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INDIA'S TROUBLES.I -
INDIA'S TROUBLES. THE ORAKZAIS AND THE SAlAXA RANGE. IN THE KURRAM VALLEY. The situation on the disturbed North-West frontier of India was thus ably summed up in the Standard of Monday: North and north-west of t Ii Samana range are valleys occupied by the Orakzai tribe; while the Miranzai ralley, to the south, is part of the British district of Kohar, After the chastisement of certain sections of the Orakzais in 1891, two strong forts were cfti- Btructed on the Samana—one at Gulistan, the other at Mastuj. The latter is known as Fort Lockhart, after the distinguished General Sir William Lockhart; while that at Gulistan bears the name of Sir Louis Cavagnari. The crest of the Samana range has an elevation of from six to seven thousand feet, and is fairly broad and flat; tuns offering an excellent site for frontier posts. On he outbreak of the present disturbances, Fort Lockhart was garrisoned by the 36th Sikh Infantry, which also had a detachment, under Major C. H. Des V;eux, at Fort Cavagnari (Gulistan), as well as another de- tachment in the Kurram Valley. Briefly, the meaning of the latest intelligence from the Samana is that the Orakzais are up. On Satur- day it was reported that the Daulatzai section of this tribe-wrongly described as Afridis—had raided a post south of the Ublan Pass, and about 25 miles north- east of Hangu. Some additional details of the fighting in this neighbourhood have also been given in a later telegram it being reported that Captain Baird Smith and Lieutenant North were wounded while returning with a force sent to clear the Ublan Pass of the enemy. But the accounts of the affair on the Samana indicate that the most severe fighting was along this range. The Commandant of Fort Lockhart received information that Fort Cavagnari (Gulistan) was threatened by a gathering of the Orakzais, which included men from three of the five sections of the tribe. As a fourth section had been engaged with Imperial troops near the Ublan Pass, it will be seen that the hostility of the Orakzais is by no means con- fined to a few of them. Firing from the neigh- bourhood of Fort Cavagnari was heard all Friday night of last week, and on Saturday morning Colonel Yaughan went from Fort Lockhart to the assistance of the garrison. On arrival he found that Major Des Voeux, who had reconnoitred the enemy, had been compelled to retire, and that during this operation Lieutenant Blair had been severely wounded. The Ali Khels and Ali Sherzais are said, with the Malla Khels, to be the bravest of their tribe. It is pretty certain that we shall hear of further fighting on the Samana; but, although some of the outposts, held by small detachnrents, may prove untenable, little apprehension need be felt as to Forts Lockhart and Cavagnari. The position here, it must be understood, is unlike the position in the Khyber. The little forts in the Pass and the fortified Serai at Lundi Kotal were not British forts, and they were not held by regular troops. Forts Lock- hart and Cavagnari are garrisoned by Sikh troops under British officers, and are of more importance than the Khyber posts. At the same time, they will be defended more resolutely, and they can easily be reinforced fron Hangu and Kohat. The report that, in view of the urgent need of reinforcements on the Samana, Colonel Gordon is starting with a column to march through the Kohat is, no doubt, based on a misap- prehension. Such a move might be useful as a diver- sion but the quickest way of getting troops to the Samana is to bring them by rail from Rawul Pindi and Kushalgarb, on the Indus, whence they would march via Kohat. There are also reasons for doubt- ing the report that the Lakka Post has been attacked at least, if this refers to the Lachi Post, which is 15 miles south-west of Kohat, on the main road to Bunnu. ) With regard to the Orakzai rising, it may be noted that the measure advocated for effectually controlling the Afridis would, at the same time, serve to keep the Orakzais in check. Like the Khyber Afridis, the Orakzais migrate in the summer months to Tirah, though to a different part of this region, which, it may be explained, covers a series of valleys compris- ing an area of 700 square miles. Afridi Tirah con- sists of the Upper Valley of the Bara River, above Torabela, Orakzai Tirah lying to the south. In the Kurram Valley, stationed at Para Chinar, Kurram Fort Sangina, Sudda, and other points, we have a detachment of the 3rd Punjab Cavalry, two guns of Number 2 Mountain Battery, a wing of the 5th Goorkhas, and a detach- ment of the 36th Sikhs. The chief danger here is from the Zaimukht Pathans and from the Massozai, an Orakzai clan. Communications beyond Thull are frequently interrupted; and little seems to be known as to the exact state of things further op the valley. The garrison, however, should be strong enough to hold its own, and there ought now to be no fear of incursions from the Afghan district of Khost; that is, if the Ameer Abdur Rahman's officials there can be depended on. From the Khyber there is no trustworthy intelli- gence, though the Afridis are said to be suffering from the scarcity of provisions. This time last year there was a water famine in the Pass. A scattered remnant of the garrison of Lundi Kotal has come into Jamrud, but the rest seem to have joined their kinsfolk, the enemy, which possibly was the wisest thing they could do in the circumstances. It is now known that Colonel Aslam Kban was Hot in Lundi Kotal, but at Jamrud, when the out- break occurred. During the last few months he has been acting as Officer in Charge of the Khyber, the position held by Colonel Warburton, in addition to his other duties as Commandant of the Khyber Rifles; and this, no doubt, accounts for his presence at Jamrud. Mr. Donald, C.S.I., now Political Officer in Samana, has been Bpoken of as likely to take Colonel Warburton's place permanently; but, until tbe Khyber is recovered, the appointment is something of a sinecure. The disarmament of the Khyber Rifles, or what is left of them is, doubtless, a proper measure; but it is unsatisfactory to find that a corps which fought well for us in the Black Mountain, and on the road to Chitrd, can no longer be trusted. The payment of subsidies to the Pass Afridis has, of course, been stopped and pensions to all old soldiers in Afridi-land should be withheld unless they come in and consent to settle in the plains, away from the frontier, till the trouble is over. The reports of threatened disturbances in the Quetta direction should be received with caution, though it may be that the attitude of the Murris may give rise to soma uneasiness. In October last the tribe was excited by the preaching of another Mad Mullah," the Must Faquir as he was called, who instigated the attack on a railway station on the Hurnai line, for which he was hanged at Sibi.
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MR. BERRERT GLADSTONE, who has been staying at Carlsbad, has joined Mr. Williamson's shooting party at Glenogil, Forfarshire, where the moors usually yield a heavy bag of grouse and a few stags. There are 800 acres of woods on the shooting which are full of roe-deer. IUE King of Siam has a suite of no fewer than 120 servants. The chief of his Majesty's body-guard, who has charge of the personal safety of his mastor, is a young man of 32 years. With him are seven political detectives. There is, or course, no occasion for their services in this country, as the authorities of Scotland Yard have made every arrangement for the protection of the Ring. ACCORDING to a Parisian scientist, the greatest egg- eating countries in Europe are England and Germany. In 1895 England imported 1,250,000,000 eggs, for which we paid about £4,000,000. The eggs came principally from France. During the same year Germany imported 20,000,000 pounds of eggs, repre- lenting about £4,000,000. Most of these eggs came from Austria-Hungary and Russia. TUB Count of Turin is thus described by a French writer A brisk officer of 27, tall slender, easy, with a jovial air and a straightforward look. A good horseman, and reckoned one of the best swordsmen in Italy." And Prince Henry: Very tall, his ap- pearance a little phlegmatic, after the fashion of thin Belgians; and hiB strange eyes without lustre, colour, or life. The rest of his physiognomy shows finesse and nervousness." THE Houses of Parliament are partly lighted by 40.000 electric lamps, which number is being con- stantly increased. Fifty experienced electricians are employed to keep the system in order. But there is stilI a yearly gas bill of over £2000. ONE million and a-half men work in the coal mines of the world. Of these, Great Britain has 535,000; United States, 300,000 Germany, 285,000; Belgium, £100.000; Russia, 44,000. The world's miners of metal number 4,000,000. THE Board of Trade has granted a licence for three years from the present month for the working of the Higbgate-hill Steep Grade Cable Tramway. The cars, after remaining idle for four years, were restrated a few months ago, the tramway, after being repaired, being worked under a provisional licence from the Board of Trade. The line is three-quarters of a mile in length. The cost of the construction of the line, which was the first of its kind laid down in England, was over £60,000. THE nation of Indians that best represented the warring element of the race of red men has made a signticant appeal to the Government. The remnant of the Sioux has asked permission to erect a monu- ment to the braves slain in the battle of Wounded Knee in South Dakota seven years ago, and to in- fcribe thereon, in the Sioux language," words that r.hall proclaim Wounded Knee, the last battlefield on which the Indian shall thow hostility to his white brother."
GREECE AND TURIviiY.
GREECE AND TURIviiY. THE PEACE XEGOTIA TIOXS. It is reported from Athens that the Freneh and Russian Ministers have been instructed to invite the Greek Government unofficially to specify the revenues which can be assigned for the indemnity loan proposed by Lord Salisbury on the guarantee of the three Powers. No answer had, up to Monday, been returned by the Greek Government. The Times Vienna correspondent says that in official quarters there the probability of the acceptance of Lord Salisbury's proposal is considered to have greatly diminished owing to the persistent opposition of Germany.
THE ENGINEERING DISPUTE.
THE ENGINEERING DISPUTE. A demonstration of London workmen concerned in this dispute and of those who sympathise with them was held on Sunday afternoon in Hyde-park. A long procession was formed on the Thames Em- bankment and marched to the park, where speeches were delivered from eight platforms. Among the speakers were Mr. J. Burns, M.P., Mr. Maddison, M.P., and Mr. G. N. Barnes, the secretary of the Amalgamated Society of Engineers. A resolution expreesing hearty concurrence with the movement for an eight hours day and sympathy with the pro- vincial workers in their struggle with the Northern Employers' Federation was simultaneously carried at all the platforms. Nearly £ 30,000 was distributed on Saturday to the 45,000 men who are on strike and locked out.
THE SUSSEX MAJSCEUVRES.
THE SUSSEX MAJSCEUVRES. PRELIMINARY" IDEAS. Several encampments of fighting men about 12,000 of them altogether—were gathered on Sunday night in the neighbourhood of Arundel from several of our military districts to take part in a series of tactical exercises" under Major-General Sir W. F. Butler, K.C.B., commanding at Dover. Sir William has chosen to apply the name of "tactical exercises" to the operations of the week, but one does not quite perceive why these same "exercises" might not equally have been termed autumn manoeuvres," like those which lately came to a close at Aldershot. In one respect these "tactical exercises" planned by Sir Wm. Butlerandhis chief of the staff, Colonel J. Spence, are almost unique in the history of our autumn manceuvres, since they are held, so to speak, under all the advantages conferred by tbe new Manoeuvre Act, which only comes into force next year. For, with a patriotism and self-sacrifice beyond all praise, the surrounding landlords—including the Dukes of Norfolk and Richmond, Lords Zouche and Lecon- field, Sir P. Milbanke, Messrs. Wilberforee and Fletcher, and Major C. Leslie—freely placed their land at the disposal of Sir William Butler, and the troops had to steer clear of but few of those deter- rent white flags and those scaring off out of bounds!" placards which were the confusion of the Aldershot country. Sir W. Butler's headquarter staff may be considered as a model of the selection of the fittest, and Major- General Kelly-Kenny is to be senior umpire. The total force engaged has been superior to that which engaged in the recent Aldershot manceuvres, in that while the infantry numbered 16 battalions, there were four cavalry regiments, each of three squadrons, one of them being a composite regiment of House- hold Cavalry (1st and 2nd Life Guards and Blues), and 11 batteries, with detachments of Engineers, Army Service Corps, Medical Staff, &c., and a stiffening was given to the linesmen by the pre- sence of a brigade of Guards (2nd Grenadiers, 1st Coldstreams. and 2nd Scots), though, indeed, the Seaforth Highlanders and the Royal Irish Fusiliers are just as good in their way as any Guards- men who every stepped. Sir W. Butler's entire oommand-which was drawn from the South-Eastern, Southern, South-Western, Chatham, and Aldershot districts—was divided into two divisions and a detached force. The 1st Division ("Blue"), which comprises the Guards, was placed under Major- General C. J. Burnett, C.B., his brigadiers being Lord Falmouth, of the Guards, and Colonel Andrew Wauchope, of the Black Watch," while the 2nd Division ("Red ") was commanded by Major-General Gossett, C.B., with Colonel A. G. Raper and Colonel F. H. Laye as brigadiers. The commander of the 5th Brigade (composed of four battalions, while the others were each made up of three) was Colonel H. H. Parr, C.B., C.M.G., and this brigade, encamped at Sutton, included the Seaforths and the Royal Irish. To each division was attached a brigade of cavalry— the 1st having the 3rd and 10th (Prince of Wales'i Own) Hussars and the 2nd the composite Household horsemen and the Royals (the Kaiser's Own). Generals Sir Redvers Buller and Sir Evelyn Wood arrived on Saturday as the guests of the ducal Post- master-General, whose magnificent baronial pile on its sylvan, sloping ridge—a reduced copy of Windsor —has been the scene of a free-handed hospitality as of the days of knight errantry, when fighting men had only to wind a blast on their horn at the castle gate and declare themselves friends," to have it immediately opened to them by the seneschal and be provided with princely entertainment for man and horse. It is the presence of so many distinguished commanders at Arundel, apart from the quality and composition of the troops, and the almost boundless elbow-room at their disposal, that have lent these tactical operations an interest superior to that which attached to the late manoeuvres at Aldershot.
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THE recruiting returns for the past month show not the slightest improvement on those for the month pre- vious. It has been suggested that the falling off is due to harvesting operations, but, as a matter of fact, the same story comes from both town and country districts. Needless to say, the returns give the War Office deep anxiety. DR. HERZ'S attempt to play American citizenship as a trump card in his duel with the French Govern- ment has quite failed. Mr. Sherman causes it to be announced that the State Department will take no cognisance of the doctors claim for damages against the French Republic for what ne is pleased to term TnE National Amalgamated Society of Painters and Decorators, the members of which number 7800, has passed a vote in of an eIght hcnrs day. The societv belongs to the federated trades, the other members of which are now voting to the number of 20,000. IT is to be hoped that the plan which is being tried bvthi Great Northern Railway Company for miti- ga'inft the danger of level-crossings will be found effectual; the experiments hitherto made are said to have given promising results. The pressure of an approaching train upon a cunningly-devised piece of mechanism rings a bell, which is not silenced until the train has passed the crossing. If workig of this appliance can be depended upon, it will be the means of saving many lives. VICTOR HUGO'S statue, the unveiling of which is to be one of the events of the 1900 Universal Exhibition at Paris, is to be a somewhat sensational piece of work. The base of the statue, made of granite, will be shaped like the poet and novelist's place of exile for 18 years, Guernsey. lne coast line, the heights, courses of streams, &c., will be faithfully indicated. In otber words, the base will be a raised map of Guernsey. It is said, oeve, that the Victor Hugo cult, once so flourishing in France, is decay- ing. TUB gondola has made its appearance on the Thames. Two or three of these craft have been seen lately in the upper reaches of the river, and are owned by private people. The gondola does not seem to have borne the process of transplanting well. Tne gondoliers in charge do not remind you of the romantic sons of Venice. Tbey are too pain- fully clean, and their costumes too prosaic. THE Duchess of Orleans intends to take up her residence in Paris next winter. SATISFACTION has been promised by the Sultan of Morocco to the demands of the United States. THE Board of Admiralty have appointed Mr. Stanley Dunkerley to be Professor of Applied Mechanics at the Royal Naval College, Greenwich. A FORMAL denial is given to the report that General Primo Riveira has been arrested in the Phillippines. THE death is announced in New York of Randal Roberts, who commanded the abortive Fenian expe- dition in Canada. t. j, THE German troops have attacked and defeated the Hottentot rebels in Darmaraland, killing 20of them. The Germans lost an officer and two men killed, four others being wounded. THE Battersea Labour League have passed a resolu- tion denouncing the alleged tortures of political prisoners at Montjuich by the opanish Government. THERE has just diedin abject poverty, in New York, Walter Robert Wade, whose widow claims that he was the grandson of a Governor-General of PRINCE FERDINAND of Bulgaria has given a sum of 10,000fr. to a bazaar which is being held in the grounds of Yildiz Kiosk for the benefit of the victims by the recent war. A MEMORIAL, subscribed for by a number of old Etonians, has just been erected to the Rev. John Wilder, late Vice-Provost of Eton. Mr. Wilder waa connected with Eton for more than 80 years. THE Eclair believes that Mr. Rennell Rodd, the missionary to Abyssinia, met with such success that it is to be feared that all the efforts of the French will be in vain if the Government does not approach the Negus with the utmost energy. THERE is considerable probability that the Count Casa Valencia, the Spanish Ambassador in London, I will shortly retire from his post in order to assume office in the Soanish Cabinet.
THE ROYAL VISIT TO IRELAND.
THE ROYAL VISIT TO IRELAND. PRESENTATION OF COLOURS.—GARDEN PARTY. The presentation of colours by the Duchess of York on Friday morning of last week, and the garden party given by the Lord Lieutenant and Lady Cadogan in the Viceregal Lodge in the afternoon, practically brought the proceedings in connection with the Royal visit to Dublin to an end. The military ceremony took place in the Fifteen Acres, Pheenix-park, and the three regiments to receive new colours at the hands of the Duchess were the Royal Fusiliers, the East Yorkshire Regiment, and the Yorkshire Light Infantry. The Duke of York, in a short address to the commanding officers, expressed the gratification of her Royal High- ness at being able to perform such a unique ceremony as the presentation of three sets of colours on one occasion. The garden party subsequently attended bv the Duke and Duchess was a very successful affair, and was attended by a large number of invited guests of all shades of politics. DEPARTURE FROM DUBLIN. The departure of the Duke and Duchess of York from Dublin on Saturday was signallised by a right Royal send-off from the citizens. Kinesbridge terminus, from which their Royal Highnesses de- parted en route to Killarney, was gay with bunting and evergreens. The path from the roadway to the platform was carpeted in crimson cloth, and daises were erected on either side. Numerous palms and beautiful flowering plants bardered these stands, which were thronged ty a select company invited by the management of the Great Southern Railway Company, to witness the Royal departure Precisely at 2.20 p.m., the Duke and Duchess and suite arrived, and were received with hearty cheers which they repeatedly acknowledged, and in a few minutes the train moved out slowly amid the fervent plaudits of the people. The guard of honour saluted, and the National Anthem was played by the military band in attendance. A number of fog signals exploded as the train steamed away, and the groups gathered along the line took up the cheers that arose again and again from those who had the entrie to the station. Just st the end of the platform was congregated a crowd which was with difficulty withheld by the members of the Dublin police force from swarming on to the reserved space. "AU REVOIR." Aa the Royal carriage moved past, the Duke smiling his acknowledgments, an old woman—a street seller of fruit—bowed her head with comical fami- liarity at him, and cried out With hearty good will, Wish God save ye, an' send ye safe back to us again, for 'tis the honest face ye have anyway." Just the same wish as was spoken last week by thousands of the humbler classes, who admitted that they liked the looks in him, sure enough." Those who under- stand the curious currents of popular sentiment in Ireland will at once appreciate the full meaning of this voice of "the common people." Certain it is that the Duke of York quitted Dublin as one of the most popular personages that ever entered the Irish capital. The fact that his first public act was to open the Textile Exhibition won him the re- gard of many who might have stood aloof from sharing in the demonstrations of welcome. The Interest he manifested in so many favourite institu- tions, and the keen enjoyment he showed at so many popular festivals, made him appear to the people one jf themselves." A comfortable-looking west country farmer said at the horse show last week, as he was argufying on the topic of the hour, Royal resi- dence, indeed What does the Duke want in a house over here, when he can make the whole of Ireland his THE JOURNEY TO KILLARNEY. There were only two stops in the journey of the special train which took the Royal party to Killarney. At Ballybrophy a guard of honour, composed of 50 stalwart members of the Royal Irish Constabulary, was drawn up under the command of Mr. O'Hara, D.I., and Divisional Commissioner Gordon. There was a great concourse of people present; flags and banners decorated the station; and the enthusiasm was thoroughly genuine. At Charleville the second halt was made, and here another guard of the Royal Irish Constabulary, commanded by Mr. Jones, D.I., saluted the Duke. As the train departed cheers were repeatedly given. All along the route (says the lJailu Graphic's special correspondent) were evidences of a desire to greet the Royal guests, the stations being bright with bunting, and many dwellings flying flags from the windows. Fringing the line are many clusters of cabins, here and there a village, with the thatched roofs of the houses looking very cosy, and here and there solitary labourers' cottages. Figures of old people would appear out of the dusk of the interior of many a cabin, shading their eyes with their hands and peering curiously after the rushing train. In the fields the workers would pause and raise their hats, and many a mother would raise her child to her shoulder, and one could fancy what she said as she motioned to the young one. Pretty pictures in the hayfields these groups made, seen for a moment as we dashed by—snap shots of the every-day life of the people. With a roar we flashed past the stations, the rows of people and decorations appearing a blurred mass of colour. When the sun gleamed upon the yellow fields in the distance, and the clouds cleared away, the country side looked charming. The after- noon was a typical one—bright sunshine, with intermittent showers. At one moment the landscape was darkened by sudden clouds, the next gladsome and smiling—a pure samrle of Irish climate, perhaps symbolical of the Irish character. On through the grass country of county Kildare, skirting the famous Curragh — on into county Cork. Nearing Killarney the scene gradually changed from the rich pasture lands of the kingdom of Kerry. Then along beneath the shadow of tho Kerry Hills—jagged, irregular, sombre mountains. The mists bung in great folds about the summits, and the setting sun created exquisite effects of light and colour. Macgillicuddy Reeks rose up grand and im- posing—great mountain chains that seemed a long line of purple, wrapped in grey clouds. AT KILLARNEY. To the moment announced the train steamed into Killarney Station. The platform was filled with the inhabitants of the place, and visitors who at this season throng to the beauty spot of Ireland. A guard of honour, composed of 100 men of the Royal Irish Constabulary, under the command of County Inspector Waters and District Inspector Ball, were drawn up. The building was tastefully decorated, over the entrance was a shield bearing the motto V.R. surrounded with the rose, shamrock, and thistle. The Duke and Duchess on alighting weie received with prolonged cheers, and when the fervour had subsided the Town Clerk, who was accompanied by the Commissioners of Killarney, read an address of welcome. The Duke, who spoke in a cheery voice, and who evidently felt the heartiness of the greeting, thanked the representatives of the township for the character of the reception given to himself and the Duchess of York, aad expressed pleasure at having the opportunity of becoming acquainted with the beautiful scenery of Ireland. He dwelt with emphasis on the gratification he felt at the expressions of congratulation on the occasion of her Majesty a Jubilee celebrations which were conveyed in the address. The Royal party then proceeded to Ken- mare House, the residence of Lord Kenmare, just outside the town. As they left the station the local band played up and marched after the procession o carriages. The streets were spanned with triumphal arches, flags fluttered from nearly every house m the place, and in the square opposite the Town Hail a really striking series of decorations had been put up. At the end of the avenue leading from the station was an enormous archway composed of laurels an ivy and bearing the legend, Come back to Erin. ILLUMINATIONS. In the evening the electric lights in the streets were turned on, gas jets forming devices and mottoes were illuminated, and tar barrels were lit. Saturday being a market day thousands of farmers and labourers from the outlying district were in the town, ana e majority remained to behold the public r°a°1 es a tions of rejoicing at night. The most casual o server could see at a glance that this Killarney reception was in many ways aparD from the displays of e past few days, inasmuch as here it was t e peasant and the shopkeeper and tho artisan w o a. e e Duke welcome. It was a memorable exhibition of popular feeling. A WET SUNDAY. Sunday morning broke dismally. The rin came down in torrents-an unceasing downpour, the sky overhead was heavy and leaden, and there seemed little hope of the weather clearing up. In a inaing shower the Duke and Ducbess drove m an enclosed carriage to the parish church, where Divine service began at 11.30 a.m. Tho church was crowded with a fashionable congregation. The Bishop of lmerick read the first lesson, and the sermon was preached by the Archdeacon of Adahoe. Mr. Leonard, agent for the Kenmare property, invited a number of Press repre- sentatives to visit Kenmare House during the absence of the Royal party. It rained on the unlucky special commissioners as it rains only in Kiharney, a con- tinuous and uncompromising downpour. They were received by Lord and Lady Kenmare and Lord Ross- castle, and shown through the fine mansion. Ken- mare is of recent construction, built of red brick in the Queen Anne style, and commands a magnificent view of the lakes.
PARISH COUNCILS.
PARISH COUNCILS. (Interesting Questions and Instructive Answers, Quoted from the Councils' Gazette,") Jury List.-Maintenance of Parish Highways.— (1) I should like (says "Assistant Overseer") some information on the Jury List. Three persons tell me they are exempt, but I have my doubts on the point. One is a relieving officer. He is qualified as owner and occupier of property but says that his office exempts him. The other two are assessors of taxes, and only accepted the office with the idea of getting off the Jury List. They are both tradesmen, are not collectors, nor have they anything to do other than signing papers brought to them by the officer. Are they exempt? May I also inquire by whom and by what means the office of Assessor of Taxes can be obtained. It appears to mt that one of the most eligible persons would be the Assistant Overseer. (2) What has become of the Parish Councils Highway Bill ? Can you give any informa- tion of the position we shall be in if the District Councils take them over. Will they take all roads, or will the County Council retain the main roads ? Answer: (1) We do not think that the Relieving Officer is exempt, and we have very grave doubts about the other persons mentioned. The proper course is, in such cases, to call upon the person claiming exemption to say under what Act and section he claims exemption; and to put him on the list if there is any reasonable doubt on the matter, unless he satisfies you that he has some proper ground for exemption. (2) The Highway Bill has shared the fate of a good many other bills, and cannot, of course, now become law till next Ses- sion, but we have no reason to despair of its ultimate success. Whether the bill passes or not the Rural District Council will have nothing to do with the main roads, which will remain in the hands of the County Council, as at present. The bill was specially drawn on the same lines as the Local Government Act, 1894, and expressly excluded main roads from its operation. Its object is to substitute the Parish Council for the Rural District Council as the high- way authority for all highways other than main roads. General District Rate Receipts.—In this parish fpart of an Urban District), for which I am col- lector, there are (a correspondent remarks) a number of small ratepayers, whose circumstances will not permit of their paying the rates due from them in one lump sum, but who make payments on account until the whole amount is paid. If this plan of re- ceiving these sums on account were not adopted, it is questionable whether the rates would ever be reco- vered without proceedings being taken. For these payments on account it has been customary for me to give an informal receipt on a sheet of note-paper, and when the full sum has been paid, to issue the official rate receipt, at the same time destroying the informal one. Objection has been taken to this course-the objector stating it to be contrary to the Orders of the Local Government Board-but it is not to be expected that I should part with the official receipt until the full sum has been paid. Your advice as to the best method of procedure under the circumstances above set out will oblige. Answer: In our opinion the objection is right, and the course you have adopted is contrary to the Orders of the Local Goverment Board. We do not for a moment suggest that the course has not been adopted for good reasons, or that it has not been attended with good results. But the proper course is for the Overseers, or the Guardians to direct the collector to keep an additional book- An Instalment Rate Receipt Check Book," in the form prescribed by the General Order of January 14, 1867. Any sum received on account short of the full amount due will then be entered in that book, and receipt given therefrom, and a note will be entered on the receipt in the rate receipt check book. The sums you have hitherto received on account may be very trilling, but it is obvious that if money is received without being recorded by means of receipt from a check-book, it is impossible for the Overseers or the Guardians to tell how much money the col- lector has in hand. Adoptive Acts.-Exetnption of Parish Constabi.. from Jury Service.-(I) The desirability of pro- viding a bathing shed having been brought before our Parish Council, I (a querist says) should be glad to know if it would be necessary to call a Parish Meeting to obtain power to adopt the Baths and Wash houses Act. Our Council's expenses are well within the 3d. rate limit—in fact, not l'^d.—and the intended expenditure would not be more than another id. rate. But some of our members think it is illegal to spend any money under either of the adoptive Acts without first adopting that Act. The Parish Council took over the Burial Board and the lighting from the old Parochial Committee. (2) Will you also kindly say if the appointment of Parish Constable exempts from jury service, and why there is now no retaining fee paid to such officer as used to be the case when the magistrates made the appoint- ment? Answer.—(1) It is illegal for the Parish Council to spend money under any of the Adoptive Acts, unless that Act has been properly adopted. The limit of the 3d. rate does not give the Parish Council power to spend the money raised by that rate on any objects they think fit, but only gives power to spend it on authorised objects. If an Adoptive Act is not adopted in a particular parish, expenditure under that Act is illegal. If the Burial Acts or the Light- ing Act were already legally adopted in the parish before the Parish Council came into existence, no fresh adoption is necessary after the creation of the Parish Council. (2) This question finds our legal contributor, to whom it was forwarded, taking a holiday, unaccompanied by statutes which he must consult before answering it, as to the exemption of parish constables from service on juries. Please re- peat the question as to this point, and it shall be answered. As to the remuneration of the constable, we think the question is asked under a misappre- hension. The parish constable's salary is fixed by the Parish Council, but he is appointed, as he always was, by the justices. Refusal of Assistant Overseer to Resign or give up Books. In a parish of over 300 inhabitants, a Parish Council was elected, which appointed the then Assistant Overseer as Assistant Overseer and Clerk to the Council, and the parish wish to revoke the ap- pointment, as he has gone to reside over 20 miles from the parish, and has done nothing on account of the present half-year's work. He declines to resign, and refuses to hand over the books, and one of his sureties has declined to continue as surety. No Council is in existence, as they decided to dissolve, and none was appointed this year. Will you kindly give your opinion as to who has the power of revoking the appointment; whether a Parish Meeting should be called by the Overseers, or whether the members of the late Council continue in office till a fresh Council is appointed, and whether the power would rest with them, and what steps you would advise the Overseers to take to revoke the appointment and get possession of the books and any balance which may be due to the parish ? Answer We are not sure that we rightly understand the facts. You say no (Parish) Council is in existence, as they decided to dissolve." If by "they" you mean the Parish Council or the Parish Meeting, then it is obvious that any such decision is absolutely null and void. The Local Government Act, 1894, gives neither to the Parish Council nor to the Parish Meeting any power to come to such a decision on the contrary, the Act says, there shall be a Parish Council for every rural parish which has a population of 300 or upwards. The parochial electors have only themselves to blame if confusion arises from a reckless disregard of the Act of Parliament. The Parish Council still exists, although there may be no individuals to constitute It. The proper course is for six parochial electors to convene a Parish Meeting immediately. The Parish Meeting should then resolve to apply to the County Council for an order, under sec. 47 (5) of the Local Government Act, 1894, directing a proper election to be held. Meanwhile, the Assistant Over- seer is bound to obey the orders of the majority of the Overseers, whosoever they may be, and this duty is quite independent of any question as to the proper authority to revoke the Assistant Overseer's appoint- ment. There is a difficulty as to who are the Over- seers. If no Parish Council was elected this year, it seems to us that very probably no Overseers were appointed in the ordinary way, and the power of appointment therefore passed to the Guardians. Have they made any appointment, and if not, why not ? We advise you to be very careful to make sure that the persons who are acting as Overseers have been properly appointed. If they have not, all the rates are possibly invalid. As soon as you have got a properly-elected Parish Council, you can at once re- voke the Assistant Overseer's appointment, and if you will let us know how the persons now acting as Over- seers were appointed, or under what authority they claim to act, we will say whether we think they are acting with lawful authority. We beg to offer a word of warning to the Assistant Overseer; he is merely the servant of the Overseers, and all the books that he has, he holds as their servant, and he is bound to produce those books to the Overseers. As to the liability of the surety, we cannot form any opinion without seeing the deed by which he became bound.
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WILLIAM CAFFYN is the only one alive of the first English team that visited Australia. He stayed behind for a few years, and laid the foundation of Australian cricket. He is now close on 70 years of age, and is in receipt of a small pension from Surrey. INSURANCE against blindness is an actual fact. Those between the ages of 16 and 45 can insure for 3s. per annum. Should they go blind they receive £ 52 » year by quarterly instalments for as long a period as such blindness shall continue,
THE KHYBER PASS BY MOONLIGHT.
THE KHYBER PASS BY MOONLIGHT. Almost every visitor to the North-West frontier of India obtains a permit to go through the Khyber Pass as far as Ali Musjid, the news of whose evacua- tion has been received; but it h only (a lady tra- veller, writing in the Daily Telegraph, says) on special and rare occasions that the much greater privilege of proceeding to the extreme British outpost of Lundi Kotal is accorded. The actual boundary of delimita- tion between ourselves and Afghan territory lies about a mile further still, at Lundi Khana, and beyond this the favoured recipient of the pass granted by Colonel Warburton, the Political Officer of the Khyber, undertakes upon honour not to attempt to go. As one of the few of my sex who have been able, within the past two years, to accomplish the journey to Lundi Kotal, it may not be without interest, at the present juncture, to describe the fort, particularly as I enjoyed the sight of the Pass in the intense silence of moonlight. Only on Tuesdays and Fridays are the Kaflahs, or camel processions, from Peshawur to Jellalabad and Cabul allowed to enter at Jamrad. As this is some 10 miles from the busy bazaar and the vast lairs given over to the camels and their owners in the city, it is a usual practice to camp for the night in a large enclosure near the fort. The reason of this regula- tion is that on these two days the Khyber Police are posted in the block-houses on the hills, and at intervals along the way, for even in these days there was a possibility of raids upon the caravans on the part of hillmen, and this, of course, is a great assurance of safety. A somewhat notable little party was it with which I went, as it included Miss Lilias Hamilton, M.D., Physician to the Court of the Ameer the English nurse whom she was taking back with her to Cabul to assist her in her medical respon- sibilities and Mr. and Mrs. Clemence, the former being Veterinary Surgeon and Master of the Horse. Miss Hamilton is now in England, but the others are all in Cabul, constituting, with Sir Sal er Pyne and Mr. Clemence's two children, the whole- of the English colony in Afghanistan. With us, too, was Colonel Radcliff, who took the expedition as a little holiday, after the exertions of directing the Com- missariat Department of the last Chitral Campaign. Ali Musjid looms out rather imposingly after the miles of very gradually rising ground, and stands nearly 2500ft. above the sea level. All the rocks are stony, bare and brown, dotted here and there with scrub bushes and coarse grass, but below the hill on which it stands a little stream winds down. The glare off the rocks is intense, and, after an experience of how trying it is to the eyes, no one would attempt the journey a second time without shaded glasses. It is almost immediately after Ali Musjid that one passes the most striking scenery of the pass, for the ascent becomes suddenly much more marked, and for a short distance the rocks rise sharp and sheer above one's head, while a low stone parapet is all there is between oneself and destruction should the pair of hardy, country-bred ponies in the light tunr-turn or dog-cart take fright. The road in present use is a comparatively modern one, and has an easier gradient than the original one constructed by Mackeson after the first Aghan campaign. For a time it follows a mountain river-bed, coming out upon a high, sandy plateau, where, after a mile or two, the fortified serais or resting-places for native travellers are first seen. The Fort of Lundi Kotal is a very large, low, rectangular structure built of mud, and suggesting immense strength. It is garrisoned by a large contingent of the Khyber Rifles-at the present time about 300 strong-under command of Colonel Aslam Khan, a charming and courteous gentleman, descended from the former ruling dynasty of Afghanistan and whose honourable service in the British interests has brought him decorations of which he is justly proud. All told, the Khyber Rifles number 800 infantry and 30 mounted men, these latter being armed with the carbine, sabre, and lance. The pay of the infantry is nine or 10 rupees a month, and their uniform is a workmanlike one of kharki, provided by themselves to a regulation pat- tern. The troopers get 26 rupees a month, and pro- vide keep for their horse. Everything is in most spick-and-span order within the fort, and its com- mandant gladly shows his English visitors how well all is kept. And in bidding farewell to the intrepid travellers for Cabul, whose mounted escort was awaiting them at the frontier, and in seeing the pathetic little cemetery with the graves of the English victims to cholera in 1879-80, time sped fast, and there was even deliberation as to whether a return would be permitted the same evening. I was quite unprepared for detention in a Khyber fort for three nights, until the next open day," and the native syces had made all their arrangements as to relays of ponies with view to returning the same evening. Even- tually Colonel Aslam Khan thought there would be no undue danger if each dog-cart was furnished with two of the infantry men as convoy, and he impressed upon us all earnestly the advisability sf passing Ali Musjid before sundown. But this we did not achieve. The swift Eastern twilight came down, and was followed by the most perfect full moon, whose unclouded silvery light threw everything into mysterious beauty. Where there was darkness and sterility before was now indefinite shadow, and the hills gained in grandeur and ruggedness. The loneliness was complete, and there was not a sound to be heard save the dull run of our wheels and the ponies' hoofs. Only once did the escort sit up a little straighber, giving an asser- tive click to their rifles, and that was as we passed one of the very few villages that are within sight of the road. But we were only the objects of some interested speculation on the part of the men who left heir fires to see what could possibly be passing so late in the evening. The same drive would probably be more exciting and less poetically beautiful to-night than it was in that perfect autumn evening, when the one solitary episode that occurred to interrupt any meditations was a rather smart detection by the escort, who stopped the carriage to take in charge a man driving a pack of donkeys laden with pome- granates, whose intention was to evade under cover of the night the small toll levied at Jamrad on all mer- chandise brought this way into India."
MAD DOGS.
MAD DOGS. Mr. J. P. Haines, of the Society for the Preven- tion of Cruelty to Animals, has an interesting article about mad dogs in Our Animal Friends. In his general conclusions, he says It is supposed that a mad dog dreads water. It is not so. The mad dog is very likely to plunge his head to the eyes in water, though he cannot swallow it, and laps it with did- culty. It further is supposed that a mad dog runs about with evidences of intense excitement. This also is incorrect. The mad dog never runs about in azitation; he never gallops he is always alone, usually in a strange place, where he jogs along slowly. If he is approached by dog or man, ho shows no signs of excitement, but when the dog or man is near enough he snaps and resumes his solitary trot. If a dog barks, yelps, whines, or growls it is not mad. The only sound a mad dog is ever known to emit is a hoarse howl, and that but seldom. Even blows will not extort an outcry from a mad dog. Therefore, if any dog, under any circumstances, utters any other sound than that of a hoarse howl, that dog is not mad. It is generally believed that the mad dog froths at the mouth. It is not so. If a dog's jaws are covered or flecked with white froth, that dog is not mad. The surest o- all signs that a dog is mad is a thick and ropy brown mucous clinging to his lips, which he often tries vainly to tear away with his paws or to wash away with water. If your own dog is bitten by any other dog, watch him carefully. If he is infected by rabies, you will discover signs of it possibly in from six to 10 days. Then he will be restless, often getting up only to lie down again, changing his position impatiently, turn- ing from side to side, and constantly licking or scratching some particular part of his head, limbs, or body. He will be irritable, and inclined to dash at other animals, and he will sometimes snap at objects which he imagines to be near him. He will be excessively thirsty, lapping water eagerly and often. Then there will be glandular swellings about his jaws and throat, and he will vainly endeavour to rid himself of a thick, ropy, mucous discharge from his mouth and throat. If he can, he will probably stray away from home and trot slowly and mourn- fully along the highway or across country, meddling with neither man nor beast, unless they approach him, and then giving a single snap. The only excep- tion to his behaviour occurs in ferocious dogs, which, during the earlier stages of excitement, may attack any livmg object in sight. What is to be done if you happen to be bitten by a dog that is supposed to be rabid ? The best thing you can do is just to take a few vapour baths, as hot as you can bear them. The perspiration will eliminate any poison that the bite may have introduced into your system. Then endeavour to forget all about it. If you follow this simple advice, the chance" are incalculably great that you will be perfectly safe.
THE ONLY TWINS.
THE ONLY TWINS. Of Queen Victoria's 71 living descendants the only twins are the infant sons of Princess Margaret of Hesse-Cassel. The Princess is the youngest child of the Empress Frederick of Germany (Princess Royal of England), who was born on April 22, 1872, and married on January 25, 1893, to Prince Frederick of Hesse-Cassel. It will be remembered that Hesse- Cassel was united to Prussia after the war with Austria in 1866. The four sons are Frederick Wil- helm, born November 23, 1893; Maxmilian, born October 20, 1894; and the twins, Philip and Wolf- gang, born November 6, 1896.
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NZARLY three tons of stamps are dispatched daily from Somerset House.
THE CONDITION OF INDIA.
THE CONDITION OF INDIA. A Blue-book has been issued on the moral and material progress and condition of India during the year 1895-96. The work deals exhaustively with administration and legislation, local government, municipalities and sanitation, crime and justice, registration of documents, joint-stock companies, and patents and designs, finance, surveys and settle- ments, the land revenue, forests, agricultural and mineral resources, public works, post office and tele- graphs, education and literature, emigration and migration, trade and manufactures, frontier relations, Native States and Army and military operations. With regard to Beluchistan, the observations are: "The year was a dry one, and the receipts of the province, which is under direct British administra- tion, fell somewhat short of the estimates, and amounted to Rx.56,000. The Government allotment under the provincial contract was Rx.86,500. The expenditure of the year slightly exceeded the sum of these two amounts. The health of the population was good, the crops moderate, and prices higher. Settlement operations are gradually being carried out in British Beluchistan, and the payment of revenue in cash is taking the place of revenue in kind. The principal event in the agency was the death of the Jam of Las Bela, Sir Haji Jam Ali Khan, K.C.I.E. The late Jam had been at variance with his eldest son, and desired that one of his younger sons should succeed him. The succession of the eldest son, Mir Kamal Khan, was, however, recognised, and he was installed as Jam in May, 1896. The Kalat State was freed from one cause of disturbance by the death of Gauhar Khan, ex-Chief of the Jhalawan tribe, referred to in last year's statement. Sub- sequently his Highness the Khan made a tour with 120 men of his reformed troops to Mekran, confirming his authority there, and making arrangements for future administration and for collection of revenues. A garrison of 100 Sepoys was left in Kei and Panigur for the support of the Khan's Nazim. The tribal levies worked satis- factorily. The Waziris gale exceptionally little trouble during the year; and the only serious troubles in the Agency were an affray over a grazing dispute between Marris and Lunis, for which punishments were duly inflicted on the ringleaders, and a series of murders, including that of Lieut. Home, by Chuharkhel Sberanis of Loara. The out- rage arose out of the abduction in 1894-95 of a girl belonging to this tribe by the Khidderzais. The offenders in this case were also duly punished. The efforts to obtain petroleum in Beluchistan have been finally abandoned. The amount of coal raised in the Agency in 1895-96 was 21,000 tons. Two new forests were reserved for protection during the year, raising the area of State forests to 175 square miles.
A LOST ART.
A LOST ART. The World has an article on the lost art of conver- sation. We may deny, says the writer, that the loss of the elegant" conversation of a more artificial period is in any way a subject for regret; but the fact that it is lost admits of no dispute. People do not meet nowadays to "exchange ideas" and entertain one another with elaborate compliment and displays of conversational agility. They simply chatter, more often in the perfunctory discharge of the obligation to say something than because they have anything particular to say. So generally recognised, indeed, is the conversational barrenness of the time, that some ell-meaning hostesses on the other side of the Channel have positively been attempt- ing of late to come to the rescue by pro- viding each pair of the dinner guests with a supplement to the menu containing proposed topics for discussion during the repast. They have for- gotten, however, that to bring a horse to the water it is not necessarily to induce him to drink. This, how- ever, is an age of revivals, and the excellent persons who are always looking wistfully back to those good old days which were necessarily good just because they are old cannot be expected to acquiesce in our modern and no doubt limited conception of the whole duty of society in this respect. It is not surprising, therefore, that a bold suggestion has been made for restoring the vanished glories of social intercourse by the establishment of a school in which young people can be trained in those old time arts and graces of conversation which have been so long despised. It will be a great pity if an idea which pro- mises so much entertainment should be found in- capable of translation into practice. A school of the kind would certainly have a wide field of operations, and the demonstrated effects of his influence upon those who submitted themselves in good faith to its curriculum would supply an abundance of welcome comic relief at all kinds of social functions. But it seems doubtful whether due allowance has been made for the difficulties that await the founders of any such institution. To begin with, it will be neces- sary for them to first catch their pupils and a fatal unanimity of opinion among young people--always a self-satisfied race-as to the absence of any need for the reform of their conversational methods, especially on the proposed lines, is not too remotely possible to be taken into consideration. But supposing this initial obstacle to be surmounted and the pupils to be forthcoming, where are the professors to be found who are qualified to impart to them the formula; of this admittedly obsolete art? For this study, be it remembered, is no mere thing of definite rules and observances, like the etiquette of which there are in these days such shoals of more or less in- competent expounders. To be of any use at all, the instructors in this academy of social intercourse would have to teach their pupils how to converse with nimbleness of wit, elegance of expression, and grace of manner, to develop an unfailing aptitude for the retort courteous, and to turn apropos compli- ments with the delicacy and ease that came of long practice in the days of the exquisites. A class for repartee practice, for instance, conducted on modern lines, and with mere rudeness severely barred, might do something to raise conversation in the junior circles of society above its present level of slangy commonplace and childish persiflage. But if our revivalists imagine that the up-to-date young man is the sort of person who can never be induced to "give himself away by addressing the up-to-date young lady in the language of hyperbolical compliment em- ployed by the beaux of a more florid and expansive age, their faith in their mission must be robust indeed. For all that, there is no reason why those who are yearning to give us back the lost conversa- tional graces of a day that is dead should be dis- couraged from bringing their idea to the test of prac- tical experience.
FOREIGN GOODS.
FOREIGN GOODS. The Commissioners of her Majesty's Customs, in their report for the financial year ending March last, refer to the detention of merchandise im- ported from abroad under the Merchandise Marks Act. There was, they state, a considerable falling- off in the number of detentions during the year. Even now the number—4052—was large, and it might seem, having regard to the tim'e during which the Acts have been in operation, and to the vigilance with which the provisions relating to im- portation have been enforced, that the occasions for interference should have been fewer. The Act of 1887, however, imposed restraint in various ways upon the marking of foreigngoods imported into the United Kingdom. Amongst other things, goods of genuine British origin which have been exported from this country and are being brought back must be chal- lenged. This was often a cause of irksome and irritating investigation; but it could not well be avoided. It accounted for no less than 1128 out of the 3048 detentions of goods not coming through the Parcel Post in the past year. As re- gards the cases in which detention was due to marks that might have been taken to indicate British origin, and which accounted for a large proportion of the detentions of foreign goods (as distinct from British Tturned goods), the observation of the Com- missioners does not lead them to think that such indications are now often the result of a design to deceive as to the origin of the goods. They are far more commonly due to the perfectly legitimate desire to adapt the goods to the market in which they are to be sold; and if, in carrying out this object, the foreign trader sometimes fails to correct the false impression as to the origin of the goods, it may be attributed quite as much to misapprehension of the law as to a wish to evade it. For the law on this point is by no means easy to under- stand, inasmuch as it has to be gathered construc- tively from more than one section of the Act of Parliament. We cannot help thinking that it is to be regretted that the Act did not more precisely specify the offences which it created. The want of precise definition led to much difficulty and to much inconvenience to trade when the Act first came into operation. This ill-effect has now been largely cured by time, for principles of administration have been settled, and are fairly well understood by traders. But another consequence remains, viz., that large quantities of goods are superfluously marked with the name of the country of origin and there is a strong feeling that this general advertisement of foreign goods has not been of advantage to British trade.
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M. BOROYSKI, a student of Warsaw, has just obtained his diploma at the age of 75. This perse- vering son of Æsculapiu began his studies at the age of 21, but funds failed him, and he took a spell of 20 years as a tax-collector, returning then to his first love with a modest competence. Just then a Polish rising occurred, and he became implicated in it, with the result, that he was sent for life to Siberia. For 32 years he worked in the silver mines, obtaining at last, in 1895, a remission of his sentence. Losing no time, he hurried back to Warsaw, resumed the thread of his educational discourse, and is now qualified for dractice.
- FUN AND FANCY. -
FUN AND FANCY. "WHAT is the age of chivalry, Aunt Penelop*?"* "Those good old times when men fell in lovo witht Women over forty." "THE excursion boat leaves this pier, does it uot "Yes, lady. Never been known to take it yet." YOUR husband seems to be a victim of the tobacco, habit." "No I'm the victim. He thoroughly enjoy. it." Hig: I think only of you! And do you think only of me?" She: II vVhy, George, I'm arranging my trosseau EXCITED WIFE Oh, professor, the cook has fallen and broken her collar-bone." Professor: her at once. You told her what to expect, if she broke anything more." MOTHER (wishing to hurry matters): Mr. Sampson has been coming here now for three Nears. I should think he would be getting tired of inn king love to you." Daughter: I think he is. Last night he asked me to marry him." WIFE: "Why did you send the doctor away before allowing him to do anything for you ?' Hus- band The fool said he could cure me in three days. Why, I'm insured for EIO a week, and my salary's only E5. I wonder what he takes me for ?' II My good man," said the severe lady" have yoa ever stopped to think how much money is wasted each year in tobacco and rum?" No, mum, I haven't," u. answered the object. It's a -taking tl piL!l ij)y time jist now to ifgger out how many families could be supported on the price of the extra material women put in their sleeves." HUSBAND: "I think, my dear, I must consult a physician." Wife: "What for?" "For some re nedy for my dyspepsia. I have most horrid drennis at night. Better consult a veterinary surgeon." A- horse doctor ? Yes. A horse doctor should oe the best authority on nightmare." ISAACSTEIN Vot voz der cause of der fire." Burnupski Der insurance." WIIKN a camel is kept for a long time without food its hump disappears. This is where a camel dittere from a man, who, under similar circumstances, gete the hump. JACK told me last night that he had given me hie- heart." Well, it's damaged goods. He told me last week that I bad broken it. DAISY: Oh, Dolly, I have had such a nasty, spiteful, anonymous letter Dolly Whom was it from ?" Daisy: I don't know; can you guess ? The wicked creature says I am a vain, silly, frl;voloust chattering, over-dressed, empty-headed flirt." Dolly: I really can't imagine; but" (reflecting) I thinli it must be someone who knows you quite welL dearest!" A LETTER was received in New Orleans directed "To the biggest fool in New Orleans." The post- master was absent, and on his return one of the younger clerks informed him of the letter. And what became of it?" inquired the postmaster. Why," replied the clerk, I did not know who the biggesC fool in New Orleans was, so I opened the letter wy- self." "And what did you find in it?" "Why," responded the clerk, nothing but the words, Thou art the man ? BREAKLEIGH Good-bye, Miss Convent! I've en- joyed chatting with you so much. As a rule I can never talk to young girls." She (visibly pleased): Why? Do you generally find them too stupid P- He Oh, no On the contrary, they are generally too intellectual." (And he wondered why her expres- sion changed suddenly.) FIRST BOY My ma says I mustn't play with yon because your father is nothing but a boot-maker." Second Boy So's your father a boot-maker." First Boy: "Ma says he's a manufacturer. He makes thousand pairs to vour father's one nair." Second Boy Then he must be a thousand times woraO than my father. I won't play with you anv more." BOARDING SCHOOL TEACHER: And now, Edith* tell me the plural of baby." Edith (promptly): Twins." JUSTICE: "Why did you knock this man down? Did be say you were a liar?" Prisoner Worse'a that, irah be proved it." PRISON INSPECTOR: That man over there seems positively to enjoy the treadmill!" Warder Yeag sir. 'E's used to the haction. 'E was a bicycle thief." WAITER (to diner, who is absorbed in the menu): What do you wish to eat, please ?" Absent-minded Professor "I haven't time to talk now. Ask me after dinner." SUB Ob, Mr. Spouter, won't you recite for 118 this evening ?" He Really, there will be so man strangers present that—ah She:" Oh, don't mind them; they'll be gone before you're hall through." CULTURED MOTHER My dear, your sister Clara is an amateur pianist, Dora is an amateur photo- grapher, Edna is an amateur painter, and Elvira is an amateur astronomer, but you don't seem to be anything." Pretty Daughter Oh, yes, mamma, I am an amateur fiancee. Here's my first engagement ring." MANAGING EDITOR: You have not been in this business very long ?" New Reporter: No. I ana almost a novice at it." Managing Editor: ThaelF what I supposed when in youp report of the conflag- ration of Bones's stable last night you failed to call fire the red-tongued demon. Don't omit if; again." AT one of the north-country churches recently a fashionably-dressed lady happened to go into one of the private pews. The verger, who is known to be a very stern old fellow, immediateiy bustled up to her- and said I'm afraid, miss, you'll hae to cum oot OP that; this is a paid pew." Man," said the youn lady, turning sharply round, do you know who E am ? I'm one of the Fifes. I dinna care," said the old man. If you are a big drum you'll hae to cum oot!" MISS PASSEE I assure you I have lived only 18 short years." Old Grumpy Where were you tho rest of the time ?" DOCTOR: "I would advise you to take a walk every morning before breakfast." Sappy: "But, doctor, I—ah—never get up till after bweakfaat, y'know." A GENTLEMAN at a dinner party of distinguished foreigners (so the story runs) was about to respond tOI a toast, when he was seized with a sudden and con- tinued fit of sneezing. No sooner had he recovered than a Russian gentleman seated at the table, named Gatcheecheekoff, extended his hand and compli- mented him on his excellent pronunciation of the Russian language. GEORGIE, I'm glad to see that you are polite and offer sister the oranges first." Yes'm—'cause them she has to be polite, an' take th' little one." 1 SAY, landlord, your food is worse than it was last year Impossible, sir A SERVANT-GIRL, writing home to her parents, said I am sorry I have no money to buy a stamp for this letter. I will put two on the next. You can always tell a bachelor by noticing whether he carries a baby most like a lighted lamp or an old overcoat. ACTOR: Are these poor relations of yours blood relations ?" Fulpurse Yes; they are ever bleeding me." SOIE folks," remarked a coloured philosopher, don't 'pear ter take no pride ia speakin' de troof, ceppin' when it's gwine ter hurt somebody's feelin's."1 A MAN has the name of Stealing, and he hates iti He thought to soften matters a little for his only child, a daughter, so he gave her the Christian name ) of Worth. ) CIIAPPIE: "Averted tewwible twagedy just now." Chollie: "No How?" Chappie: "Man said he'd pound me to mincemeat if I didn't give him half it crown, and I gave him half a crown." FIRST DENTIST The fact is, I've got gentleness down io such a fine point that all my patients go too sleep while I'm pulling their teeth." Second Dentist = That's nothing! Mine are beginning to have their photographs taken while I operate, because they always have such pleasant expressions on their faces." MRS. DE STYLE We have forgotten about baby's cards." Mr. de Style: Cards ?" Mrs. do j Style Certainly. To be in the fashion we must have cards with the baby's name and the date of his birth and send them to our friends, so that they will know that we have a baby." Mr. de Style Oh, they will know it fast enough if they pass this house any time between midnight and morning." HERE is a good story of the dangers of giving gratuitous information. A servant wounded her hand with the prong of a fork. In reply to her mistress's inquiries she explained that she was very nervous lest the wound should become inflamed, am she believed the fork to be nickel-plated. Oh, yon may set your mind at ease on that score," replied tha, mistress, those forks are all silver." The next morning forks and servant were missing. THE sleeping partner is generally the member oe the firm whose money talks for him. MRS. BoARMM: How do you find the chicken- u r' ■ ^oar^er ?" Mr. Boarder: "I have no- dimculty in finding the soup, madam, but I ant inclined to think that the chicken will be able to prove an alibi." BANK DEFAULTER I would give ten years of my life to get out of this scrape." His Lawyer That's- about what you will get if I don't succeed in getting, you off." HE: "I have called on you seven years, Mi- Waite. All this time I have passionately loved you. To-morrow or the next day I shall probably come up- and ask you to marry me. What will you say f" Mia» Waite (confused): Oh, this is so sudden!" WAITER (at 11 p.m.): There is a lady outside who says tbtJ; her husband promised to be home early to-night." All (rising): "Excuse me for a moment."