The Carmarthen Journal and South Wales Weekly Advertiser

MISCELLANEOUS. SOTHERN'S LITTLE JOKE. Lord Dundreary off the stage made sells a fine art. Nobody ever played so many and such elaborate harmless practical jokes as Sothern did. Here is one told in his own words:— One morning at breakfast, in the public room of the Continental Hotel, Philadelphia, I observed an old gentleman who was obviously very much annoyed at the delay of the waiter in bringing his breakfast. I asked the head waiter who he was. He told me he was General So-and-so, an irascible old bachelor, and one of the regular boarders of the house. While waiting for my own breakfast I had discovered a "property letter," that had accidentally found its way among my own papers. It read as follows Young man,—I know thy secret-thou lovest above thy station if thou hast wit, courage, and discretion, I can secure to thee the realisation of thy most sanguine hopes," &c., &c. It was the letter which Claude Melnotte reads in The Lady of Lyons." It struck me on the instant that I would enclose it in an envelope, send it to the old gentleman, and watch the effect; so, calling one of the waiters-a coloured mail-I told him to go outside in the hall, remain for five minutes, and then return and deliver the letter, saying that the writer would call for a reply during the day. I also instructed the waiter, after giving this reply, to retire quickly and not to be seen again in the hotel until the next day, and that I would make it all right with his employer. Agreeable to my orders, in a few minutes the servant walked up to the General and put the letter in his hands. The old gentleman adjusted his spectacles, tore open the envelope, and, in an amazed tone, com- menced to read half-aloud, Young man, I know thy secret," and so on. I never saw anybody more bewildered. At last he called for the head waiter and demanded to see the servant who had delivered the letter; of course he was not to be found. The longer he pondered the more he seemed inclined to fly into a passion, and when his break- fast came the storm burst. "Confound the break- fast he exclaimed, almost kicking over the table. I want to see the lunatic who calls me a young man,' and says he knows my secret and can secure the realisation of my fondest hopes. I haven't got any secret, and my fondest hope is to kick the idiot who sent me this insane note! THE DOG WENT. A family in Lancashire owned a dog that had become quite old and troublesome. He was cross and would take the best place in the room, and no one could make him leave it willingly. At last grandma, much troubled, said Sir, this dog is so troublesome, we must send him away." The dog got up, and looked at her in sorrow, and went out of the room. In a few days they heard that this dog, whom everybody knew, had gone to the poorhouse, where the town's poor people were taken care of; and, stranger still, on Saturdays, when many of the inmates went to see friends, this dog also went home to see Sir," and Ma'am," stayed a while, and then went back again, and lived there ever after. I RATHER A DAMPER. A newly-married pair who arrived or. their honey. moon trip at a certain celebrated German watering- place, at a time when accommodation was at a premium, had a mattress spread for them by a compassionate innkeeper in one of his baths. In the middle of the night the house was alarmed by load shrieks proceeding from the nuptial chamber. What was the matter ? Well, this. The young bride, wishing to ring the bell for her maid, had caught hold of what she supposed to be a bell-rope, and pulled it smartly. Unhappily for her and her spouse, it was the cord of the shower-bath above their heads; and forthwith down plumped such a deluge of cold water as would throw a damper upon the most devoted of honeymooning couples. Her husband, in this dismay, caught frantically at another cord on his side of their extemporized couch, but the only response was an equally liberal deluge of water, this time nearly boiling hot. The unhappy pair screamed in unison, and the bride, in the excitement of the moment, uttered sentiments anything but complimentary to her fond spouse. When the servants came they were just in time to rescue the unhappy pair from drowning, for the room was already full of water, and the wife was perched like a monkey on her husband's neck, uttering lamentable cries, while her good man was fumbling in the dark trying to find the door. Let us hope that the subsequent wedded life of this unfortunate couple may be happier than its com- mencement. THREE TOASTS. A schoolmaster, being called on to give a toast, produced this sentiment: "Addition to the friends of Old England, subtraction to her wants, multiplication to her blessings, division among her foes, and reduction of her debts and taxes." That needs some beating; but there is a neat- ness in another toast which makes it worthy of a foremost place among examples of after dinner wit and wisdom. The sentiment thus expressed was The Press, the Pulpit, and the Petticoat-the three ruling powers of the day. The ftret spreads knowledge, the second morals, and the third spreads consider- ably." Alphonse Karr was present at a banquet of medical men, where toasts were drunk of certain celebrities, when the president said: Monsieur Karr, we now ask a toast from you. The poet r*se, and replied, modestly I propose the health of all who are sick." WORTH KNOWING. Fresh cold water is a powerful absorbent of gases. A bowl of water placed under the bed of the sick room, and frequently changed, is among the valuable aids in purifying the air. The room in which the London aidarmen sit is purified by open Teaaels of water placed in different parts of the room. It can be easily inferred from this that water standing for any length of time in a close room is unfit for drinking. Experiments of this kind are not costly. It has frequently been observed that restless and troubled sleep has been corrected by placing an open vessel of water near the head of the bed. THE SUPERSTITION OF SNEEZING. Sneezing is one of the acts of man to which superstitious notions have been attached from very old times. There seems to be a very general custom, both in Europe and India, to bless people when they sneeze. It is a custom spoken of by ancient authors, and even so old that an ancient writer like Aristotle seems to be ignorant of its origin. It is said that in the time of Gregory the Great an epidemic prevailed in Italy which carried off thousands. A similar epidemic is reported to have prevailed in the whole of Europe in the middle of the fourteenth century. The complaint began with an attack of sneezing, just as it was the case with the influenza last year. Thousands were killed by that dire disease. In times of these epidemics when a man began to sneeze hib friends and relations close by, knowing that the man was attacked by the disease, immediately wished him health and said some words to that effect. This seems to be the origin of the custom of blessing a man when sneezing. On such occasions it is not rnusual to bear Gud hjelp" (i.e., may God help you), in Sweden "Gesundbeit" (i.e., health), in Germany, and A vous soubaits (i.e., good wishes to you) in France. Again, superstitious notions of good or bad omen are associated with sneezing in different nations. Dryden alludes to it when he says- To thee Cupid sneezed aloud, And every lucky omen sent before, To meet the landing on the Spartan shore." Milton alludes to the same belief when he says in his Paradise Lost :— I heard the rack As earth and sky would mingle; but These flaws, though mortals fear them As dangerous to the pillar'd frame of hpaven Are to the main as wholesome as a sneeze To man's universe, and soon are gone. In India also a sneeze generally portends good or evil. A sneeze just when a man is on the point of leaving the house for an important business is a bad omen. To avert the evil consequence the man I generally waits for a minute or two, and then starts again for his business. Among some classes of Hindoos a sneeze by one of the opposite sex is generally understood to protend some good. For example, if it is a male who is thinking of some important affair, the sneeze of a female protends success, but that of a male failure. If it is a female who is occupied by such a thought the sneeze of a male portends success, and that of a female failure. SOCIALISM UNDER THE INCAS. The social institutions of ancient Peru were based upon agriculture. Large flocks of llamas and vicunas were at once beasts of burden and of slaughter. Plants and animals were looked after with great care. The territory of the empire was divided into three parts-one for the Sun, that is. sacerdotal caste one for the Inca the third for the people. The produce of the lands belonging to the Sun was devoted to the maintenance of the temples, to the celebration of sumptuous ceremonies and to provide for the wants of a numerous clergy. The luxury of the Court and the large hOUSt. holders attaching to the immense family of the Inca absorbed all the revenues of the royal domains. The rest of the land was divided among the people, and the partitioning of the lots uped to take place once in each year. Nothing was left to individual caprice. Every male was bound to marry at a certain age, and the district to which he belonged furnished him with a habitation and a strip of land, sufficient for himself and his wife. At the birth of each child an additional small piece of land was added to that originally granted, and the whole would increase or diminish eaoh year in proportion to the number existing in the family. The 11 Curacas," or men in Government employ- ment, received a lot in proportion to the importance of their office. The people worked for everybody. The three kinds of property were cultivated by them, and after a certain established order. The land of the Son was first looked after. Then came-and this is curious in a despotic State-the land of the incapable, and those who had become maimed through injuries received in the public seivice, those of old men, of the sick, of widows, of orphans, of soldiers in active service. Then everyone was free to work for himself, but under the general obligation to give assistance to his neighbours. At last, in the third place, people took care of the lands belonging to the Inca. This last work was under- taken as though it were a public rejoicing the population used to sing as they tilled the royal lands, and they were clothed in gala costume. All their undertakings were performed in the same way-to work the mines, to graze and look after the numerous flocks and llamas, to shear them, to weave the stuffs of wool or cotton, to make the roads, &c. But each Indian owed to the State only a certain portion of his time. As soon as his task was finished he was replaced by another man he was also maintained by the State as long as the State had need of him. The greater portion of the wool gathered from the llamas and vicunas was stored away overflowing the surplus went to the sick and the infirm. The stuffs were fabricated by the women, who were adepts at spinning and weaving. With these stuffs the families used first to clothe themselves, and the over-abundance was placed among the stores of the Inca. Men were employed to watch over the distribation of the goods, and over the execution of the work. Everything was done as it was wanted, the different employments usually passed on from father to son, and the hardest labour was always performed by the men. Thanks to this system, famine and misery were unknown. There was no mendicity private charity was needless no one bad to fear abandon- ment the community, as far as it was possible, provided for old age, sickness, infirmities, and accidents. There was no commerce and there were no travellers. STORY OF A DIAMOND. "There's the most beautiful diamond I have ever seen during an experience of thirty years with the sparkling gems," said a veteran diamond merchant, as he held up a stone that seemed to live in fire. From every facet radiated brilliant colours, and the hue of the stone was that steely blue which delights every connoisseur of the precious gems. The diamond did not weigh over six carats, but it easily worth a thousand pounds. "That stone has a tragic history," continued the man of jewels, as he laid the diamonds to rest amid a nest of snowy cotton. It comes from the De Beers mines, in South Africa, and was discovered by a coolie employed by the company. His prac- ticed eye saw that the gem was a mavellous one for beauty of colour, and a desire to steal it overcame him. Well, be did steal it, and to conceal the diamond about his person-for the coolies work almost naked in the diamond mines—cut a hole in his flesh under the arm. But the wound did not heal, and the observant eye of the foreman saw what was the matter. A few days after he charged the coolie with having stolen a diamond, but the negro denied it. When Jack, the foreman, reached for his sore arm, the thief made a dash, and ran towards the outskirts of the camp like a deer. The foreman followed him, but the fleet-footed negro outstripped him. He knew that a severe punish- ment awaited him if captured, and centred all his efforts on getting away with the stone, whose value would have made him rich for life. But Jack was equal to the emergency, and drawing his pistol, shot the coolie through the back just as he was taking to the hills. His dead body was dragged back into camp, his arm cut open, and the beautiful gem in the rough was taken from the insertion. It's a tragic story, but true as gospel, and only a sample of what has happened more tbau a hundred times in the diamond mines of South Africa." CLEVER CHILD. A little girl has an uncle who had taught her to open and shut his crushed hat. The other evening, however, he appeared with an ordinary silk one. Suddenly he saw the child coming with his hat wrinkled like an accordion. "Oh, uncle," she said, this one is very hard; I have had to sit on it, but I can't get it more than half shut." SELF SACRIFICE OF A FEMALE STORK. At Neuendorf, in the Teltow district (Prussia), the lightning struck the gable-end of a barn, where a pair of storks had built their nest for years. The flames soon caught the nest, in which the helpless brood was piteously screaming. The mother-stork now protectingly spread out her wings over the young ones, with whom she was burnt alive, although she might have saved herself easily enough by flight. After a short time, the male stork returned, and flew for hours in despair round the desolate home. SLEEPING IN CHURCH. Dr. South, when preaching before Charles II., observed that the monarch and his attendants began to nod. Some of them soon after snored, on which he broke off his sermon, and called Lord Lauderdale, let me entreat you to rouse yourself; you snore so loud that you will wake the King." THE TONGUE. Taste is not equally distributed over the whole surface of the tongue. There are three distinct regions, or tracks, each of which has to perform its own special office or function. The tip of the tongue is concerned mainly with pungent and acid tastes the middle portion is sensitive chiefly to sweets or bitters while the back, or lower portion, confines itself entirely to the flavours of roast meats, butter, oils, and rich and fatty substaaces. There are very good reasons for this sub-division of faculties in the tongue, the object being, as it were, to make each piece of food undergo three separate examinations, which must be successively passed before it is admitted into full participation in the human economy. The first examination gets rid of substances which would be actively and immediately destructive to the very tissues of the mouth and body; the second discriminates between poisonous and chemically harmless food-stuff; and the third merely decides the minor question whether the particular food is likely to prove then and there wholesome or indigestible to the particular person. The sense of taste proceeds, in fact, upon the principle of gradual selection and elimination. It retuses, first, what i? positively destructive next, what is more remotely deleterious and, finally, what is only undesirable or over-luscious. The English law formerly prescribed boiling where the culprit had committed a crime extremely revolting in its nature. The last person to suffer death by boiling in England was Rouse, cook to the Bishop of Rochester, who had poisoned seventeen persons. IN DARKEST AFRICA." The first English edition numbers 20,000 copies. It is estimated that during the last four months nearly 11,000 men, women, and children have been employed upon it. In England alone 60 compositors, 17 readers, 12 reading toyg. and 200 machine and warehousemen were at work on it. In the binding of 40,000 volume 500 men and 600 women were employed. There are ten foreign editions. The printing ink consumed amounts to ltonlOcwt. nultiply these figures by eight for the foreign editions, and you arrive at the enormous quantity of of 12 tons. The paper for the English edition weighs 65; tons. As the foreign editions are not so large as the English, the figures are multiplied by four only, which produces a total of 262 tons. The hinders' cloth used for England amounts to 4,500 yards, in America to 9,000, and in other countries to 1,000. That makes over eight miles! It is pstimated that 268 printing presses have been in me to print the book. CHINESE VISITING CARDS. Visiting is made a most serious business in China, and every individual of respectability muvt have a servant to carry and present his cards. A Chinese card is not a white, glazed, little bit of pasteboard, but a huge sheet of scarlet paper, with his name inscribed in large characters, the more mammoth like the character the more grand and respectable it is. Cards are of different kinds. There is the plain card—a single sheet of scarlet paper- with the name written or stamped nearest the right hand and topmost sides. This is employed on common occasions. Then there is the official card, mostly used by mandarins on visits of ceremony. This is also a single sheet, and it contains the name preceded by the entire title, written down the centre, from top to bottom. Then, again, there is the full card, which is only produced on very grand occasions, such as New Year visits, visits of congratulation or condolence. The full card is folded, and must contain ten folds. It does not give titles, but simply contains the name of the individual written in the right-hand and bottom corner of the first, prefixed by the words "Your stupid younger brother," and followed by the words bows his head and pays his respects." Where the person visited belong to a generation senior to the person visited belong to a generation senior to the visitor, the latter styles himself, Your stupid nephew." If to two generations senior the visitor writes Your more than stupid nephew." Should the individual visited belong to a younger generation, the visitor takes to himself the name of uncle instead of nephew," retaining, however, the depreciatory appellative of stupid." There are still further varieties of self-designation, according to the particular gradations of relation- ship, but those we have quoted will suffice to give an idea to our home readers of the punctilious rules peculiar to the Celestials. BAPTISMAL POLITICS. A good old clergyman with an innate sense of humour used to tell me a story of his own experience connected with the subject of baptism. It was about the year 1832, when the country popu- lation was greatly excited on the subject of the first Reform Bill. The village alehouse would be, naturally, the place where politics Would be discussed, and, as is so inimitably described by George Eliot in Felix Holt," the labourers would wax warm over their glass, as in these days they do over the newspaper. They saw in the Reform Bill the first glimpse of a possible though far distant future for themselves, and hoped that things were turning in the right direction, and all their thoughts and interests centered in the news from London. A Dissenter brought his child to the Church for baptism, from the sort of feeling that even now prevails in some rural districts that Church baptism is a preservative against many evils to which flesh is heir. When the clergyman put the question, Name this child," Reform, sir," was the answer given. This was too much for the good old Tory parson, who said, My good man, there is no such name. I cannot give your child such a name. Cannot you think of another?" Reform sir, was the answer, in more dogged tones than before and it ended in the clergyman refusing to continue the service, the aggrieved father march- ing off in high dudgeon. The following Sunday found the father returned to the charge with the baby.. The kindly parson, desirous of avoiding a repetition of an uncomfortable scene, went up to him and said, You have thought of another name for your child, I dare say." Yes, sir," was the courteous reply it's all right this time," Thus reassured, the clergyman began the service, and on saying the words Name this child," the answer was "John Russell Brougham Fergus O'Conuor." which striug of names the crestfallen parson was obliged to give the poor infant, who, for ought I know, still lives to bear it. Whether they were all duly registered would be an amusing subject of inquiry. THE CUCKOO. It was once thought that the cuckoo paired, but it is now known that the species is polygamous. The number of hens that constitute a harem is not known, but from the number of bachelor birds the males must greatly predominate over the females. Dissection conclusively proves that each female lays a series of eggs, and that these occur in the ovary in widely diffprent stages of maturity. The older naturalists thought that the cuckoo laid its eggs actually in the nests of other birds, but it is now known that it conveys them thither in its bill. The egg of the cuckoo has been found in the nests of sixty different species, several of which are exceedingly small and moreover domed. Among the sixty nests patronised were the anlikelv ones of the butcher-bird, jay, and magpie-all either bird or egg destroyers. This may seem to reflect on the cuckoo's stupidity; and the birds certainly exhibits deplorable ignorance of the fitness of the things when it deposits its egg in the nest of the diminutive goldcrest, or the cumbersome one of the cushat. A goldcrest might conveniently be stowed away in the gape of the young cuckoo without the latter detecting that the morsel was much more than a normal supply. The nests in which the eggs of the cuckoos are most frequently found are those of the meadow-pipit, hedge-sparrow, and reed-warbler. Now the eggs of these birds vary to a very consider- able degree and the question arise, whether the cuckoo has the power of assimilating the colour of its egg to those among which it is to be deposited. Certain eminent continental ornithologists claim that this is so, but facts observed in England hardly bear out the conclusion. Brown eggs have been found among the blue ones of the hedge-sparrow, redstart, wheatear among the green and grey ones of other birds; and the purely white ones of the wood-pigeon and turtle dove. The cuckoo's egg is brown, and it must be admitted that the great majority of the nests which it patronises contain eggs more or less nearly resembling its own. There is a general family likeness about those laid by the bird, not only in the same clutch, but from year to year, Admitting that the eggs of the cuckoo, as a species, vary more than those of other birds, it is yet probable that the same female invariably Jay eggs of one colour. This can only be surmised by analogy, though the one fact bearing .Y on the question is where two cuckoo's eggs were found in the same nest, and which differed greatly. More might have been learnt from the incident had it been known for certain whether the eggs were laid by the same or different birds. There is a general tendency in the habits of animals to become hereditary, and it seems not unreasonable to suppose that a cuckoo which has once laid its egg in the nest of any particular species should continue to do so, and the young cuckoo should also continue the practice in after years. She was a maid of high degree, And quite severely proper, Each man she met so proud was she, Would love, despair, then drop her. But there remained without demur, When all the rest forsook her, An amateur photographer, And finally he took her. And wilt thou think of me," said he, When I am far away from thee? Oh, yes," said she, I'll think of thee When thou art far away from me." ENVOY. The farther away the better," she said. Clothing Salesman Well, bow do you like this I pattern ? Customer: "Can't you give me something a little quieter ? Yoa see, I frequently come home after midnight, and it is a matter of some importance to me not to wake up my wife." I