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MISCELLANEOUS. ( HIGH SCHOOL OF PARADISE. A good deal of misplaced ingenuity has been expended at one time and another on inventing euphemisms for death; but I do not remember any one who has achieved a more fantastical result in that direction thin the author of the following advertisement, which appeared lately in the Church Fintes: On the 15th inst.. promoted from the Kindergarten of earth to the High School of Paradise, the sweet soul of Mary Sophia .Horsley, wife of the Hev. J. W. Horsley, Holy Trinity, Woolwich." This reverend eentleman could have known little of the life in a nineteenth-century High School, when he adopted it as a symbol of the eternal rest" beyond the grave. A MOUTH REVIEWER. A New York dentist employs a lady assistant at fifty dollars a week and a commission for every customer. Her duties are to go from house to house, inspect the feminine or the child's mouth only, cap a nene, insert wedges to loosen molars and incisors, clean teeth, and recommend whatever repairs are necessary. This lady is young and pretty, attractively dressed, and, while self- assert- tive, is still very much of a lady. WHO WOULD BE A GOVERNESS The governess-market is apt to suffer from depression; but it must, one would think, have been at a very low point indeed when Miss Willan Harker, of Richmond, Yorkshire, took service as day governess in the family of a surveyor at Stockton, at a salary, as agreed, of 25s. a month, coupled with the privilege of dining in the house. Miss Harker, accor,ling to her statement, found herself under the necessity of taking a lodging in Stockton at a rent which more than absorbed the whole of her modest stipend but a bargain is of course a bargain, and of all this she made no complaint. What she did complain of was that, besides the three children to whom she bad agreed to teach English and music, a couple of infants were placed in her charge. Nor was this all, for when the servants left, the new governess had to cook the dinner, wash the dishes, and clean the knive3." After this Miss Harker thought herself entitled to a holiday,; but the suggestions led to differences, and ended in the governess being shown the door." Hence an action in the Stock- ton County Court for a month's wages in lieu of notice. For the defence it was urged that Miss Harker's reference was not satisfactory but it was answered that her employers had neverthe- less rested content with it till those disputes arose. It was also urge that she bad omitted to disclose the circumstance that she bad been in a lunatic asylum some eight or ten years ago. Bnt what of that ? Some people, said the judge, are insane for years, and yet recover. He happened to know a lady who for over twenty years was mad as a March hare," and who now is perfectly sane. Judgment for Miss Harker, with costs, payable forthwith. MR GLADSTONE AND SUSPECTS. THEN AND NOW. II Senex" writes to the Times:—Mr Gladstone waxed very wroth in his speech on the Tipperary and Cashel meetings yesterday about the present system of shadowing that is, witching persons whom there are reasonable grounds for believing likely to commit, or incite to the commission of crime and illegalities. Many of us have probably forgotten his method of dealing with the same class of persons in 1881-1882, They were certainly not simply watched, but they were arrested and incarcerated for many months on suspicion alone. No magisterial investigation was held and no form of trial gone through. Over a thousand Irish patriots were locked up for months in this way under Mr Gladstone's most coercive regime, and to this day those who suffered thus cling to the name "suspect" as one indicating a martyr to his country's cause through the tyranny of Mr Gladstone. STOLEN PROOF SHEETS. It would seem that the circulars issaed by Messrs Sampson Low and Co. warning the newspapers against accepting offers for the supply of surrep- titiously obtained proofs of Mr Stanley's forth- coming book have been successful. The warning was not at all unneeded; for it is a fact that a complete set of the proofs was for a time on the market and there is no doubt that had their original possessor known how to approach some of the less scrupulous of the newspapers, a very Inrge proportion of the text of Dark Africa would have been in the possesion of the public several weeks ago. How they came into the possesion of the vendor it is unnecessary to state. Suffice it to say that the person in question took an early opportunity of consulting a well-known journalist with whom he was acquainted as to whether an editor could be found who would be willing to purchase them. The journalist happened to be connected with a morning newspaper, and was also a contributor to the St. James's Gazette, He at once told his interviewer that he had no taste for the business proposed to him but that he considered himself in duty bound to mention it to the Editors of the journals with which he was connected, and if they chose to under- take it he would leave the matter in their bands. Both the Editor of the St. James's Gazette and the Editor of the morning newspaper declined the effer, notwithstanding that they were shown specimens of the proofs. Thrown on hisown resources, he approach- ed the Editor of another newspaper and was success- ful in arranging withthim to publish a long abst met of the book. Similiar arrangements were also con- cluded with the agents of two colonial newspapers; but before they could be carried out the matter reached the ears of the publishers, and the warning circulars were issued. The way in which the sus- picions of Messrs Sampson Low aud Co. were first aroused is rather curious. The journalist to whom the offer was first made narrated the story to a circle of friends one evening at his own house, and in the course of conversation gave some particulars of the prefatory letter to Dear Sir William. Among the company happened to be a contributor to a literary newspaper, who, from his recollections of the viva voce summary, supplied that journal with a piece of literary gossip, which duly appeared the following week, and no doubt attracted the attention of the publishers. A HEROINE OF SIXTEF,.N. THE EXTRA- ORDINAY SWIM FROM THE QUETTA." In the history of this century (writes L, T. Meade in Woman) there has, perhaps, never been known an instance of greater courage, endurance, and pluck than that shown by Emily Lacy, a young girl under sixteen years of age, at the time of the wreck of the Quetla. As Miss Lacy is related to some personal friends of my own, I have asked permission to publish a few more particulars about her. She and her younger sister, aged thirteen, were coming to England to complete their education. When the crash came, Emily immediately rushed to the cabin to try and rescue her younger sister, and the two succeeded in reaching the deck, where, however, they were at once separated and they never met afterwards. Miss Lacy says that as the vessel was going down a gentleman in whose care the girta were, said to her, "You look after yourself, and I will take care of May." Both this gentleman, however, and the little sister were drowned. "When we got aft," she writes, the ship suddenly went down, and as I was drinking in the salt water I thought I was going to be drowned. But I came up again and was surrounded by Cingalese and sheep. I felt myself being pressed down by them; it was terrible. Then I saw a raft a short distance out, and was dragged on to it by the purser, who was very kind to me. We were attached to a bigger raft, crowded with Cingalese. When we got away some distance, as the ° Cingalese became very noisy we cut our raftadrift, and I remained on her with the purser for a long time, till we were, as I thought, two miles from shore; and, as he told me that he could not swim, I left him and swam for the shore, but I did not reach it, as it WI'S so far away. I went on swimming towards the land, and saw another raft, on which were two Cingalese, to which I made my way, and got to it; but, as they were very rude and excited, and I thought they might be drunk, I left it, and took to swimming again." When lifted out of the water she could not have kept up for another half hour. She was quite without clothes, and burnt nearly black with the sun. Before lifting her out of the water a sailor threw his jacket over her, and then laid her teuderly in the bottom of the boat. For twenty consecutive hours she had been swimming and floating, sometimes on her back, sometimes on her side. She spoke of the heat as so intense that she had continually to keep her head under water to escape sunstroke. She says that the had never any conscious fear of death, either from drowning, or from a worse and more terrible snemy, sharks, but she often felt her powers of endurance giving way, and it was only the thought of the agony her death would have caused her parents which enabled the heroic girl to continue her exertions. The wreck took place at 9 p.m. on Friday, February 28, and Miss Lacy was not rescued until eight o'clock on Sunday morning. Twelve hours out of that time she spent with the chief officer Grey, who had got on a raft. As he could not swim, the brave girl swam by the side of the raft and tried to tow it towards land. Finding, however, that she was making no progress, she left him, hoping to reach land, which did not seem far away, and so get food and water for herself and him. She soon, however, got into cross-currents, and when the Albatross rescued her she wa3 drifting out. to sea. Miss Lacy is now recovering from the fearful shock she has under- gone, and has before now returned to her home, She expressed a great dread of going on the water, and it is scarcely likely that the intrepid girl will ever visit England. PERFORMING LIONS. To add zest to the excitement of the Wild East at the French Exhibition, the famous lion tamer Darling and his group of lions aud boarhounds have been imported from the Nouveau Cirque in Paris, where they have been appearing before crowded houses for the last five months. The feats performed are of an unusually novel and daring character, exhibiting in a remarkable degree the pitch of perfection to which the tamer has brought his sleek and menacing pupils. Four of the lions sulkily consent to a game of see-saw, the dog, a delightful human creature, keeping the balance. A couple work a tricycle with the precision of a champion. And a splendid termination is furnished by a race between the hound and one lion, and the remaining three harnessed to a Roman chariot. Thii is said to be the only instance on record of lions having been turned to this account since the spectacles in the Colloseum in Rome. The first performances on Monday attracted a great concourse of excited spectators, and it is beyond question the most interesting sequel the management could have devised to the wonderful horsemanship and curious displays of native customs provided by the Arabs. THE LATEST FROM PARIS. A large leghorn hat, seen yesterday at the Auteuil races, was tiimmed with turquoise velvet and pink crush roses, the front of the broad brim bearing a novel originality in the shape of three small garden implements made of greenish straw or reeds, a wee corbeille Louis XVI., a hoe, a rake, and a minute crook, each ornament being tipped with gilt metal. Another bonnet was formed of several coils of golden rope in turban shape, with black feathers front and back, and narrow velvet strings. Yet another hat was of rustic straw with a garland of mulberry flowers and fruit, and bows of mulberry velvet. Owl hats are much to the fore, and are mostly worn with morning gowns. This somewhat changes the ordinary habits of the twoo- twooitts, who seem to gaze in deep astonishment on the surrounding multitude, and, placed with outspread wings on broad brims, look as though I they were making ready to fly back to their shady woods, or back to their moonlit towers. Alas, poor birdies it is a case of quoting the raven refrain to them of Never more will their speckled brown wings whizz through the midnight air, having attained a higher purpose (?), i.e., that of adorning beauty's cranium at Fashion's decree. E SUICIDE OF A WIDOW. Maria Aksenow, a woman thirty-three years of age, committed suicide on the grave of her husband in the Wagankow cemetery on Thursday (says a Petersburg telegram to Dalziel) by setting her clothes on fire, after soaking them in kerosene. The cask containing kerosene which she had carried with her also caught fire and exploded. The noise alarmed the gravediggers, but before help came she had p. rished in the flames. The woman had been subject to melancholy since the death of her husband, six months ago, and bad made several previous attempts upon her life. TWO WONDERFUL TWINS. There are two young artisans of Bristol, named Johnson, who are twins, and between whom the similarity is far more remarkable than in Shkk- speare's two Oromios even. Not only are they of the same height and weight, having the same coloured hair, eyes, and complexion, identical physical measurements, and feeding, walking, running, laughing, crying, singing, and speaking alike, but they are of the same occupation, hold the same position, and have the same religious persuasion and likes and dislikes. More singular still, they have espoused very similiar wives, and they have the same number of children, who are of the same sexes, three girls and three boys each. W TO GET YOUR NOVEL PUBLISHED. Mr Murray asserts that London publishers have at the most part now seen the unwisdom of trusting to their own unaided judgment, and that nearly all have experienced tasters attached to their houses. He mentioned three: Andrew Lang (Longmans), James Payn (Smith, Elder, and Co.), and George Meredith (Chapman and Hall). Gentlemen of high standing like these, he says, know that their own credit is at stake, and take I particular care not to send away good manuscript. Christie Murray's advice to the budding fictionist it, If you have written a novel of character and observation send it to Chatto and Windus; a religious story should be sent to Hodder and Stoughton, and one of rattling love and adventure to Cassell and Co," AN ACUTE THIEF. Montague Williams tells a curious anecdote of a gentleman who, going to sleep in a railway carriage in a compartment having but one other occupant, woke and missed his watch. Instantly he accused his fellow-traveller of stealing it. The other indignantly denied the charge, but was arrested. When the case came up in Bow-etreet the prose- cutor, greatly confused, stated that he had made a lamentable mistake, having discovered since the arrest that he had left his watch at home that morning by inadvertence. Nothing remained but to tender his sincerest apologies to the innocent man in the dock. Sir James Ingrain, who was presiding in the Court, hereupon observed—" It is a most remark. able occurrence. To show. however, how liable we all are to make these mistakes, I may mention, as an extraordinary coincidence, that I myself have only this morning been guilty of precisely the same oversight as the one in question. I was under the impression when I left my home in Remington that I put my watch (which, I may mention, is an exceedingly valuable one) in my pocket; but on arriving at this Court I found that I must have left it at home by mistake." When the Jadge returned home that night, one of his daughters ujet him and exclaimed—" Papa dear, I suppose you got your watch all right? Well, my der," replied the magistrate, as a matter of fact I went out this morning without it." Yes, I know papa," his daughter replied, H but I gave it to the mau from Bow-street, who called for it." Of course the man from Bow-street was a shrewd thief who had been in Court tint morning, had heard Sir James tell the story of his extraordinary coincidence," and, no doubt stimulated by the remark about the great value of the watch, bad taken this simple method to obtain possession of it. Nor did the victim ever see his property again. A WELL EARNED KNIGHTHOOD. One of Judge Lloyd's many claims to destruction is that he has killed the" tally" system, which was, on his appointment as County Court Judge of the North Wales and Chester Circuit, the curse of the country. Jew pedlars from Liverpool and Manchester infested the district, and tempted the peasants' wives with flash watches and pinchbeck jewellery. When the unhappy victim? fell in arrears, the Shylocks promptly County-courted them. They reckoned, however, without Judge Lloyd. By postponing the tallymen's" caRes when possible; by bringing them on first, when the unsuspecting plaintiff thought they would be last, and in their absence striking the causes off the list; by keeping Shylock, whose face Judge Lloyd soon got to know, all day wasting his time in the Court; by ordering a five-pound debt for a gold watch, sold to a woman whose husband's wages were twelve shillings a week, to be paid off by instalments of a shilling a month; by never allowing costs, he has cleared North Wales of what I was twenty years ago its great curse. For this, then, if for nothing else, Sir Homtio Lloyd deserves the honour which he and Sir Rupert Kettle alore among the County Court Judges possess. THE FIRST LADY DOCTOR. In glancing through one of my books the other diy I came upon a curious little story not without interest to vegetarians. In the fifties there was in London society a curious, wizened and ugly little personage, a vegetarian doctor who had held a medical commission and gone through the Peninsular war. A fire-eater and quarrelsome, this strange little creature had challenged and fought several brother officers, and gained a most objection- able reputation generally. With shrivelled face and yellow skin the doctor was a most repulsive object, and to crown matters it is quaintly stated When his death occurred he was discovered to be a woman."