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SCOTTISH ANECDOTES. (Froll Traits auditories of the Scottish People, by the Pliev. Charles Rogers, L.L.D., F.S.A.) Mr. William Roger, of Ryehill, Perthshire, great- grandfather of the writer, was frequently employed to arbitrate in agricultural concerns. Though a person of substance and known probity, he had been, in an affair of arbitration, offered a bribe by both parties. The monies supposed to be the price of his conscience were p sent him shortly before the period when he was to make his award. He placed the two budgets of guineas one in each pocket of his upper coat, and proceeded to meet the parties. Having taken his seat he said, striking his hands on his sides, There is a rogue on this side, and a rogue on that, but an honest man in the middle." He then made his award, and drew forth the rogues from his pockets, which he returned, to the owners. In the times of feudal jurisdiction, the principal landowners were Lords of Regality," and so exercised the power of inflicting capital sentences on those who resided on their estates. Any one who was sentenced by the Laird to suffer death was, however precious his life might be to his family, readily resigned to the executioner. A young Highlander condemned by the J-aml (Ji-iMit for sheep-stealing, was reluctant to mount the fatal drop. The executioner having failed to induce him to ascend, that functionary- called on the wife ot the condemned to render her assistance. The woman went up to her husband, tapped him gently on the shoulder, and said coaxingly, "Noo, Donald, gang awa^up, and be hangit like a shentleman, and no anger the laird." The last Duke of Gordon was as Marquis of Huntly, celebrated for playing the gaberlunzie. This exploit being mentioned in company, a gentleman pre- sent took a bet with him that under no possible dis- guise could his lordship deceive him. In the course of a few days he appeared at the house of his friend, in his guise as a mendicant. The owner of the mansion was walking in his avenue, when the pseudo-beggar saluted him with becoming reverence and asked an awmous. The gentleman told him to step into the hall, and there to see what could be found for a keen appetite. The gaberlunzie humbly thanked his honour, and proceeding into the hall, had placed before him an abundant supply of cold meat, bread, and beer. Having partaken* of the cheer, he again crossed the path of the gentleman, who asked him how he had fared. "Very poorly, very poorly," replied the mendicant; I had nothing but cold beef, sour bread, and stale beer." "You must be' a saucy scoundrel," said the gentleman, who called to some of his people to hasten his departure. The beggar threw aside his the rags, and appeared before his astonished friend as the Marquis of Huntly! A story is related in a recent publication of an in- cident which occurred in a London clubhouse, when several gentlemen thought to discover the peculiar idiosyncrasy of the inhabitants of the three' king- doms by putting the same question to one individual of each. Three street porters wtre called in, these being natives of England, Ireland, and Scotland. What would you take," said the president to the English- man, to run three times round Russell Square, stripped to the shirt ?" I'll take a pot o' porter, sir," was the reply. The question being put to the Hibernian, he shrugged his shoulders, and with the naivete of Irish humour exclaimed, "Sure I'd take a mighty great cowld." Sandy was next asked. He scratched his head, and archly replied by the cautious interrogatory, What will ye gie me ?" The celebrated Henry, first Viscount Melville, was on a visit to Edinburgh shortly after the passing of some unpopular public measure to which he had given his support. On the morning after his arrival he sent for a barber to shave him at his hotel. This function- ary, a considerable humourist, resolved to indicate his sentiments respecting his lordship's recent procedure as a legislator. Having decorated his lordship with an apron, he proceeded to lather his face. Then, flourishing his razor, he said, We are obliged to you, my lord, for the part you lately took in the passing of that odious bill." Oh, you're a politician, said his lordship; "I sent for a barber." "I'll shave you directly," added the barber, who, after shaving one- half of the beard, next came to the throat, across which he drew rapidly the back of his instrument, saying, "Take that, you traitor." He then hastily withdrew. Lord Melville, who conceived that his throat had been cut from ear to ear, placed the apron about his neck, and with a gurgling noise shouted Murder The waiter immediately appeared, and, at his lordship's entreaty, rushed out to procure a surgeon. Three members of the medical faculty were speedily in attendance but his lordship could scarcely be persuaded by th<?ir joint solicitation to expose his throat, around which he firmly held the barber's apron. At length he consented to an examination but he could only be convinced by looking into a mirror that his throat had been untouched. His lordship was mortified by the merriment which the occurrence ex- cited, and speedily returned to London.








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