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CLUB WINDOW. IIjII Lord Charles Beresford's autograph costs lialf-a-crown. The popular Admiral was so frequently asked for his signature that he now demands this sum from each autograph. hunter. The money Lord Charles gives to the naval charities in which he is interested. A good story is being told of the days when the Earl of Crewe was Viceroy of Ireland. lie had a considerable sense of the importance of the Vieeroyalty, and when out walking one morning with a lady he passed first through a small gate. "The Prince of Wales always opens a door for me," said his companion reprovingly. "That may be," returned Lord Crewe; "but I represent the Queen." The Hon. W. S. Fielding, the Canadian Finance Minister, is the champion Budget- maker of the world, since he has twelve suc- cessive Canadian Budgets to his credit. These Budgets are not of merely local importance, for Mr. Fielding is the author of the Prefer- ence Budget of 1897, and it is possible that his financial policy may have, very wide developments. Mr. Fielding is a self-made man, and 44 years ago was serving as a junior clerk in the office of a Nova Scotian newspaper, the Halifax "Chronicle." A well-known judge once complained that he could not hear in a certain court, and said to one of the responsible officials, The acoustics are execrable." "Really, my lord," was the reply, "you surprise me. I can't smell anything!" Of Dr. King, the Bishop of Lincoln, many curious stories are told, notwithstanding the placid and uneventful life that he has led. One day, and he tells the tale himself, he was sitting in a chair by the seashore, and on attempting to rise found that his legs were not so young as they were. While he was still struggling to gain an erect position a fisherman's little daughter came along and lent her aid. "Thank you, little girl," said the Bishop, when safely on, his feet. "Oh, it's nothing," said the girl, in reply; "I've helped father to get up many a time when he hasn't been near so sober as yon." It is well known that polo numbers at least one reigning monarch among its keenest votaries, says "The Bystander." I refer to King' Alfonso, who, I am told, would love to take a hand in a game at the London clubs. And probably he would have done so ere this but for the rather strong views in this direc- tion held by King Edward. Our beloved Sovereign does not allow his love of sport to outweigh his sense of what is expected or crowned heads, and his Majesty considers, it would not be exactly dignified for the young King of Spain to play polo before a muster of club members and their friends. A good story which Sir Archibald Geikie is fond of telling relates to Sabbath-break- ing north of the Tweed. Donald was ham- mering away at the bottom of hie garden when his wife came to the door. "Mon," she said, "ye're making much clatter. What wull the neebours say? "Bother the nee- bours," said the busy one. "I maun get ma' barra ni'sndit." "Oh, but, DonaJ', it's vera wrang to work on Sawbath, retorted the good wife; "ye ought to use screws." # Lieutenant Shackleton has been in some very tight corners. On one occasion he suf- fered so much from lack of foid that he was harassed by the tantalizing dream that he was being chased round and round an aching void by several large, three-cornered, lus- cious jam-tarts. Captain Scott's book, "The Voyage of the Discovery," contains, amongst other amusing references to Shackleton, the' story of how he discovered a plum-pudding on Christmas Eve. "I had observed Shackle- ton ferreting about in his bundle, out of which he presently produced spare sock, and stowed away in the top of that sock was a small round object about the size of; a cricket ball, which, when brought to light, proved to be a noble plum-pudding. Another dive into his lucky-bag, and out came a crumpled piece of artificial holly." An incident whichhappenecl to the Prince and Princess of Wales, when, as Duke and Duchess, of York, they were visiting a Mid- land town, is still remembered by them. As the Royal procession was paesing a certain house there happened to be sitting at a win- dow a parrot. The window being raised, the bird heard the applause of the passing crowd, and when one of them, shouted, "Three cheers for the Duke of York," the parrot promptly told him to "Shut up." Tunbridge Wells has termed Mr. R. Arnold the "farthing man," because it was he who, eleven years ago, first started his "farthing campaign" for London slum chil- dren's breakfasts. That year he collected 600 farthings. The following year he more than doubled that amount, and every suc- ceeding year has seen an advance on its pre- decessor. During 1908 no fewer than 22,000 farthings were collected, making.8. total in I eleven years of 70,000. A big effort is to be made in 1909 to get 30,000, so that the 100,000 mark may be reached in the twelve years. Misfortunes may have their humorous side, as the following anecdote fully testifies: Mr. Beerbohm Tree, always a keen motorist, was I on one occasion going down hill when sud- I denly he realised that his driver had lost con- trol of the car. They were hurtling down a hill at a terrible rate. To the left was a sheer precipice; to the right a hard rock; in front, in the narrow road, were two carts. Mr., Tree's car crashed into the cart on the Mr., Tree's car crashed into the cart on the right, smashing the wheel, bounded off, and banged into the csrt on the left. "I de- scended from my shattered seat," says Mr. j Tree. "The occasion was to me too great for words, and I regarded my driver with the cold, grey eye of reproach. He w.as a thorough Cockney, and equal to the occa- sion. All he said was, 'Not a bad "ad. ■; guv'nor!' I # # # I Sir Ford North has been interesting him- self greatly in entomology since he gave up his judgeship in the Chancery Division some six years ago, and is now a Fellow of the Royal Society. Sir Ford is not only an authority on but a great collector of moths, -butterflies, beetles, and" bugs" generally, to use the American word. He has a museum of specimens at his house near Hyde Park, t # I Sir Evelyn Wood started life intending to be an Admiral, but instead he finds himself a Field Marshal. As a member of the Naval Brigade he fought in the Crimea, where he was severely wounded while carrying a scaling ladder to the Redan. It was not until 1855 that he turned his thoughts to the Army and joined the 13th Lancers. Mr. Will Thorne's first speech was made at the corner of Beckton-road, Canning Town, London, in 1884 (twenty-seven years of age) j upon the question of Home Rule for Ireland. When he first got up on the platform it was | anticipated that he would speak for about an | hour, but he broke down after speaking for five minutes. Here is another "Spoonerism," as those I' amusing slips of the tongue on the part of Dr. Spooner, of Oxford, are designated. As the head of New College, the Doctor rose to his feet at a breaking-up supper, cleared his throat, and began: Er-er-er, it is now my—. er—pleasant duty to propose the liost of the toast and toastess

TEA TABLE TALK.

IFASCINATING PROCESS OF RE-BEAUTIFYING…

i Ai.,q ARTILLERY FEAT.

BARRACKS FATALITY.

YOUNG COUPLE ATTACKED.

--THINGS THOUGHTFUL.

_..--_, THE POULTRY YARD.…

STOLEN MOTOR-CAE.I

COSTLY HISTORY.

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DEVON BOATING DISASTER.

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