Denbighshire Free Press

WIT AND RUMOn "fie lias quite a line of ancestors, but they were all taildre," I see. A clothes line." How-so: Why don't you take a wife, old man ? Cainso: 11 Her husband might object. "I see that your coachman has left yoi; Jokely." Yes. I was one of the things he couldn't steal." Editor (at home): Is there any of that sauce you made for the cabinet-pudding left!. Wife: "1 believe so, dear. Why?" Editor: I'm right out of gUm." Jones: Heaven bless him 1 He showed confidence iu me when the elouda were dark and threatening." Robinsou; lu wliat way!r Jones: He lent me an um)veUa.H- ■ Traveller: "Who was'thafc man whom I | overheard denouncing the new town ball as a f death trap ? Village 3 £ erchaut: That wa* the architect who didn't plan it." Mistress: Why, Bridget, what on earth are you doing; with all the broken dishes on the ahelf ? Bridget: Sure, mum, yez told me Oi wur to replace every one Oi broke*" Miss Gushingfcou: "How did you feel when you found that the ship would surely go down in ten minutes ? Captain Salted: 1 felt for a life preserver." Barber: "You say-you have been here before ? I don't seem to remember your face." Victim: "Probably not. It is all healed up now." May: "What a haughty-looking fellow." Elsie: "Yes; but I'll bring him to my feet some day." Why, what have you against him ? Nothing. He is a chiropodist. You don't love me any more, John. The idea of getting I)omv at- this time of night 1" Why, niy dear, it's -u'great'dtiitl earlier than I used to get home.while I was courting- you/» Cobwigger: "Didn't you think it rather foolish for her to ask you if her hat were on straight?" Merritt: 44Ifo. It was in a rail- way train, and we bad just come out of a long tunnel." The FiancS: "I am surprised at you I I taw you flirting with her." The Pinned: "I swear, Priscilla, you are mistaken. Beauty has no charms—never had any ctiarins-for nie," Her Little Brother (holding up the cat): Say Boo'' Mr. Smith." Mr; Smith: What for, Bobby?" Her Little Brother*: "1 want to know it you can. Sister says you can't say Boo to a eat.' W.: Mudge tells,m* he had a tough time of it during bis holiday. Says he lrad to borrow to get home with." Y.: He was in better luck than I was, for I was the man who had to lend it to him." She: "George, I see by the papers that a general tie-up has been ordered in the building trades." JIe:" Well, whwt of it!" She: Er-um-dou't you think it would be a good tiaw for tie to fall into I ibe) George ? "'Tis love that makes tlie world go round," he quoted softly, taking her hand. Yes, Harold," she murmured, withdrawing her hand with inexpressible sadneee, but it won't keep the pot boiling" ChoHy HnntingduSt: "How much do you charge for boats an liour ? Old Tar: One shillhig an hour for negular rowin', five bob extra, ef yer want ter-upset th' boat an' save tli'.lady's life." Commuter: "What do you, mean by saying that that liouse is only the minutes' walk from theftatitm ? It's fifteen mmutes if it's a second." Beal Estate Dealer: Wheil 1 suid five minutes I supposed you had a bicycle." "My expenditures never exceed my receipts," said Itawkifts. Mine do," sighed Wilkins. "In fact, I am very much afraid I shall never have nity, rwseipte for som e of my last yeaf's expenditures." Judge: If you know of any mitigating cir- cumstance you are at liberty to state it." Prisoner: "I don't know of any except that I took to stealing because I didn t wan't t# loaf around/the street corners jiud be taken for a detective." Pompano (a studetit of human nature): I am much interested in your friend, Miss Redingote. I see in her face the shadow of a great sorrow, the weight of a dark secret, or, can it be remorse ? Ponge (olllr an ordinary man): Perliaps it is a tight SIKW." di Tti-is weather is very tn'iug for everybody," aid the physician. "Yes," replied Mr. Meekton, 1 don't see how my wife is going to hear- up utivier- it. When the sun doesn't shine it, gives her the blue*, and when it does she says- ifce fading the curvet." Yabeler: "Say I Wften a feilow (mlls on a girl should he leave his lint and cane in the lmll' or t#tke them into the parlour ? Mudge Weil; if the girl is living in a boarding-house, and the hat and cane nre worth anything, I think he had better hang on to there." Mistress returned from her summer voca- tion, to her cook): I hear tliat you have been entertaining your soldier lover here. Didn t I forbid yotir entertaining company in the kitchen during my absence?" Cook: Yes, madam, but I took him to the parlour.

MH$Getting the house ready for summer ? visitors? Then you win be wanting | gaT 9 /V 1 1 IN! S your Curtains, Hatlglttgrs, and other Hou&ehold Draperies nicely cleaned || 'SpKbBV V u 'W' &L an<j freshened up for the Seasen. make a speciality of this class of work, and with our low prices, high-class work, careful handling of goods, and prompt jk despat-ch, we always succeed in pleasing our customers. L J&j$k Send us your Order-or write for PRICE LIST, FREE. Im. | /Tj DARTB¥ B¥i WffiEIS, (u^LSl) S > UPPER RATHMINES, DUBLIN. 0m NOTE :-Goods ritwntd CARRIAGE PAID if his Paper is named fu.

CYCLINQ riOTES. I -0:- The chcliT) Arneri-ait motor-sic-ycle aas made its appearance ou like marke*. A periodical inepe«<io« of JMr typeg, wifch the view of removing donee and repairing cats, will extend life cooaklerafely. And in this connection, n, cyclist should never be: without a Dunlop Midget repair cutlit. If solution and other materials are on the spot, the job is not so likely to be left undone. It is very important after oiling up or cleaning a.machine, to see that the iubricators are ail well closed; or otherwise, not only will the oil run-out, but the dusc will get into the btvurin^B, which ts very detrimental to the running of a machine. A feature of this season's cycle trade, is the hlrge increase ill the mimcer of ladies machines sohi. Never before has the trade bad so many orders for this class of machine, which is a good omen for the continued popularity of cycling. Machines left uiial tezided in the streets and other pnbjic places, are sometimes subjected to wilful and malicious damage by boys punc- turing the tyres. It is interesting however, 1 to note, that should the cyclist be fortunate enough, to catch the culprit, he can institute proceedings against hirn for redress. It is intended to give a complimentary dinner to Dr. E. B. Turner, on his retirement from the chairmanship of the general committee of the N.C.U. The dinner will be held after the championship meeting at Plymouth, on June 21st, and the Union's gold badge of honour will be presented to him then. Cycling is Increasing in the land of the Chinese, and the few agents there are doing a grand business. In tho Italian Consul's re- port,, the country is pictured as an ideal place for the wheel, and although the roads are good, communication between the towns and villages is much behind the times, and the rich and poor alike are taking to the wheel in large numbers. In spite of the frequent warning given in the cycling papers and the cycling columns of the outside press respecting the danger of only having one brake fitted to a free wheeled cycle, many cyclist still continue to risk their lives in this way. We do not wish to convey the im- pression that one brake is not powerful enough to hold a cycle -in, for it is, but where the danger exists, is in the event of a brake failing, a wheelman would then have no control over his machine unless there was another brake to fall back on. In many cases the guarantee of a cycle or a tyre is perhaps not worth the paper upon which it is written.r lit detding, however, with the best cyclo and- tsre firms; the cyclist is in this respejt on safer grounds. It has been par- ticularly notieeuble how that the Dunlop Tyre Company, for instance, has observed the terms of its guarantee, many rider- speaking loudly in praise of the treatment they have received from the Company. Judging from the good reports which one hears of Dunlop tyres, the Company is not often called upon under its guarantee, but still it is satisfactory to know I that when it is, it fully atvd- liberally observes its undertaking. The touriugcyclist hits.more opportunities of judging the catering capabilities of country inn proprietors- thtwi anyone, and naturally he sees groat variety in the food and the manner iu which it is served up, and .kID in the charges- made Sor the Mime. There are hardly two inns alike in this respect. The house with the moat uninviting:exterior often supplies better food than the iuu with uii slaboriiV front and I lavishly painted interior. In uur opinion, the modern publican does not make suliicient udy of the requirements of cyclists. A bar t ude is ad very well, but imagine the profit yielded in supplying. teas to large bodies of cyclists on a Saturday aiternoon. Surely this chiss of trade is worthy of attention. Anyone who has a liking for dumb animals, particularly dogs, will admit that these gener- ally affectionate creatures are occasionally tortured by being made to run for long dis- nwices behind their muster's bicycle. Cycling is btich extremely elisy work-.Lb%t an additional I nnie or so to a tired nder is nothing, but to a dOI, which has already run to a state of ex- haustion, it is the worst kind of cruelty, inas- much, as tha faithful animal will hang on to j his so long as- it has an atom of Strom.th left. The tendency of dog owners is to take their pets for distances far too long; ihe milts is quite far enough, and this should not be at a greater speed than six or seven miles an hour. The best advice, however, is to leave your dog at home when cycling, and treat it to some lesn violent e-xereisek au.ot tier day. The- Roada Improvement Association are working hard with the view of producing sooje much requited improvements iu our. higb" wttvs. Amotion, which the Hon. A. Stasiey, I M.P., mis placed upon the agenda paper;of the Iioiine of Commons, calls- attention to theentire suspension of road-building activity mdSmglaud Hiid Walts since the abolition of the iturn- pike Acts; to the congestion of traffic, and of population in lar Umns by reason Qf the fact that no new trunk roads through nnd out of ti;em bu\e been cQnstlöuctedJor several gener- ations; to the growing difficulty and increasing cost of transporting goods by road and their nerioun elYeci iitx,;i the industrial efficiency of the and to movet-—That in the opinion of this Mouse immediate steps should be taken to ijicJ't;ite the construction lJfllew trunk roads. Vufcii hy, private enterprja* a*td, publkic author/ties. ■ nil ■

MINT-LUMIRE, KM DINARD9 BRITTMY. HOTEL DE PARIS. i £ !nt-elMaFiuoily HrUl Facia* tito Be*. B»tbin«!n Imt 0tmout. Ii»wnl%aaifc NiwttiraMiiiCWMifa. NEW BOOK.. NOW READY. CONSUMPTION, OR pulmonary TUBERCULOSIS AND.. ITS SU<3CESSFJUL- TREATMENT, With Short Chapters on other Diseases: of the Luag!k By GEO. "THOS. CONGREVE. An Entirely New Edition, Edited and Re-written By Jt AUHfAHMtt BnftWft. SIXPBHCJSs I?oakigoe -from Contra jjOD&K, Prc&qak, Loxpox, 8, £ CQNGREUE'S ELIXIR. Sold by aU Chemists and Patent Medicine Vendors.

HE MOVED UP. An Irish conductor on a certain tramway line cane into his-car one day find cnlled out, "Wan seat on the roight! Sit closer on the r(Agitt, all' mek room fur tile leddy ;L)llwttt,s standing." A big, surly-looking man, who was occu- pying space enough tor two, said sullenly, We can't sit any closer." Can't, yeez?" l'et;ortd the little conductor begorra, you niver wint coortin', thin." Needless to add, room was at once made.

JOB'S ADVANTAGE. Mr. Dry winter sat by the stove, with his flice bandaged, groaning horribly, and his wife endeavoured to console him. Have patience, Charles. Murmuring and h-eeting will do no good, llemeuiber Job—he had patience." 11 Yes, but. he never had his teeth extracted by the painless process."

KNEW BETTER THAN THE DOCTOR. Amongst the good stories told of Dr. Mack, an army surgeon in Australia, is one illustrate ing the confidence in hiui of the pitman under his care. An explosion occurred one day in the mine, and the doctor was hastily summoned. Astlis men were raised from the mine depths he felt their pulse and sought for indications of life. As he rose from examining one poor fellow, saying "Dead," the supposed deceased man said distinctly: Nay, Oi baiu't dead." One of the miners standing by golve the speaker a kick with his boot and said Haud t,h' tongue, Rob. Dost tliiikk tle knows better than t'doctor, mon ?

AN UNSOLVED PRO BLEU. He: It is singular that those cookery books give no information concerning t,lit most important matter connected with couk. ing." She: II What is that?" He: "flow to keep a cook." Customer: "The missus wants some eggi bad." JNew Clerk: "J.doJl't think we linvo any very bad eggs, ma'am."

Not able to Eat for a Week at a time. VICTORIA HOTEL, PLATT BRIDC-C, Near WIGAN, Nov. iiih, isgo. GENTLEMEN,—I am happy to inform you that I have received grea* benefit by using "Gwilym Evans' Bitters," after suffering a long time from Biliousness. I had become very weak, and.so nervous that if any one spoke in a loud tone-I was much frightened. I have been so bad that I was not able to eat for a week at a time. I tried" Gwilym Evajis' Quinine Bit- ters," and the first bottle did me a deal of good, so I got another, and am happy to say I am now quite well. I shall always speak well of these BitteFS" to all persons that I know. Yours truly, (Mrs.) BAXTER.

WHERE BRIDES AltB-MAXP.W BY WRIQBT.N Throughout the empire ofmorooeo,iiii,ilb funis, there are villages whare the elder m £ D»* bers of the adult population fellow profession* illy the pursuit of rattening the youngJaditft lor the matrimonial market of BacbmT. The Moors, like the Turks and noW ether, Orientals, give a decided prefetWKB to u mooufa.cett" wives over lean ewes, and are more solicitous as to the number pf pounds which their brides weigh ttimi abottt tbe stock of accomplishments they.possess. A girl is put under the process of fsbt-emng when she is about twelve years of-Mp. Her hafcds are tied behind her, and 8he is seated on carpet during so many hours every dfey, while her "papa" stands over her wiUi a matrcique, or big stick, and her mother at times pops into her mouth a ball of; comimivm, ae stiff maize porridge, kneaded, up with grease, antd just large enough to be,wallowed without the patient choking. If the unfortunate girl declinee to be staffed, she is compelled; so that ere long the peo* girl resigns herself to the torture, Met gulps down the boluses lest she shomld be bee.t/e«i. In Brazil corpulence is also oen«dereA tUe essential point of female beauty, mA the greatest compliment that o«n be paid to a raziliao lady is to tell her th«t ahergwtt fatter anddirirer every day.

TO PREVENT SHORTSIGHWEWTBSS. To prevent ahortsiglitednee^ msmiixiss a medical man, it is well to usetbe-eyee«e»MM*' as possible every day in locking, at Wtim" f&r away. The clouds, the sky, distant teeee and forests may be often very profitable iobita of observation. Sailing; on the water eepecwliy useful to strengthen the eyes and preveirt abocte^htedtvess; aaiiem Are uaawlly long sighted. With those who live m tijis, is easy, but people m towns awl eiMw get oareiess in this mpeet. It takeB ..fI. a great deal of pleasure in We net to be able to S tilings weilit) thedistaace j« IMti a* NeUl. The eyes are injured by night work, tuul also by loss of sleep. One of the best remedies for weak eyes is ulento of aim)- Lodge: 44 Tlti*. front all appearance*, is an euteiprising Unvu." Htxtge: From what agg) £ <ua*«t«>r P<«y ? ]<odge 11 IVelf, the ilutuber 0-i Imttp-postf, fol, iiistaliw." Hodge: u How do you figure out Uiat Utey ave ptooie of enfceipme ?" 11 IÇuily enongb M»ey dewMMMtiate fchut the nude citizens have visible means of tmpport." "Then," and her eyes soughl" ihe UWA embers of the dying fire, you mewot kind us 11 liushanil should 00. You never gire Me a jewels." M Jewels 1" and his basse voice seemed to POllie (rQUI liti hea^J,. Yell -it"* tv". jewelis ? I A IIYIHItS with diamond 6, ivilty Hps, nttd feet h of pear) III( fw jewels Why, (foe rarest jewels gold cottid boy,.wouid only be sit lwt atiolls." Then, for the hist lime for days, she kissed him. II So you've deeided not to b»y Lod I]aidi)p]KR's oftHUertil"ve Y*Mk ? 11 Yes,i, sn-iii M't. Nevvrxi^s he w««»ied tiO include 10,000 bottles of old- wine at h«lf a sovereign a bottle, and adiuitl^d tliftt sea/e (if it wafttfotty 3 evtmitld. Why, I cm get it right fi-oiii tike clitLt, -T" M What," cried the orator fiercely, what, I !isk( causes poverty ? And frot« the hack of die hrtll a hoarse vtitce answered: "L«ck of I iash J" r found a package of letters in the street yesterday." "Did yrm udvertiso theml" Yes, I told my wife."

Keep Cool and Healthy ) J by drinking regularly I ) "Montserrat" ( ,n, erra ) Lime-Fruit Juice I which is universally admitted to be the purest and best, being f M pressed from the juice of cultivated Limes grown in the 'famous | Island of Montserrat. J Dr. Inman mentions that neither tartaric acid, nor citric acids, nor £ 1 lemon juice can be substituted for the real Lime-Fruit Juice. Hence f a the powders and chemical crystals now advertised for making S instantaneous lemonade and substitutes for Lime Juice have not ,lie # real thirst-quenching properties of "MONTSERRAT" Lime-Fruit Juice, ( I and have no healthful effect. I i The Public are warned against the many cheap imitations on the 1 market. Lime Juice Cordial is now a fashionable as well as i J a healthful beverage, but the approved brand is the | B Montserrat" Ltmettn Cordial. Strongly recommended | as a healthful beverage by the Medical Profession. | j "Montserrat") ( Lime-Kruit juice } I "Jyfonfserrat" Xime-fruit Juice Cordials are sold by J 1 Grocers, Chemists and Wine Jtferchanis everywhere. I

I RURAL LIFE. < BY A SON OF THE SOIL. A SACK-LIFTKK AND SIIOOTEB. For the past twenty years the appliance of which I give an illustration has been very largely used by all tradesmen handling quanti- j ties of grain or flour, and still at least one such man has never heard of it, for I have received an application for particulars. It is made by a west-Midlands firm, and can be used as a sack- lifter only, a loader, or as a shooter, the latter being shewn in the illustration. It can be t COMBINED" SACX-LIFTBR AND SHOOTSR. geared for lifting almost any ordinarv weight, a cheaper form being for lifting up J fCWt. only; whilst, if the sack-lifter alone is what is required, a considerable reduction can be obtained. It is made with what is known as the A frame, which secures great stability with lightness and simplicity. SFKAYIJF G. In a few days the fruit ttee blossom will have fallen. This opportunity should be taken to spray the trees. An application of the sprayer to apple trees at intervals of every one or two weeks as soon as bloom has fallen will help keep the codlin-moth at bay. Where aphis is at all prevalent the seed beds occupied by young cabbage and other plants should be sprayed before planting out takes place. One part of kerosene to twenty of water is of suitable strength to apply. As these two liquids will not readily mix, constant agitation must be given at spraying time. For gooseberries and currants Bordeaux mixture should be applied abeut every fortnight whilst necessary. A sufficient period must elapse, however, before picking the fruit, as the spraying mixture is poisonous. Bordeaux mixture is also useful for blight on potatoes. The plants should be sprayed when about 6in. high, and afterwards every fortnight. Bordeaux mixture is, composed of 61b. of sulphate of copper dissolved in a wooden vessel in two gallons of hot water. Slake 41b. of quicklime and put it in ten gallons of water, and after- Wards strain and mix- with the first solution. Add water up to about fifty gallons. Thinness of the solution is very essential, otherwise the fine nozzle of the sprayer will become choked. Be sure to strain carefully through a fine mesh. ÐOUDU: CALF-TROUGkt AND RACK. My Pershore correspondent need not go very far for the trough and rack inquired about, as a Worcester firm makes a very good imitation of the one he saw in the Lowlands of Scotland. I TROUGH AND RACK. )1 I append pn illustration. It is made of galvanised ¡ sheet iron, fitted with strong angle iron frames, and mounted on safety wheels. All the bars belonging to the rack are of wrought iron.

Top-DRESSING CICUMBKRS. Unless this is quickly taken in hand plants soon go off. The heavy lianying crop, even if not many best are cutting, takes away the strength faster than it can be made under ordinary conditions. Thoee who have ready at hand a heap of well- decayed farmyard manure and loam now reap its full benefit, as such soil is a good plant feeder. Not only is the manure a feeder, but it permeates the soil or loam and is thus a good new root factor. The vast amount of water given to the border impoverishes the soil even though there is the variation of liquid- manure feeding. Avoid thick dressings, a layer of lin. being preferable to a deeper one. The aim and idea is to secure continuous root action and feeding, and this surface dressing, com- bined with close cutting of the fruit and strict, attention, to details, in stoppiug and tying, are the main points in cucumber growing. Foliage, j also, is improved by top-dressing through the increase of root action, and there is also a certain amount of atmospheric feeding arisiiig from this fresh top-dressing mixture, which is eagerly swallowed up by foliage. With prices 1 oioer than possible summer prices, it behoves the grower to be on the alert to secure a good crop iu the quickest possible time. Ox ]<'I¡ HALLS. The very artistic novelties introduced by Messrs. Cwter and Co., and known as fern balls, are. wonderfully pretty things. 1 am not at all surprised to"hear of their d' .0001Bg exceed- ingly large. They are made in ( > ent des»gny, laokiiug. alispst ilike great hmil" of peat arid wicker, but, after treatment as appended, tltey gradually develop into the beautiful orna- mental "plant as illustrated, this particular one Wing in its second year's growth. The method of cultivation is as follows: Soak the whole -u_ We've got a family ooat-of-arms." flull 1 That's notlliu'-jiet tiJ'o ariusi We've got a family skeleton 1" I FEKN BALL. < design for an hour or two, in rain water if possible. Let it drain, then hang up in green- house or window. It should be taken down and watered two or three times a week, and kr' always moist according to the dryness of the atmosphere in which it is placed. In due time it will throw out a mass of dainty fronds. The fronds are very pretty, and will remain in luxuriance through the summer; they will turn yellow in autumn and drop off. The fern should be kept in a dry state during the winter months. Fresh fronds will come again with renewed vigour when watered in the following spring. Keep away from frost and gas as much as pos- sible for early results it is best to, start the growth in a greenhouse or conservatory. The tern elephant and fern seal were most successful last year. THE STTIAWBKHRY PROSPECT. The present is an anxious time for the straw- berry grower, says a writer in Gai-dening Illustrated. During the past winter there have been some severe spells of cold weather, which seemed to deal harshly with the outdoor beds, but the present prospects are very promising, judging from the freedom of their spring growth and the vigorous flower-trusses nestling in the crowns. I have recently given a moderate soaking of undiluted liquid-manure to the beds. Poured on between the rows of plants, this gravitates to the roots, enriching the soil to the depth occupied by them. I have for many years practised this with evident advantage. It is particularly on light soils where the value of this manure irrigation is apparent, but, of course, any land is the better for being well stored with stimulating food. Liquid-manure may be derived from the farm tanks, stables, piggeries, or from tanks provided for the reception of house sewage. Unless these means exist, there is no advantage in making liquid- manure artificially. Young plants at the present time shew the greatest promise of future fruit, and which, it must be said, are always the most profitable, because their fruits ripen early and are finer than in the case of old plants. Strawberry plants that have been forced in pots, if well cared for afterwards, until they can be planted in the garden, will fruit well the following year. Such plants give a heavy crop of medium-steed berries. Some gardeners deal thus with their forced stock of strawberries, while others prefer to throw them away and depend on the open-air beds for their stock. With abundance of strong runners in July and August for planting after potatoes or other summer crops, there is to me a gain of time and space by discarding the forced stock and devoting time and attention to the autumn runners. In small gardens, perhaps, planting a portion of the forced stock would be an advantage, because of the larger yield given subsequently. BLIGHTED PLUM-TREES. The prevalence of cold winds and frosty, nights- I has brought about an attack of aphides on plum- trees, which is a customary outcome of such weather. It is not a good plan to allow these intruders to go unmolested, for, with the amazing increase in their numbers from day to day, they soon inflict serious mischief on the tree unless quickly dealt with. The Abol insecticide is calculated to quickly destroy aphis on fruit-trees and plants, and so will compound quawi* extract or tobacco-water. The latter, however, though effective, is most offensive and disagreeable in its smell and deposit on the leaves and fruit, and for that reason has gone very much out of use. Both quassia and Abol insecticides are cheap, economical, easily mixed with cold soft water, and effective in destroying insect life. The Abol syringe is an implement that every fruit- grower should possess, because it not only makes effective work by the fineness of its spray, but a small quantity of liquid is made to go far for the same reason. With ordinary syringes treble the quantity ot insecticide is used that is neces. sary for the purpose, and as the Abol syringe is inexpensive it comes within reach of amateurs as well as gardeners. Anyone possessed of one of these little syringes will not readily, give it up. An alternative, in the event of- there being no insecticide at hand, is to go over-the trees ana pick on the curled leaves which envelop the insects. It this is done at the earliest period of attack, it would greatly assist in keeping down their numbers. This, however, is only^recom- mended as a temporary remedy .pending the application of an insecticide. It is a good plan to keep a little store of some kind of insecticide, so that when the necessity arises for its use there is no delay. When trees are attacked by aphis, and they have to wait for remedial measures to be applied, they become so hopelessly crippled that there is both a loss of vigour and 01 ten a crop too before it can be stopped. Trees otanykind that are allowed to be over-ridden with insects, even if they flower, will fail to bear a crop. Thus it is seen how important it is to at once deal with insects in a practical manner. AN EGG-BATING FOWL, Hens shut up and heated in body, unable to obtain that which Nature provides them when at liberty, eat any strange and even unnatural thing. I can only recollect having one or two such cases, and they arose when the birds were confined in small sitting-boxes and only liberated once a day. No doubt a confirmed egg-eater would, if she were ever entrusted with a batch of eggs, demolish most of them. If in future one lets broodies have nests that Me airy but dark, and so arranged that they can get off their eggs when they feel inclined, they will not take to eating eggs. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. F. H. C. (Kent).—The sprayer can be obtained of Cannell and Sons, Swanley, Kent, "JII'#. Inquiries concerning appliance- illu&tratec referred to in this column should be addresse to "A Son of the Soil," care of the. Editor of th journal. Replies will be given iu "Answers t Correspondents," or, if a stamped addressed j envelope is enclosed, the required information will be forwarded by post. j

COLEMAN'S | "THE FIESTTOSiCw THEWOBID. j NORWICH & LOHBON. -=- J

Paterfamilias: Clara, I seo Miaf '.hf front j gate is down this njorning" Un. c'le3, papa; you know love levels all tilings/' I Quericus: What reason have you for thinking he is so rich?" Cynieun: Hit- shildren object to his second marvicge. Self-praise goes but little abrooa." It is this very domesticity -*vlkicli mike, alarm- I ing. We don't want it to visit any one else. "The rich," said a Dutchman, explaining his liking for mutton, eat venison ben,se i. ¡t. ieer. I eat mutton because it is]) v t. It is a sign that her hu>band in ntJeing money when a woman begins to get D e look an her face of looking at you Lt seeing you. De Jinks: "Here's a nice I picked ) it out especially for you." Merrjtt Thanks —I'd rather take the one you picked ■■;t for yourself." Arthur: "Are you sure she loves you?" J "Yes; when I told her I had no money to I marry 011 she aaked we if I couldn't borrow some." "Did I understand you to say that Mrs. Leeder, the lecturer, was your v ile ? Oh, co; no, indeed. 1 fcaid that I was Mrs. Leeders husband." A Welsh jnry once brought in this v*erdSct in a case of horse-stealing. My lord," said the foreman, we fiud the man who stole thl horse' Not guilty.' Lawyer's Clerk: Will ycu take a chair, miss?" Girton Girl: "No, thank you; I should not know what to do with it. But I'll sit down, if I may." 1 Bit down, if I may." 1 First Nursegirl: "So you're got a new place?" Second Nursegirl: Yes:' Do you like it?" "Like it? Why, it is right front of a police-station I Mable (relenting a little, bat still a trifle angry): "Anything I have of youras I* will return at once." Charlie (giving her a- kiss) j Well, there's your opportunity." What time do you dine ? a$k.;d aa unmar- ried man of a married friend. Well, when I was a bachelor I dined at six arrays. Now I line whenever dinner is ready. 1 A hen belonging to a Vale ot Glamorgan I widow holds strong Sabbatarian views. It won't lay an egg on Sunday, but always pro- vides a seventh late on Saturday uight. Bunson (amazed) That your uncle! Why j you told me that your uncle had boch his legs carried away at Sedau." Jimsou: So he did. He carried them away himself—pretty fast, I tell you." He (something of a bore): A deuced queek- I thing happened to me at the wax workp the other day. A lady mistook me for a wax figure." She: Was it in tfce chamber of, horror^?" ♦•Well, madam, how's your husband to- lay.T Why, doctor, he's no betJter." Did, you get the leeches ?" Yes; but he only; took three of them raw. I had to fry thee rest." | He: "My mother will be with us, she6 can't leave me." She: So will my mother- [ can't leave ber." He: litvell, under thp, circumstances, I guess we had better lea each other." Mies Cutely: "May I many Mr. RtapfyJ mamma ? Mrs. Cutely (decidedly) Not ot*. any account." Miss Cutely Set mother's band): "Not evea ;)11 hjg. bank acçounJ mamma ?" 1

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