be found the secret for the breaking up of the forward combination. Aston Villa fell short of finish near goal and their weak shooting may be said to have I lost them the game. Aston Villa have indeed fallen away of late from the high standard of play which so long kept them at the head of the League. They were the more skilful, for although the Queen's Park forwards collectively possessed more pace, they were not so well together as their opponents. The Queen's Park back division worked very hard throughout; Gillespie early in the game made several miskicks, but improved later. During the last 15 minutes they were hard pressed, but Waller, who had had more work to do than George, kept goal splendidly, and it was chiefly due to him that Aston Villa were unable to score. Captain W. Simpson was the referee. Saturday's play in the Association Football League championship was made remarkable by the win of Liverpool over Preston North End, for with this success the Liverpool Club passed into the leading place in the competition. This position, however, may prove somewhat false, seeing that it left Liver- pool only one point ahead at a point at which they nad played two matches in excess of the Villa. Saturday's results: Notts County beat Sheffield Wednesday (1—0), Sheffield United beat Bolton Wanderers (3-1), Liverpool beat Preston North End (2-1), Burnley beat Derby Courty (2-1), Notts Forest beat Newcastle United (1—0), Black- burn Rovers beat Stoke (1—0), and Everton drew and Sunderland. In the Amateur Cup Competition semi-final round the Old Malvernians were beaten by Stockton (2-0), and Harwich and Parkeston beat Grimsby All Saints (2-1). Other results on Saturday were: London Cale- donians beat Richmond Association in the Middlesex Cup, and Old Etonians beat Old Wykehamists. As was expected, the Rugby match between England and Scotland, at Blackheath, produced a keenly-contested struggle, although, as a spectacle, the game was far below the England and Wales match at Swansea. It was felt that the English for- ward line had been strengthened as compared with the sides that had been beaten by Wales and Ireland, and this was proved to be a fact by the display of the pack on Saturday. In fact, had the Scots been willing to play the style of game which their oppo- nents adopted, it is possible that the fortunes of the day might have been reversed, for the Englishmen excelled in the tight scrummages, in which they showed much vigour, and occasionally screwed the adversaries off the ball. But in the loose rushes the Scots were infinitely superior; in fact, the home team could not play this game at all. Even the difference of playing eight men to seven, which was brought about by a strain to J. W. Simpson, the veteran Scottish half, early in the game, never allowed the losers to do more than hold their own in forward play. That England was terribly let down at half was a matter of general comment. Schwarz was good in defence, and once or twice did something to open the play; but for the most part the English three-quarters, for all purposes of attack, might as well have played without any halves at all. Rotherham was practically useless, 1 and is scarcely likely to be again included in the English team. It is true that capable half- backs are rare in London; but there are men in the provinces who are capable of holding their own, not only against Scottish, but even against Welsh halves. The Scottish back division was not superior, and probably not equal, to the English behind the half-back line, but they were given many more chances and it is surprising, con- sidering their performance against Wales, that they did not utilise them more fully. Scotland should have'scored on the run of the game about four times, yet they registered but one goal, and that from a try gained in a scramble. England's defence was the feature of the game, and Fookes and Stout ihone most therein. Bunting and Matters did enough to show that, with capable halves aud a fair opportunity, they would be an excellent centre three-quarter choice. Gamlin had a great deal of work, which he accomplished in capital style, and this match will go far to restore him to the position which his earliest performances this season marked out for him. With experience he should prove a back worthy to rank with our best. The Scottish forwards were all at times prominent, and all played a tremen- dously hard game, Morrison, M'Ewan, and Smith being perhaps best, the last-named, after Simpson's accident, doing Well at half. Gedge was a little dis- appointing. Monypenny did, perhaps, most and best work of the three-quarters; whilst Rottenbury, with a mistake or two, got well through the compara- tively smaM share of work which fell to his lot. Saturday's ties in the Midland Counties Rugby Cup Competition included the following: Old Ed- wardiaus beat Leicester Crusaders, Leicester beat Belgrave St. Peter's, Nuneaton beat Rugby, Coventry beat Birmingham Crusaders, and Moseley beat Stoney- gatej Gloucester won their Rugby match at Glou- cester by a goal and two tries to nothing. The Swansea team were successful in their match with Penarth by seven goals and four tries to nothing. On their own ground Northampton beat Portsmouth by two goals to two tries. The Rugby Football International Board, at a meeting on Saturday at Blackheath, decided that it was inadvisable to alter the half-back rule. It was agreed to appoint a Sub-Committee to settle case law, and to report before July, so that the decisions may come into force next season. In the Yorkshire section of the Rugby Northern Union, on Saturday, Bradford beat Huddersfield. Liversedge beat Bramley, Batley beat Brifhouse Rangers, Leeds Parish Church beat Wakefield < Trinity, Castleford beat Manningham, Halifax beat Holbeck, and Hunslet beat Heckmondwike. Broughtan Rangers in the Lancashire section bent Swinton, Oldham beat Wigan, Runcorn beat Stock- port, Widnes beat Warrington, and Rochdale Hor- nets beat St. Helens. Philosophy, proverbial or otherwise, has never been able to fathom the cunningness of the fox. The various ruses to which Reynard has resoited to various ruses to which Reynard has resoited to elude pursuit are innumerable. He has taken refuge in educational institutions during lesson hours, or hidden himself in chimneys, and even in cupboards; but few have seen him balancing himself over the ridge tile of the National school, as happened with the Whaddon Chase on Satur- day. Mr. Selby Lowndes had the pack trotted on to Howe-park, where they found, and ran a fox well by Bietchley and Newton Longuevillo almost to Solden, where they turned back to Howe- park, and, having driven him from the covert to the Bottle House, reached the village of Whaddon. where the incident occurred. Mr. Lowndes had hounds taken away, and by means of a ladder the varmint was dislodged. But he did not succeed in fetting out of the village before he was killed, [ounds were then taken on to Then bare Wood, where they found, and ran on to Whaddon Thrift. As ordered by the Association Football League Cotnmi ttee, the Aston Villa and Sheffield Wednes- day teams met at Olive-grove to play the ten and a-half minutes by which the game on November 26 last was curtailed. When play ceased Wednesday Were leading by three goals to one. On Monday another goal was added to the Sheffield score by Spikesley, so that the result is now a win for Shef- field Wednesday by four goals to one. After a League game a friendly of 35 minutes each way was played. Both teams were subjected to alterations, and up to half-time neither had scored, although several good opportunities were offend. Wednes- day had somewhat the best of a. listless second half, and Richards scoring twice in this portion of the game, Sheffield won a. poor game by two goals t.o one.
A DUCHESS'S AUTOGRAPH BOOK An article on the Duchess of St. Albans' Autograph Book in Pearspu's Magazine reproduces the^ follow- ing ri Lord Randolph Churchill is represented bv three words: Fait hful if unfortunate/ ). •- John Bright wrote In peace, sons bury their fathers, in wars fathers bury their sons.' Mr. Chamberlain'observed that: When reforms cease revolutions begin. Mr. Gladstone reminded the reader that: 'Our life is not merely the days that we live.' "The Duke of Clarence chose Shakespeare's lines: The evil that men do lives after them the good is oft interred with their bones.
NERO FIDDLES, ROME BURNS. The Russian military movements in Manchuria are causing increasing alarm. The Russiansaregradually augmenting their forces to the north of the gulf of Pe-chili, there being now 20,000 Russian soldiers within a day of Kirin. They are acting everywhere as though they were the owners of the country. The intrigues at the Imperial Palace at Peking have resulted in four princes of inferior rank being raised to the first rank, thus qualifying them to be liable to be chosen as Emppror, The designs of the Empress Dowager are supported by the majority of the Manchu Atinisters. but opposed by the Chinese, and especially by the Viceroys. This opposition is looked upon as the only thing causing the postponement of the firaal removal of the Emperor Kwang-Hsu.
COMMON-SENSE MOUNTAINEERING. Some amusing hints on Alpine deportment are given by Mr. Charles Pilkington, the out-going presi- dent, in the new number of the Alpine Club's journal. It is unsportsmanlike to allow the front party to do the arduous step-cutting and, when the road is made, to race past and reach the summit first. A little dis- play on the return from a big expedition is to be ex- cused in the novice. Nor do the onlookers' object to it, for it is a part of the picture which they expect to have thrown in gratis for their 10 francs a day. But to sit outside a hotel on an off day in ex- tremely rent and dirty garments which look as if another sense than that of sight might be offended by a near approach, especially when other clothes are available, is an unjustifiable and offensive piece of 3nobbery.
THE WOMEN'S INTERNATIONAL CONGRESS. The arrangements for the Women's Congress in June are going steadily forward. The Hospitality Committee, under the superintendence of Lady Roberts-Austen, has prepared a form, in which in- tending hostesses may notify the nationalities they prefer to entertain and specify the names of individual guests. On the 21st inst. a public meeting will be held at 125, Queen's-Gate, to explain the objects of the Congress, and there will be a similar one on May 3, at the Grosvenor Institute, at both of which the Countess of Aberdeen and Lady Battersea willspenk. The principal entertainments to be given are nearly decided upon. There will be evening re- ceptions at Stafford and Surrey Houses, Mrs. Creighton will give a garden party at Fulham, and Mrs. Leopold de Rothschild one atGunnersbury. Mrs. Moscheles will have an [At Home for artists and the Swanley College one for visitors interested in gardening as a profession for women. Mrs. Frederick Beer will entertain at 7, Chesterfield- gardens, and Mrs. Charles Handcock in Queen'f Gate. Mrs. Kendal has definitely agreed to take the chair at the session on the Drama. Miss Genevieve Ward will read the opening per, and Mrs. Beerbohm Tree will begin the discussion. A large number of distinguished ladies are appointed as delegates from different countries, including representatives of the medical profession from Russia, Servia, and Bosnia. The list of speakers will be published in another month. Among those ladies who will take the chair at the different meetings are Lady Aberdeen (presi- dent), Mrs. Creighton, Lady Battersea, the Hon. Mrs. Arthur Lyttelton, and Mrs. Sidney Webb. Of the £1ÓOO appealed for to meet the heavy expenses, about £500 has been subscribed.
WAGER BETWEEN STATESMEN. The bet made between M. Charles Dupuy, the Prime Minister, and Mr. Maurice Binder, Deputy, as to the probable date of the end of the Dreyfus case, may not have been forgotten. M. Dupuy bet that the decision of the Court of Cassation would be given by March 20, but the unforseen events of the past fortnight have considerably altered the situa- tion. M. Binder met M. Dupuy a few days ago in the Chamber and proposed an extension of time. M. Dupiiy has accepted 10 days' grace, so now the bet is that, the decision of the Court of Cassation will be delivered by March 30.
A FAMILY DRIVEN MAD. An extraordinary case of madness, in which all the members of a family, consisting of father, mother, and four children, were simultaneously aillcted. has occurred at Stavelot. According to the Brussels correspondent of the Morning Post, a party of strolling Gypsies who undertook to tell the father's fortune by means of cards, declared that he would be killed whileserving in the army, and this prediction so impressed him and his family that in the course of the sarTTe day they all developed signs of wavering reason, and before long had to be put under restraint. The Gypsies were arrested by the German police when crossing the frontier from Belgium.
A PRINCESS'S READING. In an article on the Emperor of Austria's grand- daughter in the Girl's Realm the writer says that both she and her mother have a great admiration for England and the English the Arch-Duchess Eliza- beth is very fond of reading English books, and takes a great interest in all the new books that appear in dur language. The literature, however that her Imperial Highness is allowed to read is very carefully chosen, and no books of a doubtful tendency are allowed in her library. Some of the first English books read by the young Princess were Miss Yonge's stories, which are regarded on the Continent with great approval.
AN IRONICAL SITUATION. We feel sure (says the Daily News) that all lovers of the famousi view from the top of Richmond-hill will hail with intense gratification the latest addition to its beauties, namely, the wooden model of the drinking fountain to the late Duchess of Teck, which hasijust been stuck up in the very eye of the land- scape. No memorial that we know of ever looked out upon so fair a prospect, standing as it does, upon the very edge of the hill, where none can miss it. We can,, indeed, imagine that some lovers of the picturesque will vote it an obstruction, a blot on the landscape, and so forth. If so, all we can sav is that they are very disloyal people.
IMAGINATION AND REALITY. One of the features of the Grahamstown Exhibi- tion was the excellent representation of a jungle, with all the jungle tenants in real life (atrffed), browsing on the veld and among the trees, while the lion and the leopard were,taking their usual constitutionalsjon the haunches of their prey. These strange sights have fired the imagination of many a gallant young colonial, and it is stated that some have set out for the fomantic town of Bulawayo, where giraffes and elephants are said to abound, and lions keep nightly vigil in te suburbs. Their disappointment (remarks Rhoba ") will doubtless be great when they arrive andfi nrt that Bulawayo is neither situated in a jungle, nor wild beasts the ordinary objects in view wher strolling around the outskirts.
THE Bishop of Bristol has received permission front the Queen to let it be known that her Majesty iakei an interest in the restoration of Malmesbury Abbey. It IS tended to undertake the restoration of the church now used for a. parish church, to make the ruined portions of the great, abbey church safe from decay, and, if it should seem advisable, and funds, are, fortbcaming" torebtJild the three westward bays of the nave, which, were almost entirely destroyed in the 16th century by the fall of the western tower. THE largest frozen meat factory in the world is at Barracas, a suburb of Buenos Ayres, and belongs to the Sansienena family. The establishment is capable of an output of 3500 sheepper diem, or 100,000 mutton carcases per month. The freezing-rooms have a capacity of nearly 100,000 cubic feet, and have hang- ing room for .jBOOO' sheep. The store-rooms in which the sheep are stowed after freezing to await ship- ment have a capacity of 150,000 cubic feet, and can contain upwards of sheep. ASSEMBLYMAN DAGGETT has introduced the follow- ing bill into the Wisconsin Legislature Resolved that, a committee be appointed consisting of three members to draft a bill to protect the health of the misses, old maids, and married women of the State of Wisconsin, by making a law to prohibit tight lacing." Mrs. Helen Barker, the president of the Women's Temperance Union, says that the trouble will begin when the police attempt to enforce such a law.
THE QUEEN'S JOURNEY. Favoured by "Queen's weather," her Majesty, accompanied by Princess Henry of Battenberg, the Duchess of York, and Princess Victoria of Schleswig-Holstein, left Windsor Castle on Satur- day morning en route for Cimiez. An enormous crowd gathered at Folkestone to witness her de- parture on the Channel packet Calais-Douvres, which, escorted by a flotilla of torpedo-boats and destroyers, reached Boulogne at half-past, three. The Queen was received by Admiral de Maigret, General Jeannerod. the Mayor, and a number of other representative officials, and was presented with a beautiful bouquet. Her Majesty, in ac- knowledging the gift, recalled her previous visit to Boulogne in 1855, and shortly afterwards entered the Royal train. A brief stoppage was made by the Queen's desire at Toulon, where her Majesty ex- pressed to the Prefect her deep sympathy with the inhabitants at the disaster which had recently over- taken them, and announced her intention of sending a subscription or. behalf of the sufferers. Nice was reached soon after four o'clock on Sunday afternoon, and the Queen received there, as throughout her journey, the most respectful and cordial salutations of the populace. From the station her Majesty drove at once to Cimiez.
TWICKENHAM TRAGEDY. I HORRIBLE SLAUGHTER OF A WHOLE FAMILY. A terrible domestic tragedy occurred on Saturday at the riverside town of Twickenham, the prepetrator being one of the most respected of local tradesmen. The scene of tjie tragedy is a small, house with a stonemason's yard behind in the Ricbmond-road just- outside the walls of Orleans House, and quite close to the far-famed Twickenham Ferry. It appears that Mr. Herbert Goodale, who carries on the business of a monumental stone mason in the Richmond-road, let his workmen in as usual at six o'clock on Saturday morning, and according to the state- ments of some of his men there was nothing unusual in his appearance or bearing, and he did not appear to be suffering from any excitemcnt. What happened after his letting the men in. no one knows, but it is surmised that he went direct to his bedroom where his wife and two children, aged three years and four weeks respectively, were asleep. He evidently attacked his wife first, and according to the description given of the room a desperate struggle must have ensued, for in addition to her throat being cut her arms were gashed, the bedclothes were all scattered about the room, and the walls and floors were covered with blood. After finishing with the wife it is presumed he turned his attention to the two children and then cut his own throat stand- (ing in front of the looking glass for the purpose. The strange part of the affair is that while the tragedy was being enacted inside the workmen out- side were going on with their occupations as usual and did not hear any sound. Mr. James Goodale. the father of Herbert, lives next door, «nd having some occasion to see him early went to his' son's door sometime between seven and eight o'clock. Not getting any answer to repeated knocking he became somewhat alarmed, and procuring a ladder, looked into the bedroom window. A dreadful sight awaited him. for be found the entire family lying dead. The father, who is now advanced in years, was terribly shocked, and at once sent off for the police and for a doctor. The latter soon arrived, and on making an entrance and examining the bodies pronounced all four dead. The murderer, who is about 36 years of age. has lived all his life in Twickenham, and bore a high character. He was a teetotaller and took a promi- nent part in Church affairs, and was greatly loved by his workmen, one of whom stated that they could not have a better master. No tangible motive can be advanced for the crime, and many theories are current. One of Goodale's workmen stated that his 1 master had lately been much worried; with business matters, he having undertaken more work than he could well carry out. and that he had stated that he would have to give up some of it. Mr. Ja nes Goodale, the father, says that he has no doubt that his son's mind had become unhinged through the effects of influenza, from which he suffered not long since, while another relative informed a reporter that as soon as he heard of the tragedy he put it down to religious mania, as for a long time Herbert Good- ale, in his opinion, had been somewhat peculiar in his manner. .———————.———————
KILLING HIS SWEETHEART. EXTRAORDINARY CRIME AT NORTHAMPTON. A terrible tragedy occurred in one of the suburbs of Northampton on Saturday morning, when a young woman named Lizzie Meadows, 25 years of age, was shot dead in the street by her lover, a young blacksmith, named Joseph Parker. Miss Meadows, who was a waitress at a iocal hotel, lived with her mother and sister at Semilong, a Northampton suburb, and was last seen alive at a quarter to twelve on Friday night of last week. She was then in the kitchen of their home in company with her sweetheart Parker. Parker appears to have been drinking, and it its thought that he remained at his sweetheart's for the night to sleep. Miss Meadows then called him early in the morning, so that he might go on to his work, and she appears to have gone out with him to accompany him on his way. The two were walking together when the young man suddenly pulled out from his coat pocket a small Derringer pistol and fired one shot at the head of his sweetheart, who staggered against the wall and then lay down and died. The bullet went through the girl's head, entering at the left ear and passing out on 'the other side. After firing the fatal shot Parker quietly placed the revolver in his pocket again and walked away. Going towards Northampton he met Police-constable Mar- low, of the Borough Police, and offered to give himself up. He was excited, but spoke clearly and intelligently. The constable was at first inclined to take no norice of the man's confession, but when Parker handed him the revolver, with one barrel discharged, the officer took him into custody, and charged him at the North- ampton Borough Police station. Later he was handed ovor to the county police. It has been since ascertained that Parker, who is either a blacksmith or a blacksmith's striker, bought the revolver at the shop of a gun- smith named Dickens in Bridge street, North- ampton. The gunsmith's assistant asked him if he knew how to handle firearms, and the prisoner replied that he had had a Derringer of a dangerous type. He had another pistol in his possession at the time, with a slightly damaged trigger, but loaded at the muzzle and Iiaving enough powder and shot in it to discharge ah ordinary gun. Parker asked to be allowed something in exchange for this damaged weapon, and the new pistol was therefore sold tohitn at less than its listed price. Parker, who lived at 20, WeSton-street, Bridge-street, is a strongly-built young marl of 24 years. When the prisoner was brought before the magis- trates at the Northampton Divisional Police-court the court was crowded with local resIdents, anxious to watch the proceedings. The accused man staggered into the court, and was unable to stand. A police-sergeant stood behind him as he took a seat in the dock to prevent him from falling. Pohee- superintendent, Webster (County Division) said that he only proposed to offer formal evidence to justify a remand. The sister of the deceased girl, Miss Fanny Meadows, of 73, Salisbury-street, Semilong, stated I that she saw her sister alive at a quarter to twelve on Fridav night of last week, when she went to bed. leaving Lizzie and her young man (the prisoner) downstairs together at the house in balisbury-streef. Witness said that she and her sister usually slept together, but on the night in question Lizzie did 'tot come up to bed. Inspector Hooper, of the Northampton County Police, said that on receiving the prisoner into custpdy from the Northampton Borough Police, he charged him with the wilful murder of Miss Lizzie Meadows by shooting her with a revolver. The prisoner's reply was Yes, I shot her. ] shot her twice, I think; but she did not fail to the ground. I assisted her down." Upon this evidence the magistrates ordered a remand for a week. THE INQUEST. The inquest on the victim was opened at the Duke of tork Hotel, Salisbury-street, Northampton, on Saturday evening. Evidence of identification was given by Miss Fannie Meadows. Police-constable Marlow proved arresting the prisoner. He said the latter told him he had shot his sweetheart, and added,. The girl wanted me to shoot her and myself. She wanted me to do it in the house. We went out into the street, and stood a few moments,. I lifted the revolver, pulled the trigger and shot her through 1he headw She fell to the ground, and I shot her in the head again." Witness then took him into custody. The inquest was adjourned.
Will: are told that, whereas the census taken six years before the Queen came to the throne contained no occupations for women except domestic service, there were, at the date of the last census, 61.000 women dressmakers, 70,000 employed in public- bouses, 4500 in printing establishments, and 4721 in mines. The Post Office has nearly 30,000 women as clerks, telegraphists, sorters, &c. Where there was one lady clerk in-1871 there are now four and—to take two industries only—there are now 121 women per 100 men in the tobacco industry, as .against 42 per 1000 in 1871; while in hemp and jute the women workers have increased from 67 per 100 men to 195 per 100. There are throughout the kingdom nearly 130,000 women engaged in teaching, almost three times the number of men.
GREATER BRITAIN. A GOOD thing for the Colonies—and for the British Empire generally, it might be said—is the establishment of the Colonial Club" in London. The club was really formed some little time ago, but it has been very properly moving along in a cautious way. Now with its strength of nearly 600 members, it has gone into roomy, clubable rooms in Whitehall- court, and become a real club, where Colonial men may go and swap their yarns" and generally work in the direction of making the spot an interesting Colonial centre. Agents-General,Canadian ranchmen, and merchantmen, Antipodean squatters," West Indian and Figian planters, gold and meat kings, and the rest are to be found there, and as everybody is interested in our Colonial Dependencies, there is a fairly open door," so that the club may well be ex- pected to grow in influence at a rapid rate. SIR BRADFORD LESLIE is now in India endeavour- ing to work out on the spot his favourite scheme for a Calcutta Central Railway. Sir Bradford knows his India well, and should be able to bring his pet pro- ject to a successful issue. He was formerly agent to the East India Railway Company, and built the Jubilee Bridge over the Hooghley River. He is a Falmouth man, a M.I.C.E.,and a Fellow of the Calcutta University. Sir Bradford, who is now 68 years of age. was educated at Mercers' School, London, and is a singularly able man in his profession. His father, the late Mr. C. R. Leslie, was a Royal Academician. THE Maharajah of-Kuch Behar held his big annual shooting party last month, and had among his guests the Count of Turin, who has been enjoying grand sport during his tour in the Far East. The Maha- rniah, who is now 37 years of age, is one of the most anient sportsmen in India. He was educated at Bankipur College and at the Calcutta Presidency College, and ranks as one of the Ruling Chiefs of India. He is Lieut.-Colonel of the 6th Bengal Cavalry, and an Honorary Aide-de-camp to the Prince of Wales. He was 10 years ago decorated with the Grand Cross of the Indian Empire, and the Maharani is one of the select circle of Indian ladies who have been honoured by the Queen with the Crown of India. MAJOR R. C. ONSLOW, of the 10th Bengal Cavalry, who has been appointed a Deputy Judge-Advocate on the Indian establishment, entered the 12th Foot in 1876. He secured the rank of captain in 1887, and his present rank in 1896. He has one campaign to his credit, the Afghan war of 1878-80. He was pre- sent and did excellent work at the engagement at Jugdulluck. Jugdulluck. IT has been decided in Calcutta that a Bill provid- ing authority for the Government to impose a countervailing duty on bounty-fed sugar imported into India shall be introduced in the Legislative Council. BOMBAY, as pointed out by an Indian newspaper, has a very real interest in the violation of treaty rights by the French in Madagascar. Prior to the French occupation Bombay's trade with tbe island was exceedingly limited, but after the declaration of the protectorate the volume of exports rose from a few thousand rupees in 1894 to 7! lakhs in 1896. The restrictions imposed by the French have brought about an equally rapid fall, and last year Bombay exported less than 3 lakbsworth of goods to Mada- gascar. DURING the hearing of a case in the police court at Bombay one of the witnesses was thought to be drunk, and was accordingly ordered out of Court. Just as he was leaving he dropped down dead, a victim to the plague. IT has been decided to establish a Chief Court for Lower Burma composed of three judges, the Re- corder of Rangoon, another barrister-judge, and the Judicib.1 Commissioner of Lower Burma. THE Postmaster-General for the Dominion of Canada, Mr. Mullocb, has selected from Sir Lewis Morris's fine Jubilee ode for 1887 the following lines to adorn the Canadian postage stamp: We hold a vaster Empire than has been, Nigh half the race of man is subject to our Queen; Nigh half the wide wide world is ours in fee, And where Her rule comes, all are free." No higher compliment than this could be paid to the Poet who voices here the Empire and its hopes. THE Premier of Newfoundland, Sir James Winter, absolutely declines to accept the Chief Justiceship, or to reinstate Mr. Morina in the Ministry. A Govern- ment crisis is (according to a St. John's telegram) impending. MR. EMMERSON, who for the second time enters upon the duties of Premier of New Brunswick, is a young man—young in the political sense—of less than 46, who ere entering politics had achieved a re- markable reputation as a lawyer. It is only 11 years since that he was induced to seek election for the first tune to the House of Assembly of the province. CODRINGTON COLLEGE, Barbados, the University of the major part of the West Indies, will be closed on June 29 next, unless, by May 1, [funds are available to provide for its continuance. It is estimated that a minimum sum of £,1)()()() as an emergency fund is required. This college, established in 1710 by General Codrington, soldier, administrator, man of letters, and a native of the West Indies, provides an adequate education for such of the West Indian youths as should be disposed to devote themselves to the Christian Ministry in their;native islands without the expense and trouble of seeking the necessary qualifications in Europe at a distance from their friends and relations," and has, with one interval, continued to fulfil the intentions of the founder. THE statement made by several papers that the Victoria Cross awarded to Captain Hore-Ruthven, 3rd Battalion Highland Light Infantry, for gallantry at Gedaref, is the first ever bestowed on a militia officer,is not correct. The Victoria Cross was con- ferred on Major Heaphy, New Zealand Militia, for conspicuous bravery in the assault on Rangiriri, in 1863. Major Heaphy was a surveyor, and had had no military experience at all before the out- break of the Waikato war; but he proved a splendid soldier, and on the first oppor- tunity set a grand example to the Colonial troops by rescuing a wounded Imperial ofEcerfrom the Maoris, and carrying him out under heavy fire. He was struck in several places, but not badly hurt. There was a violent controversy at the time as to whether, being a militia officer, he could receive the Victoria Cross; but General Sir Duncan Cameron having re- commended him, he got it in the teeth of great oppo- sition. He long outlived those jealousies and antagonisms, and was universally admitted to have worthily won the coverted decoration. MAJOR THE HON. GEORGE BRLLEW-BRYAN has been doing duty for some time on Lord Hampden's staff in Australia for his old brother in arms, Captain the Hon. T. Brand, and is expected to return with Lord Hampden's party next month. OWING to the distress in New South Wales caused by droughts, a deputation of farmers has asked the Government for the remission of rents on Crown leases, for an extension of time for payments on conditional purchases, and relief in other directions, THE Old-Age Pension law is now in operation in New Zealand. In the second week in January appli- cations for pensions were heard in the magistrates' Courts throughout the Colony, which were kept very bust for a time in ascertaining that the applicants were over 65 and of good character. They were dis- |. posed of in each Court at the rate of alo it 30 a day. This granting of pensions is a very eatj thing in a colony like New Zealand, where the proper ion of the poverty-stricken to the whole population is small.
M. ASSISTANT SECRETARY ÅLLEN has decided in the negative the question whether electrical power should be used for auxiliary purposes, in preference to steam, on the new United States warships. BOTH the State and the private apartments of Windsor CaStle, are now, lighted by electricity, and there are about 2000 lamps in the palace. THE Russian Minister at Pekin, in a renewed pro- test couched in peremptory terms, declares, says a ¡ Times telegram, that Russia cannot consent to the conditions of the Northern Railway loan, stipulating that the chief engineer should be British, and that the loan should be secured on the freights and earn- ings of the new line. THE Stepney Guardians decided to substitute corn I grinding for the useless and antiquated labour tests of oakum picking and wood chopping for the adult inmates. AMONG the fabulous details respecting the fortune bequeathed by the late Nubar Pasha, the most misleading is perhaps that which states that a con- siderable legacy falls to the distressed Armenians, In the will nothing is left for the purpose. KING HUMBERT intends to visit the Island of Sardinia towards the end of April. It is believed that both an Italian and a British Squadron will assehible there on that occasion. IT has been estimated that over 35,000 birds of paradise and 86,000 egrets must have been killed to 1 supply the demand for their feathers for millinery last, Jrear. THE Earl of Portsmouth has presented the Rev. F. H. Baring, formerly rector of Kingsworthy, F. H. Baring, formerly rector of Kingsworthy, Hants, and recently secretary to the Punjab Bible Society, to the rectory of Eggesford, North Devon, vacant by the resignation of the Rev. A. W. Owen. IN connection with the arrest of four men believed to be the accomplices of Acciarito, who attempted to assassinate King Humbert, in April, 1897, Acciarito has confessed that he was chosen by lot to murder the Kihg. COMMANDER CHARLES ANSON, H.M.S. Trafalgar, has been selected to succeed Staff Commander Herbert Roxby on board the Royal yacht Osborne. Com- mander Roxby has been serving with the Osborne for nearly 16 years.
FUN AND FANCY. IN these days of frequent burglaries, it is well observe all reasonable precautions. A business man went home the other evening, and found this notice in his wife's handwriting in a conspicuous place on the front door: "Dear Dick,—I have gone over to mother's, and have hidden the key so that no one can find it but you. It is under the left lower corner of the door-mat." A COUNTRY youth, who had been in the city, was asked by his father if he had been guarded in his conduct while thefre. Oh, yes," was the reply; I was guarded by two policemen part of the time." A BRILLIANT conversationalist was told by a lady: Sir, there is really no end to your wit." Heaven forbid," replied the humourist, that I should be at my wits end." Ax Irishman, looking over a physician's bill, said he had no objection to paying for the medicine, but his visits he would return. CHARLES MATHEWS. the comedian, being asked what he was going to do with his son, said he intended to make an architect of him he could then draw houses like his father. A FRIENJ) of a man who had absconded was asked why he left. He replied I apprehend he was ap- prehensive of being apprehended." A LAWYER placed on his office door: In from ten to one." A wag wrote underneath: Ten to one he is not in." Two rival shoemakers lived opposite one another. One had a new sign painted Mens conscia recti." The other one, not to be outdone, put up: Men's and women's conscia recti." A MAN told a friend that he had drunk two bottles of champagne and six of port. His friend replied: That's more than I can swallow." IF a woman keeps a secret it is pretty sure to be with telling effect. A BREWER was drowned in his own vat; the coroner's jury gave a verdict: "Found floating on his wateru bier." SWIFT'S Stella, in her last illness, was told by her physician: Madam, I hope we shall soon get yott up the hill again." "Ah," said she, "I am afraid before I get to the top of the hill I shall be out of breath." AN Irish judge, in passing sentence of death on a thief, convicted forstealing a watch, said: "That in grasping time he had reached eternity." A YOUNG man, hearing one lady say to another i I have something fcr your private ear," exclaimed: I protest against it, for privateering is illegal." A COUPLE of Belgian giants," says a paper out West, "are now in the city for the purpose of exhibition. They are so long that it takes two days to exhibit them. MRS. BILLUS: "Don't you believe it's true, John, that a person partakes to a considerable extent of the nature of the creatures he eats?" Mr. Billus: No. I've been eating fish all my life, and I can't swim a stroke." FIRST NEW WOMAN (at the club): "Have you finished your social duties for the day, dear?" Second New Woman: "Horrors! no. I feel that I really must go home and call on my husband." .+ A GENTLEMAN, who was once stopped by an old man begging, replied Don't, you know, my man, that, Fortune knocks once at every man's door?" Yes," said the old man, he knocked at my door Once, but I was out, and ever since then he has sent his daughter." His daughter!" replied the gentle-, man. "What do you mean?" Why, Misfortune." 1 DR. BIRCH First class in geometry, stand up. William, what is a straight line?" "Shortest dis- tance between two points." "Give an exapiple." Line of railway from A to B on its own map." Give an example of crooked line." Same railway on map of opposition line." WILKINS Who is that man?" Bilkins: That's Professor Littlewit, the famous weather prophet. He makes predictions three months ahead, and publishes them in all the daily papers." "Do they come true?" "No one knows. Nobody keeps daily papers that long." WHY do you always come after tea?" said a young lady. I come after T," was the response, in order to be near U." PHYSICIAN, to Government clerk: Well, what do you complain of?" Sleeplessness, doctor." "At C what time do you go to bed ?" Oh I don't mean at night, but during office hours." LANDLORD: "Did you ever taste anything to match this red wine ?" Customer Oh, yes. Only the other week I stuck the wrong end of the penholder in my mouth by mistake." "Wno is Josiah W. Biggertix, and where does he t; live?" asked the reporter. I never heard of him in my life. and I have been in this town for 20. years." answered the city editor. "What about him ?" Just got an order from the business office to make him the next one in our eminent citizen series." WIlEN Mr. Alex. Gunn was dismissed from the Custom House, the entry made against his name in the books was: A gun discharged for making a false report." A viSiTOR at Surgeon's Hall, when shown a number of dwarfs perserved in alcohol remarked: I never thought that the dead could be in such spirits." ■i' SOME land in Ireland is so poor that one cannot raise a disturbance upon it. I GO through my work," said a needle to an idle boy. But not until you are hard pushed," said the idle boy to the needle. THE iron has entered my sole," .said the shoe to the shoemaker. I give thee awl, I can no more," was the reply. Miss DEARBORN: What is the matter here P" Mr. Coroner: "Man just fell from a 13-storey window." "The 13th, did you say? How un- '$. lucky I" "I HAVE here a letter directed to the prettiest woman in the house," announced the chairman of a woman's rights meeting. Four reporters on the front seat were trampled to death in the rush for the platform. 11 His MOTHER: "What are you moping about the house for, Tommy? Why don't you go over and play with Charley Pinafore?" Tommy: "'Cause I played with Charley Pinafore yesterday, and I don't' M s'p'ose he's well enough yet." FATHER (looking over the paper): "More bad news. A hitherto unknown frog-pond has been discovered in Central Africa." Mother: "What is that to us?" > Father: What is that to us? It means that every one of our eight children will have to have a new and revised edition of Highprice's Geography." My dear," said a wife, who had been married three yiars, as she beamed across the table on her lord and master, "tell me what first attracted you to me. What pleasant characteristic did I possess which placed me above other women in your sight And her lord and master simply said, I give it up." SUPERINTENDENT OF INSANE ASYLUM What's that woman howling about?" Attendant: "She doesn't like her strait-jacket." "Does she want it taken off ?" Yes, she wants one with puffed sleeves." LITTLE JOHNNY has been naughty, and has to be Sent from the table without having any dessert. For an hour he has been sitting in the corner of the room crying. At tast he thinks it time to stop. "Well! I hope you have done crying now," says his mother. Haven't done," says Johnny, in a passion I'm only resting." ETHELBERTA (in runaway carriage): "Oh, Tom, let us jump—quick." Tbm (leisurely): Twould only be the trouble for nothing. We shall be thrown out in a minute." A YANKEE journal publishes the following in its column of local news: "A gentleman in Monroe, who is an artist of no mean repute, and indebted to this office for seven dollars, is going to Washington to study;" BINKS II I hear that Jawkins called you a fool at l the club the other night. How could you stand tha|?". Jinks: II I didn't stand it." Binks: "That's right,, I suppose yofl made him apologise ? Jinks *'Er—well—the fact is. when he called me a fool I called him another, and immediately I found myself sitting on the floor. So nobody can say that I stood it." A GOOD story of the late George Augustus Sala and Barnum is told. It was on the occasion of the last visit of the famous showman to England. Mr. presided. In the reception room, where all were waiting to welcome the guest of the evening, Mr. l Barnum caipp in beaming, and shaking hands with the chairman, said,, with a strongly-marked Yankee- accent: "This is indeed a surprise to me." II Did"" you hear that ? Mr. Sala whispered. "Why, he arranged for the dinner himself!" CUSTOMER (to jeweller): Here's the cloci I bought of you the other day. It's of no earthly use to me, for it. gains fully fifteen minutes an hour." Jeweller (examining the clock): My dear sir, I beg a thousand „ pardohs. This is one of our patent anticipatory timepieces, made exclusively for our billiard-table and livery-stable trade. Excuse the mistake. Anything you may select in tbe line of our ordinary clocks we i will exchange with pleasure. HUSBAND (at breakfast): I had an awful dream Inst night, dear." Wife: "What was it, John?" Husband I dreamed that your mother was out riding and the horses ran away. Just as they ap- proached a frightful precipice, with a sheer declivity of 500ft. Wife (pale-faced): "Oh, John, that was awful." Husband I woke up and found it was all a dream. It was simply terrible." "Now Willie Jenkins," said the master, "how many seconds make a minute?" Male or female?" Male or female—what doyoumeau?" "There's a big difference. When father says hell be down in a minute, it takes him 60sec., but sister's minutes are about 600 sec."